How to Forgive Someone Who Wronged You - Jordan Peterson
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- Опубліковано 2 кві 2023
- Speaker: Jordan Peterson
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The narcissist will never go there. He would never humble himself enough to admit he was wrong and would rather pair with the new person who still says he is wonderful. So there is that situation where you have to rebuild alone.
He didn't have tiniest bit of shame for what he did to me. But he begged the other one. (One of his reasons for cheating me was : our families wouldn't agree, so with her he had that chance. I still try to make sense why he only begged her and didn't even say sorry to me after I pleaded him for just sorry just sorry)
@@tehreem1725 He is weak plain and simple. The narcissist always blames the victim and makes the victim/the victim’s family not good enough. In reality the narcissist is literally the most soulless evil individual- pure malevolence as Dr. Peterson would say.
I read it with "She" since I have seen this treat mostly by females.
*She/he, as they're not all males and they're now finding out more that a lot of female borderline personality disorder diagnosis were actually covert narcissism and thus why they've updated the DSM.
@@watchwoman16 yes so the question is. Why he begged the other new woman? also she forgave him
Wow.
I have never heard anyone put that much responsibility on the offender. It is a breath of fresh air.
I know right we have always been taught in school to forgive unconditionaly no matter how swere the crime is
It just makes you look weak and pathetic
Why would blaming the "victim" be appropriate ? Ps: it almost never works out, once trust is broken it's almost impossible to get that back simply because you are being asked to trust a person who had no problem with betraying you.
Hmmmmmmmm.
It's silly advice because perpetrators almost never 'confess' and ask for forgiveness, so if your ability to get out from under that hurt, depends on some jerk WAKING UP to the pain he/she caused, you might as well get used to being their victim forever. Like my 84 year old mother is still the victim of her now dead ex, who was a drunk, abusive and left her with two very small children to raise on her own. The mention of his name and she gets worked up and angry still to this day even though he left 60 years ago.
@@ddhqj2023it doesn't play the part where he mentions it's very unlikely.
People have fears and weaknesses. Many people would rather lose a relationship than admit their fears and confess their weaknesses.
Yeah...
lol thats most women with accountability
@@Golden_Ghoul that's about men - they would rather die than show their mistake or apologize
@@E-plunksna that's about everyone - nobody likes admitting that they did something bad
@@E-plunksna stop fighting you clowns
Full forgiveness requires full confession.
Don’t hold your breath on that one. They have to first admit to themselves that they even did anything wrong…😂
Not gonna happen
This is about a couple too.
How about a sibling? One who talks or yells at you when you don’t follow their “Rule book of life”. You’ve never seen this book, it most likely is not written down anywhere. They’ll say what they like, yell and the next day, they’re all better. They will see you or call you in a few days, as though the incident didn’t happen. They were verbally out of control and they certainly don’t believe they deserve any consequence or believe they did any wrongdoing.
After this has happened in teen yrs, early adulthood, and forward, you have to make a decision. They are toxic, they won’t change. Stay away from them.
Yes. His description of this theoretical 'apology* sounds more like a justification of the perpetrator's wrongdoing. Kind of Disgusting.
(I don't often disagree with Jordan.)
I think you got this a bit wrong. He doesn't say what IS going to happen, but what HAS to happen, in order to be able to build another, totally new relationship with that person
@@bogdan_n Thank you for this clarification, I get it.
He masters language like very few. Best communicator ever
there has been others, ya need more education
@@flymoolahman2763 excuse me you dont know anything about my education Its not your place to comment on that
Lot of people don't take notice of stuff like that because of how easy it sounds. Wish my vocabulary was better because I always say that- a strong broad vocabulary is so powerful! I know that's just a small part of it, Jordan really does use language so well!
@@flymoolahman2763don't be a jackass
It is called true repentance when someone will detail all the ways they sinned against you. It is miraculous when it happens and compels you to forgive them. It takes humility on both sides.
Wow, did that to my ex and I was the one that left her. I still did the most detailed apology for my poor actions. Most exes beg to get back and she didn't
@@sirprize5191what was the case?
@@googleaccount4997 basic things actually
How about addressing reality? How do you forgive those who will NEVER admit what they have done to you?!?!?
@@runpurebloodrun2355 Addressing reality is acknowledging there are people that will NEVER admit any wrong. Forgiveness is for your own heart and healing. Life long bitterness has its own consequences physically and spiritually. Remaining bitter is like drinking poison and hoping it kills your enemy.
There’s forgiveness and then there’s trust, I can forgive for inner peace, but I don’t know if I could trust again.
I feel the same way I can forgive. But the trust has to be earned again. And some people don't even know They did anything wrong
@@joannelauer1372 I choose not to forgive and not to forget. Forgiveness and trust on a long enough timeline allows you to get comfortable with this person or people again. Getting comfortable opens up the potential for these "snakes to bite you again" so to speak. Then the blame can't be on them. And that makes it much harder to forgive yourself because deep down you knew it would happen, deep down you expected to happen, and then it did. Why waste your time? I had someone who did me very, very wrong. I'll never forgive her, and I'll never forget. Recently she wrote me apologizing, saying she misses me, and claims to still love me. I read the message, blocked the account, and went on about my day as if nothing happened because nothing did happen.
you tell them that so they have the opportunity the rebuild the broken trust
@@joannelauer1372 They definitely know, but won't admit it.
That's rare. Only a child of God would do.
and that my friends is the narrow road
I prefer the middle path. It's the hardest sometimes to start. But it's never-ending and ultimately easiest, in my opinion.
@@dakotapeters5654 There is no middle road. There is the right (narrow) road and the wrong (broad) road. There is no “easier” road. Paraphrasing Jesus, He said My path is narrow, few will find it. Broad is the path that leads to destruction, many will find it. In another verse He said that you are either for me or against me. Also, that whoever is lukewarm, He will spew them out of His mouth! There is no gray area with Jesus. No easier road.
@Terry Wade I don't follow just 1 no matter who it is nobody is more important than everybody else. Just my opinion. However, not ridiculing any beliefs either. I often have to change my mind frame and imagine myself as God or a higher power... I then ask myself, what would I create humans and earth and everything else for,what's the purpose, what would I want from, or for my creation. 🤷♂️ 🤷♀️ well, I then compare his creations as a creator to all the other creations from other creators. I think they love what they do, and because they love it, the energy stays with the creations, which is proven. Moreover, if I were to create a creation I loved so much, I made it in my image and capable of creating more creations itself... I'd want it to be happy and love the same as I do. (Go forth and multiply?) Besides all that, when the forbidden fruit is literally the -fruit of "knowledge of good and evil"... kinda gotta wonder 🤔 doesn't that quote mean that the one thing that he didn't want is for us to have knowledge about good and evil right or wrong, etc... It seems fishy that if God didn't want us to have that knowledge, Jesus would up and contradict it... then I wonder more and more... why is it that God didn't want us to have the knowledge of good and evil? Let's look at many other beliefs. See what matches up and fits snug. Omg, right and wrong, good and evil don't exist except for in the mind. They are merely concepts we humans make up to dictate that we are better than someone else when we want our way or someone else is in the wrong when we don't get our way... lol, lots of love, brother. Hopefully, I didn't make an enemy of ya. I'd love for anyone to be able to be my friend. In my eyes, if you're not against me or with me, I'm still me. Maybe those who aren't with me will come around. They say, "What comes around goes around." I'm sure that the cycle never ends. History may eventually become herstory, and then who knows it could be mystory, but for now, it's just mystery.
@@dakotapeters5654it's why His thinking is not our thinking. Your mind can never fully comprehend God. You can however know and learn about God. If we knew everything, we'd be God. But we're humans. Only capable of learning what God gave us to learn.
@@dakotapeters5654Nobody likes having fake friends. God doesn't like having fake Christians. He loves them, but wants genuineness more than anyone in the universe.
Peterson MUST BE PROTECTED by any & all means.
@@echaleagua MoFos like u. Who can't see why & from what.
@@icantstandyouyesYOU cringe
he's just a man
But having a narcissist confess and acknowledge your emotions over the betrayal and to apologize sincerely, and change behaviors almost is impossible 😢
@qualitu
My narc sister has a newfound strategy to cling onto me with her intention to use me while playing dominance. She confesses manipulatively by claiming that she is trying (I don't know what she is trying and I do not care).
@@amandaa3713 Yeah, this is how deep narcissism goes. Even if they confess and so on, it's more than likely just a part of their manipulative game. And even if it's genuine at the moment, they will most likely fall back on their narc tendencies as soon as there is enough incentive to do so.
@@maxsiehier Exactly. My ex just recently tried to get back in contact with me after doing all types of messed up shit to me. I ignored her because I know she's only trying to get on my good side for her own benefits. I don't forgive her and I never will forgive her. To hell with her lol. Sometimes, it's best to just grow cold with some people. Fuck em. They're not worth your time.
He is so concentrated to give this explicit answer for forgiveness.
I’m 76 and I cannot recall anyone I ever knew actually doing that. Maybe I’ve missed something?
Nope David I don't know anyone that's gonna do that either. Would be nice though.
Veryyyy rare...dont expect it from like 99.99%
I think perhaps it's more you need to gain forgiveness from those thing which can't be done. Purhapse find the lesser. Spend time just try to accept it. No should've could've would've.
Ive seen it
It means you need to accept that some people cannot make those steps to take full accountability of their wrongdoings, and it is a pointless endeavour to force it out of them.
Which means you have no other option but moving on from their betrayal, life is too short to dwell on people who aren't willing to make the effort to become good people.
I wish just one person who betrayed me would confess to it without transfering blame onto me with justification .
Then forget about them. I too have been blamed for things when I brought up good points about people and how they operate. It will do you much better to grow cold and forget them.
tell them that is what you think and feel they are doing, this requires FULL CLEAR communication from BOTH sides, doesn't have to be perfect, but it MUST be attempted
If you wait for the confession it wil never happen unless they are helped by God. The fastest way is to ask God to help you forgive them, but if you don’t want to forgive them, ask God to help you to want to forgive them. You will feel a cinderblock lifted off your heart. Then in your freed state you can pray for them, and in time they may be delivered and apologize. But in the meantime you won’t require it.
That’s right. It sure helps if there is a confession but God calls us to forgive whether or not there is a confession - and thankfully He helps us do so!
I use this when I bump into someone when walking
😂
😂
The spouse does not admit he has done anything inappropriate. That leaves no path to forgiveness and reconciliation
the woman would do the same
My wife is doing the same, I have evidence she cheated but I did not let her know it yet. She keeps saying I'm delusional for suspecting it
Exactly... Same here. Behind my back he humiliated me, even organized mockings, and wants to just pretend nothing happened and continue to treat me with arrogance. That was his "death". No possibilities, no path to go together, no more us.
@@E-plunksna The mockings, my wife was doing that with her friends. Calling me Satan, making fun of taking money from me, her friend wanted to shake the hand of her affair partner for making her "happy" even though that ended fast. That's terrible.
@@tb87670 sounds like you are toxic and we cannot judge only from your words, but as you are calling her Satan behind her back many times insistantly, though I was not talking to you - that tells something. Narcissists usually are men. Probably you both are toxic, if you don't end it, don't say anything to her, but hold the "evidence" and talk behind her back in internet.
JP is an incredible guy.... More people shud really listen to what he has to say!!!
He does have a brilliant mind. I love his passion he makes me feel like I'm not the only one when I see how passionate he is sometimes. I tear up every time I see him tearing up during his speaches. Makes me capable of pushing forward for the best possible outcome achievable. Hopefully, I can help make major changes in the 🌎 world someday. If not, no big deal, I can say it's not for the lack of effort... thousands of hours researching in the past few years. Still nowhere near good enough to brave a stage or make videos to help others yet. It takes lots of time for me to put thoughts about feelings into accurate, precise, and helpful words that haven't been said by someone else a dozen times over.
THIS CLIP IS PROBABLY THE BEST THING i EVER WITNESSED ON THE INTERNET.... TRUE REPENTANCE IS MISSING TODAY... BRO. J.P. QUITE LITERALLY NAILED IT TO THE CROSS. SWT ALLAH.
I really wish my partner would respect me enough to do exactly this... I wish she respected me enough to have not chested in the first place.
Are you a person worth respecting?
If the answer is yes, you'll need to have a serious discussion with her, and decide how to make amends.
I'm sorry for your heartbreak. That absolutely sucks. I hope you can learn and grow for the better despite the adversity.
Grow cold towards and move on from that person. She does not love you and never will again. When people love you, they really, really love you. Love is about doing the right thing at all times for the person you love. If she betrayed your love, that means she's untrustworthy and will just do it again. You don't need her. Find someone who will respect you for who you are.
That will never happen.
Confessing means that person cares. That person does not care. That person betrayed you.
There are a lot of things that go into betrayal. Doesn't mean the person doesn't care. We can get lost in our own misery that we don't realize what we do to others.
@@MrFujin I agree. Black and white thinking is not very useful when it comes to having deep relationships…
Exactly 💯
True. But miracles do happen. But the biggest miracle is you who can forgive a betrayal. ❤
I call bullsh!t on that..betrayers are still aware of right and wrong..that's why they go to great lengths to hide their deception
Dang. Honestly, I have to wonder if this is why it's been so hard for me. My dad really fucked us up. He already passed away though. I also had a rough life in school and even some jobs. Lots of bullying and humiliation. People I don't know or see anymore, but it still doesn't mean I'm not angry about those moments.
😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢ikr what constant deliberate abuses injected internal poisonings sabotages assassinations for all sufferings life theft feels+IS like+for oh but everyone joins in only protects if its on them
its just a vestigial suggestion but maybe try Theta Healing & A New Safe Cushioned Supported Life With GOOD PEOPLE +Freedoms To Enjoy Your New Life
Same like me,but i just thinking,everyone will die at any moment,so rather than thinking about that selfish human,i will just focus on ME,make me happy and enjoy every moment left i have,there is a purpose why we dont live in this world forever my brother😊
But then what to do then? If you don't see those people anymore but still harness contempt
I thought it said in the Manual your parents are supposed to F you up? I know it's a rotten joke but you start to think an awful lot of parents read that manual!! Most of us spend our lives recovering from childhood, And we mostly don't get miraculous apologies, just we have to do the hard work figuring what all these hurts taught us and whether we can let the past go for the peace of it. I find being bitter eats you up. Being hurt is bad enough but hold the grudge, is toxic. Most of us hold on to it far too long enduing more pain, but the good thing is, when you finally can let go; sincerely, it feels amazing. Not saying it's not hard and you might have several goes failing, but it is worth getting there. And when you live long enough it's amazing how things dovetail. If we didn't go through this horrid thing, we wouldn't have been ready or in the right place for the good things. Although bullying is horribly damaging in many ways, I notice people who were bullied can often be the ones who don't just follow the crowd; They can be independent and think for themselves. Possibly less susceptible to groupthink? Just a thought?
Stop blaming others for your problems and take responsibility for your actions. GROW UP!!!
What do you do when they don't want to admit fault? My mom abandoned and betrayed me and caused irreversible psychological damage. To this day she refuses to admit fault or doesn't even wanna talk about it at all.
The first thing is to stop to believe that the damage is irreversible. It's only a believe that cause harm. The second thing is to understand that you forgive, not because you are a good person, or that you need explainations, but because you love yourself enough to not carry that weight anymore. The third thing is to do it.
He says only if you want forgiveness, this would be the first step… and even then it doesn’t guarantee anything, it’s just the first step. But he is speaking on behalf of the perpetrators not the victim… So… must keep searching
I have just the opposite. My daughter estranged and for three years I've tried to reach her. I honestly don't know what I did?
@@Thoughtworld1984 please dont beat yourself up. She may be feeling bad about herself and is not able to face you. If she is healthy and well othetwise stop trying to meet her. If she comes to you freely on her terms then keep calm and neutral and listen to her explanation. Have some spa treatments, hot stone massages etc. to give your own self warmth and love. 🛍🩱🥿🎹🎻🥁🎓🧥
God promises justice. Sometimes you have to do the work through prayer and a counselor before you will ever hear it from the person who hurt you. I’m waiting for an apology too ❤ I pray you get yours and that God heals your heart until then 🙏
Some people really confess. They give every detail bc that helps them enjoy what they did and how much power they had in hurting you. Give them some extra time and they are back at it.
So true hey
No... I feel like I should die ...I confessed everything but I can't forgive my self I was 18 when I kissed somebody else I'm turning 21 this december and I just want to die... But I can't cuz I am the only child of my parents... My bf wants to forgive me... But I feel horrible.... Please pray that I could die along with my parents so that they don't get hurt
Also pray for my bf that he could find the best person on this earth and live happily always always
lol just a movie villian
They will never admit they did say or do anything wrong... if they do, they will say something else at the end of the conversation that will be even more hurtful.
So many shades in this area.
You can try and overlook something if you conclude that you chose the path you are walking, yet won't be able to forgive.
Compassion can help you overlook some people if it's not too significant, still won't be able to forgive.
Something could be right from other person's point of view and not doing that action could have caused more damage to him than that have caused you. Still can't forgive here.
If you punish someone, still you won't be able to forgive him/her, as wrong doings and sufferings can't be undone.
Only God forgives. You can just keep distance.
Can the government confess?
no even god cant perform this miracle, but they can scapegoat the expendable old Better People as new victims using their private personal consensual intimate relationships as excuses to cover newer puppets playing next act to trick new helpless generations same as old to continue lying corrupt useless genocide
thats kind of like human approximation of what an apology is, it IS the best they can compute and empathise to do. dont ever expect Honour Returned. it only hurts you more
~Bud+J=PREForgive what you KNOW backstabbing assassin serpents WILL do (*so premake escape provisions)
Heart+Respect For The REAL WORTHY Kings We NEED being crucified for ANY Precious Integrity right now today, AND The Glorious Queens Supporting❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😢😢
Lol 😂
Exception: don't forgive them still
nah they'll lose money that way
can my employer confess?
I LOOOOVE Jordan Peterson. This Man articulates “thought” SOOO WELL. So profoundly. Everything he said about being able to forgive someone… and that someone who wronged you… needing to give you a full, detailed, accurate, description, in their apology (instead of just some cheap “I’m sorry”) is EXACTLY WHY I find it soooo hard to forgive a particular person (woman) who was in my life … who cheated on me.. who wronged me. She is a complete Narcissist. And it’s almost impossible to get a narcissist to apologize on such a deep, descriptive, level, in order for me to fully forgive her. Jordan Peterson is amazing. This man articulated my exact point, about forgiveness.
Always ask them after they confess what can be done differently next time so that the outcome can be different.
this underrated
I used to do the half of it with my partner and she always felt it like if I was excusing myself from doing it. I never done the extra that's building the plan, the idea of what would be next so I could show that I not only understand my issue but also gonna changed. I think when it has come with good results it was actually fully worked. So for me it's actually real. It works.
Very deeply thought out and put into words. I have been struggling for years now on how to let myself know what was necessary for me , to accept the reality I live in to change, or to stay as it is. Thank you, Dr Peterson
Which is one of the reasons that forgiveness is out of reach for most, I personally seem to be unable to reconcile with narcissistic people since I obviously misread their motives in the first place. Once bitten twice shy thrice bitter fourth resigned.
Forgiveness is given to the one ,who ask it as GOD forgiven your sins.
I forgive you but I will never be able to trust you Again. Move on in peace.
@@thethinktwice1235 you see ❤ forgiveness is “no more “ when Jesus forgives us… it is no more ❤it is done❤it is finished. When you forgive someone…. It is NO MORE.
He's right. Sometimes there can be no forgiveness.
This man's vocabulary is incredible. Take the time to listen to and understand each word and you will see the depth of his mind and how he is trying to help those who really listen.
nothing you can do but forgive them silently and pray for them. Humility and Love thats all.
Absolutely brilliant ❤
Those capable of confession, would never betray at the first place.
@@Dimitris_Balf We all make mistakes, but some will never humble themselves to admit it.
Margott 🏆
Likely
Youre putting too much faith in humans.
@@kathystclair9485 ...hmmm..That was my point, - those, hamble enough to admit are never enough to betray.... (he spoke about betrayal, than 'mistakes')
Jordan Peterson is beyond a genius but this clip has so much truth in it that nobody else could have ever worded it any better. I’m going through this exact situation in my life and I didn’t even know how to explain what I need to hear from the person that betrayed me in order for me to be able to truly forgive. This is 100 % what it would take for true forgiveness, for the betrayer to go to the very beginning and leave nothing out as far as why, what he was thinking, how he was justifying it in his own head, admitting all the times he tried to make me believe I was crazy, all of it! Things I don’t even WANT to hear but I NEED TO HEAR IT in order to be able to TRULY FORGIVE. There are things in life that a “I’m sorry” will not fix, even changed behavior won’t fix it, some things are going to require pure, raw truth, confession, and vulnerability.
My comment on this video is something I read: "forgiveness is for those who learned their lesson".
There is HOPE ONLY THROUGH HIM FIRST and the rest is repentance, forgiveness and FAITH, just ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. Thank you Jordan
Bro said in other words that it's impossible
It may be improbable; it's not impossible.
I've done that instinctively, but even when people confess and see their actions, only a few are humble enough to accept their mistakes.
I've had to forgive without the conversation you recommend.
It takes longer for the depth of that forgiveness to work it's way into my heart.
I concluded that it's impossible to build a bridge by yourself. So I had find another path around the problems that caused the problems.
I choose to live in the now otherwise the betrayal drags me back to that terrible time and I'm not going to let that person ruin my today's.
What happens when they do a public laundry to get ppl to sympathize with their actions?
Stephanie Buckner: That’s called triangulation. It’s a tactic that narcissists use.
Then I abandon the triangle all together.
@@terrywade3696 that's exactly what my ex did to destroy my grounds that I stand on...
True, true
Some live their whole lives with confusion..no explanations..affairs arent the only betrayals ...sometimes ya gotta learn to be a whole different person as you deal with hurt people have caused you with ZERO explanations...no closure...and that is a cruel reality...
It takes strength & courage to have this conversation, those who engage in it must respect the person to surrender to this process.
what's the name of the full video?
did you find it?
@@micaso1 nope
Jordan Peterson is a freaking genius
It's his way of setting the edges of forgiveness and reconciliation together to unveil which one it can possibly be where the need for one or the other isn't yet clear. I love and respect this man for stuff like this without even knowing him in person.
That's the thing. Folks expect you to just forgive without any sort of reconciliation or accountability from their end. How stupid do I look? Even God expects you to confess and admit your wrongs first.
Folks will hit you with the, "Just let it go" line.
You haven't even acknowledged 'it'.
Forgive because you love God & His perception and love for you is all that matters. Do it with caution but do it because He asks this of you in remembrance of the sacrifices made. You reliquish Joy and God's plan for ur life by putting another human being's demonic actions (& disgusting attempt at an apology, if ever) above even your own feelings , let alone His❤️🙏🏾Not even because your abuser deserves it but ONLY** For your peace & joy, amazing.
" Love keeps no record of wrongs." Why carry around resentment or anger ? That's not fun.
That’s a nice saying, and I like the sentiment, but it’s naive. Because people are not love. People are people. And when someone accuses you of something horrendous, to which there are serious consequences, you will need to defend yourself. It may actually be morally (and sometimes legally) necessary for you to defend your character, intentions, and motivations. And then you will see yourself turn into a person you didn’t see yourself becoming. You will need to reflect back to collect ‘ammo’ and justifications. Love alone doesn’t stand a chance against someone malicious and spiteful.
@@sweswirl7455 yes
It’s as naive as it is truth, remember the subject is forgiveness, this truth is redemptive, a post event restoration of that which was lost…it’s not for the offender( though they may benefit) it’s for the offended. If you think forgiveness is hard.. try forgiven
When have you put this unrealistic saying to the test personally?
It is SO SO SO frustrating when people blithely quote scripture like that. And, even tho I hold to the scripture, this is not what JP is saying. He's talking about how to get through the depths of the betrayal of an affair.
When you use scripture the way you did it makes it sound trite.
I suggest you have not endured the pain I have, I'm sure you would not have commented like that if so.
I agree totally For someone to truly apologize they have to know exactly what they did wrong before the other Can forgive That person has to say in detail exactly what they did wrong Before the other one couldn't even try to forgive and forget but the thing is they will never forget
I resonate 100% with this. The great challenge is that by the time the perpetrator commits the betrayal, they already find themselves in a place of lesser care for the betrayed. To come around to a seed of caring is, thus, so very hard for both parties. Yet, the strength of a bond saved is worth the effort thousand-fold.
They did the best they were WILLING to do because they were afraid to change. I can forgive fear.
So you forgive the will to not change, the will to continue to do evil. I never do that. That's why no one hurt me twice.
@@MrDjjavad It’s different with childhood. You can’t walk away from your parents or whoever is raising you. So if any adult child is still in a state where they need to forgive their parents, either dead or alive, it helps to think they did the best they were willing to do because they were afraid to change. Anyway, I’ve seen this mindset help others including myself. I’ve always balked at the notion of “They did the very best they knew at the time. When they know better, they do better. “ I don’t believe it. Have I always done my very best when I knew better? Heck no. I should’ve had one piece of pie and I knew better than to have two or three pieces of pie but I did it anyway. Simple analogy.
That doesn't work for narcissists. They are the worst. My mom was one, and it taught me the serious damage you can do to children by gaslighting them. She's dead now. How do I forgive a dead narcissist who did nothing but try to destroy me and invalidate my entire childhood experience without a breath of apology.
Just look at her like an ill person. Like someone who suffered brain damage. Its pretty much the dame thing. Maybe that can help you taking it less personal.
Doc Snipes said:
Consider that maybe what they did to you was done to them.
They didn’t know better.
Human nature to resist changing what you are doing.
Compassion.
True indeed as it also narrated in the bible😊😊Let God intervene! Karma is coming😊❤
I'm always in awe listening to him speak. His words are impeccable and almost define themselves by the order in which he uses them. Does that make sense to anyone? 😊
his words are harmonious from start to finish
Amen! Confess!
It's heartbreaking when their not sorry.
Time to leave.
Not sorry, not forgiven, its just that simple, their loss.
Right!😫😫💔 especially family
Before he started getting into the video I immediately started crying. Not just tears. It was crying from deep within my soul. All the pain, all the hurt all the negative feelings I've had and the negative past experiences. It just came out of me.
And that’s something cheaters never seem to do, at least the ones I’ve encountered. Better to start a new life from my experience. Best wishes to you all❤
What if the person hides the betrayal and the other justifies the hiding and even blames you for it when it's a degrading betrayal? How do you forgive persons who has no plan to confess and no intention to face their betrayal to you?
Most people will never get that so sometimes you just have to forgive them without ever getting an apology
@@shanesaxon6863 actually it’s not impossible. However it might be impossible for someone who does not have Jesus in their life and heart. I have to admit that before I surrendered to the Lord it was impossible for me. But thank Jesus I’m free from those who’ve hurt me deeply. 🙏🏼 💜 🕊
@@esmeraldagarcia2848 not true, I believe in Jesus, and their some people i just couldnt forgive, it is good to confess it to him thoe, so he may grant mercy and forgivness, being pressured to forgive just gonna cause more hurt.
Love this man ❤ I really needed to hear this today
They would never say they were wrong.
An extramarital affair is never justifiable. Get divorced first.
You totally missed the point…
@@andreagabel5589 😂 you are just delutional
Someone who's wronged you barely says these deep confessions.
thank you for putting that out there and hopefully those who have decided to be so hurtful will see this.
Jordan I want you to know how needed you are and how much of a difference you are making. You are punched but keep going. You inspire me to be a better person. God loves you. Thank you❤
I now understand how I’ve not been able to fully forgive somebody. I have not come across a person who can do this. However, because I believe in the word atonement, I’ve been able to run it down in depth when I’ve done wrong, wanting others to fully forgive me.
You can do it when you take full responsibility over your life. Stop blaming others and expecting them to change. Your own choices lead you to the situation, you chose the relationships, and your anger is disappointment in yourself which you project onto others because that's easier to deal with. Point that anger at the man in the mirror.
❤️🙏🏾💜
What he says here is the true way of understanding and honesty that allows healing
This is my favourite method when i am able to bring it together
99.9% of people willing and able to make a confession and apology like that wouldn’t cheat/lie/betray in the first place.
How can my kids forgive their father? He actually said to me, "People get divorced every day. They need to get over it."
Your kids are in an understandable position, i am a son of divorced parents. My dad left my mom for another woman when i was 5 years old. I'm 25 now i forgave him because Jesus teaches me that i make mistakes too and deserve God's judgement. So even tho i might feel hurt the only way to free myself from resentment is to love my father like nothing happened and move forward. Just like God loves me
They will forgive only after they find Jesus. Tell them about Him every day. My daughter is in the same position, was very bitter but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a place in her heart for her dad. That’s why she hates him. But with the help of specialists and telling her about Jesus, maybe she will forgive. I know I did and she cannot understand that yet.
This led me to ponder the question Have any of us have ever truly repented 😞
Deep💯 i did watch a video basically stating u must choose to forgive every time the experience resurfaces. Always complaining im tired of being the bigger person never understanding the work behind it fr. This is an issue I've had my *entire* 25 years on earth. Thinking if i "believe" i forgive , thats good enough (i can still be angry and resentful)... Not at all . Forgiveness is not a one time thing & that scared me more than my petty emotions. That simple misunderstanding can land u in hell. This redirected my anger, thoughts, reflections. I can be mad all day , talking to myself, RELIVING the torment and straight up damaging me & Father God's relationship .. ooor i can choose peace through His grace, love and mercy . ❤️
Beautiful. I am so impressed by his talk. Yes forgiveness brings a new life for a person and have an harmonious peaceful life. 🙏👌🌹
You need to find a man or woman of God. If the relationship is based on faith, there will be no betrayal. If your faith is strong in the Lord, your values change dramatically. 🙏💜
😂
@@Steve-lt2wi I'm glad you agree. 💜🙏
😂😂😂
Hmm im not religious, but i am starting to see the sense in that, loyalty, trust in the friendships, honest and genuine people , thus i am starting to believe in the sense of communion
Even God forgives only when you ask for forgiveness,some people are undeserving of forgiveness because they don't even show remorse or awareness of the thing they did to you,as if you are wrong for feeling violated
That is EXACTLY what someone who is TRULY sorry/remorseful for their inappropriate/hurtful behavior would do, but VERY UNLIKELY that most people will attain that level of awareness/accountability! SOOOOO, IF u WAIT for this to happen BEFORE YOU forgive them, you will be ROBBING YOURSELF!!! SO...FORGIVE THEM with the grace INSIDE YOURSELF FOR YOURSELF! Does NOT mean you give them access to harm you again, just that YOU don't cheat YOURSELF out of the PEACE you can only experience when you LET GO of the destructive energy their actions spewed. Wipe it OFF and allow that space for POSITIVE energies/action/people to refill!❤❤❤
Amen
This is so right and deep . This could change lives major. A sincere apology goes a long way This is what God wants from us when we repent of our sins . Confess and repent with a sincere heart .I need this from my husband who appears to have stepped over the edge
I forgive him already
Jordan is a good person. He expects even people who have not been good to their partners to do good. To say sorry I have done wrong, to humble themselves and have the courage to confess. Some will confess, some won't, and some will flat out gas light even excuse it saying it's ok. So many variations. Tbh. To err is human, forgiveness is divine. (I think that's the quote)
Forgive them and then never speak to them again.
Narcissist, yes, they would never say that he did wrong even if it was something so obvious to everybody, however, it’s better for you to forgive thar person, regardless if they apologize or not, otherwise you could get sick in your body and your soul.
I got betrayed by a very close person that almost left me living on the street with my daughter, didn’t even have the compassion to see me sick and spent all of our savings from 23 years. So yeah, thank God I could forgive him because I wanna go on with my life and I refuse to Carrie that heavy baggage on me. Naked I came into this world and naked I will leave. God will take care of everything and everyone around me. I rest in God, who gives me peace.
that's all I want, really. a confession.
Only if all his critics can do just this... Because we are blessed to have a man share his intellect with us. Dare a person throw rocks at JBP and his family, it is not right and not just. Many thanks to his family and him for all that they do. It is a pleasure to be a witness. God bless them
So true. I speak from my experienced being cheated on and from revenge. We are still working on our relationship of a decade.
The way to forgiveness is to realise that the other human being is a flawed as you are. Is to remember how complex your own universe is and understanding that this is truth to other beings too.
Forgiveness is a gift just like love. There is no need for any conditions to be meet. Just like love forgiveness Is. Period!
Excellent depiction of a true confession and what it is to forgive and what it takes for both to come to an agreement.
Wow, this is very true. And unfortunately, I know this will never happen. Thank you for this
How to make a good confession. Thank you.
Well pur brother 👏
Most people can never bring themselves to open up this way to other adults. By and large, the wronged party is left with detaching from that person altogether, or taking a loss in integrity.
Yes True.. Forgiveness 70 x 70..
Thank you Jordan Peterson ❤
Your words to the world 🌍 are so needed,we love you brother 🫂
God bless you 🙏Jordan
I tried to do this after I turned 20, as I had a life crisis and could no longer deny that I had taken the wrong path in my teens. I believe that in screwing my life up, I hurt my family as well. But evidently I screwed up the confessing too, because they kept brushing me off as if nothing was wrong when we both know that wasn’t true. I don’t know how to deal with these people. It’s like… I should’ve just accepted how things were in the first place, taken what I could get and leave. Sometimes I don’t think they believe in true goodness. Either we pretend we’re fine or we freak out. And they think people are just born bad, which I disagree with. It’s like they devalue the power of choice.
Yeah? What if they're hidden and won't stop, Jack?
Then this confession won't happen. You're still left to forgive or not forgive.
Genus. Just pure genus