I think about 50% of us aren't even close to having kids... 😂😂😂 Yet, the amount of information in your channel is sooo helpful, important and beautiful!
Yes!!! I’m in a pretty similar boat right now as you were in this video! I have two kids (one toddler and one 9 month baby) whom I fallen into the same rut of nursing to sleep. The first one still comes into my bed in the middle of the night. Very much hoping for an updated video of how Mia’s sleep training went!
Just a word of advice about the floor beds: Be sure to take opportunities to prop them (the mattresses) both up so the underside can air out. Having the mattresses directly on the floor without any kind of slats to raise them up and promote air flow can actually lead to mold growth. [Also remove any waterproof protectors you might use regularly; moisture can get trapped INSIDE and again, promote mold growth. I speak from experience.]
We live in a very dry climate, and Kylie has been on floor bed for 2 years without any mold issues. With that said, we do still check weekly each time we wash and change the sheets. :) However, for those of you who live in a wetter climate and have legitimate concerns about this, there are other options available to help raise the bed off the floor slightly to prevent this issue (while still keeping it as a floor bed). Here’s a great example of one that I would personally use if this were a concern: sprout-kids.com/products/low-montessori-floor-bed-for-toddlers Hope this helps! 😊
We have had a floor bed for 1.5 years, and last winter when our heating broke actually got a little mold on the walls around the windows. Never around the mattress tho. We air her room regularly, try to keep it at a stable temperature, and pick up the mattress weekly. Just keep an eye on it. Or a nose. The smell is the first to tell.
We did the Ferber method with our daughter at I think 6 months (let cry for 2 minutes, go check on her, let cry for 5 minutes, etc) and as hard as it was to let her cry, it helped to have a timer, like "ok only 3 more minutes and then I can go touch and sooth her" and within 2 or 3 days she was goimg to bed just fine, no crying 9 times out of 10. Now she's waking up a little earlier so blackout curtains seem like a good idea!
Checking for mom 7-8 times to make sure she’s still there outside the door. 😭 Why is that making me cry?!!!!! It’s so freaking cute and sweet and innocent. Little humans are so precious
I am so appreciative for you talking about your struggle with the sleep association. I too have struggled on and off with my daughter and breastfeeding to sleep. You come across as a very strong and “have it altogether” mom so it is so refreshing to hear you be real about the hard parts about being a mom..you help me feel like I am doing a better job than I think I am!! Thank you so much Ashley
This was seriously so helpful. My story fully with my baby. He’s almost 10 months and still sleeping in his bed in our room. I still nurse him to sleep everytime, I have to nurse him to nap and when he wakes up through the night he has to nurse in order to go back to sleep. Just stumbled upon Montessori and RIE and wanted to start implementing it into our lives. I love how this video (and honestly all of your videos) are very matter of fact and you aren’t put off with saying “yeah I nursed my baby to sleep” because it obviously isn’t ideal and sometimes it worries to let people know that. I find with other videos on babies sleep topic that what is shown is a baby being put down in their bed awake and that’s it. Very discouraging and makes you feel like you are alone in this. Only my baby won’t sooth himself to sleep type thing ya know. Anyways enough blabbing. Thank you so much!! So unbelievably helpful!
maria montessori was a trained doctor, an avid observer of children and a mother... all this combined makes me think she probably wouldn't support anything CLOSE to cry it out. todays psychologists and child development experts (even neuro-scientists!) speak widely on the benefits of attachement/relationship style sleeping where the child will feel the strongest bond with the parent, and develop into a more secure and independent person. there are many articles and even research that shows the harm of child isolation and cry-it-out methods. honestly, i don't think maria montessori would support something like this. this type of child independence is more of a modern, american convenience for parents i regret to say... it isn't necessarily the best thing for child development. i know many won't like what i'm saying, but it's in the data, in the research and in the hands of experts that study children, their brains, their development and their overall, long term growth and well being. here's one such example: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out
i have to mention this, too: my friend who was a montessori school guide (teacher) told me that sleep is taught by MODELING. the children and teacher would all lay down and the teacher would show the kids, essentially, how to fall asleep. this is cosleep, folks. this is how it works biologically and developmentally. montessori methods make sense, even though sleep wasn't exactly covered by maria, i think it goes without saying that we continue the method of supporting their learning by being present and modeling it for them. co-sleeping really does work that way!
Ann Betsa agree. She did the opposite of the cry out method. She didn’t leave her daughter to cry for hours on end. She did it in stages, allowed checking and provided support and comfort. Big difference to shutting the child away to cry for hours until they’re exhausted and fall asleep from that vs being tired.
We always wondered what and how we should break the sleep association and our presence in the room. But at some point we thought about our own childhood. We talked to our friends and almost all of them got up at night regularly and went to our parents bedroom, because we just didn't want to be alone at night. So it was settled, we did what most Scandinavian countries do and introduced a family bed. Now we all just sleep together in one large bed. Sure... it's not always super great for sleeping when our little one has a bad night, but we never wanted to go through the process of weaning him into being alone. Most adults don't like sleeping alone, so I feel it's a bit tough to demand that of a young human being. Anyways, your channel is inspiring and your approach to making montessori work is impressive. I wish I could be even a fraction as disciplined and structured about it. All the best for your, your family and you channel :)
I'm rewatching this video cause my baby is 6 months old, and sleeping in a floor bed...we tried putting her in her bed drowsy, it worked for exactly one day and now she'll just cry and fight her sleep with every ounce of energy she has left. My had for allowing her to form that habit, but when you're so exhausted and sleep deprived you whatever it takes to get your baby to sleep. I definitely want to keep trying, its just so much easier to let her fall asleep on the boob. Thank you again for leaving these videos up, im rewatching so many of them as my baby grows 😊
Happiest baby on the block book was a gane changer for my son. He was sleeping through the night by 12 weeks and I exclusively breastfed. He is still an amazing sleeper now at 16 months. He has been sleeping 12-13 hours per night since he was about 9 months old. He naps throughout the day on a set schedule. He is definitely the happiest baby on the block.
Regan, getting on a set schedule during the day for naps,feeding and play then bedtime helped. I made sure he nursed efficiently during the day. I was crazy about our schedule and routine which was a bit of a sacrifice but I wasn’t willing to live with the consequences of not sticking to it. It all happened together honestly...everything was in place and the baby was living harmonious. All his needs were met so he just didn’t need to wake up to eat. Black out curtains, swaddling and sound machine were major contributing factors.
Raishelle Meagher will you please share your schedule of day naps and feeding? I have a three month old, exclusive breastfeeding baby, I really need to put him to schedule for feeding more than anything. As of now he sleeps 8-9 hours at night!
I’m high school student (and certainly very far from having children) but I’m glad I’m discovering these methods! I’m glad there are videos like yours online that I can use in however many years when I do have kids :)
For those desperate parents watching this, one of the most important things you can do is diagnose why your child isn't sleeping. There are countless reasons. Before embarking on any strategy, get the why figured out. This could range from sleep associations, to sleep disturbances, restless leg/iron deficiency, or anxiety or not being tired due to the schedule you've set up. Some solutions work for one reason but are counterproductive to other reasons. Dr Ferber's book will help you diagnose these issues. Whether or not you follow his solutions is a personal choice, but the diagnosis part is very informative.
I love all of your videos! I’m 6 weeks pregnant (first time mom) and so happy to have found your channel. I have a passion for a Montessori teaching/parenting style and you’ve really helped me understand it better! Thank you so much!!!
My kids are 10 and 6 and I wish I had exposure to this content in my first pregnancy. You’re ahead of the game! Great channel and a beautiful philosophy.
Thank you for this video. I am a new mom with a 2 month old... Most videos I have seen so far are all sleep experts telling me how wrong I am for want to be with my baby when she sleeps. I also know I am not supposed to co sleep, but her crying breaks my heart and I'm constantly worried about her not feeding every 3 hrs. Eventually I know I have to let her sleep independently, but nursing her and letting her sleep next to me made me feel like she is a happy baby. I'm working on it, and I'm glad to hear I'm not alone in this.
I was lucky with mine. She started putting herself to sleep at around 6 months. I watched this for #2 which I will be breast feeding for much longer. I'm sure it will not be nearly as easy. Thanks for the content!
You are such a champion. Mentally filing this away for the future! Even though I don't have kids yet, I really love your videos because they are so thorough and easy to understand. Thank you for sharing all of your experiences!
One of my favorite videos on this channel. Sharing real struggles of parenthood. So many mom channels gaslight moms into thinking motherhood is pinterest perfect
I'm a new subscriber, this is the second video I watch and I have to say I feel tremendously identified and glad. I love I'm not the only one trying to raise a child this way. I'm still breastfeeding my 13 months old boy to help him sleep (we actually co-sleep) and I'm in the process of letting him on his own bed next to mine (not so easy). So thanks a lot for giving me ideas and hope! 🌺
Great Job Momma! You did it amazingly. I truly get the crying by your baby’s side and ultimately understanding that it’s our hearts that break more than theirs. I have an 8 month old son who can now sleep independently in his crib and want to transition him to napping on his floor mattress in his own room and I got a lot of inspiration from this video. Thank you!
Love the info needed a refresh to avoid errors in this trial time. My baby is 6 month old and he fall sleep by himself. Sometimes I miss him falling sleep in my arms but he dont like to cuddle to sleep. What really worked was weaning him off: make him fall sleep different positions on my arms then get him off my arms ... laying side by side. And finally off to the crib and holding his hand a few times until finally he is off on his own. I do the same for the pacifier. Sometimes I purposely dont give to him so when it's time he will be ready to drop as quick as within 2 weeks. This worked for my daughter. As of room ambience ... make everything very quiet (even if TV is on but VErY LOW, sometimes I need to turn off) lights off and comfortable temperature if possible and my beautiful lullaby ( same song same melody tells their brain time to turn off) . G L every one.
I’m SO appreciative for this video right now. Your daughter sounds exactly like mine with what we’ve been through (first time mom here who has done exactly as you described) but I’m late to the disassociation work, just starting at 17 months. I write this after a two hour session trying to go down for nap and feeling so heartbroken after she finally went to sleep. Evenings seem surprisingly ok with fighting sleep but not crying. However, naps seems to be horrible and the fighting of sleep, longer. Thank you for being another parent who talked about this and picked me back up in the middle of it (while enduring insane fires & COVID 🤯😭).
I am nursing to sleep since birth, too. But now she (15 months old) doesn't fall asleep that often and it took me aprox 1 hour to get her to sleep. Rocking, carrying, back to bed, waiting, crying, back in my arms and so on. I started with the bedtimestories as you mentioned in an other video, she still signaled me that she wants nursing. I have the feeling, that she uses me as a pacifier. I will try it again and again. I know my daughter needs time with it. For her nap, a book and carrying max. 5 minutes is all she needs there (did this for one month now). Hopefully we will get it till the end of the year. God luck with Mia's sleep 😉😘
Very reassuring video . Very similar to my journey . I weaned at almost 17 months . And I did the same method you did including putting him in a consistent night time routine. Now at 18 months we’re at a point where he’s sleeping for the whole night most nights but I do have to sit next to him to fall asleep. I would look into eventually gradually retreating but for now I’m in no rush as he’s an only child and this seems to be working right now . Thanks for sharing .
Dear Ashley, thank you for sharing your practices, stories and ideas. I can't express enough how much you helped me figured out what to do and why. You have a fantastic family. Much love from UK!
I liked your idea of the Montessori sleep approach so at around 18 months my son started sleeping in his own bed and we leave his door cracked open so he just wakes up in the morning and comes downstair with us when he's ready. Very cool concept!
As a new momma, I'm lucky that I have a fairly good sleeper, but I have to say I love watching your videos and have learned so much from you. I'm VERY new to this whole Montessori idea but I can already see my ideas of raising my son are diverging a LOT from non-montessori minded parents which is interesting. so, I guess I just want to say thank you again! You're a wonderful momma!
Thank you for making these videos. I found out a couple weeks ago that I’m pregnant and I’m really glad I found these and I’m glad I have this ability to prepare. I’m so excited to see your new content and I’m excited to learn from you, so, thank you :)
@@olgasavestheday I am paralyzed with fear at the thought of sleeping with my baby. We know from research that co sleeping and bed sharing can lead to death by SIDS. I can't get that statistical truth out of my head. I would be riddled with horrific guilt for the rest of my life if anything happened.
@@fighttheevilrobots3417 that's not true. in India we sleep with our babies and SIDS is almost unheard of. You will be there with your baby anytime they need you. It is relaxing for mom too as she doesn't have to go to her babies nursery again and again.
@@fighttheevilrobots3417 actually we know from researches that there is no danger, as long as all conditions are checked, like no smoking, no drugs, no obesity, no big comforter or blanket on the child, nor big pillows, sleep on a firm mattress (not a sofa or inflatable mattress). Extra rules for the first months : the baby should be near the mum who can check on her baby all night long even asleep, but not near the dad who has not the same instinct, the mum and the dad won't have the same blanket for the same reason. But that is true if you nurse your baby only
I would love a video on you sleep routine! My husband and I never had one as children and it feels like we are just constantly guessing trying to find something that works for our daughter. Thank you for making these videos! ❤️
Love your videos. Montessori at home with a 1yr 7 mo old and a 5 mo old is just as you mentioned, a CHALLENGE. Somehow listening to other parents, as yourself, helps me grab ideas on how and when to do certain activities, etc. So thank you. Also, you have a wonderful family , God bless youuu!
Hi Ashley! In Alex's room, there's only some plush toys and a few books, as you mentioned, I didn't want him to have too many toys to distract him from sleeping. We still use the white noise machine as well, it helps a lot during the day if there's any noise outside. I can imagine how you must've felt when you had to stop nursing Kylie. I am still nursing Alex at 21 months old and I get sad thinking that soon I am gonna have to stop nursing him. You are an amazing mom, Ashley! Mia and Kylie are so lucky to have you as their mom ❤️!
I cried MANY times after she was done, it was such a sad loss. 😞 My only good feeling about it was knowing it was entirely her choice. That certainly helped. Thank you so much for all of your support, you’re so sweet. 💕
Mmm.. I have to disagree with nursing to sleep being a "nasty" sleep association. It's completely normal and healthy.. though it does suck for us mamas lol. But I'm totally going to be trying these methods out because this mama has been trying to wean for about a year now. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
To wean my 15mo (I still dry nurse from time to time) it really helped that dad is now in charge of sleep. He puts her on his shoulder and she's right off to sleep! I got pregnant again when she was 10 months and a half and my production stopped a few weeks after that, plus my breasts got super sensitive... And she got SO mad that I had no milk. I hope you managed to wean! ♥️
I love nursing my 11 month old to sleep. It’s such a sweet time to snuggle up together and I watch his little body slow down and his eyes gently shut. Once he’s asleep I pick him up and rock him for a few moments and feel the full weight of his body before I lay him down. It’s so special to me as I know these special snuggles are limited and he’ll be a big boy very soon.
My 9 month old nurses to sleep (for all naps too!), and has a montessori nursery setup. We've tried so many sleep training methods but none have really worked. Going to try your method tonight *fingers crossed*. Thank you for making this video!
@@yuritzikhan4040 Hi! So it kind of works lol. I'm slowly working on it 😅. Details: it has only been working for naps, which is the easiest time for my son to fall asleep (probably because he's the most sleepy?). The first day, I let him nurse but when he was about to fall asleep I gave him a pacifier. The next day, I did not nurse but waited on his bed while he played all over the room. Finally when he was really tired (after 45 minutes!) he crawled to me...instead of boob, I stuck the pacifier in his mouth and he fell asleep right away. Now for naps, this is the routine. It still takes a long time and now he loves his pacifier. I answer emails on my phone while I wait. For nighttime, he still nurses to sleep. If I wait until he is tired, it takes 2-3 hours, and when he is super sleepy he scream cries and passes out face down on the bed or play mat. Baby steps I guess haha 🤷♀️ Good luck with your little one!
It is always very interesting to see how the sleep "issue" is solved in so many different ways. The ideal solution for us is co-sleeping with our 18month old toddler. I still nurse him to sleep, he still wakes up multiple times during the night. Anyways, since we sleep all in one bed, I don't even notice when he nurses during the night and we have a similar sleep to as it was before having a baby. 👣👶 Besides that, we love sleeping in one bed and enjoy the cuddles. I am excited to see where our journey leads us and how long we will continue to be breastfeeding. 😍 I love your channel and all the videos on the Montessori approach! They are so well researched and interesting! 🤓 Greetings from Germany. 🇩🇪
We're in the same boat. I would like to see her address the parents who still breastfeed their child at night. I haven't watched all her vids, but it seems like she stops breastfeeding early on. Is there a solution later on for when parents wing them off?
Check out Andrea Olsen at Go Diaper Free, she recommends weaning off nursing to sleep at daytime naps which will help baby wean off nursing at night. Baby will be able to go back to sleep themself without needing to nurse.
Reisetagebuch congratulations! I’m still co-sleeping with my 19 month old and 5 year old! I’ve been nursing for 5 years! Co-sleeping and child lead weaning has allowed us to sleep 8-9 hours every night. Rested parents = happy parents.
Reisetagebuch Thank you for sharing this 💕 I can relate to your comment more than this video because I’m currently bed sharing with my almost 6 month old and It works great for us. I’m just thinking it’s time I try to put us on a schedule rather than just going with the flow ( I’m struggling to have a productive schedule for myself because I don’t know when or how many naps, and some nights it’s harder to get her to sleep, even with nursing)
Thank you so much for sharing how you worked with your little. We are currently struggling to get our baby to fall asleep independently and this is so helpful! Thank you!
WOW! You are amazing! This is my second video and it has won me over. I love the method you used--you were very detailed in explaining how you achieved independent sleep in a very humane way. I can't wait to try this with my 7-month old. I feel so confident now after watching this that we will have the same success. Seriously, i've read and researched so much on sleep training and your experience is the best one i've come across. You have just earned a subscriber!!🥰
Hi! Would be really interesting to hear any updates about Mia's independent sleep situation! Hopefully, you plan on doing a similar video at some point in the future. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences as a mom, Ashley!
It is so reassuring to hear that you too started a bit later with Kylie cause my son is 6 months old now and I ran into your videos when started to explore the baby led weaning. No time for regret, but jumping into Montessori world💪🏻
Thank you for making this video, it finally made me to ''sleep train'' my 17m old daughter. I was against the ''cry it out'' method, so this video helped me a lot to finally take the step and start to help her to sleep better.
May I ask if you stopped breastfeeding or continued after your sleep training was all said and done? I want to sleep train my 16 month old, but not wean him. Not sure if it is possible...
With my second baby I did the "put down when still awake" method from day One 😂 because my First daughter learned to sleep completely alone at 5 y.o. 😱
I don’t think that’s what she is saying at all Nadia...I understand her statement completely. I screwed up my oldest child’s sleep in so many ways and he was also not able to fall asleep alone until close to 5 years old and struggled with sleep for a long time after that. So when my second son was born I did a lot of research and also did the awake to sleep. Not because I cared less but because I knew I needed to set my baby up for success and also not be a sleep deprived zombie myself.
I wished that worked for me. mine would pass out from trying and in the process smash her head on the crib I tried everything so I ended up co sleeping but she will only go to bed if I do. 😕
Teaching my baby to sleep independently was one of the most difficult things i ever did. I used the 'little ones baby sleep program' which is a no tears approach and we gradually trained her. By 11months she slept through on her own. There were still many ups and downs till about 13 months. But thats because of the wonderweeks or developmental leaps they go through. Not to mention teeeeeething and getting colds from daycare. Now that she is sleeping like a baby - im not! I now have sleep anxiety and insomnia. Hehe!
Ashley, thank you for the amazing videos, as always! Curious to know your "practices" with white noise machines. 1. Do you systematically use it? 2. If not, what is the "trigger" to using it? 3. Some online resources mention that it should not be used more than 2 hours a day as it may disrupt REM sleep. What are your thoughts on this? 4. Some online resources mention that it should not be more than 50dB. What are your thoughts on this? 5. Any other tips? Cheers from Tokyo, Japan!
Hi, You said in this video that you follow a sleeping routine every time before putting your daughter to sleep. Could you give an example of sleeping routine?
Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m in this situation right now, still nursing and cuddling my 14 month old to sleep and often struggling to put her down in bed for naps without her waking. After early failed attempts at other techniques, I made the conscious decision to use nursing and cuddling during her first year, as I felt it helped her feel secure and connected and was the best option for her at that time. But now I’m feeling like it’s time to change the habit, as it is becoming less effective, plus I have so little useable time during the day when she will only nap in my arms. And also, I can’t imagine trying for a second baby until she is settled into an independent sleep habit. A few times I have tried putting her in bed and staying with her in the hope she will fall asleep... but have given up when the crying went on for more than 15 minutes and continued to escalate. I had to pick her up and cuddle her, because I couldn’t handle seeing her so deeply distressed. Hearing your story has let me see it in a different way, as in letting her grieve and express her emotion over the change while still having the safety of mum being there. I have been searching endlessly for a gentle, cry-free way to change our habit, but after watching your video, I think I have to face the fact that the method you’ve described is the only way to help my toddler learn to fall asleep in her bed. I know she will cry, but I will have to live with it and be consistent. Again, thank you for sharing because it helps to know I’m not the first or the only one to deal with this.
Rebecca Keegel any update? I agree i hateee and strongly disagree with lock your kid up crying which they weep for hours I too will need to develop skills to enable baby to sleep either by themselves or at least wake less as LO is now moving and could be rather danageous as may fall off the bed ( we co sleep)
I do have an update... and I have time to write it now, after my 16 month old has settled to sleep in her cot! :) Lily Lebowsky, I’m not sure if much of this will be relevant for co-sleeping. But I thought I’ll share my story anyway, in the hope of it being helpful to someone somewhere. After watching this video, I started moving towards independent sleep with my daughter on September 14. The first time she fell asleep in the cot was on September 18. I could hardly believe it. She’s been doing this consistently for the last 8 days for bedtime and for the last 4 days for nap and night wakings. I still support her by sitting by the cot and offering hugs over the rail when prompted. I’m so proud of her and amazed we got this far in just two weeks. And with minimal crying at that. I thought it would take months. To get to this point, I made some changes to our routine, with the aim of a gentle approach that ‘follows the child’. It just happened to be good timing, as she was really receptive to it. I have to credit it to her for being ready to take this step. (I should mention that I had tried, when she was younger, to help her settle in the cot, but always had to give up quite soon as it was clearly not working for us. Now I know: she just wasn’t ready.) So, context: We used a traditional bassinet and now a cot in her own room. We had always assisted her to sleep, could never get her to settle in bed. She had been napping on me during the day since 6 months old (she would wake if I tried to put her down) and I could put her down asleep in the cot at night. Fast forward to a month ago, I was aware that cuddling, carrying, rocking, feeding her to sleep were all taking longer and becoming less effective. She would still nap on me but these naps were getting shorter and shorter. It would take over an hour to resettle her at night. We were both exhausted. I realised we needed to make some changes. So I took a step back, made some observations and created a plan of action. I tweaked many elements of our routine, including things related to communication, bath time, story time, sleep timing and goodnight rituals. The goal was to make all these things calmer and more relaxing for both of us. Which they are now. But the core issues I had to address were the breast feeding/sleep association and her discomfort around being awake in the cot. The first thing I wanted to do was move away from breast feeding her to sleep, so I changed the timing of the feed to earlier in the routine. She seemed happy enough with this, which surprised me. I suppose that milk as a sleep association for her had naturally decreased by this time. So I still feed her in the glider in her room, but I set a limit of about 15 minutes and tell her when time is nearly up and that she will hop into bed next. Now days, she is usually ready for the cot when I say this. So the next thing, the main thing, was how to get her into the cot without a complete meltdown. So I took the pressure off myself and her and decided to just practise. I gave her the opportunity to practise being in her cot, without the expectation of going to sleep. Up to that point, most of her experience of being in the cot was of waking up and crying. So I wanted to make it a more positive place for her, get her used to being in there without being immediately lifted out. So I did this by getting her ready for naps and bed time a little bit earlier. This allowed her time to just be in the cot while she was still happy and not too tired. I let her roll around, laugh and babble, stand up, sit down etc, while I just relaxed a bit in the glider. And I’d narrate to her, ‘You’re standing. Now you’re sitting. Oh, you’re lying down. You’re sitting again...’ I’d had a sort of epiphany that she didn’t necessarily know what I meant when I said ‘lie down’ or ‘rest’. After all, she had never willingly laid down! So I made a point to casually teach her the vocabulary, both in the cot and in playtime. I would lie on her play mat or the couch and say, ‘I’m tired, I’m lying down, I’m resting.’ And then, if she happened to lie down, even briefly, I’d say, ‘You’re lying down.’ She learned very quickly this way. It made the whole process easier once she could understand my words. So she would be happy practising being in her cot up to a point. After a while, of course, she would get really tired and start to fuss or cry. Then practice was over and she really had to sleep. So I decided on a very gentle approach, that was essentially led by her. I would sit right beside the cot. If she was just fussing or winding down, I would give her a hug over the cot rail if she wanted it and tell her ‘It’s time to rest. You are safe in your bed. You can lie down. You can rest your head here,’ and I’d gently tap the mattress. But if she started crying, really crying to the point I knew that she would not settle and needed help to calm, then I would lift her out and cuddle her to sleep as she was used to. I wanted her to feel supported and secure and not create any more negative feelings about the cot. I did worry I might be lifting her out for months, but I figured I’d been cuddling her before anyway. But, as it turned out, I did not have to lift her out for months. Within four days, she did indeed rest her head and go to sleep. So I truly believe that she was just ready to move forward with this. My approach all her life has been ‘She’ll do it when she’s ready’ and ‘If she is crying for help, I will give her help. If she needs me, I’ll be there’. And so now, after all the frustrations, all the waiting, all the worrying, analysing, cuddling, and 3am feeds, I feel a massive relief that what I kept telling myself has worked out for us. I’m not going to say it was easy. I have agonised over her sleep more often than I can say. Last week, I was crying on my husband’s shoulder over all of this. It has not been easy, but it has been so worth it to see her finally reach this milestone without having to force it on her. I’m so proud of her and so proud of myself for keeping my faith in her. We still have a way to go, but this has been a huge step forward.
Greetings! I believe Maria Montessori intended to give a little independence to Italian children, even just to let them have some physical space around them, as we all know Italian mothers generally were not famous for teaching their children to be independent before the age of 30..and even then.. I do find the method fascinating and helpful! Independent sleep I believe is a different business, encouraging is great but I think a child can sleep alone when the child is ready and feels safe. To the pretty lady: thanks for the videos! :)
I found your channel recently- while researching different discipline ideas for my 1.5 year old! I absolutely love your channel! Loving the montessori parenting approach, and it has been working great with my son so far! Thanks for all your help! I also have a youtube channel, but I dont make any videos in regards to parenting styles- so I really appreciate that about your channel!
And each kid is different! My daughter stayed in the bed with us (in a snuggle nest for safety) for 2 months, then was in her crib in her own room. My son stayed in our bed for 5 months, and is now in a crib in our room. I don't want to move him into the nursery yet for a couple reasons: he still wakes up 2-3 times a night to nurse and I don't want him to wake my daughter. Also, it will be a new adjustment and right now I'm still basking in the victory of getting him comfortably in the crib. Finally, my daughter loves her brother but has struggled with his arrival. I think the change would be hard for her. It's literally just trial and error with kids! :)
Can I just say, I like you SO much! You’re knowledgeable, welcoming and validating of others’ parenting experiences. I’m 20 weeks pregnant and so grateful I came across your videos. They’ve had a huge impact on my plans to parent. Thanks for making these concepts so accessible! You mentioned your tot can leave the room whenever she wants. We intend to do a floor bed from infancy (initially sleeping in our room with a bassinet). I kind of assumed that I’d have a child proofing device on the doorknob to ensure baby stays in their safe environment. I live in a three storey townhome, so the stairs and amount of distance away I could be from baby’s room are part of my concern. Additionally, I don’t trust my cat not to smother baby in their sleep (out of love, hate, or some combination of the two!). Any thoughts on this?
Jo I know that Ashley puts a child gate on the outside of the door at night. So while Kylie can leave her bed and open the door, she cannot actually leave her room. Hope this helps, and congrats on the new little one! 😊
Hi Jo! Thanks so much! My toddler no longer has a gate at her door, as the other person mentioned... that was only when she was much younger. (The gate is now actually on our infant's door so that Kylie cannot get into it without us at night). Our bedroom floor has a permanent gate at the top of the stairs, so there's not much for her to do except wander into our room (which is what she always does if she leaves her own room). Nothing wrong with the lock on the door from the outside, though, if that's the only option you feel is safest (especially with your cat). :)
Hapa Family My mistake! I just recently discovered your channel so I’ve been binge watching all your old videos 😂 Learning about Montessori is so interesting and I would like to implement it when I become a mama someday and maybe in the classroom when I become a teacher! Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful family with us- I look forward to watching new videos! 😊
Hi there! Thanks for your great videos ! They are so helpful. I’m wondering more about achieving independent sleep with a Montessori floor bed set up. My 7 month old seems to get separation anxiety when I leave the room and crawls around the room crying until I come in. This can go on for quite some time too. She even goes to the door. It’s heart breaking and I can’t find any information out there for sleep training in a Montessori bedroom. I was wondering if you had any more information in addition to what you mentioned in this video. I am also doing this “gradual further away” method and letting her cry it out within reason. It’s heartbreaking and I find myself seeking more guidance for sleep training in a Montessori environment. Thank you so much!!
Nursing to sleep is not a horrible thing. It’s natural. I’ve successfully been able to do this with two kids so far. Eventually by 12-16 months they sleep on their own ❤️
I agree. I've always nursed mine to sleep and two of them coslept with me until later in toddlerhood. They want to nurse to sleep because it's comfort for them, they aren't even hungry usually, and it shouldn't be viewed as a bad habit. It's natural. It's security.
@chattykathy can you give some tips about nap time? Currently nursing to sleep for bed time... which is ok w me. But need to rock and baby wear for naps. Can’t get anything done.
@@Mei-gg1ns I would change their diaper, nurse them in their room instead of other parts of the house so they knew it was sleep time, lay them down and close the door to where I had a half a foot opening (the door open was signal to them for awake time and mostly closed meant sleep time but not closed to where they felt alone). This took a week or two for each of them to get used to and I’d have to go in a couple times in the beginning to quietly lay them back down when they called for me if they didn’t fall asleep while nursing. After that I was able to nurse and lay them down and they’d put themselves to sleep. Night time is different I always nurse them to sleep.
When you sit in the room away from the bed, what do you do when the child comes to you? My daughter likes to play in her bed or in the room and fights sleep.
I saw your videos and tried my 2 yo to sleep independently last night. And we did it !!! I am soo happy she slept 10 hours, she did cries at 4:30, 5:30 and 7:00, first two times I didn’t go coz she stopped within a minute, however at 7:00 she cried much more so I went to her room and lay next to her for about 5 minutes and left her asleep again. I would like to ask if she cries similarly, should I wait for her to cone out of bed to put her back or just go while she’s still on the bed to reassure her?
I love your videos! I'm a first time mom and my son is 4 months old. I'm learning so much and I love that Mia is a month older than my son it helps give me ideas on what to do. How do you put Mia to sleep?
Thanks so much for watching, I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying the videos! My sleep approach with Mia is currently “under construction”, lol, but what I’m doing at the moment is nursing her until she’s very sleepy and then putting her down in her bed. On occasion, she fusses for a few minutes (which I allow as long as it’s not hard crying), but usually she’ll fall asleep within a reasonable amount of time on her own. 😊👍🏻
Our baby sleeps with us in our bed during the night, but we can't stay with her when she naps during the day (3 times). If she stayed close to me, she would have far too many stimuli to be able to fall asleep.
Fithrildith that’s interesting. My baby is actually the opposite. I let him cuddle and stay with me for most day time naps but he sleeps in his own bed at night. He is also only 7 weeks and I know as he gets older and naps less frequent, we will have him also nap on his own.
I feel that it’s important to establish independence and it’s important that they sleep in there own space so that they get there best sleep and you get your best sleep
sabine meyer I was wondering the same ... I have been co sleeping with my baby since he was born , and always nurse him to sleep as that is what he wants to do ... they won’t need our help for long ... we should just follow they lead
I would say for my family the pros are: sleeping through the night, for parents and baby. My kids are kids that NEED a lot of sleep, so because we gently sleep trained, they have never gotten out of bed to come to us, they sleep through the night unless sick, too wet of diaper, or still feeding in the night as an infant. Also, I am a thrasher in my sleep and my husband is a very large man who sleeps through chainsaws, so it's also a matter of safety.
I'm about to start weaning my 20 month old from nursing in the morning and night before my next baby is due in April. I'm so nervous about the night one!! She already falls asleep by herself in her crib after she nurses, but it's still a huge part of our bedtime routine that helps her wind down and gives comfort. Hopefully it won't be as difficult for her as I'm thinking it will!
Wow beautiful baby ! God blessed me and Idk who needed to see this but progesterone cream helped with my unexplainable miscarriages! May God bless everyone !!
Cry it out is super counter-productive to trust. It's been scientifically proven over and over that children's stress level do not go down when the tears stop all your child learns is you won't help so in fact they are learning not to trust you... Just food for thought.
That’s such bs. I have 2 kids. One was a good sleeper, the other wasn’t. I let him cry it out after all his needs were met. He finally slept through the night at 18 months. Other than sleep, he was the happiest, easiest, funniest, smartest, most enjoyable child imaginable, and is now a successful adult with whom I have a close, loving relationship. There was never a trust issue.
@@lessehead so you're scientific data of 1 says that you know more than science. Good to know let's go tell the presses to ignore all scientific data cause one kid seemed to not be affected negatively. 🤔
@@andreapatterson1482 Babies need to learn to self soothe. The Ferber method is just a nice way of putting it. If patting them on the back and then walking away makes you feel better, then do it, but it’s for the parent, not the baby. After you have determined that your baby isn’t wet, hungry, or sick, there’s not a whole lot left that you can do. I never co-slept with my kids because I believed that everyone sleeps best when in their own sleep spaces. My kids loved their rooms, and I needed private time with my husband and a good night’s sleep! Parents today seem to be so paranoid about everything! Kids don’t remember what happened when they were a few months old, and they will not learn “not to trust you”. That is pure silliness!
@@andreapatterson1482 The Ferber method is not outdated. It is what pediatricians are advising parents to use with problem sleepers now, and parents are swearing by it. You are making this much more complicated than it needs to be. Whatever works!
Wow thank u for this video might train my 5mo old twins since for now I only nurse them to sleep or my husband will hold one till she fell asleep, they wake up 2 to 3 times at night to feed
My daughter was always a good sleeper and by 6 months was sleeping through the night. But we also used formula which helps them sleep longer, and used blackout curtains and a noise machine and pacifier. All those things seemed to really facilitate sleep for her.
Just FYI formula doesn’t mean they sleep longer, sleep is unique for each baby. My son was exclusively breastfed until 6 months and we started feeding formula at night to try to help sleep better and it made zero difference. I wish I hadn’t followed that advice because it messed with my breastfeeding. Some babies just need to wake up multiple times a night for a long time and start sleeping through the night way later, into toddlerhood. It’s normal and shouldn’t be rushed or forced.
I am curious to know what exactly you are doing with your youngest to encourage independent sleep. I am due with my first child in november and would like to avoid the crib altogether and am curious to know how it is going for you 😊 thanks!
It seems crazy to people from other countries but in Denmark everyone puts their baby outside in the pram for sleeping in the daytime. Our son is 3 months and he will fall asleep independently in the pram with no issues meaning no need for walking or rocking but just placing in and leaving immediately. I think it helps to feel the fresh air and babies are used to sleeping in the stroller when walking.
I heard of it! Does seem crazy but on reflection - I love sleeping in the garden! I guess it's the fresh air and noise - it's much noisier outside than in house. It works for my kids too, although I heard that you put them outside in winter too and I wasn't brave enough to try it then (not to attract social services too lol)
Thank you!!! My daughter is extremely familiar with choices - what to wear, what to eat, what to play… etc. I never thought to offer her a choice at bedtime. This is brilliant. Thank you so much!! I am very grateful to have a plan that is not going to involve either of us crying. 🤍
I would love your help on how you approach Mia's sleep this time around. I have a 7 month old in a floor bed and we struggle with her sleep. she fights sleep unless I hold her until she is basically asleep. she is only sleeping throughout the night for 3 hours at a time. I'd love some advice. btw I always look forward to all your videos. you are amazing!
I have a question! What do you do if they get out of bed and come to you? Do I put him back into bed? Do I hold him? (I used to cuddle/rock him to sleep) This video it’s going to be so helpful. I have a nine month old and sleeping is a hard one. I just end up climbing into bed next to him until he falls asleep. I’m going to try the slow moving away.
Hi Ashley. You mention in the video that when you started teaching your daughter to sleep by herself, you did it gradually: you set down next to the bed, then in the centre of the room, then farther away. My question is: when you were sitting in the middle of the room didn't she come to you? Did you have to take her back to the bed or how did it work exactly? Thank you.
Incredibly hepful and reassuring video! Thank you so much for sharing. We have a 16 month old boy and he stil cant fall asleep independantly. What you did to help Kylie learn to fall asleep is very simiar to the chair method which I was considering to start doing very soon. I like the idea of a floor bed, but I think it would make the process much more difficult as I am sure my boy will keep getting up. How did you cope with that when you moved further away from her bed?
I think about 50% of us aren't even close to having kids... 😂😂😂
Yet, the amount of information in your channel is sooo helpful, important and beautiful!
In case no one has told you today,
You are a great Mom ❤️
Thanks, Haley. 😊
I'd love to see an updated version of everything you learned in round 2 with Mia!! Xxo
Yassss pleaseee 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Me too .... im so tired
Yes please!
Yes!!! I’m in a pretty similar boat right now as you were in this video! I have two kids (one toddler and one 9 month baby) whom I fallen into the same rut of nursing to sleep. The first one still comes into my bed in the middle of the night. Very much hoping for an updated video of how Mia’s sleep training went!
Please do!
Just a word of advice about the floor beds:
Be sure to take opportunities to prop them (the mattresses) both up so the underside can air out. Having the mattresses directly on the floor without any kind of slats to raise them up and promote air flow can actually lead to mold growth. [Also remove any waterproof protectors you might use regularly; moisture can get trapped INSIDE and again, promote mold growth. I speak from experience.]
We live in a very dry climate, and Kylie has been on floor bed for 2 years without any mold issues. With that said, we do still check weekly each time we wash and change the sheets. :) However, for those of you who live in a wetter climate and have legitimate concerns about this, there are other options available to help raise the bed off the floor slightly to prevent this issue (while still keeping it as a floor bed). Here’s a great example of one that I would personally use if this were a concern: sprout-kids.com/products/low-montessori-floor-bed-for-toddlers Hope this helps! 😊
We have had a floor bed for 1.5 years, and last winter when our heating broke actually got a little mold on the walls around the windows. Never around the mattress tho. We air her room regularly, try to keep it at a stable temperature, and pick up the mattress weekly. Just keep an eye on it. Or a nose. The smell is the first to tell.
So true. Idk why nobody talk about it !!
A mattress need air under it. Humans sweat so much during sleep.
Sound advice! 🙏
We did the Ferber method with our daughter at I think 6 months (let cry for 2 minutes, go check on her, let cry for 5 minutes, etc) and as hard as it was to let her cry, it helped to have a timer, like "ok only 3 more minutes and then I can go touch and sooth her" and within 2 or 3 days she was goimg to bed just fine, no crying 9 times out of 10.
Now she's waking up a little earlier so blackout curtains seem like a good idea!
Checking for mom 7-8 times to make sure she’s still there outside the door. 😭 Why is that making me cry?!!!!! It’s so freaking cute and sweet and innocent. Little humans are so precious
Me tooo 😢
I am so appreciative for you talking about your struggle with the sleep association. I too have struggled on and off with my daughter and breastfeeding to sleep. You come across as a very strong and “have it altogether” mom so it is so refreshing to hear you be real about the hard parts about being a mom..you help me feel like I am doing a better job than I think I am!! Thank you so much Ashley
This was seriously so helpful. My story fully with my baby. He’s almost 10 months and still sleeping in his bed in our room. I still nurse him to sleep everytime, I have to nurse him to nap and when he wakes up through the night he has to nurse in order to go back to sleep. Just stumbled upon Montessori and RIE and wanted to start implementing it into our lives. I love how this video (and honestly all of your videos) are very matter of fact and you aren’t put off with saying “yeah I nursed my baby to sleep” because it obviously isn’t ideal and sometimes it worries to let people know that. I find with other videos on babies sleep topic that what is shown is a baby being put down in their bed awake and that’s it. Very discouraging and makes you feel like you are alone in this. Only my baby won’t sooth himself to sleep type thing ya know. Anyways enough blabbing. Thank you so much!! So unbelievably helpful!
maria montessori was a trained doctor, an avid observer of children and a mother... all this combined makes me think she probably wouldn't support anything CLOSE to cry it out. todays psychologists and child development experts (even neuro-scientists!) speak widely on the benefits of attachement/relationship style sleeping where the child will feel the strongest bond with the parent, and develop into a more secure and independent person. there are many articles and even research that shows the harm of child isolation and cry-it-out methods. honestly, i don't think maria montessori would support something like this. this type of child independence is more of a modern, american convenience for parents i regret to say... it isn't necessarily the best thing for child development. i know many won't like what i'm saying, but it's in the data, in the research and in the hands of experts that study children, their brains, their development and their overall, long term growth and well being. here's one such example: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out
Agreed to this comment! In my country bonding is very important.
i have to mention this, too: my friend who was a montessori school guide (teacher) told me that sleep is taught by MODELING. the children and teacher would all lay down and the teacher would show the kids, essentially, how to fall asleep. this is cosleep, folks. this is how it works biologically and developmentally. montessori methods make sense, even though sleep wasn't exactly covered by maria, i think it goes without saying that we continue the method of supporting their learning by being present and modeling it for them. co-sleeping really does work that way!
greatCabbageAge238 wait. She didn't use the cry it out method did she? Thought she stayed with the child until the child fell asleep ?
Thanks for sharing this article!
Ann Betsa agree. She did the opposite of the cry out method.
She didn’t leave her daughter to cry for hours on end.
She did it in stages, allowed checking and provided support and comfort.
Big difference to shutting the child away to cry for hours until they’re exhausted and fall asleep from that vs being tired.
We always wondered what and how we should break the sleep association and our presence in the room. But at some point we thought about our own childhood. We talked to our friends and almost all of them got up at night regularly and went to our parents bedroom, because we just didn't want to be alone at night. So it was settled, we did what most Scandinavian countries do and introduced a family bed. Now we all just sleep together in one large bed. Sure... it's not always super great for sleeping when our little one has a bad night, but we never wanted to go through the process of weaning him into being alone. Most adults don't like sleeping alone, so I feel it's a bit tough to demand that of a young human being. Anyways, your channel is inspiring and your approach to making montessori work is impressive. I wish I could be even a fraction as disciplined and structured about it. All the best for your, your family and you channel :)
I'm rewatching this video cause my baby is 6 months old, and sleeping in a floor bed...we tried putting her in her bed drowsy, it worked for exactly one day and now she'll just cry and fight her sleep with every ounce of energy she has left. My had for allowing her to form that habit, but when you're so exhausted and sleep deprived you whatever it takes to get your baby to sleep. I definitely want to keep trying, its just so much easier to let her fall asleep on the boob. Thank you again for leaving these videos up, im rewatching so many of them as my baby grows 😊
Happiest baby on the block book was a gane changer for my son. He was sleeping through the night by 12 weeks and I exclusively breastfed. He is still an amazing sleeper now at 16 months. He has been sleeping 12-13 hours per night since he was about 9 months old. He naps throughout the day on a set schedule. He is definitely the happiest baby on the block.
Raishelle Meagher how did you get him to sleep through the night being breastfed?
Regan, getting on a set schedule during the day for naps,feeding and play then bedtime helped. I made sure he nursed efficiently during the day. I was crazy about our schedule and routine which was a bit of a sacrifice but I wasn’t willing to live with the consequences of not sticking to it. It all happened together honestly...everything was in place and the baby was living harmonious. All his needs were met so he just didn’t need to wake up to eat. Black out curtains, swaddling and sound machine were major contributing factors.
Raishelle Meagher will you please share your schedule of day naps and feeding? I have a three month old, exclusive breastfeeding baby, I really need to put him to schedule for feeding more than anything. As of now he sleeps 8-9 hours at night!
I’m high school student (and certainly very far from having children) but I’m glad I’m discovering these methods! I’m glad there are videos like yours online that I can use in however many years when I do have kids :)
For those desperate parents watching this, one of the most important things you can do is diagnose why your child isn't sleeping. There are countless reasons. Before embarking on any strategy, get the why figured out. This could range from sleep associations, to sleep disturbances, restless leg/iron deficiency, or anxiety or not being tired due to the schedule you've set up. Some solutions work for one reason but are counterproductive to other reasons. Dr Ferber's book will help you diagnose these issues. Whether or not you follow his solutions is a personal choice, but the diagnosis part is very informative.
I love all of your videos! I’m 6 weeks pregnant (first time mom) and so happy to have found your channel. I have a passion for a Montessori teaching/parenting style and you’ve really helped me understand it better! Thank you so much!!!
My kids are 10 and 6 and I wish I had exposure to this content in my first pregnancy. You’re ahead of the game! Great channel and a beautiful philosophy.
Thank you for this video. I am a new mom with a 2 month old... Most videos I have seen so far are all sleep experts telling me how wrong I am for want to be with my baby when she sleeps. I also know I am not supposed to co sleep, but her crying breaks my heart and I'm constantly worried about her not feeding every 3 hrs. Eventually I know I have to let her sleep independently, but nursing her and letting her sleep next to me made me feel like she is a happy baby. I'm working on it, and I'm glad to hear I'm not alone in this.
I was lucky with mine. She started putting herself to sleep at around 6 months. I watched this for #2 which I will be breast feeding for much longer. I'm sure it will not be nearly as easy. Thanks for the content!
You are such a champion. Mentally filing this away for the future! Even though I don't have kids yet, I really love your videos because they are so thorough and easy to understand. Thank you for sharing all of your experiences!
One of my favorite videos on this channel. Sharing real struggles of parenthood. So many mom channels gaslight moms into thinking motherhood is pinterest perfect
Your channel is amazing and really helpful and still up to date in 2022! Thanks for all this content and advices.
I'm a new subscriber, this is the second video I watch and I have to say I feel tremendously identified and glad. I love I'm not the only one trying to raise a child this way. I'm still breastfeeding my 13 months old boy to help him sleep (we actually co-sleep) and I'm in the process of letting him on his own bed next to mine (not so easy). So thanks a lot for giving me ideas and hope! 🌺
Great Job Momma! You did it amazingly. I truly get the crying by your baby’s side and ultimately understanding that it’s our hearts that break more than theirs.
I have an 8 month old son who can now sleep independently in his crib and want to transition him to napping on his floor mattress in his own room and I got a lot of inspiration from this video. Thank you!
Love the info needed a refresh to avoid errors in this trial time. My baby is 6 month old and he fall sleep by himself. Sometimes I miss him falling sleep in my arms but he dont like to cuddle to sleep. What really worked was weaning him off: make him fall sleep different positions on my arms then get him off my arms ... laying side by side. And finally off to the crib and holding his hand a few times until finally he is off on his own. I do the same for the pacifier. Sometimes I purposely dont give to him so when it's time he will be ready to drop as quick as within 2 weeks. This worked for my daughter. As of room ambience ... make everything very quiet (even if TV is on but VErY LOW, sometimes I need to turn off) lights off and comfortable temperature if possible and my beautiful lullaby ( same song same melody tells their brain time to turn off) . G L every one.
Omg ! I have a 11 month baby and I nurse to sleep .. I am sooo tired ! Will try your method sounds good , I don’t like the cry out . Thank u
I’m SO appreciative for this video right now. Your daughter sounds exactly like mine with what we’ve been through (first time mom here who has done exactly as you described) but I’m late to the disassociation work, just starting at 17 months. I write this after a two hour session trying to go down for nap and feeling so heartbroken after she finally went to sleep. Evenings seem surprisingly ok with fighting sleep but not crying. However, naps seems to be horrible and the fighting of sleep, longer. Thank you for being another parent who talked about this and picked me back up in the middle of it (while enduring insane fires & COVID 🤯😭).
I am nursing to sleep since birth, too. But now she (15 months old) doesn't fall asleep that often and it took me aprox 1 hour to get her to sleep. Rocking, carrying, back to bed, waiting, crying, back in my arms and so on. I started with the bedtimestories as you mentioned in an other video, she still signaled me that she wants nursing. I have the feeling, that she uses me as a pacifier. I will try it again and again. I know my daughter needs time with it. For her nap, a book and carrying max. 5 minutes is all she needs there (did this for one month now).
Hopefully we will get it till the end of the year.
God luck with Mia's sleep 😉😘
Very reassuring video . Very similar to my journey . I weaned at almost 17 months . And I did the same method you did including putting him in a consistent night time routine. Now at 18 months we’re at a point where he’s sleeping for the whole night most nights but I do have to sit next to him to fall asleep. I would look into eventually gradually retreating but for now I’m in no rush as he’s an only child and this seems to be working right now . Thanks for sharing .
Dear Ashley, thank you for sharing your practices, stories and ideas. I can't express enough how much you helped me figured out what to do and why. You have a fantastic family. Much love from UK!
Thank you! I have a baby on the way and was already thinking about this, it's perfect. I love peaceful parenting xx
I liked your idea of the Montessori sleep approach so at around 18 months my son started sleeping in his own bed and we leave his door cracked open so he just wakes up in the morning and comes downstair with us when he's ready. Very cool concept!
As a new momma, I'm lucky that I have a fairly good sleeper, but I have to say I love watching your videos and have learned so much from you. I'm VERY new to this whole Montessori idea but I can already see my ideas of raising my son are diverging a LOT from non-montessori minded parents which is interesting. so, I guess I just want to say thank you again! You're a wonderful momma!
I don’t have kids nor plan on having one anytime soon, but I loveeee watching all your videos. Not only it calms me down, but I learn a lot from you!
Thank you for making these videos. I found out a couple weeks ago that I’m pregnant and I’m really glad I found these and I’m glad I have this ability to prepare. I’m so excited to see your new content and I’m excited to learn from you, so, thank you :)
My personal preference is to sleep with my baby it's alot more natural and comforting for baby and mum.
same. best sleep we've all ever had! it's so much easier and sweeter and makes for great sleepers!
Yes I was thinking the same think
@@olgasavestheday I am paralyzed with fear at the thought of sleeping with my baby. We know from research that co sleeping and bed sharing can lead to death by SIDS. I can't get that statistical truth out of my head. I would be riddled with horrific guilt for the rest of my life if anything happened.
@@fighttheevilrobots3417 that's not true. in India we sleep with our babies and SIDS is almost unheard of. You will be there with your baby anytime they need you. It is relaxing for mom too as she doesn't have to go to her babies nursery again and again.
@@fighttheevilrobots3417 actually we know from researches that there is no danger, as long as all conditions are checked, like no smoking, no drugs, no obesity, no big comforter or blanket on the child, nor big pillows, sleep on a firm mattress (not a sofa or inflatable mattress). Extra rules for the first months : the baby should be near the mum who can check on her baby all night long even asleep, but not near the dad who has not the same instinct, the mum and the dad won't have the same blanket for the same reason. But that is true if you nurse your baby only
I would love a video on you sleep routine! My husband and I never had one as children and it feels like we are just constantly guessing trying to find something that works for our daughter. Thank you for making these videos! ❤️
Love your videos. Montessori at home with a 1yr 7 mo old and a 5 mo old is just as you mentioned, a CHALLENGE. Somehow listening to other parents, as yourself, helps me grab ideas on how and when to do certain activities, etc. So thank you. Also, you have a wonderful family , God bless youuu!
Hi Ashley! In Alex's room, there's only some plush toys and a few books, as you mentioned, I didn't want him to have too many toys to distract him from sleeping. We still use the white noise machine as well, it helps a lot during the day if there's any noise outside. I can imagine how you must've felt when you had to stop nursing Kylie. I am still nursing Alex at 21 months old and I get sad thinking that soon I am gonna have to stop nursing him. You are an amazing mom, Ashley! Mia and Kylie are so lucky to have you as their mom ❤️!
I cried MANY times after she was done, it was such a sad loss. 😞 My only good feeling about it was knowing it was entirely her choice. That certainly helped. Thank you so much for all of your support, you’re so sweet. 💕
Mmm.. I have to disagree with nursing to sleep being a "nasty" sleep association. It's completely normal and healthy.. though it does suck for us mamas lol. But I'm totally going to be trying these methods out because this mama has been trying to wean for about a year now. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I meant “nasty” as in a VERY strong association, not gross. 😊 I agree that it is 100% healthy and normal! 👍🏻
@@HapaFamily oh ok 😂 I was gonna say. I was really shocked when you said that. 😂
I probably should have worded it differently, lol. Thanks for watching!
To wean my 15mo (I still dry nurse from time to time) it really helped that dad is now in charge of sleep. He puts her on his shoulder and she's right off to sleep! I got pregnant again when she was 10 months and a half and my production stopped a few weeks after that, plus my breasts got super sensitive... And she got SO mad that I had no milk. I hope you managed to wean! ♥️
I love nursing my 11 month old to sleep. It’s such a sweet time to snuggle up together and I watch his little body slow down and his eyes gently shut. Once he’s asleep I pick him up and rock him for a few moments and feel the full weight of his body before I lay him down. It’s so special to me as I know these special snuggles are limited and he’ll be a big boy very soon.
Thanks for this video! I'm in the same boat, cosleeping and feeding to sleep because it's what worked. But, it's time for a change. Going to try this!
Anyone else noticed she said “the new normal” a year before covid? Prophetic
My 9 month old nurses to sleep (for all naps too!), and has a montessori nursery setup. We've tried so many sleep training methods but none have really worked. Going to try your method tonight *fingers crossed*. Thank you for making this video!
Hello! I have a 1 year old. I was wondering did this work for you? My daughter also nurses to sleep and nap 😅
@@yuritzikhan4040 Hi! So it kind of works lol. I'm slowly working on it 😅. Details: it has only been working for naps, which is the easiest time for my son to fall asleep (probably because he's the most sleepy?). The first day, I let him nurse but when he was about to fall asleep I gave him a pacifier. The next day, I did not nurse but waited on his bed while he played all over the room. Finally when he was really tired (after 45 minutes!) he crawled to me...instead of boob, I stuck the pacifier in his mouth and he fell asleep right away. Now for naps, this is the routine. It still takes a long time and now he loves his pacifier. I answer emails on my phone while I wait. For nighttime, he still nurses to sleep. If I wait until he is tired, it takes 2-3 hours, and when he is super sleepy he scream cries and passes out face down on the bed or play mat. Baby steps I guess haha 🤷♀️ Good luck with your little one!
Question: What did you do when Kylie woke up in the middle of the night and you weren't there? And did that even happen?
I have the same concern!!
It is always very interesting to see how the sleep "issue" is solved in so many different ways. The ideal solution for us is co-sleeping with our 18month old toddler. I still nurse him to sleep, he still wakes up multiple times during the night. Anyways, since we sleep all in one bed, I don't even notice when he nurses during the night and we have a similar sleep to as it was before having a baby. 👣👶 Besides that, we love sleeping in one bed and enjoy the cuddles. I am excited to see where our journey leads us and how long we will continue to be breastfeeding. 😍 I love your channel and all the videos on the Montessori approach! They are so well researched and interesting! 🤓 Greetings from Germany. 🇩🇪
We're in the same boat. I would like to see her address the parents who still breastfeed their child at night. I haven't watched all her vids, but it seems like she stops breastfeeding early on. Is there a solution later on for when parents wing them off?
Check out Andrea Olsen at Go Diaper Free, she recommends weaning off nursing to sleep at daytime naps which will help baby wean off nursing at night. Baby will be able to go back to sleep themself without needing to nurse.
Reisetagebuch congratulations! I’m still co-sleeping with my 19 month old and 5 year old! I’ve been nursing for 5 years! Co-sleeping and child lead weaning has allowed us to sleep 8-9 hours every night. Rested parents = happy parents.
Reisetagebuch Thank you for sharing this 💕 I can relate to your comment more than this video because I’m currently bed sharing with my almost 6 month old and It works great for us. I’m just thinking it’s time I try to put us on a schedule rather than just going with the flow ( I’m struggling to have a productive schedule for myself because I don’t know when or how many naps, and some nights it’s harder to get her to sleep, even with nursing)
@@kias7791 This is amazing. We love co-sleeping with our little one. It makes everything so easy.
Thank you so much for sharing how you worked with your little. We are currently struggling to get our baby to fall asleep independently and this is so helpful! Thank you!
WOW! You are amazing! This is my second video and it has won me over. I love the method you used--you were very detailed in explaining how you achieved independent sleep in a very humane way. I can't wait to try this with my 7-month old. I feel so confident now after watching this that we will have the same success. Seriously, i've read and researched so much on sleep training and your experience is the best one i've come across. You have just earned a subscriber!!🥰
Hi! Would be really interesting to hear any updates about Mia's independent sleep situation! Hopefully, you plan on doing a similar video at some point in the future.
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences as a mom, Ashley!
Yes, ill be waiting for thar too. Thanks!
It is so reassuring to hear that you too started a bit later with Kylie cause my son is 6 months old now and I ran into your videos when started to explore the baby led weaning. No time for regret, but jumping into Montessori world💪🏻
Thank you for making this video, it finally made me to ''sleep train'' my 17m old daughter. I was against the ''cry it out'' method, so this video helped me a lot to finally take the step and start to help her to sleep better.
I love your sleep training. I also did a slow transition with my son with sleep and breastfeeding. I feel it's so much better for them emotionally
May I ask if you stopped breastfeeding or continued after your sleep training was all said and done? I want to sleep train my 16 month old, but not wean him. Not sure if it is possible...
Following
You are a beautiful Mother ❤️
With my second baby I did
the "put down when still awake" method from day One 😂 because my First daughter learned to sleep completely alone at 5 y.o. 😱
I don’t think that’s what she is saying at all Nadia...I understand her statement completely. I screwed up my oldest child’s sleep in so many ways and he was also not able to fall asleep alone until close to 5 years old and struggled with sleep for a long time after that. So when my second son was born I did a lot of research and also did the awake to sleep. Not because I cared less but because I knew I needed to set my baby up for success and also not be a sleep deprived zombie myself.
I tried to do that from day 1 as well. She would wake up every time, other times just fuss/cry in her bed... solution still to be found 😅
I wished that worked for me. mine would pass out from trying and in the process smash her head on the crib I tried everything so I ended up co sleeping but she will only go to bed if I do. 😕
Teaching my baby to sleep independently was one of the most difficult things i ever did. I used the 'little ones baby sleep program' which is a no tears approach and we gradually trained her. By 11months she slept through on her own. There were still many ups and downs till about 13 months. But thats because of the wonderweeks or developmental leaps they go through. Not to mention teeeeeething and getting colds from daycare. Now that she is sleeping like a baby - im not! I now have sleep anxiety and insomnia. Hehe!
Thank you so much for this. My 13 month old little boy is on the road to falling asleep with me next to him by his crib, and not being held.
Ashley, thank you for the amazing videos, as always!
Curious to know your "practices" with white noise machines.
1. Do you systematically use it?
2. If not, what is the "trigger" to using it?
3. Some online resources mention that it should not be used more than 2 hours a day as it may disrupt REM sleep. What are your thoughts on this?
4. Some online resources mention that it should not be more than 50dB. What are your thoughts on this?
5. Any other tips?
Cheers from Tokyo, Japan!
Right now I'm doing what you did! Great advise without leaving her!
Hi,
You said in this video that you follow a sleeping routine every time before putting your daughter to sleep. Could you give an example of sleeping routine?
Hello! 👋🏻 Thanks for watching! Our bedtime routine is typically dinner, bath, pjs/brush teeth, bedtime stories, and lights out. :)
Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m in this situation right now, still nursing and cuddling my 14 month old to sleep and often struggling to put her down in bed for naps without her waking.
After early failed attempts at other techniques, I made the conscious decision to use nursing and cuddling during her first year, as I felt it helped her feel secure and connected and was the best option for her at that time. But now I’m feeling like it’s time to change the habit, as it is becoming less effective, plus I have so little useable time during the day when she will only nap in my arms. And also, I can’t imagine trying for a second baby until she is settled into an independent sleep habit.
A few times I have tried putting her in bed and staying with her in the hope she will fall asleep... but have given up when the crying went on for more than 15 minutes and continued to escalate. I had to pick her up and cuddle her, because I couldn’t handle seeing her so deeply distressed. Hearing your story has let me see it in a different way, as in letting her grieve and express her emotion over the change while still having the safety of mum being there. I have been searching endlessly for a gentle, cry-free way to change our habit, but after watching your video, I think I have to face the fact that the method you’ve described is the only way to help my toddler learn to fall asleep in her bed. I know she will cry, but I will have to live with it and be consistent.
Again, thank you for sharing because it helps to know I’m not the first or the only one to deal with this.
Rebecca Keegel any update?
I agree i hateee and strongly disagree with lock your kid up crying which they weep for hours
I too will need to develop skills to enable baby to sleep either by themselves or at least wake less as LO is now moving and could be rather danageous as may fall off the bed ( we co sleep)
I do have an update... and I have time to write it now, after my 16 month old has settled to sleep in her cot! :)
Lily Lebowsky, I’m not sure if much of this will be relevant for co-sleeping. But I thought I’ll share my story anyway, in the hope of it being helpful to someone somewhere.
After watching this video, I started moving towards independent sleep with my daughter on September 14. The first time she fell asleep in the cot was on September 18. I could hardly believe it. She’s been doing this consistently for the last 8 days for bedtime and for the last 4 days for nap and night wakings. I still support her by sitting by the cot and offering hugs over the rail when prompted. I’m so proud of her and amazed we got this far in just two weeks. And with minimal crying at that. I thought it would take months.
To get to this point, I made some changes to our routine, with the aim of a gentle approach that ‘follows the child’. It just happened to be good timing, as she was really receptive to it. I have to credit it to her for being ready to take this step.
(I should mention that I had tried, when she was younger, to help her settle in the cot, but always had to give up quite soon as it was clearly not working for us. Now I know: she just wasn’t ready.)
So, context:
We used a traditional bassinet and now a cot in her own room. We had always assisted her to sleep, could never get her to settle in bed. She had been napping on me during the day since 6 months old (she would wake if I tried to put her down) and I could put her down asleep in the cot at night.
Fast forward to a month ago, I was aware that cuddling, carrying, rocking, feeding her to sleep were all taking longer and becoming less effective. She would still nap on me but these naps were getting shorter and shorter. It would take over an hour to resettle her at night. We were both exhausted. I realised we needed to make some changes.
So I took a step back, made some observations and created a plan of action. I tweaked many elements of our routine, including things related to communication, bath time, story time, sleep timing and goodnight rituals. The goal was to make all these things calmer and more relaxing for both of us. Which they are now. But the core issues I had to address were the breast feeding/sleep association and her discomfort around being awake in the cot.
The first thing I wanted to do was move away from breast feeding her to sleep, so I changed the timing of the feed to earlier in the routine. She seemed happy enough with this, which surprised me. I suppose that milk as a sleep association for her had naturally decreased by this time. So I still feed her in the glider in her room, but I set a limit of about 15 minutes and tell her when time is nearly up and that she will hop into bed next. Now days, she is usually ready for the cot when I say this.
So the next thing, the main thing, was how to get her into the cot without a complete meltdown. So I took the pressure off myself and her and decided to just practise. I gave her the opportunity to practise being in her cot, without the expectation of going to sleep.
Up to that point, most of her experience of being in the cot was of waking up and crying. So I wanted to make it a more positive place for her, get her used to being in there without being immediately lifted out. So I did this by getting her ready for naps and bed time a little bit earlier. This allowed her time to just be in the cot while she was still happy and not too tired. I let her roll around, laugh and babble, stand up, sit down etc, while I just relaxed a bit in the glider. And I’d narrate to her, ‘You’re standing. Now you’re sitting. Oh, you’re lying down. You’re sitting again...’
I’d had a sort of epiphany that she didn’t necessarily know what I meant when I said ‘lie down’ or ‘rest’. After all, she had never willingly laid down! So I made a point to casually teach her the vocabulary, both in the cot and in playtime. I would lie on her play mat or the couch and say, ‘I’m tired, I’m lying down, I’m resting.’ And then, if she happened to lie down, even briefly, I’d say, ‘You’re lying down.’ She learned very quickly this way. It made the whole process easier once she could understand my words.
So she would be happy practising being in her cot up to a point. After a while, of course, she would get really tired and start to fuss or cry. Then practice was over and she really had to sleep. So I decided on a very gentle approach, that was essentially led by her.
I would sit right beside the cot. If she was just fussing or winding down, I would give her a hug over the cot rail if she wanted it and tell her ‘It’s time to rest. You are safe in your bed. You can lie down. You can rest your head here,’ and I’d gently tap the mattress. But if she started crying, really crying to the point I knew that she would not settle and needed help to calm, then I would lift her out and cuddle her to sleep as she was used to. I wanted her to feel supported and secure and not create any more negative feelings about the cot. I did worry I might be lifting her out for months, but I figured I’d been cuddling her before anyway. But, as it turned out, I did not have to lift her out for months. Within four days, she did indeed rest her head and go to sleep.
So I truly believe that she was just ready to move forward with this. My approach all her life has been ‘She’ll do it when she’s ready’ and ‘If she is crying for help, I will give her help. If she needs me, I’ll be there’. And so now, after all the frustrations, all the waiting, all the worrying, analysing, cuddling, and 3am feeds, I feel a massive relief that what I kept telling myself has worked out for us. I’m not going to say it was easy. I have agonised over her sleep more often than I can say. Last week, I was crying on my husband’s shoulder over all of this. It has not been easy, but it has been so worth it to see her finally reach this milestone without having to force it on her. I’m so proud of her and so proud of myself for keeping my faith in her. We still have a way to go, but this has been a huge step forward.
I would love an update video on how you encouraged independent sleep with Meah and what that looked like!
Did she ever make an updated version with strategies for Mia?
Greetings! I believe Maria Montessori intended to give a little independence to Italian children, even just to let them have some physical space around them, as we all know Italian mothers generally were not famous for teaching their children to be independent before the age of 30..and even then.. I do find the method fascinating and helpful! Independent sleep I believe is a different business, encouraging is great but I think a child can sleep alone when the child is ready and feels safe. To the pretty lady: thanks for the videos! :)
Please do a video on how you manage sleep with Mia! Thank you xx
would love to have a video about your bedtime routine.
I found your channel recently- while researching different discipline ideas for my 1.5 year old! I absolutely love your channel! Loving the montessori parenting approach, and it has been working great with my son so far! Thanks for all your help! I also have a youtube channel, but I dont make any videos in regards to parenting styles- so I really appreciate that about your channel!
And each kid is different! My daughter stayed in the bed with us (in a snuggle nest for safety) for 2 months, then was in her crib in her own room. My son stayed in our bed for 5 months, and is now in a crib in our room. I don't want to move him into the nursery yet for a couple reasons: he still wakes up 2-3 times a night to nurse and I don't want him to wake my daughter. Also, it will be a new adjustment and right now I'm still basking in the victory of getting him comfortably in the crib. Finally, my daughter loves her brother but has struggled with his arrival. I think the change would be hard for her. It's literally just trial and error with kids! :)
Can I just say, I like you SO much! You’re knowledgeable, welcoming and validating of others’ parenting experiences. I’m 20 weeks pregnant and so grateful I came across your videos. They’ve had a huge impact on my plans to parent. Thanks for making these concepts so accessible!
You mentioned your tot can leave the room whenever she wants. We intend to do a floor bed from infancy (initially sleeping in our room with a bassinet). I kind of assumed that I’d have a child proofing device on the doorknob to ensure baby stays in their safe environment. I live in a three storey townhome, so the stairs and amount of distance away I could be from baby’s room are part of my concern. Additionally, I don’t trust my cat not to smother baby in their sleep (out of love, hate, or some combination of the two!). Any thoughts on this?
Jo I know that Ashley puts a child gate on the outside of the door at night. So while Kylie can leave her bed and open the door, she cannot actually leave her room. Hope this helps, and congrats on the new little one! 😊
Hi Jo! Thanks so much! My toddler no longer has a gate at her door, as the other person mentioned... that was only when she was much younger. (The gate is now actually on our infant's door so that Kylie cannot get into it without us at night). Our bedroom floor has a permanent gate at the top of the stairs, so there's not much for her to do except wander into our room (which is what she always does if she leaves her own room). Nothing wrong with the lock on the door from the outside, though, if that's the only option you feel is safest (especially with your cat). :)
Hapa Family My mistake! I just recently discovered your channel so I’ve been binge watching all your old videos 😂 Learning about Montessori is so interesting and I would like to implement it when I become a mama someday and maybe in the classroom when I become a teacher! Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful family with us- I look forward to watching new videos! 😊
Hi there! Thanks for your great videos ! They are so helpful. I’m wondering more about achieving independent sleep with a Montessori floor bed set up. My 7 month old seems to get separation anxiety when I leave the room and crawls around the room crying until I come in. This can go on for quite some time too. She even goes to the door. It’s heart breaking and I can’t find any information out there for sleep training in a Montessori bedroom. I was wondering if you had any more information in addition to what you mentioned in this video. I am also doing this “gradual further away” method and letting her cry it out within reason. It’s heartbreaking and I find myself seeking more guidance for sleep training in a Montessori environment. Thank you so much!!
I like how you love and teach ur kids 😍😍 sending hug from Indonesia 😍
I hope I can be the best mother for my lil one
Thank you for this advice. I would like to ask how do you put your little one for a naps.
Your babies are so adorable 😍 💕 and look very intelligent.
Nursing to sleep is not a horrible thing. It’s natural. I’ve successfully been able to do this with two kids so far. Eventually by 12-16 months they sleep on their own ❤️
I agree. I've always nursed mine to sleep and two of them coslept with me until later in toddlerhood. They want to nurse to sleep because it's comfort for them, they aren't even hungry usually, and it shouldn't be viewed as a bad habit. It's natural. It's security.
@chattykathy can you give some tips about nap time? Currently nursing to sleep for bed time... which is ok w me. But need to rock and baby wear for naps. Can’t get anything done.
@@emilygeorge5988 what do you do for nap time? Need help! Thanks!
@@Mei-gg1ns I would change their diaper, nurse them in their room instead of other parts of the house so they knew it was sleep time, lay them down and close the door to where I had a half a foot opening (the door open was signal to them for awake time and mostly closed meant sleep time but not closed to where they felt alone). This took a week or two for each of them to get used to and I’d have to go in a couple times in the beginning to quietly lay them back down when they called for me if they didn’t fall asleep while nursing. After that I was able to nurse and lay them down and they’d put themselves to sleep. Night time is different I always nurse them to sleep.
When you sit in the room away from the bed, what do you do when the child comes to you? My daughter likes to play in her bed or in the room and fights sleep.
I saw your videos and tried my 2 yo to sleep independently last night. And we did it !!! I am soo happy she slept 10 hours, she did cries at 4:30, 5:30 and 7:00, first two times I didn’t go coz she stopped within a minute, however at 7:00 she cried much more so I went to her room and lay next to her for about 5 minutes and left her asleep again.
I would like to ask if she cries similarly, should I wait for her to cone out of bed to put her back or just go while she’s still on the bed to reassure her?
Looooooved that video!!!!!
When Mia went to check if you were still outside the door, how did she check? And did you put her back in the bed or she went back on her own?
Just found your channel and I am in love! The amount of information is amazing for this ftm ☺️ thank you so much!
I watched this video a year ago because I love Montessori. Now I’m watching because I love Montessori but my little boy is here and I need help! 🥰
Totally want to know how things went with Mia!
Thank you! Really appreciate ur content! 💓 can u plz have a separate video on independent sleep for babies. Thatsnk you xx
I love your videos! I'm a first time mom and my son is 4 months old. I'm learning so much and I love that Mia is a month older than my son it helps give me ideas on what to do. How do you put Mia to sleep?
Thanks so much for watching, I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying the videos! My sleep approach with Mia is currently “under construction”, lol, but what I’m doing at the moment is nursing her until she’s very sleepy and then putting her down in her bed. On occasion, she fusses for a few minutes (which I allow as long as it’s not hard crying), but usually she’ll fall asleep within a reasonable amount of time on her own. 😊👍🏻
@@HapaFamily that's what I do with my baby. She is about to be 1 year old and this method actually works perfect for us.
Why should babies sleep by themselves? What's the benefit for children in being alone instead of cuddling and staying close to mum and/or dad?
Our baby sleeps with us in our bed during the night, but we can't stay with her when she naps during the day (3 times). If she stayed close to me, she would have far too many stimuli to be able to fall asleep.
Fithrildith that’s interesting. My baby is actually the opposite. I let him cuddle and stay with me for most day time naps but he sleeps in his own bed at night. He is also only 7 weeks and I know as he gets older and naps less frequent, we will have him also nap on his own.
I feel that it’s important to establish independence and it’s important that they sleep in there own space so that they get there best sleep and you get your best sleep
sabine meyer I was wondering the same ... I have been co sleeping with my baby since he was born , and always nurse him to sleep as that is what he wants to do ... they won’t need our help for long ... we should just follow they lead
I would say for my family the pros are: sleeping through the night, for parents and baby. My kids are kids that NEED a lot of sleep, so because we gently sleep trained, they have never gotten out of bed to come to us, they sleep through the night unless sick, too wet of diaper, or still feeding in the night as an infant. Also, I am a thrasher in my sleep and my husband is a very large man who sleeps through chainsaws, so it's also a matter of safety.
I'm about to start weaning my 20 month old from nursing in the morning and night before my next baby is due in April. I'm so nervous about the night one!! She already falls asleep by herself in her crib after she nurses, but it's still a huge part of our bedtime routine that helps her wind down and gives comfort. Hopefully it won't be as difficult for her as I'm thinking it will!
whatgwenloves Then... why not just let her wean when she’s ready?
Just asking.
You can always breastfeed both children.
@@estefaniaibanezreyes4078 no emotionally I could not do that.
Wow beautiful baby ! God blessed me and Idk who needed to see this but progesterone cream helped with my unexplainable miscarriages! May God bless everyone !!
Cry it out is super counter-productive to trust. It's been scientifically proven over and over that children's stress level do not go down when the tears stop all your child learns is you won't help so in fact they are learning not to trust you... Just food for thought.
That’s such bs. I have 2 kids. One was a good sleeper, the other wasn’t. I let him cry it out after all his needs were met. He finally slept through the night at 18 months. Other than sleep, he was the happiest, easiest, funniest, smartest, most enjoyable child imaginable, and is now a successful adult with whom I have a close, loving relationship. There was never a trust issue.
@@lessehead so you're scientific data of 1 says that you know more than science. Good to know let's go tell the presses to ignore all scientific data cause one kid seemed to not be affected negatively. 🤔
@@andreapatterson1482 Babies need to learn to self soothe. The Ferber method is just a nice way of putting it. If patting them on the back and then walking away makes you feel better, then do it, but it’s for the parent, not the baby. After you have determined that your baby isn’t wet, hungry, or sick, there’s not a whole lot left that you can do. I never co-slept with my kids because I believed that everyone sleeps best when in their own sleep spaces. My kids loved their rooms, and I needed private time with my husband and a good night’s sleep! Parents today seem to be so paranoid about everything! Kids don’t remember what happened when they were a few months old, and they will not learn “not to trust you”. That is pure silliness!
@@lessehead All of this is based on outdated/ incorrect information.... Again I base my practice in peer reviewed up to date science...
@@andreapatterson1482 The Ferber method is not outdated. It is what pediatricians are advising parents to use with problem sleepers now, and parents are swearing by it. You are making this much more complicated than it needs to be. Whatever works!
this is a really great job!
Wow thank u for this video might train my 5mo old twins since for now I only nurse them to sleep or my husband will hold one till she fell asleep, they wake up 2 to 3 times at night to feed
We did the same thing night weajing wise, fed with lights on and just sat by her bed for weeks as she fell asleep x
This is such a great approach ! Thank you, keep the videos on this topic coming.
My daughter was always a good sleeper and by 6 months was sleeping through the night. But we also used formula which helps them sleep longer, and used blackout curtains and a noise machine and pacifier. All those things seemed to really facilitate sleep for her.
Just FYI formula doesn’t mean they sleep longer, sleep is unique for each baby. My son was exclusively breastfed until 6 months and we started feeding formula at night to try to help sleep better and it made zero difference. I wish I hadn’t followed that advice because it messed with my breastfeeding. Some babies just need to wake up multiple times a night for a long time and start sleeping through the night way later, into toddlerhood. It’s normal and shouldn’t be rushed or forced.
@@emily_heyerhome Im sorry that it didn't work out for you. I am just sharing what worked for our family. I hope you are doing well now!
I am curious to know what exactly you are doing with your youngest to encourage independent sleep. I am due with my first child in november and would like to avoid the crib altogether and am curious to know how it is going for you 😊 thanks!
I would love details on how you took the slats out of the ikea bed. Also what mattress do you use?
It seems crazy to people from other countries but in Denmark everyone puts their baby outside in the pram for sleeping in the daytime. Our son is 3 months and he will fall asleep independently in the pram with no issues meaning no need for walking or rocking but just placing in and leaving immediately. I think it helps to feel the fresh air and babies are used to sleeping in the stroller when walking.
I heard of it! Does seem crazy but on reflection - I love sleeping in the garden! I guess it's the fresh air and noise - it's much noisier outside than in house. It works for my kids too, although I heard that you put them outside in winter too and I wasn't brave enough to try it then (not to attract social services too lol)
oh man i feel Kylie's weening phase - doing this with my daughter too.
Thank you!!! My daughter is extremely familiar with choices - what to wear, what to eat, what to play… etc. I never thought to offer her a choice at bedtime. This is brilliant. Thank you so much!! I am very grateful to have a plan that is not going to involve either of us crying. 🤍
I would love your help on how you approach Mia's sleep this time around. I have a 7 month old in a floor bed and we struggle with her sleep. she fights sleep unless I hold her until she is basically asleep. she is only sleeping throughout the night for 3 hours at a time. I'd love some advice. btw I always look forward to all your videos. you are amazing!
Thanks for this video. What would you do if she kept getting up? Just lay her back down?
I have a question! What do you do if they get out of bed and come to you? Do I put him back into bed? Do I hold him? (I used to cuddle/rock him to sleep)
This video it’s going to be so helpful. I have a nine month old and sleeping is a hard one. I just end up climbing into bed next to him until he falls asleep. I’m going to try the slow moving away.
Hi Ashley. You mention in the video that when you started teaching your daughter to sleep by herself, you did it gradually: you set down next to the bed, then in the centre of the room, then farther away. My question is: when you were sitting in the middle of the room didn't she come to you? Did you have to take her back to the bed or how did it work exactly? Thank you.
Incredibly hepful and reassuring video! Thank you so much for sharing.
We have a 16 month old boy and he stil cant fall asleep independantly. What you did to help Kylie learn to fall asleep is very simiar to the chair method which I was considering to start doing very soon. I like the idea of a floor bed, but I think it would make the process much more difficult as I am sure my boy will keep getting up. How did you cope with that when you moved further away from her bed?
We need an update to this!!
Thank you so much!! How long would you hang out outside of the door??