Grandma said don’t get married YOUNG, not don’t get married at all. Which, as someone in my 40s, I can get behind. Finishing school and setting yourself up as a young person is good. Once you have a family and get into being legally entwined with another person, certain things just become harder, if the groundwork hasn’t been laid. But like you said, it’s individual. Not everyone is going to college or has a specific career in mind. But if you DO, probably wiser to wait on marriage. There’s some truth to “marriage is a scam for women” because studies show that heterosexual women still bear the brunt of housework and childcare, even if they also work full time. So a young woman should be highly discerning about who she marries imo. That being said, I hate the “marriage is just a piece of paper” argument. It is NOT. It confers specific legal rights and benefits that being a gf/bf doesn’t. Gay MARRIAGE was fought for because of these rights denied to them by just being “partners” (ie, nothing in the eyes of the law). Young people don’t think about medical issues and matters of inheritance but they’re important. Even just buying a house together if you’re not married is far more complicated than if you are.
Yes. It’s just up to the individual. It could work out, it could not work out, just like an education. (I have yet to receive any benefit from my degree.) I think a lot of people want to feel like there is a sure or secure life path but it simply doesn’t exist. So you have to make your best decisions and hope it’s ok. Having a firm foundation in taking care of your health, regardless of your life choices, all of which can fail or work out, is much better advice to give and receive as a young person, and in the case of this fat activist, it is important to notice and even point out the elephant in the room.
I was gonna comment the exact same thing that you just did. I will add that, before I met my spouse, I dated a number of guys, got to know them and (more importantly) what I want. I’m now married to my best friend, someone with whom I want to share life’s ups and downs with. We’ve grown so much since we’ve first met and we’ll continue to do so and I wouldn’t trade it for anything!
@@GraphicallyAlex people hate ambiguity and uncertainty and you’re right that nothing is a guarantee. personally I think college has become a huge scam. My son is attending now but the military pays his tuition. That’s the only way it’s worth a damn these days, if you can somehow get tuition covered or at least assisted. He also has a serious girlfriend and I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t want him to wait to get married lol, but they do support each other
she’s right on this. Young marriages have the highest rate of failure. My mom is a divorce lawyer so she sees how these things happen. You see it alot in military towns, it’s not uncommon to come across a 25yr old divorcee because they were incentivized to get married straight out of high school. People are not fully developed adults at 18-21. There’s a huge jump in maturity from your late teens to late/mid 20s. My mom always said “don’t start a family with a boy, before he becomes a man”. Peoples mentality shifts once their frontal lobe is developed. Some couples are lucky they remain compatible through that change but most grow apart. We all experience this, I liked “bad boys” when I was super young 😂 if I would’ve got married to one of them I would be divorced by now. I’m 100% on the side of the argument that says let people grow into adulthood before tying them down
Yes, but it can be that grandma saw the woman as immature and therefore gave her that advice. Perhaps she then thought she wanted to get married but was to obsessed about the details, what wedding dress and these more superficial frills around it. There are a fair amount of people who are married while still continuing to go on and get their education and career.
My first love was a TOTAL DOUCHE lmao. One of the dumbest guys ever. It would have never worked out.😅😭 Regardless tho, I was so mentally and physically unhealthy at 21, dating and hell even education should have been the least of my priorities at the time. I regret that a LOT.
I'm sure her boyfriend must be really happy hearing her say that boyfriends come and go, and that she doesn't want to marry him. On the other hand, if she DOES spend like a decade with him and they break up, that's it. He'll just up and leave her (or kick her out if it's his house), without no law forcing him to pay alimony.
I agree that there's such a thing as too young to get married. In almost all states underage marriage is legal with your parents permission. And you should at least be old enough to be allowed to drink on your own wedding.
Never wanted to get married, and here I am, married because there's a war in my country and borders are closed for men, but with some exceptions - for example, a man can leave the country if he's accompanying his disabled wife. Now we're together in another country where none of us is under the death threat. I also was surprised that now as I'm married some things are more beneficial to me tax wise. So I would say, marriage doesn't have a big influence on the relationship in couple, prenups exist to minimize this influence even more. Imo the main function of marriage is to change relationships with states, with governments.
I agree as a gay. Haha. I don’t see it as a religious thing for me. But as a passport queen gay marriage is very important to me. Doesn’t mean anyone should rush into it either tho.
I know plenty of people, myself included who have married their high school sweethearts. Just because it's not your path doesn't mean that applies to everyone else. If you have a good head on your shoulders and actually communicate, it's amazing what you can accomplish in a marriage or long term relationship. This person just sounds miserable and of course wants to drag everyone else down with them. So sad, man.
I came here to say the same thing! I married my now husband at 22 back in 2009 and we're celerating our 15 year anniversary tomorrow. If I had listened to my friends or my mom or people like this FA and left him and slept around before I got married, I wouldn't have the amazing life we've built together.
This woman (and many others) like to hide their jealousy and insecurity behind layers of Copium. I would bet folding money that she would love to have what you have.
My husband made my life a million times better. I need him. He knows I need him. It makes him feel really good. Marriage is awesome and I feel bad for her and her bf.
A certain degree of mutual selflessness is also essential in LITERALLY EVERY sort of relationship not even just romantic ones. Don't give up everything, but you have to be willing to give up SOMETHING. After all, it's not just you anymore.
I’m late to this party but had to comment. I’m 57 and got married at 23. I was married 22 years before he left. Did divorce suck? Yup. Do I regret the marriage, nope. It gave me a lot of joy at the time. And it gave me my son. After the divorce I was single for a decade. There were times that sucked. Do I regret it? Nope. Now I’m engaged to a wonderful man who is nothing like my ex. What’s my point? Life is long. What works at one stage doesn’t always work at another. Saying “I will never…” or “ I will always” is a fools errand. Live life the best you can, when you can. Absolutes don’t work. And that’s the only absolute worth anything.
Very relationship advice heavy this time, Alex 😉 I think telling women to not get married young is good advice. 70% of divorces are initiated by women so if they're more intentional about getting married by waiting longer, awesome.
I don’t understand the rush to get married. People treat it like a race but you’re racing to get nowhere because married at 18 means divorced by 30 😂 now it’s even worse because you will be re-entering the dating field with kids from a previous relationship. While “competing” with childless women in their late 20s. Realistically you’re going to be passed up by a lot of people who don’t want single parents and divorcees. It’s harsh to say but it’s true.
Lol saying compatability is important is one of the most boring milquetoast statements regarding relationships ever, which is basically all I said other than, this is an individual decision. I was very neutral, LOL. I think a lot of you have very strong opinions on marriage which is fine, just don’t project it onto me. I don’t. I am very neutral when it comes to marriage.
I will say having grown up Mormon that this is probably colored through that lense of what marriage is which is basically women heavily focused on their children and having a lot of them as soon as possible. It's a different world that's hard to understand if you haven't been around it. It's kind of traumatic to be honest. But I'm gay so that was always going to be the case for me
Yeah I think her point could have been made more clearly if she stated what “young” means, and defined what marriage means to her. She is acting like 32 is too young to get married, and that is what I’m used to hearing growing up in California / LA area.
@GraphicallyAlex I agree I think her grandmother kind of passed on yet own trauma from life experience and she took it way farther than she probably ever intended
She’s being very dismissive and disrespectful to her boyfriend by saying she doesn’t want to be anyone’s wife, acting as if a commitment to him would be giving up her life…. What’s the point in being in a relationship if there is not commitment involved. I do not understand straight people at all, of course no one has to be married ever to have a good relationship but she seems to think that being married automatically means you give up your life for the other person. But a good healthy relationship means sacrifice whether you are just dating or if you’re married. Why even date if they don’t mean enough in your life to work together to have a good life.Just hookup with people and have friends and have fun without commitment. It’s sad to think that she is so distrustful of people specifically men to the point where being close to them means certain ego death…. This is a straight person problem from my perspective. Of course us gays have probs too but I hear straight women constantly distrust all men and I can understand where that comes from but it’s like girl if u don’t trust him he’s either not for you or you have some trauma to work through. Don’t settle. If someone is not perfect for you they aren’t your person. When you know you’ve found them you’ll know. Anyone else is a waste of time tbh…. She sounds very insecure and desperate in this video imo 😅
I agree it is strange to be with someone you don’t trust. Probably would just be better to be single at that point. I have ALSO kept things going with someone I didn’t trust because I was scared to be alone, but I would say… IT DIDNT WORK lol.
Came back because I cant stop thinking about how she said theres no benefit to marriage. Like gays didnt fight for years for marriage to get these rights that shes just blatantly bashing for cool points. Does she not care about medical emergencies? Did she not worry about being able to visit him on his death bed if 2020s ever happens again? 😷 Tax benefits? Insurance benefits? Being able to make legal decisions in an emergency??? God forbid a tragedy happens and shes left scrambling because they never legalized their union. What a privileged and very wrong viewpoint about marriage bringing nothing.
You asked if you can’t get an education or have autonomy if you’re married and I’d say, it can make things harder (as someone who has been married and is married). Most of the time, yes, but now there’s another person to consider in a life plan. Let’s say your school offers some kind of overseas or long distance opportunity. Well, now you have a spouse! Or after school, the job market for your degree is only viable states away from where you are, but your spouse doesn’t want to move. Stuff like this. You’re more free to pick up and leave if you’re not married ETA I’m facing something like this right now in my marriage. I’d love to move to a warmer climate one day but he’s attached to this area. Obviously you can’t force someone to move so we’re staying for now. That’s not to say things can’t change one day. Moving is like having kids, it needs to be 2 “yeses” otherwise it’s a no. It is what it is!
Yeah I agree but I also think… I had limits to my choices even being single most of my 20s. There are financial constraints, family constraints… also hell even personal limits… I never could have lived totally on my own in another country at 21 for example. I just don’t think marriage is the be all end all of limits but yes I totally get what you are saying. I just disagree that being single is complete freedom, especially when physical and mental health issues are involved, it won’t matter how single or married you are, you will continue to have problems.
@@GraphicallyAlex oh for sure! I do agree with you there. I mean hell, even just having 2 incomes vs 1, plus someone you can rely on to take care of stuff, helps a LOT. The bad part of being single is it’s all on YOU. For better or worse. Yes you have freedom but it can feel scary too, especially when you’re young and broke
Why does she think it's either education or marriage? My mom got married at 19 and went on to finish her bachelors degree and then get a masters in nursing (a very difficult degree). You can get married and go to school!
@@GraphicallyAlex The stats for young marriages are actually worse (60%) for 20-25’s, you are talking about the standard divorce rate. I mean I actually do think way less people need to go to college, most people don’t know what they are doing and waste money doing so. I agree with your FA/dieting takes but I really don’t understand the push for getting married young lol.
@@GraphicallyAlex I mean tbf you sre up and down these comments debating people about getting married young lol. Unless your other comments aren’t real🫠
@@gleebybooer nope. I’m not. What it is is you have a strong conviction about people getting married young, I am neutral about it, and I am responding to people similarly passionate, often not even talking about the marriage aspect.
Heffa, my husband gives me the best of EVERYTHING. If you can't attract a decent man that's a you problem. Ftr I'm a sahm, have been with my hisbamd for 17 years, and have 2 degrees (one earned after getting married). And thanks to my set-up I'm currently learning advanced finance and will be producing a synthwave album with the year.
Whether or not she is stupid in this decision not to get married, notice I never said that was a bad decision (FOR HER) it is stupid not to invest in her health. That is universally stupid regardless of whatever other decisions she makes.
So you don’t believe marriage gave many stay at home wives and mothers a security if they ever split? As someone who was alive before women were allowed their own bank account I thought youd realize how ignorant this womans argument is.
Is she aware that choosing NOT to get married doesn't count as a personality trait anymore? It's 2024. That's not unusual enough to be interesting to most people 40 and under.
She is parroting neo feminist talking points regarding marriage which makes sense because the bulk(pun INTENDED) of fat "activism" is just lazily repackaged feminism.
I got married and the only thing that changed was my last name. Marriage for me just meant this is my forever person and I want to create a family with them at some point. Idk why people think of marriage as a prison. If you feel like that you’re with the wrong person
I married the man I was with when I was 17. Waited 10 years to do it and it was the best decision of my life 🩵 I love being married and I love my husband.
I assume that she thinks that her grandmother didn't like her, because the grandmother mentioned her weight few time. She probably was the only one in the family who talked to the creator about her weight.
To me, this just comes across as pick me behavior. “Im not like the other girls, I dont care about marriage” when in reality, marriage does a lot for women, especially stay at home moms who would be otherwise financially ruined if they left a long term boyfriend vs husband. Although, this video did highlight that she has a very strong black or white, all or nothing mentality; and ignores valid arguments in favor of her own personal testimony when she has not experienced the other side and cant compare. To see she is this way with other topics and not just FA rhetoric makes me wonder what makes someone susceptible to this sort of logic denying cognitive dissonance.
Marriage is for those who want it and will do the work. But i agree being married too young may not be the move but everyone has to do whats right for them.
I don't understand why you connected this to fat acceptance. this is a sentiment a lot of women from all different backgrounds have. I get that you think she doesn't invest in her health but the point of your video is that different people can have different priorities , but you're judging her for not making weightloss a priority
She IS a fat activist. You may agree with her stance. I never really said anything one way or the other about her decision regarding marriage (except that it isn’t universally correct for ALL women.) but regardless of anything she DOESN’T invest in one of the most important areas of her life. Her career, her money will not matter if she takes her health for granted. Health runs through all aspects of life, single or married. I’m actually giving her, and younger women very sage advice. If you are too busy projecting your own insecurities into it that is YOUR problem.
@@GraphicallyAlex I mean, im not saying I agree with her, but you're advice is just as biased as hers is. and nothing in her video has anything to do with fat activism. even if she is a fat activist, it's irrelevant in this this instance.
@sumchick345 In regard to health yes I am biased. I want you to know this is fat activist logic, the idea that health is irrelevant to all other life decisions is fat acceptance folklore.
@@GraphicallyAlex you're not seeing the hypocrisy though? you criticize her for pushing biased advice but you're doing the same thing within the same video. sure it's a good idea to invest in your health but that's up to the individual to make that decision. it may or may not work out in the end just like getting married young may or may not work out. it's all a toss up
@@sumchick345 I have never claimed to not be telling people what to do in regard to health. Fat activists often act as if they aren’t pushing anything onto anyone, I don’t. Anti-FA doesn’t really make that claim, only FA in general, which is what I was commenting on in that statement. But yes I am 100% biased in health, even if something happens to your health down the line obesity will simply make it WORSE. This should be very clear but this is an anti-fat acceptance channel, so yes, everything will come back to that. To be even more clear, I do not accept obesity, nor will it ever be accepted on this channel. Now I am done with this exchange.
I am not sure you are qualified to discuss takes about marriages for girls 16-20 (or any girls), no offense. Not to mention if she has more property than her boyfriend, I'd say not marrying is wise. No connection to fat acceptance here either, clickbait.
@@GraphicallyAlex wasn't subscribed in the first place. Putting your take on youtube and thinking it would only be recommended to your yes-croud is a bit strange.
Goodbye. I don’t want you here. Is that not clear? You don’t have an intelligent take. Your logic is flawed. You can’t understand what I’m saying. You are also blatantly wrong about the point I’m making. Go ahead and tell young women their health doesn’t matter as long as they don’t get married! I WONT do the same.
@@GraphicallyAlex how is it connected to the initial message about marriage at all? You are talking just like fat activists yourself now, not actually replying to what is written and twisting the narrative in your own head.
@@EveRosellyou sound like a religious fundamentalist. I’m not interested in your dogma. I hope I never encounter you again. I cannot stand people like you. So annoying.
Her grandmother said don't get married YOUNG.
She didn't say don't get married AT ALL.
Grandma said don’t get married YOUNG, not don’t get married at all. Which, as someone in my 40s, I can get behind. Finishing school and setting yourself up as a young person is good. Once you have a family and get into being legally entwined with another person, certain things just become harder, if the groundwork hasn’t been laid. But like you said, it’s individual. Not everyone is going to college or has a specific career in mind. But if you DO, probably wiser to wait on marriage.
There’s some truth to “marriage is a scam for women” because studies show that heterosexual women still bear the brunt of housework and childcare, even if they also work full time. So a young woman should be highly discerning about who she marries imo. That being said, I hate the “marriage is just a piece of paper” argument. It is NOT. It confers specific legal rights and benefits that being a gf/bf doesn’t. Gay MARRIAGE was fought for because of these rights denied to them by just being “partners” (ie, nothing in the eyes of the law). Young people don’t think about medical issues and matters of inheritance but they’re important. Even just buying a house together if you’re not married is far more complicated than if you are.
Well said.
Yes. It’s just up to the individual. It could work out, it could not work out, just like an education. (I have yet to receive any benefit from my degree.) I think a lot of people want to feel like there is a sure or secure life path but it simply doesn’t exist. So you have to make your best decisions and hope it’s ok. Having a firm foundation in taking care of your health, regardless of your life choices, all of which can fail or work out, is much better advice to give and receive as a young person, and in the case of this fat activist, it is important to notice and even point out the elephant in the room.
I was gonna comment the exact same thing that you just did. I will add that, before I met my spouse, I dated a number of guys, got to know them and (more importantly) what I want. I’m now married to my best friend, someone with whom I want to share life’s ups and downs with. We’ve grown so much since we’ve first met and we’ll continue to do so and I wouldn’t trade it for anything!
@@GraphicallyAlex people hate ambiguity and uncertainty and you’re right that nothing is a guarantee. personally I think college has become a huge scam. My son is attending now but the military pays his tuition. That’s the only way it’s worth a damn these days, if you can somehow get tuition covered or at least assisted. He also has a serious girlfriend and I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t want him to wait to get married lol, but they do support each other
@@existentialgamer9206 I’m 32 and single, LOL. I did not get married yet, for MANY reasons, but I don’t expect a cookie for it either.
she’s right on this. Young marriages have the highest rate of failure. My mom is a divorce lawyer so she sees how these things happen. You see it alot in military towns, it’s not uncommon to come across a 25yr old divorcee because they were incentivized to get married straight out of high school. People are not fully developed adults at 18-21. There’s a huge jump in maturity from your late teens to late/mid 20s.
My mom always said “don’t start a family with a boy, before he becomes a man”.
Peoples mentality shifts once their frontal lobe is developed. Some couples are lucky they remain compatible through that change but most grow apart. We all experience this, I liked “bad boys” when I was super young 😂 if I would’ve got married to one of them I would be divorced by now. I’m 100% on the side of the argument that says let people grow into adulthood before tying them down
Yes, but it can be that grandma saw the woman as immature and therefore gave her that advice. Perhaps she then thought she wanted to get married but was to obsessed about the details, what wedding dress and these more superficial frills around it.
There are a fair amount of people who are married while still continuing to go on and get their education and career.
My first love was a TOTAL DOUCHE lmao. One of the dumbest guys ever. It would have never worked out.😅😭
Regardless tho, I was so mentally and physically unhealthy at 21, dating and hell even education should have been the least of my priorities at the time. I regret that a LOT.
I'm sure her boyfriend must be really happy hearing her say that boyfriends come and go, and that she doesn't want to marry him. On the other hand, if she DOES spend like a decade with him and they break up, that's it. He'll just up and leave her (or kick her out if it's his house), without no law forcing him to pay alimony.
I agree that there's such a thing as too young to get married. In almost all states underage marriage is legal with your parents permission. And you should at least be old enough to be allowed to drink on your own wedding.
Never wanted to get married, and here I am, married because there's a war in my country and borders are closed for men, but with some exceptions - for example, a man can leave the country if he's accompanying his disabled wife. Now we're together in another country where none of us is under the death threat. I also was surprised that now as I'm married some things are more beneficial to me tax wise. So I would say, marriage doesn't have a big influence on the relationship in couple, prenups exist to minimize this influence even more. Imo the main function of marriage is to change relationships with states, with governments.
I agree as a gay. Haha. I don’t see it as a religious thing for me. But as a passport queen gay marriage is very important to me. Doesn’t mean anyone should rush into it either tho.
I know plenty of people, myself included who have married their high school sweethearts. Just because it's not your path doesn't mean that applies to everyone else. If you have a good head on your shoulders and actually communicate, it's amazing what you can accomplish in a marriage or long term relationship. This person just sounds miserable and of course wants to drag everyone else down with them. So sad, man.
I came here to say the same thing! I married my now husband at 22 back in 2009 and we're celerating our 15 year anniversary tomorrow. If I had listened to my friends or my mom or people like this FA and left him and slept around before I got married, I wouldn't have the amazing life we've built together.
This woman (and many others) like to hide their jealousy and insecurity behind layers of Copium. I would bet folding money that she would love to have what you have.
My husband made my life a million times better. I need him. He knows I need him. It makes him feel really good. Marriage is awesome and I feel bad for her and her bf.
A certain degree of mutual selflessness is also essential in LITERALLY EVERY sort of relationship not even just romantic ones.
Don't give up everything, but you have to be willing to give up SOMETHING.
After all, it's not just you anymore.
I’m late to this party but had to comment. I’m 57 and got married at 23. I was married 22 years before he left. Did divorce suck? Yup. Do I regret the marriage, nope. It gave me a lot of joy at the time. And it gave me my son. After the divorce I was single for a decade. There were times that sucked. Do I regret it? Nope. Now I’m engaged to a wonderful man who is nothing like my ex. What’s my point? Life is long. What works at one stage doesn’t always work at another. Saying “I will never…” or “ I will always” is a fools errand. Live life the best you can, when you can. Absolutes don’t work. And that’s the only absolute worth anything.
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Very relationship advice heavy this time, Alex 😉
I think telling women to not get married young is good advice. 70% of divorces are initiated by women so if they're more intentional about getting married by waiting longer, awesome.
I don’t understand the rush to get married. People treat it like a race but you’re racing to get nowhere because married at 18 means divorced by 30 😂 now it’s even worse because you will be re-entering the dating field with kids from a previous relationship. While “competing” with childless women in their late 20s. Realistically you’re going to be passed up by a lot of people who don’t want single parents and divorcees. It’s harsh to say but it’s true.
Lol saying compatability is important is one of the most boring milquetoast statements regarding relationships ever, which is basically all I said other than, this is an individual decision. I was very neutral, LOL. I think a lot of you have very strong opinions on marriage which is fine, just don’t project it onto me. I don’t. I am very neutral when it comes to marriage.
I will say having grown up Mormon that this is probably colored through that lense of what marriage is which is basically women heavily focused on their children and having a lot of them as soon as possible. It's a different world that's hard to understand if you haven't been around it.
It's kind of traumatic to be honest. But I'm gay so that was always going to be the case for me
Yeah I think her point could have been made more clearly if she stated what “young” means, and defined what marriage means to her. She is acting like 32 is too young to get married, and that is what I’m used to hearing growing up in California / LA area.
@GraphicallyAlex I agree I think her grandmother kind of passed on yet own trauma from life experience and she took it way farther than she probably ever intended
She’s being very dismissive and disrespectful to her boyfriend by saying she doesn’t want to be anyone’s wife, acting as if a commitment to him would be giving up her life…. What’s the point in being in a relationship if there is not commitment involved. I do not understand straight people at all, of course no one has to be married ever to have a good relationship but she seems to think that being married automatically means you give up your life for the other person. But a good healthy relationship means sacrifice whether you are just dating or if you’re married. Why even date if they don’t mean enough in your life to work together to have a good life.Just hookup with people and have friends and have fun without commitment. It’s sad to think that she is so distrustful of people specifically men to the point where being close to them means certain ego death…. This is a straight person problem from my perspective. Of course us gays have probs too but I hear straight women constantly distrust all men and I can understand where that comes from but it’s like girl if u don’t trust him he’s either not for you or you have some trauma to work through. Don’t settle. If someone is not perfect for you they aren’t your person. When you know you’ve found them you’ll know. Anyone else is a waste of time tbh…. She sounds very insecure and desperate in this video imo 😅
I agree it is strange to be with someone you don’t trust. Probably would just be better to be single at that point. I have ALSO kept things going with someone I didn’t trust because I was scared to be alone, but I would say… IT DIDNT WORK lol.
Came back because I cant stop thinking about how she said theres no benefit to marriage. Like gays didnt fight for years for marriage to get these rights that shes just blatantly bashing for cool points. Does she not care about medical emergencies? Did she not worry about being able to visit him on his death bed if 2020s ever happens again? 😷 Tax benefits? Insurance benefits? Being able to make legal decisions in an emergency??? God forbid a tragedy happens and shes left scrambling because they never legalized their union. What a privileged and very wrong viewpoint about marriage bringing nothing.
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You asked if you can’t get an education or have autonomy if you’re married and I’d say, it can make things harder (as someone who has been married and is married). Most of the time, yes, but now there’s another person to consider in a life plan. Let’s say your school offers some kind of overseas or long distance opportunity. Well, now you have a spouse! Or after school, the job market for your degree is only viable states away from where you are, but your spouse doesn’t want to move. Stuff like this. You’re more free to pick up and leave if you’re not married
ETA I’m facing something like this right now in my marriage. I’d love to move to a warmer climate one day but he’s attached to this area. Obviously you can’t force someone to move so we’re staying for now. That’s not to say things can’t change one day. Moving is like having kids, it needs to be 2 “yeses” otherwise it’s a no. It is what it is!
Yeah I agree but I also think… I had limits to my choices even being single most of my 20s. There are financial constraints, family constraints… also hell even personal limits… I never could have lived totally on my own in another country at 21 for example. I just don’t think marriage is the be all end all of limits but yes I totally get what you are saying. I just disagree that being single is complete freedom, especially when physical and mental health issues are involved, it won’t matter how single or married you are, you will continue to have problems.
@@GraphicallyAlex oh for sure! I do agree with you there. I mean hell, even just having 2 incomes vs 1, plus someone you can rely on to take care of stuff, helps a LOT. The bad part of being single is it’s all on YOU. For better or worse. Yes you have freedom but it can feel scary too, especially when you’re young and broke
Why does she think it's either education or marriage? My mom got married at 19 and went on to finish her bachelors degree and then get a masters in nursing (a very difficult degree). You can get married and go to school!
Statistically, getting married young is absolutely fine/acceptable as long as you don’t mind divorcing later lol
Divorce rate is 42%. College drop out rate is 32%. I guess no one should go to college young either!
@@GraphicallyAlex The stats for young marriages are actually worse (60%) for 20-25’s, you are talking about the standard divorce rate. I mean I actually do think way less people need to go to college, most people don’t know what they are doing and waste money doing so. I agree with your FA/dieting takes but I really don’t understand the push for getting married young lol.
@@gleebybooer what push? I think you are hallucinating.
@@GraphicallyAlex I mean tbf you sre up and down these comments debating people about getting married young lol. Unless your other comments aren’t real🫠
@@gleebybooer nope. I’m not. What it is is you have a strong conviction about people getting married young, I am neutral about it, and I am responding to people similarly passionate, often not even talking about the marriage aspect.
Heffa, my husband gives me the best of EVERYTHING.
If you can't attract a decent man that's a you problem.
Ftr I'm a sahm, have been with my hisbamd for 17 years, and have 2 degrees (one earned after getting married).
And thanks to my set-up I'm currently learning advanced finance and will be producing a synthwave album with the year.
This video had nothing to do with fat acceptance lol. Why bright weight and health into this when she was only talking about marriage???
She is a fat activist. It is a major part of her content.
Well im 67, and I have to say this woman is not stupid. She is correct.
Whether or not she is stupid in this decision not to get married, notice I never said that was a bad decision (FOR HER) it is stupid not to invest in her health. That is universally stupid regardless of whatever other decisions she makes.
So you don’t believe marriage gave many stay at home wives and mothers a security if they ever split? As someone who was alive before women were allowed their own bank account I thought youd realize how ignorant this womans argument is.
Life is a constant state of becoming.
I'm pushing 40 and I'M still learning about myself.
I want to be able to say that when I'm pushing 60+.
Is she aware that choosing NOT to get married doesn't count as a personality trait anymore? It's 2024. That's not unusual enough to be interesting to most people 40 and under.
I feel bad for her bf, she’s lowkey talking shit about him.
She is parroting neo feminist talking points regarding marriage which makes sense because the bulk(pun INTENDED) of fat "activism" is just lazily repackaged feminism.
I got married and the only thing that changed was my last name. Marriage for me just meant this is my forever person and I want to create a family with them at some point. Idk why people think of marriage as a prison. If you feel like that you’re with the wrong person
Congratulations 🎉
I married the man I was with when I was 17. Waited 10 years to do it and it was the best decision of my life 🩵 I love being married and I love my husband.
U are spot on about comparability
I assume that she thinks that her grandmother didn't like her, because the grandmother mentioned her weight few time. She probably was the only one in the family who talked to the creator about her weight.
Very interesting point.
To me, this just comes across as pick me behavior. “Im not like the other girls, I dont care about marriage” when in reality, marriage does a lot for women, especially stay at home moms who would be otherwise financially ruined if they left a long term boyfriend vs husband. Although, this video did highlight that she has a very strong black or white, all or nothing mentality; and ignores valid arguments in favor of her own personal testimony when she has not experienced the other side and cant compare. To see she is this way with other topics and not just FA rhetoric makes me wonder what makes someone susceptible to this sort of logic denying cognitive dissonance.
@@Poopiepies I wonder if her views or thinking skills would shift if she got healthier, mine certainly did.
@@GraphicallyAlex amen, I know my mindset/ thought process has been the biggest shift in my health journey ✨
Marriage is for those who want it and will do the work. But i agree being married too young may not be the move but everyone has to do whats right for them.
I don't understand why you connected this to fat acceptance. this is a sentiment a lot of women from all different backgrounds have. I get that you think she doesn't invest in her health but the point of your video is that different people can have different priorities , but you're judging her for not making weightloss a priority
She IS a fat activist. You may agree with her stance. I never really said anything one way or the other about her decision regarding marriage (except that it isn’t universally correct for ALL women.) but regardless of anything she DOESN’T invest in one of the most important areas of her life. Her career, her money will not matter if she takes her health for granted. Health runs through all aspects of life, single or married. I’m actually giving her, and younger women very sage advice. If you are too busy projecting your own insecurities into it that is YOUR problem.
@@GraphicallyAlex I mean, im not saying I agree with her, but you're advice is just as biased as hers is. and nothing in her video has anything to do with fat activism. even if she is a fat activist, it's irrelevant in this this instance.
@sumchick345 In regard to health yes I am biased. I want you to know this is fat activist logic, the idea that health is irrelevant to all other life decisions is fat acceptance folklore.
@@GraphicallyAlex you're not seeing the hypocrisy though? you criticize her for pushing biased advice but you're doing the same thing within the same video. sure it's a good idea to invest in your health but that's up to the individual to make that decision. it may or may not work out in the end just like getting married young may or may not work out. it's all a toss up
@@sumchick345 I have never claimed to not be telling people what to do in regard to health. Fat activists often act as if they aren’t pushing anything onto anyone, I don’t. Anti-FA doesn’t really make that claim, only FA in general, which is what I was commenting on in that statement. But yes I am 100% biased in health, even if something happens to your health down the line obesity will simply make it WORSE. This should be very clear but this is an anti-fat acceptance channel, so yes, everything will come back to that. To be even more clear, I do not accept obesity, nor will it ever be accepted on this channel. Now I am done with this exchange.
She also comes across as classless through her needless vulgarity.
We need to DEnormalize swearing apropros of nothing.
Honestly, sounds like a big public cope because her boyfriend hasn’t proposed yet lol
@@KM-xx1qb 😭🤭
I am not sure you are qualified to discuss takes about marriages for girls 16-20 (or any girls), no offense.
Not to mention if she has more property than her boyfriend, I'd say not marrying is wise.
No connection to fat acceptance here either, clickbait.
@@EveRosellPlease unsubscribe. I don’t want you to follow me. Please just leave. If you genuinely feel that way just go.
@@GraphicallyAlex wasn't subscribed in the first place.
Putting your take on youtube and thinking it would only be recommended to your yes-croud is a bit strange.
Goodbye. I don’t want you here. Is that not clear? You don’t have an intelligent take. Your logic is flawed. You can’t understand what I’m saying. You are also blatantly wrong about the point I’m making. Go ahead and tell young women their health doesn’t matter as long as they don’t get married! I WONT do the same.
@@GraphicallyAlex how is it connected to the initial message about marriage at all?
You are talking just like fat activists yourself now, not actually replying to what is written and twisting the narrative in your own head.
@@EveRosellyou sound like a religious fundamentalist. I’m not interested in your dogma. I hope I never encounter you again. I cannot stand people like you. So annoying.
Witch Alex is my favorite Alex 🖤
Agreed