Signs - Nostalgia Critic
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- Опубліковано 11 вер 2016
- Back when people still liked M. Night Shyamalan, but God knows why.
Originally aired on June 12th, 2012.
Signs is a 2002 American science fiction horror film written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan and executive produced by Shyamalan, Frank Marshall, Kathleen Kennedy and Sam Mercer.
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It seems that Shyamalan have forgotten that our atmosphere is full of water vapor so that should’ve killed the aliens instantly
Not to mention morning dew, and clouds, and rain, and ice, and about a million other forms of water across the entire planet.
Maybe it had to be water vapor mixed with sunlight? Or maybe it had to be physical water mix with sunlight that hurts them.
Bleach and ammonia can hurt you over time if you breathe it in separately, but if you mix bleach and ammonia and breathe it in, it wil kill you.
The lack of recon conducted by the aliens is astounding. They really went full invasion real quick
Roanoke Gaming actually explained that, water vapor and liquid water are vastly different quantities from each other, And the aliens because of their camouflage and ability likely have a far thinner Phosphalyfid bi-layer than us, that is the membrane on our skin that keeps water out, and theirs is so thin that liquid water can easily get in the cells and over-saturate them causing them to explode. Water vapor is not enough to do it and they can breath our atmosphere, so obviously they can take it. They likey came from a desert planet were liquid water is not that common. And he theorized that the aliens were likey desperate for a new home so they took a risk and failed.
@@user-cv8qe9ru8cnot really the aliens were staying to the shadows until they were ready to attack, the alien revealed itself on TV as a scare tactic to intimidate the masses of Earth. And if you remember we were struggling against them until their weakness was discovered, thousands had died from them, the aliens weren't completly stupid.
The talking aliens gag is easily one of the best they've ever come up with ;p
they're not aliens
they're black suit Spider-Mans
+Jay Play just in case. STOP THE BEFORE THEY DO A TAP DANCE ROUTINE !
duuude i was about to make the same comment. its so funny. the way its written performed and edited is just perfect. im at the train right now and laughrd so hard peoole looked at me xD
I would love to watch a version of this movie with his subtitles and voice over for the aliens.
I lost it at that point
“Probably should’ve thought that through before attacking a planet MOSTLY COVERED IN WATER!” Is one of my favorite Nostalgia Critic lines.
He sounds like a cartoon.
Did you ever learn something the hard way? They didn't know water would hurt them. Or Maybe it had to be physical water mix with sunlight that hurts them.
Bleach and ammonia can hurt you over time if you breathe it in separately, but if you mix bleach and ammonia and breathe it in, it wil kill you.
@@ridwancoding5646cause he's a living one
They were demons, not aliens. Holy water killed them.
@@jacksono6565this movie feels like a cartoon
Hearing Joaquin Phoenix say "act crazy" is kind of funny now.
I think he might be the best joker ever
Also kinda funny that Gibson was the studio's first choice to play Batman in the 89 film.
Actually I thought it was funny then and now
Lmao 🤣
Man, that's him? He sure aged a lot. In Joker he looks like, 60...
after all these years I still laugh at those alien subtitles
New(er) to being a fan, but I remember those subtitles from before I knew where they were from.
same
WOOD!
Same here
+HitchensImmortal haha
I can now say my favorite moment of Nostalgia Critic is when he spent two whole minutes on the fact that aliens can't get past pantry doors
The Name's Christian
It had two heavy wooden tables propped up against it, it would take you about a day to figure out how to get out of a door that has been blocked when you are an alien and don’t know its blocked or how to operate a door in the first place.
& they cant blast it with a alien weapon of somekind?
i mean these are aliens who are millions light years ahead of us in technology but they dont have the fire power to break down a wooden door
Mettra Tonic
Maybe they have no need for such weapons? Also the alien in the pantry was unarmed.
yeah no what sense does that make unless there like a xenomorph which they dont seem to be
these aliens brought there advanced alien space ships years above our technology but your telling me they didnt bring any weapons thats even more stupid than than the thing about the wooden doors
it literally says in the movie why they dont use their weapons. i wonder if someone above a third grade education analyzed this. *cough cough* get stuckmannized *cough cough*
The aliens yelling “WOOD!” At the same time every time they come up on a door fucking kills me every time.
Hahaha dude it’s so funny it gets me too
You know crops need to be watered. Crops are usually fairly moist even if there is not enough water to kill them it should have hurt them like crazy.
Plus, the wet ground. It would be like having a sunburn on the bottom of your feet at the very least.
Why didn't they wear raincoats?
You're right. I'd never even thought of that. There'd be dew on those crops, on grass, on metal.
At first I thought you said Cops need water 😂
@@bocowan9106 Well they do, they're only human
The aliens would not last long in the UK
why
Because it rains alot
*rains constantly
Or Oregon/Washington.
Or Indiana, that place has so much rain.
Well England's safe it's 70% trees and it's always raining
agreed
A cricket bat would count too for defeat aliens? Because here we got thousands :v
So is Florida.
English master race scrubs!
Texas is safe too, but then again seeing as how the aliens don't seem to use any weapons we'd probably just use them for target practice before we decided to rely on wood and water.
“YOU JUST MADE CHARLIE SHEEN RIGHT ABOUT SOMETHING!!” I died inside when I heard that
lol 😆
I'm not updated with movie stars. Someone can explain me what charlie sheen did that people speak low of him now?
@@Blade57331 he did many drugs, while also speaking like he's better than everyone
So did scarry movie 3
The Aliens as demons would have been a better twist. Explains why they don't have technology and go around naked. Also explains the importance of Gibson finding his faith, sort of blessing the water into holy water or something.
No technology...except the numerous glowing spaceships they travel in?
@@the_once-and-future_king. We never saw the ships directly or knew where they came from, so they might have as well have been demonic chariots or something.
@@the_once-and-future_king. Eh... with enough tweaking that could be seen as something supernatural that came off as spaceships to humans...
I like to imagine these aliens are idiots who stole some space ships and try to take over earth.
That would explain the lack of clothes....don't drink and warp, kids.
just a couple of silly kids out for a joyride across the galaxy
To be fair, we have geniuses design and build drones and missile guidance systems and then some guy with some training and who is good at video games operates them while eat hot pockets and Mt. Dew.
So kinda like Invader Zim then? That just makes so much sense.
Moronic aliens invading a planet that is 3/4 of water which is like acid to them
Can't get through pantry doors
Yeah, even the true greys are like "Dude you shitheads are stupid!"
Anyone else thinking
SHUT THAT DOOR
🚪
Is that a rapsittie street kids reference?
I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING LMAO
I was too busy thinking about those aliens scarying the little girl...
...SCARYING THE LITTLE GIRL????
Waiiiit so it was all about aliens!?
... huh, actually, this explains A LOT!
it's been years and the whole "MOSTLY COVERED IN WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" bit still cracks me up
I didn’t realize the reason he called the doctor instead of the vet was because the vet is the man who was in the car crash that killed his wife
Lol
Mel gibson looking through phone: ..... no.... no.... not him, that's the asshole that killed my wife.... hmm..... I guess I should call this dude..... ok I'll call him....
WHAT?! 😂😂😂
My mother was so inspired when this movie came out.
Oh, dont get me wrong, she hated this movie, but she used the aluminium hat idea so she could be a giant Hershey's kiss for Halloween (true story by the way)
riakun
Watch a analogy on this movie and it will all make brilliant sense.
Adorable.
@@maticstudios i doubt it
@Dagoberto Henriquez Benitez actually, no, she really did that xD she even did a similar thing to the top of her head like what they did in this movie (to recreate the top of the Hershey kiss costume). It inspired her whole costume
That's like how in the movie Amadeus, Mozart was inspired to write the Queen of the Night aria after hearing his mother-in-law scream hysterically.
Movie becomes 10/10 with aliens talking (starring NC)
Doug and Rob Walker, as...
The aliens who couldn't fight wood. Coming this fall to Fox.
And of course, cancelled six episodes into the first season.
I want a movie with serious talking humans and incompetent subtitled aliens like this XD
I wonder if those aliens can or not fight Woody Woodpecker, Woody from Toy Story, the entire Hollywood or their own, personal _morning wood_. Man, this movie rise more questions than any one expected.
WOOD!
Fox President: I like your style, kid! I just have one doubt: can we parody it in our excessively-long Simpsons show?
I know this video is old but the reason he didn’t call a vet for the dog is because the town veterinarian is M. Night’s character. Since he killed his wife he didn’t want to call him to come check on his dog preferring to call a doctor instead because of the resentment he has towards him. You’re welcome.
*You're welcome.
You're welcome.
@@PaleHorseShabuShabu thanks😉
Wow they failed to mention that. Just wow.
"...maybe Gibson and Phoenix are just God damn nuts..."
Turns out that was the canon ending
that's why Phoenix became The Joker
Clever!
Huh. Lol 😂
@🔥Darth Dämon🎃 *"SO JUST SMILE AND BLOOOWW MEEEEE!!"*
@@neo-didact9285 lol, what's the context to that?
"There's a monster outside my room. Can I have a glass of water?"
... what
She has prophetic dreams and subconsciously is drawn to water because her purpose is to turn it into holy water so it will protect them from the demons.
Ryan the entire story of the movie is mel gibsons struggle to regain his faith. It literally has nothing to do with the aliens if you look past the surface. Have you ever analyzed a movie or read a book?
Alex Smartass edgelord!
She was scarier than the aliens
She doesn't scream at a Violent Dog trying to kill her or A mysterious black figure outside her room but she screams at Corn? Lol
why would everything writed on science books change if alien visited? "the aliens are here water is no longer oxygen and hydrogen is made of ass now also gravity is 2dicks/sec"
idk why it was writed in science books.
Asked myself the same thing. You need to wright a lot of NEW books, and you will maybe need to correct some parts of the old ones, but most of sciences would be unimpressed by aliens o.O
Okay people, quick English lesson! It's not "wright", it's w r i t e! DOUBLE-U, AR, AYE, TEE, EH!
And it's not "writed on" it's w r i t t e n i n! DOUBLE-U, AR, AYE, AYE, TEE, TEE, EH, EN, SPACE, AYE, EN!
thank you that sentence was giving me a headache
I feel retarded
Can we all talk about the sheer genius of nostalgia critic timing this 16:37 to have an ad play right when he changes the channel??? Even better, the ad that played for me was M. Night Shyamalan’s new movie “Old” 😂😂
I actually didn’t think this movie was that bad. This and 6th Sense were his only semi decent movies
um. unrelated
I’m a professional engineer with 5 PHDs and years of experience.
But I never understood how a button works.
You shoot it? Am I close?
Lol 😂 finally I’m not the only one!!!
Damn 5 PHD's?
The alien dialog you did was fucking hilarious
Bah Weep Grahna Weep Nini Bong?
HASEnoncorperated Wa buwah gaba neep.
Tj Chapman
Q'Plah!
HASEnoncorperated Q'PLaaaahhh!! (woooooood!)
Tj Chapman
for your incorrect translation you will experience Bej!
Honestly, the real scariest part of the movie is when the dog barks. The sound quality is so clear and you think he's just gonna growl that it legit comes out of nowhere and scared the heck out of people. Shamylan could probably make a good movie out of just that barking dog.
Infer and Hey maybe he can make a reboot of Cujo.
'The Barkening'
For fuck's sake, not so loud, he may HEAR YOU!!!
Infer and it scared me even in this review
It's a jumpscare at best.
I saw this in theatres when it first came out as a really little kid and I can confirm that bark was the scariest part.
to quote charlie sheen "they mastered space travel but they can't get through a wooden door"
Actually, it's "They mastered space flight, but they can't get through a wooden door."
And what tells us they came to earth by ship? For all we know, they could've never evolved past the stone age and those lights we see in the sky earlier in the movie were some kind of space portals which they crossed by accident. The fact the aliens voluntarily came to attack earth is pure headcanon and in no way does it count as valid criticism
"It still doesn't do wood" -The Doctor, sorry, I had to say it
@@theweysermanisback5205 "You see what you did movie?! You see what you did?!? You just made Charlie Sheen right about something!!!"
"That is how bad you've gotten!"
I'm a super intelligent solar system traveling organism. I'm not only going to go walk unprotected among creatures who's literal sweat can kill me but also run around in a tropical rain-forest to scare some kids while breathing in highly destructive acid vapor.
Humans go into space even though nothing should be able to survive going to space and back
Humans wear protective suits in space.
@@WiloPolis03 OMG, you are not that stupid that you don't know that humans can't go into space (or to the bottom of the ocean) w/o high tech equipment protecting them? Humans can't just walk or swim or float around in street clothes in such environments!!
@@DonnaBrooks Yes, obviously I know that, just saying that the aliens could've been in the process of creating technology to withstand water that hadn't fully been developed yet.
Mostly, though, that type of plothole doesn't irritate me, because Signs isn't about having super realistic and science-y plotlines. It's about telling the story of a massive apocalyptic disaster from the point of view of just a small family. It's small scale, it's not about big plotlines and crazy advanced tech and stuff. So plotholes like that just don't really affect the experience for me.
Wilo Polis And yet the movie is about faith and nobody said that all water hurts the aliens.
Farm life can be scary as Hell, man. I mean, we have wood out here....WOOD!
-Gasp- WOO- I mean what? I'm not a Black Suit Spider-Man Alien
so you can make a pantry door
+Someone OnTheInternet
NOT A PANTRY DO- I mean I swear I'm human
Corporal Xander I've also got water, too. 😎
Someone OnTheInternet Pantry doors just fall out my butt. xD
"Oh my God it's Black Suit Spiderman, stop him before he does another tap dance routine!"
Lmao
Lord of the Jötnar. XD
Or.... We could have the Joker dance and have a comic book dance off!!
Robert Moore I’d pay GOOD money for an Emo Spidey vs. Joker dance-off.
The alien looks like a guy in a morph suit.
Dude give me a Broadway kickline!!!😂😂😂
The alien dialogue was absolute gold.
DUNKO!
Hey, Doug. Remember the part where Joaquin hit the alien with the bat? I bet it worked because it was made of wood.
“WOOD!”
@@KBGVideos1 Exactly.
"Hmm, probably should've thought that through before attacking a planet *Cuts to an image of Earth* MOSTLY COVERED IN WATER!"
XD
23:43
117neoshadow
Watch an analysis on the movie. You are also an idiot for not realizing if you went to another planet as a hit and run mission you probably wouldn’t know what any of the substances on it were...
MUHROMATIC
no need to be an ass-hat. He’s just quoting the critic
in other news, we are going to send astronauts to a planet of sulphuric acid....NAKED
MUHROMATIC when in this movie did it state the aliens were on a “hit and run” mission? The movie never states their intentions as such. I’m getting the idea you watched an analysis video in which somebody put forward their theories (probably trying to explain the massive plot holes away because they enjoy Signs) & are now stating them as fact. Again, the movie never says this, & never gives you any reason not to question aliens choosing to invade a planet that’s almost 80% lethal to them. You can’t make that make sense unless you come up with some bullshit theory.
It's been almost 5 years and still this is one of my favorite reviews. This is my go-to "my depression is trying to get the better of me" reviews and never has failed to bring laughter even in the darkest times. Thank you, Doug.
John Wheeldon Depression isn’t real. It’s just your life sucks, and you can’t handle that emotionally.
@@KaneK1234 go be a troll somewhere else
The aliens talking while they walk around the house always gets me. "DUKHU!"
That’s what I’m doing tonight; one of my favorite reviews and I’m watching it to cheer up/calm down. Hope you’re doing well.
After many years this is still a go-to
Shyamalan directs as if he were on the first year of film school, trying to impress the teachers.
One subtle thing I liked about it was realizing that he didn’t want to go to the vet because the vet was the one in the car. So he’s rather take the dog to a doctor than see the man who killed his wife.
Exactly! It'd surprising on how many people don't pick up on this subtle hint throughout the film.
"Hmm. Probably should have thouhg that through before attacking a planet *MOSTLY COVERED IN WATER!!!*"
I love the delivery of that line so much! XD
That straight up killed me.
Thought*
Here is a valid point though. They are an alien race that we are given minimal information about. For all we know, water is a foreign substance to them. Think about humans finding a planet and finding substances that are lethal to us. Entirely plausible, so who is to say that it isn’t the same for aliens. We don’t know what Alien’s planets are like.
@@king_supreme1102 Fair point, but we humans would've been able to send probes to such a planet to analyze the planet, gather some samples, and create solid data on the planet itself before landing; liek we did with the Moon. These Aliens are far more advanced than we are, and apparently lack the common sense with Interplanetary travel. And there were others on Earth before a proper invasion, so some data would've been sent back. THESE ALIENS ARE DUMBER THAN DODOS!
Starman Gaming if you listen to the story the aliens weren’t there to invade and settle down they came to take people as a food source they were probably a starving race on the brink of extinction once they found a food source they jumped at the opportunity sent scouts determined the major populations and sent in the invasion. They weren’t being cautious they were scared and risked everything they had just to find food.
If a glass of water burns their skin off that fast, then the water in the air would have killed them or driven them off before anyone even knew they were there.
Thomas Hall it wasn't acid, it was regular water
He never said it was acid, he was saying the water in the air would've killed or scared off the aliens.
*_Maugre, no the water in the air would NOT have killed them. You don't understand how the water in the air works!_*
Maugre
Is it a coincidence your avatar is a fish? Fishspiracy
*_99legion, I was in the movie SIGNS as the Army recruiter. I was at the table read of the script. A full cast reading and discussion with the director. This issue came up and he said the water in the air would NOT hurt the aliens. He was a very prepared director and had thought of EVERYTHING including water in air. Who understands it now?_*
I wonder how Spielberg felt about M Night being called “The New Spielberg”?
I was thinking the same thing when I first saw that cover that the cashier table at a Barnes N Noble
I mean, spiellberg himself had a big downfall
Lol
I wonder if it was meant to compliment Shamulan...or if it was meant to insult Spielberg.
@@redband3071 That's an interesting spelling of Shyamalan😉
For real though, makes more sense than the actual spelling
I like how your version of the alien language has them sounding like a mix of Klingon and Japanese.
“WOOD!”
The "pantry door" freak-out was more epic than the Bat-credit card freak-out.
Impossible😂😂😂
No matter what, I jump and then later laugh every single time I watch that. Followed by laughing over him "fainting"
I agree. 😁
"There's a monster outside my room, can I get a glass of water". 🤔 how did the critic let that line go unscathed? The girl screamed because of a crop circle, but casually got thirsty when she saw A FUCKING MONSTER OUTSIDE HER ROOM?
"Daddy there's a demon under my sheets, can you tuck me in?"
That is actually quite true. I don’t know why he didn’t notice that either
"daddy, there's a monster in my closet. Can you bake me some cookies?
I'm thinking he let that line speak for itself.
maybe the girl know something abouth the aliens?
Those aliens must be the alien equivalent of the Alien franchise's humans, just going to an unknown planet without any protecting gear and just touching everything because they suck at what they do
... you think *bacteria killing aliens* is kinda stupid!?
Shamaylan: *HOLD MY GLAS OF WATER!*
Except no one would think that bacteria killing aliens is stupid....unless they were stupid themselves and didn't know anything about the history of pathogens.
Yes, but the bacteria thing at least makes sense!
The bacteria at least has scientific evidence behind it, as seen when the Spaniards invaded the Americas and killed off the natives with smallpox and shit.
@@DonnaBrooks No, it is stupid. Are we to assume aliens, this advanced species, didn't think of spacesuits and hazmat suits?
@@Rorschach003 If they had no deadly microbes on their planet, why would it be something that would ever enter their mind?Humans explore places all the time w/o being fully prepared b/c you don't know what to prepare for until you encounter it. Did the astronauts take weapons to the moon? What if they encountered some hostile life form that attacked them? How would they defend themselves?
don't underestimate a wooden door. even a timelord can't get through it
Even time lords defeated that weakness (Shout-out to heaven's sent).
Don't diss the sonic!
Louredil the alien escapes tho
The only aliens that can be defeated by water guns
Imagine a kid killing an alien with a dollar store water gun? You know those super small water pistols that just sprinkles a bit of water out. How embarrassing for the aliens.
Or just wait for it to rain, think of that Invader Zim episode.
JBrown 30 they’re irkens lol 😂
Damon Dodson I was thinking the same thing🤣
All those hours of Senran Kagura Peach Beach Splash are about to pay off
"Probably should of thought about before you attack a planet MOSTLY COVERED IN WATER!!!!!"
👏👏👏
Did you ever learn something the hard way? How are you suppose to learn something if it wasn't taught to you first? They had no idea that their weakness was water. Why do you think they left in a hurry? They wanted to harvest human beings, so they got as many as they could and left. Or maybe it had to be physical water mix with sunlight that hurts them.
Bleach and ammonia can hurt you over time if you breathe it in separately, but if you mix bleach and ammonia and breathe it in, it wil kill you
The noise of the Aliens shouting ‘Wood!’ Has been in my head for days! I couldn’t remember where it was from, I feel so relieved to have found it :) love the subtitles
The bat was made of .... WOOD!!!
You don't know the power of wood. I beat aliens with my wood every week! ....
"Du-gah!"
So a double threat
"Excuse me, I've got some aliens at my door..."
"WOOD!"
I die laughing.
23:47 I cannot stop laughing at that part
MOSTLY COVERED IN WATER!
This is the equivalent we are attacking a planet that is mostly made of lava and it rains lava like what the fuck?
The real twist was that this movie took place in the Battlefield Earth Universe.
"By the way, your puny planet has alreary been invaded before us. Some idiots from a nearby system tried to do it naked and unarmed."
Seriously?
Lol
That would explain how the phsyclos took over, these were the morons that doomed us all
Whoa, I didn't know Scary Movie 3 could do a better alien film than Shyamalan. THAT is a damn good twist!
That's movie is comedy gold.
they had finger dicks.. or dick fingers... depends on ya preference.
I agree, the parody version is better is than this film that inspired it, and when Scary Movie 3 points out your plot holes, you know you got burned. Scary Movie 3 even makes more sense, in spite of it being a spoof where nothing has to make sense.
@@scottvasquez1401 hey, Signs was actually good. It was better than any of his other shit movies
@@nsasupporter7557 Prob not saying much
imagine we getting advanced tech to go to space extremely easily
so we start invading planets
then we decide
you know what? lets invade that one planet that is mostly made up of acid
thats basically the aliens thoughts
Venus?
It's also full of wooden doors. If only NASA had launched a giant door to orbit the Earth, this whole movie could be skipped.
I feel like they must be playing an IRL game of Beyond Earth, challenge mode.
DanTheMan And none of them thought about investigating the mysterious substance that covered 70% of the planet? i don't hate the movie but that is just idiotic.
Xx
Everyone loves the talking aliens bit, but I personally think the part with the water is hysterical!
"Dog anatomy is pretty close to human anatomy, right?"
Actually, it IS.
SOURCE: I have been a nurse in both human medicine and veterinary science. Can confirm. Not identical, no, but if you imagine a human being on all fours there are many, many anatomical similarities, same organs, many of the same bodily functions, systems etc. Animals also display illnesses in similar ways, however diagnosis is obviously more difficult without the patient being able to communicate their symptoms as easily.
Mindy G And yet humans don't have fur or tails and I don't need to eat my vomit and count it as a meal. Or sniff another human's ass as a way of saying hello.
@@monsterhanna6691 I'll give you the fur and tail but everything else you said is behavior not anatomy.
It would be malpractice if he attempted to treat the dog with anything other than oxygen. Unless he had a vets license also.
Those alien subtitles never gets old.
TUKO!
WOOD!!!
Alien 1: You know, I really hate the way that water burns my flesh.
Alien 2: I just had a great idea!
Alien 1: What?
Alien 2: Let's invade that planet with water oceans, water vapor in the atmosphere, and water droplets which fall from the sky.
Alien 2: In fact, let's go right now! Don't even bother packing clothes or weapons or anything.
Alien 1: I see no issues with this plan. I hope they have short-tempered simians with advanced weapons and wooden doors!
Hologrampizza so the aliens know what water are before coming to earth is what you're insinuating
No, he was making a joke, that’s what he was insinuating
Even then, the movie is implying that the aliens were watching the earth before attacking. You would think, they would see, that there is a lot of wood and water on it. And you would think, that one of them would have get in contact with the water (for example when it rains), so to say, they couldn't know about it is just stupid.
You know all Earth-like planets with alien life have liquid H2O to support life! So in real life, aliens’ weaknesses are not water because water was a perfect resource.
It would give them advantage if they did it.
11:38 - 12:01: I swear Mel Gibson is going to sing 'Let It Go' at this point....
Must be one of those millennial aliens so used to their automatic door opening tech
That is an underrated comment
I think you mean Gen Z.
Okay ÿįoomer.
Automatic doors were invented a long time before the first millennial was born, dude.
tim the skeptic heard of jokes? The only reason you’d feel the need to state the obvious is if you feel offended.
The 12 year old Morpheus cracked me up
I was dying at that part lol
Want to know what would have made the movie far better? Nic Cage as the Aliens !
he would be too cray cray even for the aliens
Invasion of the Trumps. They will invade you, and you will pay for it!
Cage-alien moonwalk-waltzes through the wooden door. Hands in the air. Dramatically turns around while the heavenly choir proclaims...
HAAAALLELUJA!!!!!
+dean wessel okay? sure.
Every movie is better with nic cage...
Mel Gibson making Curly noises at 14:45 is an underrated joke.
This movie at least gave birth to Scary Movie 3
Kermit used to be a friend until I invited him over for breakfast...
I had bacon...
You monster XD
@@nebula6472 Lol
What
Why did I write this?
Dont worry so did he later that night
There's also water vapor in the air
And what would they do if it rains?
Aaaaaand what would happen if it was damp or foggy. Bruuuhh
Mist must be horrifying to them. =Y
It'd be like if humans tried to colonize Venus.
The Godless Beast
The aliens are actually demons, this is literally a movie about faith. The aliens were not that intelligent anyway-
23:47 hilarious when you made that reaction of “mostly covered in water” that makes me laugh so much
18:17 rage dance
You can make a beat out of this also is weird to see a moment when the critic wasnt bald
Stuckman made a great observation. Shyamalan's character is the vet. It says it on his mailbox. That's why Gibson's character tells the kid to call the doctor instead. It's a great moment where they don't shove it down your throat.
So it's a confusing moment unless you catch that irrelevant detail that adds nothing to the plot.
I bet most people didn't notice that he said "Doctor" and not "Vet". Either way, it adds a ton to the characters. This is not a great movie by any means, but it does have a ton of foreshadowing and hints placed throughout. Most movies these days have to spell things out for the audience. If it was spelled out, I doubt it would have made the movie any better. It's just a nice, subtile choice on the director's part.
Wheatley I bet they DID because the scene literally tells you that the person he just named is not a vet. This isn't even foreshadowing because it's not plot relevant. What if his character wasn't the vet but the butcher? It wouldn't change a fucking thing in the story, since the dog dies in a little bit anyway. It's pointless. Foreshadowing is supposed to relate to a major plot point or theme, not just hint at random details because "I'm directing!"
Did you watch the movie? The vet is the one who killed his wife. Do you want a movie without characters?
Wheatley Yes, I know who the vet is. You didn't actually answer my question though; what does him being a vet have anything to do with the fact that he killed the wife? Nothing. It's irrelevant. The only reason he is the vet is so that bit with the dog can be set up, and the only value of that bit with the dog is to reference that he's the vet. It's pointlessness tricking people into thinking it's clever. If it was removed, it would change NOTHING in the plot, the theme, the characters, etc. He's hardly even a character, he's just a foreshadowing device; "Hey, it seems like the events unfolding before us are pre-ordained! Also, the aliens don't like water, hint hint. Bye!" He could have been removed entirely, with his two whole sentences of barely-connected relevance said by a number of other characters.
Reminds me of in "Scary Movie 3" where he's like
"Wait- you're telling me they've mastered Intergalactic Space Travel and they can't get past a *wooden door??"*
yeah Scary Movie was better and that says something.
18:34
Please watch the entire video before commenting.
Kneel and prostrate yourselves before the owerwhelming might of the wooden pantry door infidels, for it reings supreme over all.
Harvey Milk Or ... THERE WAS NO DOOR.
flashback flashback flashback.... : "sometimes, people only see what the want to see..."
[gasp] IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!
well if you think about it maybe they don't have wood or water we saw that life can exist in acid and use some crazy way to live by who knows look for example us humans like chocolate but give it to a dog in high dozes and the dog dies its liver fails my dog eat two snikers and died its how the main specie evolvs and gets stronger and the weaker ones die but to have logic and go to a chemical hazard planet like it would be for us venus titan (the moon of saturn where it rains methan gass )or on venus where it rains and it exists lakes and lakes of sulphuric acid or uranus where its atmosfear is loaded of mercury a toxic metal liquid , anyway off topic here what i meant is if they would check the planet first with some robots yeah they would have beatan us but go blind in the dark and be cannon meat yeah that preaty idiotic to a superadvanced race of aliens to me anyway
Oh yeah, I forgot the Joker was in this.
Stop. Just... please stop.
@@vingasoline5068 Everything is capeshit to these people
Lmao 🤣
@@LumpyAdams I think it makes it funny
Well good to see humor isn't a thing anymore. At least one person finds it funny.
When he said" oh my God it's black suit Spider-Man somebody stop him before he does a tap-dancing routine!" I laughed
So, I just sorta realized another plothole. If water is acidic to the aliens how can they wade through a cornfield without a scratch on them? Sure water isnt always ALL OVER plants, but wading through a cornfield you're gonna get wet once or twice..
Logan Drees phrasing
Hahaha he`s phrasing
@ledzeppelin711 I assume they misspelt phasing.
@ledzeppelin711 guessing you never watched archer
Shhhh... You're making Shyamalan look stupider. Our atmosphere is also laced with water...
I jumped a little when the dog barked angrily I'm so a shames
I got a text at the exact same moment, so the buzzing went off just as the dog barked. Scared the living shit out of me
I did too.
Shame buds?
Let's make the alliance of the shamed
Me too
Even though I knew to expect it, I still jumped.
23:17
In the aliens defense, that bat is made out of wood. Which is 2 of their biggest weaknesses.
Wood and blunt instruments. It’s super effective!
One of the all time great NC reviews. The pantry door bit, the aliens speaking too each other, the MOSTLY COVERED IN WATER!!! Just great stuff
“There’s a monster outside my room. Can I have a glass of water?” What is it, the Wicked Witch of the West from Mars?
Oh
Wonder why the aliens didn't burn up when our air has water vapour
Kodah Smith ya come to Nebraska in summer 98% humidity level
I think that it needs to be liquid water...
That still is floating around in the air...
You missed a prime opportunity to throw in Mork during the alien channel skip montage
another weakness of these aliens. Blades like from kitchen knives. you can't cut through human fingers this easily because there are bones in the way.
17:24 I started laughing because when velociraptors can open doors but things that are even smarter than us cannot
Bahahaha
that's because they aren't aliens that are smarter than us, they are the characters' own demons from the underworld.
Dude the doors are boarded shut and locked tight as fuck. They can obviously open doors since they are trying to open the basement door jeez...
Then why can't they get through a pantry door?
You assume they are smarter. I think it's like us.....we have geniuses build guidance systems, and then a kid who can play a video game operates it.
My girlfriend and I watched this movie the other night. All of a sudden, she starts laughing her ass off. When I asked her why. She said, "Oh my God, the aliens are Irkins from Invader Zim! Water burns them too!" And proceeded to laugh until she fell off the couch. Thinking about it; she's right. The aliens weren't too bright, just like the Irkin Invaders. They get harmed by water; just like the Irkin Invaders. And they couldn't figure out simple human technology like turning a door knob. Like the Irkin Invaders - I wonder if the aliens' leaders were the Tallest? lmao.
That's it! The premise for Invader ZIM's silver screen outing! We've got to pitch this to Jhonen Vasquez right away: "ZIM Vs. The Wooden Empire"! Brought to you by...Lumber Liquidators! Product placement locked!
To be fair, most Invaders actually are pretty good at their job. It's just ZIM who's a useless nutcase... which is why he was sent to Earth in the first place. O.o
This movie is probably where Jhonen Vasquez ( or another of the writers of the show ) got the inspiration for the irkens' intolerance to water and the episode that illustrated it, " The Wettening "
They're also green, like the Irkin invaders.
Zim: "GRR! WHERE ARE THE SHOOTY DOOM THINGS TO OBLITERATE THIS MISERABLE DIRT BALL?!"
Grr: "Oh, I left those at home!"
Zim: "Left what at home?"
Grr: "The shooty, gunny things!"
Zim: "Why?!"
Grr: "To make room for the nachos!"
Zim: "Rrrr....Fine! I'll just conquer these primitive poop-monkeys myself!"
(Gets hit with a baseball bat)
Cel Stacker hey arnold got a movie just last night so maybe invader zim will get one
20:28 I love the critics joke of the aliens talking over all this, but after watching this a few times my brain actually processed how...meaningless what the real actors are saying actually is.
I legitimately cannot understand why that much emphasis was put on a dad randomly taking his elder child aside in a crisis to tell him that the first words he heard were "hi Morgan I'm your mother". It's clearly meant to be a powerful moment of comfort, but the actual content of the special moment was pure NOTHINGNESS! Not to mention that then means he's ignoring the younger kid while aliens break into the house and they're standing around panicking instead of looking for a place to be safe?!
I love the way the aliens say "WOOD!" In their language.
those alien subtitles are pure genius. Almost choked to death on my coffee because I laughed so hard.
"NO SHIT, COMMODUS!"
Well I am officially dead, thank you
23:47 - 23:50: to alien: how would you like your aquatic demise, fresh or salty ? 😂😂😂
23:47 MOSTLY COVERED IN WATER!!! XD
*they seem they have a trouble with p a n t r y d o o r s*
Joey Bu
You sir, are an idiot with no logic, unless it’s a joke....
M. Night Shamaylan: "These advanced aliens can't open a pantry door."
Nostalgia Critic: *REEEEEEEEEEEE*
MUHROMATIC The fuck are you talking about?
Still one of the most fun old reviews.
And really...he is right, the twist is pretty dumb. I mean what moron goes to invade a planet without weapons and when that planet is basically covered in poison! That's just dumb.
It also means god is a HUGE dick in this movie. He killed the wife to convey his message, when all he needed to do was to tip a water glas or send a short rain fall.
How could they not know about water? Or do you mean that maybe they didn't know water was basically acidic for them? More probable, but also - you know enough about chemistry and physics to develop star-faring technology, but don't know about water molecules and their effects on your body? Come on, that would be the first thing researched when they found a planet with its surface consisting mostly of water.
Why the fuck is the water thing a twist? It's not like they came out of the water or something. It's just a convenient way to kill them!
They could have a different periodic table than us.
Fox Valencia They literally couldn't, unless they decide to organize the table in a manner that different than number of electrons/protons and atomic weight. Which is unlikely at best. And, regardless, even if they organized it differently, the elements themselves would still be the exact same elements.
Thanks for helping my depression critic, I come back to these old reviews and it never ceases to cheer me up.
The alien conversation had me wheezing 🤣
11:14 Jesus even Shamalan doesn't look like he want's to be in a Shamalan movie!
His role demands a performance like that.
This movie is awesome guys! Show some respect! Also Critic is sometimes funny, but mostly extremely biased and negative.
Dino-MYT G A M I N G show some...respect? To the man who created The Happening & Lady in the Water? Oh god, you’re hilarious. Am I not allowed to call Alien Covenant a shitty movie because it’s director previously made Alien, a bonafide classic? Nope, all movies are free reign when it comes to criticism. No respect is owed, & humor can be made at any director’s expense. Nobody’s unaware that the critic has a bias, we just mostly happen to agree with him on this one. You’re more than welcome to disagree, but don’t tell people they’re being disrespectful, as if Shyamalan is a holy figure or some shit 😂
@@christopherlowery3797 don't forget what he did to the last airbender :(
It's "...he wants," not "he want's". "He want's" doesn't even make sense.
Why were there so many random glasses of water everywhere?
nm
The daughter drank water often but only took a sip from a glass before leaving it somewhere and then asking for a new glass. It's a really stupid plot point.
It's a hint
And instead of dumping the water and rinsing those glasses, they just leave them around the house completely fill up.
+Charmiskit Filmmaking 101 right there
So true story, I was at a riff party where we were riffing on this movie. The scene where Gibson tells the cop "Don't call me father." comes up and I chimed up with "Call me Daddy." And everybody lost it for so long we had to pause the movie until everyone was composed.
That's an MST3K-caliber riff right there.
19:05
Pantry Door Rage Activated: *100%*
Imagine if they landed on the polar caps
imagine if they landed hours before a massive rainstorm
Or during a hurricane.
Dear God, that'd be like walking on solid lava. THEY'D DIE INSTANTLY
what if they're landing in swamp or on the coast before high tide or better yet spring tide - but I'm curious are they only effected by sweat water or also by salt water and what's with sour rain?
"The most advanced of civilizations have the most amount of trouble with the simplest of tasks"
Yeah but at this point it's ridiculous. At no point will there be a race so advanced that it won't know how to open a fucking wooden door, everything about the mere existence of a door explains what it is and how to solve it's ludicrously simple puzzle.
They are advanced sure but that doesnt mean they are body builders. brain develops so other features fade. Put a 100 lb man in a locked pantry and see if they break down the door.
@@ryanr4361 well he could bust open the door pretty quickly if he could just shoot it with some kind of crazy advanced space age weapon which is absolutely what should of happened, or hell why send infantry at all just nuke em from orbit. (That was just an expression by the way "blow em up with an artillery strike," just isn't as catchy)
Which is a retarded sentence.
"To-ka!"
Critic's angry jumping has made my week 😂😂😂 I've replayed it so many times!
The way Critic said, "Beat the shit out of it" was the best part. His emphasis was priceless.