Wonderful Ways to Say No | 1990 | Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue

Here's is "Wonderful Ways to Say No" from the multi-network drug-abuse prevention animated special Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue. With music by Alan Menken and lyrics by Howard Ashman, the song was written by the duo at the request of Roy E. Disney, producer of the special. The special (and song) features the vocal performances of Russi Taylor, Frank Welker, Lorenzo Music, Jim Cummings, Ross Bagdasarian, Janice Karman, Paul Fusco, Townsend Coleman, and Laurie O'Brien.
On his official website, Alan says of the song, "Back in the late 60's I would not have been the poster boy for this cause, but when we were asked to write ‘Wonderful Ways to Say No’ how could we say ‘no’?”
In a 1990 letter, Howard shared his thoughts on the special with his university professor Richard Moody, writing, "Well, we wrote a song and sent it to them and they loved it. And then I watched the show! Not one word was intelligible! All of these squeaking, screeching 'cartoon' voices were making garbled sounds in inappropriate keys at the top of their animated lungs. It was amazing."
The special chronicles the exploits of Michael, a teenager who is using marijuana and stealing his father's beer. His younger sister, Corey, is worried about him because he started acting differently. When her piggy bank goes missing, her cartoon tie-in toys come to life to help her find it. After discovering it in Michael's room along with his stash of drugs, the various cartoon characters proceed to work together and take him on a fantasy journey to teach him the risks and consequences a life of drug use can bring.
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LYRICS
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THERE'S A MILLION WILD AND WONDERFULWAYS TO SAY "NO"
No thanks, no way!
BETTER LEARN A FEW AND TAKE `EM WHEREVER YOU GO
No dice! No sir!
IF YOUR PAL SAYS "LET'S GET HIGH"
HERE'S A PRACTICAL REPLY:
GO AHEAD, LET FLY, SPIT RIGHT IN HIS EYE, AND SAY
"NO"
THERE'S A MILLION INTERNATIONAL WAYS TO SAY "NOPE"
Those drugs are so boring.
ALL AROUND THE WORLD, THE SMART GUYS ARE GIVIN' UP DOPE
I'm in training for football.
IN BERLIN THEY JUST SAY "NEIN"
AND THEY TELL ME THAT WORKS FINE
CAUSE THE BOTTOM LINE'S TO SHOW `EM YOUR SPINE AND SAY "NO"
NOW YOU COULD SAY "BEAT IT, GET LOST,
"GET OUTA MY FACE WITH THAT STUFF"
BUT THAT CAN BE TACTLESS
YOU MAY PREFER COOL ...
Like this --
"I'LL CATCH YOU GUYS LATER, OKAY?
I'VE GOT TOO MUCH HOMEWORK -- IT'S ROUGH
I'M LATE FOR MY BASEBALL GAME
AND I'LL MISS MY RIDE
MY KID SISTER NEEDS ME
HER HAMSTER DIED
GOTTA HURRY HOME
THERE'S NO TIME TO KILL
SO I'LL CATCH YOU LATER
LIKE HECK I WILL!
THERE'S A MILLION WILD AND WONDERFUL WAYS TO SAY NO
Ah choo! I guess I'm allergic.
AND A GOOD EXCUSE
IS SOMETHING YOU NEVER OUTGROW
It's bad for my complexion.
WHEN YOUR PALS SAY "LET'S GET WRECKED"
MUSTER UP YOUR SELF-RESPECT
GO ON, PUSH "EJECT", PROTECT YOURSELF,
GET UP AND GO!
BE THE FIRST ONE ON YOUR BLOCK TO SAY:
NYEH, FORGET IT, DOC!
TRY A COUPLE OF THOSE WONDERFUL
WAYS TO SAY NO!
But you forgot one! Wait!
THERE'S A MILLION, ZILLION WONDERFUL
WAYS TO SAY NO
Stand back and I'll demonstrate.
THERE'S A BILLION, JILLION WONDERFUL WAYS
TO SAY
Hayaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
NO!