Lawyer Reacts to LEGAL MEMES 2 (2Legal2Meme) // LegalEagle
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- Опубліковано 24 бер 2020
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The Twitter lawyer has signed on. Oh great. OBJECTION! (Recorded before quarantine!)
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Thanks to Dr. Rohin Francis at MedLifeCrisis for the autopsy explanation. Check out his channel! / @medlifecrisis
Lawyers love memes. It’s a fact. Today we do the next round of clap clap legal meme review! And send in more memes and lawyer jokes to me on twitter for future episodes: / legaleagledj
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I get asked a lot about whether being a practicing attorney is like being a lawyer on TV. I love watching legal movies and courtroom dramas. It's one of the reasons I decided to become a lawyer. But sometimes they make me want to pull my hair out because they are ridiculous.
Today I'm taking a break from representing clients and teaching law students how to kick ass in law school to take on lawyers in the movies and on TV. While all legal movies and shows take dramatic license to make things more interesting (nobody wants to see hundreds of hours of brief writing), many of them have a grain of truth.
This is part of a continuing series of "Lawyer Reaction" videos. Got a legal movie or TV show you'd like me to critique? Let me know in the comments!
All clips used for fair use commentary, criticism, and educational purposes. See Hosseinzadeh v. Klein, 276 F.Supp.3d 34 (S.D.N.Y. 2017); Equals Three, LLC v. Jukin Media, Inc., 139 F. Supp. 3d 1094 (C.D. Cal. 2015).
Typical legal disclaimer from a lawyer (occupational hazard): This is not legal advice, nor can I give you legal advice. Sorry! Everything here is for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact your attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem. Nothing here should be construed to form an attorney client relationship. Also, some of the links in this post may be affiliate links, meaning, at no cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. But if you click, it really helps me make more of these videos!
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🍿Tell me your favorite lawyer joke!
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Did you hear the one about a lawyer who didn't give a shit about pandemic and went skiing, didn't self-isolate and made a lot of people sick? No? Never mind....
I've been meaning to ask your opinion on Bill Cosby's second trial. Information was bared to PROTECT the accusers crediblity 😩. And the deposition was surprisingly unsealed .if defense was prepared they could have brought up the the affects dosage and common use of Quaaludes . And page 135did you give these Quaaludes to women with out their knowledge. That is the question you have been instructed to answer. To witch he answered no
Lawyer A: Objection! Argumentative.
Lawyer B: Objection! That’s our entire existence.
@@milenam756 didnt bother to read the description that this was recorded before quarantine?
You give free legal advice to almost 900,000 people fairly often 😂😉
Client: He died of natural causes
Lawyer: It says he was thrown off a roof
Client: So, naturally he died
Gravity is indeed a law of nature, though I'd like to see it repealed.
what is man but a part of nature?
@@coriolass OBJECTION! Gravity is a theory, not a law!
Reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from the crazy computer game "Harvester".
*at the crime scene, the body on the bed is nothing but a bloody skull and spinal cord*
Ditzy Mother: "Was it suicide?"
Sheriff: "Off the record, I'd say no. This appears to be natural causes."
You: "Natural causes?"
Sheriff: "You can't live without a spinal cord, son. Ain't nothing unnatural about that."
@@Seydaschu *COUNTER* *OBJECTION*: gravity is described by the theory of gravity but by all intents and purposes it is in fact a law
"Don't give people free legal advice!"
Sounds like legal advice,
Your new client
Heck yeah! Now I've got some legal representation to back me up!
That's why he's got a disclaimer in the description every time :)
But my Facebook lawyer said his disclaimer is invalid! ;-}
Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
@@Wertsir
Does that mean that every mathematician is a Sith |?|
Edit - In case you didn't get it, here's a link that explains it:
www.eduplace.com/math/mathsteps/7/b/
Two lawyers come into a restaurant and order sodas. The waiter takes their order but then suddenly the lawyers take out sandwiches.
Waiter: "Sorry, but you can't eat your own food here."
Lawyers look at each other and exchange their sandwiches.
@Lu Cheng The joke is that lawyers love finding loopholes.
@@alabastergiant sir, this is a Wendy's drive though...
Good joke 👍
Lol nice joke
And this is why we actually say "you can't bring in outside food or drink".
We had a term in the IT industry which applies to my current industry (Real Estate) and the legal industry as well: "You don't pay a mechanic to turn a screw. You pay a mechanic because he knows which screw to turn."
So, basically, you don't pay a lawyer because they know law; you pay a lawyer because they know what law to use?
@@brandonhey7797
Yep, basically. Plus they know procedure, have professional contacts and a working knowledge of the court system (there's always more fees and forms than you think there are).
Unfortunately there’s a limit to a mechanic’s abilities, they may know how to turn a screw but they can’t fix a person with a screw loose
We had this in art school too! But more about how clients thinking the lesser time spent on project should mean lower price. (Paraphrased because sleep deprived at the moment) "It takes years to learn how to draw quick."
@@cheesecakelasagna -- I worked in the field of paintless dent repair (I was an estimator/sales guy... the guy you first talk to on a claim drive). The insurance companies HATE paying out more than they have to... so, over the years, they worked with the repair companies to develop repair manuals that give a specific time for repairs, mechanical as well as body/paint (known as "Mitchell Manuals"). Paintless dent repair is outside the scope of those manuals. Further... we work catastrophes, which means the repair technicians have to drive all over the country, pay for their own hotel rooms and food, not to mention apprentice for years and pay for tools which cost thousands of dollars. Most of the insurance agents who work these kinds of catastrophes understand this, plus... paintless dent repair is almost always cheaper than traditional repairs (and, when it isn't, traditional repairs are used instead). However... there's always one or two local insurance agents working a catastrophe who do not understand this.
I was working a claim where we had a technician in the building doing repairs, when I noticed a local insurance agent eyeing our technician very closely. The tech was repairing a door that we had estimated for $125 (I think it had 4 or 5 quarter sized hail dents in it). The tech finished all four dents in under 10 minutes (and the repair was perfect, with no visible sign that any damage ever existed - this tech was a master craftsman). But, the second he was done, the agent came sliding up to him and asked:
_"How many dents were in that door?"_
*"I think about five..."*
_"And how long did it take you to repair them?"_
*"Oh... I'd say 10 minutes or so."*
_"Don't you think that $125 for only 10 minutes worth of work is price gouging?"_
The technician then, in a move that he had obviously done before, offered to hand his dent tool to the agent and said...
*"You try doing it..."*
And that was the end of that...
Lawyer: You can't just use Google to defend yourself in court!
Doctor: You can't just use Google to diagnose yourself!
Programmer: ...
"Your google search is different from my google search"
-that one meme I saw the other day
Programmers, did you see what you've done?
I hope y'all proud of yourself!?
Underrated comment, op!!
I guess only software engineers will understand !
@@AntonAdelson currently somewhat of a hobbyist, it still hits rather close
DenverCoder9 has many secrets that they do not share.
"Yeah, I killed him."
"SO YOU ADMIT YOU ARE GUILTY!?"
"Nah, I don't feel bad about it at all."
Me:"Yea i killed him"
Lawyer: "so you plead guilty"
Me: "In yellow stone national park Aidaho"
Lmfao
Lucifer (the Netflix show): up to heaven you go then i guess!
“You can’t fix stupid” one of the most true statements ever
Yep, let's throw away the whole education system and let the Natural selection do it's job?
You can fix ignorance though, and people often mistake one for the other.
@@iambicpentakillunfortunately you can only fix ignorance if the person (or yourself) is willing to try to fix it.
When I worked at Adobe, an attorney from Legal gave a short presentation. One point he made was to never delete emails relating to lawsuits. For one thing, end users could not actually delete emails anyway; they remained on the email server. For another, it made it harder to determine who read what when. He said the WORST thing was to send out an email saying, “Delete the previous email I sent you.”
Was that in Terra Linda? my friend worked there.
@@fartnloud7411 San Jose
Broke: why did he break quarantine?
Woke: he recorded this a week before quarantine started
*BESPOKE:* He's hiding from the virus in his secret Lawyer Bunker ™️ and doesnt want people suspecting anything.
Logic: 100
I thought this was his porch
Estarile it’s clearly a bunker. Don’t let it fool you! 😈
@@Estarile illusion: 100
Except for the fact that the quarantines started 3 weeks ago and the Level 4 Travel Ban went into effect a week ago.
"Everybody hates lawyers until they need one." -My very sweet and awesome uncle who is a civil attorney.
So what I hear is that you need a lawyer.
It's so interesting bc I'm from Australia and it's not as litigious over here, lawyers aren't hated on as much. We hear the hate memes but don't feel them like those in the states do
Addendum: They resume hating when it comes time to settle the bill
I hated my lawyer before, during, and after needing him
We shouldn't need them.
“Don’t be a gunner”
Me who literally argues for fun: *sweating profusely*
And I like to ask questions so I can learn!
I guess there's a difference between having a liking towards debating and needlesly arguing.
The difference between arguing and debating is that in an actual argument, you're going to cool down three hours later and regret what you said
I just like to challenge people's ideas/beliefs regardless if they good or bad. I also love to challenge people's knowledge just to see if i can convince them otherwise again, regardless if they're right or wrong xD
@@deathslide8 yeah I think he meant you. Don't be like that if you don't want most people to hate you
Lawyer: *says the wrong name during examination*
Opposing council: "I'm about to ruin this guy's whole career."
Thank you for dressing down for this one so I didn't look like a comparative hobo
Must say I didn't expect to see you here... I just watched some 43 minutes of your snarky Q&A a day or two ago!
Time to use his Indochino referral codes and stock up, next time you'll outdress him lmao
I was staring at that skeleton for way too long before I realized what was wrong with it.
I totally saw this and couldn't stop my smile when I noticed the skeleton! 🤣
You look like Mr. Bean.
Alexander Hamilton:
-Was a literal gunner
-Was a lawyer
-Would absolutely argue anything with anyone
-Got shot for it. By another lawyer.
And that is why, among other reasons, HE is on the ten dollar bill!
Yaaayyy
Hey, that's basically politics in America!
By his frenemy even! And apparently Burr didn’t intend to shoot him fatally, he was just that bad of a shot.
in result: a total badass 😎
As for the autopsy meme, I always interpreted it as the doctor saying that the patient's brain was in a jar on their desk to mean that the person died from something horrible and the brain had been removed from the body during whatever caused the person's death and was gathered up with the body for hospital transportation, not that the doctor started the autopsy with the brain extraction.
Oh My god I felt the one about the pissing off the Judge and waiting for your turn. I had this happen in traffic court for a ticket for tailgating and the guy right before me pissed off the judge over a very similar one. The judge was spitting nails enough that I just apologized to him and said "No Contest" when he asked me why I said flat out that the last guy was aggravating enough that I don't feel it would be worth either of our times for me to argue for myself. On the plus side he thanked me and knocked the fine down to the minimum.
"It's not important how many times you fall down, it's how many times you get back up."
"Sir that is not how field sobriety tests work."
BWAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Made my day thank you.
Okay, that was funny.
Most excellent. Had me rolling.
That was absolutely brilliant :'D
LAWYER: Request permission to approach the bench.
JUDGE: Granted.
LAWYER: [leaves the courthouse and enters the nearby public park]
"I first passed the bar at the age of 18. And I've passed it in 17 states."
_(flashback to me, dancing on a bar a lá coyote ugly, drunk out of my mind yelling "I WiN!... no.. _*_hic_*_ no... I said IIIIIIiiiiiiiiIi wiN..!")_
Me: a gunner
Him: dont be a gunner
Me: I will argue with you on how I cant stop being a gunner
@@user-jd1qb5dw3g yo literally. I argue and ask questions cause I wanna and I'll fight Devin
JUDGE: * Thinking * Man, I wish I could do that!
@@user-jd1qb5dw3g I'm a sniper, I observe what I'm about to argue, bring enough info aka ammunition, and snipe the weak spot
“Skeleton may not be medically accurate” lol
That "brain in a jar" meme was one item on a list of hilarious court exchanges compiled by American court journalists in the 1980s, long before Internet memes were a thing. It was sent to my mother, who was a journalist in Ireland at the time, by fax, and I believe it did the rounds of newspaper offices. I believe all the exchanges were genuine, though I have no evidence to support that. They would have been taken down verbatim, in shorthand, by print journalists, and it was quite common for journalists to share funny stories this way; they made a sport of composing funny songs and poems about them during slow news days. If you want to find the source, I would start with US court journalists over the age of 60.
I recorded this weeks ago before coronavirus isolation! Geez, read the description!
Pin this comment!
To be glass half-full, if everyone read the fine print there'd be less work for lawyers!
7:01 - The quote is from the book “Disorder in the Court” by Charles M. Sevilla. I haven’t read the book, but maybe it includes more context, a disclaimer about truthfulness or any information on where the quotes are from? Might be worth checking out. :)
@@HisameArtwork Try looking at the very first line.
but its my job to jump to conclusion! lol
Objection! When a corpse has been in an accident that included a partial decapitation, the brain and head would be transported to the autopsy in separate containers. It would be perfectly normal to have the brain and upper head in a Ziploc bag that was then transferred to a clear jar in the lab, waiting its turn to be processed. This happened often for motorcyclists before helmets were law.
I've picked up bits of a motorcyclist @ 2AM.
You're not wrong.
@@lairdcummings9092
Please tell me more
@@gplor5259 dude had gone up a ramp at speed, hit some gravel. His bike went straight into the Jersey Rail, and stopped instantly. He didn't.
Long and short of it; open-face helmets will not save you if your face comes down hard enough into a concrete rail.
@@gplor5259 Yeah.. it happens quiet a lot with motorcyclists.
Even regular helmets, if they don't really fit, are prone to opening skulls instead of absorbing the shock.
The brain can just plop out of the broken skull when you take of his helmet, then. Not that the motorcyclist cares anymore.
I was looking for this comment. If not found, i would have written it myself.
7:20 I love how he just never addresses the fact that the skull and pelvis are switched
He did
"A gunner is someone who won't shut up. Don't be a gunner."
Damn bro I wasnt expecting to be personally covered in gasoline like that
that remember me of a joke, a dude find a magic lamp
Genie: ´´you have 3 wishes´´
dude: ´´i wish a world without lawyers´´
Genie: ´´done, you have 0 wishes left´´
dude: ´´but you said 3 at the start´´
Genie: ´´what you gonna do? sue me?´´
I found this reply in another video:-
Genie: Sue me
Dude: ok
In court:
Judge: Guilty of all charges
Genie: but I didn't have a legal trial, i need my attorney
Judge: Since you made all lawyers dissappear, you are having a legal trial.
Genie: back to lamp I guess.
@@AbRas644 Actually the judge wouldn't exist because the judge is also a former or practicing lawyer lol
@@Tenshi6Tantou6Rei Maybe it only included practicing lawyers.
@@MrUmakemelaff wouldn't work then he'd just find a disbarred lawyer to work for him and nobody would fight it as everyone who would is a practicing lawyer
@@Tenshi6Tantou6Rei Unless they're not. Don't have to be a lawyer to be a judge.
LE: "I am currently wearing these boxer briefs, but obviously I can't show you."
Me: *Motion to compel discovery. *
I support this.
🤦♀️👏🏻
I second this motion
Seconded!
Motion sustained
One thing I’ve learned from LegalEagle: The Bailiff will tackle you!
Ever since he said that I've been wanting to see that happen.
Me: a minor and also a woman
Also me: you’re right, I do deserve those boxer briefs
Favorite lawyer joke: A doctor is at a party, and tells a lawyer that people are always asking for free medical advice. The lawyer says he'll give advice and then mail a bill. The doctor says he'll try that. The next day, the doctor finds the lawyer's bill in the mail.
soundpreacher he didn’t ask for advice, he just made a comment
Hahaha
Yep, I was stumped
@@Wellch when the doctor said he'll try that turns it into advice
@@sallyjrwjrw6766 depends where you draw the line...being given free advice is not the same as asking for it haha
3 things i learned from LegalEagle:
1. Everything is illegal
2. All of your favourite shows and films are wrong
3. The bailiff WILL tackle you !
Everyone is a criminal. How many times have you speeded?
@@davis.fourohfour just because you "did" it does not mean you are guilty ....
Never give free legal advice
Except for My Cousin Vinnie and The Rainmaker, they're the only ones.
@@davis.fourohfour Yep, when you think about it.. Big Bang Theory is pretty mainstream, and the whole Sheldon gag is that he's too by the book, when no one else on the planet is that rigid. Petty laws are just deterrents to get us plebes to do it less.
I have a female lawyer friend. She once came in for an appointment with a client and the client gave her a look of "when is my lawyer going to get here". The client didn't say a word, but my friend was heartbroken.
"If I were to purposefully and intentionally give you legal advice, that would make you my client and I am ethically bound to represent you."
Ah yes, I see lawyers still work on the time honored and immemorial tradition of the 'Jinks and Leprechauns' method of establishing binding contracts.
All you have to do is say "LegalEagle" three times and suddenly he's your counsel!
I know it sounds like a joke because it has 'ethical' and 'lawyer' in the same sentence, but he's serious
Objection: If the autopsy meme was refering to a case where the victim's brain was not removed by the coroner but (most likely) by the accused, it might have been already sitting in a jar before the autopsy formally began. It is therefore that the meme may not be guilty of medical meme malpractice necessarily. Unless more evidence is submitted I plead not guilty.
Was thinking the same thing!
This needs more upvotes
@@karma6574 i cant up vote it its at 69 sorry
My exact thoughts during the entire medical bit
I tend to believe in this contingency.
Prosecution: How could the victim possibly shoot himself?
Defense: Allow me to demonstrate.
Fun Fact: That attorney who shot himself was a former memebr of the House of Representatives and he a buddy of Edwin M. Stanton (and that Stanton boi will go on to become Abe Lincoln's Secretary of War, but you already knew that, did you?)
As a child, I had a superiority complex and a strong urge to argue about literally anything and everything, no matter how big or small it was. Every adult in my life told me I needed to become a lawyer
"someone is pissing off the judge before your case" probably one of the best pieces of advice I was told in college (not a law student) was that "judges are ego maniacs." The slightest bit of impertinence can piss them off and bring down harsh consequences (fines, bias against your lawyer, just bad stuff). One of the few useful things I remembered.
When the traffic court judge calls your case personally, when usually the clerk calls cases, and he addresses you by first name only (ex: Aaron, get up here. It's your turn)....you know you've been there too many times....and you're in trouble....
Description: Recorded before quarantine
Everyone: OMG why would you vacation during the quarantine?!
well, if there's noone else on the slopes, it's technically still a quarantine...
Except intelligent people went on quarantine more than a month ago.
@@TedSeeber Even smarter people have been on quarantine since graduation :p
@@kunstderfugue Why weren't they on quarantine since high school, the selfish pricks?!
@@jlkjlkjkljklj9162 pshaw, I've been quarantined since I was born
Legal Eagle: *Shows up to Court*
The Judge: "Why are you wearing only underwear??"
Legal Eagle: "Oh but you see... these are Mack Weldons."
T3h Judge: Ooo Mack Weldons, carry on then console
"Your Honor, these are my legal briefs!"
Drop the photo evidence pls
@@charliebaker1613 Thanks, you broke me.
I’m waiting for the debriefing. ;)
If the dead person had suffered a catastrophic head injury, then the brain matter could have been ejected from the skull and been collected in a separate container at the scene.
"When you graduate Law School you will know nothing but that won't prevent your friends and family from asking for your advice"
It's really not surprising so many people compare law students to med students.
Who also shouldn't be giving medical advice...
Not a meme, but a true story: Years ago some where in Germany. Old experienced lawyer wants to lecture a law student (me).
He pointed at a document on his desk. Explained that this was a document from the Public Prosecutor General of the Federal Court of Justice. Showed to me the black, red and gold cord that was attached to the document and the national coat of arms that was imprinted. Told me about the significance of the document and was lecturing me about respect and honour etc.
Then he hit his mug and drowned the whole document in coffee.
Like, intentionally?
I get severe anxiety just reading this, is the document is fine?
@@shifukoala5543
Laminating power
@@selenefloatingwcrld4541 Something about the story being about respect says no, it wasn’t intentional
Oh my GOD that made me laugh so hard... Rip to that document though
That "Gunners" character reminds me of that one joke about engineers.
"Discussing with an engineer is like mud wrestling with a pig, after several hours you notice, the pig ENJOYS it."
youre not wrong
As someone with two engineers as parents, I can say that yes, this is true.
yep..........sadly sounds right.....
as an engineering student... i do not argue against this point.
I would argue that most topics become interesting to you if you study them in enough depth. Medicine, engineering, science, math and humanities topics like law and philosophy. If you don't find aspects of it interesting, you are probably terminally incurious.
"... for keeping legal eagle in the air and helping me look fly"
first sentence in and i'm already wowed
The “just because you did it doesn’t mean you’re guilty” one is like something Saul Goodman would say
Objection: The body could have arrived at the morgue with its brain in a jar. Serial killers be weird yo.
How do we know it was his brain though? 🤔
Here is another idea, it coould have been that the body had been recovered from an accident in which the body was subject to a severe trauma which cracked the skull open facilitating the brains of the subject to scape its cavity owing the momentum of the body then the brain and the body were recovered inependently from the site of the accident and sent to the coroner in order to complete the investigation of the accident.
This might have happen when a car goes over someone in the road, in a factory or construction if people ignore the safety standards, a helicopter crash or... Jason chopping the skull
That was what I was thinking too.
@@Hyoujin-Rei I like to think it was second autopsy, just because it makes the whole thing more ridiculous.
@@Hyoujin-Rei sadly, as much as your Hollywood education is serving us all good laughs, the human body just does t work like that. Now the serial killer idea is 100% plausible... Jeffrey Dahmer comes to mind actually
My favourite 'not legal advice' disclaimer has to be
"This is not legal advice. It it were, it would be preceded by a bill."
My favorite disclaimer from a lawyer is "This is not legal advice, but I'd advise you to consult a lawyer"
note that in #12, there is a slight error in the debunking. the doctor in the supposed transcript indicates the brain was in the jar *before* the autopsy. this could be the result of some sort of traumatic head injury in which the scalp and skull are partially removed/a case of partial decapitation, self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head, or the like.
"The Blue Book is stupid and I wish it'd die"
Kelly disliked this video.
Fun fact, my best friend's family member is the reason the Togstad act is in place and a huge reason for lawyers saying THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE lol. Essentially his aunt wanted to sue a doctor for malpractice, told the story to a lawyer who said she had no case.. (they were wrong) and then when she found out later they couldn't sue due to the timeframe and she should have --she sued the shit out of the lawyer and won. 😂
“I object!”
“You’re out of order!”
“No you’re out of order! This courtroom is out of order! The soda machine in the gym is out of order!”
Andrew Church General tip! If someone makes a reference, please try to avoid pointing out it’s a reference. It ruins the actual reference.
The gym is out of order... social distancing!
If everything's out of order: use quicksort!
-A Computer Scientist
I feel 31 so much, even though I never touched Law school. Literally before my 1st week of med school, I had some members of my family asking me medical advice. Cause that's how it works right? You get accepted and it just starts unlocking all the hidden knowledge in that field...
And the weirdest part? Going to a doctor is free here anyway.
It's no different for mechanics.... I can't even get lunch without someone asking me for advice about their car....
Taxes...and I don't even do individual income taxes.
My father does his own legal reseach quite often and has won a few times. He actually won against the state attorney without a lawyer and the case against him was then dismissed. He's just a truck driver/machine operator.
Objection: The brain was in a jar because that’s how the body was discovered before being taken to autopsy
Well, you are not wrong.
Indeed.
You didn't hear it from me but it was me all along
Furthermore, the line of questioning was not actually to shine a light on something, but to make a rhetorical point. The lawyer probably already knew all the answers. They just needed it to be recorded in the minutes or let it lead to another point.
Lock that Doc up, because that skeleton with the skull and pelvis flipped killed me
Sounds like you got a bone to pick with this dude.
I'll see myself out.
Don’t, I found it humerus
About to set a bad example: my husband went to look up precedents & I wrote up my own response to the state unemployment agency who was trying to deny me unemployment, & the judge actually asked me if I was a lawyer! Of course, I *so* have an MA in history, which is usually one of the paths to law school....
Wild that we literally see the moment when Devin learns about Vallandigham, whom he eventually makes a video about.
I’m not a doctor or biologist, but something’s off about that skeleton
definitely a male skeleton, he thinks with his d**k
What you are seeing is the miracle of birth
thats a skeleton facebook lawyer talking out his butt.
@@wikinfei well he does have his head up his own ass=)
i guess yall have to eat from the bottom
...
that kinda sound sexual...
He looks like a bond villain at his ski resort lair.
He called it the Eagle's Lair but its looking closer to the Eagle's Nest
Legal Eagle looks like a sociopath who only dresses from catalogues in compensation for lack of self.
He handsome tho
@@SCwirlify Dressing in high-end casual wear doesn't make someone a sociopath. And dressing from thrift stores doesn't mean someone is creative or has an amazing inner self or personality.
I have a new definition of insanity: hearing the "Introduction to Property Law" is a book that will make you cry (& why it will), & thinking "I want to read that" [:/]
14:30 that is the laugh of a man who is dead inside.
As an MBA I object to that generalization that BSchool is all just karaoke and keg parties.
Its also wine and cheese cocktail parties where we can act knowledgeable about wine even though we have no clue. Its excellent practice for consulting.
Little did he know, reading the Latin words was actually reciting a spell. A portal opened up in my living room.
Sorry, that was me, I opened the dimensional gateway in the wrong spot, was trying to go back to my bed, you know how typos work.
Chuckle in Latin class
i bet its cos he mispronounced the decidere one
@@edwardbo4666 was it a case of accidentally swapping _meridiem_ and _meridianam?_ That happened to me. Tried to go to Disneyland but ended up in Mexico.
@@scottwpilgrim nah, the location works on longitude and latitude, I just mistyped a number
I love your videos. That said, when our legal assumptions are based on fashion, there is a huge flaw in said system. What someone wears has ZERO bearing on their character and whether they committed a crime... and as long as the courts hold the opinion they do about fashion, justice has not been served fully yet. This needs to be bred, possibly beaten out of the heads of every single court employee, twice for the judges.
I read about a case where a person was on trail for breaking into someone's house. They came to court wearing a specific one of a kind tie that just so happened to be missing from that house. Another case the defendant was on trial for, I think, robbing a convivence store. Defendant showed up to court wearing a hoodie that was an exact match to the one being worn by the person on the store's security camera. Clothing choice matters but not the ones that people think.
Me: a gunner
Him: dont be a gunner
Me: I will argue with you on how I cant stop being a gunner
Perish
i just have a lot of beliefs crammed into my tiny body and i need to express them 🥺
I'm being the biggest gunner in this mock trial course that i'm doing XD
So meee😬
I am not a law student or a lawyer, but I am indeed a gunner, i kinda just like it.
The best part about being a lawyer is when your client start confessing to stuff no one asked them about.
....the sarcasm.. ouch
19:46 There's something wrong with the system when the outcome of a legal proceeding can be prejudiced by what has randomly happened in the minutes prior to a hearing. This is literally life changing stuff and Joe Defendant might be having a real bad next 20 years because the judge didn't like the ice cream he had for dessert.
This is an old comment but I'm pretty sure that this mostly if not only apply to civil cases where prison time cannot be issued as criminal cases are not ruled by a judge but by a jury of peers and each jury only hear one case
@@sarahlaurent62 Actually, that's not entirely accurate. Even a criminal defendant has the right to forego a trial by jury and simply leave their fate to a single judge....at least in some states anyway.
As Alexander Pope put it, "The hungry judges soon the sentence sign, / And wretches hang, that jurymen may dine." Of course, that was 1714.
The skeleton was hilarious!
Top tip for small law firms: get great assistants and worship them. Appreciation for your staff is the asset big firms don't have.
No, get great paralegals and worship them. Paralegals are cooler.
SOURCE: I'm a paralegal and you cannot prove I'm just saying this in the hope people will worship me.
Older cases have better facts
"She's a witch!"
"Why do you say that?"
"She turned me into a newt!"
"You look fine to me."
"Well, i got better."
The word of the people is in no way more truthful than the eye of a camera.
The words and the camera in this example belonging to Monty Python's Holy Grail.
monty python and the holy grail is the only good thing to come from humanity
@@FiSH-iSH Pie?
Hearsay is the worst kind of evidence imo. The human brain is proven to be extremely unreliable at remembering things correctly
@@katyungodly I'm no lawyer, but I believe hearsay is not evidence but testimony, even if admitted.
James: *looks at meme*
James: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe.....he.....he
James: SO THE JOKE IS
-What do you call ´100 lawyers in the bottom of the sea´?
-A good start.
@@Biden_is_demented Oh god no... xd
You know he’s a lawyer when he thinks a polo is athletic
Isnt the phrase "this isn't legal advice" itself legal advice.
Nope.
10:57 "business school is 2 years of keg parties and karaoke."
There are plenty of classes to take, too. Classes like: Don't do anything stupid 301, and Everything you do will be discovered eventually (honors).
Sounds to me like a lot of people flunked that last one and still got enough credits to pass.
"You can't fix stupid"
Teacher: Am I a joke to you?
Education can remove ignorance but it won't necessarily make someone smarter. The first is a function of knowledge the second is a function of being able to think/use that knowledge
@@MrGoesBoom I agree.
Ignorance is simply a lack of knowledge, stupidity is having knowledge and choosing to ignore it anyway.
Ignorance can often be corrected, but stupidity is here to stay.
A teacher fixes Intellegence not Wisdom.
@@pegmay7209 Well, you can fix that by just putting extra points into wisdom at level 4, 8, 12, 16 or 19.
learn to meme properly, dude :c
19:43 thank you for the free advice about legal advice! Guess that makes us all your clients now, huh?
I love hearing him and Dr.Mike laugh at these memes 🤣
7:03 - When I was in the Navy, there was an accident involving a sailor who bent over to pick something up behind a helicopter. This sailor had apparently forgotten that things like rotors exist on the tail end of these machines. When he stood back up, his head went straight into the rotor, which destroyed his helmet and cut a perfect rotor blade sized hole into the top of his head. He was killed immediately. We knew this because the pressure of the impact sucked his brain completely out of his skull, through a slit that was only about an inch or so wide. His complete brain (or, at least, a large portion of it) lay there a few feet from him. So, this is one incident where I can imagine an autopsy starting with the brain in jar, separate from the body. And, while this type of injury is extraordinarily rare, it does provide some evidence that there are perhaps other accidents which could cause a similar injury.
"If you're watching this channel, you're probabaly an adult and you deserve to have nice boxer briefs."
Me, a 14 year old female -.-
Well, there are boxers for women, and they're really comfy.
Boyshorts are boxer briefs in all but name, so you're still covered
well then, you deserve to have nice boxer briefs too
Chris Hansen walks in the room....
I know a girl who wears boxer briefs because they're more comfy.
Though I guess also that's where the probably comes from.
Seeing if anybody noticed the pelvic-cranial transposition and the fact that in a meme review on legal memes, our good doctor made a medical joke on the level of the infamous IT PEBKAC OR ID10-7 error. (Usually its rectal-cranial transposition or inversion)
Brain in a jar: the autopsy might not have begun yet and the brain could have been outside the body due to traumatic head injury or a really sick killer.
Meaning...it could have arrived at the coroner's office in that condition.
Lawyer dies and is sent to the Pearly Gates.
Saint Peter says, "Wow, you look good for a 100-year-old."
Lawyer says, "I'm 68."
Saint Peter says, "Not according to the hours you've billed for..."
Lol, this is funnier than anything in the video
Wasnt this joke in the lawyer jokes video? I am 100% certain is was.
Jartran72 Probably. It’s an old one. My father told it to me in 2003, but it’s much older than that.
“I have done my own legal research and have determined I need a lawyer”
In regular school we used "the little brown book" for MLA citations. Ironic since a different format of citations is commonly used in science citations.
"We're really hating on law students today and I love it!"
"We lawyers feel like we are characters in Amadeus." (1:55)
Get back to me when you have to wear a wig and gown to court 😂
Sincerely, a barrister from Northern Ireland
You have to do that there?
@@diktatoralexander88 I believe British lawyers have to
I think the Canadians do it as well
@@diktatoralexander88 Yep, we do. And in answer to other comments, all barristers (but not solicitors) in the UK, the Republic of Ireland and numerous Commonwealth countries (among other countries) wear them
Hello, former medical examiner here! I had a suicide victim on my table once and a considerable amount of this persons brain was in fact in a jar before autopsy even started. So the meme could be true from that perspective.
P.S.: Now that I think about that I did not check for pulse, blood pressure or breathing!
uh oh
somebody almost had a zombie problem
So....how can you be so sure the "victim" was actually dead?
I do a version of the "not legal advice" at work. I work in manufacturing, not law, but when coworkers either ask what a tolerance was or if something looks good, I'll start by reminding them that I'm not responsible for their quality record if I answer wrong, or that I'm not an inspector, so my response can only be taken as an opinion. When they're asking for tolerances, I'll also do the quick check through the specification documents. I'm not paid to know how to do my job, I'm paid to know how to learn how to do my job every time I do it.
10:54 I couldn’t agree more
Had a brother that graduated from business major for 2 years in China and 2 years in UK. All i heard from his mouth is travelling, working (part times), and spending money. I never heard him said anything about how hard his class is or his colleges and professors 😒
My mom, at the beginning of her law career: "Never become a lawyer."
My mom, 20 years later: "Definitely become a lawyer."
Objection: the brain may have been separated from the body before the body was delivered to the coroner's office, for example as a result of deadly injury.
it's a transcript so should be available as public record and not that hard to find. Yet noone's posted a source that I've found.
Objection objection: How can you be sure this is the victim's brain? The murderer may have confiscated the brain and placed another at the scene of the crime.
@@textexadecimal9340 Objection: Regardless of the brain's condition or person it belongs to, the way the meme is presented, it heavily implies that the patient was at least missing his/her brain and thus the punchline holds true.
Maybe the person died in an accident wherein his brain was removed and had to be brought in separately from the body?
Unless he was killed by the Brain Pickler it seems rather unlikely that the brain (and not just the head) was separated and in a jar.
8:21 VERY true in Scotland. We have three options for a jury: guilty, not guilty and not proven.
Interesting! Can you explain, legally, what the difference is for the accused? Like, specifically what difference it makes for you if you are declared not guilty vs not proven?
@@teamcybr8375 Of course. Scottish law says that you cannot determine a person's guilt because guilt is an emotion/experience and it's impossible to judge that. So Scottish courts were concerned with what could be proven to be factual, hence the options to a jury were: "proven" and "not proven". When forming the United Kingdom the English wanted their legal framework to be the standard but Scotland was disturbed by the idea that try a man's heart and resisted by keeping the "not proven" judgement. But the English then used UK law to prohibits a judge from defining "not proven" to a jury to weaken its use and eventually abolish it, because English judges and lawyers are of the legal opinion that guilt can be determined (which is IMHO both presumptuous and ridiculous). But what we do know for a fact is this: Both "not guilty" and "not proven" are acquittals and both mean that the person cannot be retried for the same crime. "Not guilty" means that the jury is of the opinion that the person did not commit the crime. "Not proven" means that the jury is of the opinion that the person either committed the crime or is very likely to have committed the crime, but the prosecution has failed to show the connecting dots (you can threaten someone, you can be in the same place as them but if the prosecution can't show that you were driving the car that killed them then 💁🏻♀️). It's why Scottish cases will have all of the possible charges rather than just one: they might not be able to PROVE you murdered someone, but you can still go to jail for threatening them and possessing an illegal weapon. They run through their timeline of events, present the evidence and then the jury will determine if each charge has been proven to be factually accurate. Also, "not proven" while an acquittal under UK law, is not the same socially as "not guilty". The public will treat you with suspicion: the court couldn't prove you did it, but your lawyers couldn't prove you didn't. You also cannot be offered or accept a "not proven" plea. In fact, Scottish court (before the formation of the UK) had no plea deals. You were charged? You went to court. Scottish court is about facts, what can be proven, what cannot. Truth and facts are not opinions or emotions and only the former matters (your intentions are argued at sentencing). The court case is about the proving, sentencing deals with the why and motivation. It's essentially one argument at a time: Did X happen? Did Y do it? Why did Y do X? If you try and mess with that order it's considered emotional manipulation of the jury and you WILL get in trouble for trying to do that (you see lawyers who are from England defending (usually) English clients who have committed crimes in Scotland getting ripped a new one on the regular in court because they try to make jurors angry or cry and the judge will lose their damn minds at them. (Some have been banned from certain courts if their behaviour is particularly egregious). Also, unless your outburst is physically or verbally threatening defendants and victims can have emotional outbursts without consequences, because the court understands that everyone is stressed out. tl;dr Scottish courts did something for hundreds of years until the English stuck their noses in. Not proven is exactly how it sounds and does not carry the presumption of innocence.
@@redisthecoolestcolour Interesting, thank you for explaining!
"...therefore, I'm ethically bound..." that's the best joke of all that video.
19:47 - Years ago, when I lived in Virginia, I had to go to court for a traffic ticket in Richmond. Just before my case was called, the guy in front of me was given a decision of a $500 fine and a three month suspended sentence for *Reckless Driving.* The guy wigged out over the decision. His lawyer was trying to calm him down but to no avail. To my surprise though, the judge was being extraordinarily patient with this dude's tirade, until... about six or seven sentences in, he finally called the judge... a really bad name (I should mention here that, the judge was black)... yeah, that name. Immediately the judge changed his sentence to six months at the county jail. The guy wigged out even more... so, the judge said, _"okay... let's make it 12 months"._ Again, the guy lost it even more (to the point that the bailiffs started closing in, slowly but surely)... the judge chimed in again, _"okay, 18 months"._ This time, before the guy could respond, the bailiffs tackled him... I honestly think they were trying to save him from himself, before he ended up with a life sentence (plus they could tell the lawyer was completely exasperated at the sudden turn of events). They hauled the guy off the floor in cuffs... once he was upright again, he started shouting once more, but they flew out of the room with him, even so, we could still hear him for what seemed like two minutes. Eventually though, it got quieter and quieter, as peace was finally returned to the courtroom. So, the judge turned to the clerk to call the next case.
Of course it was me... oh, and the charge against me? Reckless Driving... and I hadn't even thought to hire a lawyer.
ooooooooooow
Okay but I need to know what happened next
wow
@@littlemissfcukface -- I got the death penalty. No, believe it or not, I got it reduced. The cop had made about 10 mistakes on the ticket (including the make and color of the vehicle I was driving). When it was my turn to defend myself, I just started talking and going on and on about all the mistakes. After about a minute of this, the judge started trying to interject... but I didn't hear him because I have A.D.D. (and it was way worse when I was younger). Eventually, the judge said my name loud enough that I finally heard him, and I stopped... he then said, _"I'll reduce the ticket to Improper Driving, which is a $40 fine and no points on your license... if you'll just shut-up"..._
That was a hell of a deal, so I quickly agreed.
@@thebonesaw..4634 I sat in court listening to cases before mine.....also in Virginia.... Had a guy with a similar incident, except the officer got the make, model and color of the vehicle wrong. He even got the street name and direction of travel wrong, as well as the posted speed limit. The poor guy was cited for travelling north on a street that runs east to west, doing 45 in a 25 (through the speed limit on the cited street was actually 45mph) while driving a black toyota camry....even though he was driving a blue honda accord. Judge still convicted him. As I walked out of the court after my own case, officers and lawyers were in the hall questioning how an officer could get every detail on a citation wrong, yet still get a conviction. One of the lawyers offered to represent the guy on appeal at no charge. Of course, his case and mine both came up after several idiots pissed off the judge. My case was immediately following his, and usually that judge wouldn't call cases himself, but I knew I was screwed because he called my case personally.....
7:54 OBJECTION!
Skeleton IS medically accurate, but only for lawyers.
You mean they have their heads up their *****?
@@alansmithee419 nah, some have sh** for brains
Could be both.
And politicians.
Well... technically for guys they do often have a head there.
Lol these are great. Your laugh makes it even better
The crying book question, someone wrote the name of a physics book, and then the author commented "tears of joy no doubt". Love the sarcasm he was able to throw back there.
Lawyer: my client is innocent
Judge: your client bragged about cutting off the balls of the victim and published pictures of the victim's testicles on a frying pan covered in bbq sauce on twitter.
Lawyer: well, you see. There's this program called photoshop.
And as you are aware your honour, people lie.
“Skeleton may not be medically accurate“
And me trying to figure out what kind of alien was that.
Its a lawyer skeleton. the head and ass are interchangeable LMAO
I enjoy that the disclaimer comes along after juuust enough time for an observant person to be heading to the comment section.
One of my favorites is the Robot Chicken Star Wars Password where someone is getting Admiral Akbar to say "Trap". The last clue was "You don't want to get caught in one" to which Akbar said "Small claims court".
As someone who's about to finish BS Accountancy and is being pushed by my family to become a CPA Lawyer, I want to thank you for indirectly persuading me to NOT go to law school lmao