Enneagram Type 4 Checklist: 20 Key Traits
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- Опубліковано 9 лют 2025
- Enneagram Type 4 checklist, Enneagram Type Four traits, understanding Enneagram Type 4, challenges for Type 4 personalities, Type 4 blindspots and growth, emotional depth of Type 4s, Enneagram 4 self-awareness, creative strengths of Type Four, managing emotions as an Enneagram 4, Type 4 personal growth tips, Enneagram Type 4 self-discovery, Type 4 relationships and dynamics, improving life as a Type Four, how to thrive as an Enneagram 4, overcoming challenges as a Type 4, Enneagram 4 video guide, tips for emotional regulation, self-care for Enneagram Type 4, Type 4 envy and comparison, and unlocking potential for Enneagram 4 personalities.
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Dr. Tom LaHue is a graduate of Florida Christian College. He holds 3 Master's Degrees including an MDiv from Liberty Univ. His Doctoral degree is from Grace College and Seminary. He is also a certified Marriage Coach. He and his wife Traci have been married since 1991. They are the proud parents of 5 children and 5 grandchildren.
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Tom you're forgetting that fours feel fundamentally wrong and different. So that's why we end up just longing, because we don't think we could ever have the love we want. That's where our work is.
Good point
When i was less healthy, i think my ideal to be nice caused me to try to control people in a really subtle way that i couldn't even see myself doing. So kind of a passive or passive aggressive way. I've been really working on feeling my negative feelings and having the courage to let go so that I'm not trying to control people and situations
Gosh I wish to be less sensitive
And be able to not react or even ignore people
Dr. Tom! Our hero 😊
Awe, Thanks!
I’m a four; yet I want to be a combo of 4,7,and 8; they seem to have it together.
Also, the first time I tested for enneagram I was an 8! I was in crisis and very angry
Anyway I typically won’t dress differently to be individual but more that I cannot afford the expensive taste I have. I’ve always pretty much been unhappy with my wardrobe but didn’t realize it was that I couldn’t match it with the person I am; since I’m still not sure who that is.
Thank you for your compassion for us! Lots of uncertainty here…
Thank you for sharing your experience! It takes a lot of courage to reflect on your personality and wardrobe. I appreciate your honesty, and I hope you find the unique style that truly represents you!
Wow, I am a self perserving 4 but for a while I questioned whether I in fact am a 7. And here you are saying this type of 4 can look like a 7 so thank you for sharing your observations. I'm here to tell you you were right about this.
Also I am really grateful for what you do. God bless you! ❤
Thanks
Me as a social 4: afraid of people and their brutal and ignorant insensibility rather than feeling inferior, (at least on the conscious level), feeling misunderstood (I constantly get subtle nuances on human psychology and their behaviours that people don't). Most people like and think things I simply detest, so feeling of not belonging, resentment, can't stand people's mediocrity, vulgarity and not being listened to, need to be alone and rejection of social groups and society in general, pleasure in hiding away, great need of manipulation simply for survival in a world that is not mine. Self-hatred for existing. Complaint, insatiable dissatisfaction. Suffering and self-inflicted pain and pessimistic ideas as a means of preventing being even more hurt by people. Search for authenticity, lots of imagination, escapist idealism, sick introversion yet fake but incredibly well performed nice extroversion to hide sadness and disconfort before people. Self-centered... That's the brutal reality.
Thank you for your work.
I am self preservation 4 w 5 and I often behave and think like 1. I even hesitated whether I was really 4 or 1. I also sometimes have something of 7 in me. But on the level of values, feeling of myself inside, I definitely fit 100% into a 4, just have some external behaviours and thougths like 1.
Thanks for clarifying that.
Observing your annoyance when describing some of the more flaky aspects of the Four really sounds like the two sides of me arguing with each other.
947 tritype here and relate so closely to certain 4 traits, and not at all to others. This is helpful stuff.
(sp/sx 9w8, infp, 947, hufflepuff)
As a 4, I don’t think we set out to be manipulative. We find our way there by being human, and similar to envy, come up with our own brand of manipulation.
That's an interesting perspective! The complexities of being a Type 4 definitely lead to some nuanced behaviors. It's all part of the journey of self-discovery.
That’s interesting. I don’t see it as manipulative or controlling, just that I can see how things can be better (point #6- ideas are important to me or idealistic standards), and what is intended to be offering good ideas or saying how something could be done seems to come across to others as controlling. Great to think about this.
As a 4, every time Tom says you aren’t interested in Politics or football (I love both) is when my 4 comes out. “You just don’t get me” 😂
I definitely admire/respect that others appear to have a clear path, & have it all "figured out."
At almost 50, I've learned that's not the case at all.
And it saddens me.
Because I've discovered they hate their lives/life more than I often feel I hate myself.
Interesting
@twlahue 🤔🙏🏼
This is really accurate. Thank you for seeing all of us, Tom!
You're welcome! Glad it resonated.
Thank you Tom you help me understand myself as a 4🙂
Happy to help!
My nonfunctioning times looks like I've turned auto pilot on
Feeling sorry for me may not be changing my life, but it will make me seen and safe. This is a great place to start actually changing something myself.
Of course, I (or other 4) may not me in a state of mind for changing something rn, in that case we'll just feel some comfort. Kinda nice too.
(497, motivation is a task 😄)
My mama is a sx 4. You did a great (calmer) job on 4's 😂 this time...
4s deep down want the melancholy and longing itself
As a social 4w5, when I was younger I was more sensitive to criticism, but after becoming older I can take criticism if its constructive criticism. As for when things dont work out and works out for someone else, i can be happy for the person depending on who they are. If there’s any negative feelings its usually resentment for the people who are double faced but getting whatever they want, but im stuck. I think some of your examples/points are to the extreme. I dont feel upset reading sad stories in the newspaper. As for not enjoying the present moment, it depends who im with? Ik people who deliberately ignore me and im forced to heed as they want me to, so obviously i wont enjoy the present moment. Its not something to do with, others like it so its mundane. I dont cry easily. I dont wear different kinds of clothes or colour and style my hair a certain way or wear kinds of accessories to make me stand out.
You have alot of sessions with different types, so u may have seen alot of things but some stuffs dont resonate with me, as i’ve pointed out in this post. I know stereotypes exist for a reason but because of them, i feel like if there are genuine issues with type 4, its not taken seriously. I have opened up to friends before not done a push & pull dynamic, but it didnt help, so i just never prefer to talk about problems anymore because another thing i’ve noticed is that when you share problems, alot of people look for weaknesses in you and try to control or dominate you using those weaknesses
Thank you for sharing your insights! It’s interesting to see how different experiences shape our understanding of the Enneagram. Everyone’s journey is unique, and it’s important to acknowledge that not every trait resonates with everyone.
4/5 here… also ADD. Wondering if there is a high correlation with 4’s and ADHD?
Re: 4 being controlling. It is possible to disagree with me… But it has to be done with respect… If I don’t feel like have been understood… I will probably keep trying to be heard and understood.
This 4 wing says don’t tell me not to be excited if I feel excited
"Talking about dolpining" 🤯
🎼🔥🔥🔥🔥🎼😎
(commenting so much for the algos & stay engaged 😎🤜🏼🤛🏼)
The Struggle Is Real
As a 4
With lots of 8 in me
I heard so much that I am controlling
Haaa I am aware of it now
So trying not to control
But also I think by not controlling you are controlling
I wish the type 7 was out lol
Interesting, some personality typists think 4s don’t want to be understood
Wow
As a four I can tell you that this is not correct 😅
@@heatherberg7499 which typology do you follow?
I don't think I try to control people 😊
I'm a four also and wonder if you felt compelled to control a possible misperception by making this comment 😅
... cry easily ... 😭 Who me?!! 😂
This 3 couldn’t function for years with work grief
Oh yes I'm a very aggressive controlling four
Control? No. Do I see overcompensation, and curiously dive in (& vivdly & intense start observing & paying attention)? Absolutely. If someone makes a claim, and it doesn't match, and I get staunch hypocritcal resistance, and encourage them to see it (much like how they're constantly calling me on mine-first)? Also yes. LOL 😂
Criticism: Depends. If I'm feeling vulnerable...and/or if it's something they have shown they don't allow reciprocity on? Who doesn't? 🤔
Great comment. On both criti and contr. Agree!
@J_A_K 🤜🏼🤛🏼😎
Thanks
(If I'm a 4🤔)
Nuance. Do they Respect my intentions as they are (if you don't know, ask; we'll gladly tell you)?
Do they think I "want to be seen as: 'unique...' or, do the see that it's 'ORIGINAL/Authentic?'"
Intentions, Integrity, & Accuracy.
😎
PS
Amber Heard 😉🤜🏼🤛🏼😎
(aka what my divorce looked like LOL 😂😖🤣)
"Nuance. Do they Respect my intentions as they are (if you don't know, ask; we'll gladly tell you"
EXACTLY!
Actually, no point in quoting, both your comments are "spot on" to me. Fellow 4. 4w5.
God, Amber Heard.... haha
It's so important to have those conversations about intentions and authenticity! Understanding each other's perspectives really helps in fostering deeper connections.
@@twlahue 🫡🤜🏼🤛🏼😎💜