How To Do Crime: Money Laundering
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- Опубліковано 21 лис 2024
- Discover the secrets of money laundering, from small-time schemes to high-level cartel operations. Using examples like Breaking Bad's Walter White, we dive into the complex world of cleaning dirty money.
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Simon has gotten so tired of criminals not following the rules he's making a proper guide
This is criminally underrated
I'm stealing this
Still no "Casual Criminalist" book tho.
🤣🤣
Simon: "these guys are idiots let me show them how it's done."
Simon: I can't believe youtube is demonitizing my videos!
Also Simon: *makes videos titled "How to do crime"*
Try it. I dare you 😂
Finally, a good tutorial.
😂
Nah, nobody has billions of dollars to launder.
The real way to launder small time money is a barber shop or salon.
From experience, the easiest way to launder money is through buying stocks or crypto using an FA. They don't really ask questions as they're more interested in your money and when the payouts starts coming, its clean money. Funny thing is that you even get to still make a lot of profit on that money if you use a good one.
💯💯
Nice... This makes a lot of sense... I've been considering going into this stock thing for sometime now but not for the reasons you mentioned... Heard its a nice way to make some extra funds... How do you get a good F.A and how expensive are they...
I don't judge man lol. You should start by looking out for those with strong records. Also make sure the person is registered. Personally, I use Marie, Kelly Matwick. She's not so popular but you might have heard of her. And from my experience, they're usually way cheaper than you would expect
LMAO
@@BarnRichard small world. Met this lady at our country club weeks ago. Had to go to her page to confirm that i wasn't mistaken. really small world
The Casual Criminalist crossover we needed.
Simon is writing down/recording his crimes.
Simon takes his garden to the lawn drette 😅😅
Hes offering Cash for crack? lol
The best money laundering is whenever some Mafiosi just buys their grandma a restaurant to run. It's fine Nona, doesn't need to be profitable, just feed the people and follow your dream while I do the books!
I mean just working at a Mafioso bar isn't a terrible excuse for small time money laundering. "The guys were just feeling extra generous that night" isn't an unbelievable excuse if some small time enforcers just got a windfall, especially if they pay in cash.
@@theBestElliephant I didn't mean efficienct, just really fun
@@theBestElliephant Best cover for mafia money laundering - the mafioso hangout bar, they always pay cash
*nonna
Next video, how to launder money using YT channels.
Set up a Patreon and send it a large quantity of small donations from various accounts🤷♂️
Yes, set up a lot of different accounts to donate to a bunch of different patrons for different channels.
Useful for cleaning up all those profits from your massive coke dealing business.
So that why he has so many UA-cam channels….
@@glarbtpppadloffsecopolisIII I bet he has fake bank accounts for his employees locked in the basement so he can send "paychecks" to those accounts.
As well as making notes on this video, another way to learn money laundering is to become a chartered accountant. Part of the training is how to spot both fraud and money laundering, but to learn to spot it, you have to learn how to do it. If you specialise in forensic accountancy, then you are all the more expert. Kinda like Dexter, but with spreadsheets instead of blades.
Wow❤
It may also get you on a list eg the panama papers, the sun shine papers as well. Have to be strong to do it.
The trick as said is to distance yourself as much as possible, but there's always a trail. The real trick is to become part of the in crowd of untouchables, like politicians, darling entrepreneurs, and security. No one denied our governments are run by racketeers, but getting an undeniable trail to force an investigation is damn near impossible.
Yes. This video is totally what’s in the training now. I think the more groundbreaking video is still the one by Financial Times on how Chinese brokers launder money. Highly recommended watch.
@@annieinwonderland694might get you on the panama papers list. But how many of those names actually got charged with anything? Its a short coming of the law, white collar crime is barely prosecuted. How many of these people at these banks that knowingly enter into illegal activity actually ever see real consequences?
I hope that this 'How To Do Crime' series becomes a series for Into The Shadows, just as a curiosity and an interesting video topic, certainly not for any other reasons.
Because you're writing a novel I assume.
Next up: What illegal side hustle are you best suited for. 😂
Allegedly
😂👍
setup your own private taxi app. Make them pay by tip for the side product. 100pct instant legal tender. And all recorded by the ap for tax purposes.
In the US, a series of deposits of $3,000 equaling just under $10,000 per month is a typical threshold for filing a suspicious activity report (SAR) in the place of the requirement for filing a Currency Transaction Report (CTR) required for a $10,000 deposit. Automated systems in use by most banks and credit unions often use this threshold for generating reports. The typical means of laundering is a front business, as noted within this video. Long ago when the Medellin cartel was in operation, we were investigating a chain of clothing stores owned by a Colombian. However, there are new developments in this area, also as documented here. I'm a retired US Government bank examiner and financial analyst. ...and no, Craig didn't stop after the $50. He bought a passport for a sanctuary country and is spending his time traveling from his Caribbean oceanfront home to Monaco on his yacht.
While an individual would trip numerous flags, businesses rarely would. My little real estate empire had deposits that would trip those thresholds every month. As would almost every one of the bank's other customers. (being a business focused bank.) We did tend to deposit all of the rent checks at the same time, and the bank knows what they are.
@@jfbeam The Bank Secrecy Act (BSA) includes a provision allowing banks to maintain a waiver list for businesses making material bank deposits. They are not required to file Currency Transaction Reports (CTRs) for businesses on this list. Compliance examiners always ask for this list during a review of BSA compliance. It might interest you to know the clothing store chain I mention above was on such a list. However, this was known (of course) by law enforcement agencies so we asked for detailed records concerning cash deposits covering several years during our investigation...
@@Bob-vw7bs Cash deposits would always be a concern because you have no idea of the origin. (that's the point in money laundering) Our rents were a stable, fixed amount, and mostly never paid in cash, 'tho there was one tenant that would hand us a wad of cash from time to time. From a CFA perspective, any store with a nearly fixed monthly income would be a red flag.
AML analyst here, this vid is much better than any training I’ve ever had on the subject 😂
Don’t do crimes kids
"Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." 😉
The best way to launder money is to start a Church...become a minister, start small, and slowly get bigger.. the best part is you are TAX EXEMPT" because or religion..A LOT of Mega Churches are just money laundering operations....
If you do it in a "Green State" ... one should easily be able to disguse "Business Transactions" as "Church Donations."
I'm not building the #ChurchOfNietzsche in #Colorado for this reason ... I'm just saying, one could do such a thing, if they wanted.
😂
The FBI agent personally watching me will love this
You only have one agent? Rookie
😱
The consultant company is based in Panama.
The next company is based in Switzerland.
The trust fund and shell company is in the Cayman Islands.
As one would do.
The Swiss Cantons sharing more information really complicated the whole procedure.
Well you want your money in a nice place when you visit it
Just make some “Art”, sell it as NFT and a totally random person just happens to pay A LOT for it…. to this day I wonder who was behind the bored apes dude.
@@biazacha Funny you should mention that, "art sales" are one of the easier ways to transfer the occasional large sums of money with minimal scrutiny. Not strictly ideal for money laundering, especially by itself or regularly, but a very useful step in some schemes.
All of it, eventually, owned by a LLC in the Cook Islands which is owned and held by a Cook Islands Trust. Good luck getting past _that_ since you have to do it _in person_ as the Cook Islands doesn't accept foreign judgements or remote actions. Only in person, only by locals, and the locals are _small_ so you can ensnare everyone by spreading out the legal business enough to force Conflicts of Interest.
I love reading the comments almost as much as watching the video. This has made for a really entertaining evening. Keep those comments coming.
When I did a responsible conduct of gambling years ago I was told how some people would walk around a gaming lounge looking for people with big wins. They'd offer the winner that amount of cash on the spot so they could cash out the win and get the receipt that comes with collecting large wins.
Thats bloody genius, thanks pal
Yeah IDT I'd accept a wad of cash in a casino. I like to see cash come out of the counting machine all genuine.
I could see this working AMAZINGLY WELL with Counterfiet Bills
😂
Politicians worth far more than their salaries: nothing to see here
Jim-Bob makes a few thousand bucks selling herbal remedies: 💥💥💥🔫
Do you want the team of surgeons putting your guts back in after a car crash to be on "herbal remedies"?
@@PROVOCATEURSK Ok so then we need to ban literally all substances that are psychoactive for everyone in all cases, got it
Nancy Pelosis husband casually always beating the stock market year after year while they are worth 250 million or something, certainly nothing fishy going on
Nice strawman, bro. By your logic, do we ban all substances for everyone, just because it's possible to abuse them? No more alcohol, tobacco, caffeine, nothing, because someone **MIGHT** misuse them? We tried that once, and it went very poorly.
@@PROVOCATEURSKyou know drug testing exists right? You can ban even legal substances at a workplace. It’s up to the employer and especially in jobs with higher risk like truck driving and definitely a medical even more so surgeon have wide discretion to test and ban substances legal or not.
Frankly no I don’t want my surgeon high. I don’t care if they use marijuana generally or alcohol that’s too common for it to be substantial on its own.
Most illegal states still drug test people against marijuana.
I get prescribed a pretty high dose of opioid painkiller by my pain doctor and by law they have to drug test me to indicate signs of abuse, addiction, or diversion like selling.
I am not allowed to have any traces alcohol in my system even though it’s well fully legal.
A bowling alley worked nice as a front back during the days of the "numbers" racket. (Illegal lotteries)
Mostly a change based event (nickel, dime, quarter), 'numbers' profits could be washed through the bowling alley's cash register.
Unlike a bar, there is not even an inventory to explain. Just how often a lane, ball, or rental shoes are used is anyone's guess.
In the 1950s and 1960s, bowling used to cost .25 to .50 cents a game, making it a change based business as well, and if you asked for a receipt, they usually told you your score sheet was your receipt.
A piece of paper you kept score on and took home.
No computers for scoring, no record how often the lanes were used.
The cash registers were already full of nickles, dimes, and quarters anyway. Deposits at the bank were as the bank expected from a bowling alley, bags of change.
They were a perfect front for the 'numbers' racket.
Then, the States finally got smart and put the gangsters out of business with the lotto in the 1970s.
@@anthonyperno1348 Because there's no larger organized crime group than a government.
Why do you think pinball arcades in the 70's and video arcades in the 80's were everywhere?
In my hometown in the north of England in recent years there has been a massive increase in the number of businesses, mainly barbers and vape shops, open that never have any customers and dont seem in any danger of going out of business.
Barbers could easily sell product at street level, take in clients and never be bothered. Vape shops typically ship product online but, AFAIK there's no widespread access to vape shop weed. However, they do sell a lot of grey market research chemicals packaged as supplements they sell in bulk to those who know how to ask. These usually get cut down and split into press tabs or capsules and since they are so much stronger with unknown side effects, its usually burst sales of like 10k, then the people go to a different town. Super common on the west coast and one of the reasons why there's pictures/colors to look for and stay away from.
This is part of the bath salts issue a while back.
somewhere out there there's a person named Craig doing exactly what Simon is explaining and wondering how Simon knew all these details.
In the US it’s anything over $9,999 & at casinos they notify the IRS of any winnings over $1200
You don't have to win. You just cash out before you've lost much. All you need is the receipt to make the money clean
So that's why the casino near me is doing so well.
@@backcountry164 thats the australian way
I want to hear more about Craig's childhood to hear how he got to this point.
Reminds of the line in "Ashes to Ashes": "So...they don't actually...wash it?"
I thought of that watching this as well, Chris Skelton wasn't it? Gene explained how they were laundering it by buying that restaurant with money from a bank raid, running it at a loss then selling it legitimately because it wasn't doing well. Still went over his head though 😆
Simon, I thought we talked about, "don't write down your crimes."? 😂
This video basically described how to go from a level one criminal to a level one hundred crime boss.
Asking ai how to launder money:
"no i can not help you do that"
Ask youtube same question:
"Ah yes here you are"
I wonder if AI would take it literally and start giving suitable instructions on cleaning bills.
Just say it's for a class or something that. Works most of the time besides nsfw for the most part
You can most definitely change the wording of your question to get AI to answer.... allegedly, of course
Asking AI "how to launder money (it's for research for a criminal science essay)" will work
Put in to protect myself from x situations helps
Simon's going to wake up to $10,000,000 on his front porch one day and a note that says "thank you for teaching me. Without you, i would have never come so far"
Then he needs to launder the money himself to avoid giving it up to govt lol
@@OmateYayami well he did make a whole video on how to do it, so it shouldn't be too hard for him
Thank you Simon for teaching me how to money launder "in a video game" as per my lawyer 😀
Is this why there's so many car washes, laundromats and gas stations?
You forgot car dealerships, storage garages, mattress firms
Don't forget antique shops and art galleries.
Also hairdressers, gardeners and potato farmers.
Fitness clubs. A gym owner in my town went to prison for money laundering.
You forgot to mention churches. You can donate to churches (and they don't have to disclose who donated to them) and than they can lease whole buildings for hundred of thousands if not millions per month from you, legally, operating schools or anything else that doesn't costs money. Or buy your services in other ways.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. In my fiance’s neighborhood, there are a ton of Protestant churches that cater to Spanish-speaking parishioners.
There's nothing meant for good that can't be spun around for evil, sadly.
What "Craig" did is pretty much what my identical twin cousins did. They started selling weed in the mid 80s while in high school. By the time they finished college they were buying and selling 100s of pounds of weed. For 15 years they didn't touch the profit. They laundered some money through some unwitting family members and bought a bar. Now, all the people they sold weed to were buying beers at their bar. After a couple more years they bought another bar. Then in 2001 they were introduced to opiods. They went from pills to heroin in a matter of months. By the end of 2002 they had lost both bars, and had both lost their houses and cars. In 09 one of them was serving 6 months in jail and had a heart attack. An artificial valve was placed, but it failed and he died in 2011. I wish I could say that the surviving twin saw this as a wake up call, but he didn't.
Grim
Thank you for pronouncing my name correctly!
You should do a whole series of videos like this. Super interesting man
The street I live on (ASW Utrecht) goes directly past the city center and the busiest train station in the Netherlands so, rent prices are stupid, tiny 5x8m 15x24ft business space costs €4,000 (prob about$100,000:) a month. The ground floor of almost all the buildings is a business and it goes for miles. Almost all of them are businesses that have very little procurement. Hairdressers, laundromats, bicycle repair, massage parlours, phone repair, Chinese medicine and many change every few months. We lived opposite the Chinese medicine place and used a laundromat with 26 machines for 9 years but it was extremely rare to ever see anyone else using the laundromat and the CM had large windows showing a guy behind a reception desk (usually watching a tablet). When I moved in a housemate said no one ever goes in so it became our game. There were only ever 2 seconds sightings of someone using the door. 1 DHL guy and the desk guy leaving, never saw him arrive, no one ever saw a customer....€4,000 a month just in rent.
4 thousand whatever that is equals 100k usd? Tf?
@@Rick-k7mIt's a Euro symbol. Might want to look it up.
@@Rick-k7m its euros and i think op meant 10000
Simon, why do I think this could become one of your most viewed videos of all time? 😊
Or you could be a United States Politician
Or any politician for that matter lol
@@wizzard174 yeah i sign that. Google why germany is only now getting fiber optic internet
"Moves on to more lucrative substances"...shows coffee
Funny how How To make money videos always end up more complicated than initially presented. So much work and dedication.😮
After all these years, I still absolutely love how Simon is so nonchalant about topics like this.. maybe it’s because I am an American but damn, you explained it very well…
So its not a bunch of notes washed at hot in a laundromat.
Damn there goes my goofball understanding of money laundering...
Never heard of roddy ricch when he be rapping about his money need a bird bath… gawd damn man I swear ppl don’t seem to listen to music anymore and pay attention to the world around them. There’s subliminal messages all around us!
I love this "How to Be a Successful Criminal" episode. Thanks, my empire shall thrive.
You ever have that feeling in school in the middle of class. That you should be taking notes? Me neither. So it must be the way the script is written like instructions. Plus Simon adds gravitas to the instructions making you want to follow along.
For the US, if you deposit $10,000 or more, a CTR (currency transaction report) is required. It includes your social, id info, occupation, etc. and is sent to the gov. A lot of financial institutions have a lower $ amount for CTRs.
So there’s a possibility you could get away with depositing $9,999.99 without a CTR, but then a Suspicious Activity Report (SAR) will probably be made.
I just started watching and the first thought - Oh, good, Simon is finally doing a video on how he cleans the money from his drug business.
I finished watching, and I am a bit disapointed. I thought I would get at least one tip on how to invest in a popular UA-cam channel to get all that squeaky cleaned sponsorship money.
This was a great video. I’ve always heard about shell companies and offshore accounts but I never understood how they were actually used
Instructions confusing, I’m in jail now💀haahhahaha
Could be worse, Sosa could've sent his boys, including a terminator to visit you.
Instructions unclear. Stuck in Pelican Bay.
Really should have watched it a few more times first. 😂
Thank goodness. Perfect timing!
Are we going to get a 'Casual Criminalist ' about this Graig person?
Just the how-to I was looking for! Thanks Whistle boy
Hahaha my mom holds on to my money for rent and in the memo line I always put “for drugs yo” and never have had a transaction flagged 😂😂
Simon out here teaching us how to do crime.
Next video: How to break out of prison. 😂 I shared this video with a dear friend, Walter White. He seemed curious on the topic. Ohhh now an another video: What illegal side are you best suited for. Mainly because I don’t have an illegal operation to use this new Money Laundering knowledge. At least I understand why Gus Fring had a chain business. Needed all those layers. Fun video.
fbi bait video??
Securities and Exchange Commission: Amatuers.
Yes. FBI bait video.😂
Shhh
It's not a bait. Just try it. See what happens
Thank you immensely for providing this tutorial, it was exactly what I needed.
Loved the video, I think financial crime stories would be a great addition to this channel.
Hello from Panama🇵🇦 the money laundering capital of the world, thanks for the shout out Simon
Please tell this will be a series of “how to crime”. You could make note pads says definitely my well thought out crimes
Okay, I've got a plan, I'll start tomorrow!
Three days later: meh, too complex, too much work, not interested in jail.
My boss: What was that?
Me: Nothing!
This has to be my favorite video you ever done you pretty much told us how to “legally” money laundery 😂
Why does Simon keep dressing like he just did a coke deal on miami vice (he forgot his jacket though).
He did
Why do you think the video is about money laundering?
He probably got all warm and toasty after lunch and lost the jacket
Mook: Pedro, what about the money?
Sanchez: Launder it.
Smugler's Blues's 😏
Plot twist: Craig is just one of many aliases Simon uses.
Plot twist 2: Simon Whistler is also just one of many aliases.
I'm almost 99% sure most, if not all, high cost art sales is for laundering.
Don't forget tax fraud. Donate a piece that you bought at $10 and is now valued at $10,000, and you can take that off your tax.
Two words: "mega church" that's how they launder in the south...
_pulls out pencil & paper_ Ok, I'm ready for class.
I did the same thing got my notepad as soon as I saw the title😁😁
Funny….the viewership for this video seems to be really concentrated at local prisons. Can’t imagine why….😂
If someone slipped on a banana peel the cops questioned Nicky, a floor boss disappeared, they question Nicky, an NFT scam, they question Nicky.
Please continue this How To Do Crime series
Extremely wonderful explanation....cleaning dirty money 💰 through money laundry
Simon : Criminals don't write your crimes down you idiots.
Also Simon: makes video
And now I’ve watched this, I’m probably on some watch list!!!
I keep getting different channels recommended, so I click, and it's Simon.
Loved Ozarks explanation. “Unless you’ve got a plan, you basically just have a large grocery and gas fund”
My favorite money laundering thing is when a pizzeria becomes more profitable than actual doing the crime.
If you are not in the financial market space right now, you are making a huge mistake. I understand that it could be due to ignorance, but if you want to make your money work for you, prevent inflation from eroding your savings, build generational wealth, and cultivate good habits and financial knowledge, you must be in the market.
You're correct!! I make a lot of money without relying on the government,
Investing in stocks and digital currencies is beneficial at this moment.
Job will pay your bills, business make you rich but investment build and keep wealth long term, the future is coming.
Life is easier when the cash keeps popping in, thanks to jeffery kathryn services. Glad she's getting the recognition she deserves
@@EnrikZane-kr4jmWow! Kind of in shock you mentioned expert, Jeffrey Kathryn What a coincidence!!
Thank you Lord Jesus for bringing expert Kathryn into my life and my family, $14,120.47 weekly profit Our lord Jesus have lifted up my Life!!!
What is considered suspicious also varies from person to person. For instance someone who has not regularly made large deposits will raise alarms sooner and with a smaller amount of money than someone who has made regular legitimate deposits of larger sums.
It depends on the jurisdiction. In Canada deposits of 10K are automatically reported. Our multiple deposits in quick succession that appear to circumvent the 10K law.
“ Let’s call him Craig.” 😂😂😂 I don’t know why why that made me laugh so hard
You're a great consultant, Simon & Team!
Why do I get the feeling we're gonna see an uptick in money laundering in the next few months.
Who even has money to launder? The economy is in shambles 😂
17:34 Ah. Craig's moving down in the world. Good for him I guess.
Very well made and informative video man, thanks!!
Honestly when I've heard the term shell company before, I always thought they were saying shell like the oil and gas company! Like as if that company named had become an expression for people to say that offshore oil companies are one of the easiest ways to hide and launder money without getting caught! It never really occurred to me that "shell" could mean a fake company just set up specifically for money laundering!!
There was a case in Edmonton in the 80s of a guy who worked for Edmonton Transit. He worked with the machines that sold train tickets and was stealing from the machines. He eventually got busted and when the case came to trial it came out that he was just taking the stolen money down to the bank and depositing it. His story for the bank tellers was that he was a co-owner of a video arcade and this pile of coins was the takings from that business.
Funny they didn't catch on earlier - a video arcade would want to buy coins from a bank, to fill it's change machines so customers have quarters to play with, and deposit stacks of small bills from said coin machines, not the other way around.
Most educational vid I’ve seen for ages!! Putting all these tips to work asap 😂
Craig deserves a documentray/biopic
Craig is a smart guy for a bartender
Thanks I’ve been looking for a tutorial
I thought for ONCE that he didn't say LengthLy... But when I went back for a second listen, nope it's there!!! 9:10
At first I wasn't going to watch the video because I thought I already know the answer but then I said well I enjoy listening to Simon anyways and I ended up learning a lot of stuff so that's cool
You can buy a winning Loto ticket and "wash" some millions at once.
This was very common in Spain since a politician "won" million lottery tickets 10 times or more.
I have one little but important problem with the money laundering shown here... I dont have enough money to make it relevant to launfer it😂
New business place episode is wild
Watching this while doing my laudry, perfect timing.
I had a casino "system" and was investigated for money laundering in Canada. There are government departments you don't even know existed.
This is why we really need groups like Interpol that can operate across national boundaries and international corporations. We need people who can go anywhere these criminals go.
Monero deserves a special mention regarding crypto, as it's specifically designed to be nearly untraceable and has become widely used by criminals as a result.
📝
I appreciate that Simon ... I am going to put some of these ideas to work ... I know you will want your cut, and that's OK ... I just want some of that money to go to feeding all the writers down in the basement ... capisci?
Taking notes rn ✍️✍️✍️
There goes Simon's credx in the do not commit crime sphere. He is now publishing How to videos. Cool
0:59 Yeah, if you’re going to launder money, best way is to pay the tax man some of it, don’t declare too many deductions, and they’ll consider you a good citizen I guess lol 😜.
Craig is a Legend!!!!!
I literally had this video in a less entertaining form as an induction for job selling cars.
We where technically credit brokers so would be open to financial exploitation. The FCA did a good job of teaching me how to(how to spot) money laundering.
Crypto is *not* the answer. While on the surface, it's anonymous, once a person is _EVER_ associated with an address, you instantly know every transaction. And it's alarmingly easy to reveal yourself. (did you ever buy anything real, that had to be shipped to you?) The only remotely safe way to deal with crypto is through (multiple) exchanges (i.e. banks); the blockchain will only record money moving into the exchange, from there, only the exchange knows, and it's rather easy to hide your real identity from the exchange. (it's still traceable, just not public)
My son, who has been unemployed for a year, was offered a job, and on the first day, they asked him to deposit money in his personal bank account, to be transferred out later. He almost became a Smurf. Thankfully, his scruples were able to override his desperation for income, and he walked away quickly.