People always think abusing means only physical. But abusing mentally is more hurting than physical one which leaves a scar that never heals...Thanks to the whole team to create such a realistic story with so much meaning
Psychological , mental and emotional abuse are one of the most cruel things that can happen to a person . Just trying to figure it out that . 4 years of marriage and he just disappeared , ghosting . A very cruel narcissist . I was part of his plans but not of his life .
This is portrayed so well and sadly you don’t realise at first how you’re being controlled, bullied and put down. No one male or female has a right to treat another person like this. It’s a flaw in them not you!!
Get counseling , seek for help , keep going on . Best thing you can do is leave the past in the past . Don’t carry it anymore . You can do it . Best wishes for you . 💪❤️
It makes me realise how vulnerable us women are. Men can be so scary, and they are way stronger then us. Not so long ago women stood behind their husbands and that was all normal. But that's the end of a era now, almost. It can be hard to leave when you don't know where to get help and support .
But when you find the courage to stand up and say I'm leaving I can do better than you I deserve better they looked shocked you than know you have the power sadly for me Ill always think I'm no good can't do better I still believe that to this day but for others there is happyness to have
You have to just run. Tell them you are leaving and the bully will pull the trigger on the gun he has held to your head many times. Me husband found me and sons at shelter in Florida. I had shelter find me a shelter in Virginia where my family lived. He got therapy and deliverance needed. He changed totally. Only 1 percent of abusive relationships stay together. Married 33 years. After 11 horrid years became gentle. With right help we both healed.
Years ago , when I had delivered my second daughter , I had a very difficult labor. My bladder got down , I was bleeding extremely bad , a very serious hemorrhage . After a year of several doctor appointments finally they approved my surgery to fix my bladder . The attitude from my daughter’s father > “ You just like they see you down there “ and he was extremely upset and irritated . Finally one day I escaped with my mother help . I never saw him again . I waisted 17 from my best years .
I've been there. This flick makes me cry,,, remembering. But the message needs to go out, for people that are living it! You can get out, and start to heal, it takes awhile but we'll worth the time, still crying....but free
In my opinion, women in domestic violence relationships stay silent for many reasons. In my opinion, some women stay for financial reasons, may not know it's domestic violence that they are experiencing, don't know who to talk to and have no supports. I can relate to Donna because this is something I went through. I had no family supports and my finances were limited. I was finally able to save a little bit of money and left the relationship!
This video is really great! It always begins slowly, and people don't even realize that it's happening! It's all about control and manipulation. I left one abusive marriage and ended up in a second abusive marriage. A friend of mine pointed out what was going on. She was right and now I'm free! I got divorced! I'm finding myself again! I'm 72 years old. It's never too late.
yes i agree. so many children are falling victim to abusive behaviour from their parents and it needs to stop. More support provisions should be put in place for children suffering from abuse. Also it is even harder for children to recognise that they are being abused, as they trust their parents. So education in schools would be helpful. Im sure this happens in some schools already?
@@RedeemingOC Yeah it’s such a difficult situation as the kids NEED parental love, support etc in order to develop in a healthy way. I think you’re absolutely right that schools are in a unique position to be able to fill in some of the gaps and provide kids some of the needed psychological support and guidance that they arent getting at home and assess if further actions might be need to be considered in the case of outright abuse. Though in many, many cases of insidious abuse, parents who mistreat their children have no understanding of the damage they’re doing (some much more than others) or conceptualization of healthy parenting, even delusionally believing they are good parents, and when children start “misbehaving” or displaying mental health issues in response, it’s the children who are incorrectly assumed to have the problem and need help. Often parents are repeating dysfunctional patterns from their own childhoods because that’s all they know. Hence I think it’s even more important that PARENTS be educated as to the effects that certain parenting behaviors can have on children and taught healthy alternate paradigms - they need to know they are the ones that need to change, not their children. Not that that will always work or help, but the best case scenario for both children and parents would be to help the family become functional rather than dysfunctional, and it’s only the parents that have the power /maturity/ intellectual capability to change the dynamics. Also, I think our society needs to celebrate rather than denigrate those who don’t have children. Too many people have children for the wrong reasons and just shouldn’t.
You did a great job with showing all of the key points of abuse. I especially liked how it showed his moods being erratic right down to him controlling when her next appointment was. I'd actually love to do a review/commentary of this video on my channel if you wouldn't mind.. with full credits & link back of course, I've been looking for one that really has depth and this is perfect!
Hello yes you can do a review as long as you credit Sarah Mhlanga and Raie Films. Also if you could subscribe to both channels too and we can see your review . Many Thanks
@@sarahmhlanga1546 I'm so glad you left me a message because I didn't get the notification for this! I can absolutely do that, I'll sub to your channel as well and I will let you know when I get it finished, probably within the upcoming week. Thanks so much! -Michelle
Although less common, Men get trapped in abusive situations as well. I know of two right now. My mom was trapped, my dad got out his gun when she told him she was leaving w/ the kids. I think most often learning to take abuse is learned. On some level We feel as if that’s all we deserve. There are many many types of abuse, it can come from a boy or girlfriend, our parents, a friend or family, our adult kids, coworkers, or bosses. It’s all about another person’s efforts to control you. And people get very creative doing it. Ghosting, or ignoring you is also a form of abuse. It is not love at all. So if it’s happening to u, know that the person DoES NOT love you, but does want to control you. Save money, plan your escape, explain nothing, tell no one who may tell the abuser, just be gone, hide if necessary to stay safe.
You know, these kind of couple form because they „fit“ like a key in its lock. That lady in some way looks for a man that abuses her because it feels familiar, while a caring man doesn t. That is because, she was abused while growing up. Maybe her own father. The fact that you „don’t get it“ actually says that you don’t have that issue and for that, I am happy for you. Until that woman understands the reason why she is with him, she cannot heal and will not escape.
It’s because these men seem like the perfect guys- like in the scene when he got home from work and was super nice to her. They give you just that little bit of happiness and then rip it away
6:13, No, Hannah! It's not your fault. Scott shouldn't be putting his hands on you like that. You don't need his permission to do anything and he shouldn't be mad at you for doing something without asking him first. I mean look at you, Hannah. You're so beautiful and any injury Scott has inflicted on you doesn't belong there. You deserve much better than that, Hannah. You did nothing to deserve this. Nothing! Do you hear me? You need to tell your family about what Scott is doing to you, you need to go the cops and press charges and you need to break up with him. I mean I know you love him and you think he loves you too but the things he does to you don't show it. You deserve much better than that, you know?
Thanks so much for your reply. It is so good to hear that you see the injustice of Scott’s behaviour. In this film we are both actors, acting to a script. So you will be encouraged to know this has not really happened to Hannah. But it does happen to so many women and men and we made this film to help break these patterns and give victims confidence to stand up and say no and get free.
@@sarahmhlanga1546 You are a really beautiful actor though. You look naturally empathic and Scott as an actor ...well I'm a woman, not bad at all he looks.
For a long time l only though that domestic abuse resulted in physical abuse. When l sort help from a woman's refuge l was surprised they didn't ask to see my bruises. I now realise there are other kinds of abuse. Shouting sarcasm threats controlling behaviours ect that don't leave physical marks. There needs to be more awareness of this kind of abuse. Also it not only couples sons abuse mothers too.
We agree. We are working hard to try and raise the awareness through film and through drama . We can do it and will keep on making content that shows the damage of abuse
We also need people to subscribe to help show their support , giving us more support to be able to make more videos like this that road awareness of all kind of abuse , so people are educated and informed about what abuse is and you’re right, not always physical
Well done everyone for bringing into to light this terrible reality for those who suffer. The statics are really high. It was a difficult watch but an important watch.
I encountered a situation where the woman of the house answered the door and dealt with the tradesman (me) while her man sat on the couch stuffing his face with a takeout salad. While she was talking to me, he loudly interrupted her, without looking up from his food. If he was going to leave her to answer the door and deal with me, he should not have been interfering with what she was saying. I looked him up, and found that he was an Ivy League grad, former US Marines captain, and a big-shot financier. A few months later, I was there again, and she'd kicked him out. The pandemic was too isolating for him, and he stared drinking. He needed to be in charge of everyone all the time, and working from home meant he had nobody there to boss around....except her, and she wouldn't take it from him.
No and I mean no human being deserves to be treated this way. I do want a family of my own but I fear of choosing the wrong path. I rather take it slow and take care of myself until he is there waiting for his future mate
So true . You should always know your self worth and not let anyone take that away from you. We give you all the blessing as you take your time to love yourself and in the future in good timing , you will meet someone who loves you unconditionally and values you .
These abusers are controlling, they will control you financially, mentally and emotionally, some men can't except that you don't want them back in your life because of how they have treated you, years of mental abuse and also physical, purposely making you struggle, while they sleep around with many women, taking drugs and when you confront them they get physical, and when you think your eventually free from them, they will use whoever they can to mentally abuse you, trash you as a person so no other man may want you, because they just can't bare to see you with someone who will treat you the way a woman should be treated, show you what love and protection is, the scars that are left behind are not just physical, its easier for physical scars to heal, its the mental scars which may never heal and the impact it has on the children is painful, but these abusers are so selfish they do not care about how they effect their children, because they are more interested in sleeping around and taking drugs, i can forgive but never forget and i'm sure its the same for many other women.
My heart goes out to you and any woman who has suffered from this kind of abuse. No one deserves to be treated that way. I'm so sorry you went through such a traumatic situation. The scars of mental and emotional abuse can cut so deep and be hard to heal from. I admire your strength and courage for surviving it. It's awful how controlling and manipulative some abusers can be, chipping away at a woman's sense of self-worth. And using tactics to isolate her and prevent her from moving on is despicable. You're so right that the impact on the children is also devastating. I'm glad you mentioned how important it is to not forget, even as we try to forgive. Bringing awareness to these patterns of abuse is so important to help other women recognize red flags early on. Your experience and perspective could give hope and strength to others who may feel alone in what they're going through. Wishing you continued healing. Don't let that abuser continue to have power over you - you are strong and deserve happiness." In this sympathetic response, I aimed to validate her experience, express caring/concern, acknowledge the trauma, praise her strength and courage, agree about raising awareness, and wish her well in healing and moving forward. The goal is to provide emotional support and solidarity.
Two weeks ago my husband shouted at me and he was angry that i am afraid he hurt me physically. He didn’t say really sorry for what happened, only hug. But now i see it is not okay
Awww! Poor lady. She can’t even be honest with him about buying clothes for an interview because he’s gonna flip out. Why can’t she get a job?? So mean.
Emotional abuse is painful but so is physical abuse. To those that think emotional abuse is worst of the two try telling that to victims of acid attacks or thoss that have stab wounds, bullet wounds etc. Both forms of abuse hurt. Neither is greater or lesser than the other.
I love your acting. I feel sad for hannah, she suppose not be like that. But i know, hannah don’t have her own money, no job so she will always trap by scott . She scared but she cannot do anything. 😢
Thank you. Yes you’re right she is very scared and this is how he maintains control. We want women to recognise the signs of coercive control by watching this film, so they can then gain some strength to get out of this kind of relationship.
Why not make a Part 2 of this? Even at the very end of this video, he is STILL getting away with whatever he wants to do with her! Make a Part 2 where the cops come after his ass! She's too afraid to even report it! How sad!
This sends a very powerful message Sarah. You portrayed the character with truth and I really connected with you. Well done you should be so proud. Great work Sarah ❤️XX
These story very disturbing, and very upsetting, this man was extremely cruel and Very violent This was absolutely terrible and Very difficult to watch I hope this Woman was okay and I glad she left to Survive this terrible situation this very violent situation Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man tough... Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man strong... Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man cool... Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man a man.... I believe in the Safety and Well-being Women, Children, and Men WOMEN Have the RIGHT to FEEL SAFE and BE SAFE This is a reply post regarding a article on Assault Against Woman: For what is statistically true, or accurate, and even what is not included statistically, and all other crime such as this is what is ( violence against women) Always unacceptable... Women have the Right to Feel SAFE and be Safe... No woman..., or person....child...should ever have to experience this kind heinous personal intrusion in their lifetime, this seems to be occurring at least according to news reports more, and all to often. Actually this activity should be in a stage, or state of Reversal, and NOT Increasing, I am continually upset as well as greatly disturbed in hearing such stories, as I have always have been... My Heart Always... goes out to any person which have experienced any such similar experience of intrusion, attacks, and, or invasion of their personal well-being... due violence, and or violent behavior, I will continue Praying for the Safety and Well-Being of Others... Keep everyone SAFE PLEASE BE SAFE Your Life is important Advocate of Humanity, Author, Writer, Poet, Safety Advocate Jason Sandifer, Michigan MESSAGE REPOSTED
When your brought up being abused it can take years to bellive that it's not ok, and that you deserve better. Until your in that situation it's hard to understand.
I try too stay away from abuses man's if you listen there's all kinds of signs he controlling on you're first date!and if anyman puts his hands on me I'm hitting him back and I let man's know right away if he hit me he's going too jail one thing about my mother she never aloud anymans too disrespect her or hit on her!
Please don't feel like there is nothing you can do. The first step is the hardest but you have to take it. Confide in someone you trust and get the help you need. You are not alone.
Please contact a women's refuse. Be brave take the step forward, do it for your kids . Don't let them be raised in a traumatic home life. You will get peace , my sister left her husband and she is loving her life. Good luck. He is a nobody he is a randomer you met out and about you owe him nothing sack him. 😀
My husband and I escaped abuse from both of our parents. They were alcoholics mean horrible drunks. We’re trying to figure out what to do next. I was in this situation with my ex boyfriend when I was 14 and 15. But my parents were there to support me. But they emancipated me at 15. So I guess that’s when the drinking began. Same with my husbands parents.
@1:35, as he's frantically searching for the emergency money he stashed away, she LIES and asks, "What money?", when she knew damn well that she took the money and spent it on herself. No man should EVER hit or be abusive to a woman and no woman should EVER hit or be abusive to a man. At the very end it states that 1-in-3 women experience domestic abuse AND ALSO that 1-in-4 men experience domestic abuse. I have NEVER seen a film that involves a woman abusing a man, as this is considered taboo and frowned upon; making the man appear as a wimp.
Thank you for watching. This was written from a true experience from a woman who also happens to be one of the cast. But you are right, this happens to men to and we would love to one day make a film that highlights this.
yup, if only I could be a better wife, not be so loud, don't cry, don't laugh, always it was my fault...I was too fat (size 2), i was crazy, bad cook, the list is too long to mention...then I realized, it wasn't my fault...
If you need to go back and live with them in order to feel safe and free to be who you are, then go back. Also there are so many charities who help, likes Tdas
I'm not even allowed to go to the kitchen to get something to drink and eat. After I literally faint he makes me food or a coffee. I worry if something was serious with me if he would just leave me for dead...I'm so confused and scared. I Love him, is that weird?
It sounds like you are in a difficult and potentially dangerous situation. It is not okay for someone to restrict your access to basic needs like food and drink, and it is especially concerning that they only provide those things for you after you faint. It's understandable that you feel confused and scared, and it's important to prioritize your safety and well-being. It's natural to have conflicting feelings when you are in a complex situation like this, but please remember that love should never come at the expense of your physical or emotional health. You deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and care. It may be helpful to reach out to a trusted friend or family member for support, or to consider speaking with a professional counselor or therapist who can help you navigate your feelings and options.
You need to contact women’s shelter, ASP I know it’s hard for you to think straight but you are in a very abusive situation and you need help. Search on line ask a policeman if you see one. Good luck hope you can get out soon. ❤
It's Narcissistic mind games! Then he goes and cheats with other supplies so he picks a fight! Then he hoes around with another supply that he's grooming! It's a con game!
You don’t have to do much better at making it easier for him. He needs to learn how to speak to you appropriately and how to treat you with kindness and respect. It’s not all his money. It’s yours too.
😐 "The film highlights the different levels/types of abuse women or men may experience in an abusive relationship." Men? What men? When? Where? But we have to say that, don't we? It's like making clear that all ethnicities, faiths, pets and visitors from Venus are welcome in your Morris Dancing band. This is a worthy and laudable effort, truly, well above the polemic norm; even if to be blunt a little shallow or facile (for either "men or women"). What would have made it twice as courageous would have been to have it portray the male victims of female domestic violence, whose psychological traumas and physical scars persist for life - if, in fact, the victims have not been dumped six feet under. How should I know? Because I made a study of one of our society's most virulent taboos, growing in potency with every passing month, following what had been done to me and to other men I know. My own destruction started at the age of three or four, coming from what would later be diagnosed as "a typical low-grade sociopath". If only it had ended there... Am I saying that two wrongs make a right? Of course I'm not. But what chance would a film about brutality against men have of getting past the story-board, even if this accounts for forty percent of the domestic violence total? Let alone, of being automatically nominated for Goody Two Shoes awards where Good Two Shoes can squat smugly on their cosy cushions and see their Goody Two Shoes smugness affirmed. (You've not been nominated yet? Astonishing - just give it time!) Next time I come onto UA-cam without signing in, I shall see my comment demoted quietly to where it deserves to stand: at the absolute bottom of the list. That's how we deal with people nowadays who say naughty or nasty things, and fill the room with the moral equivalent of a bad smell. Let's pretend they don't exist, and with luck they'll go away. "Lift going down, ladies and gents." What both women and men who suffer gaslighting, social isolation, brutalisation and the myriad other manifestations of emotional control need, is something a lot beefier than Middle Class Twee. Instead of dawdling with squeaky worthy quickies on your laptop, why not go out and talk to the survivors of Domestic Violence, yourself? Even if they happen to be ("Block your ears, Charmaine; now there's a good girl") m-e-n?
I've never known any different parents treated me like shit so I thought it was normal so since the age of 15 to 48 mental physical emotional rape so much that I don't trust any man or person I'm way to damaged
Its ALL your fault! You went for the guy that would beat on you while leaving the one guy who cared about you AND YOU KNEW IT! You treated the guy who loved you with contempt and proved that you arent worth anything. Its YOUR fault.
I understand the concern behind your question. There can certainly be overlap between people who abuse power in domestic relationships and those who are abusive managers. However, I would caution against assuming all abusive managers are also domestic abusers. Each situation is complex. While some studies do suggest a potential link between domestic abuse and workplace bullying, it's important not to stereotype. Many factors contribute to unacceptable behavior. Some managers may resort to bullying tactics because of high stress, lack of leadership skills, or warped perspectives on achieving results. That doesn't excuse the abuse of authority, but understanding root causes can lead to more effective solutions. Regardless of the reason, abuse is never okay. I sympathize with anyone suffering mistreatment by a partner, boss or colleague. Every person deserves to feel safe and respected. If someone is being abused at home or work, there are resources available to get help and support. By raising awareness compassionately, we can create positive change. Does this help provide a thoughtful perspective? I aimed to validate concerns but avoid unfair generalizations.
I was in a nasty relationship for years she even stabbed me . I should have know she was a glue sniffing acholic . It took me 4 years to just walk away . It is hard to just leave. A relationship is about both of you not one sided. but why doesn't the short film make one ware the man gets abused as it's not just a one sided thing .
Statistically, the situation in the short reflects the majority of cases. This is from a group that is assisting awareness for women in these types of situations. Perhaps you could help to start an organization to raise awareness of men in these situations!
She had no right to spend the emergency money in the first place. She also spends what scott provides for her quite happily. The car, the house, even the grooming sessions. If she was really empowered and wants to do the job to pay for her share she should be fair to do it 50-50. Not just get a job and feel happy to be out pf doing her wifely duties. If she wanted to get a job, she should have graced Scott with a clear, civilised conversation about it in the first place rather than feel like a victim and also spending his emergency money and wanting to bumbling off to the interview especially when he was not comfortable about her taking the favour of another man. I agree that when scott hit her and cancelled her card it was definitely not acceptable but how would she like it if Scott was talking to some female that she did not like??
He didn't want her to get a job so she could be financially dependent on him and he could be in control. He thinks she should be great full for the things he does for her even though he wont let her work. Did you actually watch the video? Or are you deliberately being stupid?
This is a okay short film but not all women or people that are in relationships like these are gonna see this movie and actually leave they relationship lol because not all women needs to be saved duh 🙄
![Caged In [Extended Version] - Award winning Domestic Violence short film (2016)](/img/n.gif)
People always think abusing means only physical. But abusing mentally is more hurting than physical one which leaves a scar that never heals...Thanks to the whole team to create such a realistic story with so much meaning
So glad you found it impactful
He thinks hes A realist but doesn see that everyone knows his wife is a Domestic Violence victim
Psychological , mental and emotional abuse are one of the most cruel things that can happen to a person . Just trying to figure it out that . 4 years of marriage and he just disappeared , ghosting . A very cruel narcissist . I was part of his plans but not of his life .
Very true
This is portrayed so well and sadly you don’t realise at first how you’re being controlled, bullied and put down. No one male or female has a right to treat another person like this. It’s a flaw in them not you!!
As a survivor I found the mental abuse harder to come to terms with. You see Bruises and cuts heal but you can't get the words out of your head.
I agree I’m so sorry you have been through that and I hope this film empowers you to not let any of his/her words have any impact on you
Get counseling , seek for help , keep going on . Best thing you can do is leave the past in the past . Don’t carry it anymore . You can do it . Best wishes for you . 💪❤️
I'm so sorry you went through all that. Jesus loves you and so do I.
A
@@Lisa-mg3msso I guess my recipes
It makes me realise how vulnerable us women are.
Men can be so scary, and they are way stronger then us.
Not so long ago women stood behind their husbands and that was all normal.
But that's the end of a era now, almost.
It can be hard to leave when you don't know where to get help and support .
But when you find the courage to stand up and say I'm leaving I can do better than you I deserve better they looked shocked you than know you have the power sadly for me Ill always think I'm no good can't do better I still believe that to this day but for others there is happyness to have
You have to just run. Tell them you are leaving and the bully will pull the trigger on the gun he has held to your head many times. Me husband found me and sons at shelter in Florida. I had shelter find me a shelter in Virginia where my family lived. He got therapy and deliverance needed. He changed totally. Only 1 percent of abusive relationships stay together. Married 33 years. After 11 horrid years became gentle. With right help we both healed.
Years ago , when I had delivered my second daughter , I had a very difficult labor. My bladder got down , I was bleeding extremely bad , a very serious hemorrhage . After a year of several doctor appointments finally they approved my surgery to fix my bladder . The attitude from my daughter’s father > “ You just like they see you down there “ and he was extremely upset and irritated . Finally one day I escaped with my mother help . I never saw him again . I waisted 17 from my best years .
❤
I've been there. This flick makes me cry,,, remembering. But the message needs to go out, for people that are living it! You can get out, and start to heal, it takes awhile but we'll worth the time, still crying....but free
It does and I hope it opens peoples eyes to be able to identify all forms of abuse and escape them
In my opinion, women in domestic violence relationships stay silent for many reasons. In my opinion, some women stay for financial reasons, may not know it's domestic violence that they are experiencing, don't know who to talk to and have no supports.
I can relate to Donna because this is something I went through. I had no family supports and my finances were limited. I was finally able to save a little bit of money and left the relationship!
I'm so sorry
Well done , I'm pleased you walked away. It's no way to live a life. 😀
Thanks for bringing awareness to toxic relationships, really well done
Thank you
This is a good way to put abuse in the spotlight. No one ever deserves to be treated like this. xx
Thank you. A-lot of people don't realise that abuse is not always just physical.
I know the feeling my ex was like that I had to ask permission for everything the involved money
This video is really great! It always begins slowly, and people don't even realize that it's happening! It's all about control and manipulation. I left one abusive marriage and ended up in a second abusive marriage. A friend of mine pointed out what was going on. She was right and now I'm free! I got divorced! I'm finding myself again! I'm 72 years old. It's never too late.
Thank you for sharing and thank you for your support of the film.
They are both really good actors. Realistically portrayed.
Fiscal control, one of an abusers favorites.
Very true
Show these films in schools. Teach children how to recognise abuse - teach them to be confident to stand up for themselves and not be abused.
What may be worse is when parents treat children - young or grown - like this. That, too, is abuse and even more confusing and insidious.
yes i agree. so many children are falling victim to abusive behaviour from their parents and it needs to stop. More support provisions should be put in place for children suffering from abuse. Also it is even harder for children to recognise that they are being abused, as they trust their parents. So education in schools would be helpful. Im sure this happens in some schools already?
@@RedeemingOC Yeah it’s such a difficult situation as the kids NEED parental love, support etc in order to develop in a healthy way. I think you’re absolutely right that schools are in a unique position to be able to fill in some of the gaps and provide kids some of the needed psychological support and guidance that they arent getting at home and assess if further actions might be need to be considered in the case of outright abuse.
Though in many, many cases of insidious abuse, parents who mistreat their children have no understanding of the damage they’re doing (some much more than others) or conceptualization of healthy parenting, even delusionally believing they are good parents, and when children start “misbehaving” or displaying mental health issues in response, it’s the children who are incorrectly assumed to have the problem and need help. Often parents are repeating dysfunctional patterns from their own childhoods because that’s all they know. Hence I think it’s even more important that PARENTS be educated as to the effects that certain parenting behaviors can have on children and taught healthy alternate paradigms - they need to know they are the ones that need to change, not their children.
Not that that will always work or help, but the best case scenario for both children and parents would be to help the family become functional rather than dysfunctional, and it’s only the parents that have the power /maturity/ intellectual capability to change the dynamics.
Also, I think our society needs to celebrate rather than denigrate those who don’t have children. Too many people have children for the wrong reasons and just shouldn’t.
You did a great job with showing all of the key points of abuse. I especially liked how it showed his moods being erratic right down to him controlling when her next appointment was. I'd actually love to do a review/commentary of this video on my channel if you wouldn't mind.. with full credits & link back of course, I've been looking for one that really has depth and this is perfect!
Hello yes you can do a review as long as you credit Sarah Mhlanga and Raie Films. Also if you could subscribe to both channels too and we can see your review . Many Thanks
@@sarahmhlanga1546 I'm so glad you left me a message because I didn't get the notification for this! I can absolutely do that, I'll sub to your channel as well and I will let you know when I get it finished, probably within the upcoming week. Thanks so much! -Michelle
@@sarahmhlanga1546 Actually, could you drop me an email at chronicgrace.hq@gmail.com ? I have a quick but important question. Thanks!
Very painful…because it is common….thanks for this film!🙏
It’s hard to watch but a message that needs to get circulated, in order to encourage more people to not suffer in silence x
totally agree with you. The message about coercive control was very true to life as shown in the film.
Although less common, Men get trapped in abusive situations as well. I know of two right now. My mom was trapped, my dad got out his gun when she told him she was leaving w/ the kids. I think most often learning to take abuse is learned. On some level We feel as if that’s all we deserve. There are many many types of abuse, it can come from a boy or girlfriend, our parents, a friend or family, our adult kids, coworkers, or bosses. It’s all about another person’s efforts to control you. And people get very creative doing it. Ghosting, or ignoring you is also a form of abuse. It is not love at all. So if it’s happening to u, know that the person DoES NOT love you, but does want to control you. Save money, plan your escape, explain nothing, tell no one who may tell the abuser, just be gone, hide if necessary to stay safe.
Very powerful and well written. Accurate.
Thanks so much
A short video with a priceless message 😍🕊️
Thank you
What i dont get is there are plenty caring men and women who are single and then there are men like scott who has someone.
Exactly and doesn’t value Hannah for who she is
You know, these kind of couple form because they „fit“ like a key in its lock. That lady in some way looks for a man that abuses her because it feels familiar, while a caring man doesn t. That is because, she was abused while growing up. Maybe her own father. The fact that you „don’t get it“ actually says that you don’t have that issue and for that, I am happy for you. Until that woman understands the reason why she is with him, she cannot heal and will not escape.
If you know a caring man find me one. I am almost 40 and still haven't found one. They don't exist....nice guys don't like me
Because they just keep on glauwming on!
It’s because these men seem like the perfect guys- like in the scene when he got home from work and was super nice to her. They give you just that little bit of happiness and then rip it away
6:13, No, Hannah! It's not your fault. Scott shouldn't be putting his hands on you like that. You don't need his permission to do anything and he shouldn't be mad at you for doing something without asking him first. I mean look at you, Hannah. You're so beautiful and any injury Scott has inflicted on you doesn't belong there. You deserve much better than that, Hannah. You did nothing to deserve this. Nothing! Do you hear me? You need to tell your family about what Scott is doing to you, you need to go the cops and press charges and you need to break up with him. I mean I know you love him and you think he loves you too but the things he does to you don't show it. You deserve much better than that, you know?
Thanks so much for your reply. It is so good to hear that you see the injustice of Scott’s behaviour. In this film we are both actors, acting to a script. So you will be encouraged to know this has not really happened to Hannah. But it does happen to so many women and men and we made this film to help break these patterns and give victims confidence to stand up and say no and get free.
Calm down it's acting
@@sarahmhlanga1546 You are a really beautiful actor though. You look naturally empathic and Scott as an actor ...well I'm a woman, not bad at all he looks.
For a long time l only though that domestic abuse resulted in physical abuse. When l sort help from a woman's refuge l was surprised they didn't ask to see my bruises. I now realise there are other kinds of abuse. Shouting sarcasm threats controlling behaviours ect that don't leave physical marks. There needs to be more awareness of this kind of abuse. Also it not only couples sons abuse mothers too.
We agree. We are working hard to try and raise the awareness through film and through drama . We can do it and will keep on making content that shows the damage of abuse
We also need people to subscribe to help show their support , giving us more support to be able to make more videos like this that road awareness of all kind of abuse , so people are educated and informed about what abuse is and you’re right, not always physical
Well done everyone for bringing into to light this terrible reality for those who suffer. The statics are really high. It was a difficult watch but an important watch.
Thank you
I encountered a situation where the woman of the house answered the door and dealt with the tradesman (me) while her man sat on the couch stuffing his face with a takeout salad. While she was talking to me, he loudly interrupted her, without looking up from his food. If he was going to leave her to answer the door and deal with me, he should not have been interfering with what she was saying. I looked him up, and found that he was an Ivy League grad, former US Marines captain, and a big-shot financier. A few months later, I was there again, and she'd kicked him out. The pandemic was too isolating for him, and he stared drinking. He needed to be in charge of everyone all the time, and working from home meant he had nobody there to boss around....except her, and she wouldn't take it from him.
Men and women do not deserve this. A relationship should be built on love and trust not hate and anger.
No and I mean no human being deserves to be treated this way. I do want a family of my own but I fear of choosing the wrong path. I rather take it slow and take care of myself until he is there waiting for his future mate
So true . You should always know your self worth and not let anyone take that away from you. We give you all the blessing as you take your time to love yourself and in the future in good timing , you will meet someone who loves you unconditionally and values you .
These abusers are controlling, they will control you financially, mentally and emotionally, some men can't except that you don't want them back in your life because of how they have treated you, years of mental abuse and also physical, purposely making you struggle, while they sleep around with many women, taking drugs and when you confront them they get physical, and when you think your eventually free from them, they will use whoever they can to mentally abuse you, trash you as a person so no other man may want you, because they just can't bare to see you with someone who will treat you the way a woman should be treated, show you what love and protection is, the scars that are left behind are not just physical, its easier for physical scars to heal, its the mental scars which may never heal and the impact it has on the children is painful, but these abusers are so selfish they do not care about how they effect their children, because they are more interested in sleeping around and taking drugs, i can forgive but never forget and i'm sure its the same for many other women.
My heart goes out to you and any woman who has suffered from this kind of abuse. No one deserves to be treated that way. I'm so sorry you went through such a traumatic situation. The scars of mental and emotional abuse can cut so deep and be hard to heal from. I admire your strength and courage for surviving it.
It's awful how controlling and manipulative some abusers can be, chipping away at a woman's sense of self-worth. And using tactics to isolate her and prevent her from moving on is despicable. You're so right that the impact on the children is also devastating.
I'm glad you mentioned how important it is to not forget, even as we try to forgive. Bringing awareness to these patterns of abuse is so important to help other women recognize red flags early on. Your experience and perspective could give hope and strength to others who may feel alone in what they're going through. Wishing you continued healing. Don't let that abuser continue to have power over you - you are strong and deserve happiness."
In this sympathetic response, I aimed to validate her experience, express caring/concern, acknowledge the trauma, praise her strength and courage, agree about raising awareness, and wish her well in healing and moving forward. The goal is to provide emotional support and solidarity.
Two weeks ago my husband shouted at me and he was angry that i am afraid he hurt me physically. He didn’t say really sorry for what happened, only hug. But now i see it is not okay
No it's not ok!
Well done sara
Mesmerising performance 👍👌
Thanks Shawn
Awww! Poor lady. She can’t even be honest with him about buying clothes for an interview because he’s gonna flip out. Why can’t she get a job?? So mean.
He doesn’t want her going because that’s a step closer to leaving him, and he knows it.
In his mind if she leaves to get the job, then she is free and can get attention from other men.
Emotional abuse is painful but so is physical abuse. To those that think emotional abuse is worst of the two try telling that to victims of acid attacks or thoss that have stab wounds, bullet wounds etc.
Both forms of abuse hurt. Neither is greater or lesser than the other.
I love your acting. I feel sad for hannah, she suppose not be like that. But i know, hannah don’t have her own money, no job so she will always trap by scott . She scared but she cannot do anything. 😢
Thank you. Yes you’re right she is very scared and this is how he maintains control. We want women to recognise the signs of coercive control by watching this film, so they can then gain some strength to get out of this kind of relationship.
Why not make a Part 2 of this? Even at the very end of this video, he is STILL getting away with whatever he wants to do with her! Make a Part 2 where the cops come after his ass! She's too afraid to even report it! How sad!
Good idea. But we want people to watch it and realise they can do something about it and report to cops if they see this kind of behaviour
@@sarahmhlanga1546We need a part 2
I want to that bastard man get what’s coming to him
Yes! We need part 2
@@Emma-belle That’s right
This sends a very powerful message Sarah. You portrayed the character with truth and I really connected with you. Well done you should be so proud. Great work Sarah ❤️XX
Thanks Dawn.
I connected with the message too. Domestic violence is not always physical
Girl u better stand up for yourself, i will never be treated like this. Dude would have got punched in the face.
Ya, and you would have gone to jail, because he'd have you arrested!
@victoryamartin9773 oh well, that is why they have bond. Sometimes in life it is necessary and worth it 💯 when protecting yourself.
that was a tough watch, but it was essential to see. Very well acted.
Powerful stuff
Why do they always show the man as the abuser? There are also women who abuse men.
This is because there is a higher percentage of male abusers and also this was written by the woman who went through the experience.
Thanks for rising awareness with your great video,about this plague of domestic abuse. Blessings 🌟
Thank you 😊
Super difficult to watch, but you nailed this.
Thank you xx
These story very disturbing, and very upsetting, this man was extremely cruel and Very violent
This was absolutely terrible and Very difficult to watch
I hope this Woman was okay and I glad she left to Survive this terrible situation this very violent situation
Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man tough...
Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man strong...
Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man cool...
Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man a man....
I believe in the Safety and Well-being Women, Children, and Men
WOMEN Have the RIGHT to FEEL SAFE and BE SAFE
This is a reply post regarding a article on Assault Against Woman:
For what is statistically true, or accurate, and even what is not included statistically, and all other crime such as this is what is ( violence against women) Always unacceptable...
Women have the Right to Feel SAFE and be Safe...
No woman..., or person....child...should ever have to experience this kind heinous personal intrusion in their lifetime, this seems to be occurring at least according to news reports more, and all to often.
Actually this activity should be in a stage, or state of Reversal, and NOT Increasing, I am continually upset as well as greatly disturbed in hearing such stories, as I have always have been...
My Heart Always... goes out to any person which have experienced any such similar experience of intrusion, attacks, and, or invasion of their personal well-being... due violence, and or violent behavior,
I will continue Praying for the Safety and Well-Being of Others...
Keep everyone SAFE
PLEASE BE SAFE
Your Life is important
Advocate of Humanity, Author, Writer, Poet, Safety Advocate
Jason Sandifer,
Michigan
MESSAGE REPOSTED
Amazing work ! Great message
Thank you so much Leen
Mental, emotional, psychological, financial and physical.
When your brought up being abused it can take years to bellive that it's not ok, and that you deserve better.
Until your in that situation it's hard to understand.
I try too stay away from abuses man's if you listen there's all kinds of signs he controlling on you're first date!and if anyman puts his hands on me I'm hitting him back and I let man's know right away if he hit me he's going too jail one thing about my mother she never aloud anymans too disrespect her or hit on her!
I AM LIVING THIS LIFE. I NEED TO GET OUT
Get the help you need and be brave.
He doesn't want her to smile at anything, be happy, because he is an unhappy person.
This is the life am living right now,I feel like exhausted I don't know what to do and I have 2kids no job ..
Please don't feel like there is nothing you can do. The first step is the hardest but you have to take it. Confide in someone you trust and get the help you need. You are not alone.
Please contact a women's refuse. Be brave take the step forward, do it for your kids . Don't let them be raised in a traumatic home life. You will get peace , my sister left her husband and she is loving her life. Good luck. He is a nobody he is a randomer you met out and about you owe him nothing sack him. 😀
For anyone who likes reading, there are two books, Wild at Heart and Captivating by John Eldredge.
Thank you
My husband and I escaped abuse from both of our parents. They were alcoholics mean horrible drunks. We’re trying to figure out what to do next. I was in this situation with my ex boyfriend when I was 14 and 15. But my parents were there to support me. But they emancipated me at 15. So I guess that’s when the drinking began. Same with my husbands parents.
That brought back memories.
:(
That was happened to me. Thanks for Video!
So sorry this happened to you. This is a serious issue and it was important to highlight it.
Years, if ever
@1:35, as he's frantically searching for the emergency money he stashed away, she LIES and asks, "What money?", when she knew damn well that she took the money and spent it on herself. No man should EVER hit or be abusive to a woman and no woman should EVER hit or be abusive to a man. At the very end it states that 1-in-3 women experience domestic abuse AND ALSO that 1-in-4 men experience domestic abuse. I have NEVER seen a film that involves a woman abusing a man, as this is considered taboo and frowned upon; making the man appear as a wimp.
Thank you for watching. This was written from a true experience from a woman who also happens to be one of the cast. But you are right, this happens to men to and we would love to one day make a film that highlights this.
yup, if only I could be a better wife, not be so loud, don't cry, don't laugh, always it was my fault...I was too fat (size 2), i was crazy, bad cook, the list is too long to mention...then I realized, it wasn't my fault...
I miss living with my parents .
If you need to go back and live with them in order to feel safe and free to be who you are, then go back. Also there are so many charities who help, likes Tdas
I know that one😢
I can understand the anger... Emergency cash is a serious thing.
She wouldn’t have needed the emergency cash if he hadn’t been financially abusing her
he probably had none of her own because he took it from her
well done... unfortunately i've experienced this from the other side of the gender divide. 😑
Hope you got away from your situation, don't let anyone treat you badly at least you know what to look out for. Stand up for your self. Take care.🤗
I'm not even allowed to go to the kitchen to get something to drink and eat. After I literally faint he makes me food or a coffee. I worry if something was serious with me if he would just leave me for dead...I'm so confused and scared. I Love him, is that weird?
It sounds like you are in a difficult and potentially dangerous situation. It is not okay for someone to restrict your access to basic needs like food and drink, and it is especially concerning that they only provide those things for you after you faint. It's understandable that you feel confused and scared, and it's important to prioritize your safety and well-being.
It's natural to have conflicting feelings when you are in a complex situation like this, but please remember that love should never come at the expense of your physical or emotional health. You deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and care. It may be helpful to reach out to a trusted friend or family member for support, or to consider speaking with a professional counselor or therapist who can help you navigate your feelings and options.
You need to contact women’s shelter, ASP I know it’s hard for you to think straight but you are in a very abusive situation and you need help. Search on line ask a policeman if you see one. Good luck hope you can get out soon. ❤
Please leave that relationship
It's Narcissistic mind games! Then he goes and cheats with other supplies so he picks a fight! Then he hoes around with another supply that he's grooming! It's a con game!
You don’t have to do much better at making it easier for him. He needs to learn how to speak to you appropriately and how to treat you with kindness and respect. It’s not all his money. It’s yours too.
Isn't she the Meghan Markle look alike?
5:08 "Do i nOt giv yuo enohah honah?!"
No se como llegue a este contenido, en mi vida he tenido este tipo de relaciones, a la primera 🚩 salgo corriendo y a mi edad menos la tendré 🌸
If part of your wholebeing been abused get out while you are still alive!😢
😐 "The film highlights the different levels/types of abuse women or men may experience in an abusive relationship." Men? What men? When? Where? But we have to say that, don't we? It's like making clear that all ethnicities, faiths, pets and visitors from Venus are welcome in your Morris Dancing band.
This is a worthy and laudable effort, truly, well above the polemic norm; even if to be blunt a little shallow or facile (for either "men or women"). What would have made it twice as courageous would have been to have it portray the male victims of female domestic violence, whose psychological traumas and physical scars persist for life - if, in fact, the victims have not been dumped six feet under. How should I know? Because I made a study of one of our society's most virulent taboos, growing in potency with every passing month, following what had been done to me and to other men I know. My own destruction started at the age of three or four, coming from what would later be diagnosed as "a typical low-grade sociopath". If only it had ended there...
Am I saying that two wrongs make a right? Of course I'm not. But what chance would a film about brutality against men have of getting past the story-board, even if this accounts for forty percent of the domestic violence total? Let alone, of being automatically nominated for Goody Two Shoes awards where Good Two Shoes can squat smugly on their cosy cushions and see their Goody Two Shoes smugness affirmed. (You've not been nominated yet? Astonishing - just give it time!)
Next time I come onto UA-cam without signing in, I shall see my comment demoted quietly to where it deserves to stand: at the absolute bottom of the list. That's how we deal with people nowadays who say naughty or nasty things, and fill the room with the moral equivalent of a bad smell. Let's pretend they don't exist, and with luck they'll go away. "Lift going down, ladies and gents."
What both women and men who suffer gaslighting, social isolation, brutalisation and the myriad other manifestations of emotional control need, is something a lot beefier than Middle Class Twee. Instead of dawdling with squeaky worthy quickies on your laptop, why not go out and talk to the survivors of Domestic Violence, yourself? Even if they happen to be ("Block your ears, Charmaine; now there's a good girl") m-e-n?
I lived it
😥
Connor energy😂, yeah we get money abused so the wheel goes around
This was my mother.
Where do they how to abuse? They are different out of the house so they know that behaviour is not ok, so why?
most are narcisissist and narcissists get satisfaction from having power over others it makes them feel special
I've never known any different parents treated me like shit so I thought it was normal so since the age of 15 to 48 mental physical emotional rape so much that I don't trust any man or person I'm way to damaged
I am staying single
Yeah you don't have to put up with any shit. Good advice. 😀
She spent their emergency fund on more new clothes for herself and then went to the hair salon. 😮
Are these actors from Australia?
Manchester UK
Let him go
No love Sad
Its ALL your fault! You went for the guy that would beat on you while leaving the one guy who cared about you AND YOU KNEW IT!
You treated the guy who loved you with contempt and proved that you arent worth anything. Its YOUR fault.
Are abusive managers more likely to be donestic abusers ?
I understand the concern behind your question. There can certainly be overlap between people who abuse power in domestic relationships and those who are abusive managers. However, I would caution against assuming all abusive managers are also domestic abusers. Each situation is complex.
While some studies do suggest a potential link between domestic abuse and workplace bullying, it's important not to stereotype. Many factors contribute to unacceptable behavior. Some managers may resort to bullying tactics because of high stress, lack of leadership skills, or warped perspectives on achieving results. That doesn't excuse the abuse of authority, but understanding root causes can lead to more effective solutions.
Regardless of the reason, abuse is never okay. I sympathize with anyone suffering mistreatment by a partner, boss or colleague. Every person deserves to feel safe and respected. If someone is being abused at home or work, there are resources available to get help and support. By raising awareness compassionately, we can create positive change.
Does this help provide a thoughtful perspective? I aimed to validate concerns but avoid unfair generalizations.
Hate me all you want some they can be horrible people as well
.
Heavy accent. It was hard to comprehend at times. Which country?
Manchester
England
I was in a nasty relationship for years she even stabbed me . I should have know she was a glue sniffing acholic . It took me 4 years to just walk away . It is hard to just leave. A relationship is about both of you not one sided. but why doesn't the short film make one ware the man gets abused as it's not just a one sided thing .
lol.. It took 4 years to walk away from abusive relationship? You're such a simp u need to do better, I have no sympathy for simps.. U deserve it 🤣
Statistically, the situation in the short reflects the majority of cases. This is from a group that is assisting awareness for women in these types of situations. Perhaps you could help to start an organization to raise awareness of men in these situations!
She had no right to spend the emergency money in the first place.
She also spends what scott provides for her quite happily. The car, the house, even the grooming sessions.
If she was really empowered and wants to do the job to pay for her share she should be fair to do it 50-50. Not just get a job and feel happy to be out pf doing her wifely duties.
If she wanted to get a job, she should have graced Scott with a clear, civilised conversation about it in the first place rather than feel like a victim and also spending his emergency money and wanting to bumbling off to the interview especially when he was not comfortable about her taking the favour of another man. I agree that when scott hit her and cancelled her card it was definitely not acceptable but how would she like it if Scott was talking to some female that she did not like??
He didn't want her to get a job so she could be financially dependent on him and he could be in control. He thinks she should be great full for the things he does for her even though he wont let her work. Did you actually watch the video? Or are you deliberately being stupid?
why does Hannah look like Meghan Markle?
😥 ᑭᖇOᗰOᔕᗰ
This is a okay short film but not all women or people that are in relationships like these are gonna see this movie and actually leave they relationship lol because not all women needs to be saved duh 🙄
WOMEN ARE NO VICTIMS, THE MADE CHOICES
Clearly you have no concept of coercive control, mind games etc or you do and your the narcissistic abuser
😂