Diary of a Spearman, Entry 2: And the misadventures of King Knard's misbegotten spawn continue! You'd think that taking on a band of brigands in the woods would make one less prone to vast, gaping tactical errors, but you would be wrong. To begin with, apparently Charlie boy told the archers to use fire arrows. Fire arrows! Those don't even realistically work! But apparently he thought it would 'look cool' or something. Thankfully, after the first completely ineffective volley, the sub-commanders managed to convince him to let the archers use arrows that actually work. But the genius moves kept on coming. First he told his archers to run away from the enemy when they got too close, but the wankers apparently thought that meant they were supposed to keep running to the edge of the earth. They only stopped and turned around to fire again when explicitly ordered to, which in my opinion is grounds to have them all executed for desertion. Thankfully the enemy infantry barely knew which end of a spear to poke at us with, and once brave prince Charlie slammed them in the rear like his squire at night, they ran off easily enough. But then, wonder of wonders, it turns out that the light cavalry Charlie boy had sent to flank earlier had all suffered from a collective stroke and stood gaping at each other until heavily armed knights ran them down. That got them running, and of course being too slow to catch up with the morons, the enemy knights turned to face Charlie boy. I'll give you three guesses as to what his response was. After his high-pitched screams of terror had carried to the archers position, they interpreted it as an order to fire on the enemy knights. They did so, and I have to say that the plinking sound it made when those arrows bounced off of their armor was quite soothing. So of course we mercenaries had to do all the bloody work slaughtering those bastards. At least until Charlie boy turned around, realized he now had the enemy outnumbered, and suddenly regained his courage. He rode in just in time for the other commander to suffer from a spontaneous heart attack, which he interpreted as the man dropping dead from fear, thus giving him the right to strut around claiming he slew the enemy general in single combat. And I still don't have armor as good as those bloody Norse Archers.
Jorg, even if Charles Estrid's tactics often feature tactical blunders, he has a kind heart and his blunders are far outclassed by my former countrymen, the Greeks. There tactics? Walk up to the enemy on a horse and repeatedly stab them! No charges, just bumping into them! And when that fails? Tell a hodgepodge of Danes, Swedes, Norwegians, Anglo-Saxon retainers of House Godwinson, Ukrainians, and Russians with Swedish Viking blood to swing an axe at them! Now, an axeman, when coordinated with other types of soldiers and led by a commander who is competent in axe warfare, can be highly effective, but in the hands of Greeks playing Roman? If the Turks get to them before Danmark, then they deserved it!
What are javelins? Are they like arrows you throw? There may be some merit to your suggestion, my studies of the combat arts of Victor the Killer have revealed one of his most fearsome warcries: "Toss in ya pila!" According to my historians, pila were a kind of javelin.
I see Stockholm hasn't built their walls. That's what you get for ordering flat-pack palisades that look good in the catalog. Not that I would know, I'm thousands of miles away in the desert.
Fun fact; Stettin is so pagan in this game because at this date, it was still controlled by the pagan Prussian-Lithuanian tribes, who were in charge of the area more or less until the Baltic Crusades of the 13th century and the Lithuanian conversion to catholicism.
Meanwhile, in an alternate universe: England is at war...with literally everyone. And WINNING. After beating back four full stack crusading armies at the Siege Of Toulouse, the long-planned offensive swings into full gear. A small, but well-equipped expeditionary force with a sizable artillery train makes a daring naval landing behind enemy lines, seizes Algiers from a token garrison, and prepares to march across North Africa, while their comrades in mainland Iberia steadily push back Portugal to a handful of isolated castles. Small English armies holding Milan and Genoa dig in against repeated sieges, slowly bleeding the once-mighty armies of the Papal States and the HRE white, as two full stack forces take city after city from Denmark, Poland, and the northern HRE. On the home front, reinforcements mass in Nottingham castle, having cut their teeth on two small rebel armies nearby, and a natural 6 piety priest cleans up any remaining heretics and witches. CAN ANYONE STOP THE ENGLISH OFFENSIVE? IS ALL EUROPE DOOMED TO A CULTURALLY HOMOGENEOUS FUTURE FULL OF LONGBOWS AND FISH AND CHIPS? TUNE IN NEXT WEEK!
In times of great peril, all Scandinavian furniture has the ability to come together in the form of a giant robot that can be used to defend the countries it originated from.
Let's... let's not throw him into CK2 first, okay? Let's have him start with Europa Universalis, where his Stellaris experience will at least help him vaguely sort of know what's going on. Kind of.
1:15 Actually, the "plaza" is in the bailey, which is the large courtyard surrounding the hill (or "motte"). The bailey isn't on the motte, it's around it.
Fun fact: The first alliance between Denmark and Poland took place c. 1000, when king Mieszko married off his daughter Świętosława to the Danish King Svend Forkbeard. (Świętosława was mythologized in the Norse Sagas as Sigrida the Haughty, and immolated king Harald to warn other kings from offering marriage before their first date.) A millennium later, the most recent of their descendants is ... the UK's Princess Charlotte.
Publius the Handsome Nope. Like a good 85% of his co-workers, Valerius quickly discovered a Liberal Arts degree meant Justinian's (Law) school, marketing, teaching undergrads, and professional murdering were the only avenues for gainful employment. Obviously, he picked the only socially responsible one. Rumor has it that he asked his marks to answer the eternal question "Can God make a degree so useless than even he can't get a job with it?" before putting 'em in the ground. Whether or not that was just some cold-blooded shit to say given situation remains in dispute.
No joke, I have been belly laughing for a few minutes now because I had to pause the video after you explained the age hiccup for this game's family members!!! This is the content I signed on for, dammit.
Wherever I May Rome Where I lay my dead is home Oh wait... wrong series... The word "viking" is hard to fit into a metal song, okay? Sure, there's TONES of them with Viking already IN the lyrics... but not many where it'd fit.
I've had this profile since Rome. I really hope he does do a Seleucid campagin one day, problem is if he does I'll have to hope he gets a Dionysios somehow of which I can be. But we'll see.
*FRIENDS! WE HAVE COME AS THE DANISH ARCHERS! ARCHERS OF DANE! HAHA. DEFINITELY NOT A BAND OF CRETANS! SEE? WE EVEN HAVE THAT SILLY SCARF THING EVERYONE WEARS!?*
Um...that's a cravat. Those are Croatian scarves. I know because I once visited Croatia as a chaplain for a diplomat and that's the distinct frilly style they use over there
Jon, thank you for being a reliable escape for the past week. Since you started your Rome total war series i have watched it every morning it was out before work, and it wasn't a good day on the few mornings that i couldn't. More importantly i have been craving this series to avoid thinking about my dad who is hospital. if you every get sick of this job for some strange reason just remember, you make a very large difference in our lives and we can never get enough of how bad you are at anything but strategy games :P
I normally can't stand let's plays. But I absolutely love Manyatruenerd's strategic playthroughs. He's hilarious to listen to, is a great tactician, and verbalizes his planning process very well. Keep up the good work!
21 days have passed since we besieged Valencia, after a failed assault due to the fact that we hadn't anticipated their walls, I've come up with a genius plan...well...it was my daughter Teresa...but she wouldn't exist if not for me, so I'm allowed to take credit. We're going to build giant soup spoons! I don't understand how they'll help but everyone else seems to agree they're good. Also they keep calling them "catapults"...todays youth sure is weird. Anyway, everyone wants the soup spoons so I'll humour them I suppose.
Meget godt! Now, just give me hot coal, the hay tinder, hand fan, og torches. I'll get the torture devices and recruit officials to collect evidence, and we can get this trial ready
Securing the eastern front before moving on France, are You, Jon... well, when it's time and You're feeling low in Your bunker, remember - tomorrow is another day and Your people love You. Anyway, I found these things useful in my games: 1. Shortcuts. M for merging damaged troops in campaign mode. In battle mode you can press R for toggling running and Ctrl + a bunch of keys to select all troops of a specific type. E.g. I for infantry, C for cavalry, M for missile. Artillery is B I think. 2. Generals can pick up traits on the turn in which a building is finished building, but only if they are in that settlement. These are always good traits as far as I'm aware. Beware of that one building though. People go inn and they never come out.
The reason your units are herping the derp when you order them to attack or move is that you're moving them in groups. For some reason you have to order them one by one to attack the enemy otherwise it's like telling them "attack that enemy and all the enemies around them." You can hold down the shift key to see what moves are queued as well and you'll see that they're ordered to attack enemies they shouldn't be.
the Spanish princess at 40:20 is named the Spanish word for Magpie (which is used to refer to someone who speaks a lot, or who never says something interesting, to the point of being annoying), and "el valiente" means either "the brave [man]" or "the valiant [man]" xD
40-1 hour episode about 3 times a week is quite enough for many people. I would watch happily if it was once a day, but he needs to take a lot of time to edit, read and understand the comments and so on.
I just discovered, if you annex a nation, you can inherent their navy. I was England and I have Blitzkrieg-ed Denmark, suddenly I got Danish army with 1 star Admiral Jon.
Stables do more for other factions than the Danes, stables also vastly increase the recruitment pool for said cavalry, which allows you to train up cav forces for a couple turns to stomp and enemy army then disband them after, cause you can train up another army so easily.
Damn it Jon, you need to upgrade your small settlements like Stettin into a stone castle before before you convert them into a town, that way it goes straight into a large town rather than a crappy village. Kind of the equivalent of the peasant migration trick from Rome, though it can be a little expensive in the early game.
11:30, if you would have chosen to upgrade the mot&bailey and then have converted it to city you could skip the village fase and get a small town in stettin
I saw this and went to play a little of my own. Somehow ended up in Cairo at turn 32 due to a crusade (started as England). My god that was a bloody battle, and thank god that you get such a discount on mercenaries. 20k from ransacking was amazing though
You could also have kept the castle at Stettin and upgraded it to a full castle without needing any population growth, letting you convert it straight into a large town rather than waiting for it to grow naturally. Though that might feel too much like an exploit.
I just noticed that the harbour-town in Denmark where Admiral Jon has his headquarters is supposed to be Esbjerg, which makes really good sense, as it's the biggest harbour town in Jutland and the 5th biggest city in the country. I've sometimes wondered why it wouldn't be the capital city, since it's so much easier to sail to England, France, Netherlands, and many other European countries from there; but alas, Copenhagen had more significance, also since Sweden is so close. Also, Jens of Fåborg. That is just amazing. One of the most hilbilly-esque names in our vocabulary, and Fåborg is a city located in southern Fyn (the middle island) which makes sense, since he would have sailed by boat to get to Stettin! Nice! Also Jon, it's not really a surprise seeing Prince Charles get more Dread when you deliberately let the battle carry on even when they consider defeat, eh`?
I'm pretty sure if you use the General's Battle-Cry ability you actually improve the moral of nearby units, and this can cause enemy units to break if there's an engagement, I'm not 100% but I've won battles instantly after I clicked it
So for example if your general's about to charge into the back of the enemy, when he engages, just do the battlecry and the enemy should be scared by it
i forgot how fun this game was; are you going to show off the tanner/armory upgrades to the troops; although tanner only gets peasants and militia up 1 level (and visibly wearing leather)
Ok, I'm 5 years late to watching this one, but... A lot of people noticed the thing with character age. There was short lived controversy about it. It was technically easily fixable in single textual file making each turn take 6 months again, but that seemed to mess up economy and make the game looong and the Byzantine overpowered (you would win far before gunpowder when time goes slower). On the flip side, it also made princesses less rare.
I mean, when he was attacking Stettin, he had to walk right by a stonehenge like monument. It shouldn't be that much of a surprise that the province was pagan. Then again, not really sure why there was also a cathedral on the battle map.
Yeah im absolutely dumb at this game but this series really puts everything about this game into a better perspective. Will try it again without the cheats
if u want a certain troop or all tje troops to go and actually fight rather than just having the front attack. then click them to behind the enemy and they will keep running then click them to attack
Jon one hint when you see the pope with 45 50 years rush in priests because probably they will become cardinals and with a lot of cardinals you can recommend one of denmark for pope and have a lot of advantage in the other factions
actually the basic crossbow has more range than the bow or at least mercenary crossbows have at the very least 10 more paces of range than an archer, they often get one volley in before archers in my games at least
Does anyone else agree with me that high dread is better (for fighting generals) than high chivalry? It reduces the length of fights, because it reduces the time taken for the enemy to break, as opposed to increasing them by increasing the time taken for your own troops to break, so you lose fewer troops with higher dread, and more with higher chivalry, unless I've got my maths wrong?
If you continue battle and ride your enemy down you will continually gain dread, the only way to gain chivalry is to keep letting your enemy get away, you have to weigh up whether you want to eliminate a threat or sacrifice you chivalry... on my plays I just sucked it up and had dreaded generals (also the only way to get rid of assassins is to assassinate them, France sent 5 assassins after me and killed a couple family members, by the time i killed all the assassins I gained 2 dread)
I came, I saw, I cupboarded... Since when was Stettin on Salisbury Plains? I wonder if the presence of the big stone circle on the battlefield was in any way associated with the unexpected major religion of the town? In the battle report from Stockholm why did it say Men Lost: 20 for your side and Enemies Killed: 22 on the Stockholm side, that doesn't add up. Is that down to you healing up a couple after the battle?
I also found out that you can't fire agents today! In my Milan run, I hired two merchants in a turn that were skill zero. I basically had them running around Italy trying to suicide into other merchants. Was kinda comical.
Why does the troop count drop with a 10 second delay? Seems like something that would have gotten better, not far worse... Rome: Total War counter seemed to move in real time
What happens when the counter in the upper right during battle hits zero? In previous episodes the Imperial army was in your territory, do they not have to declare war when going in your territory?
You should commit a diplomat to keep feeding map information and tributes to the Papal states, then get an alliance with em. That way your enemies will get excommunicated and you can call a crusade to cripple them.
All Denmark will be amazed at such a victory! THE DAY IS OUUUUuuuUuUUuUuUuRS!
OOOUUURRRHAAAUUUSSSS IN THE MIDDLE OF OURSTREET
Scott Elder *sigh* I miss the voice crack narrator man
Ourhaus is a very, very very fine haus with three castles on our land, the Polish are our friends, Now we might not go bankrupt cause of Stockholm...
Yeah, this Transylvanian sounding guy is getting old real fast.
cant say that without saying it like the narrator does
Diary of a Spearman, Entry 2:
And the misadventures of King Knard's misbegotten spawn continue! You'd think that taking on a band of brigands in the woods would make one less prone to vast, gaping tactical errors, but you would be wrong.
To begin with, apparently Charlie boy told the archers to use fire arrows. Fire arrows! Those don't even realistically work! But apparently he thought it would 'look cool' or something. Thankfully, after the first completely ineffective volley, the sub-commanders managed to convince him to let the archers use arrows that actually work.
But the genius moves kept on coming. First he told his archers to run away from the enemy when they got too close, but the wankers apparently thought that meant they were supposed to keep running to the edge of the earth. They only stopped and turned around to fire again when explicitly ordered to, which in my opinion is grounds to have them all executed for desertion.
Thankfully the enemy infantry barely knew which end of a spear to poke at us with, and once brave prince Charlie slammed them in the rear like his squire at night, they ran off easily enough. But then, wonder of wonders, it turns out that the light cavalry Charlie boy had sent to flank earlier had all suffered from a collective stroke and stood gaping at each other until heavily armed knights ran them down. That got them running, and of course being too slow to catch up with the morons, the enemy knights turned to face Charlie boy. I'll give you three guesses as to what his response was.
After his high-pitched screams of terror had carried to the archers position, they interpreted it as an order to fire on the enemy knights. They did so, and I have to say that the plinking sound it made when those arrows bounced off of their armor was quite soothing. So of course we mercenaries had to do all the bloody work slaughtering those bastards. At least until Charlie boy turned around, realized he now had the enemy outnumbered, and suddenly regained his courage. He rode in just in time for the other commander to suffer from a spontaneous heart attack, which he interpreted as the man dropping dead from fear, thus giving him the right to strut around claiming he slew the enemy general in single combat. And I still don't have armor as good as those bloody Norse Archers.
Jorg the Mercenary Spearman you think your superiors are incompetent?
try joining the imperial guard
Jorg, even if Charles Estrid's tactics often feature tactical blunders, he has a kind heart and his blunders are far outclassed by my former countrymen, the Greeks. There tactics? Walk up to the enemy on a horse and repeatedly stab them! No charges, just bumping into them! And when that fails? Tell a hodgepodge of Danes, Swedes, Norwegians, Anglo-Saxon retainers of House Godwinson, Ukrainians, and Russians with Swedish Viking blood to swing an axe at them! Now, an axeman, when coordinated with other types of soldiers and led by a commander who is competent in axe warfare, can be highly effective, but in the hands of Greeks playing Roman? If the Turks get to them before Danmark, then they deserved it!
I can respect tactics that involve "Run away, fire arrows, win", although it lacks horse archers. Those can run AND fire at the same time.
Hey Mongols, I can give you one better: how about horsemen, but instead of having bows...THEY HAVE JAVELINS!
What are javelins? Are they like arrows you throw? There may be some merit to your suggestion, my studies of the combat arts of Victor the Killer have revealed one of his most fearsome warcries:
"Toss in ya pila!"
According to my historians, pila were a kind of javelin.
Why do I feel such a tingly feeling inside when I'm in Scandinavia? It's warm, and comforting....
*_OH NO_*
I think I might have Stockholm Syndrome!
It upsets me this has so few likes
*_OH YES_*
This. Is. The last time I'll abandon you!
I don't get it.
I see what you did there.
+Nobody Important
Stockholm, Sweden
Fun Fact: The Middle Ages had a lower brightness and higher saturation than the Roman Republic
I see Stockholm hasn't built their walls. That's what you get for ordering flat-pack palisades that look good in the catalog.
Not that I would know, I'm thousands of miles away in the desert.
You still in the desert 3 years later?
I love the random Stonehenge just outside of Stettin
Fun fact; Stettin is so pagan in this game because at this date, it was still controlled by the pagan Prussian-Lithuanian tribes, who were in charge of the area more or less until the Baltic Crusades of the 13th century and the Lithuanian conversion to catholicism.
That's a super fun bit of history included in the game :)
I think Stettin was actually held by (still pagan) Slavs - the Baltic tribes are further to the east.
Many A True Nerd Could you look into Stainless Steel mod for this game pretty please? And yes, CK2 would be amazing :3
Baltic tribes lived way much to the east from Stettin. Actually even east from Danzig.
Those pagans living in that province are pagan Slavs.
My daughter Urraca has just informed me Denmark does not wish to ally with us...No, I'm not crying, you're crying!
Well your grace you are sweating quite ebit I may say your grace. Oh and if you dont mind,
ITSALMOSTHARVESTINGSEASON!
"The Holy Roman Empire is neither Holy, nor Roman, nor an Empire." Get fuckn rect
Ah admiral, your eloquence hasn't changed since Roman times ahaha
The only thing they are is a bunch of liars! You told me I was able to win a fight on my own last part Heinrich, what the heck?!
Admiral Jon You're so right
I'll tell you what is a Roman Empire, Admiral...
Admiral Jon why are you not on a voyage to the New World to found Legoland?
Meanwhile, in an alternate universe:
England is at war...with literally everyone. And WINNING. After beating back four full stack crusading armies at the Siege Of Toulouse, the long-planned offensive swings into full gear. A small, but well-equipped expeditionary force with a sizable artillery train makes a daring naval landing behind enemy lines, seizes Algiers from a token garrison, and prepares to march across North Africa, while their comrades in mainland Iberia steadily push back Portugal to a handful of isolated castles. Small English armies holding Milan and Genoa dig in against repeated sieges, slowly bleeding the once-mighty armies of the Papal States and the HRE white, as two full stack forces take city after city from Denmark, Poland, and the northern HRE. On the home front, reinforcements mass in Nottingham castle, having cut their teeth on two small rebel armies nearby, and a natural 6 piety priest cleans up any remaining heretics and witches. CAN ANYONE STOP THE ENGLISH OFFENSIVE? IS ALL EUROPE DOOMED TO A CULTURALLY HOMOGENEOUS FUTURE FULL OF LONGBOWS AND FISH AND CHIPS? TUNE IN NEXT WEEK!
Supposedly British women have the largest breasts in Europe, so I'm absolutely fine with this turn of events.
I CAN CONFIRM THIS WITH PLEASURE! BUT OF COURSE, THEY CANNOT HOLD A CANDLE TO YOURS, MY HEAVENLY PATRON.
Nice Tomska reference... keep up the good work m8
King William The Conqueror my king KILL EM ALL
A spy and a princess traveling Europe together. Sounds like a hook for an adventure novel.
A Canterbury tales-esque Medieval Spy thriller, bruh you're onto smt 🤔😝
This is the only series I clear my schedule and obsessively refresh for.
Well, the only current series. I did the same for Rome
-Don't lie, Jon. Claire puts the IKEA furniture together. You're too inept.- Meow.
Tabby the MATN Cat This is the best account, after Bloody Flipping castle.
Great Britant I am better Britant
**coughs loudly**
-Let Claire decide- Meow.
Admiral Jon Good point. You do have the best picture.
In times of great peril, all Scandinavian furniture has the ability to come together in the form of a giant robot that can be used to defend the countries it originated from.
That's no good, what if it's made in China and the Chinese are attacking?
Then we get the Americans to fire up Liberty Prime, I guess
Can't, Lady Liberty's French...
And she is such a good kisser too.
Which has what to do with country themed animatronics?
When you created the alliance with Poland both of your power increased. You went from modest to average and Poland went from average to capable.
-'Steve the archer put up a good fight' I see an opportunity for someone in the comments!- *Castle Noises*
Bloody Flipping Castle This is best account.
-Yes- *Castle Noises*
Great Britant my account is better as is Tiberius's
Bloody Flipping Castle Where did the *castle noises* thing come from? I must have missed it at some point...
-I just need a castle related war Pig knockoff...- *Castle Noises*
Jon. You must play Crusader Kings 2. If not only for the pure hilarity/confusion that would ensue.
Let's... let's not throw him into CK2 first, okay? Let's have him start with Europa Universalis, where his Stellaris experience will at least help him vaguely sort of know what's going on. Kind of.
Keegan Clements-Housser One day. One day he shall suffer through the Karlings and their incompetency.
CK2 is hardly that complicated. HOI on the other hand, is a different story.
Oliolli3 :D Hurray, my topic has a use!
MagicianCamille I disagree... Ck2 is far more in depth and complex
1:15 Actually, the "plaza" is in the bailey, which is the large courtyard surrounding the hill (or "motte"). The bailey isn't on the motte, it's around it.
Jon gonna be like "I'll show you Romans how to Empire..."
Fun fact: The first alliance between Denmark and Poland took place c. 1000, when king Mieszko married off his daughter Świętosława to the Danish King Svend Forkbeard. (Świętosława was mythologized in the Norse Sagas as Sigrida the Haughty, and immolated king Harald to warn other kings from offering marriage before their first date.) A millennium later, the most recent of their descendants is ... the UK's Princess Charlotte.
I wouldn't have considered you such a lineage and history buff Valerius. Does it make you a more effective killer?
Publius the Handsome
Nope. Like a good 85% of his co-workers, Valerius quickly discovered a Liberal Arts degree meant Justinian's (Law) school, marketing, teaching undergrads, and professional murdering were the only avenues for gainful employment. Obviously, he picked the only socially responsible one.
Rumor has it that he asked his marks to answer the eternal question "Can God make a degree so useless than even he can't get a job with it?" before putting 'em in the ground. Whether or not that was just some cold-blooded shit to say given situation remains in dispute.
No joke, I have been belly laughing for a few minutes now because I had to pause the video after you explained the age hiccup for this game's family members!!! This is the content I signed on for, dammit.
Wherever I May Rome
Where I lay my dead is home
Oh wait... wrong series... The word "viking" is hard to fit into a metal song, okay? Sure, there's TONES of them with Viking already IN the lyrics... but not many where it'd fit.
Dionysios of Babylon I got my axes gonna take you to hell, I'm much better at your job that you are
Dionysios of Babylon that profile will be useful once Jon starts his Seleucid campaign
I've had this profile since Rome. I really hope he does do a Seleucid campagin one day, problem is if he does I'll have to hope he gets a Dionysios somehow of which I can be. But we'll see.
Just look at Viking metal! (either the sub-genre or the CK2 music pack)
Dionysios of Babylon what about Danes? Would that be easier to work with?
*FRIENDS! WE HAVE COME AS THE DANISH ARCHERS! ARCHERS OF DANE! HAHA. DEFINITELY NOT A BAND OF CRETANS! SEE? WE EVEN HAVE THAT SILLY SCARF THING EVERYONE WEARS!?*
Um...that's a cravat. Those are Croatian scarves. I know because I once visited Croatia as a chaplain for a diplomat and that's the distinct frilly style they use over there
Jon, thank you for being a reliable escape for the past week. Since you started your Rome total war series i have watched it every morning it was out before work, and it wasn't a good day on the few mornings that i couldn't. More importantly i have been craving this series to avoid thinking about my dad who is hospital. if you every get sick of this job for some strange reason just remember, you make a very large difference in our lives and we can never get enough of how bad you are at anything but strategy games :P
I normally can't stand let's plays. But I absolutely love Manyatruenerd's strategic playthroughs. He's hilarious to listen to, is a great tactician, and verbalizes his planning process very well. Keep up the good work!
I REFUSE TO SUBMIT TO SHAMELESS MONOPOLIST BUSINESS PRACTICES!!!
Ah, friend Toke. I have heard of you triumph over another merchant. All those years obsessively defending amber clearly sharpened your skills.
Thank you, O Great Khan. I shall hope you will deliver me the courtesy of a swift and merciful death once the Mongol Horde sweeps across Europe.
Actually, I may have some business opportunities for you.
Tell me, what do you know of... silkworm husbandry?
From what my Italian friend told me, you must conquer China and they'll do it for you.
A trade secret: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
21 days have passed since we besieged Valencia, after a failed assault due to the fact that we hadn't anticipated their walls, I've come up with a genius plan...well...it was my daughter Teresa...but she wouldn't exist if not for me, so I'm allowed to take credit. We're going to build giant soup spoons! I don't understand how they'll help but everyone else seems to agree they're good. Also they keep calling them "catapults"...todays youth sure is weird. Anyway, everyone wants the soup spoons so I'll humour them I suppose.
Heinrich, we may have our differences, but could you help me get the fires ready. We might have a heretic here
Meget godt! Now, just give me hot coal, the hay tinder, hand fan, og torches. I'll get the torture devices and recruit officials to collect evidence, and we can get this trial ready
I'm glad that, despite our history of mutual hostility, we can come together as friends to burn heretics
Hey! I'm a devote Christian! *Hides shrine to Venus under bed*
IS THAT AN IVORY SEX TOY I SEE!?!?!?
Every time Jon says "Holy Roman Empire", Voltaire screeches a bit in his grave.
These videos have taught me more and are easier to understand than any other tutorial I've watched for this game.
30:34 the best 20 second rant I've seen in quite a while
47:17 Why the cut there, Jon? Wouldn't have happened to reload a save, would ya? Takes one to know one. lol
Securing the eastern front before moving on France, are You, Jon... well, when it's time and You're feeling low in Your bunker, remember - tomorrow is another day and Your people love You. Anyway, I found these things useful in my games:
1. Shortcuts. M for merging damaged troops in campaign mode. In battle mode you can press R for toggling running and Ctrl + a bunch of keys to select all troops of a specific type. E.g. I for infantry, C for cavalry, M for missile. Artillery is B I think.
2. Generals can pick up traits on the turn in which a building is finished building, but only if they are in that settlement. These are always good traits as far as I'm aware. Beware of that one building though. People go inn and they never come out.
The reason your units are herping the derp when you order them to attack or move is that you're moving them in groups.
For some reason you have to order them one by one to attack the enemy otherwise it's like telling them "attack that enemy and all the enemies around them."
You can hold down the shift key to see what moves are queued as well and you'll see that they're ordered to attack enemies they shouldn't be.
I enjoy the little editing he does, makes it flow better!
Ourhaus... in the middle of our street.
the Spanish princess at 40:20 is named the Spanish word for Magpie (which is used to refer to someone who speaks a lot, or who never says something interesting, to the point of being annoying), and "el valiente" means either "the brave [man]" or "the valiant [man]" xD
please upload this more often
he uploads like 2-3 times a week? Isn't 120-180 minutes enough weekly content?
Give Your Meat a Good ol' Rub no we need atleast 168hours of content :P
I know but at this point many episodes on the channel in the weekdays are random games and tbh I'd rather they'd be this
.urm... no?
40-1 hour episode about 3 times a week is quite enough for many people. I would watch happily if it was once a day, but he needs to take a lot of time to edit, read and understand the comments and so on.
Here's a drinking game:
Whenever he says "flipping" or "ladies and gentlemen" take a shot
Rip Steve the Swede
-He died a warriors death at the head of an axe
He willn't be rememberes
amazing clicked this super fast. great choice at continuing the total war series. it seems to be a forte of yours!
I just discovered, if you annex a nation, you can inherent their navy. I was England and I have Blitzkrieg-ed Denmark, suddenly I got Danish army with 1 star Admiral Jon.
Jon, have you heard of the word "chivalrous"? Because chivalry-y doesn't do it for me, to be honest
What are you talking about? Aren't we the Chivalry-y-iest?
Prince Charles sure gave you guys too much time off, what are you doing commenting here, you're supposed to be taking Stockholm.
Stables do more for other factions than the Danes, stables also vastly increase the recruitment pool for said cavalry, which allows you to train up cav forces for a couple turns to stomp and enemy army then disband them after, cause you can train up another army so easily.
Damn it Jon, you need to upgrade your small settlements like Stettin into a stone castle before before you convert them into a town, that way it goes straight into a large town rather than a crappy village. Kind of the equivalent of the peasant migration trick from Rome, though it can be a little expensive in the early game.
11:30, if you would have chosen to upgrade the mot&bailey and then have converted it to city you could skip the village fase and get a small town in stettin
Waiting for the Danish Vatinius.
onchristieroad I'm Danish Jon, admiral of the imperial navy
Funny, I don't recall Julianus Vatinius running like a frightened child from 2 rebel units. Must have missed that episode.
Admiral Jon merely pitied the poor pirates and allowed them to live. He is a great merciful Admiral!
His "mercy" forced your country to spend most of its treasury on a mercenary ship!
That's what the mercenaries are there for, we didn't need them but we purchased them anyway, its a long time strategy for the economy.
I saw this and went to play a little of my own. Somehow ended up in Cairo at turn 32 due to a crusade (started as England). My god that was a bloody battle, and thank god that you get such a discount on mercenaries. 20k from ransacking was amazing though
You could also have kept the castle at Stettin and upgraded it to a full castle without needing any population growth, letting you convert it straight into a large town rather than waiting for it to grow naturally. Though that might feel too much like an exploit.
I am loving this series so far!
You gain more dread traits for running units down once they have routed as it is considered dishonourable.
"I need this place growing, so I'll lower the taxes"
> changes the tax rate from normal to high
Why the cut at 47:19 ? Seems like a lot of trouble to remove a 2 second animation. No penalty to reputation from a merchant take over.
In the middle of the street.
I played a campaign as Milan and I kinda liked it. I focused on taking over the area around the Mediterranean Sea.
In this episode Jon conquers a city that doesnt even exist until almost 150 years later.
Ah yes, the title that has always been this title and no other title.
You are now my favorite medieval 2 UA-camr based solely on your opinion f mailan. I feel the exact same way.
I just noticed that the harbour-town in Denmark where Admiral Jon has his headquarters is supposed to be Esbjerg, which makes really good sense, as it's the biggest harbour town in Jutland and the 5th biggest city in the country. I've sometimes wondered why it wouldn't be the capital city, since it's so much easier to sail to England, France, Netherlands, and many other European countries from there; but alas, Copenhagen had more significance, also since Sweden is so close.
Also, Jens of Fåborg. That is just amazing. One of the most hilbilly-esque names in our vocabulary, and Fåborg is a city located in southern Fyn (the middle island) which makes sense, since he would have sailed by boat to get to Stettin! Nice!
Also Jon, it's not really a surprise seeing Prince Charles get more Dread when you deliberately let the battle carry on even when they consider defeat, eh`?
Jon, that title. You fill me with joy.
I'm pretty sure if you use the General's Battle-Cry ability you actually improve the moral of nearby units, and this can cause enemy units to break if there's an engagement, I'm not 100% but I've won battles instantly after I clicked it
So for example if your general's about to charge into the back of the enemy, when he engages, just do the battlecry and the enemy should be scared by it
i forgot how fun this game was; are you going to show off the tanner/armory upgrades to the troops; although tanner only gets peasants and militia up 1 level (and visibly wearing leather)
Ok, I'm 5 years late to watching this one, but... A lot of people noticed the thing with character age. There was short lived controversy about it. It was technically easily fixable in single textual file making each turn take 6 months again, but that seemed to mess up economy and make the game looong and the Byzantine overpowered (you would win far before gunpowder when time goes slower). On the flip side, it also made princesses less rare.
I mean, when he was attacking Stettin, he had to walk right by a stonehenge like monument. It shouldn't be that much of a surprise that the province was pagan. Then again, not really sure why there was also a cathedral on the battle map.
NO IM NOT RELAVENT ANYMORE... JON HOW COULD YOU DO THIS
I just want to know what the heck Stonehenge was doing in Stettin ?
It was a friendly visit. A cultural exchange, if you will, between remnants of paganism on Europe
"you know what" heard that so many times during the battles lol
Yeah im absolutely dumb at this game but this series really puts everything about this game into a better perspective. Will try it again without the cheats
if u want a certain troop or all tje troops to go and actually fight rather than just having the front attack. then click them to behind the enemy and they will keep running then click them to attack
Why don't you put your infantry in loose formation while they're moving the battering rams/ladders/etc and taking arrow fire?
This is truly a victory worthy of Danish arms
wut?
Who are you that speak my language but wear such strange garb
Иосиф Сталин That mustache is worthy of the great dane kingdom. May it serve you well comrade
Careful with this one Vlad, he has a rebellious look about him...
Im the one who will conquer every single land you know!
Also im the one who the Rus call Man of Steel!
Waiting for Julianus Vatinius to come out of nowhere and just sweep all of Europe with his greatness.
That beginning...
Jon one hint when you see the pope with 45 50 years rush in priests because probably they will become cardinals and with a lot of cardinals you can recommend one of denmark for pope and have a lot of advantage in the other factions
What the hell is going on on that battlefield? Stetin - come to see the famous stonehenge, stay to visit the distant cathedral!
Every single total war I play, be it shogun 2, Warhammer, Three kingdoms..I'm always anticipating an inevitable Milanese attack.
4:40 Well, your general is nowhere near the fight, so yeah, he probably just collapsed mid-battle...
Where did Jon get the extra 600 florins at 27:30?
actually the basic crossbow has more range than the bow
or at least mercenary crossbows have at the very least 10 more paces of range than an archer, they often get one volley in before archers in my games at least
Does anyone else agree with me that high dread is better (for fighting generals) than high chivalry? It reduces the length of fights, because it reduces the time taken for the enemy to break, as opposed to increasing them by increasing the time taken for your own troops to break, so you lose fewer troops with higher dread, and more with higher chivalry, unless I've got my maths wrong?
I was hoping to have more warrior and less death in my warrior's death.
The announcer sounds like penultimo from the tropico series, everytime he says something I cant help but think of viking toucans and llamas
If you continue battle and ride your enemy down you will continually gain dread, the only way to gain chivalry is to keep letting your enemy get away, you have to weigh up whether you want to eliminate a threat or sacrifice you chivalry... on my plays I just sucked it up and had dreaded generals (also the only way to get rid of assassins is to assassinate them, France sent 5 assassins after me and killed a couple family members, by the time i killed all the assassins I gained 2 dread)
I came, I saw, I cupboarded...
Since when was Stettin on Salisbury Plains? I wonder if the presence of the big stone circle on the battlefield was in any way associated with the unexpected major religion of the town?
In the battle report from Stockholm why did it say Men Lost: 20 for your side and Enemies Killed: 22 on the Stockholm side, that doesn't add up. Is that down to you healing up a couple after the battle?
I also found out that you can't fire agents today! In my Milan run, I hired two merchants in a turn that were skill zero. I basically had them running around Italy trying to suicide into other merchants. Was kinda comical.
that title made me laugh good to know the punny titles will continue jon
Have you ever played the Europa Barbarorum Mod for Rome TW? It adds a huge amount of new content and really changes the way the game plays.
3:15 What's Stonehenge doing in Poland?
If I buy this will it work on windows 10? Because my disk Rome total war doesn't work
At 4:22 why the fuck is the port of Hamburg on the Baltic sea?
that's not where the Elbe goes!
King Knud is impressed with these victories , I shall most definitely be raiding a women's inner sanctum tonight if you know what I mean
Sicily is sure remembering their days as the Scipii
1:26
Is that a henge? In Poland?
What, you've never heard of Kamieńhenge? It's totally real, trust me.
Good video Jon
+10 points for that title.
I think we need a 'guys' counter, because i swear i literally counted 10 guys within a minute.
Why does the troop count drop with a 10 second delay? Seems like something that would have gotten better, not far worse... Rome: Total War counter seemed to move in real time
What happens when the counter in the upper right during battle hits zero?
In previous episodes the Imperial army was in your territory, do they not have to declare war when going in your territory?
Canoodle's no Julianus Vatinius (all hail Space Rome), but he's what we've got. At least until Charles poisons his wine. I hope he poisons that wine.
You should commit a diplomat to keep feeding map information and tributes to the Papal states, then get an alliance with em. That way your enemies will get excommunicated and you can call a crusade to cripple them.
So far this series has not grown on me but I hope it will become as good as RTW.
Was that stone henge outside the motte and bailey??