@@Jeffyinthehills Absolutely. Made the final payment on my condo today. Full retirement has arrived. I've been married, divorced(once), dated since 2008. I've met them all and F'd most of them. All they want is your money, chums, some are just more crafty about getting it. Mom didn't raise any slow learners here and her favorite saying was "No fool like an old fool....."
In my opinion - all the good ones are already taken. Been happily divorced after 2 failed marriages 30 years ago ! Alone and quite content. Still living in the US though. If I move over there it will be for cost of living only !!!
I got diagnosed with colon cancer last February. I went to the emergency room here in Cebu (Cebu Docs hospital) with blocked intestines. They ran a few tests and admitted me. Three days later I was in surgery to remove 9” of my sigmoid colon. 16 days in the hospital cost 610k pesos, plus 230k for all the many doctor’s fees. And that was just the beginning of my 2024 adventure. Next came several months of healing followed by 6 months of chemotherapy, all while wearing a colostomy bag. After the cancer was declared 100% cured, I went back in the hospital in October for surgery to reverse the colostomy bag. That was another 12 days in hospital and another 910k pesos. Add in the costs of chemo, many diagnostics and lab work, prescriptions and medical supplies, a caregiver, etc and the total, so far, tops 3 million, or just over $50k USD. No insurance; it all came out of savings, but I have enough that it didn’t dent my wealth much. It did open my eyes to the potential that a similar emergency could potentially befall one of my expat friends here and what would they do? If it were life or death I suppose I’d step in to help. Scary stuff.
My approach is that we have a certain budget per month. I distribute the money to both, my girrlfriend and myself. My girlfriend deals with her family, I don't interfere, but if she runs out of money she needs to wait until next month. The family otherwise is not allowed to talk to me about money. I never gave any of them directly a single peso. They have their culture, I have mine, if you don't like my ways find a richer, younger, more generous guy.
But really your still paying. Why must you give her money monthly? Would you do that with a woman from your home country? And do you suppose that the family doesn't understand where the money comes from? Your paying to play...just in disguise bro
@@Jughead24Because the whole deal makes him happier in the Philippines. If he was in his home country, probably he wouldn't give any money to a granny GF😅 😅
Baby Mae has played her hand, brilliantly, the first woman was very shortsighted. Smart Filipinas know that if you do not ask, the foreigner will give freely, and if the money is not directly given to the family, the elevation of her lifestyle will allow her to support her family. Paul, you are in fact given an allowance, the monthly money you are putting into your account will all go to baby May as it is unlikely you will spend it in your lifetime. The top 1% net worth in the Philippines is the equivalent of $60,000 may will have gone from extreme poverty to a wealthy class all because she knew not to ask for money directly. And the foreigner gets to hold onto his belief that he is not supporting the family and money is not a factor in the relationship.
All Marriages are transactional, you get married to make your life better not the other person, that is the reality. Any 30 year old messaging a 60 yea old is of course thinking security (money) first, but that can still turn into a solid relationship that benefits both.
@@Battleneter you are absolutely correct, there can, however, be a huge gap in the size of the transaction. It is very rare in western society that a woman goes from extreme poverty to the upper class. Paul makes over 20 times the highest earner in Mae’s family. So just because all relationships are transactional, does not mean they have the same impact or motivation
Do I like being single? Yes, I do. Do I wish I were in a relationship? Absolutely. But here’s the thing: I will stay single until I find someone whose presence is more valuable than my solitude. Someone who truly appreciates and respects me. Until I find that person. I’m perfectly happy with myself. My peace and self-worth are far too important to settle for anything less.
@@kathleengarcia3261 My woman fit's the bill , took me a long time to find her but I don't think she is the only one available. I've lived alone for 10 years , happily but when I am with her I am even more happy.
I think giving a regular monthly allowance to the family is wrong but you absolutely should help out from time to time. $20 bucks here and there , perhaps more on occasion, but not a regular "monthly salary." Helping out during a family crisis is clearly important if you are serious about your relationship. Never rush into a relationship. You are a fool if you do.
@blackwonderBW If you're truly a rich foreigner wanting a stable longterm no divorce marriage, limit yourself to affluent educated Filipina who independent financially and who can afford hiring a private investigator to scrutinize your worthiness.
Thanks for sharing Paul. God bless you and Baby Mae. I told my wife, my loyalty is to her and her mom. My mom past away last year at a 105 yrs old. I am living off my SS check, and send some money home to my mom, and give my mother-in-law an allowance of P2,000 monthly. I buried my father-in-law 2 yrs ago. I told my wife since she has job, she can help her family because she is the first born ( you know that story and tradition). I pray to be to save this year and in the future, and I know God will answer that pray, because he brought me here.
Most foreigners in the Philippines live with high financial risk because they don’t have enough money in savings to cover unexpected expenses, mostly related to hospital bills. Family will always be a challenge, as hospital costs, funerals, and other family-related expenses often fall under unexpected costs, and it’s almost impossible to avoid them. Another thing about the Philippines: if you extend a helping hand 10 times in a row and then say no the 11th time, those 10 times will be forgotten-that’s just how it is. Make sure you have at least one million pesos in your savings account, and even that amount might not be enough if you’re really unlucky. Good luck with your eye operation.
I disagree with most. In fact I think it's a very low percentage that come over that financially ignorant, but the horror stories not only stick out, but get passes around like a girl on walking street. I do think it's always a good reminder to not end up one of those stories though. Have your own safety net Fellas!
My grandparents best friend used to always say that you need to learn to say No, because if you give money, then you feel angry. If you don't give them the money, then they will be angry. He said "I would rather have them be angry, than me being angry, because it would just eat me up inside.". That wise advice always stuck with me Paul. Condolences to your family Paul.
My condolences on the passing of Mae's mother. On another matter you mentioned, I'm a physician by training. I think the lower blepharoplasty/eyebag surgery is a great idea, and you will be very pleased. Apart from your eyesight, it will actually be a big thing aesthetically! I plan on doing the same, sometime. Make sure the person who is doing it is board certified, and has a lot of experience in these types of procedures. Good luck.
I agree it is important to have an emergency fund. 6 to 12 months living expenses. In my opinion, one should not financially support a girlfriend's family, or a spouse's family. That is not ok. Just say no.
Always good advice to be cautious of others trying to separate one from their money. Bad people will abuse others and tell themselves it is fine. Taking advantage of someone is just bad behavior. ALWAYS keep adequate money for unforseen events. Take care.
One option for dealing with a relative asking for money is to offer to pay them to work around the house at the minimum rate of pay. Working for money is different than making up excuses to ask for free money.
Fortunately for me, my Filipina wife is more protective of my/our money than I am. She once told me that since she married me she's gotten many pleas for money from family and friends and she just told them no with out even telling me. We do give money every month to her mother. And to the church she grew up in -- that doesn't really cost me any extra because I just split what I give to church between them and our current church. The biggest thing was that once her sister had some problems and I agreed to pay her car payment for 6 months, about $300 / month. That was about the most I'd be willing to do for her family -- that was a real strain.
Absolutely sensible and solid advice, Paul. I wish everyone would would pay attention, but some will be swayed by a broken heart rather than the pain of critical logic. Sadly, the one who is controlled by a broken heart must eventually move on or become a dreaded beggar.
Hi Paul. Thank you for sharing your story and giving your insights into life here in the Philippines. My partner and I took her mother in, and we've taken care of her for a number of years. I'm blessed with my partner being able to provide everything for her mother including having a full-time helper as her mother is now bedridden.
Well Paul, I agree with you about 80%. I have been married to my wife for over 13 years now and we have a 12 year old daughter. We did the she came to the USA and we were married there. Now she has her green card on her 2nd renewal. I now live about 20 minutes from you in the Philippines since August. My wife NEVER ask me for a peso; her family did and she set them straight from day one. Her Mother was dying of best cancer when I met her and passed 2 weeks before I came back to the Philippines to take her to the USA. I paid for the funeral because I felt a need too; not an obligation; I had the money and I did it because I loved my wife. They even waited for me to arrive early before we had the funeral. I put my wives half sister through collage and took care of her half brothers because I wanted too, not because I had too. Next her Stepfather died of Asthma outside on the street; I buried him too even though my wife had no use for him and she never ask for a peso. Then came the Vid, her 23 year old half brother got it and struggled for months before he died. I bled money during that time but once they said his kidneys shut down I knew it was over. My wife did ask me to help and I did because I loved him and he was a good man. My point is this, every single circumstance is different and every family here or anywhere else is not the same. It comes down to a matter of trust between a Man and his Wife, with no trust you have nothing; with trust you have everything. Sometimes, you have to say NO and I agree. Sometimes, you have to say YES even if it hurts the bank account for awhile. We all leave this world with nothing we have acquired during this life. Don't get me wrong, I have planned and made sure my wife and daughter will have very few worries if any. However, if my family here or in the USA needs me I will always do what I can; even if it means I do without for a bit. My wife is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and she NEVER forgot where she came from even after living in the USA for 13 + years. My daughter is my greatest accomplishment in this life period and I have ran a billion dollar automotive plant for many years. You are one of the reasons I moved to this area and I think you are a good man. Everyone is different brother; there is no "Play Book" for life. I do know that being good to people cost nothing unless you have a Florence Nightingale syndrome. You just have to be smart, I grew up on a Dairy Farm in southern Ohio and joined the Army at 17 after high school. I am a crusty old cynical man for the most part but I love my wife and her family just as my own and will always help if I can if there is a real need. Not all Filipinas are trying to make you pay for the family; my wife actually supported here family before I came into the picture. Best Regards.
No one misses what the never had. Just a hand out could create a dependency that will cause a lot of problems when the enabler is gone. Caution, a hand up vs hand out.
I think in your situation the funeral director may have a skin tax added to the exploitation of grief the family feels. Not the family's fault just the reality of death and burial.
I’m really sorry to hear about your wife’s mom. My condolences on her loss. Most days my mom’s the only person I got to talk to, I’d be devastated, I can only imagine how hard that is.
Your solid planning and maes remarkable saving attitude will get you over the hump but hard decisions ahead if the rest of her family has health emergency and or the pursuit of legal land title keeps reaching out its hand
Yep, it never ends once that outflow starts, or so it seems... Gotta nip it in the bud from the start... Reference the nest egg, sounds about right... A year of salary in cash set aside certainly helps you sleep better, or it does for me, lol! 👍😎👍
It Seems the Out Flow💸 of Cash is getting 😭larger & 😭larger 🤬 with on end in sight 👀 until SSA runs out of funds projected to be in 2034 or 2035…🫨😳🫣😭😱😡🤬❗️.. deepest sympathy & Condolences 💔❤️🩹 to 💐Baby Mae family 😢😔..
What was the full cost of the funeral ? I think that would make a very informational video on the sadder side of things in the Philippines. Sorry for your loss
The eye lid surgery (blepharoplasty) is an easy surgery and makes a huge difference. They upper will open the eye up and you will see more and brighter. The lower will make a big difference in appearance. Done together you will look at least 10 years younger. Hopefully your Doc uses a moon shape cut out and uses the natural crease for the scar. Also it your Doc ask is you want to go to the max or a more conservative approach do the conservative. You can always get it done again in 5 or 10 years but what you can't get done is adding skin back.
God bless you, Paul, for being such a kind-hearted person and helping Mae and her family with your mother-in-laws final expenses. Please give my heart felt condolences to Mae and her family for their loss. LOVE FROM IOWA! 😊❤❤❤
I really enjoy your inspected thought on recent events you and may have a wonderful relationship with great understanding and love for each other. I am getting ready to enter the same thing. My significant other is coming back to Kansas City for about three or four months and then we’re planning on making the move to the Philippines on a permanent basis. Thanks for all your help and advice. Phil
Paul, longtime watcher of your channel bc I appreciate your humor, your wisdom and your advice and entertainment. This is another one of those videos where I learn from. Sorry for the loss of your mother in-law, and I personally feel that your doing what's right to do in your situation; not that you should give a xoxoxxo about what I think anyway; but I just wanted to tell you that because of what I said above. Hopefully everything works out.
This is a part of why I like your podcasts Paul you said like a mushroom popping up there will be another emergency another need. You can call it then Mushroom relationships lol. Really good analogies
Wonderful and insightful video. This information you have share in the video really could be quite useful in any lifestyle situation whether it's in the Philippines or living here in Australia. I will definitely share this video, with my sons regarding their finances with their girlfriends. I love listening to these videos and your wonderful insights.
thats a big big video i beleave you have done what feels right for you and mae and thats all that matters between you two dont change anything keep going foward
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us viewers. Oh yeah Paul dont you think its about time to do another 6 hour livestream? lol its winter over here and i probably will be able to hang in there with you for one.
I know the feeling, I am supporting my wife's nicest & nepheurs thru college. Note, my Blushing bride clams I hold a quarter so tightly George says let I cant bread & the eagle is loudly squaring. I say it is better to generally save money so if you need it in the future,
Thanks for another great video Paul, yes it is easier to fall in love with a lovely woman, I have tried it both in Thailand and now and here in the Philippines. and yes it is important to find the right woman before you are reasonably sure that it is not only because of the money that she chooses you. unfortunately in my case it was because of the money but it is you who chooses and we learn as long as we live, that is part of life 🙏🙈🤑🌹
Hey Pauley, As always, good advice ... even thought you do not call it that, it is still great advice. That ought to be a way of everybody's working life, even more so once you reach retirement. My sincere condolences to your dear Baby Mae and her family on the passing of her beloved Mother. I am sure all those of us who have come to know her are sending her our love during this difficult time💔💔💔 Again she was going withdraw her savings to take care of funeral costs ... we love Mae even more🙏🙏🙏
Paul Your always interesting explaining everything perfectly. Have you had both eyes done? Always love your videos never negative, like most there in Dumergete.. Take Care Brian Australia
You know I was raised to be frugal (in Europe) and we were raised so you do not hit on any family member for anything. It never would enter my mind to ask my sister or brothers or my mother, to ask for anything. My mother always said if you don't have the money you don't need it. We just grew up like that. You work, save and do for yourself. I didn't even know what a creditcard was until I came to America. If some of these retired expats wants to be a sucker, more power to them. You just don't rely on someone else - Period.
Retire after working 2 jobs 45+ years, so ... 1. Move/Relocate half way around the world to a Foreign Country ... 2. Start "Courting" to Get Married right away in your mid late 60's ... 3. Support someone else's Family in my Golden Years ... 4. Plan on Living another Adult 50+ Years Lifetime ... and this is all supposed to make sense, HOW?
Same here Paul good video. Been in Phil 20 years and married here for 17 years. My wife never has aked me for money. However I have over the years have paid for funerals for her family. I do keep an emergency stash at all times. 300,000 Peso's. I have had to go to the hospital before and have had a bill as high as 200,000 Peso"s. If you get sick here, plan to pay for it. They wont treat you here unless you pay first.
HI PAUL , I think it was the right thing to do as far as funeral etc. I have watched your channel and MAE s for a long time. Your life there in the PHILS has taught me much , now to try and get there and not fail.. May GOD give MAE and family the courage to go on. May her MOM R.I.P. Good luck with the upcoming surgery , still looking COOL with the sunglasses... GOD BLESS CIAO
Thank you Paul, it's a good warning for foreigners to be careful with their money,and do like you having money for health etc,I think it's still happening to go broke in Philippines,baby Mae is a good wife,I hope she's going ok.
welp makes sense you are still alive and living the dream in philipines plus you are one of the best utubers in philipines you make sense to me on all your videos
AS a expat marriage 29 years.i have helped my family with emergency money that I set aside for our family emergency. Always save extra money that I do not spend..great video..thankyou...
Please do an eybag surgery video, many of us need or will need that. Your cost $850 US, in America 10x that.... That would make a neat video, and I've wondered about cosmetic surgery in the Phils.
Always good to have a safety net if you can. Unfortunately i don't and i live in cebu. But if crap hits the fan im young enough to hop a plane back and work for a while
Good advice. Didn’t like some of the negative comments. My insight is, men like their egos to be stroked. And good gold diggers know the game. But my main comment is condolences to May. Shes a good woman. And you’re a good man. 😊
Hello. I know what you mean. I have some friends there. Something is always coming up. Sometimes, multiple times a week. I really need to get this under control. I'm not about to go bankrupt.
Always great advice, big dog!! Definitely words to live by. I still am absolutely baffled by the people that come over here and literally have nothing to their name, but think they are going to somehow live like a king. I have run into multiple experts that were pretty much homeless and stuck in the Philippines because they had no money to even get back to their home country. Make wise choices. Gentlemen
I could relate to that. Also, my girlfriend is honest and doesn't work per se, but she helped me acquire a house in Letey, and we started to renovate it. Since I am still in Canada for now, she was carrying my desire about the work, so I say she showed me all of the bills, legit ones, and a video of the house and the repairs done, but for her to stay in the house, I have to support her. It is okay; I am still at work in order to get a cushion.
I've been here 5 years paid for a house but cant own it ( on girlfriends name) BAD MOVE. IF YOU DONT LIKE IT AFTER 3 OR 4 YEARS AND WANT TO SELL SHE HAS TO AGREE SHE MAY DRAG HER HEALS ON THAT CAUSE SHE KNOWS BY LAW ITS ACTUALLY HERS so she will play the long game until your gone .
Anywhere you are in the world I think has the same answer to this very simple question. WE do what we want, that simple. But if the question is 'What is the local custom about this practice' - is when you search and learn from the locals. The answer to this very simple question is --- do what you as you pleases personally. No one will prevent you from helping anyone.
Size of the emergency fund also depends on the income sources. If the bulk of your income comes from Social Security you can keep less than 6 months because the likelihood of not receiving SS is low its not like a salary where your employer can go bankrupt. At the end of the day it’s whatever allows you to sleep at night.
Paul great video for an outlook in the Philippines. It seems you got lucke with Mae, Women like that are hard to find, I have been with 5 Filipinas in 5 years. Never saving any money, now live by myself with my dog, Putting away money as a just in case. Yes Philippine people do not understand if you have money do not need to spend all of it the same day, That does not seem to be there Philosophy
My rule, dont just give money ( makes the people lazy) treat them to a reastaurant sometimes , i only support education ore a good business plan ( not a stupid sari) teach them the difference between turnover and profit and more
WTF do you need a woman for? I'm 66 and couldn't be bothered.....
Are you still in the West ? I felt the same way until I got here. Changed my mind real fast
Pay them to leave, Philippines known 4 supporting the extended tribe, SUCKER !!
@@Jeffyinthehills Absolutely. Made the final payment on my condo today. Full retirement has arrived. I've been married, divorced(once), dated since 2008. I've met them all and F'd most of them. All they want is your money, chums, some are just more crafty about getting it. Mom didn't raise any slow learners here and her favorite saying was "No fool like an old fool....."
I can see why a woman wouldn't want you.
In my opinion - all the good ones are already taken. Been happily divorced after 2 failed marriages 30 years ago ! Alone and quite content. Still living in the US though. If I move over there it will be for cost of living only !!!
I got diagnosed with colon cancer last February. I went to the emergency room here in Cebu (Cebu Docs hospital) with blocked intestines. They ran a few tests and admitted me. Three days later I was in surgery to remove 9” of my sigmoid colon. 16 days in the hospital cost 610k pesos, plus 230k for all the many doctor’s fees. And that was just the beginning of my 2024 adventure. Next came several months of healing followed by 6 months of chemotherapy, all while wearing a colostomy bag. After the cancer was declared 100% cured, I went back in the hospital in October for surgery to reverse the colostomy bag. That was another 12 days in hospital and another 910k pesos.
Add in the costs of chemo, many diagnostics and lab work, prescriptions and medical supplies, a caregiver, etc and the total, so far, tops 3 million, or just over $50k USD. No insurance; it all came out of savings, but I have enough that it didn’t dent my wealth much. It did open my eyes to the potential that a similar emergency could potentially befall one of my expat friends here and what would they do? If it were life or death I suppose I’d step in to help. Scary stuff.
I am going back to the states and using my Medicare for anything like that.
God bless you sir. I'm so glad you were able to recover from all that. Imagine how much that would have cost in the USA.
Why not return to US and use health insurance there?
Good idea im with you@Jeffyinthehills
Go back to states for major surgery if possible $5k RT business class
My approach is that we have a certain budget per month. I distribute the money to both, my girrlfriend and myself. My girlfriend deals with her family, I don't interfere, but if she runs out of money she needs to wait until next month. The family otherwise is not allowed to talk to me about money. I never gave any of them directly a single peso.
They have their culture, I have mine, if you don't like my ways find a richer, younger, more generous guy.
Bravo
Absolutely 💯 correct
But really your still paying. Why must you give her money monthly? Would you do that with a woman from your home country? And do you suppose that the family doesn't understand where the money comes from? Your paying to play...just in disguise bro
@@Jughead24Because the whole deal makes him happier in the Philippines. If he was in his home country, probably he wouldn't give any money to a granny GF😅 😅
@@Jughead24 EX Actly
Baby Mae has played her hand, brilliantly, the first woman was very shortsighted. Smart Filipinas know that if you do not ask, the foreigner will give freely, and if the money is not directly given to the family, the elevation of her lifestyle will allow her to support her family. Paul, you are in fact given an allowance, the monthly money you are putting into your account will all go to baby May as it is unlikely you will spend it in your lifetime. The top 1% net worth in the Philippines is the equivalent of $60,000 may will have gone from extreme poverty to a wealthy class all because she knew not to ask for money directly. And the foreigner gets to hold onto his belief that he is not supporting the family and money is not a factor in the relationship.
Well said.....
All Marriages are transactional, you get married to make your life better not the other person, that is the reality. Any 30 year old messaging a 60 yea old is of course thinking security (money) first, but that can still turn into a solid relationship that benefits both.
@@Battleneter you are absolutely correct, there can, however, be a huge gap in the size of the transaction. It is very rare in western society that a woman goes from extreme poverty to the upper class. Paul makes over 20 times the highest earner in Mae’s family.
So just because all relationships are transactional, does not mean they have the same impact or motivation
@@Leonard369C SO true🤷🏽♂️:) 🫨😬😳😱..🤫😂🤣🤭🫣😳🤗🤑…
Do I like being single? Yes, I do. Do I wish I were in a relationship? Absolutely. But here’s the thing: I will stay single until I find someone whose presence is more valuable than my solitude. Someone who truly appreciates and respects me. Until I find that person. I’m perfectly happy with myself. My peace and self-worth are far too important to settle for anything less.
Agree 1000%. A woman can make you but most just want to break you
You've constructed an impenetrable barrier to any relationship
@@kathleengarcia3261 Wanting a good and decent woman is an impenetrable barrier ? That makes no sense
@@tilapiadave3234 No woman will ever make the cut
@@kathleengarcia3261 My woman fit's the bill , took me a long time to find her but I don't think she is the only one available. I've lived alone for 10 years , happily but when I am with her I am even more happy.
I think giving a regular monthly allowance to the family is wrong but you absolutely should help out from time to time. $20 bucks here and there , perhaps more on occasion, but not a regular "monthly salary." Helping out during a family crisis is clearly important if you are serious about your relationship. Never rush into a relationship. You are a fool if you do.
I’m so sorry Paul about Mae’s tragic loss. My thoughts are with her and family. Great video and thanks for sharing. 🙏
Thank you for your kind words.
Yes, condolences! You are both good people!!!
@@reappraisalI agree to all of the above 😢😢😢🙏🙏
11:04 This statement stood out to me most. Your financially strong position does not obligate you. How did the family get by prior to you?
@blackwonderBW If you're truly a rich foreigner wanting a stable longterm no divorce marriage, limit yourself to affluent educated Filipina who independent financially and who can afford hiring a private investigator to scrutinize your worthiness.
Thanks for sharing Paul. God bless you and Baby Mae. I told my wife, my loyalty is to her and her mom. My mom past away last year at a 105 yrs old. I am living off my SS check, and send some money home to my mom, and give my mother-in-law an allowance of P2,000 monthly. I buried my father-in-law 2 yrs ago. I told my wife since she has job, she can help her family because she is the first born ( you know that story and tradition). I pray to be to save this year and in the future, and I know God will answer that pray, because he brought me here.
Most foreigners in the Philippines live with high financial risk because they don’t have enough money in savings to cover unexpected expenses, mostly related to hospital bills. Family will always be a challenge, as hospital costs, funerals, and other family-related expenses often fall under unexpected costs, and it’s almost impossible to avoid them. Another thing about the Philippines: if you extend a helping hand 10 times in a row and then say no the 11th time, those 10 times will be forgotten-that’s just how it is. Make sure you have at least one million pesos in your savings account, and even that amount might not be enough if you’re really unlucky. Good luck with your eye operation.
I disagree with most. In fact I think it's a very low percentage that come over that financially ignorant, but the horror stories not only stick out, but get passes around like a girl on walking street. I do think it's always a good reminder to not end up one of those stories though. Have your own safety net Fellas!
THEY ALWAYS BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS THEM >>> WELFARE SYSTEM >>> AMERICAN MARXIST, DEMOC"RAT" PARTY USA.
Sorry for the loss of your mother-in-law. You are a good man Old Dog. All the best to you and to BM.
Thanks for your kind words!
Great thing you did for your in-law family and continue to do for your UA-cam family! All the best and hope to have coffee with you sometime!
@lmfloria Thanks so much, coffee sounds great 👍
Your wife is a blessing and her family is apart of her happiness. You know she is worth anything you have to make her happy
My grandparents best friend used to always say that you need to learn to say No, because if you give money, then you feel angry. If you don't give them the money, then they will be angry. He said "I would rather have them be angry, than me being angry, because it would just eat me up inside.". That wise advice always stuck with me Paul. Condolences to your family Paul.
My condolences on the passing of Mae's mother. On another matter you mentioned, I'm a physician by training. I think the lower blepharoplasty/eyebag surgery is a great idea, and you will be very pleased. Apart from your eyesight, it will actually be a big thing aesthetically! I plan on doing the same, sometime. Make sure the person who is doing it is board certified, and has a lot of experience in these types of procedures. Good luck.
I agree it is important to have an emergency fund. 6 to 12 months living expenses. In my opinion, one should not financially support a girlfriend's family, or a spouse's family. That is not ok. Just say no.
It's the custom there. If you don't like it, then don't date a filipino.
but what if the monies dont matter at all..
@@peter-pg5yc If money does not matter at all, then you can give me a million dollars, is that right?
What you permit is what you promote.
What kind of marriage can one have that you would have no idea how sick her mother was. Just curious.
WOW !!! LOOKING AT IT YOUR WAY >>>> THAT'S A GREAT POINT >>> A HELLUVA POINT ! PAUL SHOULD ADDRESS THIS ISSUE !
Your two are great human beings with a kind hearts and have found each other, BRAVO!
Always good advice to be cautious of others trying to separate one from their money. Bad people will abuse others and tell themselves it is fine. Taking advantage of someone is just bad behavior.
ALWAYS keep adequate money for unforseen events.
Take care.
One option for dealing with a relative asking for money is to offer to pay them to work around the house at the minimum rate of pay. Working for money is different than making up excuses to ask for free money.
If the woman left the husband to be with ex-boyfriend then why not contact the police and report her...
Which planet do you live on ?
@@davidboskett5581 In the PH that is illegal and she will be arrested.
In the Philippines? Report infidelity to the police?🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
We have those same type of women here in the USA Paul! I call them gold diggers!
For how long does one have to use dark glasses after eye surgery ?
does glasses make his nose look like the biggest thing on his body
Paul just likes to l👀k kool😎,🤣😂😆🤭..🫣😳🫨😜🤪🤩..
With some Filipinas who ask for money (it’s usually something different each time) is like putting out tiny fires that continue to pop up.
Lol, oh yea. Always indirect. Always passive strategy.
its much easier to allow a portion or if too much pressure brought upon you, just say no.
Fortunately for me, my Filipina wife is more protective of my/our money than I am. She once told me that since she married me she's gotten many pleas for money from family and friends and she just told them no with out even telling me.
We do give money every month to her mother. And to the church she grew up in -- that doesn't really cost me any extra because I just split what I give to church between them and our current church. The biggest thing was that once her sister had some problems and I agreed to pay her car payment for 6 months, about $300 / month. That was about the most I'd be willing to do for her family -- that was a real strain.
Absolutely sensible and solid advice, Paul. I wish everyone would would pay attention, but some will be swayed by a broken heart rather than the pain of critical logic. Sadly, the one who is controlled by a broken heart must eventually move on or become a dreaded beggar.
Good job Paul. Condolences to baby Mae and her family.
You're a stand up guy, Paul. You're doing the right thing for the right reasons.
Hi Paul. Thank you for sharing your story and giving your insights into life here in the Philippines. My partner and I took her mother in, and we've taken care of her for a number of years. I'm blessed with my partner being able to provide everything for her mother including having a full-time helper as her mother is now bedridden.
Thanks for your insight Paul!!!
My pleasure!
Very informative video Paul 😊… my condolences to baby May and her family😢…
Well Paul, I agree with you about 80%. I have been married to my wife for over 13 years now and we have a 12 year old daughter. We did the she came to the USA and we were married there. Now she has her green card on her 2nd renewal. I now live about 20 minutes from you in the Philippines since August. My wife NEVER ask me for a peso; her family did and she set them straight from day one. Her Mother was dying of best cancer when I met her and passed 2 weeks before I came back to the Philippines to take her to the USA. I paid for the funeral because I felt a need too; not an obligation; I had the money and I did it because I loved my wife. They even waited for me to arrive early before we had the funeral. I put my wives half sister through collage and took care of her half brothers because I wanted too, not because I had too. Next her Stepfather died of Asthma outside on the street; I buried him too even though my wife had no use for him and she never ask for a peso. Then came the Vid, her 23 year old half brother got it and struggled for months before he died. I bled money during that time but once they said his kidneys shut down I knew it was over. My wife did ask me to help and I did because I loved him and he was a good man. My point is this, every single circumstance is different and every family here or anywhere else is not the same. It comes down to a matter of trust between a Man and his Wife, with no trust you have nothing; with trust you have everything. Sometimes, you have to say NO and I agree. Sometimes, you have to say YES even if it hurts the bank account for awhile. We all leave this world with nothing we have acquired during this life. Don't get me wrong, I have planned and made sure my wife and daughter will have very few worries if any. However, if my family here or in the USA needs me I will always do what I can; even if it means I do without for a bit. My wife is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and she NEVER forgot where she came from even after living in the USA for 13 + years. My daughter is my greatest accomplishment in this life period and I have ran a billion dollar automotive plant for many years. You are one of the reasons I moved to this area and I think you are a good man. Everyone is different brother; there is no "Play Book" for life. I do know that being good to people cost nothing unless you have a Florence Nightingale syndrome. You just have to be smart, I grew up on a Dairy Farm in southern Ohio and joined the Army at 17 after high school. I am a crusty old cynical man for the most part but I love my wife and her family just as my own and will always help if I can if there is a real need. Not all Filipinas are trying to make you pay for the family; my wife actually supported here family before I came into the picture. Best Regards.
Condolence to Baby Mae...for her mothers los.take care..Kuya Rafi from Spain.
No one misses what the never had. Just a hand out could create a dependency that will cause a lot of problems when the enabler is gone. Caution, a hand up vs hand out.
I think in your situation the funeral director may have a skin tax added to the exploitation of grief the family feels. Not the family's fault just the reality of death and burial.
It can be a perpetual cycle I have observed..
I’m really sorry to hear about your wife’s mom. My condolences on her loss.
Most days my mom’s the only person I got to talk to, I’d be devastated, I can only imagine how hard that is.
Your solid planning and maes remarkable saving attitude will get you over the hump but hard decisions ahead if the rest of her family has health emergency and or the pursuit of legal land title keeps reaching out its hand
Condolences to you, baby mar, and her family. In life we constantly put out fire and then build back up, this is just life.
Incredible Wisdom !
Thank you Paul !
🫡🫡🫡🫡
Everyone has different requirements in life. There is no single answer to pass on to inform the masses as to what an adequate safety net is.
Good evening Paul. Great video. It’s nice to have someone to go through life’s ah s#!] moments with.
Absolutely
Very good information Paul. Totally agree with your approach on helping family - and how you handled the funeral for Mae’s mother. 👍
Thanks so much!
My condolences to your wife and thank you for helping in their time of need .
Helping them we must any way we can .
the best answer for "how much money should I have in reserve?", is at lest 6 months worth and as much as you can add to that above that amount.
Yep, it never ends once that outflow starts, or so it seems...
Gotta nip it in the bud from the start...
Reference the nest egg, sounds about right...
A year of salary in cash set aside certainly helps you sleep better, or it does for me, lol!
👍😎👍
I agree!
It Seems the Out Flow💸 of Cash is getting 😭larger & 😭larger 🤬 with on end in sight 👀 until SSA runs out of funds projected to be in
2034 or 2035…🫨😳🫣😭😱😡🤬❗️.. deepest sympathy & Condolences 💔❤️🩹 to 💐Baby Mae family 😢😔..
Cosmetic is a luxury and not needed.
What was the full cost of the funeral ? I think that would make a very informational video on the sadder side of things in the Philippines. Sorry for your loss
I know its Doctors orders. But I'm still loving the new look 😎
The eye lid surgery (blepharoplasty) is an easy surgery and makes a huge difference. They upper will open the eye up and you will see more and brighter. The lower will make a big difference in appearance. Done together you will look at least 10 years younger. Hopefully your Doc uses a moon shape cut out and uses the natural crease for the scar. Also it your Doc ask is you want to go to the max or a more conservative approach do the conservative. You can always get it done again in 5 or 10 years but what you can't get done is adding skin back.
I really enjoy your talks. They helped me prepare for my move to Thailand with my wife. My circumstances are different, but similar.
Great video Paul. Thanks for sharing.
Glad you enjoyed it
God bless you, Paul, for being such a kind-hearted person and helping Mae and her family with your mother-in-laws final expenses. Please give my heart felt condolences to Mae and her family for their loss. LOVE FROM IOWA! 😊❤❤❤
I really enjoy your inspected thought on recent events you and may have a wonderful relationship with great understanding and love for each other. I am getting ready to enter the same thing. My significant other is coming back to Kansas City for about three or four months and then we’re planning on making the move to the Philippines on a permanent basis. Thanks for all your help and advice. Phil
Thank you so much!
Sorry for you guys my heartfelt prayers to both of you
Paul, longtime watcher of your channel bc I appreciate your humor, your wisdom and your advice and entertainment. This is another one of those videos where I learn from.
Sorry for the loss of your mother in-law, and I personally feel that your doing what's right to do in your situation; not that you should give a xoxoxxo about what I think anyway; but I just wanted to tell you that because of what I said above. Hopefully everything works out.
My condolences to your wife and thank you for helping in their time of need .
This is a part of why I like your podcasts Paul you said like a mushroom popping up there will be another emergency another need. You can call it then Mushroom relationships lol. Really good analogies
Wonderful and insightful video. This information you have share in the video really could be quite useful in any lifestyle situation whether it's in the Philippines or living here in Australia. I will definitely share this video, with my sons regarding their finances with their girlfriends. I love listening to these videos and your wonderful insights.
Thanks, glad you found it helpful!
thats a big big video i beleave you have done what feels right for you and mae and thats all that matters between you two dont change anything keep going foward
WISE DECISION NEVER MARRY STAY SINGLE IN THE PHILIPPINES.THANKS FOR YOUR VIDEO.
Paul please give my condolences to Mae's and i wish your operation is a success.
Thank you
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us viewers. Oh yeah Paul dont you think its about time to do another 6 hour livestream? lol its winter over here and i probably will be able to hang in there with you for one.
I know the feeling, I am supporting my wife's nicest & nepheurs thru college. Note, my Blushing bride clams I hold a quarter so tightly George says let I cant bread & the eagle is loudly squaring. I say it is better to generally save money so if you need it in the future,
Thanks for another great video Paul, yes it is easier to fall in love with a lovely woman, I have tried it both in Thailand and now and here in the Philippines. and yes it is important to find the right woman before you are reasonably sure that it is not only because of the money that she chooses you. unfortunately in my case it was because of the money but it is you who chooses and we learn as long as we live, that is part of life 🙏🙈🤑🌹
Hey Pauley,
As always, good advice ... even thought you do not call it that, it is still great advice. That ought to be a way of everybody's working life, even more so once you reach retirement.
My sincere condolences to your dear Baby Mae and her family on the passing of her beloved Mother. I am sure all those of us who have come to know her are sending her our love during this difficult time💔💔💔
Again she was going withdraw her savings to take care of funeral costs ... we love Mae even more🙏🙏🙏
Paul Your always interesting explaining everything perfectly. Have you had both eyes done? Always love your videos never negative, like most there in Dumergete.. Take Care Brian Australia
You know I was raised to be frugal (in Europe) and we were raised so you do not hit on any family member
for anything. It never would enter my mind to ask my sister or brothers or my mother, to ask for anything.
My mother always said if you don't have the money you don't need it. We just grew up like that. You work,
save and do for yourself. I didn't even know what a creditcard was until I came to America. If some of these
retired expats wants to be a sucker, more power to them. You just don't rely on someone else - Period.
Great job, as always!
First off, sorry to hear of Mae's Mom passing. Prayers to the family. Very good video Paul, something to ponder.
You are a good guy Paul. Thank you for sharing what a good guy you are with us.👌👍
Thank you for the kind words.
Retire after working 2 jobs 45+ years, so ... 1. Move/Relocate half way around the world to a Foreign Country ... 2. Start "Courting" to Get Married right away in your mid late 60's ... 3. Support someone else's Family in my Golden Years ... 4. Plan on Living another Adult 50+ Years Lifetime ... and this is all supposed to make sense, HOW?
Same here Paul good video. Been in Phil 20 years and married here for 17 years. My wife never has aked me for money. However I have over the years have paid for funerals for her family. I do keep an emergency stash at all times. 300,000 Peso's. I have had to go to the hospital before and have had a bill as high as 200,000 Peso"s. If you get sick here, plan to pay for it. They wont treat you here unless you pay first.
What an awesome loving culture. Pay or die.
Great video Paul! So, good to see you back to your old self!
As usual your assessment and approach is bang on correct
Thank you!
Professional UA-cam watcher, im going to steal that! 😅
HI PAUL , I think it was the right thing to do as far as funeral etc.
I have watched your channel and MAE s for a long time.
Your life there in the PHILS has taught me much , now to try and get there and not fail..
May GOD give MAE and family the courage to go on.
May her MOM R.I.P.
Good luck with the upcoming surgery , still looking COOL with the sunglasses...
GOD BLESS CIAO
Most foreigners are looked at as a bank account especially in poorer countries
i keep more than 6 months cash in reserve in the bank in addition to my investments. At the beginning of every month you have to pay yourself first.
I think that is a smart way to do it.
Thank you Paul, it's a good warning for foreigners to be careful with their money,and do like you having money for health etc,I think it's still happening to go broke in Philippines,baby Mae is a good wife,I hope she's going ok.
welp makes sense you are still alive and living the dream in philipines plus you are one of the best utubers in philipines you make sense to me on all your videos
"What did they do before I showed up ?" Most asked question in the Philippines. Never gotten an answer.
You tell 'em, Paul!! Good video.
AS a expat marriage 29 years.i have helped my family with emergency money that I set aside for our family emergency. Always save extra money that I do not spend..great video..thankyou...
His wife makes money on You Tube by hawking her wares . She is very classy. Lonely old men need entertainment especially the ones with poor eyesight.
I know that you did a good thing for your wife and her family. I know that your house build has gone no where good too. You are a good man :)
Thanks, it was a tough time.
Great video Paul❤️
You are a good man Paul, salamat!
Please do an eybag surgery video, many of us need or will need that. Your cost $850 US, in America 10x that.... That would make a neat video, and I've wondered about cosmetic surgery in the Phils.
Always good to have a safety net if you can. Unfortunately i don't and i live in cebu. But if crap hits the fan im young enough to hop a plane back and work for a while
Good advice. Didn’t like some of the negative comments. My insight is, men like their egos to be stroked. And good gold diggers know the game. But my main comment is condolences to May. Shes a good woman. And you’re a good man. 😊
Hello. I know what you mean. I have some friends there. Something is always coming up. Sometimes, multiple times a week. I really need to get this under control. I'm not about to go bankrupt.
Always great advice, big dog!! Definitely words to live by. I still am absolutely baffled by the people that come over here and literally have nothing to their name, but think they are going to somehow live like a king. I have run into multiple experts that were pretty much homeless and stuck in the Philippines because they had no money to even get back to their home country. Make wise choices. Gentlemen
Hey Paul - hope all is good . I need to get my eyelids done ( super droopy). We’re in Cebu are you going ? Thanks
I could relate to that. Also, my girlfriend is honest and doesn't work per se, but she helped me acquire a house in Letey, and we started to renovate it. Since I am still in Canada for now, she was carrying my desire about the work, so I say she showed me all of the bills, legit ones, and a video of the house and the repairs done, but for her to stay in the house, I have to support her. It is okay; I am still at work in order to get a cushion.
Sounds legit! Good to know you found it seems a good one!😊
I've been here 5 years paid for a house but cant own it ( on girlfriends name) BAD MOVE.
IF YOU DONT LIKE IT AFTER 3 OR 4 YEARS AND WANT TO SELL SHE HAS TO AGREE SHE MAY DRAG HER HEALS ON THAT CAUSE SHE KNOWS BY LAW ITS ACTUALLY HERS so she will play the long game until your gone .
Anywhere you are in the world I think has the same answer to this very simple question. WE do what we want, that simple. But if the question is 'What is the local custom about this practice' - is when you search and learn from the locals.
The answer to this very simple question is --- do what you as you pleases personally. No one will prevent you from helping anyone.
Condolences to Mae’s family and you too , brother.
Size of the emergency fund also depends on the income sources. If the bulk of your income comes from Social Security you can keep less than 6 months because the likelihood of not receiving SS is low its not like a salary where your employer can go bankrupt. At the end of the day it’s whatever allows you to sleep at night.
Paul great video for an outlook in the Philippines. It seems you got lucke with Mae, Women like that are hard to find, I have been with 5 Filipinas in 5 years. Never saving any money, now live by myself with my dog, Putting away money as a just in case. Yes Philippine people do not understand if you have money do not need to spend all of it the same day, That does not seem to be there Philosophy
My rule, dont just give money ( makes the people lazy) treat them to a reastaurant sometimes , i only support education ore a good business plan ( not a stupid sari) teach them the difference between turnover and profit and more
Condolences to all, you're a good man Paul.