HABIT 5 - SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD

Welcome back to the eBookWellnessClub. This video is about HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD as part of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R Covey.
Again, just a Quick Reminder of the 7 Habits:
Habit 1: Be Proactive
Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind
Habit 3: Put First Things First
Habit 4: Think Win-Win
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Habit 6: Synergize
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
Influence others by developing a deep understanding of their needs and perspectives.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” - DR. STEPHEN R. COVEY
Communicate effectively at all levels of the organization.
Communication is the most important skill in life. You spend years learning how to read and write, and years learning how to speak.
But what about listening? What training have you had that enables you to listen so you really, deeply understand another human being? Probably none, right?
“If I were to summarize in one sentence the single most important principle I have learned in the field of interpersonal relations, it would be this: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” - DR. STEPHEN R. COVEY
If you’re like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you’re listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely.
So why does this happen? Because most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. You listen to yourself as you prepare in your mind what you are going to say, the questions you are going to ask, etc.
You filter everything you hear through your life experiences, your frame of reference. You check what you hear against your autobiography and see how it measures up.
And consequently, you decide prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating. Now let's see if any of the following sounds familiar?
SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND
Because you so often listen autobiographically, you tend to respond in one of four ways:
Evaluating: You judge and then either agree or disagree.
Probing: You ask questions from your own frame of reference
Advising: You give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems
Interpreting: You analyze others’ motives and behaviors based on your own experiences.
You might be saying, “Hey, now wait a minute. I’m just trying to relate to the person by drawing on my own experiences. Is that so bad?”
In some situations, autobiographical responses may be appropriate, such as when another person specifically asks for help from your point of view or when there is already a very high level of trust in the relationship.
HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
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