I find that any relationship where one or both partners lose themselves in the relationship, even defining a large part of their life by being in a relationship, and don't grow together as individuals will not be healthy or last in the long-run.
The importance of being in a relationship and maintaining your individuality is NEVER touched on, and I’m so glad you mentioned it. Because even if you are in a relationship, you still have room to grow and evolve as a person, same with your partner. When you stunt that or avoid it, it will impact the relationship, especially if one of them DOES improve, and one stays the same.
Separate bank accounts and having back-up funds aren't a red flag to me in certain contexts. Abuse can happen at any time, even if you truly believe you know your partner. It's good to have separate accounts for your own personal things and a joint to run the household together, and if you need to escape, it's good to have the funds to do so safely.
Take many of these things with a grain of salt - they're often mentioned because of 1 or 2 bad experiences that the poster had, and since we don't have context, might not be what ended those relationships at all. This is a long comment. Different levels of attractiveness? I've seen the exact opposite of what that poster was saying, almost exclusively. In couples I've known where one was much more conventionally attractive than the other (and not because the less attractive partner had injury/illness/weight gain etc that changed their appearance), they've been FAR stronger than relationships between two people who were both quite hot. The more attractive of the 'mismatched' couples loved and appreciated their partners. They made them laugh, got along with them, supported them, they loved being around each other. Long engagements are one where.... your mileage may vary, and it usually boils down to 'why'd you get engaged in the first place?'. If the proposal came because they were getting badgered about it (by their partner or family), or because they were afraid their partner would leave them if they didn't, it likely won't last. Proposals made in desperation or duress aren't genuine. On the other hand, my partner and I got engaged because we DO plan on marrying legally, someday, but we're not stressed about it. We've been together 14 years, engaged 10. We're fully committed, and refer to each other as husband/wife even if we haven't legally done it, we're each others' emergency contacts, beneficiaries on our life insurances, named in our advanced directives. We'll cement it legally eventually, for the tax and legal reasons, but we don't feel any pressure to. We don't need a marriage license to tell us that we're committed. Also - separate beds, if it's because they sleep better, is not a red flag. You can be completely compatible personality wise, have the same goals, the same values, get along fantastically, and just not be able to sleep through the other person's snoring, or deal with them kicking or talking in their sleep. Your electronic devices being private is also not a red flag to me -- within reason. My partner does not get access to my phone or computer, and I don't access his. Going into them without permission/being requested to is a HUGE red flag for me, as I'm a VERY private person. It would be a giant breach of trust for me, and would likely result in breaking up, in fact. That said, we still know each others' passwords/pins. We CAN access, but we don't, and we're not 'allowed' to just... willy nilly. Just because we're in a relationship doesn't mean that we don't get privacy at all anymore. While yes, I think you do need to be 'best friends' with your partner, you don't spend 100% of your free time with your best friend prior to a relationship. You see other friends/family members/etc too. Saying it won't last if you look forward to spending a little time with just your friends and not your partner is.. a crock of crap. If you ONLY want to do that, and feel burdened by being with your partner, sure. But spending 100% of your non-working time with your partner and never having free time without them isn't healthy either and can lead to co-dependency, emotional exhaustion, and that poison that ruins any relationship, contempt. Spend quality time with your partner when you can, but you are a person OUTSIDE of your relationship, and other non-romantic relationships with friends and family are extremely important to your mental well being.
Exactly, context matters. People toss out red flags without thinking about individual situations. Separate beds? Fine if you want good sleep. Private devices? Healthy, as long as trust is there. Needing alone time? Completely normal, being glued together 24/7 isn’t. Relationships aren’t a one-size-fits-all.
I gotta say, as someone's who's becoming far more aware of how bad information off the internet can be, I appreciate someone who can think critically and actively, and also recognizes when to take information with a grain of salt.
Long distance doesn't matter that much. I met my girlfriend on GTA V on the PlayStation. She's from the UK, I'm from the Netherlands. We met up like twice a year, but called/played together almost every day. After 4 years, we moved in together and we are now 4 years further, still happy. She's my life partner. We share lots of interests, have also got different interests, and we support each other. Long distance isn't always bad. The chance that you find your life partner/soulmate like 3 or 4 streets away, let alone the same city, is very small. We have a saying in the Netherlands: "what you pick up far away, is good." This probably comes from back in the day with the spice trade, like getting pepper from the far east. That sometimes applies to partners as well.
Massive age differences (20ys+) even if they're on the same level in personality (big if) there's simply the fact they'll probably die alot earlier. If it's a gold digger and geriatric billionaire it's one thing, but genuine May December romances happen. They may love each other but they won't get grow old together.
When the bride to be said she wanted 2 weddings cuz the first one didn't have enough attendance. (This was during Covid) the second wedding (with another dress) less people showed up to that and they had to wedding cakes cuz they couldn't decide on the cake.
13:37 yup sounds like my NPD mother. Add in they’ll talk you ear off trying to convince you to do something with a perk in my life trying to nonstop convince me to get dragged down into not having any financial independence from her.
Story eight kinda feels bs and super subjective as to what "attractiveness" is. Society may be getting more vapid by the day but that doesn't mean everyone cares about looks
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but even so, people are far more likely to end up with people quite similar to them in the long-term. There's a reason why there's a trend in regards to guessing whether couples are siblings or not; people ending up with a very similar S.O is just so common.
The weird thing is even if it is entirely in the head it's still matters. It's a self perception thing. If one person is convinced they can do better and the other can't, they'll find someone to kiss their feet and treat them like a door mat. Even if the reverse is true by most standards of beauty.
@@joeyjojojrshabadoo7462 Very true, but I feel that says more about a personality than a blanket rule of “if one person’s much hotter than another, the relationship won’t last”
@@JBish0 Well we can argue about of objective social beauty standards actually exist or not, and their impact all day. It's a endless and boring debate. But if you feel like you're unattractive compared to your partner or your partner's on are trying to compare to you. It probably not going to last. Mutual physical attraction matters.
20:08 I fear having to sleep in the same room as another person. I have an awful snore and I wouldn't want to curse anyone with hearing it all night. I'm sure I have sleep apnea, but I'm single so... eh whatever.
I’m not done with the video but how has social media not come up? Overly public, lovey dovey, my partner is the most perfect being on the planet, look at our relationship 25/7 couples are the ones that have the LEAST loving relationship and will end up broken up sooner than later.
I find that any relationship where one or both partners lose themselves in the relationship, even defining a large part of their life by being in a relationship, and don't grow together as individuals will not be healthy or last in the long-run.
The importance of being in a relationship and maintaining your individuality is NEVER touched on, and I’m so glad you mentioned it.
Because even if you are in a relationship, you still have room to grow and evolve as a person, same with your partner.
When you stunt that or avoid it, it will impact the relationship, especially if one of them DOES improve, and one stays the same.
For sure. Losing yourself in the relationship just leads to resentment down the line. Staying individuals is key to making it last.
Separate bank accounts and having back-up funds aren't a red flag to me in certain contexts. Abuse can happen at any time, even if you truly believe you know your partner. It's good to have separate accounts for your own personal things and a joint to run the household together, and if you need to escape, it's good to have the funds to do so safely.
Take many of these things with a grain of salt - they're often mentioned because of 1 or 2 bad experiences that the poster had, and since we don't have context, might not be what ended those relationships at all. This is a long comment.
Different levels of attractiveness? I've seen the exact opposite of what that poster was saying, almost exclusively. In couples I've known where one was much more conventionally attractive than the other (and not because the less attractive partner had injury/illness/weight gain etc that changed their appearance), they've been FAR stronger than relationships between two people who were both quite hot. The more attractive of the 'mismatched' couples loved and appreciated their partners. They made them laugh, got along with them, supported them, they loved being around each other.
Long engagements are one where.... your mileage may vary, and it usually boils down to 'why'd you get engaged in the first place?'. If the proposal came because they were getting badgered about it (by their partner or family), or because they were afraid their partner would leave them if they didn't, it likely won't last. Proposals made in desperation or duress aren't genuine. On the other hand, my partner and I got engaged because we DO plan on marrying legally, someday, but we're not stressed about it. We've been together 14 years, engaged 10. We're fully committed, and refer to each other as husband/wife even if we haven't legally done it, we're each others' emergency contacts, beneficiaries on our life insurances, named in our advanced directives. We'll cement it legally eventually, for the tax and legal reasons, but we don't feel any pressure to. We don't need a marriage license to tell us that we're committed.
Also - separate beds, if it's because they sleep better, is not a red flag. You can be completely compatible personality wise, have the same goals, the same values, get along fantastically, and just not be able to sleep through the other person's snoring, or deal with them kicking or talking in their sleep.
Your electronic devices being private is also not a red flag to me -- within reason. My partner does not get access to my phone or computer, and I don't access his. Going into them without permission/being requested to is a HUGE red flag for me, as I'm a VERY private person. It would be a giant breach of trust for me, and would likely result in breaking up, in fact. That said, we still know each others' passwords/pins. We CAN access, but we don't, and we're not 'allowed' to just... willy nilly. Just because we're in a relationship doesn't mean that we don't get privacy at all anymore.
While yes, I think you do need to be 'best friends' with your partner, you don't spend 100% of your free time with your best friend prior to a relationship. You see other friends/family members/etc too. Saying it won't last if you look forward to spending a little time with just your friends and not your partner is.. a crock of crap. If you ONLY want to do that, and feel burdened by being with your partner, sure. But spending 100% of your non-working time with your partner and never having free time without them isn't healthy either and can lead to co-dependency, emotional exhaustion, and that poison that ruins any relationship, contempt. Spend quality time with your partner when you can, but you are a person OUTSIDE of your relationship, and other non-romantic relationships with friends and family are extremely important to your mental well being.
Exactly, context matters. People toss out red flags without thinking about individual situations. Separate beds? Fine if you want good sleep. Private devices? Healthy, as long as trust is there. Needing alone time? Completely normal, being glued together 24/7 isn’t. Relationships aren’t a one-size-fits-all.
I gotta say, as someone's who's becoming far more aware of how bad information off the internet can be, I appreciate someone who can think critically and actively, and also recognizes when to take information with a grain of salt.
Long distance doesn't matter that much. I met my girlfriend on GTA V on the PlayStation. She's from the UK, I'm from the Netherlands. We met up like twice a year, but called/played together almost every day. After 4 years, we moved in together and we are now 4 years further, still happy. She's my life partner. We share lots of interests, have also got different interests, and we support each other. Long distance isn't always bad. The chance that you find your life partner/soulmate like 3 or 4 streets away, let alone the same city, is very small. We have a saying in the Netherlands: "what you pick up far away, is good." This probably comes from back in the day with the spice trade, like getting pepper from the far east. That sometimes applies to partners as well.
Massive age differences (20ys+) even if they're on the same level in personality (big if) there's simply the fact they'll probably die alot earlier. If it's a gold digger and geriatric billionaire it's one thing, but genuine May December romances happen. They may love each other but they won't get grow old together.
When the bride to be said she wanted 2 weddings cuz the first one didn't have enough attendance. (This was during Covid) the second wedding (with another dress) less people showed up to that and they had to wedding cakes cuz they couldn't decide on the cake.
13:37 yup sounds like my NPD mother. Add in they’ll talk you ear off trying to convince you to do something with a perk in my life trying to nonstop convince me to get dragged down into not having any financial independence from her.
Story eight kinda feels bs and super subjective as to what "attractiveness" is. Society may be getting more vapid by the day but that doesn't mean everyone cares about looks
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but even so, people are far more likely to end up with people quite similar to them in the long-term. There's a reason why there's a trend in regards to guessing whether couples are siblings or not; people ending up with a very similar S.O is just so common.
The weird thing is even if it is entirely in the head it's still matters. It's a self perception thing. If one person is convinced they can do better and the other can't, they'll find someone to kiss their feet and treat them like a door mat. Even if the reverse is true by most standards of beauty.
@@joeyjojojrshabadoo7462 Very true, but I feel that says more about a personality than a blanket rule of “if one person’s much hotter than another, the relationship won’t last”
This sounds like coping, being a "good person" is also subjective but there are clear common rules that 99% of the population follows.
@@JBish0 Well we can argue about of objective social beauty standards actually exist or not, and their impact all day. It's a endless and boring debate. But if you feel like you're unattractive compared to your partner or your partner's on are trying to compare to you. It probably not going to last. Mutual physical attraction matters.
Story 2 she got skillz
20:08 I fear having to sleep in the same room as another person. I have an awful snore and I wouldn't want to curse anyone with hearing it all night. I'm sure I have sleep apnea, but I'm single so... eh whatever.
Yeah, Video games aren't productive yet she's scrolling through Facebook and TikTok for hours feeding drama
I’m not done with the video but how has social media not come up? Overly public, lovey dovey, my partner is the most perfect being on the planet, look at our relationship 25/7 couples are the ones that have the LEAST loving relationship and will end up broken up sooner than later.
I think that came up within like 5-10 minutes. Not sure why you commented so quickly
2:02 yup
12:41 sounds like my mother.
31:15, not all of our friends but most of my boyfriend's friends and my friends are friends.
0:41.. she’s a huge red flag
Story 27: Dammm…
5:00 the commentary on fighting is utter bullshit. Don't accept people who create fights.
Believing in gender roles. The world doesn't work like that anymore, particularly in places where both people have to work.
22:00 😳🫨😮
Zero views in 29 seconds bro fell off 😭🙏
yay 🤣
Bro actually fell off 8 minutes 70 views
bruh, im gonna cry
1 hour and 1200 views bro did fall off
video games are childish though
I can give you names of many franchises that are not kid friendly. It is another source of media that tells stories like books or movies and a hobby.
How?
Red flag here
We found the girl
Whether or not something is childish is subjective.
The key word is obsessive.
Here is the idea. DONT SIMP AND TAKE SHIT. WOMEN DONT LIKE THAT