Is the First Year of Marriage a Nightmare?

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  • Опубліковано 21 жов 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 92

  • @emwilss
    @emwilss  6 років тому +42

    Do you have other fears about marriage that you'd want me to talk about? Let me know!

    • @laurenjoy6106
      @laurenjoy6106 6 років тому +4

      How did you know he was the one?

    • @Nikki-ks6wi
      @Nikki-ks6wi 6 років тому +6

      getting used to being on your own/contempt as an adult in marriage, I am glad to have my husband but i notice I am lonely at times when home alone because I
      used to have family all around. Also I am an only child and think that has something to do with it. I would love some tips to overcoming that fear of being on my own with such big responsibilities like taking care of my home, one day kids etc.

    • @jeannehenkel6954
      @jeannehenkel6954 6 років тому +9

      How do you know you are called to marriage?

    • @rachelph101
      @rachelph101 6 років тому +13

      Did you talk about your fears about marriage with Daniel before getting married?

    • @kellyleary98
      @kellyleary98 6 років тому +5

      Any advice for young married couples learning how to "grow up" with their spouse?

  • @cathy2142
    @cathy2142 6 років тому +290

    I totally still feel like the honey moon period 15 years in! I wake up every day so in love and sooo happy to be sharing my life with such a great man! He also is so giddy to see me and I feel so lucky!!!

    • @veronica.theswamphag
      @veronica.theswamphag 6 років тому +36

      That's the dream 😍😍 so happy for you 💛

    • @cathy2142
      @cathy2142 6 років тому +34

      thank you! my husband is shorter than me and i used to say I would never date a man shorter but I am so glad i matured and let go of that. I don't like the disney ideas of how "prince" should look and how we should pine for a mystery husband someday. I let a real person become my friend, fiance, then husband and our marriage is our most valuable possession

    • @kaybee2798
      @kaybee2798 6 років тому +2

      Cathy Kauffman that’s great

    • @biblicallyblonde
      @biblicallyblonde 6 років тому +3

      That’s such an answered prayer! Yay god for you and your marriage

    • @biblicallyblonde
      @biblicallyblonde 6 років тому +2

      Veronica Marie right? That’s the goal!

  • @RoxxieDymond
    @RoxxieDymond 6 років тому +169

    I've always been afraid of marriage because I was never surrounded by good, healthy marriages. All the women in my family hate their husbands, and all the men in my life can't stand their wives & they are some of the most laziest, ungrateful men you will ever meet. I always thought that I'd marry the wrong guy without knowing it, that he would pretend to be someone he's not, and once we tie the knot, change completely & I become trapped. It's what happened to my mother & all of my aunts. I've never been around a happy marriage but I can change that. The cycle ends with me!! As long as I let GOD take control, I will be just fine! Thanks for this video, it's made me feel so much better. ❤

    • @rosewood4105
      @rosewood4105 6 років тому +5

      All the best, dear. God is with you. I pray He leads you to the right person 🙏🏾

  • @Ashley-lv5vl
    @Ashley-lv5vl 6 років тому +111

    People told my husband & I (we’ve been married for about 10 months now) that not living together before marriage was stupid and especially extra dumb cause neither of us have ever lived outside of our parents home. But low & behold.. we moved in together after marriage and we learned to run not only a household but to live with each other. It was such a beautiful thing to look forward to living together after our wedding 👰 Like a lot of my friends who’ve lived together before marriage then got married said that it felt like nothing changed once they got married which is sad.. for us it felt like everything changed for the best!

    • @lynnjoellegardner10
      @lynnjoellegardner10 6 років тому +4

      Yay! This is what I will do in a few years, I’m happy you did it and it worked.

  • @kaybee2798
    @kaybee2798 6 років тому +112

    My worst fears about marriage:
    • feeling trapped
    • infidelity
    • growing apart
    • abuse
    • getting board of each other
    • not communicating
    • my children growing up in a broken home
    • dying alone

    • @sewwithore3618
      @sewwithore3618 6 років тому +4

      Kay Bee yes exactly thank you!

    • @biblicallyblonde
      @biblicallyblonde 6 років тому +13

      Kay Bee you are not alone 💕 I think those are all fears we have and while some don’t say they have them, they do. Trust gods plan for you and it will all be okay. I know that’s so cliche to say but it is so true

  • @annnichole5495
    @annnichole5495 6 років тому +28

    Please do a “fears about a first relationship” video!! Thanks !

  • @lisaeshleman754
    @lisaeshleman754 6 років тому +51

    I'm a Christian and recently I've been thinking about becoming Catholic!! I would LOVE any advice people have and maybe you could even do a video about that like a Catholicism 101 type thing.

  • @rebeccadurden4281
    @rebeccadurden4281 6 років тому +19

    This really reminds me of Proverbs 18:21. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”
    ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18:21‬ ‭KJV‬‬
    I could be wrong, and I’m not married so my opinion might be different because of that, but that verse rings so true. You HAVE to speak life into your marriage. You have to try, with a conscious and fervent heart to try your best everyday. If you give it your best shot, you will see the fruit of that. There will still be times where life gets cray cray, but working through that and continuing to speak life even when the unseen is happening will feed an unbreakable covenant.

  • @ZipperPantz
    @ZipperPantz 6 років тому +11

    I love my marriage. I love marriage.
    God created something truly special!
    My husband and I loved our first year of marriage and I remember looking back over it and thinking it was nothing like people said it would be. It was amazing! We didn’t live together before we were married and it was seriously so special because our whole lives changed the day we got married!
    We are now 5 years in with 2 kids and we wouldn’t have it any other way. We sure have had some hard times but we take each day as it comes. We trust God and we know that HE has the perfect plan.
    There is blessing in obedience. Even if that blessing is just joy in the struggle! It’s worth it 💕

  • @Turtle_ducks
    @Turtle_ducks 6 років тому +9

    Your channel is where I go at 12 in the morning when I'm stressing out to calm myself. Thank you for everything 💜

  • @elisabethwawersik1450
    @elisabethwawersik1450 6 років тому +26

    Oh my goodness thank you for posting. I've been feeling stressed recently in my relationship with my boyfriend and I realized it was pressures and expectations I was putting on myself. You're a breath of fresh air. Thank you!

  • @annenesa111
    @annenesa111 6 років тому +20

    Emily can you make a video as to what you and Daniel talked about before getting married? You mentioned that you talked about everything with Daniel before getting married. If you are able to share some of it that would be great!!

  • @morganhurst2902
    @morganhurst2902 6 років тому +25

    Thank you for making this video Emily! I am getting married in less than 2 months (yay!), and it gives me consolation about a few things people are warning me about! It is great to be reminded that we have to discern the advice we are given and pray about whether or not we should heed it. Also, I love what you said about how each couple functions differently, and we need to live our own lives together without the influence of others. I think that will be particularly helpful for us as we begin our new life. Love your videos! God bless!

    • @biblicallyblonde
      @biblicallyblonde 6 років тому +1

      Morgan Hurst congrats on getting married! I hope your wedding day is filled with blessings. My first year of marriage was rough, we basically skipped the honeymoons period and went straight for the warnings everyone told us about. However, we are in a new period which I like to think of as a delayed honeymoon phase. So I love what she said about each couple being different. Your first year may be rough like mine or great like Emily. It’s all each couple but as long as love remains for the other and it’s god centered, y’all will make it!

  • @cathy2142
    @cathy2142 6 років тому +26

    ? the first year of marriage was hard? not for us. we knew each other very well before hand and had such a great way of communicating that was established before we lived together and had to learn all those new things as a married couple. It was such a great time of discovery and respecting each others space while loving to have your best friend with you every day! I loved my first year of marriage!!!

    • @Estiexo
      @Estiexo 6 років тому +4

      Its different for everyone and that's ok. That's great that you had a good first year!

  • @annarodriguez1201
    @annarodriguez1201 6 років тому +4

    Wow!! I needed this exact video. Its like God asked you to help me. My bf and I are courting and are planning on marrying next year, Lord willing. I come from a broken home so I fear how our marriages will be. All the fears you mentioned have been replaying in my head. My bf is a God fearing man and I love how he is so into the faith. I really feel like God sent him to me. Our relationship is going great and I tell him I fear once we get married, all that will go away. But thank you so much Emily for calming my fears. All I have to do is trust God and we'll be alright 😊

  • @thatsfunny2051
    @thatsfunny2051 6 років тому +16

    My fears about marriage:
    • husband ends up being a secret porn addict (because I've heard men swear up and down that all men use porn)
    • husband sexually abuses our children
    • being abandoned for a younger model
    • husband thinks that my sister is prettier than me

  • @conchimartinez4716
    @conchimartinez4716 6 років тому +28

    1st commenttt!!!!!!! Yuhuuu😍
    Emily I loved this video 💘
    Could you make one talking about how you discerned your vocation (how you noticed that God was calling you to marriage and not to a convent)? +
    Did you prayed regularly for Daniel before you meet him (for "the future husband")?
    Thanks and kisses from Spain! you really inspire and encourage me as a women of faith 💘💘💘
    P.S.: please excuse my bad english 😂

    • @elisast97
      @elisast97 6 років тому +3

      Great!!! I wanted this too 😍

    • @treesajaison5033
      @treesajaison5033 6 років тому +3

      Even i wanted this

    • @emmir4980
      @emmir4980 6 років тому +4

      Conchi Martínez your English is great! 👍🏼

  • @marjanezzati3278
    @marjanezzati3278 6 років тому +5

    I love this. Your video came just in time. ‘Twas the night before, just last night, that I went back to a place in time where this strange and sudden realization hit me: “I don’t know everything in life. I don’t have degrees in psychology. My own human mind is a mystery. Did I really think it a possible thing to wing marriage with another who is also just winging it?” But the things you’ve said make way more sense. Thank you always, Emily Wilson. 🙏🏼🎉🕊

  • @kshelly17
    @kshelly17 6 років тому +6

    Thanks for your transparency!! You're so relatable

  • @maurawill51
    @maurawill51 6 років тому +7

    (Almost) Mama Emily droppin’ some truths today! Love you girly! Thank you for calming our fears 💕

  • @abbigailbaum6915
    @abbigailbaum6915 6 років тому +2

    As my mom says a closed mouth never gets fed. And in this sense communication is KEY. I feel like we sometimes forget that our significant other CANT read our minds and so we do let things build up. But that isn’t a mature thing to do and if you are still doing that you need to focus on yourself not be in a relationship or take a break for a minute and step back and analyze

  • @materamabilis3
    @materamabilis3 6 років тому +7

    You should make a video about your thoughts on UA-cam culture. I think it would be interesting to hear a Catholic’s perspective on UA-cam and youtubers, seeing that you are growing as a creator.
    Love this video!

  • @laurac4576
    @laurac4576 6 років тому +22

    As for the towel or sock thing - I just want to share that telling our husbands that something bothers us is a beautiful way of sharing our thoughts and desires. However, if it’s just in their personality, they likely can’t change that. We as wives need to get over it and pick it up for them in a loving and joyful way. Praise God we have towels and socks to pick up! Some people don’t even have those luxuries. 👍 just a thought for those who see this video and wonder why some things don’t change.

  • @miciyahgoode
    @miciyahgoode 6 років тому +8

    I needed this video. Thank you so much for posting it

  • @louisariggall7590
    @louisariggall7590 4 роки тому

    Hey Emily, I just found your channel a few days ago (a friend recommended your videos to me) and I am honestly feeling so grateful for the wonderful, encouraging content you upload. Thank you for helping me feel that as a woman I can both serve and be strong, for encouraging me to be loving and to understand that I deserve to be loved in return. Thank you for sharing truths that are sometimes hard to swallow, they are vital in today's society. God bless your precious family.

  • @ndindafaith4611
    @ndindafaith4611 5 років тому +2

    Lol at making casseroles😂😂 You're so funny but it's true!

  • @Nikki-ks6wi
    @Nikki-ks6wi 6 років тому +17

    omg just got married last week thank you for this video

  • @mishellecoa
    @mishellecoa 6 років тому +47

    Hi Emily! How did you know you were called to marriage?

    • @carissahamilton1853
      @carissahamilton1853 6 років тому +4

      Wowwwww!!!I finally found someone with th same spelling as my middle name!!mishelle!!!
      Sooo hello,fellow mishelle!😍🤣🤣🤣

    • @c.c6909
      @c.c6909 6 років тому +4

      I think you need to be close to God in your everyday life and pray and he will reveal what your vocation is someday. Also God speaks to people through their desires, so If you're 20+ and still long to be in marriage that's probably you're path

  • @chozie7
    @chozie7 6 років тому +4

    Emily,
    Thank you A MILLION TIMES THANK YOU for making these videos. I've been so encouraged and blessed them! I definitely have these fears right now as I am engaged and plan to be married sometime next year. I know the Lord is using you to provide so much encouragement and truth for women today! It is honestly so refreshing to see a Christian UA-camr who can remind women that marriage IS a good thing because God created it. Again, please keep doing these videos! Have a great day!
    - Marissa

  • @PaulaOliveirabc
    @PaulaOliveirabc 6 років тому +1

    Thanks for your videos and for sharing your experiences in marriage with us. I am a christian girl and a wheelchair user from Brazil and often times I am tempted to feel discouraged and afraid of never finding a man who loves me how I am or not being able to care for my husband and house and kids as a good wife should. People can be mean too and make you feel unworthy of a normal life. Do you have any advices? Also I'd like to ask you what mistakes did you make in marriage and what have you learned from them?

  • @maryfasho5608
    @maryfasho5608 6 років тому +4

    Your videos are always spot on! I’m getting married in February!!

  • @amybalu2626
    @amybalu2626 6 років тому +8

    I love your videos 😘 and wish you all the best with your marriage, health and baby

  • @LizTheFlyingDutchman
    @LizTheFlyingDutchman 6 років тому +1

    I moved out of my parents house when I was 17 to go study. And in two years (the year I'll get married) I will have lived on my own for 9 years, while my bf has lived with his parents. I can look forward to the time we live together and we no longer need to say goodbye at the end of the day. But sometimes I'm scared, because I'm so used to my house being my way and my time being my time. I'll learn and he will learn and we'll grow together, but sometimes the idea is a bit overwhelming.

  • @darylesese
    @darylesese 6 років тому +2

    This is crazy because my friend and I JUST had a conversation about this!

  • @jessicacarpenetti6479
    @jessicacarpenetti6479 6 років тому +10

    What do you think about the fears that we hold going into a new relationship? I just got out of a bad relationship and I have all these fears that everything that was wrong with it will happen again

  • @anewloveofficial9137
    @anewloveofficial9137 5 років тому +2

    I really enjoy this video and thank you for letting us know what are the great things about it marriage. This is very inspirational.

  • @destinybailey5537
    @destinybailey5537 6 років тому +4

    This was really encouraging.💕

  • @Chydova
    @Chydova 6 років тому +4

    My fear...or rather concern, never getting married Lol!

  • @GratiaPrima_
    @GratiaPrima_ 6 років тому +3

    I have a fear you might can talk about if you do this again! I’ve been married a few years now like you, and like with you guys it’s been great! BUT, as you said, no marriage doesn’t deal with harder times. My fear is what those might look like when we do hit our inevitable bumps in the road. Fear of the unknown, really.

  • @serenityj3222
    @serenityj3222 6 років тому +2

    The only thing that creeps me out about marriage is the decision itself because i don't know if I'm gonna regret it later maybe if i get married and after a period of time I feel like he's not the right person to be with I feel that talking about it before marriage is not enough because when we live it it's totally different

  • @JelenaKrnjic
    @JelenaKrnjic 6 років тому +4

    Loved this video, thank you for sharing this! :)

  • @samanthamarie6507
    @samanthamarie6507 6 років тому +1

    Thank you so much for sharing your views! God bless your ministry.

  • @brunaanfruns8970
    @brunaanfruns8970 6 років тому +3

    Thank you Emily!!!!❤️

  • @melan12027
    @melan12027 5 років тому +2

    I like you. You make a lot of sense. (soon to be married gal, hopefully, and asking myself a lot of questions about marriage)

  • @sibahlendlela8953
    @sibahlendlela8953 6 років тому +3

    Thank you so much Emily ♥. You are very inspirational.

  • @judypeters9075
    @judypeters9075 6 років тому +3

    So how do you communicate well? How do you start talking about the deep hard things?

  • @Jess90J
    @Jess90J 6 років тому +4

    Thank you! That's all I'm gonna say! God bless you 😘

  • @BELLAGENEVIEVE-i3b
    @BELLAGENEVIEVE-i3b 6 років тому +2

    Loved this! Praying for your little one. Could you maybe make a video about waiting for your future husband or being afraid you won't find him. love love love you. Jesus loves you. You are beautiful

  • @alana8582
    @alana8582 6 років тому

    Heey, it was the Same fears to me! Its really nice and confortable to hear this from you! Thanks for the video 😍😍

  • @pattinsonlove00
    @pattinsonlove00 6 років тому

    I’m honestly not religious at all but your videos are still very helpful! 💙🙏🏾

  • @abbigailbaum6915
    @abbigailbaum6915 6 років тому

    I think us women sometimes fear judgement and that’s why we feel the need to “ do things right “. Like becoming a mother you don’t wanna mess your kid up but as long as you give them a stable and loving home or homes how your kid acts once they move out wasn’t your fault. People make choices and even your child will make choices but as long as you teach your kids the importance of values and love them unconditionally there’s no such thing as messing them up

  • @Maria-dx6iq
    @Maria-dx6iq 6 років тому +1

    Love your videos! very helpful!! thank you for being you! I love your look on everything! thank you

  • @kshelly17
    @kshelly17 6 років тому

    Can we get a video on guidelines of topics that should be discussed before marriage please :D

  • @janettecomfort1793
    @janettecomfort1793 6 років тому +1

    A while ago I was told you had a clip on symptoms of mom or dad problems. I can't find it so I was wondering if I heard wrong. Can anyone help me?

  • @tomboysquirrel
    @tomboysquirrel 6 років тому

    I love your videos so much! You have so much wisdom. 💖

  • @Clauds71
    @Clauds71 6 років тому

    Fantastic advice, thanks 😀

  • @larafuad4658
    @larafuad4658 6 років тому

    Wooow loved the video

  • @janiejackson234
    @janiejackson234 6 років тому +2

    What are the essentials to talk about BEFORE marriage?

  • @crystalalmaraz3629
    @crystalalmaraz3629 6 років тому

    Thank you

  • @salvolondon
    @salvolondon 6 років тому

    Have You ever been worried that if you ever split up ( it can alway happen ) he may take your kids away from you , possibly in holland ( he is from holland right ? ) I've know it happened in the past and it totally destroyed many people lives .

    • @lizuchis0912
      @lizuchis0912 6 років тому

      Salvo Smith They‘re catholic, so they don‘t believe divorce is biblical. Basically, they will stay together no matter what

    • @cathy2142
      @cathy2142 6 років тому

      I would assume she is not planning a split. In my marriage with children we do have discussions of what we would want to do if we HAD to have an end to our marriage because we are planners. We only spoke of this once and we know it but it is not a concern. 15 years and we are moving and looking forward

  • @steph23589
    @steph23589 6 років тому