I started singing Amazing Grace (slow version) to my son and he too starts trying to sing "oooooo" and then starts to cry until i soothe him when he stops. I repeat, the singing and then he repeats the imitating and then crying...
Thank you for posting this amazing lecture. Stuart Shanker is amazing. Not only does he have the needed knowledge to help kids (and adults) but he’s also a skilled teacher. I’m always in flow while listening to him. I could listen to him for hours.
Please activate subtitles. Sometimes, the names of authors that Stuart mentions are difficult to find, specific words, etc.Don’t want to miss a word of what he says.
Do you think why we have a generation of kids who are always tense has a correlation that we are in a generation that doesn't know how to submit? This is a generation where kids aren't aware or live by the life of a proper pecking order. Kids are the centre of their world and there is no learning of how to submit to a higher power (teacher/parent/principal). This is stressful!!!!! To submit is to put on the break for them! Kids are kids and they need help with systems that are not yet developed. We have a world filled with parents who have actually surrendered their leadership role to their children. THis is damaging for the child and the parent! thank you for posting. so interesting!
I am sorry, but from a infant and childhood mental health perspective, I beleive you absolutely have it backwards, Kids should not be taught on' how to submit." My question to you is why do you think children should submit to a "higher power?" In fact, that is the very definition of repression and shutdown and in fact directly leads to a whole plethora of mental health disorders. Kids should always be the center of the world. We should not view that (as threatening or rash or impetuous impulses that need to come under control) as your question resoundingly implies. The latter is a part of a historical llegacy that is simply incorrect. For example, such notions that children are inaturally or inherently manipulative, too narcissistic and consequently constant power struggles will ensue whereby thery need to learn better "self-control." Therefore, if they have "better regulation of their emotions" they would comply ("submit more readily to the "pecking order" and hence less behavioral problems). "Self-regulation" is the comfortability for a child to feel safe to engage with others and the world. A fludity of nonverbal and verbal reciprocal affective (emotional) communicative exchanges from an existential position of safety with the world! Self-Regulation is NOT the same thing as self-control." Rather, we as parents need to guide, support and embrace our childen's exploration, their journey, their natural (biopsychosocial) emotional developmental process. Where for example, They feel felt. They feel heard. They feel connected with and so, so significantly (and this cannot be underscored enough) they don't feel invisibly or tactitly threatened (i.e., in a constant state of heightened anxiety/hypervigilance or fight/flight or withdrawal/shutdown) We have to learn what we (most or many than are willing to consider, as it is, understandably, unadmittedly frightening) what we are inter-generationally projecting upon our children from our own early experiences and not feel threatened whereby for example, we confuse or equate "regulation with submission to higher authority." The above (typcally without conscious notice) falls under the simply incorrect and poisonous pedagogy,, "Give a child an inch and s/he will take a mile." It is not that our children need help with understanding boundaries whereby, ipso facto, they will more naturally come to an understanding to "submit" to what you assert is a rightful pecking order. Rather, and most urgently we need to understand from our own early childhood experiences (our own imprisoned and silenced voices within and the posionous pedogogy many of us were subjected to as children) to gain access to our own early experiences and emotionally support and engage and not feel threatened by our child's exploding explorations and their need for emotional connections with us and the world, which when they feel felt and heard allows then to embody on a biopsychosocial level TRUST and Safety. Relational Safety" creates healthy boundaries and never (not even a scintillia) submission to a higher pecking order!"
Neilgs it depends what and who they are submitting too💗. It’s a surrender. I surrender my heart to the Lord, and it was only then that I have found true life. If I never learned to submit to the One who gives life and guides me in love - my life falls apart. I am so grateful that I can love my kids, guide my kids, ask them and my Lord for forgiveness when I get it wrong. This surrender to the Lord’s will is so important. If I don’t teach my kids what that type of surrender or submission is, I have not loved them fully. My kids are strong, compassionate, amazing kids who know how to look to the Lord for love and support. To love their neighbours when they don’t feel like it. To forgive. To serve. All these and many more things come from a life transformed and surrender. The truth is we all surrender: it’s just what too? Money? Fame? Fitness? Blessings on you. Thank you for loving your kids and the kids around you.
@@CarolynSchulz i believe you can model that with your higher power but it has to be their choice, you can't make them believe anything. And its not the children's job to submit its the parents job to have firm limits on what's important or safety issues and to keep their own boundaries. understanding child development and trusting they're doing the best they can and empathetically but firmly keeping the limits and boundaries yourself. Its actually sounds like you're giving the child too much power in some ways and also being under the illusion of having too much power and control over what they believe, think or say
Autistic brains are known to be high in estrogen. I believe it's because they are in fight or flight often. This releases a lot of cortisol which takes testosterone with it leaving all the estrogen. Many people with breast C and prostate C also are high in estrogen. I believe sleep apnea also causes fight or flight. Many people who have sleep apnea will go on to have high estrogen levels.
I started singing Amazing Grace (slow version) to my son and he too starts trying to sing "oooooo" and then starts to cry until i soothe him when he stops. I repeat, the singing and then he repeats the imitating and then crying...
Thank you for posting this amazing lecture. Stuart Shanker is amazing. Not only does he have the needed knowledge to help kids (and adults) but he’s also a skilled teacher. I’m always in flow while listening to him. I could listen to him for hours.
This is brilliant. Is there a transcript for it? I would love to hear the responses the audience members give
Thank you Roots of Empathy for posting this! I just got his book! Such a mind blowing talk!
Wonderful info. Would love even more if subtitles in English could be added. Need it specially for names of researchers.
Thank you.
Is that why some kids spit a lot when throwing tantrums or having meltdowns? Releasing cortisol?
And why stresses cause kids to wet their beds?
Please activate subtitles. Sometimes, the names of authors that Stuart mentions are difficult to find, specific words, etc.Don’t want to miss a word of what he says.
Great😊
@56:00 "video games are stressor"
Do you think why we have a generation of kids who are always tense has a correlation that we are in a generation that doesn't know how to submit? This is a generation where kids aren't aware or live by the life of a proper pecking order. Kids are the centre of their world and there is no learning of how to submit to a higher power (teacher/parent/principal). This is stressful!!!!! To submit is to put on the break for them! Kids are kids and they need help with systems that are not yet developed. We have a world filled with parents who have actually surrendered their leadership role to their children. THis is damaging for the child and the parent!
thank you for posting. so interesting!
I am sorry, but from a infant and childhood mental health perspective, I beleive you absolutely have it backwards, Kids should not be taught on' how to submit." My question to you is why do you think children should submit to a "higher power?" In fact, that is the very definition of repression and shutdown and in fact directly leads to a whole plethora of mental health disorders. Kids should always be the center of the world. We should not view that (as threatening or rash or impetuous impulses that need to come under control) as your question resoundingly implies. The latter is a part of a historical llegacy that is simply incorrect. For example, such notions that children are inaturally or inherently manipulative, too narcissistic and consequently constant power struggles will ensue whereby thery need to learn better "self-control." Therefore, if they have "better regulation of their emotions" they would comply ("submit more readily to the "pecking order" and hence less behavioral problems). "Self-regulation" is the comfortability for a child to feel safe to engage with others and the world. A fludity of nonverbal and verbal reciprocal affective (emotional) communicative exchanges from an existential position of safety with the world! Self-Regulation is NOT the same thing as self-control."
Rather, we as parents need to guide, support and embrace our childen's exploration, their journey, their natural (biopsychosocial) emotional developmental process. Where for example, They feel felt. They feel heard. They feel connected with and so, so significantly (and this cannot be underscored enough) they don't feel invisibly or tactitly threatened (i.e., in a constant state of heightened anxiety/hypervigilance or fight/flight or withdrawal/shutdown) We have to learn what we (most or many than are willing to consider, as it is, understandably, unadmittedly frightening) what we are inter-generationally projecting upon our children from our own early experiences and not feel threatened whereby for example, we confuse or equate "regulation with submission to higher authority."
The above (typcally without conscious notice) falls under the simply incorrect and poisonous pedagogy,, "Give a child an inch and s/he will take a mile." It is not that our children need help with understanding boundaries whereby, ipso facto, they will more naturally come to an understanding to "submit" to what you assert is a rightful pecking order. Rather, and most urgently we need to understand from our own early childhood experiences (our own imprisoned and silenced voices within and the posionous pedogogy many of us were subjected to as children) to gain access to our own early experiences and emotionally support and engage and not feel threatened by our child's exploding explorations and their need for emotional connections with us and the world, which when they feel felt and heard allows then to embody on a biopsychosocial level TRUST and Safety. Relational Safety" creates healthy boundaries and never (not even a scintillia) submission to a higher pecking order!"
Neilgs it depends what and who they are submitting too💗. It’s a surrender. I surrender my heart to the Lord, and it was only then that I have found true life. If I never learned to submit to the One who gives life and guides me in love - my life falls apart. I am so grateful that I can love my kids, guide my kids, ask them and my Lord for forgiveness when I get it wrong. This surrender to the Lord’s will is so important. If I don’t teach my kids what that type of surrender or submission is, I have not loved them fully. My kids are strong, compassionate, amazing kids who know how to look to the Lord for love and support. To love their neighbours when they don’t feel like it. To forgive. To serve. All these and many more things come from a life transformed and surrender. The truth is we all surrender: it’s just what too? Money? Fame? Fitness?
Blessings on you. Thank you for loving your kids and the kids around you.
@@CarolynSchulz i believe you can model that with your higher power but it has to be their choice, you can't make them believe anything. And its not the children's job to submit its the parents job to have firm limits on what's important or safety issues and to keep their own boundaries. understanding child development and trusting they're doing the best they can and empathetically but firmly keeping the limits and boundaries yourself. Its actually sounds like you're giving the child too much power in some ways and also being under the illusion of having too much power and control over what they believe, think or say
Autistic brains are known to be high in estrogen. I believe it's because they are in fight or flight often. This releases a lot of cortisol which takes testosterone with it leaving all the estrogen.
Many people with breast C and prostate C also are high in estrogen. I believe sleep apnea also causes fight or flight. Many people who have sleep apnea will go on to have high estrogen levels.
Tell me you didn’t watch the video without telling me 😂😂😂😂
Thank you.