The Psychology of Generational Trauma in Encanto: Abuela Alma - Therapist Reacts!
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- Опубліковано 27 лют 2022
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Psychotherapist Georgia Dow goes into detail about Abuela Alma from "Encanto" and why she is so misunderstood.
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![ПОЛНАЯ ИСТОРИЯ ЭКЗОРЦИЗМА [Топ Сикрет]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/qBySr6Bt0B8/mqdefault.jpg)
I feel like the most heartbreaking part of Dos Oruguitas is the part where Abuela watched the mountains grow between her and where Pedro was killed. It felt symbolic of Abuela putting up walls between her and her trauma, so she wouldn't have to face it again. And it preventing her from being able to properly grieve.
yes that is very symbolic
It totally fits, especially when she, a young and suddenly widowed mother, has baby triplets to raise and a throng of refugees looking to her for leadership. The look that she has in her bedroom after that harrowing night is definitely one of somebody who survived a trauma.
During her river conversation with Mirabel, she starts by saying "I could never come back here again." She either means she couldn't bring herself to, or there was an impassable mountain in the way. Given the magic born from her trauma, I think it's both.
An antagonist isn't the same as being a villain. Abeula is the closest thing to an antagonist, but when you discover her motives, she becomes more sympathetic.
honestly, not really. An abuser is still an abuser, no matter what they might have gone through. Her kids and grandkids did *nothing* to deserve the treatment they got from her. She mightve had good intentions but she still hurt them majorly.
@@mh56487 definitely not, and she needs to be held accountable. But seeing as her motives were good, I think just the knowledge that she caused harm, is quite punishing in itself. And the healthiest thing for the whole family in this case is to acknowledge and mend their problems together.
@@ameliedavis5940 Correct, holding on to resentment, anger, and attempting to punish her in some way or deciding she didn't do enough, doesn't help "you", you being the people she has hurt.
That doesn't mean to forget it, and it's a difficult line to walk in which you keep the person within the family while also taking responsibility for the hurt caused (catty comments for everything, for example), buuut... The goal is to move forward. Focusing on what wrongs were made, rather than what beneficial changes and improvements can be done, stalls progress.
If I were to try to boil it down somehow, I'd probably say you want 80/20, if not even more slanted, of progress vs history. We need to know history to make progress, but focusing on that history entirely, stalls progress :)
@@mh56487 no the kids didn’t deserve it. But Abuela doesn’t deserve what happened to her either. If there was a hurricane, they wouldn’t deserve the destruction the hurricane caused, but it still happened. The affects are still there. It doesn’t change. People do the best that they can, and sometimes it falls short. Sometimes it’s the wrong thing
@@mh56487 I know you don't really have to forgive family, I know this sounds a bit personal for many of us, including me, but this is literally a Disney movie, so, they will take the better(?) road, the road of conciliation.If that's not possible in real life, be it for you or someone's you know, I am sorry, but, don't expect them to "punish" her because this is not real life, even though fantasy can be realistic, this is not the case.
You missed something really important there. It's normal cuz it's a Spanish thing. When she sees him, the first thing she said was Brunito. This is important because as latinos we tend to put ita and ito in the end of some words to put enfasis on how small they are, but when it's used for names it's a loving nickname and even more in this kind of scenes because it's her talking to her baby, her small child she loves so much. It's really sweet and a really beautiful moment, she doesn't need to say anything about how sorry she is and he doesn't need to hear it. Just the Brunito was enough to comunicate how much she loves him. Even more telling when she never uses the ito or ita for no one in the movie, she never said Pepita or Julietita. But she did say Brunito.
Love that makes it even more poignant
@@GeorgiaDow it's really telling when my dad cried when he heard the Brunito XD
@@shireri452 Same here, I went through the movie touched but tearless, at Brunito I broke. It's so small, yet so telling.
I agree with this whole statement except one part. She actually did use ito for Antonio when she says "thank you Toñito" when that breakfast scene happens after the party for Antonio.
Oh man. That's just...so... I'm going to cry. I am legit close to crying.
It's fascinating to me that Abuela understands not to traumatize Mirabel when she's a little girl but still has the after-effects rolling through the family just the same. Some folks have just enough emotional intelligence to really foul things up. Makes me wonder if the triplets ever got the full story from Alma about how Pedro died, beyond "Your dad stopped the soldiers and the candle built the encanto."
I envy Mirabel for her ignorance when she was young. My grandmother didn't give me that.
I don't think they did
I think her telling mirabel was the first time opening up because she realised that all this pressure she pushed onto herself caused all that pressure on the family too
Someone theorized that that version, the watered down stoic version Abuela tells Mirabel, is the version of herself she wants to believe in. Alma was in denial of her trauma and it’s effects then, and she was all the way until the end of the movie
Anyone else low key 'love' the sheer, raw emotion the animators put into abuela when she's grieving for Pedro? Very very touching animation. Has me crying every time.
so heartfelt
The animators nailed every character expression. My personal favorite was Isabela's during the proposal scene. Where you could very clearly tell her smile was a "trying to be normal when very clearly distressed" kind of smile. She also had that same face during Antonio's party and during a larger pan-by scene, you can see her in the corner dancing with Mariano
Another thing: if you look closely, you can tell that Isabela, her first grandchild, looks the most like her, and in a way, Mariano looks a little bit like Pedro. Alma lives vicariously through Isabela. If you look very closely to the pictures of all the Madrigals on their Door Day, Isabela is the only one she holds. However, while Isabela may look like Alma physically, she sees her own """'flaws"""" in Mirabel and therefore gets annoyed. What she and Mirabel have in common is their devotion and love to their family, which she sees at the end. Mirabel is destined to become the new Matriarch, which is why, much like Alma, she never got a gift.
Also, if you look closely at the pictures on the wall, you can notice that Abuela only patted Isabella when Isabella got her gift.
@@KL-ki8db exactly, that's what I meant with holding her. Isa also sports the twin braids there like Alma did in her youth
That's part of the theory why Isabela was the golden child of the family. She looked so much like young Alma that Abuela projected onto her as a second chance to live the happy life she wanted. The more Isabela fulfilled Alma's expectations the more it fed her biases that Isabela was a copy of herself
@@ahstiasummers5583 There's also the fact that Isabela is the oldest of the grandchildren. Because of that, she would have been the first Madrigal grandchild to receive a gift and therefore would have provided Alma with the assurance that the Miracle would continue into the next generation. I think that too plays a role in why Isabela was the golden child of the family.
Thank you for pointing that out. I was beginning to believe that I was seeing things since nobody else even mentioned it.
Just to add a bit more context to the scene where Pedro dies, Colombia has a history of different violent groups (cartels, militias, guerrilla groups, the bloody CIA etc) constantly fighting each other and either drafting or forcing people to fight with them. This means that people within one village can find themselves on different sides of a battle.
There is a theory that the group that chased Abuela and Pedro out of their homes were people they knew. And Pedro was trying a last ditch attempt to reason with them.
This is another reason why the theme of generational trauma is so prevelant in the movie.
That would make a lot of sense since Pedro just using himself as a shield would not have slowed the soldiers down by much.
That would make sense, because using himself as a human shield wouldn't work.
I can't begin to imagine what that does to you, with civil war and its aftermath. My take on it is that, while Alma might be an antagonist, the true villains are the intergenerational trauma, the family's inability to articulate their troubles, and definitely the forces driving the violence.
Ooogh, you must be right, poor sweet man!
I also ugly cried during Dos Oruguitas. Is so hard. Alma's trauma is one of the biggest a human can go through. Pedro saved not only her but all the others and Abuela keept them safe with the gifts. Beautiful, just beautiful. So selfless even in her pain.
Selfless? She was opposite of that. That's why family got so fucked up.
@@berilsevvalbekret772 Alma raised 3 kids with magic powers and guided refugees to build a functioning community. Not to mention her kids' magic powers didn't come with how-to manuals. She was alone and had no one to help her through all that, but she tried. Her intentions were noble, though taken to harmful extremes where she pushed her family to be perfect and always serve the community regardless of personal desires. Parents don't always do the best or right things. They sometimes don't know things themselves and accidentally mess up their kids. But what helped was that Alma apologized and is trying to be better.
I perceive the ending after Alma's apology as "We know you went through tough times and we don't blame you for trying to be a good parent though you weren't always such. We can work together to be stronger than before"
@@berilsevvalbekret772 she raised 3 kids and an entire community. She is the definition of selfless.
@@berilsevvalbekret772 Her biggest fear was to be homeless again and letting all village down. She was hard because she felt responsible and passed that on to her kids and grandkids. Always putting others before her own pain. Raising 3 kids and protecting a whole community while grieving her husband makes her selfless to me.
I mean she clearly went through some kind of ptsd and didn't really get to process her trauma. Are people not understanding this or they just don't want to humanize her? She didn't have anyone else, she had so much responsibility and she went about it wrong at times. But that wasn't on purpose. She wasn't mistreating people just for the sake of it. Maybe if she hadn't gone though those losses she would've been an entirely different person. She seemed happy and playful and loving. But she felt she had to be strong and sometimes even cold to keep her family together and not lose her home again. She just never realized that as much as her family helped and supported her community, so did they. I cried when the whole town came and helped them rebuild their house.
That "Brunito" is so important. in spanish adding ito/ita onto anything is a term of endearment. it basically means little. she could have just called him bruno, but she went with the term of endearment which is so important since he was an outcast. it signifies acceptance and love to bruno.
Oh that’s beautiful thank you for telling me
She saw him as her baby boy.
Gotta say I love the symbolism with abuela's name. In Spanish, "alma" means "soul". And Pedro which comes from "Peter" means "rock". She is the soul of the family and the town, and he is the foundation. Also in the song, the line "en dos capullos bien abrigadas" means "(two caterpillars) in two cocoons all wrapped up" is the exact moment she puts on her mourning shawl, in Spanish abrigado/a can also be "sheltered". Abuela wraps herself in her shawl and begins to move forward, sheltered by his sacrifice but also still very defined by her grief. It's very realistic and well done, and so so sad.
What’s most horrifying is that people all over Ukraine now have to make the same choices Alma and Pedro had to make for their safety, for their children. Unimaginable.
I hope you are safe and this is resolved peacefully
That's one of the most painful things about it; this can happen to anybody. It becomes "Sophie's Choice".
Once again, power-hungry reprobates traumatize civilians by forcing them to flee their home only with what they can carry. I can't stand it.
I don't blame Alma for responding as she did; I'd probably have done the same if I endured something as harrowing as she endured.
It's still happening in Colombia, too. Has been for decades- centuries, even. Rural communities in Colombia live through forced migration as guerilla forces chase and terrorize them, and nothing is being done to stop it. That's why this movie was made; it was to draw attention to the never-ending conflict and suffering.
I never disliked Abuela Madrigal. She immediately reminded me of my own grandmother: someone who never stopped being in survival mode despite the danger being over.
My grandmother grew up during the great depression in Mexico. She started working at 5 years old for pennies and was often overworked and taken advantage of. She lost her father at an early age, she suffered neglect because her mom had to take care of her grandmother who was gravely I'll. Hey own mother was also physically abusive if she ever made a mistake so she grew up to be a perfectionist that expected the same from others especially her children. She never really healed from her trauma. She had no knowledge or resources to do so. She latched onto religion to survive and instilled its importance to her children. When I was young I struggled like Maribel. I hardly ever met her high expectations. But after she passed away and I learned more about psychology I understood how her past had such a profound effect on her. She was strong and stoic but there were many things that would make her break down as though she were reliving the pain. She spent her whole life working herself to the bone because that was how she expressed her love. I wish I could helped her more. I wished she could have reached the point Abuela and Maribel did.
I am sure she is proud of you in her way, she had a tough life.
When I watched the movie, I found it was easy to forgive Abuela at the end because whoever wrote this did a good job but also because she chooses to acknowledge and accept her role in the house falling apart AND she made an effort to amend that damage. She doesn't make excuses, only shows how the road she walked made her who she was, apologizes, and begins to reach out.
Notice the color difference between the noble story and the actual story? The noble story only shows a warm light between Pedro and Alma and behind the bad people. But in the true scene, The colors changed to blue and the only warmth is from the candle.
Good catch
I headcanon that abuela definitely cries alone in her room. She's grieving throughout the movie and I just noticed when she walks past Bruno, Isabella and Luisa that her blinking pattern looks like someone trying to stop themselves from crying.
I absolutely love Abuela, tbh. She's a very well developed character and feels so realistic. Even from the start, I never hated her since I figured her behavior was from trauma in her early life. I won't lie; I was annoyed by her actions a lot (kept screaming "COMMUNICATION PEOPLE" at the TV). However, I think having someone like Alma in media is SO IMPORTANT in breaking the abuse cycle. This movie shows us the importance of communication, that it's okay to be vulnerable, to hold people accountable to their actions but not to hold resentment, and, of course, how to grow and heal from it. This is so vital to breaking the abuse cycle.
I can understand why people are hard on her also it’s hard sometimes to see the layers in people
I think one thing to also note is when Abuela lost Pedro - the conquerers weren’t gone. It was only the miracle that blasted them away.
She could have been next. Her children could have been next. Death was right there, right in front of her, and she was about to lose everything - except a miracle truly saved them.
It would have made it very very difficult to let it go - because that’s just more trauma. And because of it - she became so scared. The day she lost control was the day she nearly lost everyone.
Was what she right for what she did? No - and she caused a lot of pain for it. But hopefully, once those walls drop, people can begin to heal.
To add to the beginning portion of the video, the implication is that Pedro was murdered by these horsemen with machetes and did not confront them violently at all himself. This isn’t a quick, painless death; it’s horrific, possibly the most horrifying death of a sympathetic character in any Disney movie I’ve ever seen (implied).
Alma witnessed that and I cannot help but break down into tears myself as her pain is portrayed in full, she is weeping desperately on her knees. Losing a loved one to unjustified violence is trauma enough, but she witnessed and went through far worse.
I cannot hate her for how she carried on with her life, all things considered she did as best she could and in the end even acknowledged her best was hurting her family. My own abuelita Estela went through similar trauma and even had a similar story in her later years, Encanto got my Dad and I talking about her too.
I also noticed that it seemed that Alma’s pain and rage also lit up the candle to kill of the soldiers. After enduring that horrifying ordeal of seeing Pedro killed and herself indirectly killing his murderers must have caused Alma to harden and show only a stoic face towards others then on.
I showed this movie to my mom who is toxic and can never take responsibility for her toxic and bad behavior. She flipped out and refused to talk about it. They say looking into a mirror is hard. I think what got to her is that the person who was in the wrong offers an honest unconditional apology and accept responsibility. That was too much for my mom.
I'm sorry. That's... that's so incredibly hard. But I'm glad you have the maturity and nuance to recognize the difference between your experience and what was depicted in the movie. I hope there's someone you can talk to, professionally, if you haven't/aren't already.
I was really angry at Abuela (as I imagine you're supposed to be) right up until the end of my first watch, where she immediately went from "the only character I don't like" to one of my favourites. Her story is so rich and textured, and while her attitude toward Mirabel in the early parts of the film still rubs me the wrong way, being able to understand her story and see where she came from, as well as watching her grow and open up to her family in the end, totally solidified her as one of the best characters in the film. And every character truly shines in this one, so that's a huge accomplishment!
This movie is a great example of the genre of magical realism. Generally, concepts and feelings and inner struggles of characters manifest as strange external reality.
yes it is it is very well done
What I love about the butterfly motif thruought the movie is the phrase Alma sings: "I'm sorry I held on too tight" Because as the saying goes, "Love is like a butterfly; if you hold on too tight, it will die."
Oh, that's clever, never thought of that.
I feel like Alma is the prime example that not every antagonist is necessarily the villain.
I should show this to my mom. She kinda is like abuela and maybe she would see a diffrent point of view and can start healing because of this video. By the way I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS!
Nope
She wouldn't
@@AllyInReality found the pessimist
All the best!
@@AllyInReality Dont be a Pesimist
a detail I just noticed when Abuela is walking past her grandkids. Her head tilts down ever so slightly every time she walks past someone, as if it's becoming harder and harder to remain that stoic figure that everyone depends on
There's a nice bit of visual symbolism at play in the form of Abuela's black shawl. She dons it during "Dos Oruguitas" when she makes the decision to lead her family and the community, and it acts as her own cocoon, protecting her from any emotional connections that could cause her harm. Then, when Mirabel apologizes to her and they share a deep emotional connection, she takes it off again.
I keep hearing you say when describing Abuela “im the strong one” or “must be perfect because the community is looking to her” and I immediately think of Isabella and Luisa. For every small issue Luisa is called upon, and Everyone (including Alma) expects nothing but perfection. I people have already been saying that Alma projects onto Isabella, but what if she is with Luisa in a different way. Heck, what does that say about how she viewed Mirabelle, the third of the sister of that projection? It’s kind of like she views Mirabelle is her weakness, her powerlessness and is harder on her as a result
I was taken aback by them showing in the second retelling just how RAW Alma's immediate grief was. Usually in Disney movies, the grief reaction does not go beyond what we were shown in the very beginning. But that. That was real anguish. I felt that viscerally and it made me cry immediately.
A lot of people missed abuelas segment in the introduction song of the family where she basically says 'if we dont work hard and prove ourselves worthy we will lose the magic that protects us', the trauma is strong, big concept of generational hereditary trauma in this movie
The thing I'm surprised the most is no one blames or shames mirabele for having no powers, only consolation and there were no elements of anyone trying to 'steal' their power (the candle) which would be more typical disney plot
Except the candle isn’t the power as you will notice when the house comes back the candle does not. The power is in Abuela and later in Maribel she is the one that brings the house back that is her gift.
God you're right about that last part, that would have fucked over the whole movie even as a side plot. *I'm looking at you, Hans.*
@@Zikkar well half the conflict/climax of the movie comes from worrying the candle will go out and THAT will stop their powers, so clearly they all thought it was the candle for literal decades
@@Zikkar well half the conflict/climax of the movie comes from worrying the candle will go out and THAT will stop their powers, so clearly they all thought it was the candle for literal decades
most people in the town were probably the same ones Abuela's magic saved the night Pedro died who probably told their children and grandchildren the story of how they were all saved.I dont think anyone would dare turn against the Madrigals when they basically owe Alma their lives
Something that I learned about in family therapy is called noble intent. The idea that most people are behaving in a way that they think will be helpful even if it’s not. Looking for the noble intent in a person’s behavior has helped me with empathy.
Something I thought was a small detail, but also quite beautiful and sad, Abuela is wearing her shawl of mourning from the day after Pedro dies to today. She never let him go :'(
My grandmother had heavy trauma before I was born, and that translated into her being abusive while I was young, so Abuela hit way too close to home for me. Even if I understand the “why,” I can’t get over the “did.”
Agreed. I think people misses that point. Just because someone has trauma doesn't give you the right to hurt your family. I emphatize with her but god do I hate her.
@@berilsevvalbekret772 no one is saying that - trauma explains abuse, it doesn't excuse it. There's a difference. Alma actually apologizes and makes an effort to be better. I'd say she's not deserving of hatred. Not at all.
Alma didn't really abuse her family. She just passed her generational trauma on to them. Honestly, people who haven't been through a tenth of what she has do the same thing all the time. Placing tough expectations on your kids and grandkids, combined with a culture that venerates the eldest family member, is very common in most ethnic groups, especially first-generation immigrants, and *especially* war refugees, which she was.
God, my grandma does the voice thing. She doesn’t know how not to bark orders. It’s gotten to the point where I’ll think I’m hearing her in my sleep and jolt awake, even when I’m not sleeping in her house.
i am so sorry
I loved Abuela through the whole movie. She was a wonderful example of an Antagonist. She Clearly loves her family. She clearly is an excellent Leader. She raised her family with excellent values. And she represents everything about how negative Virtues can be. How trauma can shape a person but also how that trauma is an Explanation for your actions NOT an Excuse. Just A+ writing on her.
I cried so hard when I learned Abuela’s story. Yes she didn’t do everything right but no one’s perfect and she apologized. She learned and grew and is definitely not a villain.
Boy was I waiting for this video! People hate so much on Abuela Alma, while they are willing to like and sympathize with actual villains like Ursula, Maleficent and even Mother Gothel ("she's so funny!"), who gaslit the hell outta Rapunzel...
This is not a story about defeating/overcoming villains obstacles. It's about healing!
Well said, It’s about healing
I feel like the scene with Abuela walking down the hallway with each of her children/grandchildren and each of them showing unhappy faces, since it's from Abuela's point of view, she was very much probably aware, under all her other emotions she was feeling, that her family was unhappy, and that it took Mirabelle to force her to accept it.
Thank you for doing this video, Abuela Madrigal is one of the most misunderstood reccent disney characters to date and it’s nice to see people actually analyze her character other than simply breaking down complex trauma responses into “why does she hate mirabel so much”.
As a Latina, I find it interesting that most of the other Latin people I’ve spoken to about the movie think of the ending of her being redeemed and the family being preserved (albeit with a new perspective going forward) as the ideal ending, whereas many non-Hispanic discourse I’ve seen dismisses Abuela as toxic and says that she ought to have been cut off and was forgiven too quickly. I think it really illustrates the emphasis on individualism in American culture as opposed to the collective spirit and the emphasis on family unity in Latino culture. There’s a difference between people who mean well but engage in toxic behaviors, and truly toxic people that need to be removed from your life. And Alma did take accountability for her actions and the movie shows the BEGINNING of the healing and reparation process. You have to offer acknowledge and forgive before you can build a new relationship. It broke my heart that some people seemed to think that Abuela was some abuser that didn’t deserve to be redeemed.
@jf k You’re so right! Thanks for sharing your perspective. No one is one-dimensional. I’m not saying that kind of behavior should be permitted, but I think that if we rely too heavily on the mentality of cutting people out of your life the minute they exhibit toxic BEHAVIOR, we can stop seeing the immense value of using accountability and communication to preserve those relationships. That’s why I’m so glad Encanto depicts that, kids will grow up with a much healthier idea of how to set boundaries and stand up for how they deserve to be treated without completely abandoning relationships that can be both healing and loving with just a little bit of work ❤️
I need an Encanto show or sequel because I don’t want your videos on this family to stop being made.
The way the movie called me out on my behaviors I have used to cope in the past and still struggle with today, I found myself relating to every character in some way.
Yes!
Something I like about how they portrayed Abuela, is that they showed her motivations early on. When Mirabel sneaks under her window, we hear how worried she is about the candle. That she does know something is wrong and she's truly scared for her and her family. She is just like Maribel, she wants to do what's best for the family. She wants to fix the mess before it gets worse.
The problem is she picks the wrong method, and it puts her on an antagonistic end to Maribel as a result, and her fears become a reality.
And she is in the wrong! I want to make that clear... but the fact her motives come from genuine fear and love for her family, and she tried to keep it all together for them, makes it more sympathetic. Like "you f*cked up... but you didn't mean to. Time to help you find a better way..." and the fact she admits it in the end, helps bring Maribel home and opens up to her and embraces her... I feel it makes her a really understandable person. I'm glad she has the time to make it better and help heal the family and herself.
One thing I think you should've covered is that, right before Casita collapses, when Mirabel says that Abuela is the reason why the miracle is dying, the look of self-realized horror Abuela has on her face as she finally realizes what she has done.
Awesome video! -I may have cried, lol.- I'm convinced that Mirabel didn't receive a gift because it was a last-ditch effort by Casita, a manifestation of Pedro's love, to save the family and the Encanto: If Abuela had been able to reassure Mirabel in that moment and rally everyone together around the real miracle--their community and family, as you said--then everything would've been fine; but even though Abuela hadn't, Mirabel as a result grew up without a specific "role" in the family structure, enabling her to challenge that structure without fearing losing a place she didn't have. That's what gave her the resilience to be the truth-teller in the family, I think, and ultimately save them all. THAT was her real gift. Which circles me back around to Abuela: Because her point of view was never about personal entitlement and convenience but actually protecting everyone, she was eventually able to hear Mirabel and make amends. I love this movie so much. ♥
There’s a lot of, sorry, immature perspectives going on surrounding Abuela. “An abuser is an abuser” is so reductive and simplistic. Abuse is abuse, that is true, but intention and motive matter when it comes to moving forward or choosing to forgive (which is up to the victim, of course). There’s a massive difference between someone who is intentionally cruel and someone whose own issues/traumas/personal history bleeds over and damages the other relationships in their lives. There’s a reason she can’t see that she’s the source of the family’s discord. She’s far too focused on “keeping the family together” and “maintaining the miracle” because, fifty years later, she’s still raw and aching from Pedro’s violent death and her displacement at a vulnerable time in her life.
Most people, even good people, will at some point hurt others unintentionally, and if they’re not corrected/don’t get a chance to realize that they are on a damaging course… they can keep doing it.
That is not the same as someone being intentionally cruel, and it’s a far more common occurrence. Nuance is important. It doesn’t negate harm but it is critical for understanding.
I heard another theory about Alma. She tried to cope with her trauma by focusing on protecting the magic/miracle and encouraging her family to constantly help the community to make Pedro's death mean something. Very noble intentions. But her continued repression of her trauma led to maladaptive coping mechanisms as the candle/magic became all Alma cared about as she forgot why her family was given the gift
I know she wasn’t really a villain because in truth, I know how characters talk. When I saw the first scene, I felt a bit of “This doesn’t seem right” because you know Disney and all. I scoff saying it’s just a flashback. Then I saw the whole truth and I cried. What’s worse is that she only told the others the noble story while suffering the truth.
And Alma has to suffer being the leader and a mother of three kids with no father. The town expected her and her family to nurture them after their home has been taken away, and with the magic growing, she thought she could protect them from the horrifying event.
She's more of an antagonist (who gets redeemed) than a villain really.
I like how even though she's an antagonist, she's not a villain. Since "antagonist" and "villain" get used so synonymously, it shows the stark difference between the two words.
In the honest version of what happened, when abuela Alma sees Pedro died, and she screams and fall on her knees, the expression of pain in her face, I don't know how and illustration can transmit so much pain but it brakes my heart every time 😭
Also, a small detail that I love is that "Alma" means soul in spanish, so abuela represent the soul of the family
honestly i really want a TV show where she is able to slowly get her family back and show them how much she cares, it must be hard having that huge realization that she was the bad guy all along 💔
It's interesting that all the doors and their respective occupants are of those she has hurt and that as she passes each, her eyes move progressively down. Maybe that's her being self-aware enough to actually know of the pain she is leveraging from everyone for the sake of the town and family. Going from oldest to youngest.
I like how you humanized abuela taking into account all she's gone through, however as a person who suffered from narcissistic abuse for years and being latin myself I got triggered a lot of times watching this movie, I guess it's safe to say that "hurt people hurt people" just like abuela did to her whole family under a reign of control and fear that lead into most of them having anxiety and not letting themselves to express how they really felt. I am not saying she's a bad person, but when we are not accountable (she did at the end though) these are the consequences of our decisions.
I love your work and I always have a blast watching your videos, thank you for showing this side of abuela that I know I needed to see.
Yeah, my boyfriend’s mom is like this. Controlling and demanding and doesn’t take no for an answer when it comes to getting her way. It’s hard to accept love from someone who is constantly hurting you, even if it’s “for your own good”
Luckily, abuela did take accountability for her actions. She said they were broken because of her. Which is true, but explains why she is the way she is. So we understand why she was so tough. And then we they got back she said she was sorry and said your magic isn't what make you special, the person is. She means well and knew she was in the wrong, but it's probably harder for some people when in real life.
@@StefonTV1 oh absolutely, I know I'm talking from my own trauma, but as a latin I know that most of the times the apologies never happen, it's more of another member of the family telling you what happened to them but the fact that you've been through stuff doesn't mean you or anyone has a green pass to hurt other people, which is why the family turns out to be the way it is.
@@ElberethRojas yeah. I hope you're doing okay despite the stuff you've went through.
@@StefonTV1 thanks a lot! Therapy has helped a bunch for sure 😊 I hope you're having a wonderful day and I wish you a great life! ✨
Alma is such a well-done character. She's an antagonist, who puts an insurmountable amount of pressure on her family, and scapegoats Mirabel. At the same time, she's also a broken, hardened, and terrified old woman who desperately wants to keep everyone from hurting the way she once was hurt.
My favorite thing about this movie is how every character is such a rounded and humanized person, even a minor character like Mariano, who's more than just the handsome idiot.
11:00 honestly, a closed off town in early 1900’s Colombia, the only one she could even remotely turn to that MIGHT have SOME grief training is the priest and I dunno if I trust talking to that guy about grief 😅
This is a very nice and emotional video because I really see my abuela in Abuela Alma. My abuela lost her husband,my abuelo, to possibly cancer, leaving her with 3 young children to take care of. She was a stern woman trying to took a lot of responsibilities as the family matriarch. It is really a huge pressure that may harden a heart. But I am glad my abuela and my mom reconciled.
Hence, I sympathized with Abuela Alma and understood her motives. I, however, do not condone her actions.
Georgia...this video has made me realize how exceptionally blessed I have been. My parents, especially my Dad, made sure I felt loved first...then addressed whatever problem next. And we addressed it together. (Also...Knew you would cry today ;)
I’m so happy your foundation was love Cl : )
@@GeorgiaDow I want love to be my superpower. = )
Never thought of Abuela as the "Villain". Just needed a slap in the face, which she got. And she's willing to make changes.
In an effort to keep those she loves safe, she locks away her vulnerability and adopts a more authoritarian parenting philosophy. She may even demand perfection from her family because she's made the mistake of equating success and safety with happiness. This is ultimately stifling for growth because that's impossible to live up to.. If you hold onto something too tightly it's going to crack, which is exactly what she did and exactly what happened. I love using the house as a metaphor for what her family was feeling and experiencing internally.
Something I keep thinking about is how Abuela Alma *saw* Pedro killed. She saw it. Whether she remembers the sight or not, merely having those images somewhere in her mind must be extremely traumatizing. Even with a diagnosis of cPTSD myself, I can't even begin to imagine what Alma must deal with.
By the way, someone mentioned elsewhere that Alma's shawl is a mourning shawl. The way she keeps wearing it throughout most of the movie may symbolize that she's still grieving the loss of Pedro. It isn't until the end, where she connects with Mirabel and shows her pain that she puts the shawl down for good. It's like for the first time in decades, she finally feels that it's okay to love again.
I think an interesting thing you pointed out is that Abeula was telling the story to Mirabel so she was actually making sure to keep the worst emotional and traumatizing parts out of the story because Mirabel was a kid. The real problem is that she had to act strong for the whole community that Pedro protected and had the responsibility to use the gift his sacrifice probably created, so she never talked about her grief with anyone, even putting a strong front on all times around her own family. Honestly, the only time she didn't seem like the stern matriarch was when she danced with Felix on Antonio's gift ceremony, that was legit the only time I recall a smile before the ending. Oof. Abeula Alma needs a big ass hug and I'm glad she and Mirabel got it in the ending. I saw it as a sign that she finally allowed herself to be vulnerable to her family and it's great for her.
Honestly, I was crying internally when I saw the Dos Oruguitas segment. It takes a lot to get me to a breaking point in which I start crying. As a Jewish young adult, I could see just how much pain and suffering that Abuela Alma had to endure when she lost Pedro. That’s because I could see parallels between the Holocaust and the Thousand Days War that this scene has taken inspiration from.
At the start she was also very isolated in her new community. Right after that loss and pain and having to raise her kids while also leading her community at maybe 19-25 or so. She couldn't form those bonds of friendship and trust that are so needed in a new community because she had to lead them and guide them.
Never clicked on a video so fast that I was 40 seconds on upload time. Also, thank you for your videos on communication, I'm using them for my nursing school test on the topic of communication
That's fantastic, best of luck with your course, I hope that you do well! 🍀🤞
@@trinaq thank you so much, and I hope you have a great day and good luck to you as well 🙂
I like how her clothes always matches the character's clothes and what they wear.
thanks. it makes me happy when someone notices
Dos Oruguitas wrecks me every time. Man.
so beautiful
The song is for the past and the future. if you use English subtitels you know the song is about 2 caterpillars turning in to butterflies. Caterpillar 1 is Abuela and 2 is Mirabel needing to accept change.
I think what makes Abuela's story worse is that there's a big chance that what they fled was la violencia (a period of 1948 and 1958 characterized for violence between everyone, destruction of property, death, etc), so they might be fleeing their former neighbors and friends. Not strangers. A part of what Abuela can be terrified of is that, if their strength fails, her neighbors and friends can turn against her again.
My great grandfather lived through it, my grandmother told me that (luckily the only thing lost was the medical equipment in his practice. I can't imagine how scary living through it must be, as my grandmother was already alive at the time
I love how you are such an empathetic person. No matter who the person is you always are able to empathize with them. It’s very admirable. ❤️ also I love your content
Thanks so much. High praise : )
Yes! Everyone is too harsh on Abuela! For all Julieta claims she's so hard on Mirabel, I felt she was trying to tell her as nicely as possible to maybe sit back and let the family do what they do best. Yes. It is hurtful and she's not acknowledging how it's hurting Mirabel, but she's not being this massive abuser people make her out to be. She was only cold when Mirabel didn't get a gift, because she became too afraid of losing the gift. We see this because she was even laughing when Casita was rushing them to begin the ceremony. And she was so sweet to Mirabel and a lot more relaxed until the ceremony went wrong.
Sorry to rant but I will fight for this woman.
Fully hear you
Please, she was abusive enough Bruno ran away, she did everything we saw in the film, and let's not forget the grooming of Isabella
@@frost_bite7308 This.
@@OhNoTheFace apologies, that was not me, someone hacked my account
@@OhNoTheFace I agree. Her trauma is an explanation, but it's not an excuse for her actions. If we ever get an Encanto 2, I'd love to see her redeem herself (ik she's technically redeemed, but we've only gotten a glimpse of what she could be).
Abuela really missed a lot. She thought Mirabel was less for not having a magic gift but Mirabel was in a very unique position. None of the townsfolk had magical gifts either. She could understand their desire to help but their inability to help as well as Luisa or Julieta.
Anyone else *still* not able to really sympathize with Alma by the end? Her trauma *explains* (but doesn't justify) why she behaves the way she does, but she was still not the best parent/grandparent, and her realization by the end really just made me go "fucking FINALLY" rather than tug at my heartstrings
The song they play is so emotional, but I didn't cry until I saw her in the newly built Casita with that blank shell shocked look with her babies in front of her. That's when the emotion of what she went through hit me. She looked numb. It was just a realization that she can't afford to grieve. She has 3 children to raise and a village to lead. It was really heartbreaking.
What I’ve noticed with Abuela is:
Say you have unresolved family trauma without saying you have unresolved family trauma: I hate Abuela
@aboveaveragejoe At least it's on fictional character ^^"
@aboveaveragejoe I have an "abuela ", she siad to me "I love you" the first time when I was 22 years old ,irealized I just felt both empty and angry and buffled, at the end I just understood at that point I didnt'even care about her love,Ileanred to be happy without her for 22 years ,and I dont' need her, I don't know what I can do with her love(?) . I just realized the I can be polite with her ,wihtou expecting the same treatment like my cousin , but on the other hand I can be free in a way they can't be .
@aboveaveragejoe As someone who has cPTSD due to decades of abuse... you're absolutely right. Despite the medication and therapy, it's hard to not see my abusers in Alma's mid-movie behaviors. The ending is what showed me how much alike the two of us are. It's painful to see. I need to process it, but I don't know how to without retraumatizing myself over and over.
Also there's the fact that the candle is representative of her last memory of abuelo :(
I think the one who absorbed the most of Alma's fears, without being aware of it, was Luisa. A lot of what you said applies to her as well. Maybe that's why Abuela seemed so distant from her. Maybe she was subconsciously dissociating herself from insecurities she didn't want to face, just as Luisa hid her own self-doubt under a veneer of invulnerability.
And she has some of the heaviest bags under her eyes I’ve seen in all of Disney. She is so exhausted constantly working on fear and anxiety she takes no rest probably even at night.
Abuela was who I wanted to see the most from Encanto and I thought you were done with it. She seemed the most understandable to me and had such a beautiful redemption. Great video!
2 minutes in the video. Just can’t. Chills and tears all over.
Gaah! I started crying when you started crying. Abuela's story really is heartbreaking.
with you
The moment Alma put on the black shawl is the moment she transforms into Abuela Alma. It is the moment she locks her fears, her pain and all other feelings inside her and sets her eyes on a much bigger objective: to protect the townsfolk. She feels it is her duty to be the grandmother to everyone who escaped and, sadly, she "sacrifices" her own children and grandchildren to achieve that goal. It (the goal of protecting everyone) becomes her axis, everything she does is to further that goal and she instills that notion in her family from a young age, telling them that their gifts are only good in service to the community. Not to say these are not noble and very understandable goals, but Abuela Alma became so focussed on them (the scene where Mirabel is in front of Abuela and Abuela is looking into the distance to me symbolizes that perfectly) that she forgot to look down, at her children and grandchildren and see who they are. Another thing, I personally believe that the candle and the Casita are symbolic of Pedro, the grandfather. He sacrificed himself to protect everyone and his "spirit" made that a reality through magic. He gofted his children and his grandchildren abilities that would help everyone: Pepa can help with crops and water, bringing rain and sun when needed; Julieta can heal almost everything with her cooking (remarkably useful in a place where most people will work with their hands) and Bruno can help predict what disasters might come to pass and so people can make preparations to withstand them. But even Pedro is not omniscient and he/his spirit realized that the family was breaking apart from the inside, and as such he tasked his youngest granddaughter with finding the craks and mending them. Her name, Mirabel, I believe can be very roughly translated to "see beauty" (mira=to see; bel=beleza=beauty), plus she is the only Madrigal to wear glasses, the only one capable of seeing beyond the limits of what Abuela Alma can see.
I am not saying I think Abuela Alma is a villain or a bad person, too many women in my country have had similar experiences to her (losing husbands, brothers, fathers and sons to war and fascism during the 1940's and nearby years), and many of them behave how Abuela Alma behaves: the fix their eyes on a goal, a goal of building a better life, lifting themselves and their families out of poverty but the ones who suffer most during that process are their children. Not that they don't love their children, they are simply so focussed on working very, very hard, on keeping the house up and running (many times all alone and for years on end) that they "forget" to show who they are to those around them, often times only showing that to their grandchildren, that usually are born during more prosperous times, when the grandmother already has a more stable life, but by then their relationship with their own children has been set and both parties are very reluctant, if able, to reevaluate their relationship and endeavor to talk about sensitive subjects, many times they both lask the words to express their feelings.
On a different note, loved the video! Hope to see more wonderful analysis from you.
My father died of cancer 19 years ago when I was 5 and my mother died 3 years ago after experiencing 6 years’ pain of disease. When my mother was seriously sick and I was in high school, my only big sister was in prison. There was no one else around us. I can still remember that my mother had to stay in the hospital and finish her surgery all alone and every time I went to see her, there was always a smile on her face. She took it all alone so well that I could not see what she was really experiencing. All I thought was how to get away from all of that pain and I drowned in it so deeply that I didn’t realize that my mother was the one who really needed care and love, and no one, literally NO ONE gave her that. Even before she died, she had never told me how much pain she was in. I feel so so ashamed of myself and I can never be able to have a chance to make up for it.
After watching through the movie in my first language and being hit even harder than before, i can't help but wonder how you would dissect Mariano Guzman; he's not a main character, but he IS a prospective member of the family and, like Alma, he's got the fans polarized.
Huh? What's so polarizing about him? He's just... a dude. Kind of a hopeless romantic? Idk, there's not MUCH there, how the HELL can such an unknown character be polarizing? Goodness, people like to get upset about all kinds of junk, it seems.
I love your Family Madrigal commentaries and breakdowns. It helps so much in processing all the feels that this movie stirs up in me. Also, I love how you're wearing the same outfit as Abuela. Lovely touch. 😊
happy you noticed =) thank you
I'm so glad to see this one! I really love Abuela Alma and this video i feel does her justice! I am curious as to how you interpret her portion of The Family Madrigal song being the Dos Oruguitas melody; i have my own thoughts on it, of course, but i wonder if they line up with yours ^u^
HOLY SHIT I DIDNT REALIZE THE MELODY BEING- OMG.
I never noticed that before
What’re your thoughts?
@@EtamirTheDemiDeer I see the use of the Dos Oruguitas melody in The Family Madrigal as a nod to the fact that while everyone else moved on, Alma's still singing the same tune because she never healed. The words she sings i feel lend to this as well:
"We swear to always
Help those around us
And EARN the miracle
That somehow found us"
^ This part, to me, shows that she doesn't feel worthy of having lived when her beloved was killed in front of her. Thus, she pushes herself to be the best she can be and help everyone in order to feel as though she has earned the right to live when he gave everything for her.
"The town keeps growing
The world keeps turning"
^ This part, to me, sounds like the tone drops from a forward march to a sorrowful stand-still. To me it shows the deep sadness that comes with losing someone so incredibly close to you; life goes on, but they're gone. Things happen you know they would've wanted to be part of, but they're not there. Everyone else, even those who knew them, may have accepted the loss and moved on, but you haven't, and that's incredibly jarring. That kind of wave of remembrance can come flooding in at an otherwise happy moment and if you don't keep a stiff upper lip it can bring you to your knees.
"But work and dedication will keep the miracle burning
And each new generation must keep the miracle burning"
^ This part, to me, sounds like the bolstering one must do after a wave of remembrance in order to stand tall and keep going. Not just that, but it seems as though she associates the miracle with Pedro's memory and his sacrifice; thus, by keeping the candle lit generation to generation, it's as if there's still a piece of him with her. Because of the outlook spoken of above, she unintentionally pushes her own feelings onto her family, because it's all she knows. When Louisa says "i'm pretty sure i'm worthless if i can't be of service" it's a direct reflection of Alma's outlook.
Something i have yet to see addressed by anyone is the possibility that, when Alma looks away for a moment when saying sometimes it's best if "some of us" step aside and let the others do what they do best, she isn't just talking about Mirabel; Alma, too, doesn't have powers, and she probably knows better than anyone that her age is catching up with her. She likely wants to continue doing all the hard work she got used to doing to feel she's earned her life, but time is cruel on the human body and she very likely can't do things she once could. She could just as easily be telling herself it's okay to step aside and let the youngsters work by saying as much to the only other woman in the family who is powerless.
Something else i've noticed people possibly misunderstanding is the scene where Antonio had his animals warm Abuela's seat. Yes, she was surprised, but she thanked him regardless and says that they'll find a good use for his gift; he's, like, 5, so i don't see this as her being pushy, but rather her intending to give him some gentle guidance in a direction that will be ultimately beneficial. She loves her family and, as a matriarch without a special power, she feels it is her duty to help the younger Madrigals with finding their way.
Another thing i noticed is that people seem to take offense at the way she deals with Pepa. To this i simply point out the fact that the camera never focuses on Alma's face after Pepa snaps back at her. That being said, i took the liberty of pausing frames to take a look at her face as best i could, even when blurred, and every time, at least from what i can see, she appears hurt. She doesn't point out the clouds to be a dick about it; she knows how dangerous Pepa's gift can be if it gets out of control and as a single mom with no powers and no idea what to do about them, she's doing her best to avoid a catastrophe every time her daughter gets upset.
The fact that Bruno simply disappeared for like a decade without so much as a goodbye is easily a solid reason for the family to feel as though he abandoned them- and Alma, as the woman who raised him alone and worked so hard to feel she's living up to her husband's sacrifice, has every right to feel hurt and betrayed. When she says "Bruno didn't care about this family!" there's a clear undertone of "Bruno didn't care about me!" When Mirabel says Abuela's the one who doesn't care and who is breaking their home, Alma immediately shoots back with "Don't you EVER-!" in what is the most audibly passionate she's ever shown on screen, because in that moment her heart BROKE. After everything she's been through, all the hard work and dedication she's put forth for the sake of not just her family but everyone in the village, to be told by a child she helped raise in safety and comfort that everything is bad because of her, that all of her work was for nothing and she doesn't care- that's worse than shoving grandma down the staircase.
@@disodosid damn, those are some excellent observations! You definitely brought up points I haven’t seen before. Really hope Georgia gets to see them
One of the things I noticed about how Alma interacts with her family and community is in a way the opposite of Puss from the newest Puss in Boots movie...where in a response to that video I gave a quote from the book "Dune" about how a person can fall victim to "believing their own legend" in letting their ego get the better of them, Alma is in a sense attempting to suppress her own ego concerning her family's magic. Over the years many of them have manifested "gifts" that made them valuable to their community and Alma, trying to be "humble" about the miracles she and her family can perform, has locked them into those abilities as a sort of "duty" to the point that, as the events of the story show us, became a crushing source of societal expectation. On one hand it may well be a good thing that her family isn't running around trying to unfairly profit off their gifts, but on the flip side, as evidenced by the events of the film, the people of the town grew so dependent on the Madrigals that they almost couldn't function as a community without them...and in the case of Luisa, making them be so "humble" and helpful that she was, like her song describes, cracking under the pressure.
Wow, that's a nice take on Luisa. Thanks for sharing it.
someone in my family went through something similiar as Abuela and the trauma and hurt haunts her til today and she is very similar to abuelas character and how she treats others (even tho she doesnt see it herself). I just love how accurate the movie was when it comes to the traits and personality and Georgia does a great job explaining it!
I think the thing to remember is though some family and parents may do wrong by us and our emotions. But when we become empathic we have to remember these people went through unaddressed trauma themselves. We are only now in a time where we understand enough about these things to help people be guided through
I watched this for fun as I love the movie and then got described. I lost my mom at 16 (and several people in the few years after) and at 30 I have quite a lot of these traits or have in the past. Grief plays the long game.
It's more of a meta-commentary but seeing you telling us in advance that you'd get emotional and then ACTUALLY getting emotional while maintaining your explanations really is inspiring and emotionnally speaking, it really is a power move. As the unofficial therapist of my friends and family (despite telling them again and again that I have no qualification), it's healthy to remember that I'm still allowed to feel things
Your crying makes me smile and feel normal as I bawl my eyes out, too.
It's so beautiful to watch people cry for the right reasons.
It breaks my heart every time they show that scene of her past. Not only did this all happen, but she was a very young, naïve woman who had just gone through pregnancy and birth of triplets; and then she was forced to pick them up and literally go on the run. Physically, emotionally, mentally, hormonally this was a time she should have been at rest, especially considering it was at the turn of the century in a remote village where she likely gave birth to triplets naturally; but instead she was having to run for her life, carrying all of them. In part she was afraid to lose this perfection, because Pedro died to provide it, and if she failed it or allowed it to fail, then she was not being a proper caretaker for Pedro's sacrificial gift. For her, Pedro was the magic of the Encanto; and if it wasn't able to be perceived as strong and perfect, like she remembered him to be, then only she could be to blame.
I struggled watching this because of my personal experiences having parents like Abuela.
While I understand Abuela went through that trauma, it shouldn't be used as an excuse to hurt those around you. When Mirabel says there are cracks, Abuela even makes a joke at her expense to ease the tension.
And I probably feel this way because I still haven't healed from all of the mental abuse of my childhood. And this show has Abuela come to this realization all in one day? Unrealistic. I've tried figuring this out with my own parents and they still, after years, can't see what they are doing. It's so painful for me and watching Abuela do it in the movie brought up a lot of memories for me. It's just so hard to forgive when so much pain, when it feels intentional, is given by those you should love.
Yeah one day is kinda fast - but(!), Abuela feared to lose everything and it got fulfilled - it is possible to have a huge reflection in this short time - her whole fundament was taken away. Bigger question would be, if she would still command around (after the ending) because of habit
It seems like emotional abuse is not taken seriously. If she sexual abuse or physically abuse them, people wouldn't be saying, but trauma
I struggled with this too when I first watched it, it brought back so many painful memories. Unlike Abuela, the "Abuela" in my family never acknowledged how much pain she was causing, and it sounds like yours didn't, either. I'm sorry. That's incredibly hard. What eventually softened me to Abuela's story was realizing I was projecting my history onto a family with a very different history. I figure there's a difference between causing unintentional harm because you're legitimately trying you're best to keep everyone safe despite your own trauma vs. using your trauma as an excuse to be supremely selfish, and some of my family members fell into the latter camp. If yours did, too, my heart goes out to you.
So sorry you went through that : ( I hope you have people you love around you who appreciate you
@@GeorgiaDow seeing the movie Ikept asking myself" why they WANT to forgive her"? I honestly don't understand why . Ihave an "abueka",and thought not as much harsh like the one in the movie (at least with me ,becuse my arents did a better job to protect me comrped to julieta and agustin) , she said me "I love you" the first time I was 23 years old.. I felt so empty ,I felt like it was too late, Ileanred to live and be happy without her "love" for 23 years and Irealize d Ididn?t even care anymore about it , I literally aksied me what's the use.. sp no encanto 's ending ruin my mood everytime , I get mad eveytime I see how abuela getaway soeasily after 50 years of mental abuse
Encanto fanbase: Dos Oruguitas: oh boy! Time to cry again!
Yes sorry such a beautiful song
Great analysis as always.
Such a lovely analysis. Thank you.
Beautiful, heartfelt video.
I cry and still do any time I hear "Dos Oruguitas", feeling not only for abuela Alma but for Pedro as well
So you're not alone 😭😭😭
Also (edit): I cry when Alma and Mirabel reconcile because I feel like the stronger the trauma is, the stronger the tears of joy will be when that trauma is over (especially for very empathic people)
i cry also each and every time
I’m so glad you made a video on abuela! Ever since the first encanto video I wanted you to do her. So thank you!
ahh i’m so early! can’t wait to watch, i always love seeing your perspective on these characters! thank you for the video ♥️❤️
I was looking forward to this one, I love your videos! Greetings from Colombia 🇨🇴
My grandmother spared no punches when I was young. All the horrors of the genocide of the Residential Schools landed on me.
I envy my cousins who got the Abuela style version rather than the graphic debrief when I was five years old.
I'm terrified to be around my six year old granddaughter.
@Justice McPherson, I’m very sorry you went through that. The fact that you’re worried about making the same mistakes as your grandmother shows how empathetic and self-reflective you are as a person. Please develop a relationship with your six-year-old granddaughter, refusing to do so causes her to blame herself for your choice🤗