25 Funny Headlines That Actually Should Have Come From The Onion But Didn't

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  • Опубліковано 4 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 303

  • @I_am_Allan
    @I_am_Allan 5 років тому +36

    Mike, thank you. Your laughter made my Monday less "Mondayish" ... I appreciate it.

  • @jaspr1999
    @jaspr1999 5 років тому +27

    Mike... Man, your laughter is contagious! Bless your heart!!!
    As for the amputee shooting someone... Was he armed? Legged? Was his arm blazing so it would be a firearm?
    In all seriousness, I did run over a cops foot in my wheelchair. He was trying to help me and I accidentally did run over his foot and could only think to tell him I was the nemesis of his arches.

    • @terryenby2304
      @terryenby2304 5 років тому +1

      jaspr1999 impressive!! I’m yet to run over anyone but my husband. It’s amusing, but I think a bobby would be more exciting lol

    • @tammileroux3329
      @tammileroux3329 5 років тому +1

      After Mike you get the laugh of the day!

  • @PRDreams
    @PRDreams 5 років тому +49

    Anything with "Florida man" at the beginning. All of them sound like they came from The Onion website 🤣

    • @isaach1447
      @isaach1447 5 років тому +4

      Yaria Samavan Carlan That’s sexist! Stories beginning “Florida woman” can be equally bizarre! ....or “Florida non-binary”....or um...hell, ANYTHING having to do with Florida!

    • @PRDreams
      @PRDreams 5 років тому +2

      @@isaach1447 you've won this round Issac, but mark my words: the day will come where I will win!!!!😂🤣😂

    • @dave19cat
      @dave19cat 5 років тому +1

      The actual phrase they use is “area man.”

  • @timlane3275
    @timlane3275 5 років тому +5

    It is rare to find somebody who is both good at their job and obviously enjoys doing it. Hats off

  • @joey4track
    @joey4track 5 років тому +43

    Just about every article I see these days seems like it came from The Onion. I think the world has officially jumped the shark

    • @ron234halt
      @ron234halt 5 років тому

      And Richie's growing a moustache...

  • @Smally273
    @Smally273 5 років тому +26

    Watching Mike die of laughter is the best thing I've seen today.

  • @redshark42
    @redshark42 5 років тому +21

    Now y'all gonna feel real silly when y'all get the Heaven and you can't get in without a golden ticket 😂

  • @a.c.1605
    @a.c.1605 5 років тому +22

    Mike’s laugh is contagious! I lost it with the Cocaine planet too 🤣

  • @bonniebaldridge1248
    @bonniebaldridge1248 5 років тому +14

    Okay, watching Mike lose it with laughter made my day!!!!! Love it!

  • @ravensshadow2179
    @ravensshadow2179 5 років тому +16

    Best headline I ever saw was for a girls high school soccer it said " Beaver scores big to move on"

  • @carmenmcalistet5452
    @carmenmcalistet5452 5 років тому +9

    The Taco Bell guy should have checked behind the KFC. Jesus could've hooked him up. 😆

  • @danielcax2806
    @danielcax2806 5 років тому +29

    I haven't laugh so hard in a long time. Can you do a part two please ?

  • @EST19XX162
    @EST19XX162 5 років тому +26

    I live near an Amish community this is more frequent than u would think iv seen buggy’s pulled over for to loud sound systems 😂

    • @kitterzy
      @kitterzy 5 років тому +5

      This is *true* because I saw it for myself (in the rural town my mother-in-law lives in)!

    • @todddougherty9492
      @todddougherty9492 5 років тому +4

      Please Lord... a video of a buggy with a kickin sound system OR 2 dudes in blue clothes and black rim hats on top of a buggy would complete my life 🙏🤘🙏

    • @EST19XX162
      @EST19XX162 5 років тому +1

      Todd Dougherty bahaha totally will next time I see one rocking a decent system some of them even have under glow 😂

    • @torhildsagenghansen6074
      @torhildsagenghansen6074 5 років тому +1

      The Amish just ain't the way they used to... :D

    • @badgerbadger-badger-Poppy
      @badgerbadger-badger-Poppy 4 роки тому +2

      Too loud sound systems in Amish buggies...

  • @thelorax9622
    @thelorax9622 4 роки тому +1

    I'm not someone who busts a gut laughing all that often when I find something funny. My mother says the biggest laugh she's ever seen from me was due to the news. The newsreader said "Next - the story of a man who killed his wife, buried her under a newly-built shed - and didn't tell anyone".
    I fell off the sofa laughing.

  • @sandyr-w6906
    @sandyr-w6906 5 років тому +10

    Wow, Mike, you could barely make it through this list without laughing.

  • @QueSarahSarah72
    @QueSarahSarah72 5 років тому +3

    Mike's laughing fit at the couple selling golden tickets was the best thing I heard today. I so needed to hear that 😂

  • @thegingergyrl455
    @thegingergyrl455 5 років тому +4

    Mike laughing uncontrollably is the content I come here for. 👏🏻👍🏻❤️

  • @Ickiesgal
    @Ickiesgal 5 років тому +4

    Mike... do you know how awesome you are? I love the way you can deliver lines like a well trained professional maki g the lists informative and also dealing with serious topics. Then you get tickled..... (sometimes Tristens Fault but we love him too). And then you totally brighten our day with your infectious laughter and sounds like the BEST cartoon character! My 3 yr old thinks you are her uncle and the other two love you too. THANK YOU for keeping the list clean and allowing young impressionable kids, future scientists and doctors and professors, the change to learn in a kid friendly environment that entertains while teaching them. You know your GOOD when three kids under 10 would rather watch YOU (and Tristen ) instead of seasame street ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @spooniesarah
    @spooniesarah 4 роки тому +2

    Lol when Mike's voice went up more than a few octaves with the "golden tickets to heaven/ride to planet made of cocaine" headline 😆

  • @riceracm
    @riceracm 5 років тому +11

    The crack planet headline should have been #1....that was just delightful 😆

    • @darreljones8645
      @darreljones8645 5 років тому

      No, that wasn't in the headline. The headline only mentioned the "golden ticket to heaven".

  • @kubek
    @kubek 5 років тому +4

    Never heard of the onion. Since the invention of fake news, I don't even know what's real or not. Even watching the news makes me question if that's real or not.

  • @mike95826
    @mike95826 5 років тому +6

    "Dead body found in cemetery, police trying to determine how long it had been there"
    "Man found LOCKED inside 24 hour fitness club". When asked, the owner said, we may be open 24 hours/7 days a week, but not all in a row.
    "Fortune teller going out of business due to unforeseen circumstances".

    • @gimbobjenkins405
      @gimbobjenkins405 5 років тому +1

      In todays news a group of animal rights activists were eaten by bears.

  • @patrickaycock3655
    @patrickaycock3655 5 років тому +3

    Watching mike break his gigglebox is hilarious. Then he said he lost it with the cocaine. Phrasing mike. Phrasing. Lol. I actually laughed. Felt good this morning. Thanks.

  • @alexandra109
    @alexandra109 5 років тому +5

    News Flash- Mike denies allegations of being a Furry. He insists he’s just a supporter of the lifestyle.

  • @moranarevel
    @moranarevel 5 років тому +11

    Love love Love your announcer voice

    • @patrickaycock3655
      @patrickaycock3655 5 років тому +3

      Yah he should do some voice acting. His deep voice is great and if you arent looking at him, ud swear it was someone else.

  • @JesusIsKing9763
    @JesusIsKing9763 Рік тому +1

    I use The Babylon Bee instead of The Onion!

  • @robertschlesinger1342
    @robertschlesinger1342 5 років тому +1

    Great selection of news headlines. Please post a sequel video.

  • @Amethyst_Dragon_
    @Amethyst_Dragon_ 5 років тому +1

    Love your laugh ...best list yet...thank you for posting...

  • @theduder2617
    @theduder2617 9 місяців тому

    I return to this episode on a somewhat regular basis. The laughter within genuinely brightens the day.

  • @jmhave825
    @jmhave825 5 років тому +1

    Mike, thank you for for the iguana explanation. I saw a story about falling iguana and I was concerned about the creatures safety. I appreciate this insight.
    Ps your laughter on the golden ticket story was adorable!

  • @Flamsterette
    @Flamsterette 5 років тому +5

    I also read the Beaverton, Canada's version of the Onion.

  • @supersaiyanzero386
    @supersaiyanzero386 5 років тому +10

    I read the onion. I don't get it though, and I start crying.

    • @christelheadington1136
      @christelheadington1136 5 років тому +2

      You have to speed read it. Lingering over each layer, will mess you up.

    • @doudoumouri
      @doudoumouri 5 років тому

      😂

    • @Guna89420
      @Guna89420 5 років тому +1

      @Lucas Gawor amazing! Just over 40 lines of haha'ing without any double h or a's lol that's good be some kind of record! Noice! Lol

    • @doudoumouri
      @doudoumouri 5 років тому

      Lucas Gawor chill mate

    • @supersaiyanzero386
      @supersaiyanzero386 5 років тому

      @@christelheadington1136 thank you for the tip

  • @y_fam_goeglyd
    @y_fam_goeglyd 5 років тому +2

    Mike, you have the most infectious laugh! That corpse moment was classic!

  • @triviashiraz1808
    @triviashiraz1808 4 роки тому +1

    Welp, I never knew what romaine lettuce felt like shooting through my sinuses and out of my nostril until #16. Thanks?

  • @nativecree1
    @nativecree1 5 років тому +1

    #11 is actually true, especially when you consider Canada's distracted driver laws. The laws vary by province, you should consider doing a List 25 on them.

  • @catguy5425
    @catguy5425 5 років тому +7

    6:12
    Crap, we broke about Mike With List25. Somebody text Tristan to pick up another one at Walmart.

    • @catguy5425
      @catguy5425 5 років тому

      @Squeezably Soft Refund? We're not trying to get rid of him! Just a replacement model!

  • @glynismccartneyintricatesc5281
    @glynismccartneyintricatesc5281 4 роки тому +1

    Loved watching you crack up! You are the best!

  • @smr6141
    @smr6141 5 років тому +1

    Am I the only one who thinks number 16 should’ve actually been number one? No, just me, ok... Because that made me both laugh and cry though TBH Mike’s laughing definitely contagious

  • @miriambucholtz9315
    @miriambucholtz9315 5 років тому +1

    Maybe that amputee hired a hit man to do the job and was found guilty of that.

  • @gavinsuddarth696
    @gavinsuddarth696 5 років тому +4

    Should have got Calvin to deal with his buddy Hobbes in the number 10 spot.

  • @53Slower
    @53Slower 5 років тому +1

    in the Bloomington Illinois pantograph " Normal boy marries Oblong girl !"

  • @NicJohn
    @NicJohn 5 років тому +6

    I remember that mcnugget story. They refused to give her a refund and they knew that they were out of nuggets when they took her money. But she should have called the nonemergency number, not 911.

    • @HemlockRidge
      @HemlockRidge 5 років тому +2

      I heard that she refused the refund and insisted on the nuggets . But that's not what she told the cops, so who's story did the Media go with?

    • @LadyHeathen82
      @LadyHeathen82 5 років тому +1

      HemlockRidge 👍🏼

  • @barrywerdell2614
    @barrywerdell2614 5 років тому +3

    Number 16, the planet is gone now, Galactus smoked it.

  • @ronfreniere8769
    @ronfreniere8769 5 місяців тому

    About the 2 old man who went to a concert, I used to work in a nursing home. One day one of the patients went missing, he was located in New York city, "he had called himself a cab and had the driver take him) because he had tickets to a concert. Lol

  • @jons.6216
    @jons.6216 5 років тому +1

    Hilarious, Mike! You should bust out more often! Especially with goofy material like this list! Priceless!!

  • @lucymacdonald7601
    @lucymacdonald7601 Рік тому

    "Police confirm that a foot found washed up on shore belongs to a dead man."

  • @teresaobrien6234
    @teresaobrien6234 5 років тому +2

    Mike losing it was priceless.

  • @crystalgoddess4085
    @crystalgoddess4085 Рік тому

    What makes the Tony the Tiger thing funnier, a while after that, Kellog's tried having a Tony the Tiger VTuber on Twitch, because the guy playing Tony was so oblivious to everything chat was saying, they got him to say some rather risky stuff unknowingly, well, chat knew, Tony didn't. Of course, he didn't last very long.

  • @cristinitacorazon3377
    @cristinitacorazon3377 5 років тому +3

    I spit laughed at "I'm Jack Sparrow!"

    • @todddougherty9492
      @todddougherty9492 5 років тому

      Cristinita Corazon, thank you. I was giggling like a bitch when he said that!! I couldn’t stop picturing it!!!

  • @TheJustineCredible
    @TheJustineCredible 7 місяців тому

    "The Onion" originally a printed saterical "new" paper started in Chicago, where it got it's name. The city's name means "Wild Onion" in Miami-Illinois language "shikaakwa".

  • @chloejohnson6861
    @chloejohnson6861 5 років тому

    The couple selling tickets to the crack planet should have been #1.

  • @Speculativedude
    @Speculativedude 5 років тому

    On that last one, to be fair, some people don't know what being a "teenager" actually means. When my sister was 15 my mom had to explain to her that someone was not a teenager from the age of 11 until 22...… Not sure where she got the idea, but still feels weird remembering that conversation.

  • @kathleensmith7123
    @kathleensmith7123 28 днів тому

    Part 2 is just as good, Mike, can you do a part 3?

  • @21691jt
    @21691jt 5 років тому +5

    Rumspringa!!!

  • @mariewalker9466
    @mariewalker9466 5 років тому +3

    Love the 2 old heavy metal rockers (pun intended) I want to party with them, lol & the kidnapped victim who didn't believe The Donald got elected. I still don't believe it either.
    LMAO! 🤣🤣

  • @JohnSmith-zw8vp
    @JohnSmith-zw8vp 2 роки тому

    1:15 -- Doc Brown: Tell me, future boy...who's the President of the United States?
    Marty: Donald Trump!
    Doc Brown: THE CASINO GUY!?!?

  • @tigeresscrazy8085
    @tigeresscrazy8085 5 років тому +2

    This list proves truth is stranger than fiction 😂

  • @earlenewallace8445
    @earlenewallace8445 5 років тому +2

    As funny as they all were, number 16 got me. I'm still laughing. My God those two were brain dead 😂😂😂💗

  • @alexallen9640
    @alexallen9640 5 років тому

    Interesting list you guys 🙂👍

  • @tomgcooktown5019
    @tomgcooktown5019 5 років тому

    Best 'lost it' giggles yet, Mike!! Also, your ;announcers' voice' later, spot on. TgT

  • @krysti2
    @krysti2 Рік тому

    Omg, you're killing me... Thankyou!!*😂🎉🎉🎉

  • @mimig.4788
    @mimig.4788 Рік тому

    I love you Mike...you're so cute and funny...I really love seeing your joyus and funny reactions to some of your list mentions!

  • @byron2521
    @byron2521 4 роки тому

    # 24: When I heard Donald Trump was president, I thought it was a joke too.

  • @LongfellowDeeds-jy2le
    @LongfellowDeeds-jy2le 5 років тому +1

    The sub reddit for people who think the onion articles are real is just infuriating. It’s can be funny but it just shows how many people don’t bother to check if it’s real or not.

  • @marymarney3843
    @marymarney3843 5 років тому +2

    I can't believe you didn't have the story about the man who threw an alligator through a Wendy's drive through window.

  • @just_kos99
    @just_kos99 5 років тому

    About the cop being shot by an unarmed man, I read an article on a humor site that quoted someone as having their door "fired upon by an unloaded gun." I'm pretty sure they meant being AIMED AT by an unloaded gun.

  • @terryenby2304
    @terryenby2304 5 років тому

    Mike it has been too long since I started worrying that you had hypoxia while laughing so hard... this was a good list :)

  • @Metalheart1347
    @Metalheart1347 5 років тому

    I somehow now picture in my mind intergalactic narcotics officers busting an entire planet for possession of crack cocaine

  • @shaynamiklas6802
    @shaynamiklas6802 Рік тому

    😂😂😮😢🤣😂😎👍👌
    #16, Oh, Mike, your voice, just kept getting higher pitched with every breath. Lol. That headline was the weirdest contender for a totally knarly sounding r/Brandnewsentence.

  • @grumpyguy2877
    @grumpyguy2877 4 роки тому

    Good list 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

  • @LuciferMorningstar-zu1ud
    @LuciferMorningstar-zu1ud 4 місяці тому

    Omfg 😂 I’m dying just as much as he is!! These are just pure gold 😂 😭

  • @Tryo707
    @Tryo707 5 років тому

    Don't eat the onion. That's reserved for Florida man.

  • @roughrideroneone
    @roughrideroneone 5 років тому +1

    That was Hobbes in the standoff with the police.

  • @j.p.6932
    @j.p.6932 4 місяці тому

    3:02 I saw video of the guy stealing the chainsaw, and it’s so obvious. The employees had to have noticed. Maybe they’re instructed to not confront shoplifters to avoid any possibly violent reaction.

  • @marccolten9801
    @marccolten9801 5 років тому

    When mob informant Abie Reles went out the 6th floor window of Coney Island's Half Moon hotel (only blocks from where I would eventually grow up) to his death the headline was "Canary can sing but can't fly". Cold.

  • @Sick_Boy_Rick74
    @Sick_Boy_Rick74 5 років тому +2

    The truly funny thing about the golden tickets to heaven is that they actually managed to sell some of them!!!!

    • @Wordavee1
      @Wordavee1 5 років тому

      I wouldn't even speak to those two in the street, never mind buy anything off them!!,

  • @pamelamays4186
    @pamelamays4186 5 років тому +1

    Tristan has lost control.

  • @SallyAnn191
    @SallyAnn191 5 років тому +4

    Just laughing at you laughing.

  • @samkamps3
    @samkamps3 2 роки тому +1

    An amputee could still have hands. Technically a person can be classified as an amputee if their little toe has been amputated.

    • @list25
      @list25  2 роки тому +1

      I get that but I don't think that's what they meant. A guy missing a finger probably isn't going to be referred to as an amputee in a news story.

  • @gimbobjenkins405
    @gimbobjenkins405 5 років тому

    The golden ticket story turned out to be fake but there are people who knock on your door asking if you want to buy a plane ticket to heaven.

  • @robertmatthews2009
    @robertmatthews2009 5 років тому

    Was his toe amputated? His foot? His leg? None of these would prevent him from using a gun.

  • @jenniferaby442
    @jenniferaby442 5 років тому

    By CDC definition teen pregnancy ages are from 9 to 25 years of age.

  • @Panwere36
    @Panwere36 5 років тому

    I agree.. this is the most absurd list so far!!

  • @ericbnielsen
    @ericbnielsen 5 років тому

    “Fertile woman dies in Climax” a supposedly real headline found in the Grand Forks ND newspaper in 1963. Fertile and Climax are small towns in Minnesota.

  • @halrhoads6194
    @halrhoads6194 5 років тому

    LOL. Great stuff!

  • @jedirevan5892
    @jedirevan5892 5 років тому

    #21 should have been a double, the other headline on the page said "Bank calls cops on black man trying to cash check from discrimination lawsuit".

  • @AresLeviathan
    @AresLeviathan 5 років тому

    5:45 the second Mike broke. XD

  • @CrixyTnT
    @CrixyTnT 5 років тому +2

    Elmo @ 6:24

  • @Daviticus042
    @Daviticus042 5 років тому

    #18: How do you know the guy was missing ALL his limbs?
    #16: Note: Stevie died on the way to his home planet.
    #12: Hey, if it's like most of the quotes attributed to Einstein, he didn't even actually say it.

    • @Daviticus042
      @Daviticus042 5 років тому

      Seriously, though, I loved this one!

  • @ImperialisticGamer
    @ImperialisticGamer 5 років тому +1

    Lmao...Kentucky fried Christ!!!

    • @patrickaycock3655
      @patrickaycock3655 5 років тому +1

      Kentucky fried crack. Now you can get two tickets to heaven with the purchase of a family bucket deal. No refunds. Products sold as is.

  • @Dippedinsilver1974
    @Dippedinsilver1974 5 років тому

    Hilarious list 🤣

  • @Unknown17
    @Unknown17 5 років тому

    I saw a National Enquirer headline: "Couple Flees Talking Bear." At first I thought maybe the bear asked to have his fleas removed, but no, it meant that the couple ran away from it. Heck, I would have stuck around and asked the bear some questions about honey production or Mowgli or why cartoon bears wear hats and neckties but no pants. A valuable resource wasted!

  •  5 років тому

    It's raining, it's pouring, iguana's are snoring.

  • @ptbonner1976
    @ptbonner1976 Рік тому

    Saw one once that said homicide victims rarely cooperate with the police.

  • @hellenwilliams334
    @hellenwilliams334 5 років тому

    Where do you find these gems🤣🤣🤣🤣👍👍👍👍

  • @granta82
    @granta82 5 років тому

    Liking the new studio :-)

  • @Lionesse-z41553
    @Lionesse-z41553 5 років тому

    #8-Isee what you did there! 🤣

  • @joannewilson1162
    @joannewilson1162 Рік тому

    Truth is Stranger than fiction. Always.

  • @Ickiesgal
    @Ickiesgal 5 років тому

    Alol. Mike you’re awesome with the slap stick!! Live your wit.

  • @gr8handsftl
    @gr8handsftl 5 років тому

    You guys should do a 25 Craziest/Funniest Florida Man/Woman stories/headlines