The #1 Reason to NEVER Settle (Reasonable) Standards!

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  • Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
  • The #1 Reason to NEVER Settle (Reasonable) Standards!

КОМЕНТАРІ • 111

  • @andreagoodwin148
    @andreagoodwin148 11 місяців тому +88

    Because I didn't keep accepting the abuse....put downs... triangulation.. manipulation...aggravation...I am too masculine.

    • @tarawiselove
      @tarawiselove 11 місяців тому +21

      And he was correct. He equated masculinity with boundaries, and this is right. Unfortunately for him, he confused femininity with unlimited willingness to be badgered. We all have masculine and feminine traits and tendencies. Your feminine stops where your masculine begins and vice versa. Once your limit for receiving (feminine) was reached, the hard stop for abusive treatment was the boundary (masculine). Embrace both and master these forces within you, and you will be safer and wiser moving forward. Never let your feminine side be compromised again.

    • @cbrown4293
      @cbrown4293 11 місяців тому +6

      ​@@tarawiselovebeautiful comment ,saving it for future reference as a personal reminder when I can feel myself being pulled forced or baited into functiining in my masculine,ty for this!!

    • @paulahamilton3018
      @paulahamilton3018 11 місяців тому +15

      So tired of abusive men using this excuse

    • @Mara_143
      @Mara_143 11 місяців тому +4

      💯💯💯💯

  • @S.c.7619
    @S.c.7619 11 місяців тому +1

    Ace you ATE and left NO crumbs.

  • @ericalashan1923
    @ericalashan1923 11 місяців тому +1

    Oak Park MI in the house. BK now but Im not a city girl either.

  • @LaKymana
    @LaKymana 5 місяців тому

    This is good

  • @mscece1900
    @mscece1900 11 місяців тому +31

    Women need to stop dating one guy at a time, stop letting other guys shame you for having options. That's exactly how dudes never fall short of meeting good women and having options, they always keep their options opened. The more options women have, the more it increases your chances of actually meeting good men.

    • @taraminsalee6374
      @taraminsalee6374 11 місяців тому +2

      Exactly 💯

    • @nneoma6106
      @nneoma6106 11 місяців тому +1

      💯

    • @antoinetteadame0526
      @antoinetteadame0526 9 місяців тому +2

      I keep several in rotation. We must quantum date. Or otherwise called circular dating.

    • @mscece1900
      @mscece1900 9 місяців тому

      @@antoinetteadame0526 Exactly! That's why it's called options, everyone has them so why can't we take advantage according to males? They hate competition

    • @Mental_Alchemist
      @Mental_Alchemist 9 місяців тому

      That strategy could work if you aren't looking for anything serious. It's a catch-22.
      Many men will 'entertain' you if we know that you're dating other men, but it's highly unlikely that he'll see you as someone he'd want to "settle down" with.
      When I hear that a woman is dating multiple men, I assume that she's probably sleeping with at least some of them.
      I'm not going to shoot myself in the foot and actually tell her my assumption. But if she's sexy and cool, Imma play the game so I can hit, but won't take her seriously as an option for wifey.
      I could see her as a cool person ... But probably for the streets, so I treat her accordingly.
      And No it's not even a competition. She can off and marry one of those guys tomorrow, and Id just congratulate her, while thinking to myself.... "good luck to that guy...couldn't be me though" 😂

  • @kosmikenergy5723
    @kosmikenergy5723 11 місяців тому +32

    Some of this applies to toxic families that don't respect boundaries too.

    • @amiethompson4443
      @amiethompson4443 11 місяців тому +1

      Facts I come from a toxic family and was raised by a narcissistic man,there was no boundaries he wouldn't cross and the women never stepped in,now I'm on a healing journey from all the trauma and I realize I attracted males like him, I've been single for 10yrs now and happier than I ever been I'm at peace on my journey

  • @peachesearthlyessentials988
    @peachesearthlyessentials988 11 місяців тому +26

    Thank you Brother ❤! I honestly needed your help with my healing mentally, emotionally, etc. I love your transparency you dropped a lot of Good Gems for every woman who is watching this to Raise our standards, create boundaries, and never settle. Stop giving a man a chance all because he's attractive but he doesn't fit your standard. Looks alone just like money alone is not enough to sustain a healthy relationship Make sure he's making sacrifices first if he's a leader. Great points you touched I'm soooo grateful for you

  • @lisaperez1254
    @lisaperez1254 11 місяців тому +13

    I appreciate your responses. A lot of these men on dating apps will state “going with the flow”. I hate that damn statement. Too many men play games.

  • @sadiopatterson7848
    @sadiopatterson7848 11 місяців тому +9

    Whew… I needed to hear this. I thank you.

  • @sherry2250
    @sherry2250 11 місяців тому +12

    You're totally right Ace!!! I've invested TOO MUCH of my valuable time, energy & effort to several men thus far and they all have managed to ignore, disrespect, dismiss, neglect and give me cold vibes back in return 🤔🤨! I have always given brown/dark skin men the benefit of the doubt, but they always ei d up reconfirming my suspicion of their inappropriate agenda towards me. Too many men treat good women like another name on their options list, a 3rd/5th wheel, a wing woman, side piece, standby chick, 2nd fiddle, or his just in case. Ace, why are grown men in their 40's, 50's, & 60's still playing games like they're still 20 something 🤔🤨? Why do they flirt with women they don't like and then go ice cold to her after she catches REAL feelings for him?

    • @islandgirlxx3465
      @islandgirlxx3465 11 місяців тому +3

      Cause they want their cake and eat it too. They are broken man with no integrity nor morals. Cause if they had integrity, they would leave a woman alone if they know damn well that they have no serious intentions with her. But instead they lead her on to use and abuse.
      Keep your eyes wide open when dating a guy. Lead with your head and not your heart. Don't ignore the red flags in the beginning. Make sure he meets your needs. Always use discernment.

  • @ladybutterfly998
    @ladybutterfly998 11 місяців тому +14

    Ace you are always on point! Thank you Brother for being so Forward! Much ❤ to you

  • @misslovemusic6625
    @misslovemusic6625 11 місяців тому +13

    Prayer is the key

  • @missjackie7983
    @missjackie7983 10 місяців тому +5

    Take as much time as you need to heal from the last relationship. Heal until you are whole! Then, if you choose to do so begin to
    look for an equal, not a project. You're looking for someone who takes care of themselves and has the capacity to take care of you too. Someone on your level that you can respect and vice versa. Don't fall in love with potential.
    My table is SET and yours should be as well. You got to bring something to my table besides a fork and knife!
    When you are confident in what you bring to the table, you don't have to beg and chase anyone to sit down and eat!
    What category do they belong in? Partner, project, parasite or pond? Putting people in the wrong category will mess your life up! Pain prevention is tied to people being properly placed in your life y'all!! A tolerable level of permanent unhappiness just won't work!!

    • @mieshadashae5718
      @mieshadashae5718 7 місяців тому +1

      Miss Jackie you are a gem with your comments. Thank you for light!

    • @missjackie7983
      @missjackie7983 7 місяців тому

      Thanks. Just speaking the raw truth. Protect your heart!!​@mieshadashae5718

  • @bellezanegra0206
    @bellezanegra0206 11 місяців тому +9

    I had someone ask me why going in a first date was a priority when I said we needed to date before I “hung out” at his house.

  • @jaeklorre7324
    @jaeklorre7324 7 місяців тому +3

    Yes, I was dealing with man child. He was the worst, He truly acted like child . I can kick myself for dealing with such a monster. I was to good for his ass. Just a user , I blame myself for sticking around as long as I did.

  • @shywilliams7888
    @shywilliams7888 11 місяців тому +4

    Thank you ace always on point, when men meet me I lay all of my cards on the table? These ninja thank I'm boogie because I let them know up front what I want, my thing is if you can't match what I have talking about home, car, bank account with money and payroll going in?? Not PayPal, chime and Etc?? Then ninja keep walking Do Not Open Your Mf Mouth buying me a drink is not Appealing to me come hard facts!!!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @Taniere
    @Taniere 11 місяців тому +4

    Where was this guy when I was with my ex 😂.
    I walked away on my own, because I did exactly this: I chose my standards over being in a relationship with him.
    Maybe if I would have heard this dude I would have left sooner 😂.

  • @latoyasmith8022
    @latoyasmith8022 11 місяців тому +6

    😂😂 Such Profound thoughts!! You are on point. Standards Of the Living Sacrifices!!! Not easily accessible

  • @rosig.1304
    @rosig.1304 6 місяців тому +2

    Ace is so brutally honest... Exactly what I needed! 💯 Ty!

  • @shakandaspeaks7160
    @shakandaspeaks7160 11 місяців тому +7

    We must be held accountable. Setting boundaries, knowing that we choose wrong when we are not patient. Thank you Ace💯 I love you to life 💜🙏🏾

  • @amohammed5
    @amohammed5 11 місяців тому +14

    I literally just ends things last week with a guy like that he is describing. This guy I barely gave up my time for. My motto is don't let a guy waste your time this isn't really about anything. Know your worth and stick to your standards.

  • @jujubee90275
    @jujubee90275 4 місяці тому +2

    As a woman and psychotherapist , let's do this ladies. Let's heal our daddy wound.
    Whar Ace is saying is just changing the behavior but unless we do some trauma work we cannot heal our beliefs that invite toxic men in.

    • @Ms.K_LaTrailera
      @Ms.K_LaTrailera 3 місяці тому

      Thank you, this is much appreciated ❤. I dated a man for 11 months, who was an alcoholic, demeaning person, and who would bread crumb me and fell for his game with every little attention he gave me because as more time we were involved, I was putting 2 together and found out he had traits loke my dad who was very emotionally and verbally abusive towards me and I quickly walked away and I'm on my healing journey, which thankfully, I am healing my relationship with my father ❤

  • @brendarichardson8299
    @brendarichardson8299 11 місяців тому +5

    So true!!!! ❤ Boundaries in place. Just say NO to the BS.

  • @blesstaylor3499
    @blesstaylor3499 11 місяців тому +2

    My i am walking away from one now. I am masculine, I act like a man. Funny thing is, i am a strong black woman. He act more feminine and thats the problem.

  • @HK80sbabii
    @HK80sbabii 11 місяців тому +5

    7:27-8:43 is a whole video/message/sermon in itself! You went off! 🙏🏾

  • @charlottejones7341
    @charlottejones7341 11 місяців тому +3

    How can handy cap lady find a man when I am very I'll with seizures and I stay home, I am 61 and I like to cuddle and watch cowboy movie

  • @mertellatait9050
    @mertellatait9050 11 місяців тому +3

    So much wisdom in you sir

  • @maryblue4587
    @maryblue4587 11 місяців тому +3

    I learned so much from listening to you thank you my brother

  • @jeannettebanks2663
    @jeannettebanks2663 11 місяців тому +3

    Thank you for the knowledge 😊

  • @ZONDRAHARPER-i1q
    @ZONDRAHARPER-i1q 9 місяців тому +1

    VULNERABILITY=STUPIDITY

  • @odetamendes1943
    @odetamendes1943 10 місяців тому +1

    I’m currently in situation where I feel I give and give and he just takes it from me , I give my love to him but I don’t get non from him , (not enough) so I feel I’m getting to this point where I can’t take it no more and I’m started to detach. He tells me I’m a good gf , but I can’t tell the same about him being a good bf.

  • @TM-nb9zf
    @TM-nb9zf 11 місяців тому +2

    Dude START ON 10😂

  • @rochellethundercloud346
    @rochellethundercloud346 5 місяців тому

    Ace.
    You're right.
    I wasted 12 years of my life with a deadbeat loser.
    He does nothing for me at all.
    I had to fight him for literally $10 to do laundry,for God's sake.
    Yeah,no.
    Plus,every single time I cleaned,he would utterly trash the place.had me haul a heavy shopping cart up and down stairs,
    BY MYSELF.

  • @AshleyWashington-s2x
    @AshleyWashington-s2x 6 місяців тому +1

    🙏 AMEN

  • @latoyaking386
    @latoyaking386 11 місяців тому +2

    You are so right!!!

  • @sirpream.clientele
    @sirpream.clientele 10 місяців тому +1

    Damn, Derrick Jaxn got a brother...

  • @Taimillion73
    @Taimillion73 11 місяців тому +2

    One day I presented your videos to someone thinking progress. That person said I don’t watch those people. I thank myself for still listening to these videos you make for motivation. You inspire me I pray everyone feels the same way. God Bless! ❤🙏thank you @Ace

  • @skyeblue6751
    @skyeblue6751 6 місяців тому

    L❤ve This....I have this video on 'repeat" and will send to all my friends.
    Thank you very much!

  • @Amazing77712
    @Amazing77712 6 місяців тому

    I am so happy & blessed to watch your channel! My brothers are in Heaven and I definitely needed a reality check and know that my standards are right where they should be. I had to learn a hard unnecessary lesson and should have disqualified a fool as soon as I found out he lied, but he was begging and said/did all the others things. No! Even if you like him, termination his application! 😂

  • @Leah-h8u8i
    @Leah-h8u8i 8 місяців тому

    Telling myself no. I'm working on it. Encouragement anyone please? 😬 xxx
    I'll send you one of these 🙌 in return too if you need it xx 🙁
    Keep listening and listening yall until the pennie drops xxx keep up the good self work! X

  • @Donia-j8q
    @Donia-j8q 7 місяців тому

    Please I can u dont under stand everything ❤❤❤only God know what is going on 😊plese, l do love my self and I love him too and I know that he loves me too, but I am not God, the creater ❤❤❤❤❤peace

  • @QueenGoddessakaBlackBetty
    @QueenGoddessakaBlackBetty 15 днів тому

    Damn all that...stand 10 toes down on what you want

  • @ReadingsByDestiny
    @ReadingsByDestiny 11 місяців тому +1

    What part of the game is this!!!!!! Gave me goosebumps...

  • @cristinavillarreal912
    @cristinavillarreal912 7 місяців тому

    Should I lower my standards because he loves me BUT has less then what I have

  • @melissabelluci8242
    @melissabelluci8242 8 місяців тому

    This is a big slap in my face ! true facts iam hearing as it’s me I relate I was dating a guy who was not !

  • @cristinavillarreal912
    @cristinavillarreal912 9 місяців тому

    Why do men decide to have a side chick even though they say they love their girlfriend?

  • @sophiaf.
    @sophiaf. 10 місяців тому +1

    🙌🏾

  • @Damita3272
    @Damita3272 11 місяців тому +2

    Right 💯

  • @ellenringer5236
    @ellenringer5236 10 місяців тому +1

    Thank you, Ace. I was disappointed in Tony Gaskin's comments to you.

  • @Mara_143
    @Mara_143 11 місяців тому +1

    💯💯💯

  • @wanstar1771
    @wanstar1771 11 місяців тому +1

    🙌🏽Ace Thank 🫵🏼 Youuuuu‼️👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🥰 #FACTS

  • @UniqueSol504
    @UniqueSol504 11 місяців тому +1

    I just allow my actions to speak for me..time saver.

  • @janetlockley6811
    @janetlockley6811 11 місяців тому +1

    I am so happy Ace for you.! Everything's you're saying is so on point. I have been there done that!!

  • @Ladybug-zn9fw
    @Ladybug-zn9fw 11 місяців тому +1

    oh yes...God send this man🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

  • @dpharrison7
    @dpharrison7 11 місяців тому +6

    I found out the hard way I'm not about that life ,but lesson learned

  • @te7605
    @te7605 Місяць тому

    You are SO on point!

  • @charlottejones7341
    @charlottejones7341 11 місяців тому +2

    I am mentally delayed and I don't know what a relationship should be like

    • @tamz-b1h
      @tamz-b1h 11 місяців тому +1

      Even neurotypicals struggle with that. Best thing I can offer is to try dating within your community to avoid predators and help level the playing field. Best of luck❤

  • @charlottejones7341
    @charlottejones7341 11 місяців тому +1

    I am not a city girl and I can't go looking for anyone

  • @Mscoffiedash
    @Mscoffiedash 11 місяців тому +1

    Right

  • @cubanjavonne
    @cubanjavonne 11 місяців тому +1

    This is the realest relationship advice on UA-cam! 💯💯

  • @rachaelwilliamson6097
    @rachaelwilliamson6097 11 місяців тому +1

    The last 3 minutes. Owwwwww. Come on wit it!!

  • @kilaward3756
    @kilaward3756 4 місяці тому

    Good Stuff❤

  • @destinyf6982
    @destinyf6982 8 місяців тому

    ❤❤❤

  • @latushasmith1016
    @latushasmith1016 11 місяців тому

    ❤💯

  • @charlottejones7341
    @charlottejones7341 11 місяців тому +1

    I gave him a dear John letter, thank you so much for your information it will help me

  • @StrongmillzentWorld
    @StrongmillzentWorld 7 місяців тому

    Real talk

  • @laronagasper803
    @laronagasper803 11 місяців тому

    Oh hell yea ur right i work 2 jobs , and i had an alpha he put 2 engagement s ring on my finger, but he choose his family his children over his fiance then he was dumb an slow, but i left him i work 2 jobs already an own my own home he came with the money.. but dam he didnt fit my qualifications.

    • @laronagasper803
      @laronagasper803 11 місяців тому

      I dont go on a man telling me what to do... at all im the boss of me

  • @theblackphoenix447
    @theblackphoenix447 11 місяців тому +1

    👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

  • @wendymaciel7553
    @wendymaciel7553 8 місяців тому

    After a 4 year relationship, your right when you said a lot of men don't have good intentions. I remember my ex would belittle me, after we separated things just got worse. I realized that he never loved me.

  • @antoinetteadame0526
    @antoinetteadame0526 9 місяців тому

    Truth bombs galore. 💯🙌🏻. Thanks again for all you do. We are the prize. Keep remembering that

  • @deeholmes9743
    @deeholmes9743 11 місяців тому

    Nothing but facts! Can't make exceptions because you will regret it.

  • @ClassicOpinion
    @ClassicOpinion 11 місяців тому

    It’s my opinion:
    ~ well stated. Thank you for planting seeds in many for it is good to see” Iron sharpen iron”~
    FYI: your microphone was going in and out at the beginning of the video….

  • @herartsyexperince
    @herartsyexperince 11 місяців тому

    Thank you for this message darlin❤

  • @elainewilliams3114
    @elainewilliams3114 11 місяців тому

    I believe that you shouldn’t just settle is because u never no who wand up with

  • @terrylynp92
    @terrylynp92 11 місяців тому

    You speaking facts 14:00 and I needed to be reminded of this thank you

  • @laronagasper803
    @laronagasper803 11 місяців тому

    Oh hell yea ur right love im writting a book

  • @tarynwilliams8819
    @tarynwilliams8819 11 місяців тому

    Ace continue to do these tonight conversations

  • @madonnaperdue6682
    @madonnaperdue6682 11 місяців тому

    Great Commentary. The truth.

  • @cwoman2woman
    @cwoman2woman 11 місяців тому

    😂😂😂 I'm no city girl at all!

  • @taraminsalee6374
    @taraminsalee6374 11 місяців тому

    THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤😢😢😢😢😢😢😢❤

  • @KingB977
    @KingB977 10 місяців тому

    Love this

  • @davis947
    @davis947 11 місяців тому

    Absolutely the truth!

  • @janellbrittany1
    @janellbrittany1 11 місяців тому

    I’m ROLLING 😂😂😂😂

  • @charlottejones7341
    @charlottejones7341 11 місяців тому +2

    I am a beginner with relationship I don't know what to do

  • @Keyamazing
    @Keyamazing 11 місяців тому

    🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾❤️❤️🔥🔥

  • @snowhite77
    @snowhite77 11 місяців тому

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤