Highly empathetic people often get pulled into one-sided, manipulative or toxic relationships. INFJ's, ENTJ's and other styles are wired to care, to want to be of service and because of that, needy people just show up and dump on us. Learning boundaries, stepping into your power and embracing the assertiveness that kind of looks like tough love is required. Like I told a "friend" who grabbed as much air time as he could when we shared a meal, I felt uncomfortable holding up a mirror and said, "I want to be a good friend who listens and this feels imbalanced, like I'm not getting any time. You don't know me. And you don't seem to want to know me." He stopped and said, yikes, sorry. We adjusted. It feels better now. But often we need to walk away from those who won't adjust.
I'm glad things are better now. Often, people don't even realize their actions. But then, like you said, there are going to be the ones that just won't adjust, and those are the ones to let go of and move on. Thank you so much for sharing, I appreciate it.
As an Autistic- I have blind spots...and I have learned to observe my behavior with others. Can I be myself? What mask am I using? why? I can't read them in real time very well but I can reflect at the end of each day on interactions. Those reflections are key.
"I am not responsible for their healing" go hand in hand with "all the love in the world will not remove someone's free will." Sometimes it doesn't matter what you give someone, they will always have the choice to continue to hurt you, and some will.
I am so glad you addressed this. I'm the same! I got myself pregnant bc of my naivety! I'm almost 40 and he's such a scum bag. He's real good at lying. Anyways I'm so grateful you brought this up. So timely. Love you❤
I am sorry but I think you miss the point. There is no such gift, like superpower, it is just idealization, you try to see your partner with the same eyes you saw your caregiver. They were treating you bad, but you expected them to change, you worked for their love. That is sad, as you are reproducing the same pattern subconsciously. There is no INFJ personality, there is only childhood trauma, and the associated subconscious wiring. Finally, when you finally find a secure partner, you cannot believe he can give you love unconditionally, you freak and you disappear, as you feel unworthy of his love. All terribly sad.
Highly empathetic people often get pulled into one-sided, manipulative or toxic relationships. INFJ's, ENTJ's and other styles are wired to care, to want to be of service and because of that, needy people just show up and dump on us. Learning boundaries, stepping into your power and embracing the assertiveness that kind of looks like tough love is required. Like I told a "friend" who grabbed as much air time as he could when we shared a meal, I felt uncomfortable holding up a mirror and said, "I want to be a good friend who listens and this feels imbalanced, like I'm not getting any time. You don't know me. And you don't seem to want to know me." He stopped and said, yikes, sorry. We adjusted. It feels better now. But often we need to walk away from those who won't adjust.
I'm glad things are better now. Often, people don't even realize their actions. But then, like you said, there are going to be the ones that just won't adjust, and those are the ones to let go of and move on.
Thank you so much for sharing, I appreciate it.
As an Autistic- I have blind spots...and I have learned to observe my behavior with others. Can I be myself? What mask am I using? why? I can't read them in real time very well but I can reflect at the end of each day on interactions. Those reflections are key.
"I am not responsible for their healing" go hand in hand with "all the love in the world will not remove someone's free will." Sometimes it doesn't matter what you give someone, they will always have the choice to continue to hurt you, and some will.
Exactly, you are so very correct
I am so glad you addressed this. I'm the same! I got myself pregnant bc of my naivety! I'm almost 40 and he's such a scum bag. He's real good at lying. Anyways I'm so grateful you brought this up. So timely. Love you❤
Your welcome. I hope it was helpful. 🥰
Yup, the story of my life.
Oh and I love long videos of yours. The longer, the better. It's like hanging out with you ❤
Awe, 😊 thanks
What is a INFJ please?
It is 1 of the 16 personality types based on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
12:13 💯
I am sorry but I think you miss the point. There is no such gift, like superpower, it is just idealization, you try to see your partner with the same eyes you saw your caregiver. They were treating you bad, but you expected them to change, you worked for their love. That is sad, as you are reproducing the same pattern subconsciously. There is no INFJ personality, there is only childhood trauma, and the associated subconscious wiring. Finally, when you finally find a secure partner, you cannot believe he can give you love unconditionally, you freak and you disappear, as you feel unworthy of his love. All terribly sad.
I disagree with you I must admit.