Can You Have Unprotected Sex If You Have Herpes with Alexandra Harbushka

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  • Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
  • Yes, of course you can. But before you hit the sheets with your partner let’s talk about some details first.
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    Alexandra Harbushka is the creator of Life With Herpes and she is on a mission to educate, entertain and connect with the underserved and often ostracized people living with herpes. Yes, Alexandra has herpes too and she totally gets what you are going through. She created this community so people living with herpes could learn, connect and get back to living their beautiful lives.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 84

  • @livingbreath
    @livingbreath 6 місяців тому +21

    Are these videos a joke? Nothing Ive seem has had a straight forward answer consistent with the title

  • @shemorhenry18
    @shemorhenry18 2 роки тому +44

    It’s good information but the shame behind it is still there idk man I barley get outbreaks.

    • @robmock2296
      @robmock2296 Рік тому +1

      I got herpes from a gal who hasn’t had an outbreak in 2 years, gave me lots of head before.. shits crazy. But found out 1 week ago

    • @MorganAFunches
      @MorganAFunches 8 місяців тому +13

      Same! I have hsv 1 (cold sores), and idk how I got it, but it makes me feel depressed and not want to live anymore! It's too embarrassing to have.

    • @ORIGINALUSRNM
      @ORIGINALUSRNM 7 місяців тому +11

      @@MorganAFunches - I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling that way. Just thought I would drop a note. As a man, if I met a woman with HSV that I loved and wanted to be with I would still be with her. Its not an end of the world deal breaker if you find the right person. I would just see it as an occasional skin irritation that we now share but I'll be damned if I'm gonna let that stop us from being together! Don't lose hope.

    • @Douugg14
      @Douugg14 6 місяців тому +2

      @@ORIGINALUSRNMthat’s my situation currently. I love her and accept it.

    • @MorganAFunches
      @MorganAFunches 6 місяців тому +4

      @ORIGINALUSRNM Thanks for your kind words, and god bless you! Also, sorry I didn't reply sooner! It's just that the last thing I want to do is spread my disease to anyone. But all I can do is be honest and maybe that person I'll date might have cold sores as well (that might be easier). Also, all power to you! I can see both sides on people wanting or not wanting to continue dating someone with hsv-1 and/or hsv-2!

  • @queentinadoire6931
    @queentinadoire6931 10 місяців тому +21

    Why is this even a question??? Use protection even if you have or don't haves herpes.🤷🏾 STDs and STIs are on the rise.

    • @lifewithherpes
      @lifewithherpes  10 місяців тому +7

      Sadly condoms do not protect fully against herpes. Since there is skin to skin contact even with using condoms, you can still get herpes.

    • @PhillipCGordon
      @PhillipCGordon 8 місяців тому +2

      If you are monogamous, then you are not sleeping with other people, and not susceptible to other STDS. So keeping it in context. Herpes is skin to skin. And it is a good question as at the end of the day communication is the answer, and what people feel ok with.

    • @rustyshackleford3320
      @rustyshackleford3320 6 місяців тому +1

      ​@@lifewithherpesif it's skin to skin then can u not spread it if u don't have a wert at the time. I had ONE appeared few years ago and that's it but I don't want to give it if I do have it

    • @rhythmicwindu
      @rhythmicwindu Місяць тому

      @@lifewithherpesthe “condoms do not protect fully against herpes” is honestly just wrong, at least in the cases when the man has herpes and the woman doesn’t. Personally I only ever get outbreaks on my glans. If I’m using a condom my glans are covered and the ONLY risk at that point is the condom breaking.

    • @gokulhemanthkumar4556
      @gokulhemanthkumar4556 Місяць тому

      Can you explain to me why STDs/STIs are the main reason you pointed out for protection? Isn't PREGNANCY the bigger issue?

  • @arijitgayen644
    @arijitgayen644 7 місяців тому +26

    For those who are lost in the pool of gibberish: If you don't want your partner to get infected by the virus always use protection, if you don't care then you are on your own.

  • @richardwielebnowski3148
    @richardwielebnowski3148 7 місяців тому +23

    Had this for the past 50 years... Make no mistake ... mentally drains you everytime you get a outbreak.
    Truth is your sexual life changes 100% from the day you are diagnosed.
    No ifs or buts... this is reality...chances are you’ll never find a gf/bf willing t expect a normal relationship
    It’s harsh but it’s reality...
    How do you explain it... was it the last girl you had sex with or someone 5 years ago... you can never know and coz you don’t know you have no idea when you contracted it

    • @renatowarrens5552
      @renatowarrens5552 Місяць тому

      😂 lol most people break out 2-14 days after infection so unless you have sex with 10 people in 1 month… people can know who they got it from

    • @mohdnazrien2288
      @mohdnazrien2288 Місяць тому

      Since when you had this virus sir??are you married??

  • @Toastytoez13
    @Toastytoez13 8 місяців тому +10

    You didn’t answer anything

  • @thegrimreaper270
    @thegrimreaper270 Рік тому +37

    I messed my life up smh

    • @Reactionvlogwithsanjoy
      @Reactionvlogwithsanjoy Рік тому +16

      Same bruh.. 😢 after my vreak up i was running here and there

    • @thegrimreaper270
      @thegrimreaper270 Рік тому +18

      @@Reactionvlogwithsanjoy crazy thing is I don’t even wanna spread it n some people out here doing that like crazy

    • @kimsquare5105
      @kimsquare5105 Рік тому +3

      ​@@thegrimreaper270bro how your control spread to other people
      Pls let me know thanks.

    • @RohitRoy-ev4fp
      @RohitRoy-ev4fp 11 місяців тому +5

      I have hsv 1 I'm really confused what to do

    • @MorganAFunches
      @MorganAFunches 8 місяців тому

      ​@RohitRoy-ev4fp same+ I'm depressed as hell I have hsv 1. They make me want to literally die!

  • @joannepiasecka8449
    @joannepiasecka8449 Рік тому +13

    I find this very confusing because in the past videos she talks about shedding! How can you have unprotected sex knowing that we shed and We don’t know when we do

    • @lifewithherpes
      @lifewithherpes  Рік тому +11

      You can. Your partner has to be aware there's a small risk and that's it. It's not physically impossible to have sex if you have herpes - but it all depends on what you and your partner feel comfortable doing. Often, when the relationship is serious, the other person just doesn't care anymore and they're fine with the risk

    • @joannepiasecka8449
      @joannepiasecka8449 Рік тому +3

      @@lifewithherpes thank you for your reply... I understand I'm just so worried starting over ... I'm not alone ... honesty all the way

    • @selfmadequeen3901
      @selfmadequeen3901 Рік тому +2

      What’s the chances of spreading it with anti virals & a condom?

    • @macanthony1982
      @macanthony1982 Рік тому +1

      One sheds when actually having an outbreak... You shed way less (proper hygiene increases less shedding as well)when not having an outbreak... Bottom line, as long as you are not having an outbreak (while taking certain precautions of course), said persons will be fine.... SIDE NOTE: "Shedding" decreases over time

    • @psychastheneia7
      @psychastheneia7 Рік тому +3

      @@macanthony1982 that is almost misinformation. There can be no visible signs of your outbreak and you can still be shedding. Having said that condom does not protect either way fully so condom or no condom there is always a risk.

  • @Glockhead1
    @Glockhead1 7 місяців тому +5

    all this hysteria you guys are so funny. Everyone will have or had herpes ,everyone has it. So stop worrying

    • @onceagaindc
      @onceagaindc 3 місяці тому +1

      Facts.

    • @whyleecoyote2545
      @whyleecoyote2545 Місяць тому

      No actually everyone DOESN’T have it. And that is a lie you are telling to make yourself feel better. I’ve been with many women in my life and I am still negative for HSV1 and HSV2. Stop downplaying this. It is a big deal. It’s not the end of the world, but it’s a big deal.

  • @bbyGirl2L8
    @bbyGirl2L8 5 місяців тому +7

    I got herpes from my ex and I feel like trash.I grew up virgin until I was 18 and was diagnosed at 20 a couple months after I had my daughter.I wanted too get married and have children now I feel I’m going too die.I’m afraid too and ashamed

    • @josephineandrews8796
      @josephineandrews8796 4 місяці тому +7

      My love,your are not a trash, just live a good life and pray to God.i was infected to and now i am cleared. I decided that I was never going to have sex again not on still marriage and research on what type of herpes I was infected with and i prayed to God.

    • @reellyz
      @reellyz 2 місяці тому +2

      Hi I’m in your exact boat, near identical situation. I had no sex lifefor years, found my confidence, got a partner who i didn’t know promiscuous as I was naive and got hsv. I feel like I’m being punished for HER decision to go raw with strangers. What’re you gonna do? You’re not alone. You’re not the only one to feel how you feel.

    • @asiaswrldx
      @asiaswrldx 2 місяці тому

      wow this is the exact thing that happened to me … i cried like someone died yesterday bcse it was me i died . no one will ever love me , ill b alone for the rest of my life

    • @DesertRose4
      @DesertRose4 14 днів тому

      ​@@josephineandrews8796it is a scientific fact some people system can destroy this virus but not all. There are also several strains u can have.

  • @josephward2484
    @josephward2484 9 місяців тому +5

    Im with a girl and im recently getting sores then suddenly blisters along with them so i got tested have yet to get the results back but im so afraid. shes not got herpes but im scared that if i do how can we have a sex life if we have to plan it out and have constant proteced sex? I dont wanna give it too her. And im scared. Itl push us away not neing able to touch or hold each other for such long periods...its so painful to think about...i dont know what to do

    • @lifewithherpes
      @lifewithherpes  9 місяців тому +5

      Many people are asymptomatic and maybe if she would get tested, she would test positive. Actually, many people realize they have HSV only after their significant other gets sores and they realize the truth.
      You don't need to use protection all your life. Condoms actually don't really protect against herpes that well, they are meant for other things, where they do a pretty good job (like preventing unplanned pregnancies).
      Whatever your results are, remember, you are in a relationship and there are two of you who decide what you want to do about it. When two people love each other, there needs to be a communication and things will sort themselves out, if you are committed. If one leaves, then this is not a committed relationship.

  • @shockedprodigyx1441
    @shockedprodigyx1441 2 роки тому +19

    My partner informed me she has herpes she never gets breakouts and she is on the antiviral is sex without a condom still gonna spread? What are the chances of getting it with the condom?

    • @lifewithherpes
      @lifewithherpes  2 роки тому +14

      There's always a chance. With antivirals about 1% chance of transmission. You should know and accept it, if you're planning to stay with her.

    • @efraingarcia2186
      @efraingarcia2186 Рік тому

      Use a condom , the more sex you have the chances are higher..

    • @acegianni9972
      @acegianni9972 Рік тому +1

      It’s what I’m tryna find out

    • @christopherlewis2084
      @christopherlewis2084 Рік тому +1

      @@acegianni9972so what did you do

    • @macanthony1982
      @macanthony1982 Рік тому +10

      As long as your partner is not having an outbreak, you should be fine actually

  • @pm71241
    @pm71241 2 місяці тому +1

    I have to agree with a lot of the other comments here. Though this was not the most vague video on this topic, it seems to me all the videos of this kind beat around the bush and make a lot of assumptions to reach the conclusion that it's no big deal.
    Sure... if you're in your last relationship of your life and it's monogamous ... just deal with it and get it both of you.
    But otherwise... It's really complicated. Dealing with it while dating is complicated. Dealing with it if you and your partner are hoping to do non-monogamous things together is complicated.
    And on top of that, the medical information also points in all directions. Some say you can't get HSV1 twice. Others say you can. ... this is not easy to process.

  • @thenewgeneration2378
    @thenewgeneration2378 5 місяців тому +7

    So my new partner has hsv2 and told me he takes valtrex everyday and hasn't had an oitbreak in three years. We agreed to use condoms but I heard that you can still get it from the skin outside the condom regardless of an outbreak or being on meds. Like what if i have a cut from shaving and it gets in. I just don't want to make a mistake that will affect the rest of my life. Can i give him oral without a condom? If his sperm comes in contact with me, will i get it? Can i get it from kissing him? I've been researching it all night. I can't find good answers though.

    • @lifewithherpes
      @lifewithherpes  5 місяців тому +1

      It's skin to skin. So, if the condom totally covers the area where he has outbreaks, then you're good. But, usually that's not the case and the condom won't cover the whole area.
      Yes, most likely shaving is not a good idea. As women we like to shave, pluck, etc our private area, but it actually makes easier for the viruses and bacteria to enter when we remove that natural barrier.
      Bodily fluids do not contain the virus.
      If you give him oral, you can potentially get it even if he doesn't have an OB. However, without an OB, chances are small that he is viral shedding at that moment.

  • @aneakahmad2692
    @aneakahmad2692 9 місяців тому +3

    HSV 1 IgG 23.01 & HSV 2 IGm 0.431 but i have no syndrom. I goes to marrige? Take any medicine?

    • @lifewithherpes
      @lifewithherpes  8 місяців тому +6

      Yes, you can get married with herpes, of course. Just be honest and communicate with your partner

  • @jamegumb7298
    @jamegumb7298 18 днів тому

    Always and forever, wrap it up. Want kids, go to the clinic to get it done.
    Yuor fault for choosing him/her.

  • @Demeir-m4g
    @Demeir-m4g 15 днів тому

    Unless your partner already has it also or you wanna give it to them, ofc you wanna use protection always bc of shedding is still there wether you have an outbreak or not

  • @TheMototyme
    @TheMototyme Рік тому +8

    How can you have unprotected sex and not get herpes? Talking (being on the same page) does not prevent the spread of herpes. How does this work?

    • @lifewithherpes
      @lifewithherpes  Рік тому +3

      There's no definite answer. It just works, and it works for many. But there's no one thing that we do that keeps our partners from getting it. Communication is the most important thing: I don't feel well today, there might be an outbreak coming...or: I usually get one when we travel, and we just took a trip. What should we do?

    • @macanthony1982
      @macanthony1982 Рік тому

      If one is not having an outbreak (said person is most likely not shedding), you can have unprotected sex

  • @gokulhemanthkumar4556
    @gokulhemanthkumar4556 Місяць тому

    I don't understand why people have unprotected sex if they don't want a baby...

  • @alexsanchez4553
    @alexsanchez4553 Місяць тому

    I just go bareback with women

  • @justreal4379
    @justreal4379 Місяць тому

    Îs Herpes în semen?

    • @lifewithherpes
      @lifewithherpes  Місяць тому

      No, herpes doesn't live in bodily fluids

  • @toltol5882
    @toltol5882 4 місяці тому

    She’s too cool with the fact that she has this virus

  • @aalove25
    @aalove25 Рік тому

    I have herpes 1 I’m worry to do my normal life like go to the gym I hear herpes make you lose weight

    • @lifewithherpes
      @lifewithherpes  Рік тому +4

      Please don't stop living your life because you have herpes. It's such a common thing to just give it all up because of herpes. We understand, however, it's an annoying skin rash. Many people live perfectly normal lives with it, it just causes annoying blisters.

    • @PersianHotties
      @PersianHotties Рік тому +4

      ​@@lifewithherpes
      it's not just skin rash.
      my partner who has herpes, always complaining about pelvic pain, vagina pain, urinary tract pain, and etc. You shouldn't underestimate this STI.