Reacting to my OLD RESTRICTIVE TikToks | ED Recovery | Getting Angry at Myself for 15 min LOL
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- Опубліковано 19 бер 2022
- Lets take it back to my early "recovery" content, if we can even call it that ...
I've been posting what I eat in a day on TikTok nearly every day since August 2021, when I chose to recover from my eating disorder - anorexia. In these early days I was still CLEARLY restricting my intake, and was not properly committed to ED recovery. It disgusts and shames me that I ever even posted this where it could come up on someone's fyp.
I have come such a long way from here, and looking back really put into perspective how much I actually have progressed. However, posting content like this labelled as "RECOVERY" is SO SO SO HARMFUL AND DAMAGING!
This is NOT recovery. Well, not true recovery. I may have wanted to change and get better but I certainly wasn't dedicated enough to the process to be making this type of content.
If you see this kind of video on your fyp or on your insta and it makes you feel bad, or triggers you, remember that the person posting it likely isn't actually recovering at all. If you are eating more than I did here, you are doing EVERYTHING RIGHT BABY.
I'm so sorry for anyone who may have been potentially negatively impacted by my old videos, and I have since removed them. I hope that the content I create now is actually encouraging and inspiring, as I wish it to be.
Please note that the content in this video may be triggering for some audiences as it clearly pictures not enough food. None of the videos show what I ate when my ED was "active", only after I had chosen to get better, but it is still not enough food and therefore viewer discretion is advised.
Insta - @MillyRecovers
TikTok WIEIADs - @MillyRecovers
TikTok Recovery Advice - @MillyRecovers2
Love always,
Milly
xxx
-------------- ED RECOVERY RESOURCES --------------
- BEAT National Eating Disorder charity - www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/
- NHS self-help guides - web.ntw.nhs.uk/selfhelp/
- Disordered eating self-help worksheets - www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Reso...
UA-camRS:
Tabitha Farrar: / tabithafarrar
Hat DID Beat this: / @hatdidbeatthis7379
Abbey Sharp: / abbeysharpabbeyskitchen
Linda Sun: / @lindasunyt
Ro Recovery: / romitchell
INSTAGRAMMERS:
Surina: @gainswithsurina3768
Millie: @MillieisRecovering
Healing Ki: @healing.ki
Elena: @elena.recovering
Han: @hannahfightsthis
Imee: @im_powering
TIKTOKERS:
Lila: @fullyrecovering
Sena: @senarecovering7
Cressie: @recoverwithcressie
Bobby: @bobbykazz
@_youve_got_this_
GUIDES/SELF-HELP RESOURCES:
Tabitha Farrar's book - Rehabilitate, Rewire, Recover!
CCI Self-Help Guides - www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Reso...
When you say there's a lot of deception in these videos, and feeling ashamed - be gentle with old you! We can look back on things we've done and regret them, wish we'd behaved differently, but don't let yourself feel ashamed about things when eating disorders are so hard to overcome. Having gone through recovery in 2016-2019, I've had a lot of time to reflect on how I was then, and truly, being gentle with myself has made such a positive impact.
i’m so proud of you for going through recovery! i am a lot more gentle to myself in day to day life 🥰♥️
THANK U THIS IS SO HELPFUL
i see tiktok’s like this a lot so often feel like my meal plan is higher than every one else’s. it’s so comforting to be reassured that this isn’t enough food.
i’m really glad you resonated with the reason i made this video 🥰♥️ i promise you that your meal plan won’t be higher than anyone else’s, and that these videos you see are people who are either (a) not following their meal plan or (b) “recovering” at home and simply still restricting and not recovering at all! i never hsd a meal plan, but agreed calorie targets with my team - and i can tell you now that before i switched to intuitive eating a few weeks ago, i was eating about 4-6x the amount i did in the first few tiktoks shown here. You are doing everything right to follow your meal plan and eat that way, i promise you. You are on a path to recovery and it is hard and bumpy but you have got this so long as you are committed and dedicated to the process ♥️ i’m always here if you need! all my love xx
@@millyisliving thank you so much, this is genuinely so comforting to hear & it means so much :)
what helped me a lot was to seriously unfollow ANYTHING that i found myself comparing to. also click the "not interested" on youtube videos which might be triggering to you. now my timeline is filled with stuff that actually interest me and won't trigger me everytime i open the app. i know that a lot of us love to purposely trigger ourselves to "dO BetTEr" but recovery = living a normal, fulfilling life. and there IS life after recovery. take care!
THANK YOU SO MUCH OMG i hate it so much when people eat half a rice cake and say like “i was full” because there is no point in posting it and labelling it as “recovery”
omg me too or the “3 cherry tomatoes” like exactly 3 🧐 miss girl, recovered people don’t count their tomatoes out
This is amazing that your calling your self out on toxic ed recovery. I'm proud of you!
thank you so much!! ♥️
In the first stage of my recovery I was dealing with bad extreme hunger. I would feel my stomach growl and ache every hour despite eating thousands of calories, and it just felt like it never ended.
I stopped watching ED content (including recovery) in that stage except for one or two people who are really informational, which I think helped me focus on myself and my own journey rather then comparing myself.
Eventually the extreme hunger ended unsurprisingly, and I’m immensely happy and I’m doing fantastic in the mental department as well. So if anyone reads this and has extreme hunger and feels bad… don’t worry, it’s not permanent. The more you honor your hunger, the quicker it will go away.
That being said…
The recovery community has a toxic side where people are clearing still restricting and might be SLIGHTLY eating more, and that’s fine… not everyone is ready to 100% recover… but claiming to be in full recovery while showing people a low intake is incredibly triggering.
If I hadn’t educated myself on what’s normal and what isn’t in recovery (aka extreme hunger, what a regular intake looks like, etc.) then I would’ve probably relapsed at some point after seeing those types of deceptive videos.
Clarifying though.. I’m not saying you were intentionally doing this, in fact I’m just talking about the community as a whole since this video talks about. I’m glad you were able to look back and realize what was wrong with those videos, there are a lot of other people who are in denial about their ED habits when they’re in recovery and it can trick many vulnerable people who watch. Better to learn and live on vs never make any mistakes. I made a lot of mistakes in my own recovery, I’ll admit.. including attempting to maintain my low weight my reverse dieting (didn’t work ofc lol) and maintain orthorexic habits.
I just feel bad for both the people who are still restricting under the guise of recovery, and those who watch those videos and feel bad for eating more.
THANK YOU! this comment has summed up the message i wanted my video to show so clearly !! ♥️ it’s so triggering to claim to be all in recovery if you aren’t truly honouring all hunger and still engaging in restrictive behaviours!! and everything you said about extreme hunger is so true !! when you honour it, it goes away, and allows you one step closer to food freedom 🥰♥️ i also feel terrible for those who have not yet realised this is not helpful (and those who still try and maintain a low weight) - i hope one day the people i had in mind when i made this video can realise and achieve full recovery becahse it most certainly is possible 🥰 i hope you are doing well!! all my love ♥️
Don't be hard on yourself, it was better that you were still eating small amounts in the first few days (obviously not beyond that) because of the risk of refeeding syndrome! Because you did then go on to adopt a healthier and better eating plan. I'm glad you can look back and realise it wasn't enough food long term and to be sustainable for health. I know with EDs we can be super critical of ourselves but look how far you've come to be able to make this video ❤️
oh for sure - but i certainly dragged it out wayyyy beyond the risk of refeeding 😭 thank you so much!! it’s always nice to look back and actually recognise the progress - like you said, we can be so self critical sometimes. thank you for watching my rambles ♥️
It’s brilliant to see such an improvement within you since then.
It’s difficult not to feel guilty about having promoted disordered behaviours in the past whilst believing they’re pro-recovery. I’ve done this myself, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of performative recovery because we don’t have the perspective on what’s enough food/exercise.
Also, if we’ve been disordered for a long period of time then we don’t know which thoughts and behavioural patterns are healthy. Any positive change might be considered beneficial, but if it’s still giving into anorexia to any degree then it’s unfortunately promoting a negative message towards an audience.
I’m so glad you’ve posted this video because it’s essential to gain insight into the past in order to inform other people and help ourselves understand our progress within recovery.
All the best :)
Thank you so much for this comment! 🥰 it can be so hard to hold ourselves accountable for not falling into performative or “quasi” recovery! a really helpful insight, and i’m glad i spent the time to reflect on my progress ♥️ all my love xx
Hi, I agree with that over time as you decrease the amount of cal you eat, your stomach “shrinks”. I experience that and it’s upsetting bc I WANT to eat another bite, but I’m stuffed. Do you have any advice on that? And let me say you’re so different from other recovery channels, you’ve helped me realize how restrictive this community is, and they hide it under being “all-in”.
thank you so much! i’m so glad my videos have been helpful 🥰♥️ i definitely had this experience earlier in my recovery!! i found it easier to eat small and often!! or, i would just have a meal in small bites spread throughout the day - so long as you are still eating enough overall !
that’s literally not physically possible, the stomach doesnt shrink from not eating literally look it up lol
@@kasc2213 The stomach can be stretched and shrunk actually, and early satiety is a common problem in early anorexia recovery for a variety of reasons: anorexianervosaeffects.weebly.com/digestive-system.html
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4381361/
hey please don't be too angry at yourself :( i remember being like this in early recovery. please please don't blame yourself or put negative thoughts onto yourself (i think we both know self hatred and body insecurity is the perfect recipe for ed)..
thank you for your comment ♥️ i promise that day to day i am kind to myself, this was just for the vid 🥰
i love this, and you, seeing your growth since then, is just, wow, im so insanely proud of you❤️ but at the same time, try your best not to feel so bad about what happened in the past, it still got u to where u are today💛
wow thank you so much for this comment ♥️♥️ and you are right, i try not to be unkind to myself - recovery is such a journey - but still hold myself accountable to my actions! all my love and thank you so so much for the support xxx
You are amazing!!! Just recognizing the lack of food and problems with this is epic! You’ve come so far… and I applaud you!
thank you so much!! i hope my reflections can help others who might be in a similar position♥️
Being able to reflect on your past is tremendously important!
oh for sure !!! it helps us to learn and grow 🤩🐣
this was a very helpful video and ur ability to reflect on ur past behaviour was super inspirational, it really shows u've come a long way since the time those tiktoks were made !
thank you so much! i’m so pleased you found it helpful ♥️ all my love xx
The problem is…. we are normalizing the idea that we have to be “real/honest” so we use that as an *excuse* to share incredibly damaging personal things without full context. It’s ok to share and be open and honest, but it needs to be done incredibly carefully with cautions for younger impressionable viewers. It needs to be done in an *educational* way…..Anyway. I don’t know you but I adore you for doing this video. Your commentary while viewing your old tiktok shows a huge contrast/ its a reality check. I’m still struggling myself, and I truly appreciate this video.
i absolutely agree with everything you said here! it’s ok to share your personal journey but do so with (as you said) caution! ask yourself, who is going to benefit from this post and what will they be able to take away from it? i always ask myself - is this something that would have helped me when i first started recovering? if not, i won’t post ♥️ thank you so much, im glad my comments helped - recovery is tough, but it’s possible, and things will get better as long as you’re dedicated to it 🥰
@@millyisliving 💖💐💖💐💖💐 thank you so much for being around! And having this channel.
Hey kween- I am so proud of you! As someone also in recovery I can relate to your commentary on what you used to post! Just wanted to remind you that even in recovery our EDs can make us so critical and that it's ok to not feel great about what our pas selves have done. Don't forget to hold space for pride in your growth! You deserve it! All Love
Don’t be too hard on yourself, I appreciate this video so much, self reflection and improvement is amazing and so rare nowadays! For me, I’m not really in recovery so I would never post what I eat in a day for that reason
i absolutely love this. keep fighting the good fight. so proud of you
thank you so so much!!
This is actually eye opening to see because what your saying is not enough later in your recovery is what my mom wants me to eat (I struggle with b.e.d)
This video was a hard pill for me to swallow, which probably means it was the one I needed to suck up and take. Thank you, this video was so real and the way you recognise you were sick and you were trying but still know you needed to push harder to make progress in recovery thank you
im so proud of how far youve come, thank you for this video
Congratulations on your recovery. For someone who has never been around this behaviour/disorder... it is very eye opening. Maybe I do know people and just dont know. Sending peace and love ❤
thank you so so much ♥️♥️
this video was recommend to me and i am glad i clicked on it:) thank u for this and you are doing great!! keep going xx
thank you so so much ♥️🥰
I am incredibly proud of you! You have grown very much and I think that you shouldn't be too angry at your past self, maybe try to appreciate your growth more. I wish you all the best, this video truly made me feel better because I have hope to get a better relationship with food too! ❤
thank you so much for this absolutely lovely comment 🥰♥️ it’s so nice to see how much i’ve grown and flourished throughout recovery - and i believe this is absolutely possible for everyone! i’m wishing you all the best on your journey to food freedom ♥️
@@millyisliving thank you incredibly much ❤
Hi milly I’ve recently started recovery and I love love love your videos on UA-cam it’s helped me so much watching what you’ve learned through out recovery it’s truly inspirational and so are you I hope you don’t take this in any way other than that you deserve kindness and love even in the beginning in your recovery.. I watched your reaction videos and knowing how difficult it is to find some self mercy with ed especially it breaks my heart when the commentary you have for your past self is so critical because when I watch what you see when you watch your past video is pure strength and true recovery. You have come so far and aspire me to keep going and challenge myself I just truly feel genuine empathy towards your past and current self because you’ve accomplished so much growth and even have inspired me to try harder and you deserve praise from day one even on bad days or on the days you feel you didn’t eat enough food or not trying hard enough and talk down on yourself. You have come so far and without those days of baby steps you wouldn’t be able to appreciate your incredible process I just want to you to know I personally find every step of your recovery as strength every step of the way. I hope you hear me out and not misinterpret my intentions I really do appreciate your help your content you are an incredible person and I hope you are doing well happy and healthier every single day because you deserve it❤️🩹
you have come a very long way love. you are one of the people who motivates me to recover. you are such a genuinely lovely girl and you are so down to earth
oh my !! this is such a lovely comment! i’m so glad i can be motivating - you have all my support with your journey ♥️
@@millyisliving thank you so much love ❤️
I got a recovery meal plan and I watched this because I was stressing about it
Thanks for existing
Oh wow. I love how far you’ve come!
Thank you for not normalizing 1200 calorie starvation diets that every influencer and even people I know seem to be pushing
it’s awful - truly not enough food !!!
I understand where you’re coming from in being upset with yourself. I’d like to gently encourage you to be nicer to yourself. The reason for this is 2 things in my (unsolicited) opinion, 1. you are worthy of grace. And 2. Others who are struggling with an ED (myself) will hear your harshness and criticism against yourself and take it as their own. Like when you said no one cares when you cried... what if someone is crying watching this? :( There is a gentle middle ground that I hope you will consider. One that sets a better example for young girls to never be mean to themselves. I’m so proud of you for your awesome progress and discipline. :) Blessings ♥️
I felt this when she said, "if you're not pushing yourself, why are you sharing that content?". I felt ashamed lmao
oh no! so sorry to hear that - dw, it’s absolutely ok to struggle in recovery! i still do! i just don’t think it’s appropriate to post content under the guise of a “recovery influencer” if you are barely managing the bare minimum/still under eating xx recovery is so damn hard, but i know you can do this!!
You are so lovely!!! I haven’t struggled with this ED but I thought it was a really good video!!
thank you so much !!! ♥️
i’m so damn proud of you !!! this was rlly helpful to watch & it rlly shows how much progress you’ve made & the mindset you have now
thank you girly 🥰♥️ you know how much i adore you and am proud of your progress too! you keep me so motivated to keep moving forward and i’m glad you enjoyed the vid xxx
Thank you so much for this, I totally agree with you about many recovery accounts promoting “recovery” in such an harmful way…I won’t be calling anyone out but there is someone, eats protein bars and still being so underweight in nearly 6months getting …back …but saddest part is people support that person in their illness. Thank you for being you and your journey x
it can be tough! recovery certainly isn’t easy at all, and everyone is on their own paths, but i agree think it is harmful to run a “recovery”
account if you are realllllyyyy struggling still, hope that makes sense ♥️ thank you!
it's very nice to see that you've grown but i actually think those type of videos could be useful as long as you clearly state that this isn't actual all in recovery! i think they can help people who are very early on as seeing people actually recovering and going through extreme hunger etc can be overwhelming if you're just starting
thank you for your insight! i hadn’t considered that 🥰♥️
It's really worth it when you're free from ed. I hope I will be completely free💗
it will definitely all be worth it! you got this ♥️
As a teen with light ed and an eating disorder I can confirm the hot chocolate fear is real. I haven't had one in a year since I developed my eating disorder and restrictions because it was too "calorific"
I feel you on the “all-in” part! I actually decided to go all-in and was eating normal amounts of food again. But then I saw these vids on tiktok of people going “all-in”, or even just people captioning their videos saying “I feel so guilty bc I ate so much” or “this was so much food” and they were eating WAY less than me and it made me feel soooo invalid. It’s incredibly harmful to call normal or even small amounts of food “too much” or “going all-in”. Even though I fully recognize that it feels like a lot for the creator!!! I just don’t think they should POST it.
Be more gentle with yourself. You've come so far since then (:
thank you ♥️
i couldn't do intuitive eating. i couldn't do all in. i had to ease myself into it, and basically give myself a gradually increasing rigid meal plan lmao. my cues were so messed up that if i ate intuitively i would have been eating... like almost as little has i had been.
oh for sure!! it took me 7 months of slowly increasing my food within calorie guidelines set by my team to feel ready to move across to more intuitive eating!! this is absolutely why i don’t advise people in early recovery (or if they’re struggling with a lack of appetite) to try and eat intuitively - but sticking with 3 meals and 3+ snacks! i’m wishing you all the best - i’m hoping you are doing well ♥️🥰
Thank you queen
all my love ♥️
Thank you this is soooooo helpful like reallyyyyyy
i’m really glad you found this helpful! all my love ♥️♥️
I also thought that I was eating to recover a time ago but it was not like that and I knew it, then i went admitted to the hospital, from then on I have been in real recovery for 7 months and although it is being complicated I am achieving it
i’m really pleased to hear you have been able to commit to recovery ♥️ it really is such a rollercoaster, but with time and dedication we will get there 🥰
wow I love seeing that you have grown to realize how harmful videos like those actually are. I am so proud of you!!
thank you so so much ♥️
Im currently in recover and it sucks. Every time I watch an “wieiad ed recovery edition” I feel bad cause I know im not eating as much as im supposed to do you have any tips on how to recover? Also your so pretty and I love your accent sm:)
When I hear this it sounds like I'm still restricting even though I gained weight. Honestly I don't think it's something you do consciously, ofcourse it's not okay but I think it has been so normal to us , me, that you don't even know that you're doing that. So I guess thanks for the heads up 😁
I've been trying to challenge fear foods lately I even cooked with oil and used it my meals for dressing etc for 2 days I'm scared but I hope i can get there
amazing! i’m so so proud, oil adds so much flavour and is packed with much needed nutrients for our brain! 🥰
Come on it was the begining and everything you shared helped you, you should not blame you for that. We all start small please be kind with the one you used to be because it's thanks to the little steps that you did each day that you are where you are today and you should just be so proud of you !
But I have to say that the fact to show that this kind of video should not be an example for people in recovery is very interesting and doesn't help at all (I experienced it and don't recommand) so I totally agree the concept of the video and thank you for that (it helped me who has almost fully recovered so I think it can have a huge impact on people in recovery). But the goal is not to make people feel ashamed of not being able to eat as much as you do and to struggle.
I think you're being too hard on yourself in this video. Recovery isn't meant to be a tv show, it's traumatic and it can be the most difficult experience in your life and you shared your own experience. For someone without any ed I can see in your original Tiktok videos you're really trying to make a recovery, but I can tell in your reaction you feel guilty because you don't want to mislead anyone into thinking it's normal. But it's actually normal in fact to not go straight to a "normal" diet and instead struggle a lot, because the behaviour has been rooted in you for so long so it's difficult to recover from it. Keep it up, you're doing a great job :)
thank you so much!! i think on some days i could have tried harder, but it’s the past, and it’s got me to where i am today and i’m doing. a lot better these days 🥰♥️ i just don’t like that content like this is shared across tiktok so readily as it doesn’t depict the realities of how much you do need to eat to recover 🥰
@@millyisliving They're likely doing that because they still suffer from an eating disorder so they would rather eat less than more. The algorithm probably promotes people who eat little as well because that's want people with eating disorders secretly want
Are you a vegetarian? If you are, that’s awesome. I became a vegetarian around when when I starved myself in highschool. I think I was stunned at all the cruelty and could understand that how people could eat such amazing creatures and uncomfortable with the changes puberty did on my body. Interestingly, learning about the animals, cooking and vegan nutrition, I became a passionate vegan who loved eating again and felt like I was educated and doing something good. Anyway if you’re thinking about going vegan, watch dominion, Gary yourofsky, Joey carbstrong are some of my faves. There’s plenty of resources out there for planning sufficient vegan diets. I now aim for 2400+ calories a day and don’t really count them anymore. I’m at a healthy weight but don’t care so much about that, I just wanna save the animals and not be obsessed with a number in the scale
thanks for the comment! i am veggie! i actually was vegan but changed to veggie to allow myself to heal my relationship with food properly, as i was using veganism to restrict. my boyfriend is still vegan and one day i’d like to be as well, just not the right time 🥰 i do eat mostly plant based just anyway because of my boyfriend !
@@millyisliving that’s awesome. I hope you can too
I hate myself for this Ed
try to be kind to yourself, i know it’s hard, but when the ed is strong it can be difficult to see a way out of it, i promise there is life after an ed
Try to look back with compassion you were facing your fears daily and though you weren't truly all in you were facing challenges without pushing too hard and it's natural to want comfort and validation after facing your fears, you chose tiktok and though it might not being helpful to others it was what you felt you needed.
i know this is serious but it made me laugh the way she was insulting herself so bad 😭
plsssss i promise i’m nice to myself outside of this video 🥲
@@millyisliving 💞💞!!
ngl i had you blocked during this period 😀
i don’t blame you …
Did you used to smoke weed while on anorexia?
hahaha i don’t smoke it 👀😅
Where r u from?
england :)
I actually disagree that “it’s unhelpful to post because it gives an unrealistic impression of what Ed recovery looks like.” Because it actually was her real and authentic journey! It shows that you don’t go from a full blown disorder to eating the perfect diet containing the perfect calorie count in a single day-in the end it’s a slow and steady process. And in that first week she may not have been perfect, but giving it your all is all anyone can really ask for 🔥
Not trying to be mean, but why are you afraid of hot chocolate? Is it because you are afraid to burn your tongue, or if you spill it you might burn your skin?
hi there! i have an eating disorder called anorexia. i won’t give the exact reason hot chocolate scares me as it is a very competitive illness and i don’t want to cause someone else to become fearful too, but it’s more about worrying what it might do to my body. hope this helps explain it!
First of all I don’t have any history with ED myself but I do watch a lot of recovery content. Obviously guilt is a large component of most eating disorders and I think sometimes that can stick around and weaponize parts of your recovery if you’re not actively unpacking the way you view and talk to yourself. You’re a zoomer who likely grew up on social media and I think a lot of us, whether we have ED or not, come to a point in our adult lives where we have to confront the fact that we’ve been performing our lives. It’s part of the culture now to make a habit of doing that long before you have the critical thinking faculties to process what that means. It gets tricky especially when you do have a perspective that could advance a cause you care about if shared, because then complete abstinence is not an option and instead it requires active engagement which is a perpetual tightrope walk. Basically what I’m saying is that as an outside viewer, what I’m witnessing in this video looks like at least 2-3 different forms of cognitive dissonance that happen to be coinciding in your life. Maybe try not to be so hard on yourself because wrestling with some of these questions is just a defining feature of your generation and though your regrets can guide you to more constructive approaches, simply having regrets in the first place isn’t always indicative of a moral wrongdoing. I appreciate that you take your responsibility seriously and you will have more emotional energy to make good on that if you can draw a boundary between your accomplishments and your self concept.
thank you for this comment! i’m actually not a zoomer though, im in my twenties and work as a full time therapist 🥰 this is not how i talk to myself day to day, i nurture my inner child - this was simply for the video and to get my point across with more clarity! take care ♥️
@@millyisliving sorry lol as someone who is also presumed to be 16 all the time i should have looked into it first. i’m glad to hear it though!
You scold yourself like a parent getting mad at their child lol. I hope you're not too harsh on yourself though, EDs are very dark and impair your judgement, and it was probably easy to feel like the content you were making was healthy/okay when its so prevalent, particularly on tik tok. I think anyone with an ED recovery account can prevent a lot of harm through your retrospective questioning of 'is this helpful to post?' A lot of people post content surrounding their eating disorder without considering this, particularly if you are labelling your content as recovery content you NEED to ask yourself this frequently. For example a lot of people post before and after photos of their restrictive ED, when really nobody needs to see what they looked like at their lowest weight. Furthermore, nobody needs to know WHAT their lowest weight was, and they don't need to know what they ate in a day to get to that weight, how many calories, tips and tricks etc. These things will actually cause harm to other people with eating disorders, or even cause some to develop them. I definitely agree with you that it was not helpful to post videos of you eating small amounts of food, particularly filming yourself crying over eating those small amounts, and creating the illusion that it was the normative recovery experience. As you said, it was too restrictive and you were not challenging yourself enough, which if that was the case should not have been filmed for other people to see. I have seen a lot of posts online from people who are doing all in recovery or dealing with extreme hunger in recovery who see people who post content like this, and feel like they are not recovering in the 'right' way, particularly when recovery channels film and post themselves crying over eating food, or shaking, or panicking is something I have seen many people express concerns about. It makes them feel like they are not sick enough because that is not their experience. Anyways I am very glad to see such a severe turnaround in you, I think this video is extremely extremely helpful for people to see and I really appreciate your honesty and ability to reflect. Take care x
thank you so much for this absolutely insightful comment !! absolutely asking “is this helpful to post?” i actually have a list of questions i ask myself now before i post anything, to try and make sure my content is supportive rather than at all triggering (don’t get me started on those before and after photos..) ♥️ there is SUCH a competitive element to the disorder, and it can be tempting to share your worst moments to try and seek validation - but it doesn’t help anyone! like you said, it can make other people in recovery not feel valid and lead to the “im not sick enough” fallacy! i’m glad you found this video helpful - i’m so pleased people are seeing the message i wanted to put across!! all my love ♥️