Does Saying No to Food Feel Like Self Denial?
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- Опубліковано 20 гру 2023
- DOES SAYING NO TO FOOD FEEL LIKE SELF DENIAL?
#bingeeating #bingeeatingrecovery #overeating
Disclaimer: This video is for information purposes only and my content should not be used as a substitute for seeking treatment from a healthcare provider. My content is not going to be suitable for everyone, so please use your self discernment before applying any video content in your own life.
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🌟 Welcome to The Binge Eating Therapist with Sarah, a compassionate psychotherapist sharing insights on binge eating recovery. In this video, Sarah addresses a common struggle: navigating self-denial and permission around food. If you're on a journey to give up dieting, embrace food freedom, or break free from the stress of restriction, this video is a must-watch.
🤔 Have you ever felt scared to say no to a food craving, fearing it might be perceived as self-denial? Sarah explores the delicate balance between permission and control, offering practical advice for those striving to eat more freely without guilt.
🔍 Key Points:
Understanding Self-Denial: Sarah delves into the definition of self-denial and its connection to the experience of food restriction. For individuals with a history of diets or eating issues, this can feel like a form of trauma.
The Paradox of Recovery: Explore the polarized views on self-denial in recovery communities, from addiction-focused programs advocating denial to food freedom programs emphasizing breaking free from self-denial and restriction.
Importance of Self-Understanding: Sarah shares the significance of recognizing your thinking patterns, especially the loud voice of restrictive thinking. Understanding your own motivations is crucial in navigating the delicate balance of saying yes and no to food.
Now or Not Now Decision: The concept that deciding to have or not have a certain food is not a permanent choice. It's about embracing the moment and understanding that opportunities to enjoy food will arise again.
Enjoying Food Without Guilt: Sarah emphasizes the priority of learning to enjoy food without guilt, a significant step in recovery. Permission is about alleviating conflict and guilt to be present with the eating experience.
The Work of Recovery: Discover the ongoing process of checking in with motivations, ensuring they serve your well-being. Focus on motivations rather than outcomes to avoid setbacks in the recovery journey.
First & foremost, if I remove the "too much" foods, from any day, what's left is a healthy amount/not a deficit. ✅ I've read about so many (contradictory) recovery schools of thought, from Geneen Roth (read in the 90s and still remember the potato skins story vividly) to Bright Line Eating (Susan has said cookie dough is more addictive than crack) and I appreciate you acknowledging them and presenting a nuanced alternative. Great point about the correlation between freely deny/freely allow; I didn't appreciate allowing a grace period before finding a "free no." I love the idea that denying impulses that truly don't serve us is an important skill, in this case, ostensibly denying yourself "pleasure" because deep down you know you will not actually enjoy it. And, not no, but rather, not now. Thank you Sarah 🙏
Sarah, I LOVE the concept of 'it's not yes or no, it's now or not now'. Brilliant ! Parallel with fitness (or yoga, since you're into this) h it's not 'I can't do this', it's "I can't do this YET'. Thank you for the amazing content you bring to us ! And merry Xmas in advance 🎄🎄
And a merry Christmas to you ❤️
Ha. What you said about checking in if you’re actually eating in a deficit.
When I’m in a deliberate deficit, one that I planned logically, prepared for, I have no conflict with myself. I can stick it out for the week or two that I mean to “shred” a bit and it’s not a strain on my mind at all, and I don’t binge.
But a sneaky mindset can creep in when I’m not deliberately in a deficit. Because I feel less in control when I’m “just living”/eating intuitively, I’ll start trying to cut back a little bit here and there every day… have black coffee instead of a latte. Use water in oats instead of milk = save calories. That kind of thing. Rather than just let myself eat what I want exactly. And then a few days into eating “normally” suddenly I’m bingeing every day, feeling crap during and after, and the hellish conflict begins!
There is more to the story I’m sure, but it really resonated that one of the reasons we binge is we may simply not be eating enough for our regular meals. Just makes so much sense!
Sarah i listen to all your videos repeatedly. This is one that has really resonated this morning and I'm on the third listen now, my coach has suggested i might be trying to work on step 10 when I'm still at 1, got to build on skills instead of rushing to the 'end'- so hard!!
Choosing to wait and have something tomorrow has worked for me in the past, very helpful tip.
This was so beautifully done. Thank you
Everything you’ve mentioned is so accurate!! 💯 I’m definitely gonna work on checking in and pausing more to be more mindful as to how I approach food and eating.
Again, thank you so much for your content! 💛 Love and listen to the podcast heaps too which has, and still is, helping so much! You and Steph are awesome! 🙏
You are very welcome. I’m glad our content is helping you ❤️
So helpful, thank you. :)
❤ AWESOME VIDEO! ❤
Thanks!
Thank you Dorothy! This is very kind of you ❤️❤️
@TheBingeEatingTherapist this is no-cost therapy - happy to buy you a cup of coffee 😊
@@dorothymarrero7399 🙏🏼🥰
I keep on falling in this cycle of guilt eating and worrying about my weight, unable to workout. And then eating untill my body hurts. Then I just not restrict myself and normalize eating. The guilt goes away and then I'm back on track.
❤️🩹
Hi Sarah! Please may I ask if your book is available as an audiofile for download somewhere? I want to listen when walking but it's tricky with the youtube app? Thanks for being there for all of us
Unfortunately it’s not. You can get the 7 day free trial of UA-cam Premium and cancel before you have to pay anything and it can be downloaded that way
This video makes me want to hear you describe what it means when you "want" something authentically.
For example, a piece of cheesecake on a random Tuesday for no reason or occasion. Both a person with no binge/restrictive tendencies and a person with them would want it only because it tastes good and is pleasurable to eat. What is the difference between their wants?
A person who just wants the cheesecake will eat it and feel satisfied. A person who wants it in a binge urge is not going to feel satisfied by a portion.
Having experienced both, I would say that I learned to tell the difference. When the desire came from a binge place it felt more urgent, more agitated. I would definitely not want to be present while I ate it.
Part of my recovery was learning to tell the difference. Sometimes when I wasn’t sure I would say to myself, ‘you can have it, but you have to really savour it’. This usually revealed it as I would experience strong resistance to this in a binge urge
Could you do a video on the financial side of binge eating, or point me in the direction of some resources about the topic? I want to try all the things you describe in your videos but I don't have the money to buy what I want when I want it and I'm worried that my rationing of buying the foods I'm bingeing on is only feeding the desire to binge.
I'm in the position where I can't save any money because I spend it all on food, and it feels like I'm trapped and sinking deeper and deeper
Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll mull this over. I don’t know if any resources specifically on this topic unfortunately.
🙏
What about when denying feels restrictive and allowing feels needless and compulsive, both activating and perpetuating food obsession, distrust, weight gain, etc.
All the information is so contradicting which just makes this process so much harder!!
I checked in with myself, softened to the present moment and if I still wanted it, I had it. I just slowed it down and focused on enjoying it. This felt impossible to do in a compulsive state. Geneen Roth puts it this way, "Presence and compulsion cannot co-exist since the latter requires obliteration of the former".
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist Oh I really like this! Thankyou as always Sara... and Geneen Roth 🙏
What if I am in binge eating recovery and I am trying to go vegan? Is this reasonable denial or not? I am thinking it's OK because I'm too permissive with food and I allow myself to have too much on a regular basis and I don't really restrict other than mentally feeling guilty later...I wonder if you have a video about self-denial and vegetarianism/veganism or really self denial and how it relates to binge eating recovery when dietary restrictions are necessary.
I addressed this in my New Years Eve live Q&A. I think it’s in the first half of this video; ua-cam.com/users/liveC-JuW-a9gdA?si=FdIuR3Z2MNXdAC-j