Entitled Mother-in-Law is SUING ME for not letting her see MY KIDS on the Weekend - Reddit Podcast
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- Опубліковано 14 чер 2023
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Ok
Okay
Story 2: As an autistic person, no! Not a jerk! Your parents need to stop coddling her. She has to learn boundaries while with round the clock care.
Exactly! Fellow autistic person her. No this is because no one(her parents) never did their duty and taught her right vs wrong
Autism isn't an excuse for doing heinous things, I'm autistic and even I know that's wrong
@@chocodraws5137I feel the same autism doesn't effect that
@@DrewJames-bv3opno. Autism is never an excuse to break boundaries. I'm autistic as well, and boundaries should be reinforced. The concept of moral right and wrong is something that isn't impaired too much. I struggle with reading social cues but I do understand right from wrong.
I have autism and while I’m rather highly functional, I understand boundaries, although being around a bunch of people is still uncomfortable for me.
Story #2 - No, it's not cut and dried. However, OP's comment about how her life was with Anna up until she was 18 may actually give us more clues. I suspect OP had to essentially put her life on hold growing up. Her parents likely always put Anna's needs ahead of hers and they're only 1yr apart. Personally, I think the parents are the jerks. OP is just trying to get married without her sister mauling her husband.
I know I will be condemned for my opinion but I stand by it.
Þe parents come off as Autism Parents. Wouldn't be surprised if þey did noþing to help Anna and blamed her autism when she never improved.
Hey I have a mild autism on the spectrum and I don’t show it and stuff and I am better and normal. I don’t see other autism as my equal and they will never be equal to me or other people with different autism and I feel like the parents failed at treating her as a normal person and not taking to her to therapy and sad parts the autism sisters is a failure and hopeless and pathetic and worthless and stupid and how sad that she doesn’t have common sense of personal boundaries and she is stupid how sad for her because she will be alone.
100% with ya
No you are right, you need to understand why family can be selfish in this manner smh
Nope, as someone on the spectrum, I agree with you
Story 2: You can't really do much to teach someone with this level of autism and it sounds like Anna needs round-the-clock care. Even if Anna doesn't understand her parents certainly SHOULD understand what is and isn't appropriate behavior. It's the OPs wedding and ultimately, her decision as to who's invited. If Anna's behavior is disruptive to the point where her care is an unfair burden on the OP then it's perfectly reasonable why she wouldn't want that at her wedding, let alone someone else trying to kiss your own fiance during the wedding.
A compromise could be to allow her at the reception instead, which is a much more social occasion (it's not uncommon to have a separate guest list) and wouldn't disrupt the ceremony itself. Doesn't sound like the OP's parents are going to take any compromise though, which is their problem and their problem alone. Definitely not the jerk.
Agreed. And I would have Anna sit away from the OP and finances table and tell the parents to keep an eye on her
given how the parent are going my money is on that op has had to put her own life aside for anna, if thats the case then yeah in a way op is right also given the parents are legit just letting anna do whatever she wants and not getting any help and that they went no contact with op unless she basically breaks up with her husband makes me think this was op having to cater to anna for year and the parents plan to keep catering instead of getting her proper help cause yeah she doesnt understand but when off help the parent dont want it so its really all on them at this point
I’d say it’s more of no a holes here ops view is understandable but it’s definitely not cool to exclude your sister from your wedding bright side op is in her early 20s so it’s 60% likely this won’t be her only wedding
No, I don't like over the touchy people, what if she tried to undress her fiancé in front of her to have "cozy" time with him, do you think that would be appropriate? Of course not, she has done her part for the sister and it's her wedding she has every right to say NO, god dam this is why family is toxic 😤😤
I agree wholeheartedly. I have a cousin with Down syndrome and autism. And despite those obstacles in his life, he was always raised to understand if what he was doing was wrong or not. He was disciplined differently than other kids but was still brought up to understand the simple yes and nos in life. Not to mention that these parents are the kind that just accepts that OP was FORCED to be there for this and figured she was okay with her situation instead of being understanding that she probably had to sacrifice a ton to help take care of her sister. It isn't unreasonable for her to pay for professional care of her sister so she doesn't spend the remainder of her life taking care of her too.
That is still sexual assault and it’s being let go and not corrected bc of your parents. Idc what your parents say, don’t give in. Tell them they have 3 months to find a sitter. They are enabling her! They are not doing any favors by letting her act like that. I was gonna ask what they will do with her when they pass. If they don’t get her help then they can stay home. It’s their child not yours. You sacrificed your whole childhood. Idc if she has “feelings” like that it’s not ok to let her grope her sisters husband
Grandparents have no rights in a situation like this. You should probably get a restraining order, so sorry, especially for your hubby.
Story two: she’s not the asshole. It doesn’t matter what her condition is, does Michael just have to put up with someone trying to kiss and touch him all the time even on his wedding? I can’t imagine an autistic son grabbing and touching a woman and being told to “get over it”. And not wanting this for one day isn’t wrong.
Nor she be expected to be her caretaker forever. She didn’t come into this world to raise her sister, it may sound unfair but I know what this is like. You are allowed to have a life
I hate when parent do this type of thing. Autistic or not she shouldn’t be allowed to touch all over him like that. That’s sexual assault. They could probably get her to learn good touch, bad touch. Enabling the autistic child and not letting the other daughter have a life of her own is ridiculous, it’s not her job to be her caregiver. What will happen to her if something happens to the parents? Seems like mom n dad are the jerks in this situation
Agreed!
You couldn't be more right. No one is obligated to shoulder their parent's debts. Frankly the sexual harassment of Michael thing shouldn't have been allowed to happen once much less multiple times. I have worked in mental health residential programs for 20 years. I can say with authority that behavior should have been stopped immediately by force if necessary and never allowed again even if it means the woman has to be excluded from events and family gatherings. That is beyond unacceptable. People often think that any sort of disability means total helplessness and it most certainly does not.
@@maryjane4432 I have mild autism and on the spectrum and don’t show it and I don’t see other autistic people as my equal and they will never be equal to me or to others people with autism and for the sister she is a failure and a worthless and mentally ill person and compared my self to her I am the better one and normal than her then she will ever because she is a failure and worthless for not having common sense or being normal and she will never be better or successful. If I saying something wrong or offensive please tell.
@@maryjane4432 yeah- the wedding aside, this is super dangerous. They're making this autistic daughter vulnerable to SA- this problem extend even beyond giving their other daughter ONE day for herself. They should hear what they're saying, and think deeply.
Story 2 - No it's not "normal". And you are 100% right and your parents are 100% wrong. Live your life. Don't push it aside for anyone.
Story 5 - Absolutely DO NOT PAY. If your ex said anything about paying then it comes out of his pocket Alone. And $700 for a pair of shoes?! That's just so SO stupid.
Story 6 - Bottom line, the answer is NO. Period. You don't have to help anyone or give anyone anything unless you WANT to.
Why are shoes so expensive in the U.S.? Where I'm from, you could spend $100 maximum for decent dress shoes without breaking the bank.
@@JamesDavy2009they're either Air Force Ones or Jordans. Maybe limited edition shoes.
The story about the shoes made me laugh. If you expect someone to replace your shoes because they accidentally stepped on your kids foot, then you should tell your kid not to wear them any where. I would have told her I’m not paying 2 car payments for a pair of shoes that clearly won’t last long.
Bravo for standing up for yourself about going to college with the money that grandma saved for you!! Don't worry about the toxic family and go enjoy your college life
Shoe story: kid shouldnt bring $700 shoes to school and expect them to stay squeaky clean. Schools are full of accidents waiting to happen. Other kids with muddy shoes, potential vomit, etc.
If i got told to pay for someones shoes like that I'd A) laugh at them for buying $700 shoes when I have a perfectly fine pair from Walmart and B) tell them that they're insane to expect the least safe article of clothing to stay perfect if you're wearing them out in public. I wouldn't demand compensation if I wore a nice suit to a mcdonalds and some kid running around tripped and got ketchup on it. If I did I'd be laughed out of court for wearing a nice suit at mcdonalds
Last story - The cat cared more about OP than sis did.
If sis needs money, get it from her Mom who always gave it to her before. And what about sis's hubby? His "investments" caused the financial problems.
No, OP isn't the jerk. Mom, sis and sis's husband are. Stand your ground, OP. It seems they can't be bothered with you unless they need something.
I will never stop hating people for pulling the "you'd choose them over your own flesh and blood?" crap. Sharing blood doesn't make you family and as the parent of fur babies myself, your fur baby can be far closer family than someone you happen to share a bit of DNA with
@@drakephoenixfeather4056
Amen
Amen
Thats what I was thinking
@@drakephoenixfeather4056I think the saying goes "Blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the womb." Either way, I 100% agree. I only need 3 fingers to count the family members I actually care for. Everyone else is either dead, estranged due to a lack of contact, or only tolerated for the sake of my parents trying to get along with them, despite my biological grandfather being a POS and my aunt being a b***h.
At the beginning of the year, I had to deal with the realization my elderly cat of 18 years has diabetes and when she could have died because her sugar levels dropped too low at one point (the initial dosage of insulin prescribed was too much and her system ended up crashing), I was more than prepared to spend a couple hundred or thousand at the animal hospital so she could survive. If it had been my extended family, I would have had to be motivated or incentivized to consider going to such lengths.
@@Stealth_Saber Blood of the covenant but yes. It means the covenant we choose to keep (the people we call our family) is stronger than the water that held us in the womb
I'm sorry to hear about your cat, I hope they're doing better now. I'm 100% prepared to put myself into debt if either of my boys need surgery (two dogs) but I have zero familial relationships I'd help like that
Story 2 : The parents are the assholes. Not because they want Anna to go to the wedding, but because they neglected her education. There is a class of autistic children in my school. Relatively verbal but with a lot of cognitive difficulties, etc, pretty much the same as Anna. They do have difficulties to understand boundaries, but they were taught them! And even if you can't explain it the way you does with another children, you can taught them in a way they understand. They are 11 to 15 and even the kid who are a serial hugger ask permission now and understand no is no. They are setting Anna for much more difficulty in life because they enable her behavior instead of taking proper care of her education!
Wearing 700-dollar shoes to school and not expecting there's a chance for them to be stepped on is idiotic.
LoL let the Mil try to sue you. .. the judge is going to laugh in her face! And she has absolutely no right to act this way
The second one i totally understand why you don't want her around the wedding. No they need to help Ana understand that what she is doing is wrong and yes she is not your responsibility
Story #4: Let dad pay for them . The kid couldn't wash his shoes? Tell dad to shove it!
Right? Has this lady ever heard of soap and a sponge? She could just clean the shoes and that aside spending $700 on shoes of all thing is just a pointless waste of money and who gives those to kids and let's them go to school which is just begging for them to get dirty
I think you guys got story 4 and 5 mixed up
As someone who has autism, with story 2, I can understand both sides of the aisle. I'm level 1 autistic and I was diagnosed with Asperger's at 13 which was considered highly functional autism which means I don't have to rely on other people for care around the clock like Anna but there's things I don't and will never understand. In Anna's case, with her level of autism, she should be held accountable to a certain degree if the OP has told her many times, "Michael doesn't like that and can you stop that?" Even nonverbal autistic children and adults that have had the proper care, teachings, and nurturing, even at that level, can understand how to respect boundaries. But it all depends on the parents and how they raised their child with autism. Again, I have autism so I understand both sides but if Anna is constantly disrespecting OP's boundaries even OP has asked her thousands of times to stop and why, then, that's the parent's fault for not backing up the OP and telling Anna she has to respect OP's boundaries. So, as an autistic person, OP is not a jerk.
Yay another autistic person :)
As a fellow autistic person I agree fully with this Anna does need around the clock care but op was a little silly for suggesting her sister would do something to her future kids at least that's my take on it
@@saintlytiger7504 yay another autistic person
@@saintlytiger7504 yeah. I agree. Here's where I stand on OP saying Anna might hurt OP's children: their parents should sign Anna up for babysitting classes if any place in their area offers it. Then, Anna might be knowledgeable on what she can and can't do around children
Story 2: she was the 🍑🕳️ UNTIL the Michael thing. it sounds like the parents didn't teach the sister what was appropriate.
I agree, the parents should've taken that girl to a psychiatrist monthly. You can teach children with autism how to act, it's just harder than a child without autism.
Wouldn't be surprised if þe parents þrew up þeir hands and went "We've tried noþing and we're all out of ideas."
@@Demonic_Culture_Nut children with autism are supposed to see a psychiatrist often, the doctors explain to the parents on how to help their child at home. The doctors can't do everything. And it sounds like these parents didn't make much of an effort.
I have Autism and it's different for each person. For OP'S sister it may be high functioning so while I agree her parents should have gotten her help earlier I don't agree that it makes OP the 🐴🕳️ because it's not her responsibility to care for her sister everyday of her life. If the parents really wanted to come they had 1 of 2 options. Either help the sister earlier in her life or take up OP'S offer.
15:26 shoes dont get ruined that easily, they can handle that their hand-me-down shoes got a drop of mud on them...
How do you make that thingy with the time?
I wonder how much the dad pays in support. I hope it’s more then $1400 a month if he wants you to pay for it
Story #1: It sounds like OP was expected to take care of her sister while growing up and was being groomed to be her caregiver if anything happened to her parents. Her parents are upset that OP won't be there to help them and are used to letting the sister have her way.
Story 1?
You mean story 2
Walking in to a puddle, getting stepped on and so on are normal threats for shoes. Shoes are there to keep your feet clean and safe. No judge would ever make you pay for "destroying" someone's shoes just because someone stepped on them by accident.
Who has 700 dollar shoes? In highschool much less... But I bet there's a way to get the shoes clean baking soda is awesome
A lot of people have expensive shoes, especially young people. Having high name brand clothes makes you look "cool". But on the other hand, you'd think shoes that expensive would be more sturdy, and not so easily damaged.
Story 2- I hate the fact that the parents are saying that "Anna may never experience a wedding of her own"?! So what, you're going to use the OP to give her own wedding to her disabled sister? If that happens then the bride herself isn't going to feel like its her own wedding. I know having someone in your family being disabled sucks but you cant just give her everything she wants, there has to be a limit or she wont understand what right and whats wrong. Just letting it happen isn't going to help her at all. The parents should be considerate of the OP's feelings as well instead of always thinking about Anna, thats just favouritism, Anna does have problems but the way this sounds, the parents don't care about what you feel and immediately cut your feelings off right away, Ur not the AH
The shoe one. Yes the only thing the dad got right was taking responsibility. Everything else he didn't get right. I would say to him "Since you feel that way. Next time he does something here where he has to take responsibility and a bill. You'll be getting the bill."
Story 2 - There’s no gray area here. What Anna is doing is harrassment, even if it’s coming from a disable person. OP wants her fiancé to be safe and not have to worry about being harassed on their wedding day. If the harasser can’t be talked down(which is impossible due to mental disability in this case) then the next logical thing to do is keep them away. That’s exactly what OP is doing
Wait wait wait...op this, anna that. How does Michael feel about enforced physical boundaries being broken?! Omg!
Last Story: Sure it would be the bigger thing to help her out, but you don’t owe your siblings help. The other family members blowing her up should help if their so concerned. It sounds like they also haven’t talked much, so it’s also kind of low to ask for money from a sibling you don’t talk to, and get mad when the OP has stated they are a bit financially tight, even if they could potentially afford it.
2nd story: no its not cut and dry, but this is your wedding. That doesnt mean that its ok for her to do it,and its just for one day. Its your day, not Annas and from what weve heard, youve been catering to her condition even when it makes you uncomfortable. You asking for Anna to not be there on your wedding day just so you can have the day to you and your new husband isnt too much to ask. You could even fo a small familial thing before/after the planned ceremony so Anna can feel included. Either way, youre not the AH
Last story: not the AH, just being petty. Petty isnt Jerk, bjt that doesnt mean its a good thing. Be petty queen, just understand that youre destroying a chamce to reconnect to a sister that didnt actually do anytbing wrong, as you said
Story two: OP isnt being selfish. Her parents not only expected her to put her life on hold to help with her special needs sister, they expected her to enable this situation, and be codependent. Getting the proper care would disrupt the enabling and the codependency.
OP, please cut your parents and your sister out of your life. They e already proven that they will guilt you into giving up your newly found marriage, and your independence in order to care for your sister.
Story where OP’s sister is special needs : I have Autism (ASD) and I am FULLY on OP’s side… if Anna wants to have a relationship with her sister / BIL she needs to at least respect their boundaries wether or not she understands why they have those boundaries…
Story 3 has another issue besides the step dad. The step dad openly called her stupid because she is a woman in front of the mother and the .other is mad she retaliated by speaking facts. The mother has now shown she cares more about the step dad and his misogynistic opinions of women than her own biological daughter, and I don't think she picked up on that. She Is literally surrounded by people who do not respect her. I believe she 100% need to stop talking to them until they can treat her with more respect. Especially the mom.
Story 2: the OP's husband has the right not to be sexually harrassed at his own wedding.
Story 2: Here’s how I see it. OP is understanding of Anna’s condition. Has even tried to solve the issue at hand in the past.
What is the issue? Not OP’s comfort. It’s the comfort of Michael (the fiance) that is an issue. He’s the one that, on the day he’s marrying OP, would have to deal with Anna clinging to and trying to kiss him. And, autistic or not, I think anyone would be uncomfortable dealing with that
“For choosing a man over her sister” - last time I checked spouse always comes before siblings
Story 3: I remember reading that post alot of people were calling him the asshole because he did that and causing stress on his wife , to which I understand that point but HE had told her multiple times she needed to eat and rest and to stop working so much SHE was putting the babies at more risk for basically starving herself and pushing to keep working. Even her Doctor has told her to take it easy so her husband did what he needed to do for their unborn children , imagine if she had passed out and the babies were in distress because of her actions , who would get the blame? Him why? Because he didn't stop her or whatever, he'd be the one iced out for not being "helpful or caring" when she was the one being neglectful.
Story 4: uuhh ain't nobody gonna pay for those mf shoes 💀 they shouldn't have been wearing those damn things to school in the first place , if it's highschool or middle school those hallways are hectic asf 😂 everyone is pushing through people to get to class or to skip or play around so maybe the kid wearing it should have been more responsible instead of being a show off 🤣
15:32 I feel like the parent responsible for the child should pay, and since you shouldn't wear expensive shoes or bring pricy stuff to school in the first place, they shouldn't be responsible for no bore than 20% of the replacement cost.
First story she's obviously got something wrong with her and is a danger to others. You guys if I'm you would get I would get a restraining order. She clearly not right with herself.
Story 2: I think something the parents arent thinking about is how Anna seeing her sister and Michael being all lovey dovey could potentially set off a meltdown because Anna hasnt been taught about boundaries properly. I'm on the spectrum but have always been one to avoid touching and hate when people cross my boundaries to the point where I used to have meltdowns because I didnt know how to properly assert my boundaries. Considering Anna doesnt properly understand what boundaries are, OP expecting them at her wedding is bound to cause issues. Its best not to have Anna there for both of their sakes imo
Second Story: As someone with autism, I can confirm that Anna's behavior is not normal for someone with autism, but because their parents have spoiled her because she has autism. That's not normal, and the parents need to see that.
Fourth Story: Ivy League school? You should've attended University of Texas.
I am on the op side for story 2. The parents basically wants a free care taker. And Ana action are in need of being taken care of. It starts off with simple things. Then gets worse each time.
Story #4 - Gee, thanks, Mom. Really appreciated the support on this. 🙄
Story 2: I was ready to write off OP as the jerk until I i heard why she doesn't want her sister at the wedding. That's a serious beach of trust and personal space and I totally get why she doesn't want to risk it happening at the event.
for the last story, OP had the right to refuse given her sis money, and im 90% sure if she did gave her the money, the sis would have asked for more overtime
Why does a kid have 700 dollar she’s to begin with? That’s just insane. When I was a kid everything clothing I had didn’t come up to 700 bucks . Sounds like a trap to me. It has been done where someone wears a knock off. To purposefully get it messed in . Like wearing it in a crowded. Yes it might get dirty. I would suggest it try to be cleaned first. See if it’s a knock off . If not can’t be cleaned. Then mom, dad and that kid would’ve paid for it. This kid is 17 not really a kid but needs to know yes accidents happen but sometimes you gotta help pay.
Ops sister has other options but chooses to ask for money she isn't entitled to and since she wants to start name calling just cause she got told no she deserves to be blocked and never talked to again
I may not be low functioning, but from someone with autism, this is still not O.K. Like, she's not trying to be rude, she's just trying to have a good wedding without her sister trying to kiss him and touch him. She may have a mental disability, but it's still not O.K. When I have behavior issues linked to my own autism, I do NOT let people pass it off as acceptable just because I'm disabled.
They should NOT feel guilty for wanting to have a lovely wedding just because her sister does not understand the social skills needed to attend to a wedding. What is concerning is that the parents think the sister should attend is because she'll "never get married." So, do they expect her to imagen the O.P.'s future husband as her own?
Still, this is not O.K. or acceptable.
Story 2: she could end up damaging her body or hurting the twins. What is she going to do when she had two newborns. If she died tomorrow work would carry on without her! Her company will have to step up and take her workload.
If she is like this now she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant
Story 1: I hope you don't live in a state that recognizes grandparents rights because that could cause a big headache in court.
With those states that has grandparent laws, I suspect that there's a limit as to how far those rights extends. Which given the weather conditions explained, I don't that any grandparents rights would allow the grandparent(s) to arbitrarily demand access to the grandchildren, due to dangerous weather related travel. In such a case any reasonable judge would dismiss the case, on the grounds of placing those children at unnecessary risk.
@@vernonharden Your reasoning is sound, but this grandparent is unreasonable. Considering the lengths she went to hear a lawsuit in an effort to scare them into getting her way is not out of the question. I'm also sure there a lawyer out there that would happily take her money and file that suit. It shouldn't happen but there is a non-zero chance it will.
Story 2 like the narrator am 50/50 on this while I understand the ops view on things Anna may not understood what she’s doing at the end of the day is still your sister
And disabled. But I don't think the parents didnt do much for their disabled daughter. People with autism can still be taught, they aren't lost causes, like some believe. It's just a bigger challenge than someone without autism.
Ya they should try and get her help especially since op is afraid of what the sister would do if not helped if op had a kid
@@Larka661came to say somewhat the same. That yeah...... this feels like a grey area but my gut is telling me that the parents didn't do much for the disabled sister. That and yeah that from the little I know about autism. That it seems like the sister might be able to be taught and guided. I have two cousins who have sever mental handicaps and my aunt (their mother) had just passed this past weekend. Even with their mental handicaps. Their careers was able to at least guide/teach them (yeah it was tough from what I heard but still). Point being that I feel Anna can/could be taught.
Anna has a history of sexually assaulting Michael. Also, þe parents are Autism Parents. I wouldn't be surprised if þe sexual assault is, in part, because þey didn't even try to raise her in þe way she needed. OP is NÞA.
@@TheDarkLink7 this girl was 21. And as a parent, they should've worked with doctors at a young age. Honestly, I think they failed their disabled child, and now her disability is an excuse.
Just no! regarding that girl and her step brother, he has no right and this goes also for the step father, what makes them think they can walk all over her just because she's a girl? And even her own mother was verbally abusive to her too! I hope she gets away from that family ASAP and lives on her own independently for her own sanity, I can also relate smh 😡😡
Lol, the obsessive autistic sister is a Criminal Minds episode. If the autistic sister is forever grabbing and kissing her sister's man, she would definitely do that at the wedding. So definitely not invite her.
10 mon after it popped up. Woo
Im currently pregnant with our first baby and my mil already says its her child and we WILL do what she says other wise she will take our child. Im livid.
She can't do shit 💀 unless you and your husband/boyfriend or whatever the case maybe are unfit to care for your child she has no legal rights to the baby 🤣 she'll just be looking at some charges for basically kidnapping her/him
Make sure the school has it in writing not to allow her to pick them up. Just removing her does nothing
I liked the whole commentary, it is much more realistic and non-pandering. Its always better to be decisive in issues or in the advice one is giving rather than just dismissing issues to 'keep the peace'.
Story 2: Plenty of adults with cognitive disabilities and disorders are sexual beings, and yes unfortunately some do lack the ability to understand boundaries. However, there are so many disability services and specialists who have extensive knowledge and fantastic strategies on how to deal with situations just like this. No one's boundaries should be overstepped, nor should they be pressured by others to allow their boundaries to be walked all over just because the person walking all over it has a disability. Anna and her parents need to learn that OP and her husband are more than entitled to not want the consistent inappropriate behaviour from Anna. There is a chance that Anna could or does understand that she doesn't like to be touched against her will, and if that's the case then there may be effective ways to explain to her that OP's husband feels the same way, and doesn't want Anna touching him or trying to kiss him. She will no doubt react negatively to it at first because no one likes being told no, but if they keep working on it and actually implementing the strategies every time without fail, then there is a good chance she will eventually understand it. However, as far as OP not wanting to invite her sister to the wedding, she is more than entitled to do that. They don't have to invite anyone they don't want to, and the parents using Anna's disability as a way to emotionally blackmail OP and her husband is vile. These parents need some serious therapy and to understand that they have two children, both of whom deserve their love, respect, and kindness, and right now their other daughter would like them to show their support and love for her, which isn't a big ask.
Who wears $700 shoes to school? Especially ones that apparently cannot be cleaned. This happened on Dad's watch, so if anybody pays its him!
I was not prepared for that voice for the mother in law
Who the hell buys their kids $700 shoes to begin with??
Offering to get a sitter for your sister was the solution to the problem. OP your parents are awful. Your wedding day is special and your parents should be more cooperative. Sounds like the think you should care for her after their demise.
Story 2: the OP deserves to have her wedding day how she wants it I have experience with people with autism in most highly crowded area people with autistic don’t tend to do well and at the wedding is her sister didn’t get to sit with the fiancé she would 100% go off and ruin the wedding so her request is 1000% reasonable
Story 1: The grandma is crazy and potentially a danger to the kids. I think you took the right steps by ensuring she can't get to them via school.
Story 2: As someone with autism, I can understand Anna's behavior to a certain extent. But it's not like just because Anna is autistic, everyone else can force themselves to not be bothered by the things she does. OP has feelings too. She's uncomfortable with what her sister's doing to her fiance, and she just wants to not deal with that on their special day. That's completely reasonable. And it's not like she didn't give her parents any options, she even offered to pay for a caretaker who'd look after her on the wedding. I honestly cannot call her a jerk. She just wants to have her own wedding and her own life without them being dictated by her sister's condition.
Story 3: I think the husband did the right thing to protect his wife. She can't complain about him treating her like a child when she's unnecessarily working against the doctor's advice and ignoring the time limit she and her husband agreed on. That's exactly the kind of behavior I'd expect from a child.
Story 6: I don't think OPs actions make her a jerk, but her reasoning might. Refusing to help out your sister out of pettiness over your childhood (which the sister wasn't even responsible for) does not put you in a good light. Then again, OP was completely right in stating her sister could get a job or move in with their mother. As for the mother and other relatives calling OP a jerk, a bit hypocritical considering it sounds like they didn't help out either.
Story 4: OP is not a jerk. The college funds are meant for HER, not for anyone else. These kind of arguments happen a lot in families with step-siblings but imo they simply have to deal with the reality. The step-brother clearly lacks the intelligence and motivation to make good use of the college fonds and the stepfather is an asshole for his sexist comment.
Story 5: Imo this is a little scheme of the ex-husband to 'get back at' his ex-wife. Stating a parent should take responsibility and setting a good example, then not paying for the shoes themselves and sending the bill to his ex? I think the ex-husband 'generously' offered the other woman to pay so he could cost his ex-wife some money, it sounds like their divorce was not very clean. And to begin with, 700 dollar shoes? That's ridiculous. Don't pay for them.
Edit: Sorry the order got messed up I made a mistake while typing lol
ThErE aRe MiNe had me
Story 3: he is the jerk , she isn’t a child she is responsible for herself
What kind of example does paying 700 dollars for STEPPING ON SOMEONE BY ACCIDENT!!!!!!! is being taught?
it's school
playgrounds are not squeaky clean
playing where there's mud was his choice
letting the child wear the expensive shoes to school was his mom's responsibility!!!!!
IF I WERE HER I'D SUE HER FOR TRYING TO PULL ONE ON ME...
$700?! For SHOES?! If you pay that much for shows they better be able to block a bullet! I hate people who obsess over shoes.
Also NFT users deserve to lose all their money. No sympathy for those fools
Story one: I would call the cops. MIL would be arrested for tresspassing, attempted breaking and entering, threats and intimidation. Then, Im getting a restraining order first thing Monday at nine a.m. when the courts open.
Story on the shoes No one should pay for the shoes Let that idiotic entitled mom seek legal advice Any lawyer will tell her she has no case Shoes will get dirty when being worn And someone accidentally stepping on them is not going to ruin them
Second story: I also have autism [A doctor I saw recently said he wouldn't have been able to tell that I had it just by looking at me], and no, it's not normal for a girl to go around kissing HER SISTER'S partner. The parents are making excuses. OP will have better luck finding loving parents in her in-laws, because her sperm donor and egg donor have clearly picked Anna. This is how parents lose a relationship with their child, and then in the future, they'll have the audacity to ask "Why doesn't OP talk to us anymore?".
If she does try to get those kids she can and will be charged with kidnapping and believe me lawyer dumb enough to take her case
Story #3 If you give her money now, she will come back in a couple of months and ask again. When you refuse, she will whine and cry about "you gave me money before, why cant you give me now!!" The husband went the NFT route and lost all their money, hasn't he read stories of how much af a rip off they are! Not a jerk have them work their lives out themselves.
Story 2- Mother of an autistic adult and an aspergers adult ( if someone tells you autism isnt at least partly genetic I call bull droppings). Not a jerk, it is her and her grooms day, having another female, whether sister or not, disabled or not, fawning all over the groom, is not acceptable at a wedding.
Story -shoes, I would want to see the damage first and only pay for them to be repaired, if the damage could conceivably be caused by being stepped on with muddy shoes. I get a feeling this is likely to be a con. How does the OP know that the receipt is for those shoes, or even paid for by the other mother and no, if her kid wears $700 shoes to school then she should expect damage. Would she charge the school ifhe scuffed the shoes slipping on some steps or kicking a football.
*Story 1:* Assuming the story is true, why would mother-in-law feel like she's *"entitled"* to see her grandkids *all the time?* I would think that the mother would set boundaries to how often a parent or in-law would be allowed to see her grandchildren. Say if the weather was safe to make the trip. If a mother says No, it's not possible, the mother in law should accept it and wait until it's okay from the parents. It's their kid after all, they know what's right.
J bet this will be good
I don't think the last person is a jerk I think that the family members calling her jerks are since they probably could help her sister out too but are choosing not to
I think Story 2 perfectly highlights a conflict that always crops up on AITA - the conflict between the traditional concept of the wedding, as a celebration of the joining of two families and a chance for them to meet and mingle, and the more modern interpretation that it is a day girls fantasise about from childhood, where the bride has all her dreams come true and she is the star of the show. I’m not saying one is right and one is wrong, but this dichotomy is why there’s so many conflicts about no-kids weddings and destination weddings.
Good point. I'm firmly on the side of traditional weddings: family-mingling is key, kids are very welcome (but let's all make sure they're not gonna disrupt the ceremony), alcohol is fine but getting drunk is not.
And *of course* the bride and groom are the central characters, but everyone matters.
Maybe it's because my parents' generation still had echoes of the Depression and remembered WWII - existential threats.
Thanks for prompting me to think about all this.
For the last story I would have not even let my sister in with that background
Autism story. Nope, the OP has zero obligation to "deal with" her sisters behavior regarding her soon to be husband. She dealt with it for 18 years and has a proper opinion about how she wants to view her autistic sister. Regardless of her sisters POV. Her parents who have allowed their austistc child to do whatever they want with no repercussions, just because they're autistic. Which is 100% wrong.
There's all sorts of positive ways to accommodate and successfully upbring an autistic child. These parents have failed and they're taking it out on their other child.
Her parents can bitch and moan all they want about how OP is selfish and doesn't understand. But in reality OP has way more clarity than her parents ever will.
How can the parents think it's okay to also tell this man that he has to deal with tantrums and eradic behavior, all because he doesn't want to be touched. Can you imagine if this was flipped. Grown adults telling you that your female fiance has to deal with your little brother trying to touch her chest and slap her butt. Then when she's uncomfortable, she gets told to "just deal with it, don't be heartless, my little baby is autistic". Then when the little brother can't sexually harass your fiance, he throws a fit and tantrum? NO, NOT OKAY!
The parents have failed. They failed both their daughters and unfortunately, both are going to have lifelong effects because of it.
Story 4: just pay to get the shoes cleaned!! (Who the F even OWNS $700 shoes!!? If they cost THAT much, insure them!).
Story #2: As a person who also has Autism, ADHD, and Anxiety, she is way out of line trying to kiss a MARRIED man. I understand the hugging, as I am also I physically affectionate person, I would never kiss someone that is in a relationship or who is not interested
Story 2 - My best friends older brother is autistic and so I can see what the OP is talking about. It's not like OP was like "Ana can't come but you guys have to come" She understood that her parents wouldn't come without her and was respectful about it. TBH good on OP for setting boundaries.
Helping the sister out could have also turned her into a self entitled a hole who expects it every time she needs it
Last story: Are we ignoring the cat? As someone that has had cats live into their 20s, they tend to be frail then. Yes, the vet says he's healthy, and our Bear was, too, until he wasn't. Vet care is expensive and being unable to do everything they need to live is a horrible feeling and if she needed the money to save him from complications and it wasn't there would make there be bad blood between her and her sister anyway.
If someone tried to pull the "It's just an animal and her sister and niblings are humans," OP's BIL got them into that situation, it is not her responsibility to get them out, and this is a life that since the age of 13 she has been responsible for. nearly 2/3s her life,. He's a life that already survived 2 times of people trying to kill him. That's her priority, and being ready in case his surgery goes wrong, not picking up the mess her in law got her sister into.
#3 - Story, actually the father is the responsible since he had custody of the kids during the time of the damage. I would have asked for proof as well.
Story 5 - 700 shoes... so I was curious and it looks like there is a depreciation value for clothes per year of about 33%. I would take that into consideration if she is thinking about paying. Also curious if the fact he had the children when it happened would that make him solely responsible. Especially if he offered for the shoes to be paid. Seems like he was trying to stick it to his ex-wife with that one.
For story #5, I don’t see the original poster as a jerk and here is why: the shoes are only shoes. Who cares if they get ruined; it’s not like they are a person. Shoes are supposed to be worn/used and if you are going to buy expensive shoes, you should only wear them for special occasions. The fact that some people throw a fit when their shoes get ruined or stepped on just makes them seem immature.
As an autistic person (with a comfort person too) the sister is definitely the jerk.
So close to 1 million lets get this channel to that 1 million
Story 2 is very touchy, anna may not understand that Michael is her sister and get upset at the wedding. It's very touchy
Op is in the right. Her sister is not her responsablity.
I would get angry and defensive as well if my spouse just unplugs WiFi when iam in middle or a work thing
Story 2 - I'm Autistic. I'm on OP's side. Even with my high functioning autism, I still have problems. This is a safety concern
I want that game, it looks amazing
called : Exo one
Story 6: Sure they could of been brought closer and yes it wasn't really the sisters fault, but its true , the sister could've of moved in with her mother or gotten a job so im confused if she is the jerk or nor
The parents need to realise Michael is not an object, he is a human being. The parents need to stop relying on other’s for their daughter’s responsibility.
I do feel bad for op’s sister, how could parents say that about their daughter, just because someone has a disability doesn’t mean they will never get married. My neighbour has autism and she has been married for ten years.
Mud. Doesn't. Destroy. Shoes.
Wow how annoying
Story 2 - As someone who has an Autistic sister (she and I are still young), I dont think OP is a jerk. My sister isn't severe but still. I just have to say, not the jerk. The parents are probably the jerks in this story. And I think it would also be good for the OP's husband that Ana wasn't there since he'd probably want to spend time with OP rather then coddle Ana
If my sister who was spoiled asked for money as a first option than I probably wouldn't give any or give a few dollars. Not much. And why isn't their mother helping. She has a house so she probably has at least some spare money as well.