How To Be A Hockey Player

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  • Опубліковано 16 гру 2013
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    DIRECTED BY IFHT
    WRITTEN BY
    IFHT
    DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY
    Matt Dennison
    EDITING, NARRATION, SOUND & COLOUR CORRECTION
    Matt Dennison
    RECORDED ON RODE MICROPHONES
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    ----
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  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,1 тис.

  • @Dennis_S1000RR
    @Dennis_S1000RR 5 років тому +588

    0:32
    you might have forgotten "The one, shooting so high, that everyone is afraid to screen the goalie"

    • @gavinthegamer4934
      @gavinthegamer4934 5 років тому +19

      I love this fucking comment so much. Every team has that one asshole

    • @Dennis_S1000RR
      @Dennis_S1000RR 5 років тому +7

      @@gavinthegamer4934 in my Team it was me😂

    • @chiaraaqmarina.d1078
      @chiaraaqmarina.d1078 4 роки тому +2

      In my team MOST of the forward players shoot high, VERY high. And I hate screening the goalie,. I'm slowly plotting their demise ...

    • @cosmiceggs2385
      @cosmiceggs2385 4 роки тому

      Shooting high in front of the players or in general?

    • @beans6232
      @beans6232 4 роки тому +2

      Dennis Spengler as a goalie this is equally not fun

  • @chazzcrowchild6726
    @chazzcrowchild6726 8 років тому +2109

    I've been playing hockey all my life and this video is the dead truth

    • @SamGautreau7
      @SamGautreau7 8 років тому +8

      true

    • @jmlacrosse9797
      @jmlacrosse9797 8 років тому +1

      even apple

    • @icutey685
      @icutey685 8 років тому +2

      +JM Lacrosse what is apple i have played hockey my entire life and i have NO idea

    • @DeeRakGaming
      @DeeRakGaming 8 років тому +3

      +I Cutey assist

    • @icutey685
      @icutey685 8 років тому +2

      Awwww thx D_james04​

  • @jonasoesterle2639
    @jonasoesterle2639 5 років тому +304

    “Google me, three games Junior B”😂😂

  • @KarMa-lx6oq
    @KarMa-lx6oq 6 років тому +339

    "I've heard better chirps from a dead bird." *i am dead.*

  • @stevenniebow9404
    @stevenniebow9404 8 років тому +1546

    You forgot the guy who never comes off the ice with his line.

    • @youtubeonmyphone537
      @youtubeonmyphone537 8 років тому +85

      Fucking hate that guy or the defence man that think he is bobby Orr and always rushes and never passes

    • @Bugattilover39
      @Bugattilover39 7 років тому +2

      So true

    • @jubby1551
      @jubby1551 7 років тому +4

      THATS MEEE! I'm just great

    • @kakanalexgamer231
      @kakanalexgamer231 7 років тому +2

      Thats me

    • @edboy484
      @edboy484 7 років тому +3

      And the guy who comes of the ice way before the rest of his line

  • @PavelBarber
    @PavelBarber 10 років тому +1241

    hahahah
    "Good game. Good game. Good game. Fuck you. Good game. "
    Been there!

  • @OneTeeGlory
    @OneTeeGlory 4 роки тому +420

    Always get the French guy as mad as possible. Yes, even if he’s on your team.

    • @GF-wi6qi
      @GF-wi6qi 3 роки тому +4

      Lmfao 😂

    • @vinny9196
      @vinny9196 3 роки тому

      @@GF-wi6qi year late bud

    • @jack41396
      @jack41396 3 роки тому +5

      Omg stop to say that we are French, it’s like if we compare you to Americans

    • @OneTeeGlory
      @OneTeeGlory 3 роки тому +2

      @@jack41396 That doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. It’s not comparing someone to anything to point out they speak French. That’s just factual information lol

    • @chl_ca
      @chl_ca 2 роки тому

      you mean from Quebec?

  • @PrashantKhanolkarUSA
    @PrashantKhanolkarUSA 4 роки тому +61

    3:08 r.i.p. Kobe

  • @svenondabeat1133
    @svenondabeat1133 10 років тому +297

    Instructions not clear, I became canadian

    • @max-lx5gq
      @max-lx5gq 6 років тому +10

      Oxymorphone after playing hockey for a year I was full Canadian *eh*

    • @somkeshav4143
      @somkeshav4143 5 років тому +1

      what's this aboot?

    • @PhanicSound
      @PhanicSound 5 років тому

      I Am Canadian

    • @aloneboarder
      @aloneboarder 5 років тому

      That's a good one

  • @jarrodfromohio
    @jarrodfromohio 9 років тому +746

    call everyone "boys"

    • @TurfDoe
      @TurfDoe 6 років тому +12

      Cause hockey is #fortheboys

    • @aidendion796
      @aidendion796 6 років тому +1

      Jarrod Persinger You mean boyz 😂😂😂😂🏒🥅

    • @sagej8069
      @sagej8069 6 років тому +19

      even my all girls team calls each other boys... so

    • @minimariit6243
      @minimariit6243 5 років тому +5

      Yeah dude I’m a girl and when other girls go hey THERES A GIRL HERE NOT JUST BOYS I back up like eyy the boys out number us let him just say boys

    • @sylviataratuta321
      @sylviataratuta321 5 років тому +7

      “alrighty boys..... and girl.....”

  • @CottageCheese77
    @CottageCheese77 4 роки тому +129

    “Learn how to stop”
    Proceeds to turn

  • @smokeyyy3731
    @smokeyyy3731 5 років тому +36

    0:56 omg that made me laugh so hard it’s just the way he said it 😂😂

  • @coleblight7723
    @coleblight7723 10 років тому +134

    Had so much fun shooting this. Thanks IFHT for letting me help! You guys did an amazing job!

    • @ifhtfilms
      @ifhtfilms  10 років тому +2

      Thanks Cole! You were born an ever-so-bright shining star

    • @andrewb6832
      @andrewb6832 8 років тому +1

      +IFHT great vid. but that comment to your friend, i hope is funny locker room shit. akward or cole is ill and im an idiot. keep your stick on the ice.

    • @beefbrother6641
      @beefbrother6641 8 років тому

      +Andrew B my nhl won't save how do I fix this

    • @andrewb6832
      @andrewb6832 8 років тому +3

      +Beefbrother if they dont find you handsome, should find you handy.

  • @Zachhhx
    @Zachhhx 9 років тому +401

    Celly by drinking out of the goalie's bottle when you score on him.

    • @thelossbloodlock
      @thelossbloodlock 9 років тому +54

      Celly drinking out of the goalie's bottle by having your nose broken by a blocker.

    • @Zachhhx
      @Zachhhx 9 років тому +42

      Worth it

    • @Ryan-jt2sp
      @Ryan-jt2sp 9 років тому +9

      Lol then get a unsportsmanlike like Brendan Leipsic

    • @revolutionwheels7105
      @revolutionwheels7105 9 років тому +21

      You forgot the most key part.
      Celly by drinking out of the goalie's bottle when you score on him and spitting it in his face. Always leads to a good time had BY ALL.

    • @EMPtaticz
      @EMPtaticz 9 років тому +1

      Zachhhx very worth it man

  • @MrSottobanco
    @MrSottobanco 8 років тому +199

    The greatest form of therapy is to take out your frustrations on the refs.

  • @wheelspinproductions9214
    @wheelspinproductions9214 4 роки тому +16

    0:02 That text box though

    • @toppdogtv
      @toppdogtv 2 роки тому

      I KNEW I WASNT THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW IT AHAAH

  • @DeeAy09
    @DeeAy09 10 років тому +68

    "fuckin google me" dead

  • @sjag1938
    @sjag1938 9 років тому +219

    Step #31 Dont forget the goalies. Yeah there weird but hey, there goaloes.

  • @awood1604
    @awood1604 5 років тому +25

    "Get off your knees, you're blowing the game" That's funny!

  • @toewsheggedal5788
    @toewsheggedal5788 4 роки тому +25

    “AlL CoMe On ReF yOu SPiLeD mY BeEr”

  • @ifhtfilms
    @ifhtfilms  10 років тому +108

    Hey guys! Check out our latest video "How To Be A Hockey Player"!!

    • @kyle9607
      @kyle9607 10 років тому +68

      The ending killed me, "F*** You" lmao.....thanks for that man....that was a Beaut of a Vid haha

    • @uncensorer
      @uncensorer 10 років тому

      ***** Every single game's handshake: "Good game. Good game. Good game. Good game. Fuck you. Good game. Good game. Lucky ass. Good game. Douche. Good game."

    • @chinzon
      @chinzon 9 років тому

      *****

    • @Jarrettthegoalie
      @Jarrettthegoalie 9 років тому +3

      I'm the goalie that chirps a guy chirps me I chirp his chirp

    • @l.burgess6560
      @l.burgess6560 8 років тому

      +JarrettTheGoalie chirpception

  • @29anonymouse
    @29anonymouse 10 років тому +32

    use hockey talk at the dinner table, such as "hey mom sauce me the peas you fucking beaut"

  • @2wenty7even95
    @2wenty7even95 6 років тому +458

    Ive seen coupons save more than you, ive seen a dead bird chirp better😂😂😂

    • @claytonw0518
      @claytonw0518 6 років тому +5

      Revo Kuivjõgi wow you can’t spell either talk the talk but can’t walk the walk

    • @koozy613
      @koozy613 5 років тому

      Sarah Ray Everytime I score, WHERE DID TGE PUCK GO?!!! Ppl get pissed at me

    • @koozy613
      @koozy613 5 років тому

      shrek wazowski I’ve heard better roast from a dead bird

    • @ArtursJ
      @ArtursJ 5 років тому +4

      @@koozy613 yeah lets just completely ruin the original chirp by replacing a word and making the chirp not make any sense.

    • @nikkeisimmer8795
      @nikkeisimmer8795 5 років тому

      @@koozy613 You mean you've gotten better roasts out of a road-killed cow.

  • @nurgalizhalel3003
    @nurgalizhalel3003 4 роки тому +16

    2:24 - Welcome to the club, buddy!

  • @personM4N
    @personM4N 9 років тому +249

    Don't be the guy at drop-in with a full on replica NHL jersey.

  • @MrFlamesFan12
    @MrFlamesFan12 10 років тому +100

    Now this video is a beaut!

  • @lukaskrtek5212
    @lukaskrtek5212 5 років тому +27

    2:17 Jaromír Jágr and Czech flag

  • @femaledasher9060
    @femaledasher9060 6 років тому +62

    The thing about the tape is true. I am always the only person with tape.

    • @thatautistichockeygirl303
      @thatautistichockeygirl303 Рік тому

      I know right! I literally have an extra roll with a bunch of little tiny peices on it. I’m an asshole lol

  • @g.lallen1443
    @g.lallen1443 9 років тому +44

    "I've heard better chirps from a dead bird" lmao😂

  • @Pokemonjewel123
    @Pokemonjewel123 9 років тому +80

    Can you make how to be a hockey player #2? You guys do a great job and I love hockey. I would love to see another one

    • @kayvalencourt
      @kayvalencourt 4 роки тому +2

      How to be a hockey player part 2:
      Fight everybody like there's no tomarrow.

  • @paula-tg2wm
    @paula-tg2wm 8 років тому +17

    one time I was playing hockey when I was like 6 and I just gave up in the middle of the game I sat down on the ice and didn't get up until the game was over.

  • @emmiecressman9488
    @emmiecressman9488 8 років тому +10

    "I've heard better chirps from a dead bird" is my new favourite chirp

  • @catiemickey7027
    @catiemickey7027 9 років тому +110

    You missed "don't be a bender"

  • @bertholdthoover6758
    @bertholdthoover6758 9 років тому +17

    "The soccer player" OMG I'm dying. I have played soccer for 10 years, but that was incredibly accurate

  • @jayson7136
    @jayson7136 3 роки тому +2

    I love coming back to this video once a year or so. Also rip Kobe

  • @kingofstuff1732
    @kingofstuff1732 4 роки тому +26

    Step four, you forgot the infamous try hard, the speed demon, and the one who never runs out of energy

    • @tryhardquesadila
      @tryhardquesadila 3 роки тому

      And the bender

    • @jackchadwick645
      @jackchadwick645 2 роки тому

      And the guy who can skate pretty fast but always shoots the puck over the net

  • @TheSportsLot
    @TheSportsLot 9 років тому +619

    Lol. Ive heard better chirps from a dead bird

    • @xxrage_madxxtheboss7419
      @xxrage_madxxtheboss7419 9 років тому +5

      Ur not Cpt. Obvious we all heard it in the video if we Aachen the whole video dumbass

    • @TheSportsLot
      @TheSportsLot 8 років тому +12

      whats up your ass man. Chill. Go to your happy place.

    • @Brody55
      @Brody55 8 років тому

      From my dead bird*

    • @leafeon1198
      @leafeon1198 8 років тому +2

      *birds chirping in the distance*

    • @gabez9541
      @gabez9541 8 років тому +1

      Get REEEEEKKKKKTTTTT

  • @Helvigster
    @Helvigster 8 років тому +56

    LOL, in NHL 2K7, Bob Cole actually pronounces it Alexender Semin's last name Semen.

  • @JD-pe4vg
    @JD-pe4vg 5 років тому +9

    Played hockey all my life. This video is great! Everything is so true especially the last one in the handshake line. Classic

  • @eelilohi2954
    @eelilohi2954 7 років тому +18

    still watching this in 2016

    • @ethen1772
      @ethen1772 5 років тому

      watching this in 2019

  • @ayrtongupta9024
    @ayrtongupta9024 10 років тому +5

    "Hey tendie i've seen more saves on a coupon". "I've heard better chirps from a dead bird" LOL

  • @threethrushes
    @threethrushes 8 років тому +42

    It is a truth universally acknowledged that someone will always - ALWAYS - wear yellow skate laces.

  • @flexWT
    @flexWT 6 років тому +6

    2:52 can't get more true than that hahahaha

  • @autumo_
    @autumo_ 4 роки тому +3

    “Bonus points if you say *Kobe* “
    That hit *hard*

  • @liamschmidt6775
    @liamschmidt6775 9 років тому +16

    fight at every whistle

  • @Jewzilian
    @Jewzilian 10 років тому +37

    Be sure to always call your teammates "boys."

    • @hockeygirl903
      @hockeygirl903 10 років тому +4

      So true! I'm always considered one of the boys!

  • @kayvalencourt
    @kayvalencourt 4 роки тому +12

    "If you can fight, you can play hockey"
    -Somebody who has never seen ice in person but freaking loves hockey (Aka me)

  • @vincentstuchly8021
    @vincentstuchly8021 7 років тому +3

    2:16 Czech republic flag? I am so proud! :DD

  • @maddogmatt44
    @maddogmatt44 10 років тому +6

    this deserves to be one of the highest viewed videos on youtube! i'm in fucking tears! this is so on point!

  • @aleksiheija7941
    @aleksiheija7941 10 років тому +144

    How to be a hockey goalie step 1: Be a Finn

    • @arkansaswookie
      @arkansaswookie 10 років тому +6

      For sure! Tuukka Rask is my favorite Finnish net minder.

    • @arkansaswookie
      @arkansaswookie 10 років тому

      Just read an excellent article about "Urpo Ylonen" an old goaltender from Finland, that has literally changed the face of how goaltending is played.

    • @aleksiheija7941
      @aleksiheija7941 10 років тому +1

      arkansaswookie I've read it. It was a fantastic article.

    • @arkansaswookie
      @arkansaswookie 10 років тому +1

      Ironically, I was mentioning this exact thing to my Finnish wife, a big hockey fan, in November, about all of these current and upcoming goalies from Finland, after I was looking at the prospects from different NHL teams, along with other players from Finland. Impressive. I wish them all well and hope they prosper in the NHL. Cheers to the legendary Teemu Selanne as well. Retiring after this season. I'd like to see him win another cup
      with the Ducks to close out his hall of fame career. Class act that guy.

    • @T00073
      @T00073 9 років тому

      Don't forget Noora Raty, too.

  • @Syr_aviation
    @Syr_aviation 6 років тому +11

    4:10 me when I lose a game

  • @Benshasky
    @Benshasky 4 роки тому +5

    4:29 So relatable LOL

  • @mcknightpatrick14
    @mcknightpatrick14 10 років тому +3

    As a former hockey player I can vouch for all of these. You guys make awesome videos! I found you because of the "How to be a mountain biker" but I've watched most of the older ones! Keep it up!

  • @MixedVideoMedia
    @MixedVideoMedia 9 років тому +3

    Holy shit. I lived in the states, and still do. Went to Canada for a year for 9th grade. I heard all these things like Wheeling. And Beaut and fucking Snipes and what not.

  • @pooch9068
    @pooch9068 4 роки тому +1

    I’ve been “playing” hockey for about a year and a half but I’ve never enrolled in a league, but now I have and my first game is tomorrow. I had to come back to this video

  • @fanrant6837
    @fanrant6837 2 роки тому

    Beauty vid! Just added it to our playlist :)

  • @goreidabook
    @goreidabook 10 років тому +3

    This was AWESOME!

  • @wafflecountry550
    @wafflecountry550 8 років тому +9

    you forgot to say to the ref "I've seen better refs at foot locker" and when somebody's hogging ice "must be nice to skate"

  • @justinbayliff4134
    @justinbayliff4134 8 років тому

    Possibly the greatest video on UA-cam

  • @grimper35
    @grimper35 7 років тому

    IFHT vids are pretty much always great. but this one is my favorite.

  • @colintobias8758
    @colintobias8758 10 років тому +4

    Great video, I think the most fun and final step is to relive the entire game after the game up in the bar and laugh at how slow the players look on the ice in the game after yours. There's no way we're that slow, right?

  • @NikkeCB97
    @NikkeCB97 10 років тому +4

    30 reasons why i love hockey!

  • @modernsolutions4521
    @modernsolutions4521 4 роки тому +2

    The one thing i love about hockey is how all teams are the same on the ice and in the dressing room

  • @max-lx5gq
    @max-lx5gq 6 років тому

    This is my favourite video on youtube

  • @Sens23Bruins
    @Sens23Bruins 10 років тому +9

    Yeah, I played three games Jr. B and had a beauty gino, t-dragged some plug d-man and niped cheddar with my clap bomb, then the fuckin' bush league zebra threw me in the box for cellying to hard.

  • @Kyle-pp3dk
    @Kyle-pp3dk 10 років тому +9

    I think some people missed the tongue-in-cheek joke about pronouncing players' names

  • @TheDeathopper
    @TheDeathopper 4 роки тому +7

    Letterkenny makes so much more sense now

  • @brettcrane9651
    @brettcrane9651 3 роки тому +2

    I've played hockey my entire life , this is all 100% acurate

  • @bardib3459
    @bardib3459 4 роки тому +5

    3:08
    rip kobe

  • @Morl0ck77
    @Morl0ck77 9 років тому +16

    Most important : Be Canadian

    • @valentinacelikovic
      @valentinacelikovic 6 років тому

      Morl0ck77 trueeee

    • @emilbylund9766
      @emilbylund9766 5 років тому +1

      Nooo sweden man world champs 2 Times’ ina row

    • @astrarus
      @astrarus 5 років тому

      Be Russian

    • @vwlsrstpdhi9466
      @vwlsrstpdhi9466 5 років тому

      Андрей Семёнов ever seen Miracle?

    • @kayvalencourt
      @kayvalencourt 4 роки тому

      Exqueez me sir but I'll ya that I am American and I love hockey.

  • @sheparcher
    @sheparcher 7 років тому

    Awesom video keep doing them

  • @gcahbm
    @gcahbm 4 роки тому

    Dude... by now I can follow this video by heart

  • @rhibrown8015
    @rhibrown8015 9 років тому +5

    "Good game... good game... fuck you... good game." Yup, I'm using that

  • @MrSam2497
    @MrSam2497 9 років тому +43

    is it really hard to say pekka rinne as english?

  • @leoncampa
    @leoncampa 3 роки тому

    The handshake part at the end is 100% spot on.

  • @ggastons
    @ggastons 4 роки тому +2

    3:08 RIP Kobe

  • @michaelaron3777
    @michaelaron3777 7 років тому +20

    I fucking swear everything in this video is exactly me

  • @PatonJark
    @PatonJark 10 років тому +5

    You forgot the Chewers. Grinders, dusters. The guy that never passes. And mr sorry

  • @hannahlael3445
    @hannahlael3445 7 років тому

    Hahaha this was spot on!!!! Great job!

  • @chl_ca
    @chl_ca 2 роки тому +1

    this makes me wanna start playing hockey

  • @yuh6094
    @yuh6094 7 років тому +7

    0:02 you forgot to remove the keypoint things with the green dots

    • @paleosabre
      @paleosabre 4 роки тому +1

      Disjointed Salad Jesus Christ man relax, he’s just giving criticism

    • @vazter6945
      @vazter6945 4 роки тому

      Just Another Jurassic Park Fan na fam he deserves it
      (Jk)

  • @robertwilson9870
    @robertwilson9870 10 років тому +5

    Forgot the beer in the penalty box.

  • @petergoesbardownski4041
    @petergoesbardownski4041 4 роки тому

    The sixth anniversary of this how to be a (blank) what a legend this video is

  • @Bananeater
    @Bananeater 2 роки тому

    This is amazing

  • @gas0005007Maria
    @gas0005007Maria 10 років тому +5

    Omg this is soo true XD i love the soccer player

  • @robertbriant5423
    @robertbriant5423 8 років тому +4

    You forgot how hard it is to pronounce Jonathan Toews name 😂😂

  • @beppe671
    @beppe671 7 років тому

    Super fun!!

  • @braydenpalfi4460
    @braydenpalfi4460 8 років тому

    favourite video

  • @jimichunga21
    @jimichunga21 9 років тому +4

    "fuckin google me. 3 games junior b."

  • @GrapeJuiceIII
    @GrapeJuiceIII 7 років тому +5

    Tomorrow is the 3 year anniversary of this video

    • @GrapeJuiceIII
      @GrapeJuiceIII 7 років тому +4

      hey look, today is the 3 year anniversary of this video

    • @LGP_-om4bm
      @LGP_-om4bm 7 років тому +3

      Grape Juice III not one year. Three years

    • @GrapeJuiceIII
      @GrapeJuiceIII 6 років тому

      PENSFAN _8771 fuck

  • @savannah9041
    @savannah9041 Місяць тому

    I love how it gets progressively more chaotic

  • @zbigniewtomczynski
    @zbigniewtomczynski 6 років тому

    Love the way you prounanced Krzysztof Oliwa.

  • @bigj6582
    @bigj6582 8 років тому +7

    You gotta go bardownsky

  • @gvm.markgraf
    @gvm.markgraf 3 роки тому +5

    1:27 is this guy adding another layer of tape to his stick

    • @brandonstone0574
      @brandonstone0574 3 роки тому +2

      He is too Distracted talking about Junior B 🤣🤣

  • @justingreene6805
    @justingreene6805 8 років тому +1

    As someone who plays all the time this is the finest video I've ever seen
    Hilarious

  • @pmistovich
    @pmistovich 7 років тому

    Spot on.

  • @VLASIKPICKLES
    @VLASIKPICKLES 10 років тому +4

    You forgot the term "Sauce"

  • @tomstreek9186
    @tomstreek9186 9 років тому +9

    you missed how to celly

  • @amyluke8892
    @amyluke8892 8 років тому +2

    This channel is making me want to move to canada

  • @CentralPASirens
    @CentralPASirens 7 років тому +2

    4:08 there's always that one person that I want to do that to in the soccer line.