I really appreciate the way you talk about postpartum weight loss. I found myself seriously overdoing it and didn’t even realize how obsessed I’d become with getting back in my pre-pregnancy jeans until my older daughter mentioned that I was always too busy working out to color with her. It really put things into perspective for me.
I started balling when you said “that’s not where your life starts.” I’m in that phase of my life right now and it’s really brought me into a deep depression. I needed to hear your message.
I didn’t get married until I was 35… now 45 and having the best last 2 years of my life despite COVID. Don’t wait, just keep going, it WILL get where it’s supposed to. Hugs 🤗
I’m sorry for your difficulties, Jessica. My mom died in labor with me so I never had kids, too scared. Got pregnant at 43, surprise of my life! Then miscarried and was beyond devastated! Now at 50 I’m with my high school sweetheart and I think about surrogacy. People think I’m nuts! But stay tuned!
I NEVER ask someone about pregnancy having had two miscarriages myself and have even been asked while knowing I was miscarrying and of course the person had no clue . Its way too personal of a question in my opinion .
Ugh yes. I've never been pregnant. But I've endometriosis. So the possibility of getting pregnant may be slim . Why is it anyone's business when or if you get pregnant. When did it become ok?
I’m so glad that you brought up the baby topic. The entitlement some people feel about asking such personal questions, blows me away. I am 26 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and will be 35 in August. The questions I get most frequently are why I waited so long, and if I’m “going to have another right after.” I can’t believe that we’ve come to a time in life that others feel comfortable asking things like this in open conversation. And as you mentioned, it’s NEVER those you are closest to that are asking. Sending you love, light, and baby dust!
Thank you SO much for addressing the baby issue. I feel you! So tired of politely shrugging it off, when I just want to scream “maybe I can’t! Have you considered that?!”
YES! It is so personal and all kinds of things could be going on behind the scenes that no one knows about. When people are ready to tell you, they will tell you.
I am tired of everyone I know either getting married or having kids. For a long time, that was all I wanted. I am slowly coming to accept that that may not happen for me. I am sick of answering questions about why I'm not dating and all that. I just don't want to talk about it anymore.
I was not able to have children and went through expensive fertility. BEST thing we ever did was adopt my son through The Children's Home Society of NC. He's 22 now. Doesn't look a thing like me. Handsome with his ginger hair and blue eyes but he's all mine. Has my personality. Bless his heart!! 😊Don't know how I could possibly love him more.
It took us years to finally get blessed with my daughter I actually was to the point of wanting to give up . So I understand how hard it is when people make comments without knowing ones struggle.
YES YES YES!!!!!! People ask me everyday.. I always say.. I have been trying for 6 years so you tell me when it’ll happen, because I have no idea!! It’s so frustrating!!
Conception is so very random. With one of our children we tried for over 7-1/2 years, with n cause being found. Finally conceived and after his birth, we chose to not to prevent another pregnancy since it had taken so long to conceive. We conceived twins immediately, having 3 baby boys in under a year. Do make sure your vitamin D levels are good. There has been evidence the past decade that people tend to conceive more easily during summer due to having higher vitamin D levels. I had conceived 6 times (including losses), and regardless when we started trying, I only conceived every one of those Jun-Aug, which my OB felt was too many times to be just coincidental. When she saw those studies, knowing we were trying again, she put me on vitamin D (I was very low like most are), and I conceived within 2 months, in the middle of the winter. I had a friend also trying, where they could see no medical cause, and when her doctor got her levels good, she conceived. May have been that or just coincidence, but just making sure vit D levels are good can't hurt, and benefits us in general. Hope you get your wish soon!
@@betsybabf748 thank you, I take about maybe 2000 miu or whatever the measurement is for vitamin D. But I’ll def look into it. I know I’m taking a prenatal with iron and zinc. I’m taking selenium, calcium pill and that’s it.
I was told by doctors that I was infertile at 19, got pregnant at 22 and went on to have 2 more kids after a few years of trying and trying. Don’t give up hope!!
Hi Jess! I have to tell you this...I am 20 years older than you and a 5th grade teacher. I have been watching your videos for several years because I find you so wise, well spoken, and well rounded. I share your same love for make up, travel, making a nice home, reading, and many other things. I enjoy having one person share their experiences about the same things I love. Thanks for your great videos!
I’m 37 now but when I was 30, I was newly single and laid off. I was faced with moving home. I decided to take a chance and sold everything I owned and moved 1400 miles away from home to a new state. I didn’t have a job here and I didn’t really know anyone here. I found a room for rent and lived there for 11 months while I found a job, got up on my feet and rented my first apartment. About eight months after I moved here I met my now husband. We’ve been together ever since. I just decided to take a chance. If I had gone by my expectations from my life when I was younger I would’ve been married and having my first baby at 28 instead I got married at 31 and had our first kid at 36. ❤️ everything happened just like it was supposed to.
I'm fond of a phrase, you can't fall behind on your own path. Also, yes! We should make asking about when people are having more kids taboo. We aren't having any more kids but wanted them so it's a painful subject so having random strangers or acquaintances ask is not great.
Honestly we should just stop asking people about having kids in general; it’s uncomfortable for those trying to have kids, those who have struggled in the past, those who don’t want kids, those who already have kids, those who can’t have kids, it’s just not a good time all around
So well said@@annikajohnson2100 👏👏👏 you just never know what someone is feeling and going through. It's a very personal path that is different for so many people. We don't need to make it more difficult by potentially triggering someone. I've received a variety of reactions when I respond with, "no more kids for us. She's the one and only love of our lives." It ranges from pity, prying for more information as to "why not", judgement to understanding. I'm all for genuine human connection but I'm but certain that's the reason behind the question, "when are you having more kids?"
Girl. That "When are you planning on having kids?" question gets on my everlasting nerve. I was never able to conceive. I'm the oldest of 3 sisters. Both of my sisters are fertile myrtles. My church was full of fertile myrtles. Having to graciously extend politeness when your heart breaks each time your asked. It got really old and it's been a struggle not to become bitter. I pray for people going through these struggles and also for the grace to be kind to those who trigger hurt. I will be 45 in a few months. I feel like the queen ant from A Bug's Life. "It's my lot in life. It's not alot but it's my life."
Your openness and vulnerability are refreshing. One of the things I have always appreciated about you is your authenticity. Another perspective of people and the never ending "when are you having babies" question, are the couples are not having them by choice. Still you hear, you'll change your mind. Children are a blessing. It's the greastest joy you'll ever have. You'd make such good parents... Etc. And while I think that's true and even sometimes feel guilty choosing not to do something some people want more than anything. My husband and I have always been on the same page about not having kids. But have heard all this for years from family, friends and co workers. I've been telling people we're on the cats not kids program. But at the of the day it's nobody's business when, why, how or if someone decides to start the family.
I'm so proud of y'all for respecting Gigi's privacy. As her parents, you are her voice and her protectors. There are so many horrible people out there hiding behind their screens. God bless y'all.
As an infertile woman - been blessed with three children via adoption - I am sorry people ask you about future children. I hated having people ask - to the point that they were almost annoyed we still had no children... It's not like we wanted to be infertile - that was the cross we had to carry. Praying for you guys. One more thing - I think it's excellent that you do not show your little one - it is a privacy and safety thing and I also do not share pics of our kids online. When they will be older, they can choose if they wish that I post pics of them. Glad to hear how you are doing! Keep safe and healthy!
You never ever have to tell us personal details but I just want to say I appreciate you saying you’ve been trying. I just lived through that season for a long time in silence and you only see pregnancy announcements, not the messy middle of trying and it can be so discouraging. You’re an inspiration to be authentic and vulnerable 💚
i've been "a certain kinda way" for a couple weeks now, and been binging on your videos. you're so comforting, down to earth, honestly like hanging with a friend. you've literally helped me through these past few days and i want to thank you for that. you've always been one of my top 3 youtubers, and i sure know why. thank you so much for all you do, for just continuing to come on here and share yourself with all of us. i'm emotional, empathic, and yes, i cry all the time too lol - so i feel so at home hanging with you. thanx again - sending love and light to you and yours, always.
I turned 39 this year, and your weight conversation hit home. I had hit a point where the 15lbs I gained during COVID wouldn’t come off. I was working out 6 days a week, and nothing. So I went back to the basics. I did a 21 day cleanse where you reset your body with whole food. It was HARD, but it was the best thing I’ve ever done for my body. I feel the best I’ve ever felt. You can’t work out during the cleanse, so my body got a break, and I lost 10lbs!!! I was more of a mental challenge than anything. I didn’t cheat a single time. I fueled my body with veggies, fruit, whole grains, and truly reset my system. No more headaches, better sleep, better mood, more energy. I learned that I’m happy doing yoga, and walking outside a few times a week. I was putting so much stress on myself and body to work out I was doing damage. I cut out refined sugar completely and don’t miss it at all! I have a glass of wine a couple times a week, and I don’t feel bad about it! All this to say, IF didn’t work for me, working out every day didn’t work. It was getting back to fueling my body properly. You have to live and be happy!
I discovered storyworth through you last year and gave it to my mom. She’s had so much fun talking about her parents (who passed in the 80’s) and our family history. I can’t thank you enough for recommending this and feel like it is something my children will someday cherish 💕
You hit the nail on the head with saying don't wait to start living. You never how long we have. My husband was diagnosed with ALS the day before he turned 40 and passed away just after he turned 43. Those 3 years were some of the best we had. We lived fully with intention every day. I still try to do that now to honor him.
I'm sorry for your loss. My husband passed just before turning 43. It's almost been 5 years. Our son was 10 and is now 15. I try to have your attitude but I find myself to be scared & have anxiety about everything. It's definitely been so hard on my son and it breaks my heart. They were best friends. People always ask if I will get remarried and even though I'm lonely I don't want to. I had my soul mate and I had my true love. Some people may never have that in life so I'm definitely grateful for that. God bless you
@@theresas2520 I'm so sorry for your loss too. It's so hard when you lose your spouse so young. That's not how life is supposed to go. But I'm grateful for every day I got with him. It'll be 7 years in September. There are many days that it's hard to have that attitude and I give myself the space to have bad days. As far as marrying again, I don't know if I ever will again either. I keep myself open to all love. Currently it's my family and friends and I'm good with that. Everyone's story is different.
Omg... I had to pause this because I could hardly hold it together listening about story worth, wishing so badly I had the opportunity to send something like this before my grandparents passed! I know with certainty that this is now going on the top of my gift giving list. Thank you so much for sharing about a company I had never heard of before and have never in my 48 years have heard of any other similar gift. This is priceless beyond words💜💜💜
Love what you said about people needing to stop asking about when you’re having kids. I’d scream it off the roof tops if I could! I’ve had a miscarriage, it took my sister 1.5 years to conceive, and I have dear friends who have tried for over a decade and have suffered so many miscarriages. It’s only people’s business if YOU choose to share. Also, when it comes to having MORE kids, people forget how hard little ones are - physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. Sometimes people need a break, and they don’t owe you an explanation for the myriad of reasons why they’re not ready or if they never want more. God bless you, and I’ll be praying for you guys!
Your advice on living life to the fullest no matter what season of life you are in is a freaking game changer. At the age of 40 I needed a liver transplant. Long story short, I received one, relatively quickly at that & I made a fantastic recovery but I look back at that time that I was sick & wish that I had lived my best life possible, even then. It wouldn’t have looked like life as I knew it at that point but heaven forbid I hadn’t made it through, my children would’ve had even less time to live life with their mama. As you said, all situations are different but now I view life (& living it) very, very differently. Thank you for being vulnerable & sharing parts of your story with us. I know that touched me greatly here & I hope that maybe my words can encourage someone else to live their best life possible as well 💙💚
I Needed to hear your answer about the "eating/exercising" question sooooo bad! I have struggled with this and your response finally made it all CLICK! I am 46, mother of 4 grandma of 1 and I have been killing myself to have the "perfect" workout/diet/body😪. I need to work harder to accept my body for what it is. I feel good physically but wasn't happy with how I looked. And everytime I'd eat something not so healthy...I would beat myself up for days. So Thank You! I am starting right now to love me for me and to enjoy life more!!💖
I love your overall vibe in this video! Motivational yet feisty in all the best ways. I didn’t know how much I needed this today - esp the part about friends growing apart. Thank you for your level-headed advice and for always being so open to how everyone is different and may not always take the same roads in life
As I’m watching this it’s my daughters fourth birthday and I bawled all night last night, all day today and all night tonight. And she’s not even an only child, she’s my third with a baby sister. My kids made me extra soft and emotional. Watching you tear up was so relatable.
Love this video! It’s so important to remember being married & having kids doesn’t equal success. It’s an amazing life event, but those don’t determine your worth or success ❤️
I never comment on videos, but thank you for mentioning how it can be hard when people ask about having kids (or having more kids). I had two miscarriages in 2020, and it’s been really tough. It’s so true that you never know what someone is going through, and even when people mean well, it can be hard to find the right thing to say!! 💜💜
Your perspective on life is so right! Sometimes I get afraid if I wait to have kids it will be harder but the thought of having one right now is terrifying in a way that would shake me to my core
Huge thanks and major respect for choosing to protect your daughter’s privacy. These kids in family vlogs have no say about their entire childhood being documented online for the world to see, as well as being targets for creeps. Wishing you all the best with your family!
Thank you for touching on the trying for a baby topic. As someone who struggled with infertility for many years, and adopted my beautiful son 7 years ago, the early years of infertility were HARD with all the questions and people who were not sensitive to the journey We were on. I feel like society has just taught us to ask these questions as conversation starters and that really needs to change! Thanks for being so open on this topic. ❤️
I think that a big contributor to the problem you discussed when answering the “waiting stages” in life question (feeling like you have to have kids because all your friends are having kids) is that for 18+ years (which is increasing with the almost necessity of going to college and grad school) we are put on a treadmill and constantly assessed based on how we are doing compared to our peers. Once school ends you feel a little lost because that comparison to other people that you have used for years and years to determine whether you are doing well in life is gone, so we grasp at whatever other examples we have for that, like friends and peers of a similar age. And ESPECIALLY with social media now the problem is even worse. It took me a long time to realize all of this and I completely agree with you that you just have to do what feels right to you in your life, but I think most people really don’t consider that when it’s been so engrained in us to compare ourselves to others.
This really got me. I think especially from the part that you talked about people being at a specific point in their life. I’m 32 as well, not married no kids and sometimes it really does feel like I’m waiting for my life to start. It’s hard to not look at the normal patters of life that people go through and not feel like I’ve failed in some way. But I really do believe that God puts us where we are supposed to be. Your reminder and passion behind that is super encouraging! Love your videos and super thankful for you! 😘
It took my hubby and I a year to get pregnant with our second child and it took one try for our first kiddo. I was getting so frustrated and so upset about it but God knew that I wouldn’t have survived a pandemic and lockdown and have a newborn at the same time, so instead he made me pregnant during lockdown and allowed me to be home with our first and get so much extra quality time that we would have never had otherwise! God is good and his timing is perfect! Praying for understanding for you and Tyler.
Yet again another video that shows how awesome of a human being you are! Thank you so much for sharing a bit about the "trying to conceive" process. It can be a lonely place. My husband and I have been trying since December, and it was a relief to hear from someone else in a similar boat. Baby dust to you ❤️.
I Love that you stand up to ppl shaming, so many ppl say, "I'm not like that!" And they really are. I also love that you are honest about having a baby. We grow humans and suffer that pain physically AND emotionally and psychologically. And it's TRUE there's no poo poo'ing that.
Again, THANK YOU❣️❣️❣️ You give me SO MUCH comfort! You make it seem like your talking Directly to me! I have said this for years. You have helped me through the HARDEST Part of my life when I lost my Dad unexpectedly and you guys always put a smile on my face. And I can't thank you enough for that❣️
As someone who lost my parents at a fairly young age (my dad was 46 and my mom 52), I promise that having a book like this would mean everything to me when I miss them extra bad and try to teach my kids about them. You just never know what life is going to throw at you.
I really needed to hear what you had to say about one-sided friendships. I do agree, we need to normalize drifting apart and not think it's something negative. Also, yes 1000000 times yes. Stop asking people about thier body! If they want to tell you they are trying or currently are pregnant, they will tell you!!!
Thank you for mentioning the part about asking about kids. My husband and I are trying as well, and people ask all the time. Every month, when it doesn't happen is rough, and being asked all the time isn't helping. Thank you for telling people not to ask! 💕
Thanks for being vulnerable. We have been struggling with fertility, married for 6 years, and haven't been able to carry a pregnancy into the second trimester yet. The questions are painful, but I am starting to accept that people just love me, want to share in my life and my joy. But it makes me think about how we don't share in each other's heartache enough. Why AREN'T we more open about fertility?? It's so so so common, yet we struggle in silence. You're strong. From personal experience, longer than 6 months it's okay to seek help ♥️ but know that you're in my prayers, it's hard you're amazing
This really resonated with me. We tried IVF twice. Miscarried twice. Then still had people (even family) say or do things to intentionally make me feel bad. It took me soooo long to accept my path in life couldn’t easily be what I wanted it to be. Sadly, it has ruined relationships with some people, but eventually I realized being mother or not being a mother didn’t have to define me. I spent so much time and money on trying something that wasn’t going to be. Now, my husband and I focus on opportunities we can consider and be our happiest selves. We are talking about buying a beach vacation house and possible early retirement. Things that would likely not happened if we had children. It’s not what I had in mind, or what other people apparently think of as the right path in life, but we are happy and taking control of life the best we can! Good luck to you!
These are my favourite videos of yours!!! You are so beautifully genuine and kind. You produce my favourite lifestyle/makeup content on YT, and your vlogs/chit chats always encourage, uplift, and bring truth. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your life.
Thank you for saying that about people giving their opinions about motherhood/birth. My son is 3 weeks old, and it’s so true. New moms need support, not unsolicited advice and opinions 💖
Jessica, thanks for sharing your experience on having a second child. I’m actually going through the same thing...I have an almost 4 year old and we have been trying for a second since September.. Just the other day we were at my in-laws and it was brought up that my son needed a sibling (he is the only grandchild) they of course did NOT know we have been trying but it made my heart sink because of the effort we have been doing and it’s not paying off... Thank you for being honest, it’s nice to know I’m not in this alone 💕
There's seven years between me and my younger sibling, my parents got a diagnosis of "unexplained infertility" five or six years in. Helpful! But then a year later it happened. Don't give up hope ❤️ But if you don't keep trying that's okay too, your son will get to have your undivided attention and I'm sure he'll love that! You can only put your body (and your poor heart!) through so much.
“Let me have my experience.” YES! ❤️ Within the past year, I have gotten married and bought my first home. I couldn’t even fully enjoy the experience of my wedding & getting married because of naysayers and know it all’s and people who wanted to have their choices in what we were paying for... Never again! Lol. Have your experience.❤️
I couldn't enjoy mine either. It was just so busy that we couldn't enjoy the moments. I was also worrying about the families merging and that everyone would get along that day. Too stressful that I completely understand when people elope instead.
I like to think that having a terrible experience with my wedding prepared me for expanding our family. I will NOT let people tell me how I should be having this experience! I don't think I would've had that perspective if I had the picture perfect wedding.
I didn't enjoy mine either, Mom in-law and her friend ran the show. Of course I was younger and didn't have my voice. Never again, once you have your voice there's no settling or trying to please everyone but yourself.......life is too short to live by someone else's rules. I trust myself, it took many years but it feels wonderful!
I’m so glad you brought up the issue with asking people about future babies. My husband and I have been trying for two years now unsuccessfully, I finally had to tell my mom to stop asking me because it hurts my heart. I wish more people would understand that no matter how curious they might be there is always a chance that there are things they don’t know and it’s not always everyone’s business.
UGH Jessica! I love your videos and you. I’m a big UA-cam watcher but lately it’s kind of hard to relate to people or feel the genuine energy. Every time I watch your videos, I feel like I’m listening to a big sister. Thank you for being so transparent about your experiences and thank you for all the advice in this video. I’m 26 and never been in love or have had a relationship… sometimes I find myself singing “When Will My Life Begin” but you are so right! I’m stopping that right now, I have so much going for myself and I need to be grateful for how far I’ve come.
I am so happy that you talked about “trying”. Me and my husband have been trying for a year and 7 months and are treating with a fertility doctor. I know people outside of our immediate family does not have ill intentions about asking when we are having a baby, but it hurts sometimes. Thanks for speaking on it because many don’t.
Three was the hardest little kid age with my kids. My daughter went from sitting in my lap, whispering sweet nothings, to throwing her leg over a tiny Harley, rolling her cigarettes up in her sleeve, and being all, “how do you like me now?” And yes, both my husband and I have felt those twinges of hurt or jealousy when one of them goes through those stages of preferring one parent. But now that they are teenagers, seeing the relationship my daughter has with my husband is a huge source of joy to me. Girls need their daddy’s, so it’s a blessing.
Thank you for mentioning the subject of trying for kids. It’s so hard to answer that question to random people when you are trying or are going through infertility. It’s very uncomfortable and I think people definitely need to think before they speak and be more sensitive to that subject.
I wasn’t able to have children and nobody could tell me why so this hit home for me….BUT maybe we should start turning the tables on these ppl and making THEM feel uncomfortable and awkward for a change. “Oh when you are gonna start trying to start a family??!” “Well, Trisha, I had sex with my husband 25 out of 30 nights last month and NOTHING. We did it missionary, reverse cowgirl, doggy style..YOU NAME IT. NOTHING! Do you have any suggestions?”
@@AmandaLeighS Yep I’m actually just very honest about it now but it definitely bothered me when it was still new to me and I didn’t have time to process what I was going through for myself. Now I just say well we are hoping soon but we are struggling to conceive.
I think you should answer back with honesty. If society is ever going to accept that women aren't all fertile and that loss or infertility is VERY common then it needs to be said. Not skirted away from like it has for generations because it's "taboo" to not be fertile or some B.S. .I proudly say when asked why the gap in my children: " I had 3 miscarriages between the two". It's common, it's real, it's not shameful to the woman and I'm gonna stop treating it as if I shouldn't talk about it.
You teach me so many things Jessica. This video, this is why i'm subscribed to you and keep coming back for every videos. I just love your personality🥰
You are seriously one of my favorite youtubers. You look like someone that is so easy to Be friends with and ur vids r so interesting :) I really enjoy this type of vids
Thank you for all that you said concerning having children. I don't even think people realize how rude they are being (and hurtful.) It was a wonderful reminder for all of us to be more sensitive towards others.❤️
I am so glad you addressed the “when are you having a baby” question and advised people to knock it off. I am past those years, but my two young married daughters get that all the time and it annoys them so much. I will never understand why people think another couple's reproductive plans are anyone else's concern at all. I have never, and never will ever ask someone that, and if I ever slip and DO ask, I sincerely hope they tell me bluntly that is absolutely none of my business!
We gave storyworth to our grandparents last Christmas and we’ve been LOVING it so far! The questions are awesome and the stories have been incredible :)
I have a lot of family in Finland and we visited for 2 weeks in 2018 - it was AMAZING. We brought our daughter who was 22 months at the time. I cannot recommend visiting enough!
im from norway and i have a lot of ancestors in america. if you visit norway you and tyler must see the fjords, the mountains and lakes are beautifull. love your videos, they are a must see when you post them. ive gotten so much good recommandations and good purchasings from you. hope you and your family is doing well, stay safe. thanks for your honesty its so important .
Been trying since Nov 2018. Took a break most of 2020 but wasn't "preventing" it we just weren't doing ovulation tests, tracking every time etc. Thanks for being honest. for the first year I didn't tell my mom because I wanted to surprise her, but the one year mark broke me down so bad I called her and told her my struggles. (Everyone) Please don't be afraid to be honest with your closest family members when TTC. They will support you. You don't have to go through this alone
Such a good point to make about the things people will say to women who are pregnant. I don’t have kids yet but I can imagine the “small” feeling those comments would give an expecting mother. People need to lift each other up!
I really appreciate you being honest and open that you and Tyler have been trying. My husband and I have been struggling with infertility for two years now, and it's been the hardest thing in my life. I agree that it is so personal, and it isn't something people should ask about, but I also wish there was more information out there. I wish people didn't assume things. Not everyone wants children, some want to adopt and/or foster, and others want desperately to have children but struggle. 1 in 4 women have had a miscarriage, and 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility. It's also normal for couples to have to try for awhile before conceiving. I'm hopeful that people will become more mindful over time.
Thanks for being so open about everything. With the baby thing, even a change of wording can make all the difference. Asking IF they want a child/children is always a better option, but like you said Jess, stop asking people because you dont know what they are going through.
As a mom of two kids that are turning 7 and 9, yes our kids have swung back and forth between mommy and daddy phases. My perspective when my kids are going through a daddy phase is that I’m so incredibly grateful that my kids have a daddy they are so close to and they love to be with. Not something every kid (or adult) can say 💕
i love how you mentioned about the friendship thing. me and my best friend, we’ve been friends since we were 3 and she moved to Cali for 4 years and we lost touch. she’s home now and we are closer than ever! sometimes life really does get in the way, but if it’s a good and strong friendship then it will come back around ❤️
Love this video🙌 I had my son when I was 42. I found myself explaining my story....I just finally made peace with the fact I was blessed with a baby and it didn't matter how old I was when my dream came true.💜
This video was so comforting. I feel like I don’t know the proper words to express this lol but I love how rational and sensible you are. I wished more people thought like you. As someone in my late 30s who is single and childless, I love that part about not waiting to live your life. I feel like people around me feel bad for me and perhaps think that my life is incomplete. If they only knew that I am the most comfortable and at peace with myself that I’ve ever been. Did I used to imagine myself with a family of my own? Yes I did. But I have accepted the fact that that is not where my life went and I am not looking nor waiting. I do the things that I love, and I spend my time doing what makes me happy and I am grateful for my peace of mind every day.
I haven’t finished the video yet, but I just wanted to say before I forget - I SO appreciate you and your approach to food and working out. It has seriously helped me so much this past year as I gained quarantine weight and now am trying to lose some. Knowing that I can have a health relationship with food (bc I LOVE food) and not completely restrict myself from foods that I love has helped so much. Thank you for being genuinely you ❤️
I love you even more for expressing how being asked “when’s number #2” makes you feel. I’m going through the same and it just gets tiring to hear all the time. Thank you for bringing light to this and wishing the best for you on your fertility journey.
So true! I can totally relate to the daddy's girl thing and the pregnancy thing. My husband and I have been trying for 10 years now and it's so heartbreaking when you are constantly reminded about the struggles of infertility.
Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. And encouraging everyone to be on their own journey and to not let others Shame them or feel obligated to answer other’s invasive questions along their journey at any point in time. 🌟
Thank you so much for letting me know about Storyworth. I’ve been wanting my dad to write down stories for me but so far haven’t been able to get him to do it. Hopefully, the emailed questions and it becoming an actual book will make that happen. It’s the perfect Father’s Day gift. ❤️
So much yes on not asking people about their timeline for having kids! On a similar topic…as someone in their late thirties who has been dating their significant other for several years, I’m also tired of being asked about when I’m getting married-I don’t feel that it’s anyone’s business. I’m happy and that should be what matters!
I am also 32 with a 3-year-old. I always thought I would have my kids 2 years apart so that they would be close. My husband and I tried for over a year, and my guilt would just build that my son wasn't going to have a sibling close in age. My sister would constantly ask when we were having kids and tell me they wouldn't be close in age until she said, "If you're infertile, just tell me and I'll stop asking." Because I know her, I know she didn't mean that to come across as rude as it did, but it still hurt, and isn't something I wanted to say out loud! I finally found out 2 weeks ago that I'm pregnant, but it's hard not to be terrified I'll have a miscarriage or something after it took so long to get pregnant. I know everything happens for a reason, but that doesn't always make it easier. All the best to you guys in your family journey!
Thank you for talking about difficult discussions about growing your family. I’m 35 and have a three year old. We’ve been trying to conceive for over a year now and had a miscarriage in January. I get so tired of being badgered about “time for another kid” comments from people who have no idea the difficulty and heartache we’ve been through in the last year.
I couldn't agree more with you!!!! Ah! Asking people when they're getting married, having a baby, having another baby, or if they're pregnant should all never be asked! I always find it so strange that the people who know us the least ask that the most! Thanks for being so vulnerable. I always love watching your videos! I wish we were neighbors so we could sip on some coffee (or wine) on the porch, eat rice krispies treats, and chat and giggle about life! Hugs from California!
That’s so true. You never know what people are going through. I wish you the best of luck. My brother and his wife recently went through the same- but they were trying for their first. And they were close to looking into fertility treatments and then got the best surprise. So sometimes it takes a bit. Sometimes fertility treatments help. But regardless - don’t feel the need to share. And just slowly learn to tone out those that can’t help but ask again and again. Good luck!
Love everything you said in this video. I’m so glad you use your little corner of the internet to bring this stuff up once in a while and you don’t shy away from it. Thanks for that. You’re doing a good thing 🥰
When jessica says “does that make sense?” And I’m over here nodding being like “that makes ALL THE SENSE AND I FEEL IT IN MY BONES”. Thanks for the chat Jessica. As a mom of a 2 year old, this was so relatable. Thank you
I am glad you talked about waiting. I am 24 and my friends are in relationships and getting married. I used to want to be in a relationship so badly, but over the last year or two, I’ve really accepted where I’m at in my life. I am so content being my own person right now, and personally, I wouldn’t have the time for a relationship. I work full time and am getting my masters degree. I think everyone just has to come to that point where you realize you are your own person and you don’t have to wait for another person to come into your life to start living ❤️ Also, in regards to the one sided friendship, it is totally ok to let them go. Friendships change. I’ve personally cut a couple of friendships because they were drama filled individuals, and letting them go gave me so much peace.
Thank you for being so open. I have a feeling many viewers will be so touched and inspired by what you shared today. God Bless you guys and Happy Belated Birthday to sweet GiGi 😘💋
OH MY JEFF! 18:00. just bookmarking this to re watch and also show husband. I’m going through these exact emotions with my nearly 3 year old right now. He is so attached to Daddy. My boy is also adopted from 10 months old so the amount of doubt in my head is hideous. Thank you 🙏 thank you thank you for sharing. I needed to hear this!!!! I feel you sister xxxx
Also 29:50 we soon shut people up when we told them we were adopting due to fertility issues. However, we are now being asked if we are going to adopt again. It just never ends! !
Honestly as much as I love your content and how much I often feel like you are one of my friends. I recently in the past couple of months have felt kind of a disconnect from your videos. I still watch and I still adore you, but just really felt disconnected. This video feels so real and gives me all the good feels I normally have when I watch one of your videos. It’s ok to grow in a different direction than the youtubers you watch, but I’m really glad I’m not going in a complete different path than your videos. I really enjoy having your content in my life.
After I had a baby here in the UK, I showered and then put on a minimal amount of makeup- concealer lip balm and brows and some of the nurses looked at me like I am crazy and vain 🤔🤣but honestly I was a complete mess in labour that I wanted to be just a little fresh and put together 🙄
Yes!! I showered and then dried my hair (it’s crazy curly and takes forever to dry) and the nurses thought I was crazy! Excuse me for just pushing a human out and only wanting clean, dry hair 😝💕
It shouldn't be such a crazy thing. It's normal to care for yourself and if you feel better with a bit of makeup on, that's perfectly fine. Those nurses should just focus on doing their jobs instead of throwing judgemental looks. So much for being professional.
I've never had a baby but washing my face and putting on makeup after I had my gallbladder out felt so amazing and so important, so I can only imagine that is multiplied tenfold post-partum!
@@Rose-jz6sx Me too. Haven't had a baby, but after major surgery, that first shower where I washed my hair and did my complete skin care routine was like heaven!
I dropped my phone in my water when you said that you wanted to go to Sweden. Girl, there is SO much I want to show you! /swede 🇸🇪 This coffee chat was so heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. You're so incredible💞
You hit so many truths in this one ❤ I have friends struggling with fertility and it's like an actual punch in the gut when I hear others asking them when they'll have children. I can't even imagine how they feel.
Jessica, thank you so so much for sharing that you have been trying to have another baby for awhile now. I have been trying forever our first baby since October as well. I feel very alone as all of my friends and family got pregnant in a month or two and I feel very isolated and am tired of answering questions too! I agree it’s so Frustrating answering the questions when we actually have been trying a while not knowing if anything is wrong yet. I wish others would be more vocal about their ttc journey as I know most don’t actually get pregnant in a month or two. Also, I have never commented before, but wanted to tell you that I absolutely love your videos! You are the only UA-camr I will literally watch anything you post! I am an Indiana girl who is also obsessed with Disney and I absolutely appreciate all of the make-up, Disney, and lifestyle videos you post as everything is so me. Thanks for being you, you are amazing:)
Really enjoyed your video today. I am 71 and my husband and I were not able to have children. However you do not have to have been a parent to recognize the importance of raising children with consequences for their actions. That should be the golden rule of parenting and appreciate your verbalizing it. Also rise crispy treats are my favorite treat. For that very reason I only make them about once a year as they slide down way to easily. and suddenly the pan is half empty. 😊
As a kid, I remember listening to my mom and aunts and sister in laws talking about the trials and tribulations of what happens about having a child, childbirth, and that alone gave me much reservation and hesitancy to have a child. The audacity of people asking questions (or touching you or your stomach without permission is also soooo creepy) because they honestly have nothing civil to say -- how about just say a genuinely happy "congratulations!" and asking if they need anything without judging or commenting (not volunteering what they "should" need or making a critique about what they say they need) would be wonderful -- and leaving it at that and moving on to a new conversation. Manners, people.
Thank you for the gift recommendation. I lost my dad 10 years ago and I've been wanting a better way to remember him so that my son gets to meet him too. I love your genuine personality
LOVE your perspective on the baby question. We’ve been asked so many times and while I DREAM of having kids, we have reasons why we don’t right not and honestly it’s a painful decision for us both. And I feel like no one needs to know our timeline because if in a year from now it doesn’t happen (for whatever reason) people will hold us accountable.. as if it’s any of their authority or business when/ how many children we have. My other friends and I rant about it all the time!
OMG!!! When I had my son i packed a travel makeup bag and I felt the SAME EXACT WAY!!! With both of my kids I had C-sections so I was in the hospital for 3 days with both and being able to shower, put on a little bit of makeup and a beautiful fragrance for those 3 days was the best thing that I could have done for myself. It made me feel so much better and it brought me a sense of normalcy!
I really appreciate the way you talk about postpartum weight loss. I found myself seriously overdoing it and didn’t even realize how obsessed I’d become with getting back in my pre-pregnancy jeans until my older daughter mentioned that I was always too busy working out to color with her. It really put things into perspective for me.
I started balling when you said “that’s not where your life starts.” I’m in that phase of my life right now and it’s really brought me into a deep depression. I needed to hear your message.
I didn’t get married until I was 35… now 45 and having the best last 2 years of my life despite COVID. Don’t wait, just keep going, it WILL get where it’s supposed to. Hugs 🤗
@@meghanwalker8865 ❤️
I’m sorry for your difficulties, Jessica. My mom died in labor with me so I never had kids, too scared. Got pregnant at 43, surprise of my life! Then miscarried and was beyond devastated! Now at 50 I’m with my high school sweetheart and I think about surrogacy. People think I’m nuts! But stay tuned!
I NEVER ask someone about pregnancy having had two miscarriages myself and have even been asked while knowing I was miscarrying and of course the person had no clue . Its way too personal of a question in my opinion .
Ugh yes. I've never been pregnant. But I've endometriosis. So the possibility of getting pregnant may be slim .
Why is it anyone's business when or if you get pregnant. When did it become ok?
I wholeheartedly agree! I’ve also been asked while miscarrying and I almost went off.
I’m so glad that you brought up the baby topic. The entitlement some people feel about asking such personal questions, blows me away. I am 26 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and will be 35 in August. The questions I get most frequently are why I waited so long, and if I’m “going to have another right after.” I can’t believe that we’ve come to a time in life that others feel comfortable asking things like this in open conversation. And as you mentioned, it’s NEVER those you are closest to that are asking. Sending you love, light, and baby dust!
Thank you SO much for addressing the baby issue. I feel you! So tired of politely shrugging it off, when I just want to scream “maybe I can’t! Have you considered that?!”
YES! It is so personal and all kinds of things could be going on behind the scenes that no one knows about. When people are ready to tell you, they will tell you.
I am tired of everyone I know either getting married or having kids. For a long time, that was all I wanted. I am slowly coming to accept that that may not happen for me. I am sick of answering questions about why I'm not dating and all that. I just don't want to talk about it anymore.
I was not able to have children and went through expensive fertility. BEST thing we ever did was adopt my son through The Children's Home Society of NC. He's 22 now. Doesn't look a thing like me. Handsome with his ginger hair and blue eyes but he's all mine. Has my personality. Bless his heart!! 😊Don't know how I could possibly love him more.
💜💜💜
It took us years to finally get blessed with my daughter I actually was to the point of wanting to give up . So I understand how hard it is when people make comments without knowing ones struggle.
YES YES YES!!!!!! People ask me everyday.. I always say.. I have been trying for 6 years so you tell me when it’ll happen, because I have no idea!! It’s so frustrating!!
I feel your pain girl 🥺😭 I’ve been trying for 5 or so years. It doesn’t get any easier and mentally I’m just done with it all
Conception is so very random. With one of our children we tried for over 7-1/2 years, with n cause being found. Finally conceived and after his birth, we chose to not to prevent another pregnancy since it had taken so long to conceive. We conceived twins immediately, having 3 baby boys in under a year. Do make sure your vitamin D levels are good. There has been evidence the past decade that people tend to conceive more easily during summer due to having higher vitamin D levels. I had conceived 6 times (including losses), and regardless when we started trying, I only conceived every one of those Jun-Aug, which my OB felt was too many times to be just coincidental. When she saw those studies, knowing we were trying again, she put me on vitamin D (I was very low like most are), and I conceived within 2 months, in the middle of the winter. I had a friend also trying, where they could see no medical cause, and when her doctor got her levels good, she conceived. May have been that or just coincidence, but just making sure vit D levels are good can't hurt, and benefits us in general. Hope you get your wish soon!
@@betsybabf748 thank you, I take about maybe 2000 miu or whatever the measurement is for vitamin D. But I’ll def look into it. I know I’m taking a prenatal with iron and zinc. I’m taking selenium, calcium pill and that’s it.
I was told by doctors that I was infertile at 19, got pregnant at 22 and went on to have 2 more kids after a few years of trying and trying. Don’t give up hope!!
Hi Jess! I have to tell you this...I am 20 years older than you and a 5th grade teacher. I have been watching your videos for several years because I find you so wise, well spoken, and well rounded. I share your same love for make up, travel, making a nice home, reading, and many other things. I enjoy having one person share their experiences about the same things I love. Thanks for your great videos!
I’m 37 now but when I was 30, I was newly single and laid off. I was faced with moving home. I decided to take a chance and sold everything I owned and moved 1400 miles away from home to a new state. I didn’t have a job here and I didn’t really know anyone here. I found a room for rent and lived there for 11 months while I found a job, got up on my feet and rented my first apartment. About eight months after I moved here I met my now husband. We’ve been together ever since. I just decided to take a chance. If I had gone by my expectations from my life when I was younger I would’ve been married and having my first baby at 28 instead I got married at 31 and had our first kid at 36. ❤️ everything happened just like it was supposed to.
I'm fond of a phrase, you can't fall behind on your own path. Also, yes! We should make asking about when people are having more kids taboo. We aren't having any more kids but wanted them so it's a painful subject so having random strangers or acquaintances ask is not great.
Honestly we should just stop asking people about having kids in general; it’s uncomfortable for those trying to have kids, those who have struggled in the past, those who don’t want kids, those who already have kids, those who can’t have kids, it’s just not a good time all around
@@annikajohnson2100 I completely agree!!
So well said@@annikajohnson2100 👏👏👏 you just never know what someone is feeling and going through. It's a very personal path that is different for so many people. We don't need to make it more difficult by potentially triggering someone. I've received a variety of reactions when I respond with, "no more kids for us. She's the one and only love of our lives." It ranges from pity, prying for more information as to "why not", judgement to understanding. I'm all for genuine human connection but I'm but certain that's the reason behind the question, "when are you having more kids?"
Love that phrase
Girl. That "When are you planning on having kids?" question gets on my everlasting nerve. I was never able to conceive. I'm the oldest of 3 sisters. Both of my sisters are fertile myrtles. My church was full of fertile myrtles. Having to graciously extend politeness when your heart breaks each time your asked. It got really old and it's been a struggle not to become bitter. I pray for people going through these struggles and also for the grace to be kind to those who trigger hurt. I will be 45 in a few months.
I feel like the queen ant from A Bug's Life. "It's my lot in life. It's not alot but it's my life."
Your openness and vulnerability are refreshing. One of the things I have always appreciated about you is your authenticity. Another perspective of people and the never ending "when are you having babies" question, are the couples are not having them by choice. Still you hear, you'll change your mind. Children are a blessing. It's the greastest joy you'll ever have. You'd make such good parents... Etc. And while I think that's true and even sometimes feel guilty choosing not to do something some people want more than anything. My husband and I have always been on the same page about not having kids. But have heard all this for years from family, friends and co workers. I've been telling people we're on the cats not kids program. But at the of the day it's nobody's business when, why, how or if someone decides to start the family.
I'm so proud of y'all for respecting Gigi's privacy. As her parents, you are her voice and her protectors. There are so many horrible people out there hiding behind their screens. God bless y'all.
As an infertile woman - been blessed with three children via adoption - I am sorry people ask you about future children. I hated having people ask - to the point that they were almost annoyed we still had no children... It's not like we wanted to be infertile - that was the cross we had to carry. Praying for you guys. One more thing - I think it's excellent that you do not show your little one - it is a privacy and safety thing and I also do not share pics of our kids online. When they will be older, they can choose if they wish that I post pics of them. Glad to hear how you are doing! Keep safe and healthy!
I'm a mom of three adopted kids too, but adoption was our plan A, turns out we are also infertile....who knew (God!)
You never ever have to tell us personal details but I just want to say I appreciate you saying you’ve been trying. I just lived through that season for a long time in silence and you only see pregnancy announcements, not the messy middle of trying and it can be so discouraging. You’re an inspiration to be authentic and vulnerable 💚
i've been "a certain kinda way" for a couple weeks now, and been binging on your videos. you're so comforting, down to earth, honestly like hanging with a friend. you've literally helped me through these past few days and i want to thank you for that. you've always been one of my top 3 youtubers, and i sure know why. thank you so much for all you do, for just continuing to come on here and share yourself with all of us. i'm emotional, empathic, and yes, i cry all the time too lol - so i feel so at home hanging with you. thanx again - sending love and light to you and yours, always.
"O .. I'm emotional all the time!"... 😅😅 Same. Same girlfriend.
And that is okay!
I blame the ice coffee 😩♥️🥴🤷♀️
We always have to have it in every video 🤣🤪
Me too girl me too
@@virgismar is so good 😊😊 just asked if I was like like 👍🏻
I turned 39 this year, and your weight conversation hit home. I had hit a point where the 15lbs I gained during COVID wouldn’t come off. I was working out 6 days a week, and nothing. So I went back to the basics. I did a 21 day cleanse where you reset your body with whole food. It was HARD, but it was the best thing I’ve ever done for my body. I feel the best I’ve ever felt. You can’t work out during the cleanse, so my body got a break, and I lost 10lbs!!! I was more of a mental challenge than anything. I didn’t cheat a single time. I fueled my body with veggies, fruit, whole grains, and truly reset my system. No more headaches, better sleep, better mood, more energy. I learned that I’m happy doing yoga, and walking outside a few times a week. I was putting so much stress on myself and body to work out I was doing damage. I cut out refined sugar completely and don’t miss it at all! I have a glass of wine a couple times a week, and I don’t feel bad about it! All this to say, IF didn’t work for me, working out every day didn’t work. It was getting back to fueling my body properly. You have to live and be happy!
“Condescending” is the word you needed!
Ah I was thinking Patronising
@@emmo4765 patronizing is exactly where I was right too!
Patronizing was what I was thinking too.
I was thinking "condescending" but you guys that said "patronizing" are totally right, too! Makes me wonder which one she would have gone with 🤔
I thought about "dismissive"
I discovered storyworth through you last year and gave it to my mom. She’s had so much fun talking about her parents (who passed in the 80’s) and our family history. I can’t thank you enough for recommending this and feel like it is something my children will someday cherish 💕
You hit the nail on the head with saying don't wait to start living. You never how long we have. My husband was diagnosed with ALS the day before he turned 40 and passed away just after he turned 43. Those 3 years were some of the best we had. We lived fully with intention every day. I still try to do that now to honor him.
I'm sorry for your loss.
My husband passed just before turning 43. It's almost been 5 years. Our son was 10 and is now 15. I try to have your attitude but I find myself to be scared & have anxiety about everything.
It's definitely been so hard on my son and it breaks my heart. They were best friends.
People always ask if I will get remarried and even though I'm lonely I don't want to. I had my soul mate and I had my true love. Some people may never have that in life so I'm definitely grateful for that.
God bless you
@@theresas2520 I'm so sorry for your loss too. It's so hard when you lose your spouse so young. That's not how life is supposed to go. But I'm grateful for every day I got with him. It'll be 7 years in September. There are many days that it's hard to have that attitude and I give myself the space to have bad days. As far as marrying again, I don't know if I ever will again either. I keep myself open to all love. Currently it's my family and friends and I'm good with that. Everyone's story is different.
Omg... I had to pause this because I could hardly hold it together listening about story worth, wishing so badly I had the opportunity to send something like this before my grandparents passed! I know with certainty that this is now going on the top of my gift giving list. Thank you so much for sharing about a company I had never heard of before and have never in my 48 years have heard of any other similar gift. This is priceless beyond words💜💜💜
Love what you said about people needing to stop asking about when you’re having kids. I’d scream it off the roof tops if I could! I’ve had a miscarriage, it took my sister 1.5 years to conceive, and I have dear friends who have tried for over a decade and have suffered so many miscarriages. It’s only people’s business if YOU choose to share. Also, when it comes to having MORE kids, people forget how hard little ones are - physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. Sometimes people need a break, and they don’t owe you an explanation for the myriad of reasons why they’re not ready or if they never want more. God bless you, and I’ll be praying for you guys!
Your advice on living life to the fullest no matter what season of life you are in is a freaking game changer. At the age of 40 I needed a liver transplant. Long story short, I received one, relatively quickly at that & I made a fantastic recovery but I look back at that time that I was sick & wish that I had lived my best life possible, even then. It wouldn’t have looked like life as I knew it at that point but heaven forbid I hadn’t made it through, my children would’ve had even less time to live life with their mama. As you said, all situations are different but now I view life (& living it) very, very differently. Thank you for being vulnerable & sharing parts of your story with us. I know that touched me greatly here & I hope that maybe my words can encourage someone else to live their best life possible as well 💙💚
I Needed to hear your answer about the "eating/exercising" question sooooo bad! I have struggled with this and your response finally made it all CLICK! I am 46, mother of 4 grandma of 1 and I have been killing myself to have the "perfect" workout/diet/body😪. I need to work harder to accept my body for what it is. I feel good physically but wasn't happy with how I looked. And everytime I'd eat something not so healthy...I would beat myself up for days. So Thank You! I am starting right now to love me for me and to enjoy life more!!💖
I love your overall vibe in this video! Motivational yet feisty in all the best ways. I didn’t know how much I needed this today - esp the part about friends growing apart. Thank you for your level-headed advice and for always being so open to how everyone is different and may not always take the same roads in life
As I’m watching this it’s my daughters fourth birthday and I bawled all night last night, all day today and all night tonight. And she’s not even an only child, she’s my third with a baby sister. My kids made me extra soft and emotional. Watching you tear up was so relatable.
Love this video! It’s so important to remember being married & having kids doesn’t equal success. It’s an amazing life event, but those don’t determine your worth or success ❤️
I never comment on videos, but thank you for mentioning how it can be hard when people ask about having kids (or having more kids). I had two miscarriages in 2020, and it’s been really tough. It’s so true that you never know what someone is going through, and even when people mean well, it can be hard to find the right thing to say!! 💜💜
I’m so sorry.
Your perspective on life is so right! Sometimes I get afraid if I wait to have kids it will be harder but the thought of having one right now is terrifying in a way that would shake me to my core
Huge thanks and major respect for choosing to protect your daughter’s privacy. These kids in family vlogs have no say about their entire childhood being documented online for the world to see, as well as being targets for creeps. Wishing you all the best with your family!
Thank you for touching on the trying for a baby topic. As someone who struggled with infertility for many years, and adopted my beautiful son 7 years ago, the early years of infertility were HARD with all the questions and people who were not sensitive to the journey We were on. I feel like society has just taught us to ask these questions as conversation starters and that really needs to change! Thanks for being so open on this topic. ❤️
I think that a big contributor to the problem you discussed when answering the “waiting stages” in life question (feeling like you have to have kids because all your friends are having kids) is that for 18+ years (which is increasing with the almost necessity of going to college and grad school) we are put on a treadmill and constantly assessed based on how we are doing compared to our peers. Once school ends you feel a little lost because that comparison to other people that you have used for years and years to determine whether you are doing well in life is gone, so we grasp at whatever other examples we have for that, like friends and peers of a similar age. And ESPECIALLY with social media now the problem is even worse. It took me a long time to realize all of this and I completely agree with you that you just have to do what feels right to you in your life, but I think most people really don’t consider that when it’s been so engrained in us to compare ourselves to others.
This really got me. I think especially from the part that you talked about people being at a specific point in their life. I’m 32 as well, not married no kids and sometimes it really does feel like I’m waiting for my life to start. It’s hard to not look at the normal patters of life that people go through and not feel like I’ve failed in some way. But I really do believe that God puts us where we are supposed to be. Your reminder and passion behind that is super encouraging! Love your videos and super thankful for you! 😘
I laughed. I cried. I feel better about life. Thank you Jess for all your candid honesty and passion!
It took my hubby and I a year to get pregnant with our second child and it took one try for our first kiddo. I was getting so frustrated and so upset about it but God knew that I wouldn’t have survived a pandemic and lockdown and have a newborn at the same time, so instead he made me pregnant during lockdown and allowed me to be home with our first and get so much extra quality time that we would have never had otherwise! God is good and his timing is perfect! Praying for understanding for you and Tyler.
Yet again another video that shows how awesome of a human being you are! Thank you so much for sharing a bit about the "trying to conceive" process. It can be a lonely place. My husband and I have been trying since December, and it was a relief to hear from someone else in a similar boat. Baby dust to you ❤️.
I Love that you stand up to ppl shaming, so many ppl say, "I'm not like that!" And they really are. I also love that you are honest about having a baby. We grow humans and suffer that pain physically AND emotionally and psychologically. And it's TRUE there's no poo poo'ing that.
Again, THANK YOU❣️❣️❣️ You give me SO MUCH comfort! You make it seem like your talking Directly to me! I have said this for years. You have helped me through the HARDEST Part of my life when I lost my Dad unexpectedly and you guys always put a smile on my face. And I can't thank you enough for that❣️
As someone who lost my parents at a fairly young age (my dad was 46 and my mom 52), I promise that having a book like this would mean everything to me when I miss them extra bad and try to teach my kids about them. You just never know what life is going to throw at you.
I really needed to hear what you had to say about one-sided friendships. I do agree, we need to normalize drifting apart and not think it's something negative. Also, yes 1000000 times yes. Stop asking people about thier body! If they want to tell you they are trying or currently are pregnant, they will tell you!!!
Thank you for mentioning the part about asking about kids. My husband and I are trying as well, and people ask all the time. Every month, when it doesn't happen is rough, and being asked all the time isn't helping. Thank you for telling people not to ask! 💕
Thanks for being vulnerable. We have been struggling with fertility, married for 6 years, and haven't been able to carry a pregnancy into the second trimester yet. The questions are painful, but I am starting to accept that people just love me, want to share in my life and my joy. But it makes me think about how we don't share in each other's heartache enough. Why AREN'T we more open about fertility?? It's so so so common, yet we struggle in silence. You're strong. From personal experience, longer than 6 months it's okay to seek help ♥️ but know that you're in my prayers, it's hard you're amazing
This really resonated with me. We tried IVF twice. Miscarried twice. Then still had people (even family) say or do things to intentionally make me feel bad. It took me soooo long to accept my path in life couldn’t easily be what I wanted it to be. Sadly, it has ruined relationships with some people, but eventually I realized being mother or not being a mother didn’t have to define me. I spent so much time and money on trying something that wasn’t going to be. Now, my husband and I focus on opportunities we can consider and be our happiest selves. We are talking about buying a beach vacation house and possible early retirement. Things that would likely not happened if we had children. It’s not what I had in mind, or what other people apparently think of as the right path in life, but we are happy and taking control of life the best we can! Good luck to you!
These are my favourite videos of yours!!! You are so beautifully genuine and kind. You produce my favourite lifestyle/makeup content on YT, and your vlogs/chit chats always encourage, uplift, and bring truth. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your life.
Thank you for saying that about people giving their opinions about motherhood/birth. My son is 3 weeks old, and it’s so true. New moms need support, not unsolicited advice and opinions 💖
Jessica, thanks for sharing your experience on having a second child. I’m actually going through the same thing...I have an almost 4 year old and we have been trying for a second since September.. Just the other day we were at my in-laws and it was brought up that my son needed a sibling (he is the only grandchild) they of course did NOT know we have been trying but it made my heart sink because of the effort we have been doing and it’s not paying off...
Thank you for being honest, it’s nice to know I’m not in this alone 💕
There's seven years between me and my younger sibling, my parents got a diagnosis of "unexplained infertility" five or six years in. Helpful!
But then a year later it happened. Don't give up hope ❤️ But if you don't keep trying that's okay too, your son will get to have your undivided attention and I'm sure he'll love that! You can only put your body (and your poor heart!) through so much.
And my friend had a baby last year after five years of trying, including nine rounds of ivf, eight of them failed. She's 44 and has a one year old!
“Let me have my experience.” YES! ❤️ Within the past year, I have gotten married and bought my first home. I couldn’t even fully enjoy the experience of my wedding & getting married because of naysayers and know it all’s and people who wanted to have their choices in what we were paying for... Never again! Lol.
Have your experience.❤️
I couldn't enjoy mine either. It was just so busy that we couldn't enjoy the moments. I was also worrying about the families merging and that everyone would get along that day.
Too stressful that I completely understand when people elope instead.
I like to think that having a terrible experience with my wedding prepared me for expanding our family. I will NOT let people tell me how I should be having this experience! I don't think I would've had that perspective if I had the picture perfect wedding.
I didn't enjoy mine either, Mom in-law and her friend ran the show. Of course I was younger and didn't have my voice. Never again, once you have your voice there's no settling or trying to please everyone but yourself.......life is too short to live by someone else's rules. I trust myself, it took many years but it feels wonderful!
I’m so glad you brought up the issue with asking people about future babies. My husband and I have been trying for two years now unsuccessfully, I finally had to tell my mom to stop asking me because it hurts my heart. I wish more people would understand that no matter how curious they might be there is always a chance that there are things they don’t know and it’s not always everyone’s business.
UGH Jessica! I love your videos and you. I’m a big UA-cam watcher but lately it’s kind of hard to relate to people or feel the genuine energy. Every time I watch your videos, I feel like I’m listening to a big sister. Thank you for being so transparent about your experiences and thank you for all the advice in this video. I’m 26 and never been in love or have had a relationship… sometimes I find myself singing “When Will My Life Begin” but you are so right! I’m stopping that right now, I have so much going for myself and I need to be grateful for how far I’ve come.
I am so happy that you talked about “trying”. Me and my husband have been trying for a year and 7 months and are treating with a fertility doctor. I know people outside of our immediate family does not have ill intentions about asking when we are having a baby, but it hurts sometimes. Thanks for speaking on it because many don’t.
Three was the hardest little kid age with my kids. My daughter went from sitting in my lap, whispering sweet nothings, to throwing her leg over a tiny Harley, rolling her cigarettes up in her sleeve, and being all, “how do you like me now?” And yes, both my husband and I have felt those twinges of hurt or jealousy when one of them goes through those stages of preferring one parent. But now that they are teenagers, seeing the relationship my daughter has with my husband is a huge source of joy to me. Girls need their daddy’s, so it’s a blessing.
Thank you for mentioning the subject of trying for kids. It’s so hard to answer that question to random people when you are trying or are going through infertility. It’s very uncomfortable and I think people definitely need to think before they speak and be more sensitive to that subject.
I wasn’t able to have children and nobody could tell me why so this hit home for me….BUT maybe we should start turning the tables on these ppl and making THEM feel uncomfortable and awkward for a change. “Oh when you are gonna start trying to start a family??!” “Well, Trisha, I had sex with my husband 25 out of 30 nights last month and NOTHING. We did it missionary, reverse cowgirl, doggy style..YOU NAME IT. NOTHING! Do you have any suggestions?”
@@jLo4sho OH Lord! I would love to see someone react to that! Good for you ❤
I would answer it something like “that’s not something I would like to talk about”
@@AmandaLeighS Yep I’m actually just very honest about it now but it definitely bothered me when it was still new to me and I didn’t have time to process what I was going through for myself. Now I just say well we are hoping soon but we are struggling to conceive.
I think you should answer back with honesty. If society is ever going to accept that women aren't all fertile and that loss or infertility is VERY common then it needs to be said. Not skirted away from like it has for generations because it's "taboo" to not be fertile or some B.S. .I proudly say when asked why the gap in my children: " I had 3 miscarriages between the two". It's common, it's real, it's not shameful to the woman and I'm gonna stop treating it as if I shouldn't talk about it.
Thank you for sharing and being transparent! You don’t have, you don’t owe us that, but it’s so refreshing to watch someone being REAL on UA-cam 💛
You teach me so many things Jessica. This video, this is why i'm subscribed to you and keep coming back for every videos. I just love your personality🥰
You are seriously one of my favorite youtubers. You look like someone that is so easy to
Be friends with and ur vids r so interesting :) I really enjoy this type of vids
Thank you for all that you said concerning having children. I don't even think people realize how rude they are being (and hurtful.) It was a wonderful reminder for all of us to be more sensitive towards others.❤️
I am so glad you addressed the “when are you having a baby” question and advised people to knock it off. I am past those years, but my two young married daughters get that all the time and it annoys them so much. I will never understand why people think another couple's reproductive plans are anyone else's concern at all. I have never, and never will ever ask someone that, and if I ever slip and DO ask, I sincerely hope they tell me bluntly that is absolutely none of my business!
We gave storyworth to our grandparents last Christmas and we’ve been LOVING it so far! The questions are awesome and the stories have been incredible :)
I have a lot of family in Finland and we visited for 2 weeks in 2018 - it was AMAZING. We brought our daughter who was 22 months at the time. I cannot recommend visiting enough!
im from norway and i have a lot of ancestors in america. if you visit norway you and tyler must see the fjords, the mountains and lakes are beautifull. love your videos, they are a must see when you post them. ive gotten so much good recommandations and good purchasings from you. hope you and your family is doing well, stay safe. thanks for your honesty its so important .
You are so wise on many subjects. ❤️ Btw, rice krispie treats topped with chocolate chips (after melted, poured on to and cooled) are amazing!
I appreciate you being so open in these chats with us, thank you Jess 🥺❤️
Been trying since Nov 2018. Took a break most of 2020 but wasn't "preventing" it we just weren't doing ovulation tests, tracking every time etc. Thanks for being honest. for the first year I didn't tell my mom because I wanted to surprise her, but the one year mark broke me down so bad I called her and told her my struggles. (Everyone) Please don't be afraid to be honest with your closest family members when TTC. They will support you. You don't have to go through this alone
Such a good point to make about the things people will say to women who are pregnant. I don’t have kids yet but I can imagine the “small” feeling those comments would give an expecting mother. People need to lift each other up!
I really appreciate you being honest and open that you and Tyler have been trying. My husband and I have been struggling with infertility for two years now, and it's been the hardest thing in my life. I agree that it is so personal, and it isn't something people should ask about, but I also wish there was more information out there. I wish people didn't assume things. Not everyone wants children, some want to adopt and/or foster, and others want desperately to have children but struggle. 1 in 4 women have had a miscarriage, and 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility. It's also normal for couples to have to try for awhile before conceiving. I'm hopeful that people will become more mindful over time.
Thanks for being so open about everything. With the baby thing, even a change of wording can make all the difference. Asking IF they want a child/children is always a better option, but like you said Jess, stop asking people because you dont know what they are going through.
As a mom of two kids that are turning 7 and 9, yes our kids have swung back and forth between mommy and daddy phases. My perspective when my kids are going through a daddy phase is that I’m so incredibly grateful that my kids have a daddy they are so close to and they love to be with. Not something every kid (or adult) can say 💕
i love how you mentioned about the friendship thing. me and my best friend, we’ve been friends since we were 3 and she moved to Cali for 4 years and we lost touch. she’s home now and we are closer than ever! sometimes life really does get in the way, but if it’s a good and strong friendship then it will come back around ❤️
Omg between the title and intro music, I am almost already crying. It's that time of life, huh?
Love this video🙌 I had my son when I was 42. I found myself explaining my story....I just finally made peace with the fact I was blessed with a baby and it didn't matter how old I was when my dream came true.💜
Heart-to-heart videos are by far my favorites. Thank you for sharing Jessica, it's an honor to hear about your thoughts & experiences 💛
This video was so comforting. I feel like I don’t know the proper words to express this lol but I love how rational and sensible you are. I wished more people thought like you. As someone in my late 30s who is single and childless, I love that part about not waiting to live your life. I feel like people around me feel bad for me and perhaps think that my life is incomplete. If they only knew that I am the most comfortable and at peace with myself that I’ve ever been. Did I used to imagine myself with a family of my own? Yes I did. But I have accepted the fact that that is not where my life went and I am not looking nor waiting. I do the things that I love, and I spend my time doing what makes me happy and I am grateful for my peace of mind every day.
I haven’t finished the video yet, but I just wanted to say before I forget - I SO appreciate you and your approach to food and working out. It has seriously helped me so much this past year as I gained quarantine weight and now am trying to lose some. Knowing that I can have a health relationship with food (bc I LOVE food) and not completely restrict myself from foods that I love has helped so much. Thank you for being genuinely you ❤️
I love you even more for expressing how being asked “when’s number #2” makes you feel. I’m going through the same and it just gets tiring to hear all the time. Thank you for bringing light to this and wishing the best for you on your fertility journey.
So true! I can totally relate to the daddy's girl thing and the pregnancy thing. My husband and I have been trying for 10 years now and it's so heartbreaking when you are constantly reminded about the struggles of infertility.
Honestly, this whole video encompasses all of the reasons I love this channel & why I'm so happy to see it grow! 🥰
Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. And encouraging everyone to be on their own journey and to not let others Shame them or feel obligated to answer other’s invasive questions along their journey at any point in time. 🌟
Thank you so much for letting me know about Storyworth. I’ve been wanting my dad to write down stories for me but so far haven’t been able to get him to do it. Hopefully, the emailed questions and it becoming an actual book will make that happen. It’s the perfect Father’s Day gift. ❤️
So much yes on not asking people about their timeline for having kids! On a similar topic…as someone in their late thirties who has been dating their significant other for several years, I’m also tired of being asked about when I’m getting married-I don’t feel that it’s anyone’s business. I’m happy and that should be what matters!
I am also 32 with a 3-year-old. I always thought I would have my kids 2 years apart so that they would be close. My husband and I tried for over a year, and my guilt would just build that my son wasn't going to have a sibling close in age. My sister would constantly ask when we were having kids and tell me they wouldn't be close in age until she said, "If you're infertile, just tell me and I'll stop asking." Because I know her, I know she didn't mean that to come across as rude as it did, but it still hurt, and isn't something I wanted to say out loud! I finally found out 2 weeks ago that I'm pregnant, but it's hard not to be terrified I'll have a miscarriage or something after it took so long to get pregnant. I know everything happens for a reason, but that doesn't always make it easier. All the best to you guys in your family journey!
Thank you for talking about difficult discussions about growing your family. I’m 35 and have a three year old. We’ve been trying to conceive for over a year now and had a miscarriage in January. I get so tired of being badgered about “time for another kid” comments from people who have no idea the difficulty and heartache we’ve been through in the last year.
I couldn't agree more with you!!!! Ah! Asking people when they're getting married, having a baby, having another baby, or if they're pregnant should all never be asked! I always find it so strange that the people who know us the least ask that the most! Thanks for being so vulnerable. I always love watching your videos! I wish we were neighbors so we could sip on some coffee (or wine) on the porch, eat rice krispies treats, and chat and giggle about life! Hugs from California!
That’s so true. You never know what people are going through. I wish you the best of luck. My brother and his wife recently went through the same- but they were trying for their first. And they were close to looking into fertility treatments and then got the best surprise. So sometimes it takes a bit. Sometimes fertility treatments help. But regardless - don’t feel the need to share. And just slowly learn to tone out those that can’t help but ask again and again.
Good luck!
Love everything you said in this video. I’m so glad you use your little corner of the internet to bring this stuff up once in a while and you don’t shy away from it. Thanks for that. You’re doing a good thing 🥰
When jessica says “does that make sense?” And I’m over here nodding being like “that makes ALL THE SENSE AND I FEEL IT IN MY BONES”. Thanks for the chat Jessica. As a mom of a 2 year old, this was so relatable. Thank you
I am glad you talked about waiting. I am 24 and my friends are in relationships and getting married. I used to want to be in a relationship so badly, but over the last year or two, I’ve really accepted where I’m at in my life. I am so content being my own person right now, and personally, I wouldn’t have the time for a relationship. I work full time and am getting my masters degree. I think everyone just has to come to that point where you realize you are your own person and you don’t have to wait for another person to come into your life to start living ❤️ Also, in regards to the one sided friendship, it is totally ok to let them go. Friendships change. I’ve personally cut a couple of friendships because they were drama filled individuals, and letting them go gave me so much peace.
Thank you for being so open. I have a feeling many viewers will be so touched and inspired by what you shared today. God Bless you guys and Happy Belated Birthday to sweet GiGi 😘💋
People always chiming in whether they have had the experience or not!! Your channel is great!
Thanks for your candor!
OH MY JEFF! 18:00. just bookmarking this to re watch and also show husband. I’m going through these exact emotions with my nearly 3 year old right now. He is so attached to Daddy. My boy is also adopted from 10 months old so the amount of doubt in my head is hideous. Thank you 🙏 thank you thank you for sharing. I needed to hear this!!!! I feel you sister xxxx
Also 29:50 we soon shut people up when we told them we were adopting due to fertility issues. However, we are now being asked if we are going to adopt again. It just never ends! !
Honestly as much as I love your content and how much I often feel like you are one of my friends. I recently in the past couple of months have felt kind of a disconnect from your videos. I still watch and I still adore you, but just really felt disconnected. This video feels so real and gives me all the good feels I normally have when I watch one of your videos.
It’s ok to grow in a different direction than the youtubers you watch, but I’m really glad I’m not going in a complete different path than your videos. I really enjoy having your content in my life.
After I had a baby here in the UK, I showered and then put on a minimal amount of makeup- concealer lip balm and brows and some of the nurses looked at me like I am crazy and vain 🤔🤣but honestly I was a complete mess in labour that I wanted to be just a little fresh and put together 🙄
Yes!! I showered and then dried my hair (it’s crazy curly and takes forever to dry) and the nurses thought I was crazy! Excuse me for just pushing a human out and only wanting clean, dry hair 😝💕
It shouldn't be such a crazy thing. It's normal to care for yourself and if you feel better with a bit of makeup on, that's perfectly fine. Those nurses should just focus on doing their jobs instead of throwing judgemental looks. So much for being professional.
I've never had a baby but washing my face and putting on makeup after I had my gallbladder out felt so amazing and so important, so I can only imagine that is multiplied tenfold post-partum!
@@Rose-jz6sx Me too. Haven't had a baby, but after major surgery, that first shower where I washed my hair and did my complete skin care routine was like heaven!
I dropped my phone in my water when you said that you wanted to go to Sweden. Girl, there is SO much I want to show you! /swede 🇸🇪
This coffee chat was so heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. You're so incredible💞
You hit so many truths in this one ❤
I have friends struggling with fertility and it's like an actual punch in the gut when I hear others asking them when they'll have children. I can't even imagine how they feel.
Jessica, thank you so so much for sharing that you have been trying to have another baby for awhile now. I have been trying forever our first baby since October as well. I feel very alone as all of my friends and family got pregnant in a month or two and I feel very isolated and am tired of answering questions too! I agree it’s so Frustrating answering the questions when we actually have been trying a while not knowing if anything is wrong yet. I wish others would be more vocal about their ttc journey as I know most don’t actually get pregnant in a month or two. Also, I have never commented before, but wanted to tell you that I absolutely love your videos! You are the only UA-camr I will literally watch anything you post! I am an Indiana girl who is also obsessed with Disney and I absolutely appreciate all of the make-up, Disney, and lifestyle videos you post as everything is so me. Thanks for being you, you are amazing:)
Really enjoyed your video today. I am 71 and my husband and I were not able to have children. However you do not have to have been a parent to recognize the importance of raising children with consequences for their actions. That should be the golden rule of parenting and appreciate your verbalizing it. Also rise crispy treats are my favorite treat. For that very reason I only make them about once a year as they slide down way to easily. and suddenly the pan is half empty. 😊
As a kid, I remember listening to my mom and aunts and sister in laws talking about the trials and tribulations of what happens about having a child, childbirth, and that alone gave me much reservation and hesitancy to have a child. The audacity of people asking questions (or touching you or your stomach without permission is also soooo creepy) because they honestly have nothing civil to say -- how about just say a genuinely happy "congratulations!" and asking if they need anything without judging or commenting (not volunteering what they "should" need or making a critique about what they say they need) would be wonderful -- and leaving it at that and moving on to a new conversation. Manners, people.
Thank you for the gift recommendation. I lost my dad 10 years ago and I've been wanting a better way to remember him so that my son gets to meet him too. I love your genuine personality
LOVE your perspective on the baby question. We’ve been asked so many times and while I DREAM of having kids, we have reasons why we don’t right not and honestly it’s a painful decision for us both. And I feel like no one needs to know our timeline because if in a year from now it doesn’t happen (for whatever reason) people will hold us accountable.. as if it’s any of their authority or business when/ how many children we have. My other friends and I rant about it all the time!
OMG!!! When I had my son i packed a travel makeup bag and I felt the SAME EXACT WAY!!! With both of my kids I had C-sections so I was in the hospital for 3 days with both and being able to shower, put on a little bit of makeup and a beautiful fragrance for those 3 days was the best thing that I could have done for myself. It made me feel so much better and it brought me a sense of normalcy!