Breaking the Silence about Childhood Trauma | Dani Bostick | TEDxGreenville
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- Most discussions of PTSD focus on veterans to the extent that many people who suffer from PTSD are often undiagnosed or misdiagnosed, especially among our children. Since PTSD can masquerade as ADHD, depression, anxiety, personality disorders, and even extreme stoicism, many people suffer without access to effective treatment modalities.
Dani Bostick is an educator, writer, and advocate in Winchester, Virginia. Her current work as a teacher and prior experience as a mental health counselor have given her unique insight into the impact of trauma on students and the importance of trauma-informed classrooms.
As a TED-Ed Innovative Educator, Dani is a part of a global cohort of educators chosen from around the globe to amplify innovative ideas in education. For her TIE project, Dani created a toolkit to help educators maintain a healthy classroom environment while facilitating emotionally-charged classroom conversations. (www.classroomconversations.org)
Dani's written work on education, mental health, and sexual violence has appeared in the Washington Post, Huffington Post, Parenting, Marie Claire, and many other publications. Her first TEDx talk explored the use of the word 'victim' through the lens of her experience as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse who first broke her silence and reported her perpetrator decades after the crimes occurred. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Did anyone else suffer from near extreme memory loss due to it too?
Yep! I pretty much don't have any memories. And when I miraculously have a memory I have only a very vague sense of when it happened. It makes diagnosis and dealing with doctors in general very difficult. "When did you start having this symptom?" your guess is as good as mine buddy...
Yes
Yes! Here too
Yes! It's so bad. I've actually googled early onset dementia because I thought I was slipping (I'm 25 though). Most of my memories are random emotional flashbacks.
My long term-memory is just shut off for the most part.. I feel like the only way I can cope sometimes is to focus on the present on a good day, watch a movie, read, or draw on an average day, and just "turn off" or feel like I'm losing my mind on the bad days..
"Are math facts important when you think your survival is at stake?" Excellent quote. Children cannot be expected to concentrate under those circumstances.
Jessica soooo sad when it’s broken down to that! I remember thinking the same thing! Terribly sad!
Sometimes we need a reminder
I don't call myself King Concentration Deficit Disorder for nothing!
Haha doing this everyday....
Thank you for your insight. I think children have an added burden in that they often don't know yet that healthy, nurturing love exists.
Trauma is anything that overrides the brains ability to cope
Perfect!!!
"Sometimes just living is an act of bravery." - Seneca
oohhh yes.... true!
Yes... however much longer I will live. They are literally killing me😢every day.
This just hitted me right in my heart, after hearing, I begun to cry..
💜
True story
As a teacher I discovered I was more concerned with a students mental health than their academic test scores.
@@annahr4990 you welcome, I’m glad she saw the BIGGER PICTURE. We have to be still sometimes so we can hold to what’s necessary later...
I’m studying teaching at the moment and it saddens me how much emphasis there is on academia at schools. Mental and social health is so much more important in my eyes.
what i would have given to have a teacher like you ❤
That's beautiful. Good mental health can lead to good academic grades. Just a side effect that may occur.
Your students are so lucky to have you 💖
@@1984FarmDreams Exactly I am a teacher and I totally agree!
That's my Latin Teacher. God bless her.
PhoenixFire221 - Latin is culturally inappropriate for her. It’s an insult to such a great language.
@@nuduo9255 what?
@@2killnspray9 he or she or they or it is saying that she isn't a good person because she said this basically.
Nu Duo language isnt culturally inappropriate for anyone. Next time keep it to yourself instead of trying to put people down
@@nuduo9255 she's letting it be known there was an issue with her Latin Teacher and that is all. No insults in the comment
I'm 60 years old and still suffer from my childhood trauma.
Me neither and couldn't remember much of it anyway. Fight Flight Freeze. Freeze and a bubble covering me to protect me was how I survived but suppressed emotions. Very, very painful.
I am sending some love to you because you are very strong to be able to recognize that. I wish my grandma could realize her trauma and how she has reflected it onto my mother and i.
Oofafoo you are strong.
Thank you Savanah, coming from someone I don't know and have never met, that means a lot to me.
Same here
May peace be with you, in the name of Jesus Christ. I commend your willpower to be & to show we can hang in there. God sees & knows all.😇
How terribly, awfully, strong we all are. I love all of us - you're my Tribe and I respect the struggle and strength of every single one of us.
💗💗💗
V
Tribe....that sounds like Rachel Hollis talk
My childhood is extremely foggy and feels sad. Unable to feel, unable to realize if you're happy, unable to regulate emotions, unable to understand what is causing negative emotions, not feeling like in control, having meticulous random mental models just to help yourself understand the world - anything other feels incoherent and messy and makes you feel even more depressed. Unable to know what you like, what you don't like, what you want, what you don't want. Unable to know what to stay so you stay silent all the time. Nothing matters really, life just keeps going on and on. I don't remember the last time I picked up some hobby or sport because I enjoyed it, most decisions close to my heart are about my career and future goals to achieve.
I have C-PTSD and it makes so much sense. I hate having it and especially since it happened over a long time throughout my childhood and everyone-EVERYONE- just tells me "get over it" . I know it's in the past, but PTSD messes with me now.
You aren't alone. It happened to me at 13 and it has taken me 35 years of failed relationships to finally become aware of this.
jude999, At least we're not alone.
what have you done about it?
I would highly recommend Pete Walker's book 'Complex PTSD, From Surviving to Thriving'. I am reading it at the moment and feel it is saving my life, no exaggeration. Everything is making sense for the first time in my life. I hope that it helps. Wishing you the best.
You're not alone in this. I have C-PTSD from 13 years of all forms of trauma as a child. It's really sad to know how many other children have suffered from some form of trauma.
I wonder how many children and adults who are diagnosed with ADHD actually have PTSD? The symptoms sound similar to both diseases, at least from the outside. "Daydreaming" might actually be disassociation, but if a child doesn't disclose any trauma then they would be misdiagnosed, it would seem.
PTSD has more symptoms than the ADHD-like ones. If someone only presents with ADHD symptoms, it would be really hard for a professional to make a PTSD diagnosis. Screening is really important-- if you only screen for ADHD, then you could miss other symptoms that would indicate another disorder.
I have noticed when I deal better with my emotions I have less ADD symptoms.
People are only just starting to wake up to the fact that so many children diagnosed with ADHD are actually trauma kids. Here in Philadelphia, they are just starting to publicly educate about this issue, because it is a huge issue due to the poverty and drugs. I learned about this misdiagnoses recently because I was getting ptsd and discovered this was due to early childhood trauma. Myself and my siblings were diagnosed in 1979 as all having ADHD and were prescribed Ritalin. My brother and I had fun combining it with alcohol. My sister also combined it with a great many other drugs. I did help keep us focused...under the influence of alcohol. The real problem was, my father was an abuser. 40 years later, I know.
Someone told me that most with c-PTSD have dissociative identity disorder.
Heather Nations 🙋🏻♀️ me
In 1977 my own mom stabbed me in the back with a knife on my spine . It’s 2018 and I’m almost 50 now and I’ve never told anyone and it’s been a hard life but I deal with it and hope she gets help because it’s not me who’s sick it’s that woman who’s sick in the head .
😭😭😭
I am so sorry, God Bless you xo
Dear God.
You did great by telling your story. You are not alone.
Al-Alan helped me deal with abandonment. Identify, process, grow beyond the child I still was at 55. I even discovered some freedom from hate.
Bawling my eyes out. This is soo sad. I live with PTSD and it has made my life so difficult.
I'm crying too
I'm sorry:(
@@carlafloyd6923 don't be sorry hun. empathy though, goodness knows we need more people like you around the world :)
💜crying too.
GlitterFaceBunny me too😞 but our day is coming soon where we overcome it
In 2019 at the age of 28, I was diagnosed with a 6mm lesion on my right frontal lobe and c4 of my cortex. I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2013 after years of childhood abuse and neglect. I am a student in university now, I have found much evidence linking PTSD to the physical manifestations of trauma in my body. We Are Healing. We Are Healed.
I see u and I hope you're doing well.
I was bullied in school, home and other places. Lost parents at age ten. Older bro treated me badly, then left me at 15. Foster folks were not that good either. Had to be home schooled. Being a small kid sucks let me say it but what is inside of you is what matters, the dream, vision, talent u practice daily--Work on that.
God bless u n keep u
Rarely, do we get justice.
Sometimes there's no justice, there's just us.
@@j_freed 😢
True. I share my personal story on my Channel.
I think it's more like 4 in 8, than 1 in 8. Childhood trauma results in dysfunctional attachment styles, and half of all Americans have a non-secure attachment style.
when i was a student all of elementary, many of my teachers knew of the problems i was facing at home and not one of them thought anything of it i guess. i was constantly getting in trouble and scolded by not just my teachers but my father too for ‘not paying attention’ or ‘daydreaming’. it’s so sad how much neglect can be inflicted by just simply being unaware.
A lot of teachers miss the signs in high school. I was falling asleep every day in math class. I was scolded, and I missed lectures. I was forced to stand in class.
What no one cared to figure out was that I was staying up sometimes until 2 am or 4 am because I was trying to keep my dad from assaulting me. I was scared to sleep. Sometimes he didn't let me sleep at all.
Had they looked into it a bit more, they could have helped me. I still have trouble sleeping now because I became so good at keeping myself awake.
Yup same here, the teachers knew my brother and sister and what was happening. But did nothing! I don't understand how anyone can turn a blind eye to abuse.
"Are math facts important when you think your survival is at stake?"
See. I felt this.I still do. But the people around me didn't see anything wrong with me, maybe a little quiet and lazy.
So I not only experienced trauma but also had to deal with the judgment that I didn't try hard enough to be ok; to fulfil these seemingly simple tasks. Because from the outside I was ok but inside a storm was raging.
-
I just want to thank you for sharing this. It's really important to speak for those not heard.
At 55 I can still hear my teachers and their lack of understanding and the overwhelming shame and sense of worthlessness - this was so healing, thank you 💖
Same, I'm 54
I’m really sorry to hear that you had that experience, I hope you are finding peace and healing. ❤️🩹
I am incredibly emotional watching this. Crying my eyes out. I feel like my whole life I have been awaiting something terrible to happen to me. At night, I am afraid to sleep. I feel like I cannot trust people. I feel disconnected from everything then everyone. I have had therapy..love is what heals. Someone to love us thru the pain.
Ashley Marie you are absolutely right! Love is what heals ptsd and almost everything else!! It’s the greatest healer we have!! Why is it so hard for people to give love these days? It’s free and it heals!!
My dog really helps. Ironically she's a Pitbull from the pound. Very empathetic and intelligent. We saved each other.
@@johnritchie9124 that’s 😍 beautiful
@@johnritchie9124 pitbulls are literally therapy dogs
I do a program: THE MAP METHOD with Collette Stryker. It rearranges neural pathways so that trauma no longer feels like its there.
This video have me some light on why I feel the way I do. My mother was very mentally and physically abusive. Math facts aren't important when you feel like your life is at stake.
God I feel that, my dad would flip his lid lots. You never feel safe
As a teacher I appreciate your comment. It is so true that other issues can distract children from the daily tasks at school and that educators sometimes make it worse but then becoming angry with the child. The good news is I know lots of great teachers who are working everyday to improve their practice and learn more about trauma informed teaching. Hopefully this will make a difference.
And... your mother was probably terribly and horribly mentally abused if not physically to be the way she was... I swear history repeats itself. Much love to you.
Mothers are monsters
I had childhood PTSD and can say that I no longer meet the diagnostic criteria because of EMDR therapy. I would not be able to work or function in any way without it. I might not even be alive now. My symptoms were very severe and nothing was helping. I had a brilliant compassionate therapist but he couldn't help me much. EMDR saved me and gave me my life back. It is difficult to reprocess horrible memories and intense emotions, and there was some decompensation for a while, but I pulled through that with the support of an online community of fellow child abuse survivors. Everything therapy required of me was worth it x 10. I still struggle with depression, but the right meds are a blessing. I no longer suffer with severe complex PTSD and dissociative symptoms day and night. I wish nothing less for fellow survivors than the blessed relief you deserve. It is NOT your fault, and you deserve a good life, no matter what your childhood taught you. Love from Canada.
It's very encouraging to hear that. I'm starting emdr in a few months hopefully.
gmkbelanger what is EMDR?
@@4800investor eye movement desensitization reprocessing
God bless you for going through the work & pain to get where you are❤️❤️
gmkbelanger so glad you experienced some relief. EMDR is saving my life.
I told the police and they laughed at me, told me to leave, I was a kid. I told a teacher he shut his door in my face. It's hard
What a brave soul you are. I hear you. 💖
@@micheleagren1604 Thank You
I believe you. People can be incredibly cruel. I hope you can heal :)
same thing happened to me. people in this world re useless
I’m sorry you were not heard
I suffer from PTSD, anxiety, depression, and trauma all my life but never let myself down because I start to focus on doing things I love and I gotta say that Ted Talks is like my life bible.
Nurse here, which means we are teachers on high octane constantly educating, while healing and also treating the traumas, etc. The RIGHT information is important. I'm also a complex PTSD survivor that was finally able to put a name to it all a few years ago. I believe my trauma unlocked my diabetic gene. We have to realize that it's not just a single traumatic event, but many of us lived with chronic subtleties like emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, family bullying, protection of the narcissist, etc. These things follow you into adulthood, the workplace, etc where the triggers are MANY. Thank you.
One thing that made me cringe....flu shots are far from helpful.
Amen!!! Why are we not teaching children what is healthy... teachers really need to know this... thank you Dani.
I faced emotional abuse throughout my entire childhood from my biological father. What made it very challenging was the fact that he had a very prominent Personality Disorder and had the delusion that he was doing things for my "own good".
SO GLAD THIS VIDEO EXISTS!!!
I had CPTSD for 13 years and it was never diagnosed. At 21, I finally sought professional help and was misdiagnosed as Bipolar 2. I took bipolar meds and had a terrible reaction that changed my life. Finally diagnosed with CPTSD by a different person. Everything started to make so much sense. I've been in therapy for almost two years trying to desensitize my triggers. I still have a lot of anxiety but that's probably my general anxiety disorder Haha but I will say life has gotten better. Learning about how and why I feel things changed my perception on who I really am as a human and not a victim. I hope everyone finds healing.
Life can get better! Thanks for watching the video & sharing your story.
Try the EMDR
Me too I talk about it on my channel!
Interesting it should be a Netflix documentary of individuals misdiagnosed. This is serious. Savanah Healing and Blessings😌
Went through the same…but Prayer helps me now🙌🏾🦾Stay Strong🙏🏽
5:33
When u grew up in a burning house, u will think the world is on fire.
Physical mental emotional abuse from an Alcoholic father now 42 yrs old just getting therapy Now ain't seen or spoke to him in 32yrs he suffered at the hands of his own father but I broke the cycle I don't drink my family means more
Congratulations indeed.
one of your points to help this trauma was information. You have already helped me because you stated that you don't have any clear memories of the abuse, only feelings. That has also been my experience and I thought that maybe my experiences aren't real. Thank you for saying that.
Me too I always felt like I was just faking it even what I was feeling was clearly real I just can't remember anything really besides a few hints here and there but blathering still just as scary as it was then
YES! My father was so twisted. From the earliest I can remember. And I've been in therapy working damn hard for nearly 15 years since I was a late teen. Yet I still struggle at times to just live.
Teykel Meeka God Bless you xo hugs
The world does not care about children. Nor anyone else, for that matter.
Looking for a cure? EMDR is amazing and I strongly recommend it to anyone with PTSD
Isn't it weird that people but there children in danger to get them to 'respect'(aka fear) them
It's actually very sad!
We know the world is doomed when respect = fear
I’m also willing to bet that some members of that audience are even guilty of inflicting the trauma she was talking about
I just wonder if they learned anything or disregarded everything.
In the Latino Hispanic culture, this was never even thought of myself at age 7/15, at 32 I was diagnosed with PTSD, Along with other diagnoses. This is to a better understanding..Godspeed!
40% of population experiences emotional abuse, it’s excused because when nearly 1/2 of people deal with it, they tell you just to deal with it, or you should be more appreciative, or you just need to calm down, essentially, that you are the problem.
We even have books we give kids called “don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff”
Invalidation is so prevalent and ingrained in our culture that we have books telling kids how to rationalize the invalidation.
The problem is we need a way to discuss this in a society where 70% of the millennial workforce is Narsasistic and driven by image that they are a good person.
You can’t hold the image of your self as a good person close, and accept that you played a role in abusing others precicley because you where abused as well.
We do better as a goodish person than a good person.
Ah yes. The millennial arguments 😂
True
thankyou David. you are correct.
I commend her strength and wisdom.
Thank you for this :')
"It helps children to know stories of survivors" It helped and inspired me when I knew about what Joyce Meyer stood strong through. I didn't know any other stories besides hers at the time.
I share my personal story on my Channel if you'd be interested in hearing it.
Thank you so much for talking about this!! You have no idea how important this is to people like me and so many millions of others who dealt with childhood trauma and abuse.
I have CPTSD from chronic trauma in my life up to and including my late teens. It took various forms. I also have PTSD from specific incidents of assault and abuse. I started therapy in my 40s after bullying in the workplace. It’s been a very long journey on the path to a better life. I have had very serious illnesses. I’ve also suffered from depression. After a very intensive therapy with very skilled counselors I have moved through the trauma and I am learning to re-integrate those experiences into my life without them controlling my life. It is not been easy because relationships I have had to change including with my parents. I am no longer friends with a couple of people who are toxic. Looking back, I thought I was the only one who suffered in this way. It made me carry a lot of shame throughout my life which I am now learning was never mine to carry. Like you say in your video above, I’d never knew that what I had experienced was considered trauma. I was so afraid I used to hide in the back of the closet and under my bed. Both parents are very narcissistic and my mother has BPD traits. My only relief with school and my teachers. Only in recent years have I begin sharing my experiences with friends I am very very close with. Some of these people I have known for over 20 years. As it turns out, they to have had difficult and often traumatic experiences of their own. Although sharing feels excruciatingly vulnerable, on the other side it relieves our sense of shame and build the closeness and understanding with people we have trusting relationships with. Those friendships have deepened while at the same time I have let others fall away. The nurturing I have felt in response to sharing my story has lifted the shame in my life. I no longer feel like I have to hide who I really am and what I really experienced. And the best possible consequence is that I don’t feel the deep depression and I once did. That depression was forged when I was a baby and by the time I was in kindergarten Are used to raise my hand and asked to be excused to the lavatory where I would go and cry not knowing why. Therapy with a skilled practitioner is amazing. It is very hard work but very rewarding. Although it forced me to confront the pain I experienced through the years, it also allowed me to experience true joy and happiness and the full range of beautiful feelings we as humans were all meant to experience. Blessed are the brave and courageous. Including those of us with PTSD.
I still have nightmares about my childhood trauma. This video makes me feel like I am not alone thank for talking about it.
Very important talk.
I drowned at the age of 1 1/2 and was brought back to life by my mother. One week artificial coma followed with tons of medicine.
My staying teeth are permanently coloured because of that. It's not super bad, but it's a constant reminder.
It also caused me to develop a semisplit personality.
But the biggest problem is my dissociation.
Everytime I get ill, I'll lose the ability to move my legs. Sometimes my whole body.
In extreme cases I get problems breathing.
I'm really glad, I have a very good imagination and creativity. They helped me to self teach me bio feedback to be able to walk more or less, but it's very exhausting to constantly imagine stuff like an exoskeleton or the feeling and visualisation of flying to be able to go upstairs.
I'm 22 now and I and my therapist consider me mentally healthy and without anymore need to get therapy.
But it still can impact me very hard.
I have several other traumas besides that. Some came through exactly the PTSD symptoms from the drowning accident.
I was really surprised then she started talking about dissociation.
I habe still troubles to listen and follow conversations, despite the fact, that I try to follow them.
This is really a very important topic. So I'm glad to see her talking about it.
Gladly I have a very supportive social network.
And yes, teachers: you need to learn about this!!!
I was verbally and physically abused by my father when I was a child untill mu teens, poverty and lack of support trigger it and committed suicide. Thank God I survived. I just knee recently from reading and watching in the internet that I have this PTSD. Our country have no access to this kind of therapy and counciling so I just diagnosed myself
52 my doctor says iv had PTSD since I was 8 when my mother passed and our family split. Now I know what's wrong me!!!!
Can not having friends for years be considered trauma? Like always being alone in school and feeling bad about going everyday
Malou no what brings trauma is thinking you need friends at a certain time in your life or for certain things can lead to traumatic distress. Nobody needs friends- we WANT . Learn the difference between that while young. Think about why you want friends , can you do those things on your own or with yourself?
I maybe wrong, but I feel like trauma is caused by events outside our control. Life threatening events. If you were isolated against your will or threatened that you mustn’t make friends or something bad will happen to you, then yes. Feeling alone at school and not wanting to go sounds like anxiety.
Is children grief trauma
Its lonely and hurtful. Makes you feel unwanted as a 40yr old with really no friends yes its traumatic I don't connect with people well and have anxiety around people
Yes. Definitely.
I suspect I have C-PTSD but I have no access to mental health services where I live. It's great information like this that has helped me through my struggle. Knowledge is power.
Paula, with an internet connection, you may be able to find a therapist online you can work with. Let me know if I can help you search. I am in counseling myself for PTSD.
Thank you so much. I will continue doing research. Thank you for your suggestions. I greatly appreciate it
Where do you live?
Sarah Von Bergen: In a rural area of the Dominican Republic.
Prayers for you! 🙏 I always knew I struggled with anxiety and OCD behaviors but I never realized till recently it was Complex PTSD
this was a great speech by a wonderful and strong woman that I happen to know.
I'm one of those children, my mom, older brothers, and i went through verbal, emotional, and....kinda physical abuse for my brothers and i, I don't know about my brother. All from father. I was then molested by my mom's boyfriend at 12. I now have depression, anxiety, and I isolate myself now too. And moved in with my father. Everything has gotten worse. My dad focuses all verbal, and emotional abuse out on me. And I will have to go through this for 4 more years since I'm 14 right now. I wonder if I got PTSD. Please tell me if you went through something similar.
I am so sorry… I hope you have been able to receive the help you need, and are in a safe environment now? You are not alone. 💚
Thank you. You’re what I would call a high-functioning trauma survivor. Many aren’t as resilient... I treat them for addictions.
Thank you for what you do
1 in 8 CHILDREN! IS THIS 2018?
Cecilia O it’s more like 1 in 3
Cecilia O it’s a much higher number but we don’t have a way to accurately count. Entire populations
@@margaretcampbell2681 exactly
I was 6 years old when my mother told me that she want to take her life, since than my life was completly destroyed. It was like an nuclear bomb exploded right in my head and I survived. Even now today I get kompletly shocked when I remember that. My body is sweating and I feel so much anger about this situation -no- I feel anger about her, my mother who told me that when I was playing and destroyed my world. I am overreacting when I am talking with her. I am thinking about getting a counselor to try to heal my inner child, but I don´t dare to face this fear. :(
Twice I found my Mom drunk and taking overdose of Rxs. She told me she was sorry life's too hard!
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us x I have an almost identical story to you and watching this today has strengthened my desire to share my story with others to raise awareness of how deeply trauma can impact a childs future and quality of life xx
I wish I knew the about this earlier. Thank you for making this a talking point. Most people have no idea what we go throught just to survive
@@daniellebostick6514 I'm 53 and just getting to the lifting of the veil and trying to piece my old and new person's together. Its been a lifetime of suffering but dont give up good therapist are worth it.
Thank you for this! Wish I knew this was happening in Greenville, where I live & I would have attended! I have adopted children who have severe trauma, it’s been such a long hard road & im glad this is getting more exposure. Thanks for sharing your story
It also makes people criminals. Lots of serial killers had horrific childhoods.
I was phisically abused by my stepdad when I was 14.
And I am a survivor
clicking on another ted talk that I know will hit too close to home... :(
Do it. Now.
Thank you for posting this! I am a victim and survivor of childhood trauma, i recently have survived a suicide attempt after reporting to the police after 25 years, i am in a better place rn but i really loved your video you are correct we are not alone, it took me to see my greater purpose. I am in the beginning of reinventing mysef
your gonna be hella strong i promise you
As adults however you cannot fall victim to early trauma. The way to heal is to advance forward. Something I told my own subscribers this week. As I see this daily as a healthcare provider. People who are destroyed adults because they couldn't outrun a terrible childhood. Too many times this becomes the excuse to give up. The reason someone won't try. "Because this (fill in the blank) happened to me." Now understand I am not discounting terrible childhoods. I had one as well. What I am saying is that the world doesn't care. It is totally indifferent. It may owe you but good luck trying to collect. The only way to collect your due is to go out and seek it, pursue it and take it back from the universe. The stories of great triumph are rarely without great adversity--ever notice that? Most will lie down to bad circumstances. But those who get up and fight back will insure that their story is a great one. Hope this helps someone out there---keep being great---Charles.
My mentality ill mother past me around to her men friends when I was little until I was 5 ,I was finally removed from the home. Then I a allowed men to abuse me for the rest of my life..
God loves you! You are special! You are worthy. Please talk to someone, open up and love yourself. God bless you.
Let me know if I can help. There are a lot of narcissistic personalities out there antisocial behavior and they have no conscience and the trauma we experienced makes us vulnerable to them bc we’ve never seen anything else. It exists. Good exists. I have an Instagram that focuses on these things and I’d love to help. You don’t have to follow me. loverevolutionaries
Good God! I’m so sorry for you... I can’t even imagine. I hope you find healing for that broken little heart.
Hopefully since this talk she's learned about C-PTSD and how emotional abuse victims also experienced trauma. She doesn't mention them, but it's been shown that long-term emotional abuse is by far the most damaging to a child/person. People need to understand that and to learn to recognize emotional abuse enough to save another child from suffering a lifetime due to it.
Amen!
Hers was not a comprehensive presentation, but more an anecdotal one. She didn't even mention traumatic loss and separation from family, for example. It's not her personal experience or the hand in life she's been dealt.
I think 'Buck' is an amazing documentary on the concerns of long-term emotional abuse and surviving these dysfunctional, toxic and unsupportive families. Part of it is actually a choice, and hard work. Not fair, no but an opportunity.
The sad thing is people don't take it as seriously as physical abuse.
@@vj563 So true. It's really disenfranchised grief, as it is completely unrecognized by media and society. Ironically, all the psychology experts say emotional abuse if far more damaging over the course of the abused person's life - both physically and mentally - than physical abuse....
@@j_freed I'd disagree with choice, since studies show actual changes in brain formation and brain functioning. That's like telling a blind person to choose to see. If our brains are damaged, we can't completely erase that. The hard work is what those of us who endured it are doing endlessly. It's an exhausting and unfair way of life that no one should have to endure. And the hard work too doesn't completely eradicate it. Like grief it's a wavering line - some days good, some not - and that never ends.
It’s the seventh grade social studies teacher for me too!!!
Thank you so much for this Dani! So much of what you said here is spot on for me.
For healing, I have found the works of Pete Walker and Peter Gerlach to be the most helpful. I have also found that talk therapy/counseling to be unhelpful and oftentimes harmful. Most therapists don't know how to treat C-PTSD.
Great lecture! I think everyone should watch this, and learn. School was my refuge from the abuse at home. I'm also a master of disassociation... The internet has been a good thing as far as connecting with others who know about cptsd. Children are our most precious resource, I connect with them as often as I can. I've supported many in the past, especially when I was teaching. The other teachers were dumbfounded when I would volunteer to be in charge of the "problem kids" on field trips.. We always had amazing fun, and they were almost always sleeping on the bus ride home, while everyone else was being loud and crazy. I had a couple teachers that supported me back when I was that age. I'm not sure where I'd be or if I'd even be without that.
In India childhood abuse is still far from consideration into the society. People don't know about it, nor talk about any PTSD or mental issues. Its kinda taboo, and that's the saddest part. Its really sad how childhood abuses are unheard and unnoticed in schools, homes, public places, etc. And vast majority of childrens being grown ups hardly talk about their traumas, which makes it more worst. Victims, dissociate and isolate themselves or suppress their emotions, nor there are any help or information from medical fields about counselling and therapy. I hope some day mental traumas will be treated as much as like physical diseases.
Something I find insane is that I was exhibiting a lot of really obvious symptoms of trauma in high school and none of my teachers picked it up, and if they have been trained in what to look for, they could have. Instead they thought my hypervigelance, overreactions and dissociations were funny and cute. It is weird how many people still see that behaviour as cute...
I do a program: THE MAP METHOD with Collette Stryker. It rearranges neural pathways so that trauma no longer feels like its there. It has changed my life, truly
God Bless You Girl! Your hard earned gifts of reach and voice are the result of a well fought war that you have won! 💖 LEAD ON! 💖Keep Speaking and Sharing Information Please! You made me cry when you said "I've had a good life".....it's the hope and the face that the current PTSD awareness needs.
You march with such fierce and calm grace. 💖💯
You have won. You know how. You can teach the world. 💖
Thank you, Dani. You very bravely described it very well.
I know I have C-PTSD, but don't have the money for any sort of treatment.. :(
6:58 "in fact I don't have any memories of my trauma". Then how did her swimming instructor get convicted? How is she sure that he did something if she has no memories of it?
This was an amazing presentation.
Such a clear, complete message on an important topic. We HAVE to keep having these conversations and it’s so interesting to know all of us. Good and bad. Are merely products of our environment it really brings to thought metacognition and the true, underlying reasons to why we express certain behaviors.
Dealing with childhood abuse and truama is not easy.. I'm having hard time at the moment.
I am here at the age of 40 I was just diagnosed with PTSD and my husband who is a military veteran called it ! Here's to breaking generational curses!
I don't think about the military. I think about growing up in the projects and living in poverty. That will give you a bad case of PTSD.
C-ptsd cost me my family, the love of my life and my one true chance at happiness 😔
Sincerely hope you find a way of peace. if there is any positive light know that in sharing your story you may help someone else be strong in there journey. Maybe helping others will bring light into your world
I know i have trauma because my older half brother who i think 16-18 years older than me threatened to kill all of us. I remember my siblings and i sleeping in our neighbors house just so we wont witness the quarrel between my father and my half- brother.
I am now 58 years old and i am still scared witnessing people who are fighting and shouting at each other
Also there is a darker secret in my family regarding my mother which i never recovered i think until now.
This is the reason why i care so much about children. I want them to feel safe and loved which i never experienced growing up
Thank you for your bravery and courage and strength. PTSD me too..
Have a look at Richard Grannon he has very useful info for dealing with cptsd.
I think I'm a hero, I've survived a war of a different kind, are you a hero to?
I am 33 years old. And still suffering from PTSD cause during my childhood.
children experience traumas due to.neglect of caregiver or parents. in some cases parents themselves are involved in it ,it can also b criminal conspiracy to harm childrn but no one to question them
I’m a 30 year old man an a recluse to my family. In order for them to understand, I’d have to tell them and I don’t think I can. I don’t think I ever can.
is it possible to have ptsd if you were never physically harmed I had a family member who was extremely abusive and made me think my life was in danger all the time but I can't remember ever being physically harmed I have a lot of issues because of this that could be ptsd but im not sure
yes of course
emotional damage
and neglect
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing. It's so hard to find help EVEN w Canadian health care. Just drug u up. Trauma Informed Therapy is mostly out of pocket, unless fm a crime 😞
Come to America. I work at a huge nonprofit that provides state and government funded trauma informed care.
@@AprilSunshine I'm in America and am so lost.😔 I'm currently unemployed and having so much trouble returning to work. Have just scraped the last of my savings. . I hear "I need to get over it." from the very people that caused much of my trauma. I really am thinking everyone (including me) would be better off if I were to just pass away. I'm trying to remain strong but it's so so hard...especially when nobody seems to understand. I feel so isolated and not understood by anyone.
Thank you for this, it's like you're in my head 😩
I’m just confused about HOW you discovered who the predator was when you say you have no memory of those 5 years. Thank you.
But went to jail for something else I have never had the support from people I loved they just want me to never talk about it and the women has never supported me and one do not believe and we are not close at all
I'm 13 and I have trauma from 2nd grade I've tried to talk to people about it but the counselors dont realize its serious
Although this makes me cry and sad because I get taken back to all my trauma, but it also makes me feel so thankful of how far I've come, it's only by the grace of God that I am still here today, he's still working on me every day every moment. He has a purpose for us all, he loves us more than we can ever comprehend... If your reading this you are a survivor! a warrior! Because you are still alive! Keep going! 💞💞💞
I am just finding out about my trauma. Flashbacks are the worst. I have a complex history of trauma and most of it I remember.
I agree, thank you 🙏 you’re awesome!❤️😘❤️
During the peak of my trauma, things were so bad that I threw myself into studying to avoid eating. I starved myself in order to cope. I was in the top 10% of my class. No one suspected a thing until it all came crumbling down to a suicide attempt and even then, I didn't receive help. I still struggle. Currently suicidal but I hope some day it gets better...
She should be commended for giving these survivors a voice
Complex trauma, is something that's not much talked about.
I myself is a trauma survivor and with cptsd, so to my mind Complex trauma is the big brother of PTSD. Again the intensity of suffering and conditions can vary from person to person.
I'm 25 and I'm still stuck
Great presentation Dani, very enlightening and trully there is something we all can do.
Great talk....Gov around the world should make this type of talks mandatory for all citizens to listen to!