Enneagram Types 3 and 8 in a Relationship Explained
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- Опубліковано 10 лип 2024
- Here's a glimpse into what a relationship looks like between a Type 3 Achiever and a Type 8 Challenger.
We'll talk about what these types have in common, what specifically attracts each type to each other, what conflict looks like between them, and then conclude with some potentially helpful advice based on the enneagram theories discussed throughout the episode. DISCLAIMER: This is a general overview that cannot cover the complexity of each subtype & variation (e.g. a social 8w9 with a self-pres 3w4 could be very different than some of these general descriptions), nor can I cover how the varying degrees of each specific couple's mental/emotional health would impact so many of these patterns. So with that disclaimer out of the way, please feel free to share how these patterns do or don't play out in your personal life, all while keeping any combative disagreements to a minimum :) Thank you, and enjoy!
0:00 Shared Traits
2:53 Three's Attraction to Eight
5:00 Eight's Attraction to Three
7:26 Conflict
10:12 Advice
13:00 Rating
💪 Type Eight Complete Guide
▶ • Enneagram Type 8s Expl...
💙 Type Eight Relationships Overview
▶ • Relationships with Enn...
🥇 Type Three Complete Guide
▶ • Enneagram Type 3s Expl...
💛 Type Three Relationships Overview
▶ • Relationships with Enn...
⚠️ Triads Explained
▶ • Enneagram Triads: The ...
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-Written by Colton Simmons, but with all due credit to the Don Riso & Russ Hudson of the Enneagram Institute for their many books that informed the majority of the content contained in this video, as well as Richard Rohr, Helen Palmer, Claudio Naranjo, Oscar Ichazo, and the many other major enneagram pioneers!
3/8 couple here! I didn't know we were rare, but that explains why I haven't been able to find much on them. Thanks for this!
My pleasure!
Wow… this breakdown is highly accurate. I’m a 3. My husband is an 8. Didn’t know we were relationship unicorns, but it explains so much. Your advice is soooooo spot on. These practices (hard learned and earned) have saved us.
Yes, I am a 3 and I’ve had a tumultuous and yet passionately deeply admiring relationship with an 8 off and on for the last 5 years. I frequently feel like he is picking me apart/criticizing every move and then I become scared/shut down/try hard to work hard to become understood/help him to see that I’m genuine/well/intentioned. When we’re both in our light (we’re both performers/entertainers/musicians) we marvel at each other. We are soft/admire each other when things are calm and challenging to each other when stressed. So true here.
This was good and explains why there’s not a lot of content out there!
I’m a 3 and she’s an 8…
You Pretty Much Nailed Our Relationship on the Head but I wouldn’t change it for the world!
My Favorite Part is the Mantra of 3 - Honest & 8 - Affirming!
That’s really all we ever ask of each other when we share our feelings (yuck 😅)!!!
Much Appreciated!!!
So glad to hear it's a helpful & accurate representation of your 3/8 relationship! Best wishes on the continued romance ;)
I realized what a great job you've done educating about the enneagram, because I could predict some of the areas of harmony & conflict, before you described them...and I'm not a 3 or an 8. Most of what I've learned about the enneagram, I've learned from your videos.
Love it 🙌
3w4 here with a 8w7. If it helps, we are also ENTP and ENTJ
It’s been a roller coaster, mainly in the control aspect, but I think we’ve both grown immensly while being together. We are each others best friend and we’ve both decided we have found our life partner. Our fights tend to last for days and reminds me of freaking filibusters. Even when we fight and we’re both going at each other I can’t help but admire, internally, his cold thought process. We banter/squabble all the time playing devils advocate on eachother and we LOVE it. Our subjects go all over the place from design, philosphy, politics, history etc and we will talk into the night. When being together we value authenticity so at the end of the day we can be ourselves, unfiltered.
When we’re together we tend to have this audio effect, that we don’t notice in the moment, like a volume war that gets louder as if we’re both trying to dominate the conversation.
Oh my gosh just played this for my 3 friend married to an 8 😂. She was doing work while listening and cracking up!
I’m a 3 he is an 8 but I think we work well together you hit it on the nail with many things, I while putting on a performance feel like a have to wear many hats with him he just sees me and it’s freeing while he feels like I’m his cheerleader not someone who he has to butt heads against a true support and everything is dramatic between us but like so much passion we steer life towards where we want as aggressive types the key is that we are steering in the same direction together
Love this!! Are you planning on doing any doubles like 3s with 3s or 8s with 8s? I know two 8’s that just started dating and I’m terrified of how that’s going to work out lol.
I’m interested in the double pairings too
Hey man! Is the 8/2 video coming out soon?! I’ve been patiently waiting for sooooo long! Hoping to get some education on that relationship dynamic soon! Thanks man!
Great vid.
Thanks!
yeahhhhh… this makes a lot of sense 😂
😅
I’m an 8w7 married to a 3w4 this is all spot on!!!
🙌
I need a 2/7 or 2/4 video in this category
It'll be here soon enough :)
Do you still have that discord?
Also, I've gone back and forth on whether I'm a 6w5 or a 9w1 for years.
I do have the discord but I'm not active on it - have it moreso for the few folks that asked for one. Maybe someday I'll get on it!
Omg I’ve been WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!!! I’m about to get some snacks 😂🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾
3w4 here. This was really good. How does this translate into working relationships between 3s and 8s?
I'm going to do a whole other series on the enneagram + workplace (eventually), but in general, these types usually need to be leaders of different division who collaborate somewhat independently of each other. Otherwise, there needs to be so much trust & respect between both parties because one will eventually run over the other to advance their agenda. 3s typically do better than 8s do in a supportive role, so if the 8 is in charge of the company, 3s can thrive and are great at navigating the 8s rough edges. If it's reversed, and the 3 is in charge, the 8 is typically much harder to rein in and often checks the 3's control without realizing it. But all that is just a snapshot of their dynamic :)
3w4 here, dated an 8 off and on for 3+ years. It did not go well... lol
It's tricky for sure 😅 can usually make great friends tho!
@@YouveGotaType yeah that would have gone better! 🤣
I can see how they might be a rare couple. As an 8, the threes I know I find challenging because I can tell they are often fake, or come across shallow in interactions …it’s like they want to be “buddy buddy” and they try to get into your good graces or close but to me it’s almost too calculated and dishonest…which we know how 8s feel about that! Haha I forgot to remember they suffer from insecurity, I see the behavior as a challenge and it triggers my aggressive mode .. or even my protective mode. I have a 9 female friend in a relationships with a 3 and my older sister is a 3 in a relationship with a 9 - I always find myself wanting to attack the 3s nature or pick it apart to find the genuine intentions if that makes sense 😂
Lol yup definitely sound like an 8
@@lajourdanne haha 😆
FRANK & CLAIRE UNDERWOOD 🇱🇷
Oh snap good reference! That show was amazing while it lasted...
I wonder if Trump may actually be an unhealthy counterphobic 6 as opposed to an 8.
Interesting thought, but he doesn't seem to portray those paradoxical type 6 behaviors as he's always sort of been a "what you see is what you get" person. His general pursuit of power vs. any sort of relational security also seems trademark of the 8 ego that doesn't want to rely on / need anyone.
Great response, you make a good point.