MONTESSORI AT HOME: Independent Sleep
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- Опубліковано 27 вер 2024
- MONTESSORI AT HOME: INDEPENDENT SLEEP // Discover practical ideas on how to approach sleep training from a Montessori perspective. Ashley also shares her personal journey in helping her toddler to achieve independent sleep.
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#montessori #parenting #sleeptraining
I think about 50% of us aren't even close to having kids... 😂😂😂
Yet, the amount of information in your channel is sooo helpful, important and beautiful!
I'd love to see an updated version of everything you learned in round 2 with Mia!! Xxo
Yassss pleaseee 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Me too .... im so tired
Yes please!
Yes!!! I’m in a pretty similar boat right now as you were in this video! I have two kids (one toddler and one 9 month baby) whom I fallen into the same rut of nursing to sleep. The first one still comes into my bed in the middle of the night. Very much hoping for an updated video of how Mia’s sleep training went!
Please do!
Just a word of advice about the floor beds:
Be sure to take opportunities to prop them (the mattresses) both up so the underside can air out. Having the mattresses directly on the floor without any kind of slats to raise them up and promote air flow can actually lead to mold growth. [Also remove any waterproof protectors you might use regularly; moisture can get trapped INSIDE and again, promote mold growth. I speak from experience.]
We live in a very dry climate, and Kylie has been on floor bed for 2 years without any mold issues. With that said, we do still check weekly each time we wash and change the sheets. :) However, for those of you who live in a wetter climate and have legitimate concerns about this, there are other options available to help raise the bed off the floor slightly to prevent this issue (while still keeping it as a floor bed). Here’s a great example of one that I would personally use if this were a concern: sprout-kids.com/products/low-montessori-floor-bed-for-toddlers Hope this helps! 😊
We have had a floor bed for 1.5 years, and last winter when our heating broke actually got a little mold on the walls around the windows. Never around the mattress tho. We air her room regularly, try to keep it at a stable temperature, and pick up the mattress weekly. Just keep an eye on it. Or a nose. The smell is the first to tell.
So true. Idk why nobody talk about it !!
A mattress need air under it. Humans sweat so much during sleep.
Sound advice! 🙏
Checking for mom 7-8 times to make sure she’s still there outside the door. 😭 Why is that making me cry?!!!!! It’s so freaking cute and sweet and innocent. Little humans are so precious
Me tooo 😢
I am so appreciative for you talking about your struggle with the sleep association. I too have struggled on and off with my daughter and breastfeeding to sleep. You come across as a very strong and “have it altogether” mom so it is so refreshing to hear you be real about the hard parts about being a mom..you help me feel like I am doing a better job than I think I am!! Thank you so much Ashley
It is always very interesting to see how the sleep "issue" is solved in so many different ways. The ideal solution for us is co-sleeping with our 18month old toddler. I still nurse him to sleep, he still wakes up multiple times during the night. Anyways, since we sleep all in one bed, I don't even notice when he nurses during the night and we have a similar sleep to as it was before having a baby. 👣👶 Besides that, we love sleeping in one bed and enjoy the cuddles. I am excited to see where our journey leads us and how long we will continue to be breastfeeding. 😍 I love your channel and all the videos on the Montessori approach! They are so well researched and interesting! 🤓 Greetings from Germany. 🇩🇪
We're in the same boat. I would like to see her address the parents who still breastfeed their child at night. I haven't watched all her vids, but it seems like she stops breastfeeding early on. Is there a solution later on for when parents wing them off?
Check out Andrea Olsen at Go Diaper Free, she recommends weaning off nursing to sleep at daytime naps which will help baby wean off nursing at night. Baby will be able to go back to sleep themself without needing to nurse.
Reisetagebuch congratulations! I’m still co-sleeping with my 19 month old and 5 year old! I’ve been nursing for 5 years! Co-sleeping and child lead weaning has allowed us to sleep 8-9 hours every night. Rested parents = happy parents.
Reisetagebuch Thank you for sharing this 💕 I can relate to your comment more than this video because I’m currently bed sharing with my almost 6 month old and It works great for us. I’m just thinking it’s time I try to put us on a schedule rather than just going with the flow ( I’m struggling to have a productive schedule for myself because I don’t know when or how many naps, and some nights it’s harder to get her to sleep, even with nursing)
@@kias7791 This is amazing. We love co-sleeping with our little one. It makes everything so easy.
I’m high school student (and certainly very far from having children) but I’m glad I’m discovering these methods! I’m glad there are videos like yours online that I can use in however many years when I do have kids :)
maria montessori was a trained doctor, an avid observer of children and a mother... all this combined makes me think she probably wouldn't support anything CLOSE to cry it out. todays psychologists and child development experts (even neuro-scientists!) speak widely on the benefits of attachement/relationship style sleeping where the child will feel the strongest bond with the parent, and develop into a more secure and independent person. there are many articles and even research that shows the harm of child isolation and cry-it-out methods. honestly, i don't think maria montessori would support something like this. this type of child independence is more of a modern, american convenience for parents i regret to say... it isn't necessarily the best thing for child development. i know many won't like what i'm saying, but it's in the data, in the research and in the hands of experts that study children, their brains, their development and their overall, long term growth and well being. here's one such example: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out
Agreed to this comment! In my country bonding is very important.
i have to mention this, too: my friend who was a montessori school guide (teacher) told me that sleep is taught by MODELING. the children and teacher would all lay down and the teacher would show the kids, essentially, how to fall asleep. this is cosleep, folks. this is how it works biologically and developmentally. montessori methods make sense, even though sleep wasn't exactly covered by maria, i think it goes without saying that we continue the method of supporting their learning by being present and modeling it for them. co-sleeping really does work that way!
greatCabbageAge238 wait. She didn't use the cry it out method did she? Thought she stayed with the child until the child fell asleep ?
Thanks for sharing this article!
Ann Betsa agree. She did the opposite of the cry out method.
She didn’t leave her daughter to cry for hours on end.
She did it in stages, allowed checking and provided support and comfort.
Big difference to shutting the child away to cry for hours until they’re exhausted and fall asleep from that vs being tired.
Happiest baby on the block book was a gane changer for my son. He was sleeping through the night by 12 weeks and I exclusively breastfed. He is still an amazing sleeper now at 16 months. He has been sleeping 12-13 hours per night since he was about 9 months old. He naps throughout the day on a set schedule. He is definitely the happiest baby on the block.
Raishelle Meagher how did you get him to sleep through the night being breastfed?
Regan, getting on a set schedule during the day for naps,feeding and play then bedtime helped. I made sure he nursed efficiently during the day. I was crazy about our schedule and routine which was a bit of a sacrifice but I wasn’t willing to live with the consequences of not sticking to it. It all happened together honestly...everything was in place and the baby was living harmonious. All his needs were met so he just didn’t need to wake up to eat. Black out curtains, swaddling and sound machine were major contributing factors.
Raishelle Meagher will you please share your schedule of day naps and feeding? I have a three month old, exclusive breastfeeding baby, I really need to put him to schedule for feeding more than anything. As of now he sleeps 8-9 hours at night!
I love all of your videos! I’m 6 weeks pregnant (first time mom) and so happy to have found your channel. I have a passion for a Montessori teaching/parenting style and you’ve really helped me understand it better! Thank you so much!!!
My kids are 10 and 6 and I wish I had exposure to this content in my first pregnancy. You’re ahead of the game! Great channel and a beautiful philosophy.
We always wondered what and how we should break the sleep association and our presence in the room. But at some point we thought about our own childhood. We talked to our friends and almost all of them got up at night regularly and went to our parents bedroom, because we just didn't want to be alone at night. So it was settled, we did what most Scandinavian countries do and introduced a family bed. Now we all just sleep together in one large bed. Sure... it's not always super great for sleeping when our little one has a bad night, but we never wanted to go through the process of weaning him into being alone. Most adults don't like sleeping alone, so I feel it's a bit tough to demand that of a young human being. Anyways, your channel is inspiring and your approach to making montessori work is impressive. I wish I could be even a fraction as disciplined and structured about it. All the best for your, your family and you channel :)
I’m SO appreciative for this video right now. Your daughter sounds exactly like mine with what we’ve been through (first time mom here who has done exactly as you described) but I’m late to the disassociation work, just starting at 17 months. I write this after a two hour session trying to go down for nap and feeling so heartbroken after she finally went to sleep. Evenings seem surprisingly ok with fighting sleep but not crying. However, naps seems to be horrible and the fighting of sleep, longer. Thank you for being another parent who talked about this and picked me back up in the middle of it (while enduring insane fires & COVID 🤯😭).
You are such a champion. Mentally filing this away for the future! Even though I don't have kids yet, I really love your videos because they are so thorough and easy to understand. Thank you for sharing all of your experiences!
I'm rewatching this video cause my baby is 6 months old, and sleeping in a floor bed...we tried putting her in her bed drowsy, it worked for exactly one day and now she'll just cry and fight her sleep with every ounce of energy she has left. My had for allowing her to form that habit, but when you're so exhausted and sleep deprived you whatever it takes to get your baby to sleep. I definitely want to keep trying, its just so much easier to let her fall asleep on the boob. Thank you again for leaving these videos up, im rewatching so many of them as my baby grows 😊
Anyone else noticed she said “the new normal” a year before covid? Prophetic
I was lucky with mine. She started putting herself to sleep at around 6 months. I watched this for #2 which I will be breast feeding for much longer. I'm sure it will not be nearly as easy. Thanks for the content!
I'm a new subscriber, this is the second video I watch and I have to say I feel tremendously identified and glad. I love I'm not the only one trying to raise a child this way. I'm still breastfeeding my 13 months old boy to help him sleep (we actually co-sleep) and I'm in the process of letting him on his own bed next to mine (not so easy). So thanks a lot for giving me ideas and hope! 🌺
With my second baby I did
the "put down when still awake" method from day One 😂 because my First daughter learned to sleep completely alone at 5 y.o. 😱
I don’t think that’s what she is saying at all Nadia...I understand her statement completely. I screwed up my oldest child’s sleep in so many ways and he was also not able to fall asleep alone until close to 5 years old and struggled with sleep for a long time after that. So when my second son was born I did a lot of research and also did the awake to sleep. Not because I cared less but because I knew I needed to set my baby up for success and also not be a sleep deprived zombie myself.
I tried to do that from day 1 as well. She would wake up every time, other times just fuss/cry in her bed... solution still to be found 😅
I wished that worked for me. mine would pass out from trying and in the process smash her head on the crib I tried everything so I ended up co sleeping but she will only go to bed if I do. 😕
One of my favorite videos on this channel. Sharing real struggles of parenthood. So many mom channels gaslight moms into thinking motherhood is pinterest perfect
Hi Ashley! In Alex's room, there's only some plush toys and a few books, as you mentioned, I didn't want him to have too many toys to distract him from sleeping. We still use the white noise machine as well, it helps a lot during the day if there's any noise outside. I can imagine how you must've felt when you had to stop nursing Kylie. I am still nursing Alex at 21 months old and I get sad thinking that soon I am gonna have to stop nursing him. You are an amazing mom, Ashley! Mia and Kylie are so lucky to have you as their mom ❤️!
I cried MANY times after she was done, it was such a sad loss. 😞 My only good feeling about it was knowing it was entirely her choice. That certainly helped. Thank you so much for all of your support, you’re so sweet. 💕
For those desperate parents watching this, one of the most important things you can do is diagnose why your child isn't sleeping. There are countless reasons. Before embarking on any strategy, get the why figured out. This could range from sleep associations, to sleep disturbances, restless leg/iron deficiency, or anxiety or not being tired due to the schedule you've set up. Some solutions work for one reason but are counterproductive to other reasons. Dr Ferber's book will help you diagnose these issues. Whether or not you follow his solutions is a personal choice, but the diagnosis part is very informative.
You are a beautiful Mother ❤️
Great Job Momma! You did it amazingly. I truly get the crying by your baby’s side and ultimately understanding that it’s our hearts that break more than theirs.
I have an 8 month old son who can now sleep independently in his crib and want to transition him to napping on his floor mattress in his own room and I got a lot of inspiration from this video. Thank you!
Love the info needed a refresh to avoid errors in this trial time. My baby is 6 month old and he fall sleep by himself. Sometimes I miss him falling sleep in my arms but he dont like to cuddle to sleep. What really worked was weaning him off: make him fall sleep different positions on my arms then get him off my arms ... laying side by side. And finally off to the crib and holding his hand a few times until finally he is off on his own. I do the same for the pacifier. Sometimes I purposely dont give to him so when it's time he will be ready to drop as quick as within 2 weeks. This worked for my daughter. As of room ambience ... make everything very quiet (even if TV is on but VErY LOW, sometimes I need to turn off) lights off and comfortable temperature if possible and my beautiful lullaby ( same song same melody tells their brain time to turn off) . G L every one.
Omg ! I have a 11 month baby and I nurse to sleep .. I am sooo tired ! Will try your method sounds good , I don’t like the cry out . Thank u
As a new momma, I'm lucky that I have a fairly good sleeper, but I have to say I love watching your videos and have learned so much from you. I'm VERY new to this whole Montessori idea but I can already see my ideas of raising my son are diverging a LOT from non-montessori minded parents which is interesting. so, I guess I just want to say thank you again! You're a wonderful momma!
I liked your idea of the Montessori sleep approach so at around 18 months my son started sleeping in his own bed and we leave his door cracked open so he just wakes up in the morning and comes downstair with us when he's ready. Very cool concept!
Mmm.. I have to disagree with nursing to sleep being a "nasty" sleep association. It's completely normal and healthy.. though it does suck for us mamas lol. But I'm totally going to be trying these methods out because this mama has been trying to wean for about a year now. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I meant “nasty” as in a VERY strong association, not gross. 😊 I agree that it is 100% healthy and normal! 👍🏻
@@HapaFamily oh ok 😂 I was gonna say. I was really shocked when you said that. 😂
I probably should have worded it differently, lol. Thanks for watching!
To wean my 15mo (I still dry nurse from time to time) it really helped that dad is now in charge of sleep. He puts her on his shoulder and she's right off to sleep! I got pregnant again when she was 10 months and a half and my production stopped a few weeks after that, plus my breasts got super sensitive... And she got SO mad that I had no milk. I hope you managed to wean! ♥️
I love nursing my 11 month old to sleep. It’s such a sweet time to snuggle up together and I watch his little body slow down and his eyes gently shut. Once he’s asleep I pick him up and rock him for a few moments and feel the full weight of his body before I lay him down. It’s so special to me as I know these special snuggles are limited and he’ll be a big boy very soon.
Teaching my baby to sleep independently was one of the most difficult things i ever did. I used the 'little ones baby sleep program' which is a no tears approach and we gradually trained her. By 11months she slept through on her own. There were still many ups and downs till about 13 months. But thats because of the wonderweeks or developmental leaps they go through. Not to mention teeeeeething and getting colds from daycare. Now that she is sleeping like a baby - im not! I now have sleep anxiety and insomnia. Hehe!
This was seriously so helpful. My story fully with my baby. He’s almost 10 months and still sleeping in his bed in our room. I still nurse him to sleep everytime, I have to nurse him to nap and when he wakes up through the night he has to nurse in order to go back to sleep. Just stumbled upon Montessori and RIE and wanted to start implementing it into our lives. I love how this video (and honestly all of your videos) are very matter of fact and you aren’t put off with saying “yeah I nursed my baby to sleep” because it obviously isn’t ideal and sometimes it worries to let people know that. I find with other videos on babies sleep topic that what is shown is a baby being put down in their bed awake and that’s it. Very discouraging and makes you feel like you are alone in this. Only my baby won’t sooth himself to sleep type thing ya know. Anyways enough blabbing. Thank you so much!! So unbelievably helpful!
Very reassuring video . Very similar to my journey . I weaned at almost 17 months . And I did the same method you did including putting him in a consistent night time routine. Now at 18 months we’re at a point where he’s sleeping for the whole night most nights but I do have to sit next to him to fall asleep. I would look into eventually gradually retreating but for now I’m in no rush as he’s an only child and this seems to be working right now . Thanks for sharing .
Love your videos. Montessori at home with a 1yr 7 mo old and a 5 mo old is just as you mentioned, a CHALLENGE. Somehow listening to other parents, as yourself, helps me grab ideas on how and when to do certain activities, etc. So thank you. Also, you have a wonderful family , God bless youuu!
WOW! You are amazing! This is my second video and it has won me over. I love the method you used--you were very detailed in explaining how you achieved independent sleep in a very humane way. I can't wait to try this with my 7-month old. I feel so confident now after watching this that we will have the same success. Seriously, i've read and researched so much on sleep training and your experience is the best one i've come across. You have just earned a subscriber!!🥰
Thank you for making this video, it finally made me to ''sleep train'' my 17m old daughter. I was against the ''cry it out'' method, so this video helped me a lot to finally take the step and start to help her to sleep better.
we also went through “everything “ with trial and fail over and over again. gave up - did co-sleeping in winter and floor bed in summer (it’s a 1-bedroom so not many options here) and when he reached 18 months - just like that, he was ok to sleep by himself and be left alone in the room with a book and milk 😄was like a switch. makes me think -they, babies, are naturally programmed to do what they need when they ready. so nursing to sleep, rocking to sleep, co-sleeping , soother, bottle - we had it all🙃
In case no one has told you today,
You are a great Mom ❤️
Thanks, Haley. 😊
Thanks for this video! I'm in the same boat, cosleeping and feeding to sleep because it's what worked. But, it's time for a change. Going to try this!
My 9 month old nurses to sleep (for all naps too!), and has a montessori nursery setup. We've tried so many sleep training methods but none have really worked. Going to try your method tonight *fingers crossed*. Thank you for making this video!
Hello! I have a 1 year old. I was wondering did this work for you? My daughter also nurses to sleep and nap 😅
@@yuritzikhan4040 Hi! So it kind of works lol. I'm slowly working on it 😅. Details: it has only been working for naps, which is the easiest time for my son to fall asleep (probably because he's the most sleepy?). The first day, I let him nurse but when he was about to fall asleep I gave him a pacifier. The next day, I did not nurse but waited on his bed while he played all over the room. Finally when he was really tired (after 45 minutes!) he crawled to me...instead of boob, I stuck the pacifier in his mouth and he fell asleep right away. Now for naps, this is the routine. It still takes a long time and now he loves his pacifier. I answer emails on my phone while I wait. For nighttime, he still nurses to sleep. If I wait until he is tired, it takes 2-3 hours, and when he is super sleepy he scream cries and passes out face down on the bed or play mat. Baby steps I guess haha 🤷♀️ Good luck with your little one!
Thank you so much for sharing how you worked with your little. We are currently struggling to get our baby to fall asleep independently and this is so helpful! Thank you!
And each kid is different! My daughter stayed in the bed with us (in a snuggle nest for safety) for 2 months, then was in her crib in her own room. My son stayed in our bed for 5 months, and is now in a crib in our room. I don't want to move him into the nursery yet for a couple reasons: he still wakes up 2-3 times a night to nurse and I don't want him to wake my daughter. Also, it will be a new adjustment and right now I'm still basking in the victory of getting him comfortably in the crib. Finally, my daughter loves her brother but has struggled with his arrival. I think the change would be hard for her. It's literally just trial and error with kids! :)
Question: What did you do when Kylie woke up in the middle of the night and you weren't there? And did that even happen?
I have the same concern!!
I like how you love and teach ur kids 😍😍 sending hug from Indonesia 😍
I hope I can be the best mother for my lil one
Right now I'm doing what you did! Great advise without leaving her!
I found your channel recently- while researching different discipline ideas for my 1.5 year old! I absolutely love your channel! Loving the montessori parenting approach, and it has been working great with my son so far! Thanks for all your help! I also have a youtube channel, but I dont make any videos in regards to parenting styles- so I really appreciate that about your channel!
Please do a video on how you manage sleep with Mia! Thank you xx
Thank you so much for this. My 13 month old little boy is on the road to falling asleep with me next to him by his crib, and not being held.
I watched this video a year ago because I love Montessori. Now I’m watching because I love Montessori but my little boy is here and I need help! 🥰
Looooooved that video!!!!!
Why should babies sleep by themselves? What's the benefit for children in being alone instead of cuddling and staying close to mum and/or dad?
Our baby sleeps with us in our bed during the night, but we can't stay with her when she naps during the day (3 times). If she stayed close to me, she would have far too many stimuli to be able to fall asleep.
Fithrildith that’s interesting. My baby is actually the opposite. I let him cuddle and stay with me for most day time naps but he sleeps in his own bed at night. He is also only 7 weeks and I know as he gets older and naps less frequent, we will have him also nap on his own.
I feel that it’s important to establish independence and it’s important that they sleep in there own space so that they get there best sleep and you get your best sleep
sabine meyer I was wondering the same ... I have been co sleeping with my baby since he was born , and always nurse him to sleep as that is what he wants to do ... they won’t need our help for long ... we should just follow they lead
I would say for my family the pros are: sleeping through the night, for parents and baby. My kids are kids that NEED a lot of sleep, so because we gently sleep trained, they have never gotten out of bed to come to us, they sleep through the night unless sick, too wet of diaper, or still feeding in the night as an infant. Also, I am a thrasher in my sleep and my husband is a very large man who sleeps through chainsaws, so it's also a matter of safety.
Wow beautiful baby ! God blessed me and Idk who needed to see this but progesterone cream helped with my unexplainable miscarriages! May God bless everyone !!
No one needs to feel guilty about sleep training. I was shamed significantly for sleep training my son when he was 6.5 months old. I was SO sleep deprived to the point that I was having odd symptoms that caused my doctor to order an MRI of my brain. He would wake every 3 hours over night despite us having a great schedule and adequate naps and wake windows. Being able to fall asleep independently and transition sleep cycles easily has made a world of difference for my SON and myself. He's 13 months now and sleeps like a complete champ. *edit* just for clarification, my son was sleeping 6-7 hour stretches before the 4th month sleep regression. And my husband is amazing. He helps out SO much. We're definitely a team. My son needed assistance falling asleep on his own. He slept better after training and was WAY happier.
100% agree! :)
waking up every 3 hours at that age is completely normal and expected...they are waking up for feedings.
@@olgasavestheday I was going to say, 3h at 6 months is GOOD!
My daughter was always a good sleeper and by 6 months was sleeping through the night. But we also used formula which helps them sleep longer, and used blackout curtains and a noise machine and pacifier. All those things seemed to really facilitate sleep for her.
Just FYI formula doesn’t mean they sleep longer, sleep is unique for each baby. My son was exclusively breastfed until 6 months and we started feeding formula at night to try to help sleep better and it made zero difference. I wish I hadn’t followed that advice because it messed with my breastfeeding. Some babies just need to wake up multiple times a night for a long time and start sleeping through the night way later, into toddlerhood. It’s normal and shouldn’t be rushed or forced.
@@emily_heyerhome Im sorry that it didn't work out for you. I am just sharing what worked for our family. I hope you are doing well now!
Can I just say, I like you SO much! You’re knowledgeable, welcoming and validating of others’ parenting experiences. I’m 20 weeks pregnant and so grateful I came across your videos. They’ve had a huge impact on my plans to parent. Thanks for making these concepts so accessible!
You mentioned your tot can leave the room whenever she wants. We intend to do a floor bed from infancy (initially sleeping in our room with a bassinet). I kind of assumed that I’d have a child proofing device on the doorknob to ensure baby stays in their safe environment. I live in a three storey townhome, so the stairs and amount of distance away I could be from baby’s room are part of my concern. Additionally, I don’t trust my cat not to smother baby in their sleep (out of love, hate, or some combination of the two!). Any thoughts on this?
Jo I know that Ashley puts a child gate on the outside of the door at night. So while Kylie can leave her bed and open the door, she cannot actually leave her room. Hope this helps, and congrats on the new little one! 😊
Hi Jo! Thanks so much! My toddler no longer has a gate at her door, as the other person mentioned... that was only when she was much younger. (The gate is now actually on our infant's door so that Kylie cannot get into it without us at night). Our bedroom floor has a permanent gate at the top of the stairs, so there's not much for her to do except wander into our room (which is what she always does if she leaves her own room). Nothing wrong with the lock on the door from the outside, though, if that's the only option you feel is safest (especially with your cat). :)
Hapa Family My mistake! I just recently discovered your channel so I’ve been binge watching all your old videos 😂 Learning about Montessori is so interesting and I would like to implement it when I become a mama someday and maybe in the classroom when I become a teacher! Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful family with us- I look forward to watching new videos! 😊
Hi,
You said in this video that you follow a sleeping routine every time before putting your daughter to sleep. Could you give an example of sleeping routine?
Hello! 👋🏻 Thanks for watching! Our bedtime routine is typically dinner, bath, pjs/brush teeth, bedtime stories, and lights out. :)
Happy Mother’s Day!
I would love an update video on how you encouraged independent sleep with Meah and what that looked like!
This is such a great approach ! Thank you, keep the videos on this topic coming.
Thank you for this advice. I would like to ask how do you put your little one for a naps.
We need an update to this!!
I'm about to start weaning my 20 month old from nursing in the morning and night before my next baby is due in April. I'm so nervous about the night one!! She already falls asleep by herself in her crib after she nurses, but it's still a huge part of our bedtime routine that helps her wind down and gives comfort. Hopefully it won't be as difficult for her as I'm thinking it will!
whatgwenloves Then... why not just let her wean when she’s ready?
Just asking.
You can always breastfeed both children.
@@estefaniaibanezreyes4078 no emotionally I could not do that.
do you leave the white noise machine on the entire night or do you turn it off when baby is asleep?
I love your videos! I'm a first time mom and my son is 4 months old. I'm learning so much and I love that Mia is a month older than my son it helps give me ideas on what to do. How do you put Mia to sleep?
Thanks so much for watching, I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying the videos! My sleep approach with Mia is currently “under construction”, lol, but what I’m doing at the moment is nursing her until she’s very sleepy and then putting her down in her bed. On occasion, she fusses for a few minutes (which I allow as long as it’s not hard crying), but usually she’ll fall asleep within a reasonable amount of time on her own. 😊👍🏻
@@HapaFamily that's what I do with my baby. She is about to be 1 year old and this method actually works perfect for us.
Totally want to know how things went with Mia!
Thank you! Really appreciate ur content! 💓 can u plz have a separate video on independent sleep for babies. Thatsnk you xx
I have a question! What do you do if they get out of bed and come to you? Do I put him back into bed? Do I hold him? (I used to cuddle/rock him to sleep)
This video it’s going to be so helpful. I have a nine month old and sleeping is a hard one. I just end up climbing into bed next to him until he falls asleep. I’m going to try the slow moving away.
We did the same thing night weajing wise, fed with lights on and just sat by her bed for weeks as she fell asleep x
A child that active while sleeping may have restless leg syndrome.. I suffered from this for many years until a very wise lady told me to put a fresh bar of soap in my bed.. it took about two weeks for my body to embrace but it works like a charm. On the last week of the month as I change my bed weekly, I use a fresh bar of soap. I also rub the soap on my sheets where my legs would be located.. This also worked with my grandson... he use to kick a lot during sleep but the soap stopped that as well.
What exactly does the soap do, if I may ask? And does it just lie there under your blanket or something like that?
@@Lifeisbutanillusion people believe that if the soap contains magnesium, it'll permeate your skin and relax the leg muscles. Even if magnesium is known to help with muscle cramps and soreness, the soap thing is not.
Hi there! Thanks for your great videos ! They are so helpful. I’m wondering more about achieving independent sleep with a Montessori floor bed set up. My 7 month old seems to get separation anxiety when I leave the room and crawls around the room crying until I come in. This can go on for quite some time too. She even goes to the door. It’s heart breaking and I can’t find any information out there for sleep training in a Montessori bedroom. I was wondering if you had any more information in addition to what you mentioned in this video. I am also doing this “gradual further away” method and letting her cry it out within reason. It’s heartbreaking and I find myself seeking more guidance for sleep training in a Montessori environment. Thank you so much!!
I would love your help on how you approach Mia's sleep this time around. I have a 7 month old in a floor bed and we struggle with her sleep. she fights sleep unless I hold her until she is basically asleep. she is only sleeping throughout the night for 3 hours at a time. I'd love some advice. btw I always look forward to all your videos. you are amazing!
Thank you for this video. Such useful information 😊😊😊
I am curious to know what exactly you are doing with your youngest to encourage independent sleep. I am due with my first child in november and would like to avoid the crib altogether and am curious to know how it is going for you 😊 thanks!
I implemented some of the ideas shared in this video with my 16 months old baby and it helped our bedtime routine!
Thank you!
I plan to set up my toddler in a secure playspace with activities and safe toys while putting my baby to sleep.
Bless your heart!! Your gentle dedication to breaking the nursing/sleep association was insanely time consuming and patient!
Incredibly hepful and reassuring video! Thank you so much for sharing.
We have a 16 month old boy and he stil cant fall asleep independantly. What you did to help Kylie learn to fall asleep is very simiar to the chair method which I was considering to start doing very soon. I like the idea of a floor bed, but I think it would make the process much more difficult as I am sure my boy will keep getting up. How did you cope with that when you moved further away from her bed?
We have the first real sleeping issues around here, our girl is almost two and suddenly scared to be left alone in her room. We have to stay next to her while she falls asleep. If we hold her it's faster but I don't want to implement that habit, she's gettig heavy! And I want to help her do it as independently as possible. It was so frustrating to see her suddenly uncapable to settle on her own, but we are gettig used to it. Twice, when I was desperate, I let her cry intermittalty alone in the room for naptime. She could not go down alone, for 1.5hours. I gave in and held her. Later I tried to discuss it with her and she clearly told me she was scared. So we want to respect that. It will pass. We'll keep trying to increase the distance at bedtime as much as doable, and if she wakes at night and can't settle by herself sometimes I just lay beside her and sleep there for a few hours.
I am hopeful that with dialogue and will we'll get over this.
Thank you so much!! How long would you hang out outside of the door??
Thanks for sharing. You put a lot of effort and are so consistent. 👍
Wondering if you swaddles and, if you did, how you transitioned out!
I was hoping you would talk about your 4 month old lol. I'm a first time mom and my baby is 4 months (will be 5 months on July 28th). She is in what I read to be a sleep regression and now she gets up after midnight every single hour to nurse back to sleep. I have her crib in my room and plan on her sleeping in our room for the first year. I just weaned off the dockatot in her crib and she just learned to roll over, so it's a lot of change for her at once. I have seen her slowly learning it's ok to roll over and sleep on her tummy bc sometimes it wakes her and she cant go back to sleep. I heard sleep training shouldnt start until 5 months....so I nurse back to sleep all night and she only lasts like an hour in the crib before waking. Some nights I give in and side nurse her and let her sleep on my bed so i can get an extra hour of sleep, she seems to sleep a tiny bit longer next to me.
Oh, mama! I know the struggles! We’re in a similar boat right now, it’s just the age, though. I responded to another person’s question about specifically what I’m doing with Mia right now at length, if you scroll through the comments you can find it pretty easily. :) I didn’t make it part of this video because A) the video would’ve been insanely long and B) she isn’t sleeping independently yet so I felt like her story is yet to be told. 😊 Perhaps a followup video for the near future!
@@HapaFamily I'll scroll, thank you!!!!
your baby likely just isn't ready to be sleeping on her own. in fact, developementally thats very normal-- as babies feel safest and sleep longer when they sleep near mama/papa. makes sense right? they are tiny and vulnerable. knowing that someone that feeds them and cares for them is helps them feel safe and relaxed and they sleep deeply. i can attest to this with my 2 kiddos. it's basic science and intuition and just pure love! don't feel bad about bed sharing :)
Cry it out is super counter-productive to trust. It's been scientifically proven over and over that children's stress level do not go down when the tears stop all your child learns is you won't help so in fact they are learning not to trust you... Just food for thought.
That’s such bs. I have 2 kids. One was a good sleeper, the other wasn’t. I let him cry it out after all his needs were met. He finally slept through the night at 18 months. Other than sleep, he was the happiest, easiest, funniest, smartest, most enjoyable child imaginable, and is now a successful adult with whom I have a close, loving relationship. There was never a trust issue.
@@lessehead so you're scientific data of 1 says that you know more than science. Good to know let's go tell the presses to ignore all scientific data cause one kid seemed to not be affected negatively. 🤔
@@andreapatterson1482 Babies need to learn to self soothe. The Ferber method is just a nice way of putting it. If patting them on the back and then walking away makes you feel better, then do it, but it’s for the parent, not the baby. After you have determined that your baby isn’t wet, hungry, or sick, there’s not a whole lot left that you can do. I never co-slept with my kids because I believed that everyone sleeps best when in their own sleep spaces. My kids loved their rooms, and I needed private time with my husband and a good night’s sleep! Parents today seem to be so paranoid about everything! Kids don’t remember what happened when they were a few months old, and they will not learn “not to trust you”. That is pure silliness!
@@lessehead All of this is based on outdated/ incorrect information.... Again I base my practice in peer reviewed up to date science...
@@andreapatterson1482 The Ferber method is not outdated. It is what pediatricians are advising parents to use with problem sleepers now, and parents are swearing by it. You are making this much more complicated than it needs to be. Whatever works!
Hi there! Thank you so much for this video. I am currently using a similar approach to put my baby (10 months old) to sleep in a Montessori bed. I sit in the middle of the room and sing a lullaby on repeat until she falls asleep. This happens pretty quickly. In about 5-10 mins. Then I leave the room. So that’s fine. The issue we have is that she wakes up multiple times per night and she is not able to fall back asleep on her own. And because the bed is on the floor, she crawls out of it and start wandering out of the room until we get there… what to do then?!?!
Yes to a sound machine and black out curtains! My baby doesn’t sleep 12 hours a night unless it’s DARK!!
Guys I have an 8 month old... please help. Ashley i’d appreciation if you updated this video to how you did it with Mia. I also have #2 on the way.
Great video and loved your strategies!
Thank you for sharing your experience. I have a quick question - how did you keep her contained when you were sitting next to her? My baby would crawl on me if I sit in the room. Also when you moved yourself out of the room with little door open, didn’t she try to come closer to the door to get out? Thanks
Hi. Did she not get out of bed all the time? If she did how did you stop her, how did you keep her in bed. What about waking up at night?
Thank you for the video. I really want to try this but I'm so scared. My baby has made a strong boob to sleep association and if I would put her in bed awake she would not only cry but scream her lungs out. 🙄
I'm interested to know about your bed time routine. We already have a bath after diner but she goes to sleep at a different time every night and if I try to put her down before she's ready she will wake soon after. She already wakes several times in the night sometimes every hour and I feel like I'm going crazy not to mention feeling like I'm failing motherhood hard.
Hey, guessing this got better. Can you please tell me how?
Following. How has it been going?
I’m a Nanny for Elite families, and their technique is always to set a sleep time, take them to bed, and leave them alone. They will end up falling asleep. Even if they cry they will stop and sleep. Eventually the cry stops (very fast actually).
You as parents don’t have to do this kind of sacrifice, you need to have your full recovery rest as well. Don’t take it to the limit when unnecessary
And at what age do they let their babies cry themselves to sleep? My parents would rock me to sleep, then pinch me awake when I went in the crib to cry it out. I was 6 weeks old and I would not recommend this to any parent. 6 months is probably more appropriate for this type of advice (don’t shake or pinch, it’s cruel). It would be more helpful if you were age specific.
That’s child neglect. Look up learned helplessness. It’s disgusting when an adult put the needs of someone so young and helpless at the bottom of the priority list. You ask for help. You don’t neglect your child. The long term damage to mental health is well documented. If you don’t to sacrifice then don’t be a parent. If you want to be a parent then adjust your expectations, be realistic, remember this is an infant or toddler who is struggling too, what makes their emotional well being less valuable than yours? And seek support when needed. Thankyou for being so transparent so I can avoid elite families nanny services.
Idk I just couldn’t do this yet with my 4 month old... he’s still to young IMO
Oh,thank you so much for this video...had no idea how i was going to sleep train my baby...i have a question though,when you were now sitting away from her and not holding her hand, what were you doing as she was crying?like were you looking at her smiling or were you giving your back at her?Maybe i missed the part...thank you for your response
Will you be enrolling your kids to a Montessori school? What do you think you will do once they get to high school and they have to enroll to a traditional school? I'm so interested in this type of child schooling. Thank you so much !! How do montessori kids get to college?
Thank you!
If y’all are looking for sleep help go to taking Cara babies
Thank you for sharing this!
I am so glad to have watched this video! Thank you so much! I have so many questions! I want to start this floor bed sleep method but my child is already 13 months! I am a shift worker, how would I make this work if my husband needs to put her to bed when I am not home? She goes to her grandparents during the day! Do we need to sleep train there too? Sleep training is a whole new challenge I was not prepared for. Ugh.
Hi! I just had a baby (she has almost 3 months) and it has been a journey. First I want to thank you for your videos, I really love them. For almost a month now, I cant put my baby to sleep during day time. She only sleeps on my lap or in the baby career :( I really do not know what to do. I already try routines, darken the room, let her cry a bit... nothing seems to work... do you have more ideias? Thank you for your advice :) keep the good work
My Montessori 5 yr old daughter is currently in a mode of having us read to her in bed, and then lights out... and then... we count to her to about 250. Yes, maybe that's unusual? :-) Over the past 18 months or so, as she's become more independent in her life, we've had her go to sleep on her own for phases, then reading and saying "good night" and off we go, to this new phase. I don't think it can be bad, as she is a very confident and happy child and likes her Montessori school days. We then think - "cool, she is sublimely learning counting to high numbers :-}... but it does seem soothing to her and she's out! You really need to work out your child's moods & phases and fears and wants, and hopefully, get it heading in the right direction? I know it will change again soon as it seems to over time depending on her desires. She sleeps on average about 11 hours a night (in fact, she is a monster without her solid sleep :-)... Good luck to anyone with a poor sleeper in trying to find the answer to their calmness.
Nurse to sleep is not a nasty sleep association. It’s very normal and biologically appropriate. They all stop nursing to sleep when they’re ready all on their own. Don’t need to fight it, that just creates a whole extra level of stress. If it doesn’t feel right it’s because it isn’t. When you take away nursing you lose your best and most reliable strategy to get them to sleep. So now you’re having to replace it with one thing and then another thing with all this effort that could’ve been saved, and not to mention zero crying. I’m so sorry you’ve been told nurse to sleep is bad for your child and that it influenced your journey. We all end up at the same end goal and we can all get there without the upset. Sleep is important yes but it’s not like they’re getting more sleep or Better sleep when sleeping alone, quite the opposite happens. Babies and toddlers are meant to and do wake frequently and nursing to sleep is what supports their development as it’s both nourishing and minimises time spent awake as they can re settle quickly.
I have a 27 month old who sucks his thumb to fall asleep. What recommendations would you give to help him ween off this habit?