If this hurts your feelings...just remember that everyone is “perfect”in month one... if someone doesn’t find you amazing...you’re dating the wrong human.
I'm going to shower you with attention and my awareness. I'm going to give you a lot of my time. I'm going to be in physical proximity to you. I'm going to touch you, hold you, cuddle you. I'm going to try to connect with you physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. I'm going to take good care of you. I'm going to care about your needs. I'm going to help you to meet your needs. I'm going to help you to survive. I'm going to shelter you from excessive suffering, fear and trauma. I'm going to have your back. I'm going to defend you and be loyal to you. I'm going to take on your agenda as my own. I'm going to make you an extension of me. I'm going to treat you as well as i would treat myself. I'm going to be happy for you when you succeed. I'm going to want for you what you most want for yourself. I'm going to sacrifice for you and work on your behalf. I'm going to support you nurture you and encourage you. I'm going to cheerlead you. I'm going to encourage your self-exploration, self-expression and self-actualization. I'm going to respect your sovereignty as a consciousness. I'm not going to try to manipulate you, control you, dominate you or exploit you. I'm going to totally accept you and never judge you. I'm going to value you for your sake and appreciate you and see your intrinsic beauty. I'm not going to need anything from you and I'm not going to make you a tool to satisfy my own needs. I'm going to respect your point of view, wanting to understand your point of view, wanting to understand you, your uniqueness, taking the time to deeply get to know you. I'm not going to force my agenda or point of view on you. I'm going to listen to you and care about your interests and share similar interests with you. I'm going to develop togetherness with you and collaborate with you. I'm going to be there for you when you're down and hopeless. I'm going to be there for you when you're lonely. I'm going to validate your feelings, sharing your emotions with you, empathizing with you. Your pain is going to be my pain. I'm going to meet you where you're at, at your developmental level. I'm going to forgive you for your mistakes. I'm going to be patient with you. I'm going to see the good in you even when you don't see the good in yourself. I'm going to be generous and kind. I'm going to give you verbal approval and praise. I'm going to compliment you on your uniqueness. I'm going to keep my promises to you. I'm going to keep my peace with you, avoid conflict with you. I'm going to tell the truth to you. You're going to be able to fully trust me and I'm never going to cash in on that trust. I'm going to see your realness, warts and shadow and all as you truly are. I'm going to deeply appreciate the finite portion of consciousness that you are and I'm going to accept your selfishness whenever you have the urge to be selfish. Now ask yourself on a scale of 0 to 10 how loved do you feel? Open Your Eyes. 😂🦘🦘🧨
What I find the most ironic is the fact that most men COME BACK after giving them their "space", whilst women totally cool off and wanna move on by the time men figure out they do want to be a part of the relationship. Men wanna see what's out there and if they can find a better one, and when they DON'T they crawl right back
I dated a guy who was consistently inconsistent. He would start text convos only to disappear after asking a question. He told me flat out. He didn't want to talk to me all the time, and he was an active father. I said ok, and fell back. A month later, he is texting back right away and wanting to have full phone conversations....I had lost interest by that time. 🤷🏾♀️
Sometimes people are just very busy, I work full time, have my own business, play football 3 times a week to keep fit, am a father and I'm renovating a house. Yeh I may have taken a bit too much on pfff... But, I tried to date a girl recently, we were talking very regularly at first but I had to dial it back because I was losing focus on some of my responsibilities, so I had to save replying to her when I was not busy with being a father and making sure my employees were getting paid etc. Please don't take this as an emotional or angry response, just an explanation for some intermittent communication. Sounds like your case may have been different, but I think sometimes people jump to conclusions about why people are not replying and because of all the games being encouraged on social media it's making people more paranoid about other's actions and motives.
@Tim Bob not taking it angry at all. I understand your position, in my opinion when your as busy as you are and dating is not a priority. As long as you informed the other person upfront, there shouldn't be a problem. Then she won't have expectations that you don't live up too. But I definitely get busy, I'm just saying communication, effective communication is imperative in these types of situations.
@@delorismartin3537 100%, I definitely made the mistake of trying too hard to make time right at the beginning of seeing the woman I mentioned, to the point that it was unsustainable and probably made me look like some kind of narcissistic love bomber. But yeh, communication is absolutely the most important thing in relationships, life, everything. You sound like you have your head screwed on well. Good luck to ya.
This is only IF the man is on the fence about you or is a player. Trust me, if a man sees potential on you and wants you, he’ll be all over you and want to see you all the time as soon as you meet. He will want to take you off the market because he sees something special that other men will see too
Nobody can fall in love with someone who is never around. Love comes from learning about a person and deciding whether or not they are the right one. If you ignore someone they will never get to know you and you will never get to know them. These day's high value means nothing. We need to find equal value.
I disagree some people get attached when your ebkr always there and others resend you when you're all up under them. I've heard pkenty of men say this. It's not about ignoring all the time it's about not being needy and giving healthy space while having your own life. No need to be needy and guy crazy and oversaturate yourself in his life.
@@SR77736 the only men you’re hearing say that is not majority of men. Majority of men are single and lonely and invisible to the majority of women. The only men that you hear saying that are the players or the guys with alot of status in Highschool/college. Your average Joe guy that works at Wendy’s has never said that, and would probably love a women to be very close to him.
Reminder: Don't tryna get over-obsessed with these love instruction videos like this, u could get misled. I used to and that ruined my last relationship
Exactly honestly overthinking these things gets overwhelming and it can easily make you lose yourself. I had the best relationship with my first love in undergrad because we were both real with one another. No games no push and pull nonsense, it was so easy and simple. That’s my kind of relationship, I don’t have have time and energy for the bs. The only thing was that I made it clear that I will walk away for any bs and he knew I was serious and that’s what made him act right. I didn’t have to act like a fever dream 😂
Lol…. Been with my fiancé for 7 years now. We are always together. Last weekend I got up and went for a really early breakfast by myself. I am just leaving the restaurant and he texts me “where are you?” And I told him, and he hits me with “why didn’t you wake me up, we could have gone together? 😢” Every couple is different, and I much prefer having a relationship where we are down to hang whenever than having to worry about if I’m “around” too much. I’d honestly rather be single than have to think about that. We are going to breakfast together this weekend and I already know it will be even more fun because he is there. 😊
You may have missed the point of what she’s saying. She said if you spend too much time IN THE WRONG STAGE of the relationship, then it may cause an issue. ....and course, there are always exceptions to the rule. But what she’s saying is tried and true. 💛
@@chocolatechunks07 okay. I respect your point of view. I do agree with it as well. That's why I stated "At least I hope so" I aware of that knowledge for sure👍
Yes! Ladies, this is also especially important when it comes to a man who genuinely doesn't want you or have any true intentions towards you. He will not chase you with distance. It won't work. A great way to ween out the time wasters.
A lot of men won’t chase simply because they don’t see the point in pursuing girls who feel like they have use distance to stir emotions. From their perspective unneeded distance is just screwing them around, or they’ll just think you’re not interested and won’t pursue because who would pursue someone who’s disinterested,
It’s almost like you’re playing a toxic game with someone who literally doesn’t value you. Why should you adhere to these mind games? Stay with someone who is genuine and makes you feel peaceful. Cuz life’s short .
Best comment under this video. If someone is interested in you, he/she will always try to reach you and want to be you. If not, why bother. You just live once, use your lifetime preciously, respect your boundaries.
I think the same can be applied to friendships too. When you appear to be too needy for friends then people resent you. Whereas when you really stop caring about gaining other people’s approval they start running back to you . Isn’t it ironic?
That’s not how I see my friendships. Usually I enjoy being alone majority of the time so for me if I want to be around you all the time, friends or romantic interests, that means I really like you and value you as a person.
I used to be that person 😆 but really after stop caring about what other thinks of you I actually got friend who is actually my type and it is better to have 1 good friend than group of fools .
How about just matching his energy? If he gives attention, give it too. If he pulls away, pull away too. If he invests, invest too, if he does not, then you don't either. If I need to distance myself from a man for him to see my value, it will not last. What do we do if married? He should just love my company or leave.
I was with my ex for 9 years and he needed a lot of alone time and I understood it and now being single and not being needy works a lot. You just got to be comfortable and confident in yourself and if they leave let them.
9ys??? Woww he got sik off being together that he realise he needed space forever from you? Interesting... he needed lots of space... lots of space until he got all space in world. Great
Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Yeah, I used to be this way, but now I know that I ignored that he did everything to keep me as an option and these times are over. I am done with him. Only then they will respect you but sorry, not sorry, its too late. Life is good without him.
These applies both to men and women. I will explain it in simple terms. It's called taking my energy back and focusing on my self, you are not feeding them energetically anymore so you become more attractive. That's it.
@@melmel7011 If both are woke and healthy I guess no hunting games take place. They either know that they are made for each other or that they re not. If there is pride in asking for forgiveness or there is difficulty in accepting an apology because of egoism then healing has to take place on either side before the union.
But what kind of men are you going to get by doing all of this? The kind of men who want the unattainable, hottest, most mysterious woman who, as we all know, is just a figment of their imagination. No real, authentic connection comes from all these games and tactics. Just be yourself and relax, that's the only rule you need to follow. someone who is a yin to your yang will come along, not a line of idiots for whom you are just a prompt for imagination. Because imagination cannot sustain a relationship, eventually he's going to have to know YOU. And then this kind of guy will get bored and go on to chase another mysterious woman who's sparked his imagination. If you wanna play that game, go ahead, I'm not judging you, it can even be fun. But I doubt most people watching this video do.
That´s just not reality for the majority. Men and women play games in dating - not when in a relationship but certainly in the initial stages otherwise you run the risc of pushing the other away if you come on too strong
@@misspeacelove7395 rather push away, the people who are supposed to stay and know what they want aren't pushed away by a strong personality of someone who demands one to decide, commit ,resolve or nothing
He ghosted me for months.. went deactivated in FB and I heard he is enjoying his life.. hanging out with people.. but I didn't chase him.. I acted normal.. Now he is back and notice that I am no longer into him.. something has changed. 🤣 He seem to be curious now if I am still single as I am already dating other guy. Too bad he played games with me.
Same thing happened to me. I really liked him and was so hurt when he led me on then ghosted me but kept reappearing in my fb messenger and playing head games with me. Always had an excuse why he couldn't see me but didn't struggle to hang out with other people without a problem and brag about his "awesome day" on social media. I finally got sick of it, I moved in and met someone else a month later and the jerk tried to come back to see if I was still into him lmaoo. I kindly rejected him and never looked back.
I do agree everyone needs distance and space. It’s healthy to have your own goals and social circle outside of the person you’re interested in. But the right person will feel easy, natural and you wouldn’t feel like you’re playing a bunch of mind games
If the chase is truly necessary, then once they’re with you, they’ll miss the chase. It’s definitely important to get to learn the type or amount of alone time people need. Everyone is different. I do agree that not being needy, or having unnecessary expectations while in the dating phase helps everyone involved. If I have to not be around him for him to love me, he sounds like the wrong one.
Yes...just imagine situation... She knows THIS psychology, and HE KNOWS this psychology. So, she is making a DISTANCE, HE is making a DISTANCE. So, they will REMAIN in distance. So, total BS. Just a a game of manipulation. Enjoy your manipulation. You will EXPERIENCE it TOO, Cheers!
Exactly, he doesn't write because waiting me to do it. I don't write to him because waiting he to do it. No one writes, there's silence. But ...he screwed it up that is why he has to do it.
Forget this space, distance crap! A man either wants you or doesn't want you! Believe me my sisters from other mothers you will know which is which! I learnt this the hard way & now my boyfriend of 2 years would even gladly take me with him to work if he could! If he doesn't talk to you every day or you are always the one reaching out! Walk away there is a man out there who would gladly treat you like a Lady!!
Be whoever you want to be in love. If you have a healthy level of attachment and always want to be with your partner, the right partner for you won’t mind that. If you HAVE to change that aspect of yourself, that person isn’t right for you babe.
2:25 “A man falls in love with the image he Has formed in his mind of a woman.” -- And men always say that women lived in the fantasy land. They themselves do too.
I believe that it is in man’s nature to want to chase and do nice things for women. But I also believe that if your spending time together and he needs space that’s important to each person. But if you got to know this person, and their heart doesn’t seem in the relationship then it’s best to let them go. Don’t spend your time trying to cater to his needs, when your the main Character!
THATS WHY YOU STAND UP IN LOVE AND NOT FALL IN LOVE. Falling in love does what exactly to anyone, create a fantasy about the individual that 90% of the time doesn't exist, standing up in love means your mind s open to whoever this person is, if they are way too negative and toxic, you have no problem leaving. if they are positive and have a mix of negative, you have no problem staying and working things out. People should wake up from the social construct of thinking love is this hard quest when its really not, its a verb. if a man is looking for the love of his life, there are things he will put aside such as the sex crazed fantasy, the physical beauty and start looking at how caring and respectful she is. a woman looking for a husband is seeking a protector and provider who cares for her, nothing more. The lust in humans have consumed them thus making relationship seem like an uphill battle of finding a partner. A person who doesn't show any affection and claim to be scared to love is a person who should be left alone, they aren't ready for the real world where relationship is concern, but they will go around a steering wheel, knowing one bad driving is between life and death for them, so they subconsciously picking the risk they are willing to take with their life. Those persons need to be alone and stop wasting your time with a man who isn't planning for both of you or is planning but doesn't respect you, how far will that go when there is no respect between you, yet he is spending time planning. A man who is willing to learn how to respect, protect and provide for a woman is a keeper.
This video is all wrong, you attract unhealthy men and narcissist with these instructions. Only narcissist "fall in love" with the idea, a snapshot he has created of you. Healthy men know love takes time and proximity -not distance- with a person to truly fall in love. Men who love you when you're distant don't really love you, they're just obsessed with the mystery and as soon as that mystery is familiar they bail chasing another distant toy. Choose healthy men, the ones who want to know you, all of you, and accept you for who you truly are.
Sorry to tell you this but you need to read the Book "The New Rules" by Fein and Schneider. You have to give them space or they lose interest and get bored. It's just how it is. They need time and space to miss you. They take you for granted if you are always available.
My final thoughts scarcity mindset will yield this type of men. Men who know their worth and that what they want in their life is coming will not be moved by this action. Only those who have scarcity mindset will be vulnerable to this. Its weakness at best. Not life
🤭 This distance and silence bullshit will actually make you lose serious people. Give distance consciously by saying lets take a 1month break to process, not ghosting and ignoring someone who is trying to maintain their connection with you. As humans we are so fidgety with our emotions as we evolve and space is good for evaluating your actions. Instead of dismissing somone, dig deeper into understanding the source of conflict so that you can best resolve it and mend your relationship if you value the person in your life. The relationship is the prize at the end of the day
Um 😐 This channel is to advise women. She’s at no point said break up for a month. The intelligent women listening know she means stop contacting him constantly. And give him some breathing room. I have been married more than 20 years- being soft and giving space is extremely effective.
An emotionally healthy man is not going to play games with a woman he wants. If a man is playing emotional games being hot and cold he is entertaining his option or he’s not into the woman.
This is not correct, when a man loves you he wants you by his side and he will tell you things with no games. A man will have compassion for his women he doesn’t want her to be hurt! He will want to protect her.
A guy either wants to get to know me or he doesn't and if he does and we click and it's been several months of dating then I like to know where things are heading. He either wants me or he doesn't. I'm not into all this playing hard to get games.
Sounds exhausting. If I have to play these kinds of games, something in the relationship isn't right. It's understandable to want space but if you need it because someone is pushing away and you want it to reel them back in, that doesn't feel right. It takes time to know and build a connection with someone and that is unlikely to happen if that time is sporadic small moments
A Positive side to it is that if you both feel more peaceful and comfortable giving eachother distance and space for whatever intervals of time. And when you are together ( for whatever amount of time) if you feel same or growing love, peace and happiness. It indicates that you both are meant to be together.
I'd differentiate between infatuation and love, "love" is too strong of a word to describe the initial attraction people feel to someone who they don't really know yet or haven't even talked to, because they only like the fantasy person they've created in their mind that just looks like the person they're crushing on. I personally like to call "love" a bond between two people who admire and accept each other for who they truly are.
This Video is high key beneficial for guys as well. Especially the guys who are having a hard time getting over a girl that isn’t interested in them, it’s good to realize that what your feeling for this girl is pretty much fake. You’re creating unnecessary mental hell for yourself because as soon as another girl comes along and you’ll forget about the previous girl, you’ll have another phantom you’ll want to live out. And whatever you’re caught up on currently, whether you think that the girl you like has a cool personality or her looks captivate you, always know that if it weren’t for you to lay eyes on her, it would’ve been someone else in her place that you would’ve had a fantasy about. So stop the Fomo and stop allowing your phantoms to get out of hand because they’re fake. Be happy getting on with your life!
I’m married and don’t speak to my husband whole day till he calls me once he leaves work !!!! He wonders what I did all day ( home maker ) I don’t reveal too much . Maintain the mystery
I noticed my former partner takes me for granted once we’ve spent a lot of time together. When we break up I turn into a goddess in his head. He’s like clay, easily shaped, during that period. It’s just challenging to keep up the HV ways because he’s needy when im leaning back so I give in and he pulls away again.
@@allaboardthegravytrain5987 i am avoidant also but I’m working through it. Depending on his age and relationship patterns , I’d say when you’re ready and willing, consider letting him go as an option.
He is not confident about you being the right person for him long term. He comes back to satisfy his ego through convenient sex. This keeps you stagnated. Don't waste your best years on him, he will eventually leave you for whatever better option he is holding out for. You will need to be the one to end the relationship because he will continue to waste your time for as long as you allow him to. You will look back at this as wasted youth, wasted energy, and intentional deprivation of love, affection, and intimacy. Move on and find someone who is sure about you being the one for him to cherish. Take care. ♥️
Run. He will drain the life out of you. He is not stable and trustworthy and compromizing your sanity, health. He is probably to bussy with his own self and is disregarding you. He is willing to lose you by behaving this way. Not a good sign.
As I approach half a century of life it is still a struggle and challenge for me to figure out the roller coaster of womens' emotions. Only recently from a recent dating relationship did I learn about Push-Pull dynamics and Hot/Cold dynamics and about Avoidant-Attachment styles. As a man it is very frustrating and painful to deal with these dynamics.
They want to know if your still there an if your door is open still once they got you they stop its not always about them wanting space these kind of men care more about options an freedom.
I'm starting to believe women are supposed to vet the men they're least attracted to. Because I feel like the more physically attracted you are to a man, leads to infatuation & leads to chasing on the woman's part
I need me time, space to do things, coping life. Otherwize i destabize from life that is hard to cope with in its all facets. But i would allways say clearly why i need space and me time and why it is important to me to recharge, so he or she feels safe and secure. Playing games, pulling and pushing away are very dangerous and a shure ticket to disaster. Be eachothers best friend and if your mindset is not in that space leave inmediately the scene at the first sign.
The first part of the video was so interesting. I felt exactly this- the last person I dated created this whole fantasy about me without getting to know me. I actually got totally freaked out by this! How does a woman deal w this? I guess I will know for next time
That applies to kids men who want to play. Do Not fall for this video. Unless you want a toxic relationship. Just move on if you need to follow her advice to keep the guy
I have this guy now who's doing eveything to get my attention....but he really scared me off and I became aloof and distant. He sensed that something was off because I stopped talking to him and I would wave at him and basically put physical distance between us. I had to get my emotions under control because I'm scared of falling in love and getting hurt. He's patient and is putting in the effort to keep in touch with me.
It's ok to be scared, falling In love is scary, make sure you focus on your career or school first. If you are set up make sure that person is set up because it's good that both of you have goals in life and work out then you won't have anything to fear because you both will be busy staying focused and giving each other free time. Take this advice from someone who had many failures.
@@Trysaratop Thabks Sara I needed to hear that. Yes we're both busy working in different areas. So hopefully I'll calm myself down so we can take things slowly to get to know one another!
Your videos are amazing! I've been in a relationship with a man since i was 17 (23 now) and he really is a high value man: he comes from a loveing family, career driven, natural provider, masculine & tall but also very empatic and caring!! The list goes on & on.. Anyways, i would love grow old with him which means i have to keep building and working on our relationship . Do you perhaps have any tips how to maintain a relationship with a high value man?
Never take things for granted. Have his back. Do nice things together every month or week. Date eachother. Be glad to see him, comming into the door. Flirt with your man. Look with love in your eyes. Cook ones in a while his favorite dish. Plan together things. Never use faul language. Buy the books from John Gottman. This books are so important and his insights to not ruin relationships.
When someone disappears or acts flaky doesn’t return phone calls texts etc. if it’s continuous I evaluate the totality of the evidence and I exit them out of my life Like someone else said by the time they come back and they usually do ,it may takes weeks months or longer I am angry and I have totally gotten over them and I realize I did NOT need them or like them as much as I thought I did
A man is a hunter. He is interested in the dating game. Unfortunately, men are not interested in deeply in love and passionate women. They then feel trapped. And you really need to give them space, take care of yourself, your affairs, your life, meetings with girlfriends, etc., and not wait by the phone for his next text message. That's when the hunter game comes into play. A man becomes interested and plays already by your rules)
My Spanish uncle did never chace a woman. Many women wanted to date him, but he was not interrested. He only saw 1 woman once he was really interrested in and courted her to know her. She agreed. He wanted to start a family in his early 20's and knew exactly what he wanted in a woman and in life. He knew that she was different than other women. She was decent, serious, a hard worker, decent dressed and not revealing the body like we see now everywhere on women. Never sweared or using faul language. He knew she would be a decent mother with values, morals, high standard. She was youngrr still going to school and said to him... First i want to fullfil my studies then work and after that i would like to marry. No sex before being married. He respected all her boundaries and courted for 8 years! She also said, if she discovers during this period he dates other women or has sex with, she will end the courtship and move on without him. He respected that 100% He only saw HER as the future mother of his children and wife. He wanted a stable household for the children so they can live and study in school in peace to succeed the studies and work later on in good jobs. The children had to study and where prohibited to go dancing, drinking alcohol, having sex without marriage first, where supervised and where not allowed to do foolish things. Both where on the same page on this all. Both hard workers and she stayed home for a while to raise the children until the children where in their teens, so she started a part time job at a lawjers office. My uncle is a very serious man and was never interrested in chasing as a hunter, to get laid or play hot and cold or whatever stupidity. He did not see the point to waste his years and went right away looking for a decent woman and intelligent, capable woman to be a mother and capable of doing all the chores and work. She was stable and had the right mindset. He also did not like women who where partying, drinking alcohol, using cigarettes, using faul language, to ordinare women, women with low standarts, morals and behavior that is unsustainable and used his head when choosing a woman. He would never break the family unit or go to women, destroying marriage and household. He knew also she would never acceot such behavior. If she would of behaved nasty, look at men, going out to party or would of been someone not virgin, he would never of married her. He thought...if a woman had sex allready in that age without being married, she must be a player, not serious, weak, a man lover, not that serious and stupid in general with low intelligence, no values, morals, ethucs and low standards, so he would of stopped courting her. He never wanted a woman like that and mother of his children. Still married. Kids all studied and have good job and good marriages themselves, are themselves both serious also. They are in their 80's now.
This will be infatuation. Not love. He’ll never love you because he’ll never get to know you on a deeper and consistent level. If you’re into that then you can create a dynamic where you’re never satisfied and he gets to chase you. Is it really worth it?
This women never stay. The distance, pull and push will make her insecure and scared. A scared and insecure woman will deteriorate and she will at the end protect her sanity and leave. Never play games to make a woman insecure. It is unrespectful and stupid to do. Both of you lose everytime. Never see how far you can go with playing, manipulating. A woman feels this bad vibes. When she feels you are using this tricks, she will have negative emotions.
Babe maybe u gave him space for sure physically but not from your mind inside you alwas thinking about him and had put him on pedestal ?…sorry for my bad English
@@onlypositivevines4498 i thought about him here and there . It could that but putting him on the pedastal i didn't but he knew or felt i loved him. Anyways it's over and off to fresh start.
He did this to find space, because he did not want to be with you totally all in. He was not shure, or not ready, or not really interrested and wanted still his freedom to evaluate the relationship. Men want sometimes time for themselves, but will do that in both's interrest without making you insecure.
Could this be why the man I’m dating keeps a distance between us because he knows it drives me wild😭 maybe for men it works better because I be all up in my feelings about it. Wondering…..I do notice that when I distant myself from him he comes in full force with I miss you’s
He is a narcissist and playes with you, seeing how far he can mess with you. To see where you boundaries are and selfrespect lays. This do often narcissists. They do not change. See Dr. Ramani Durvasula on narcissists, psychopaths and so on. See Prof Sam Vaknin. Maybe those help you. Also> R.C. Blakes. Tony Gaskins.
Well, true indeed. How we, the awakened man’s and imagination are fixed upon his life purpose, calling, and business. He is able to bee present and leave all interactions for when they’re both present. He doesn’t engage in idle mindedness or daydreaming about the new woman. He’s confident that he will allow her to reveal herself as they interact physically. The uninitiated man spends his precious in imaginative acts towards a woman for which he life will reap no compensation. This is the man whose mind is available to wander and Ian aging about a woman. This is the man whose mind is so feeble as to believe in love and spends his precious time imagining and conjuring up images of a perfect woman, who doesn’t exist.
They chase when you are distant because either they feel they lost control or because they actually had feeling their punk ass never expressed n now its too late. Just be honest n no one will have problems. I never chased. Women are tired of the games just make your intentions known n stop wasting peoples damn time.
Well, mine didn’t, I took my distance and he was scared that I hated him so never reached, but once I talked to him again he said he was “relieved” and started to appreciate me more... 😐😐😐
Thanks dear 😘 I have him on social media, I added him and he added me back.. our eyes met before but we've never talked... I think he's crushing on me.. I'm just gonna let him pursue 🤭
This channel is the greatest discovery ever. You explain it just the way it is and I understand it completely. Thank you SO much, you have no idea the service you are providing!!! May these words find you.
This is an informative video about relationships, men like to chase after someone they think it’s not easy to get. They don’t like people who are too available.
A serious man does not value games, not even chasing. He looks intentionally for a future wife and mother of his children. A serious man knows time is money and does not waste time on the chace, hot/cold. He wants a partner for life to have a ballanced secure life, so he can focus on its job, career... He knows a good woman is necessary to have a stable household and a serious woman who is capable to manage on her own a household and life. He wants quality not quantity.
I believe these games work on insecure attachment styles.. and honestly I just want a connection with someone secure 🤦🏻♀️ how is this even genuine love?
On a certain level, we have a Love store in our brain, the neurochemicals that show up in flow: so dopamine, norepinephrine, anandamide, endorphins, and serotonin. If you were to try to cocktail the street Love version of that, right, you're trying to blend like heroin and speed and coke and acid and weed- and point is, you can't do it. It turns out the brain can cocktail all of 'em at once, which is why people will prefer flow to almost any experience on Earth. It's our favorite experience. It's the most addictive experience on Earth. Why? 'Cause it cocktails five or six of the largest pleasure drugs the brain can produce. We're all capable of so much more than we know. That is a commonality across the board. And one of the big reasons is we're all hardwired for flow, and flow is a massive amplification of what's possible for ourselves.
Really wish that it was seriously taught how important the balance of connecting with the person and staying a healthy amount of distance with that person to be able to obtain a healthy relationship I wish that we were taught that very young I pray that we start to teach our young people this because if you apply this to your relationships you would have a lot better relationships results.
Thank you for this explanation, this was really helpful to me - I guess I sometimes get too clingy. Its a bit hard with the guy I'm dating bc I know he's struggling mentally at times and I really DO worry. But I also knows he wants space then, so I try and give it to him. I guess I need to find more to occupy myself with and do like you said in another video, not text for like 5 days (I did wait a couple days between the last messages). And if he does not answer then I'll consider it ghosting regardless of why. Because he knows I'm more than willing to give him space; and atm we even live in separate cities. Also he had been nagging me for a few days, knowing I was busy. I guess I was stupid to give into his needs, as my "reward" was being ghosted since friday night/saturday morning. Next video will be interesting 😊
Lol you sound stupid this message in this video is bad be yourself and if you really like someone show that to them and work on being a better person rather than succumbing to childish games that will have you going in circles
A real man doesn't play the chasing games.. He knows what he really wants..
exactly
Exactly
Have you found a guy like that
🙌🏽 💯
I back this. Distancing yourself from me will heavily work against you. It tells me you're not interested, and I move on.
If this hurts your feelings...just remember that everyone is “perfect”in month one... if someone doesn’t find you amazing...you’re dating the wrong human.
No, I am a man not a woman, that doesn't hurt my feelings because I am not weak honey
Femincel 😂
I'm going to shower you with attention and my awareness. I'm going to give you a lot of my time. I'm going to be in physical proximity to you. I'm going to touch you, hold you, cuddle you. I'm going to try to connect with you physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. I'm going to take good care of you. I'm going to care about your needs. I'm going to help you to meet your needs. I'm going to help you to survive. I'm going to shelter you from excessive suffering, fear and trauma. I'm going to have your back. I'm going to defend you and be loyal to you. I'm going to take on your agenda as my own. I'm going to make you an extension of me. I'm going to treat you as well as i would treat myself. I'm going to be happy for you when you succeed. I'm going to want for you what you most want for yourself. I'm going to sacrifice for you and work on your behalf. I'm going to support you nurture you and encourage you. I'm going to cheerlead you. I'm going to encourage your self-exploration, self-expression and self-actualization. I'm going to respect your sovereignty as a consciousness. I'm not going to try to manipulate you, control you, dominate you or exploit you. I'm going to totally accept you and never judge you. I'm going to value you for your sake and appreciate you and see your intrinsic beauty. I'm not going to need anything from you and I'm not going to make you a tool to satisfy my own needs. I'm going to respect your point of view, wanting to understand your point of view, wanting to understand you, your uniqueness, taking the time to deeply get to know you. I'm not going to force my agenda or point of view on you. I'm going to listen to you and care about your interests and share similar interests with you. I'm going to develop togetherness with you and collaborate with you. I'm going to be there for you when you're down and hopeless. I'm going to be there for you when you're lonely. I'm going to validate your feelings, sharing your emotions with you, empathizing with you. Your pain is going to be my pain. I'm going to meet you where you're at, at your developmental level. I'm going to forgive you for your mistakes.
I'm going to be patient with you. I'm going to see the good in you even when you don't see the good in yourself. I'm going to be generous and kind. I'm going to give you verbal approval and praise. I'm going to compliment you on your uniqueness. I'm going to keep my promises to you. I'm going to keep my peace with you, avoid conflict with you. I'm going to tell the truth to you. You're going to be able to fully trust me and I'm never going to cash in on that trust. I'm going to see your realness, warts and shadow and all as you truly are. I'm going to deeply appreciate the finite portion of consciousness that you are and I'm going to accept your selfishness whenever you have the urge to be selfish. Now ask yourself on a scale of 0 to 10 how loved do you feel? Open Your Eyes. 😂🦘🦘🧨
@@dmtdreamz7706 amazing doesn’t ever mean perfect you wasted half an hour sounding smart and being a fool. Be blessed.
@@haridunic2351 woke terminology hurts the weak. I’m not sure what’s innately broken in your soul but I hope you heal it.
They chased you because their ego was lonely and was in demand of being stroked again. My advice is to keep moving on.
What I find the most ironic is the fact that most men COME BACK after giving them their "space", whilst women totally cool off and wanna move on by the time men figure out they do want to be a part of the relationship. Men wanna see what's out there and if they can find a better one, and when they DON'T they crawl right back
True
Always move on from crawl backers.
I dated a guy who was consistently inconsistent. He would start text convos only to disappear after asking a question. He told me flat out. He didn't want to talk to me all the time, and he was an active father. I said ok, and fell back. A month later, he is texting back right away and wanting to have full phone conversations....I had lost interest by that time. 🤷🏾♀️
Sometimes people are just very busy, I work full time, have my own business, play football 3 times a week to keep fit, am a father and I'm renovating a house. Yeh I may have taken a bit too much on pfff... But, I tried to date a girl recently, we were talking very regularly at first but I had to dial it back because I was losing focus on some of my responsibilities, so I had to save replying to her when I was not busy with being a father and making sure my employees were getting paid etc. Please don't take this as an emotional or angry response, just an explanation for some intermittent communication.
Sounds like your case may have been different, but I think sometimes people jump to conclusions about why people are not replying and because of all the games being encouraged on social media it's making people more paranoid about other's actions and motives.
@Tim Bob not taking it angry at all. I understand your position, in my opinion when your as busy as you are and dating is not a priority. As long as you informed the other person upfront, there shouldn't be a problem. Then she won't have expectations that you don't live up too. But I definitely get busy, I'm just saying communication, effective communication is imperative in these types of situations.
@@delorismartin3537 100%, I definitely made the mistake of trying too hard to make time right at the beginning of seeing the woman I mentioned, to the point that it was unsustainable and probably made me look like some kind of narcissistic love bomber. But yeh, communication is absolutely the most important thing in relationships, life, everything. You sound like you have your head screwed on well. Good luck to ya.
@Tim Bob thank you, 😊. I do as well, you seem very sweet and understanding and BUUSSYYY ..sir, lol but best wishes to you as well💜
@@delorismartin3537 Your comments are very kind... erm... Miss 😆. Same to you.
This is only IF the man is on the fence about you or is a player. Trust me, if a man sees potential on you and wants you, he’ll be all over you and want to see you all the time as soon as you meet. He will want to take you off the market because he sees something special that other men will see too
💯💯🔥
Best comment ever!
men just sound too complicated...im done...more peace of mind remaining single. I can't play their games.
Agreed!!!
Those are toxic men
I can relate. Just want to hold one long enough to have 1 more kid or 2 then I'm done. Live the rest of my life in peace.
Lol I said that 2yrs ago now am bored
Right!! That push and pull dynamic is draining😮💨
Nobody can fall in love with someone who is never around. Love comes from learning about a person and deciding whether or not they are the right one. If you ignore someone they will never get to know you and you will never get to know them. These day's high value means nothing. We need to find equal value.
I disagree some people get attached when your ebkr always there and others resend you when you're all up under them. I've heard pkenty of men say this. It's not about ignoring all the time it's about not being needy and giving healthy space while having your own life. No need to be needy and guy crazy and oversaturate yourself in his life.
@@SR77736 Exactly!
Men fall in love through absence .. it makes their imagination and desire for you run wild.
Amen correct
@@SR77736 the only men you’re hearing say that is not majority of men. Majority of men are single and lonely and invisible to the majority of women. The only men that you hear saying that are the players or the guys with alot of status in Highschool/college. Your average Joe guy that works at Wendy’s has never said that, and would probably love a women to be very close to him.
Reminder:
Don't tryna get over-obsessed with these love instruction videos like this, u could get misled. I used to and that ruined my last relationship
Exactly honestly overthinking these things gets overwhelming and it can easily make you lose yourself. I had the best relationship with my first love in undergrad because we were both real with one another. No games no push and pull nonsense, it was so easy and simple. That’s my kind of relationship, I don’t have have time and energy for the bs. The only thing was that I made it clear that I will walk away for any bs and he knew I was serious and that’s what made him act right. I didn’t have to act like a fever dream 😂
Yes not everyone the same different person different story so don’t apply this
Agreed, it all depends on the people and each scenario is different, only you truly know...
Yeah u r right
Exactly! I kinda played hard to get (unintentionally) and now I lost the chance to be with the love of my life
This works! I noticed when I’m needy men are repelled, when I disappear their egos are threatened by it and they come running!
We work together so everytime he see me,he start conversation but I ignore him
@@hildathamid7741 So your ignoring him because you like him and want him to chase you or do you ignore because you don't like him at all?
Lol…. Been with my fiancé for 7 years now. We are always together. Last weekend I got up and went for a really early breakfast by myself. I am just leaving the restaurant and he texts me “where are you?” And I told him, and he hits me with “why didn’t you wake me up, we could have gone together? 😢”
Every couple is different, and I much prefer having a relationship where we are down to hang whenever than having to worry about if I’m “around” too much. I’d honestly rather be single than have to think about that. We are going to breakfast together this weekend and I already know it will be even more fun because he is there. 😊
7 years is a long time to have a fiance
@@sweetcapricorn Maybe she meant they've knowing/dating each other for 7 years and he just recently became her fiancé. At least I hope so
You may have missed the point of what she’s saying. She said if you spend too much time IN THE WRONG STAGE of the relationship, then it may cause an issue. ....and course, there are always exceptions to the rule. But what she’s saying is tried and true. 💛
@@chocolatechunks07 okay. I respect your point of view. I do agree with it as well. That's why I stated "At least I hope so" I aware of that knowledge for sure👍
Exactly! Why be with someone if you have to play mind games for them to continue to love you
Yes! Ladies, this is also especially important when it comes to a man who genuinely doesn't want you or have any true intentions towards you. He will not chase you with distance. It won't work. A great way to ween out the time wasters.
F
Great point.
This is so true .. nd it doesnt matter also .. that person🙄🙄 to b frank ....zindagi game nhi h koi ... live ur own life .. have fun ..
True
A lot of men won’t chase simply because they don’t see the point in pursuing girls who feel like they have use distance to stir emotions. From their perspective unneeded distance is just screwing them around, or they’ll just think you’re not interested and won’t pursue because who would pursue someone who’s disinterested,
It’s almost like you’re playing a toxic game with someone who literally doesn’t value you. Why should you adhere to these mind games? Stay with someone who is genuine and makes you feel peaceful. Cuz life’s short .
Men don't chase, get insecure or wonder about you. Boys do. Silly games get you silly rewards, enjoy.
Best comment under this video. If someone is interested in you, he/she will always try to reach you and want to be you. If not, why bother. You just live once, use your lifetime preciously, respect your boundaries.
True
Fucking A right, great comment!
stg this channel is pushing garbage advice to keep ppl single
@Neha 💯
I think the same can be applied to friendships too. When you appear to be too needy for friends then people resent you. Whereas when you really stop caring about gaining other people’s approval they start running back to you . Isn’t it ironic?
thats so true i can confirm because ive been that person running back 💀
That’s not how I see my friendships. Usually I enjoy being alone majority of the time so for me if I want to be around you all the time, friends or romantic interests, that means I really like you and value you as a person.
I used to be that person 😆 but really after stop caring about what other thinks of you I actually got friend who is actually my type and it is better to have 1 good friend than group of fools .
@@BlackGirlLovesAnime6 it’s a same for me. It feels good knowing that there are other people that think like this too.
@@kimbley6451 lol I never knew this was strange 😂
How about just matching his energy? If he gives attention, give it too. If he pulls away, pull away too. If he invests, invest too, if he does not, then you don't either. If I need to distance myself from a man for him to see my value, it will not last. What do we do if married? He should just love my company or leave.
Exactly 💯...I think mirroring the energy is just good ...and you also get it have Ur own peace...amd not having to depend on him for ur happiness
I was with my ex for 9 years and he needed a lot of alone time and I understood it and now being single and not being needy works a lot. You just got to be comfortable and confident in yourself and if they leave let them.
I am like the same though I love my guy so much but I need space
9ys??? Woww he got sik off being together that he realise he needed space forever from you? Interesting... he needed lots of space... lots of space until he got all space in world. Great
This ‼️
Facts
This is why it's not a good idea to live with a man if you want to get married.
Yeah then you can find out they’re a pyscho after you are stuck with them
@@judyperri9496 or they just get comfortable and like the status quo
100%
Then you will see their true colors of any kind
Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Yeah, I used to be this way, but now I know that I ignored that he did everything to keep me as an option and these times are over. I am done with him. Only then they will respect you but sorry, not sorry, its too late. Life is good without him.
Absolutely , plenty more FISH IN THE SEA :•)))
The option game!
These applies both to men and women. I will explain it in simple terms. It's called taking my energy back and focusing on my self, you are not feeding them energetically anymore so you become more attractive. That's it.
Problem arises if both partners are ' woke'. That can be the end of a relationship
@@melmel7011 If both are woke and healthy I guess no hunting games take place. They either know that they are made for each other or that they re not. If there is pride in asking for forgiveness or there is difficulty in accepting an apology because of egoism then healing has to take place on either side before the union.
That is so true when you stop caring is when you kill thier ego!
@@valenciastarkey7240 yes, you kill the relationship.
But what kind of men are you going to get by doing all of this? The kind of men who want the unattainable, hottest, most mysterious woman who, as we all know, is just a figment of their imagination. No real, authentic connection comes from all these games and tactics. Just be yourself and relax, that's the only rule you need to follow. someone who is a yin to your yang will come along, not a line of idiots for whom you are just a prompt for imagination. Because imagination cannot sustain a relationship, eventually he's going to have to know YOU. And then this kind of guy will get bored and go on to chase another mysterious woman who's sparked his imagination. If you wanna play that game, go ahead, I'm not judging you, it can even be fun. But I doubt most people watching this video do.
1000% i love this me and you on same page
you are so right
That´s just not reality for the majority. Men and women play games in dating - not when in a relationship but certainly in the initial stages otherwise you run the risc of pushing the other away if you come on too strong
@@misspeacelove7395 rather push away, the people who are supposed to stay and know what they want aren't pushed away by a strong personality of someone who demands one to decide, commit ,resolve or nothing
@@misspeacelove7395 I agree with you
They will not care if they are entertaining someone else .
He ghosted me for months.. went deactivated in FB and I heard he is enjoying his life.. hanging out with people.. but I didn't chase him.. I acted normal..
Now he is back and notice that I am no longer into him.. something has changed. 🤣 He seem to be curious now if I am still single as I am already dating other guy. Too bad he played games with me.
same thing that happen to me before i chase him but i realize i need to distance myself to him now hes chasing me but im careful now not to get hurt
Same thing happened to me. I really liked him and was so hurt when he led me on then ghosted me but kept reappearing in my fb messenger and playing head games with me. Always had an excuse why he couldn't see me but didn't struggle to hang out with other people without a problem and brag about his "awesome day" on social media. I finally got sick of it, I moved in and met someone else a month later and the jerk tried to come back to see if I was still into him lmaoo. I kindly rejected him and never looked back.
No contact works. Create distance
Make him value you more ❤
Completely
@@Positivity_bringsLove block him. I did 4 months later he found a way.
I do agree everyone needs distance and space. It’s healthy to have your own goals and social circle outside of the person you’re interested in. But the right person will feel easy, natural and you wouldn’t feel like you’re playing a bunch of mind games
If the chase is truly necessary, then once they’re with you, they’ll miss the chase.
It’s definitely important to get to learn the type or amount of alone time people need. Everyone is different. I do agree that not being needy, or having unnecessary expectations while in the dating phase helps everyone involved.
If I have to not be around him for him to love me, he sounds like the wrong one.
This is how you kill connections. Games like these are the reason the dating sphere is so fucked up for everyone, its immature and wrong.
💯
For sure too bad this isn’t the most liked comment and most of the idiot viewers are eating this bs up and applauding it
Excellent. True. Ladies, learn to give him space more than he wants. Experience has shown that it rekindles the love, except he wasn't really for u.
I gave him space and he cheated instead of wondering about me 😌. I'm gonna practice being high value women but it hurts alot.
Every woman has high value..u just dont realize ur value because u dont value ur self before. May be by choosing a man who dont value u.
He actually did you a favor, showing who he is. So you can move on quickly
Being a high value women, you mean a virgin, submissive, peaceful women?
the toxic men can still want hurt and pheen for u while sleeping with her
He was already cheating. Don’t beat yourself up about it. If a man is really interested he will be present no space needed! 😊
From my experience as a man, just a guy, when I'm really into a girl I don't want space. But sometimes I don't want to appear too into her or needy.
Facts I got a toxic trait
What do you do in the cases where you don’t want to appear too into her?
I assert that this channel is like a compassionate friend walking us through a relationship’s struggles. 😁♥️Thanks a lot.
I concur! ☺️
@@beccawhite1887 ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Yes...just imagine situation... She knows THIS psychology, and HE KNOWS this psychology.
So, she is making a DISTANCE, HE is making a DISTANCE. So, they will REMAIN in distance. So, total BS. Just a a game of manipulation. Enjoy your manipulation. You will EXPERIENCE it TOO,
Cheers!
Exactly, he doesn't write because waiting me to do it. I don't write to him because waiting he to do it. No one writes, there's silence. But ...he screwed it up that is why he has to do it.
Forget this space, distance crap! A man either wants you or doesn't want you! Believe me my sisters from other mothers you will know which is which! I learnt this the hard way & now my boyfriend of 2 years would even gladly take me with him to work if he could!
If he doesn't talk to you every day or you are always the one reaching out! Walk away there is a man out there who would gladly treat you like a Lady!!
I tend to be like out of sight, out of mind for the most part. If I don’t see a guy for a while, I start to get over it.
Be whoever you want to be in love. If you have a healthy level of attachment and always want to be with your partner, the right partner for you won’t mind that. If you HAVE to change that aspect of yourself, that person isn’t right for you babe.
2:25 “A man falls in love with the image he Has formed in his mind of a woman.” -- And men always say that women lived in the fantasy land. They themselves do too.
I believe that it is in man’s nature to want to chase and do nice things for women. But I also believe that if your spending time together and he needs space that’s important to each person. But if you got to know this person, and their heart doesn’t seem in the relationship then it’s best to let them go. Don’t spend your time trying to cater to his needs, when your the main Character!
THATS WHY YOU STAND UP IN LOVE AND NOT FALL IN LOVE. Falling in love does what exactly to anyone, create a fantasy about the individual that 90% of the time doesn't exist, standing up in love means your mind s open to whoever this person is, if they are way too negative and toxic, you have no problem leaving. if they are positive and have a mix of negative, you have no problem staying and working things out. People should wake up from the social construct of thinking love is this hard quest when its really not, its a verb. if a man is looking for the love of his life, there are things he will put aside such as the sex crazed fantasy, the physical beauty and start looking at how caring and respectful she is. a woman looking for a husband is seeking a protector and provider who cares for her, nothing more. The lust in humans have consumed them thus making relationship seem like an uphill battle of finding a partner. A person who doesn't show any affection and claim to be scared to love is a person who should be left alone, they aren't ready for the real world where relationship is concern, but they will go around a steering wheel, knowing one bad driving is between life and death for them, so they subconsciously picking the risk they are willing to take with their life. Those persons need to be alone and stop wasting your time with a man who isn't planning for both of you or is planning but doesn't respect you, how far will that go when there is no respect between you, yet he is spending time planning. A man who is willing to learn how to respect, protect and provide for a woman is a keeper.
This video is all wrong, you attract unhealthy men and narcissist with these instructions. Only narcissist "fall in love" with the idea, a snapshot he has created of you. Healthy men know love takes time and proximity -not distance- with a person to truly fall in love. Men who love you when you're distant don't really love you, they're just obsessed with the mystery and as soon as that mystery is familiar they bail chasing another distant toy. Choose healthy men, the ones who want to know you, all of you, and accept you for who you truly are.
Sorry to tell you this but you need to read the Book "The New Rules" by Fein and Schneider. You have to give them space or they lose interest and get bored. It's just how it is. They need time and space to miss you. They take you for granted if you are always available.
So true. Also, if you have to get a man to chase you while dating, imagine the work necessary to keep him chasing during marriage! What a mess!
Amen V D.... Its exhausting following this. One should love and accept you as you are.... Trying this which i have messes us up
@@vhayashi7369 yes, space is necessary. It's crucial actually. But I never waste my time with a man who is into chasing illusions.
Totally agree my babe wants to be around LS me every day it makes no difference we just can’t because we have work
I say it every time, this channel is pure GOLD
I appreciate all this knowledge you share with us! ❤️ Thank you, love
Thanks Gisela. Really appreciate your support ❤️.
My final thoughts scarcity mindset will yield this type of men. Men who know their worth and that what they want in their life is coming will not be moved by this action. Only those who have scarcity mindset will be vulnerable to this. Its weakness at best. Not life
🤭 This distance and silence bullshit will actually make you lose serious people. Give distance consciously by saying lets take a 1month break to process, not ghosting and ignoring someone who is trying to maintain their connection with you. As humans we are so fidgety with our emotions as we evolve and space is good for evaluating your actions. Instead of dismissing somone, dig deeper into understanding the source of conflict so that you can best resolve it and mend your relationship if you value the person in your life. The relationship is the prize at the end of the day
Um 😐
This channel is to advise women. She’s at no point said break up for a month. The intelligent women listening know she means stop contacting him constantly. And give him some breathing room.
I have been married more than 20 years- being soft and giving space is extremely effective.
Sounds like a hurt person
Who's this person?? Try understanding first before writing a comment.
An emotionally healthy man is not going to play games with a woman he wants. If a man is playing emotional games being hot and cold he is entertaining his option or he’s not into the woman.
This is not correct, when a man loves you he wants you by his side and he will tell you things with no games. A man will have compassion for his women he doesn’t want her to be hurt! He will want to protect her.
A guy either wants to get to know me or he doesn't and if he does and we click and it's been several months of dating then I like to know where things are heading. He either wants me or he doesn't. I'm not into all this playing hard to get games.
Sounds exhausting. If I have to play these kinds of games, something in the relationship isn't right. It's understandable to want space but if you need it because someone is pushing away and you want it to reel them back in, that doesn't feel right. It takes time to know and build a connection with someone and that is unlikely to happen if that time is sporadic small moments
A Positive side to it is that if you both feel more peaceful and comfortable giving eachother distance and space for whatever intervals of time. And when you are together ( for whatever amount of time) if you feel same or growing love, peace and happiness. It indicates that you both are meant to be together.
I tried this for 3 months. But he did not give an f. He was happy alone.
I'd differentiate between infatuation and love, "love" is too strong of a word to describe the initial attraction people feel to someone who they don't really know yet or haven't even talked to, because they only like the fantasy person they've created in their mind that just looks like the person they're crushing on. I personally like to call "love" a bond between two people who admire and accept each other for who they truly are.
True falling in love is falling in love with who they are, not the imagination of who you want them to be
I heard narcissists do this or very innexperienced people.
This is it. I think I found the *best* channel in UA-cam ❤❤❤❤😊
This Video is high key beneficial for guys as well. Especially the guys who are having a hard time getting over a girl that isn’t interested in them, it’s good to realize that what your feeling for this girl is pretty much fake. You’re creating unnecessary mental hell for yourself because as soon as another girl comes along and you’ll forget about the previous girl, you’ll have another phantom you’ll want to live out. And whatever you’re caught up on currently, whether you think that the girl you like has a cool personality or her looks captivate you, always know that if it weren’t for you to lay eyes on her, it would’ve been someone else in her place that you would’ve had a fantasy about.
So stop the Fomo and stop allowing your phantoms to get out of hand because they’re fake. Be happy getting on with your life!
Love this, thanks for it
Thanks , needed this !!
I’m married and don’t speak to my husband whole day till he calls me once he leaves work !!!! He wonders what I did all day ( home maker ) I don’t reveal too much . Maintain the mystery
This works, gave him Space and now he is trying to re-connect. Only I am done now and don’t want him back anymore.
I noticed my former partner takes me for granted once we’ve spent a lot of time together. When we break up I turn into a goddess in his head. He’s like clay, easily shaped, during that period. It’s just challenging to keep up the HV ways because he’s needy when im leaning back so I give in and he pulls away again.
Read attachment theory and it might help you understand why he does that. He might be anxious . Hope that helps !
@@THATGIRL0121 he is dismissive avoidant attachment
@@allaboardthegravytrain5987 i am avoidant also but I’m working through it. Depending on his age and relationship patterns , I’d say when you’re ready and willing, consider letting him go as an option.
He is not confident about you being the right person for him long term. He comes back to satisfy his ego through convenient sex. This keeps you stagnated. Don't waste your best years on him, he will eventually leave you for whatever better option he is holding out for. You will need to be the one to end the relationship because he will continue to waste your time for as long as you allow him to. You will look back at this as wasted youth, wasted energy, and intentional deprivation of love, affection, and intimacy. Move on and find someone who is sure about you being the one for him to cherish. Take care. ♥️
Run.
He will drain the life out of you.
He is not stable and trustworthy and compromizing your sanity, health.
He is probably to bussy with his own self and is disregarding you.
He is willing to lose you by behaving this way.
Not a good sign.
Your videos are very realistic, very assertive and really helps a lot! Thank you so much
Thanks Claudia.
As I approach half a century of life it is still a struggle and challenge for me to figure out the roller coaster of womens' emotions. Only recently from a recent dating relationship did I learn about Push-Pull dynamics and Hot/Cold dynamics and about Avoidant-Attachment styles. As a man it is very frustrating and painful to deal with these dynamics.
It’s simple. You removed your energy and people can feel that energetic shift.
They want to know if your still there an if your door is open still once they got you they stop its not always about them wanting space these kind of men care more about options an freedom.
Only the guys you don't like chase you when you're distant
I'm starting to believe women are supposed to vet the men they're least attracted to. Because I feel like the more physically attracted you are to a man, leads to infatuation & leads to chasing on the woman's part
Why do some men do that?
Which inner thoughts and motivation leads them to do what theu do in your explanation?
Greetings from Belgium🇧🇪
I need me time, space to do things, coping life.
Otherwize i destabize from life that is hard to cope with in its all facets.
But i would allways say clearly why i need space and me time and why it is important to me to recharge, so he or she feels safe and secure.
Playing games, pulling and pushing away are very dangerous and a shure ticket to disaster.
Be eachothers best friend and if your mindset is not in that space leave inmediately the scene at the first sign.
The first part of the video was so interesting. I felt exactly this- the last person I dated created this whole fantasy about me without getting to know me. I actually got totally freaked out by this! How does a woman deal w this? I guess I will know for next time
Run. This is the type of man who will "mold" you into his fantasy instead of liking/loving you for who you are. Not worth it
Love this video the comments disagree but most most most men will relate to this
People look different once you get to know them. Could be for the better or worse.
That applies to kids men who want to play. Do Not fall for this video. Unless you want a toxic relationship. Just move on if you need to follow her advice to keep the guy
I distance myself from anyone ( men/women) if I discerned their wrong motives or wrong intentions and bad behaviors.
I have this guy now who's doing eveything to get my attention....but he really scared me off and I became aloof and distant. He sensed that something was off because I stopped talking to him and I would wave at him and basically put physical distance between us. I had to get my emotions under control because I'm scared of falling in love and getting hurt. He's patient and is putting in the effort to keep in touch with me.
It's ok to be scared, falling In love is scary, make sure you focus on your career or school first. If you are set up make sure that person is set up because it's good that both of you have goals in life and work out then you won't have anything to fear because you both will be busy staying focused and giving each other free time. Take this advice from someone who had many failures.
@@Trysaratop Thabks Sara I needed to hear that. Yes we're both busy working in different areas. So hopefully I'll calm myself down so we can take things slowly to get to know one another!
Keep being distant, so he can move to another one.
@@charlieromeu5748 I think he already has. 🤔
I LOVE THIS VIDEO! Finally distance from men explained
Glad you find it helpful!
Your videos are amazing! I've been in a relationship with a man since i was 17 (23 now) and he really is a high value man: he comes from a loveing family, career driven, natural provider, masculine & tall but also very empatic and caring!! The list goes on & on..
Anyways, i would love grow old with him which means i have to keep building and working on our relationship . Do you perhaps have any tips how to maintain a relationship with a high value man?
Decide what you can offer to the table and channel your high vibe woman energy!
Never take things for granted.
Have his back.
Do nice things together every month or week.
Date eachother.
Be glad to see him, comming into the door.
Flirt with your man.
Look with love in your eyes.
Cook ones in a while his favorite dish.
Plan together things.
Never use faul language.
Buy the books from John Gottman.
This books are so important and his insights to not ruin relationships.
When someone disappears or acts flaky doesn’t return phone calls texts etc. if it’s continuous I evaluate the totality of the evidence and I exit them out of my life
Like someone else said by the time they come back and they usually do ,it may takes weeks months or longer I am angry and I have totally gotten over them and I realize I did NOT need them or like them as much as I thought I did
A man is a hunter. He is interested in the dating game. Unfortunately, men are not interested in deeply in love and passionate women. They then feel trapped. And you really need to give them space, take care of yourself, your affairs, your life, meetings with girlfriends, etc., and not wait by the phone for his next text message. That's when the hunter game comes into play. A man becomes interested and plays already by your rules)
Affairs? Maybe you're the problem, lmao. Skanky women will be skanks.
Real men don't play games ; boys do
My Spanish uncle did never chace a woman. Many women wanted to date him, but he was not interrested.
He only saw 1 woman once he was really interrested in and courted her to know her. She agreed.
He wanted to start a family in his early 20's and knew exactly what he wanted in a woman and in life. He knew that she was different than other women.
She was decent, serious, a hard worker, decent dressed and not revealing the body like we see now everywhere on women.
Never sweared or using faul language.
He knew she would be a decent mother with values, morals, high standard.
She was youngrr still going to school and said to him...
First i want to fullfil my studies then work and after that i would like to marry. No sex before being married.
He respected all her boundaries and courted for 8 years!
She also said, if she discovers during this period he dates other women or has sex with, she will end the courtship and move on without him.
He respected that 100%
He only saw HER as the future mother of his children and wife.
He wanted a stable household for the children so they can live and study in school in peace to succeed the studies and work later on in good jobs.
The children had to study and where prohibited to go dancing, drinking alcohol, having sex without marriage first, where supervised and where not allowed to do foolish things. Both where on the same page on this all.
Both hard workers and she stayed home for a while to raise the children until the children where in their teens, so she started a part time job at a lawjers office.
My uncle is a very serious man and was never interrested in chasing as a hunter, to get laid or play hot and cold or whatever stupidity.
He did not see the point to waste his years and went right away looking for a decent woman and intelligent, capable woman to be a mother and capable of doing all the chores and work.
She was stable and had the right mindset.
He also did not like women who where partying, drinking alcohol, using cigarettes, using faul language, to ordinare women, women with low standarts, morals and behavior that is unsustainable and used his head when choosing a woman.
He would never break the family unit or go to women, destroying marriage and household. He knew also she would never acceot such behavior.
If she would of behaved nasty, look at men, going out to party or would of been someone not virgin, he would never of married her.
He thought...if a woman had sex allready in that age without being married, she must be a player, not serious, weak, a man lover, not that serious and stupid in general with low intelligence, no values, morals, ethucs and low standards, so he would of stopped courting her.
He never wanted a woman like that and mother of his children.
Still married.
Kids all studied and have good job and good marriages themselves, are themselves both serious also.
They are in their 80's now.
But for me its the other way round... out of sight, out of mind...!!!!
Distance makes the heart grow fonder
This will be infatuation. Not love. He’ll never love you because he’ll never get to know you on a deeper and consistent level. If you’re into that then you can create a dynamic where you’re never satisfied and he gets to chase you. Is it really worth it?
Same can be said about women. If you make distance, she began to think about you and stick with you if you ignore her sometimes
This women never stay.
The distance, pull and push will make her insecure and scared.
A scared and insecure woman will deteriorate and she will at the end protect her sanity and leave.
Never play games to make a woman insecure. It is unrespectful and stupid to do.
Both of you lose everytime.
Never see how far you can go with playing, manipulating.
A woman feels this bad vibes.
When she feels you are using this tricks, she will have negative emotions.
Not too pressure, then he feels there still is some spaces...men must love that
i did most of these and he still left. We were in a full blown relationship
Babe maybe u gave him space for sure physically but not from your mind inside you alwas thinking about him and had put him on pedestal ?…sorry for my bad English
@@onlypositivevines4498 i thought about him here and there . It could that but putting him on the pedastal i didn't but he knew or felt i loved him. Anyways it's over and off to fresh start.
@@uzougwu1511 sure love yourself nd fuck the world and don’t look for men and see the magic 🥂😉….god bless u
He did this to find space, because he did not want to be with you totally all in. He was not shure, or not ready, or not really interrested and wanted still his freedom to evaluate the relationship.
Men want sometimes time for themselves, but will do that in both's interrest without making you insecure.
Thank you. Your videos always bring every thing to light.
That push and pull dynamic is too draining😮💨
Could this be why the man I’m dating keeps a distance between us because he knows it drives me wild😭 maybe for men it works better because I be all up in my feelings about it. Wondering…..I do notice that when I distant myself from him he comes in full force with I miss you’s
He is a narcissist and playes with you, seeing how far he can mess with you. To see where you boundaries are and selfrespect lays.
This do often narcissists.
They do not change.
See Dr. Ramani Durvasula on narcissists, psychopaths and so on.
See Prof Sam Vaknin.
Maybe those help you.
Also>
R.C. Blakes.
Tony Gaskins.
Well, true indeed. How we, the awakened man’s and imagination are fixed upon his life purpose, calling, and business. He is able to bee present and leave all interactions for when they’re both present. He doesn’t engage in idle mindedness or daydreaming about the new woman. He’s confident that he will allow her to reveal herself as they interact physically. The uninitiated man spends his precious in imaginative acts towards a woman for which he life will reap no compensation. This is the man whose mind is available to wander and Ian aging about a woman. This is the man whose mind is so feeble as to believe in love and spends his precious time imagining and conjuring up images of a perfect woman, who doesn’t exist.
Your Explanation of Distance as it relates to attraction was great
Thank you 💗
They chase when you are distant because either they feel they lost control or because they actually had feeling their punk ass never expressed n now its too late. Just be honest n no one will have problems. I never chased. Women are tired of the games just make your intentions known n stop wasting peoples damn time.
Well, mine didn’t, I took my distance and he was scared that I hated him so never reached, but once I talked to him again he said he was “relieved” and started to appreciate me more... 😐😐😐
They are dismissive avoidants. The ones who want a long distance relationship or treat the relationship as a long distance relationship are the worst.
Oh thanks
I may have giving my ex-partner distance because in spirit he needs to process our relationship for what it is.
I’m a 17 y/o boy and this is scary how you read me so easily
😂
Thanks dear 😘 I have him on social media, I added him and he added me back.. our eyes met before but we've never talked... I think he's crushing on me.. I'm just gonna let him pursue 🤭
This channel is the greatest discovery ever. You explain it just the way it is and I understand it completely. Thank you SO much, you have no idea the service you are providing!!! May these words find you.
This is an informative video about relationships, men like to chase after someone they think it’s not easy to get. They don’t like people who are too available.
A serious man does not value games, not even chasing.
He looks intentionally for a future wife and mother of his children.
A serious man knows time is money and does not waste time on the chace, hot/cold.
He wants a partner for life to have a ballanced secure life, so he can focus on its job, career...
He knows a good woman is necessary to have a stable household and a serious woman who is capable to manage on her own a household and life.
He wants quality not quantity.
I believe these games work on insecure attachment styles.. and honestly I just want a connection with someone secure 🤦🏻♀️ how is this even genuine love?
On a certain level, we have a Love store in our brain, the neurochemicals that show up in flow: so dopamine, norepinephrine, anandamide, endorphins, and serotonin. If you were to try to cocktail the street Love version of that, right, you're trying to blend like heroin and speed and coke and acid and weed- and point is, you can't do it. It turns out the brain can cocktail all of 'em at once, which is why people will prefer flow to almost any experience on Earth. It's our favorite experience. It's the most addictive experience on Earth. Why? 'Cause it cocktails five or six of the largest pleasure drugs the brain can produce. We're all capable of so much more than we know. That is a commonality across the board. And one of the big reasons is we're all hardwired for flow, and flow is a massive amplification of what's possible for ourselves.
I'm going through soo much too.
I haven't done anything to him but he's treating me like a trash.
Easy. Men love a CHALLENGE!
Really wish that it was seriously taught how important the balance of connecting with the person and staying a healthy amount of distance with that person to be able to obtain a healthy relationship I wish that we were taught that very young I pray that we start to teach our young people this because if you apply this to your relationships you would have a lot better relationships results.
My man and I been together for months. I need some space. My whole schedule is off. I love him but need space bad. Im feeling it most right now
But I want someone who love for who I am 💔not the idea of me
Word to the wise - if they get distant, do the same thing.
Thank you for this explanation, this was really helpful to me - I guess I sometimes get too clingy. Its a bit hard with the guy I'm dating bc I know he's struggling mentally at times and I really DO worry. But I also knows he wants space then, so I try and give it to him. I guess I need to find more to occupy myself with and do like you said in another video, not text for like 5 days (I did wait a couple days between the last messages). And if he does not answer then I'll consider it ghosting regardless of why. Because he knows I'm more than willing to give him space; and atm we even live in separate cities. Also he had been nagging me for a few days, knowing I was busy. I guess I was stupid to give into his needs, as my "reward" was being ghosted since friday night/saturday morning.
Next video will be interesting 😊
I'm a Taurus and 15:15 was my birthing time. I really feel this message was for me! Thank you, yourr energy is delightful!
Lol you sound stupid this message in this video is bad be yourself and if you really like someone show that to them and work on being a better person rather than succumbing to childish games that will have you going in circles
Hi
How's your day going ❤️