the toxic portrayal of college in television
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- Опубліковано 1 лип 2024
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0:00 what tv shows you
5:03 what tv doesn't show you
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It's crazy how in most Netflix Teen movies, most notably "The Kissing Booth", its leads are somehow able to get into prestigious universities, despite not having demonstrated any academic smarts. They make it look insanely easy.
I thought it was realistic considering how rich Noah was. His parents probably just bought them a building
I almost fell from the chair when they just casually said that Noah was going to Harvard
That was my first thought too when i saw this video. I personally think its partially because of recognizability, especially internationally. As a european who IS interested in american colleges, i know what UC Irvine is, but 99% of people won’t know that.
You are not wrong but I mean I feel like rarely do we see kids struggle with thier academics but oddly enough that is how it felt like in high school when I went it's really weird like when I went to high school I rarely saw kids get straight A's in class and if they did they were a bit of the expectations at least that's how I felt
Every character in the original Gossip Girl getting into Brown
Feelings of failure and inadequacy because you're going to a regular college instead of a world-class renowned one...
omg YES like some of my friends are getting into super prestigious private schools or schools like nyu or ucla but i can't even afford those even if i COULD get in :/ it makes you feel a lot smaller than everyone else bc i can dream about going to those but realistically i will probably not be able to go to anything but a public state school
@cassierxse Try not to be discouraged, I'm going to a public university (although in the UK and not the US) and it's great! You still get the whole university experience, don't worry
I feel like I will have no future. I don’t know how to get this feeling off me. I can’t afford a private school and I don’t even know if I’m smart enough to get in one, I feel like I will be an adult with no chances in life
@@Z-nl3ln You don't need to go to a private university to get higher education, seriously.
Especially going to community college or not living on campus. It’s so isolating
One thing that irks me about the portrayal in college in fiction is that it's EXACTLY the same as high school, complete with nerds being bullied by jocks, the focus on relationship drama, and how nobody seems to be overally focused on their academics, instead spending more time on extracurriculars. (Pitch Perfect, I'm talking about you!)
Pitch Perfect was based on the college I used to go to (Belmont University). It was just like that there. Highschool 2.0. That’s why I left to go to a public state school, so much better.
@@Sherbishi’m lowkey interested in going to belmont- would you recommend it? is it a good college or not actually the best?
Isn't Belmont known for being that way though?
@@Sherbishomg 😨
I mean, like anything, college has its niches, but no one cared which one you are a part of.
One thing that pisses me off is characters getting into Ivy leagues just because they have good grades. 🙄 Girl, *everyone* applying to an Ivy has good grades! They never show characters doing extracurriculars, volunteering, studying for tests like the SAT, maybe entering competitions, getting teacher recommendations... y'know, the things admissions officers LOOK for.
one example of where this is shown is gilmore girls! in it one of the side characters especially goes through a lot of volunteering, extracurriculars and basically everything she can just to get into her dream school - in that show going to anything that isnt an ivy college is also portrayed as a failure in life
that’s why i liked never have i ever
@@grunipers2.5children23 yeah but then rory gets in with virtually no extracurriculars
@@mediums_true but she’s also a legacy, had that building built in her name (i think), and went to a prestigious high school. i think she would’ve had a good shot regardless of her extracurriculars, but paris definitely should’ve gotten into harvard too
@@haydennagy196 she wasn't a legacy at harvard nor did they donate anything to harvard - it's true she had connections still but have you seen the kinds of people who get rejected by harvard?
This is exactly why I love Devi so much. She works her butt off everyday and even when she's going crazy off her mind she's doing extracurriculars, studying and actively doing her best for her IVY dream. The best part is; she gets rejected from every single one EXCEPT Princeton and even there she was waitlisted. The most realistic portrayal of College Application and admission I have ever seen.
Fully agree here. I originally had a gripe with them not having her apply to any safety schools at all, but then I realized that was actually fairly in character for her.
She's the only one that gets a pass for not applying to safety schools. Everybody else should know better 😅
In my head, all her essays were about how much she wanted to get into princeton and that's why she got rejected from every other school
Agreed. Devi is the only semi-realistic take on Ivy admission.
Naw. Her ecs were a lot, but not centered around anything! She just did stuff, no focus, she realistically shouldnt get into anytjong, much less for engineering christ
FR FR
also, can we talk about how characters are always portrayed as either being super smart and scholarly or super dumb and failing classes? like why is there no representation for B+ students or just students who are smart in different ways? I never failed a class and I've had fairly good grades but I could never relate to characters that are super smart, are in every honor society or get excepted to the best schools and that used to make me feel so insecure.
as someone who just got rejected from her dream school (an ivy) seeing characters get into top schools without ever even mentioning their academics or extracurriculars is so irritating 😭
Hope you're handling it well! I'm sure wherever you go to college you'll be great. Ivy leagues are just a waste of money and prestige.
Aww hon I’m really sorry but honestly don’t let it bother you too much! I also got rejected from a bunch of prestigious schools despite having really good academics and it HURTS but from what I’ve heard a lot of those schools are pretentious and overpriced anyway :,) you’re going to be successful no matter where you go!
I think it’s irritating for everyone. I went to an Ivy League and I was still always so annoyed that those characters never had to work as hard as I did. That being said, prestigious schools don’t always mean you’ll get a good education, so don’t be discouraged. You don’t need to go to those schools to be successful and happy. I’m sure you’ll do great wherever you go! Good luck!
Same. But what can we do hopefully any second or third options you had are still in play
Oh no im so sorry😭😭😭 I also just got rejected from my dream school (Columbia), and I’ve been feeling absolutely crushed and worthless for the past month. We can get through this together and excel and live our best lives! I promise happiness is so close even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, and I’m always here to talk if you need to!
My mom was extremely discourraged from going to college when she was young because she was a woman. The thinking in her town at that point was that women getting educated was a waste of time because they would eventually just get married and have kids. She was the first person in our entire family history to graduate highschool let alone college. That's why these Ivy League "legacy" kids and "obviously I'm going to harvard" plotlines really irk me. Its so immensely privileged and blind to the lack of generational wealth of most Americans.
To be fair I think Gabriella was a literal genius and had extra curriculars and a job. I think she could believably get into Stanford
Gabriella getting into Stanford and Teddy Duncan getting into Yale were the only times this was believable.
@@user74027nh it was also believable with Devi, besides her outburst.
My brother got into Standford and I know he did a lot but really it was his interest in math and physics that made him stand out to the institution
Same with Peter Kavinsky honestly - he's an incredibly good lacrosse player in the movies and books, to the point that the school gets more hyped for his team than they do for like... football or soccer. He gets scouted, and if he has decent grades, he probably would get into Stanford. That's how it works for a lot of student-athletes. What I don't buy is him having time to do all these cutesy dates with Lara Jean and get into all sorts of drama. The athletes I know in high school who wanted to go D1 (one of whom is now committing to Yale) are either doing homework, at the gym, or at practice. That's it. They date people on the opposite-sex team, if they have time to date at all.
@@user74027nh Neither would have stood a chance at those schools if they were to actually apply as real people in today's age.
also the fact that elle and noah got into harvard is the most ridiculously fictious thing i have ever seen, esp with that essay she wrote. and her ECs were like kissing booth and dance club? no way she'd actually get in
I think she did soccer too but yep
Also last minute Video game developing interest? Felt rushed in when we saw her play only dance machines and Ori for like 5 seconds. Also the machines felt more like a bonding tool for her and her best friend? Game theory is not easy and I have never seen Elle work hard EVER! Also Noah had a literal criminal record? No way he got into Harvard.
@@apollogist4067 exactly no way harvard accepted both of them
The way higher education in the US is distopian. I live in Belgium, I "applied" to my university by sending my secondary school diploma and a picture of my ID and that was it. I was in.
And the way you guy pay thousand of dollars per semester and we pay under a thousand... Mind blowing.
There is a huge problem with your education system and I hope that it will change.
girl worry about yourself, the condescension isn't cute
@@favour911 nah but they're completely right though, and I say this as someone born and raised American. Our higher education system is outrageously expensive for no goddamn reason.
@@favour911 No dude the US college system is garbage. Such a scam. So corrupt. It should be mentioned whenever it's brought up. Speaking as a college kid in the US. There's some majors that will never be able to pay off their school debt within the next decade of their life even if they get a related job the day of their graduation.
@@Grey_3438 they're technically correct, but it gets on my nerves when people from other, significantly smaller countries, choose to speak about the U.S's problems when they have no stakes in its future as foreigners. Pity and condescension don't get us anywhere.
In my country (latinoamérica), public college is better than private. We pay less than $5 to take the test and a % of the test is earn by your notes in the last two years. Private schools only care if you can pay
One thing that always irked me about To All the Boys I Loved Before is that the movie changed what colleges LJ and Peter go to from the books! In the books Peter gets into UVA (still a CRAZY competitive school but it's no Stanford) and Lara Jean goes to UNC. I always loved that about the books because it felt more realistic and made the characters feel less unrelatable :( When they changed it to NYU and Stanford in the last movie I was so sad, especially because by then I was out of high school and KNEW how unattainable those schools are.
Yes that annoyed me too! I live in NC and loved seeing those colleges in the series and hate that they had to change it to even harder to get into schools for the movies!
And UNC, out-of-state, is just crazy hard; you may as well be applying to Duke...
I went straight to community college because it was closer, cheaper, have smaller classes & professors who can teach. After 2 & a half years I went straight to transfer to a university to finish my bachelor’s degree. Now I went back to my community college to finish some courses I didn’t have time to take for my career to enter a program
People really be putting down community college because they see it not the same as University. When University is way more stressful & people only care when going into a 4 year
Going to a community college has its drawbacks but as someone who did end up transferring to a university I'm so glad I did.
Mainly because the whole "college experience" is just kinda bs and unattainable for a lot of people if I'm being honest. Especially in regards to money. I didn't get the luxury of hanging out with my friends and partying every weekend because we all had jobs on top of our classes.
@@user74027nh yep!! I definitely agree 👍🏽 I never was invited to parties because I just focused on my class & there are other adult events to do outside of University. I did have ups & downs with my university but I’m glad I got to experience it.
For me, the college experience wasn’t about parties, but rather club events. And this weekend, I went to the bridal shower of one of my close friends from our drama club. Those people are still the ones I consider someone I can just randomly text, and it feel like nothing.
I'm from a poor country and I want to go to a community college in the US, and I had a horrible experience with a private university there years ago. I'm excited about it but I'm kinda nervous about my visa interview. I'm scared they'll reject me cause it's a cc.
The absolute best eduction I got was at my community college. At least here in California, they are excellent. Entirely student focused (professors aren't doing research or other things), and affordable, and fucking diverse and awesome. So great.
i think rory gilmore getting into yale is one of the few that's actually really realistic because you can see through the years how much time and effort she push through, she's from old money, all the extracurriculars, plus she's exposed to harvard since she's young, being obsessed and researched about it for forever. it really makes sense that she has a high chance of getting into at least harvard. even though throwing in Princeton is a bit too much i think
Agreed. It’s been a while since I’ve watched the entire show from start to finish, but I recall that a big part of why she got into so many prestigious schools was because of Chilton and the Gilmore name. Of course, she’s also very studious and had good extracurriculars, but the thing about the Ivy League is that it’s more about who you know than what you know.
Didn’t her grandfather also pull some strings against Rory’s mom’s wishes? I mean her grandparents are clearly upper crust I think that’s a big factor for getting in.
Didn’t her grandfather also pull some strings against Rory’s mom’s wishes? I mean her grandparents are clearly upper crust I think that’s a big factor for getting in.
Didn’t her grandfather also pull some strings against Rory’s mom’s wishes? I mean her grandparents are clearly upper crust I think that’s a big factor for getting in.
@@norah7823the whole reason lorelia was willing to accept Friday night dinners at her parents was so that Rory could go to Chilton and then to Harvard. The chilton name on your application would get you pretty far in the acceptance process. We can see how rigorous it was, it also taught Latin at a high level which anyone going into humanities needs to learn Romance languages more easily and understand documents written in Latin and to study classics. Chilton was basically the Ivy League high school.
As someone who busted my ass my entire life, got into MIT, couldn't afford it and ended up going to a school most people don't know... these tv shows and movies drive me absolutely crazy. LIke seriously you're biggest struggle is deciding if you want to go to Stanford to be close to your bf or Harvard because its your dream school? Go to hell honestly
OH MY GOD THIS IS A TOPIC THAT IM INSANELY PASSIONATE ABOUT BECAUSE I GREW UP IN A SCHOOL FILLED WITH PRIVILEGED KIDS I EVEN MADE MY SENIOR YEAR PROJECT RELATED TO THIS I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY
I'm an immigrant with no knowledge about how the schools here work so my mom can't help me. I'm privileged enough that my mom finished college, but not in the US. What about the kids whose parents didn't even go to college?
A lot of kids in my school put down people who were planning on going to community college and didn't take AP classes like me. Like what is the big deal?! They're so unaware of their privilege that they see anyone different than them as lower, or think they're stupid. They were all taking these advanced classes that you had to PAY OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL FOR!!! I didn't even know about that and don't have the means for it. A lot of underprivileged kids are just as smart as them, but don't have the same resources they do. They act like if people don't get into a high end university (which in my school's case was UC Berkeley), their life is over. At the end of the day, we're all gonna end up in the same jobs anyway.
Same. Sob.
I didn't know I could get college credit in high school. My parents never told me. I had no idea.
Then it took me 3 years to finish an associates degree because my advisor wasn't keeping me in enough class hours. And I missed out on my state grant because I didn't know to sign up for it my freshman semester. I can't get that back. Over $40,000 in total that would've gone towards my costs across those three years.
It's so unbelievably, phenomenally important that your parents care, since one thing missed can cost you tens of thousands of dollars.
Does anyone remember all of Gossip Girl's cast getting into ivies? 😭 absolutely unrealistic how everyone got in while we KNOW that they're rather stupid and are NEVER shown in class or doing homework. In real life, none of them (except Blair) would be even organised enough to manage the logistics of an application process 🙏
true but also all have the money to buy their way in... the original Olivia Jades
The only scene I ever saw of that show was two kids at a party commiserating that they had been rejected at one of the Big Three (I forget which) and had to "settle" for their "safety school" which I think was Brown. As someone who had considered making Brown his early admission choice back in the 80s, and applied to Wesleyan instead because it was slightly easier to get into, I immediately concluded the show was ridiculous and never watched again.
Our school district made us start researching colleges in THIRD GRADE. Like sit in front of a computer and google college websites to decide which one we wanted to go to. Pretty sure we did something similar every single year after that…insanity. It definitely contributed to my anxiety, and I didn’t even recognize it until I was a sophomore or junior into college. There’s NO reason to make little kids research colleges or seriously look that far into the future….
I'm so glad someone's talking about this! I grew up in an affluent public school system, and in my experience, most people still only applied to 1-3 schools because of the application fees!! Kids also loaded up on APs to theoretically save money on college courses, have a more attractive curriculum for colleges, or to have the ability to take more advanced courses earlier on in college. Also, a lot of kids transcripts did actually start in middle school, since certain advanced/honors courses began placements in 6th grade, and you'd need to have the previous honors course to keep advancing (example: taking algebra in 7th or 8th grade counted as a high school course and would therefore show up on your high school transcript, even if you're taking the class in middle school).
Also, I wound up going to community college to save money and the realization that so much dialogue around college is insanely classist and elitist was so eye opening. Trade schools are a super viable option that's rarely, if ever, discussed in high school or media. Community college / commuting / transfer students are extremely common, as well. And very few people actually go to college out of state because of the extra fees, cost of travel, etc. Media is not a normal depiction of education!!
Dude omg the part about starting their advanced classes in middle school is so true!! Those kids acted like they were smarter than everyone when they just had the resources to take those advanced classes. But once you get to high school whoops too late should've taken algebra in 6th grade 😕
This reminds how in Never Have I Ever this was this random ass scene where in the middle of him supposed to be studying, Paxton just stops and starts doing woodwork to make the legs of his table stop wobbling. I thought it was gonna lead to him going to trade school for carpentry or something but it didn't lead up to anything so ig they just forgot about that plot point. ☠ Would've been cool to see trade school representation
yeah, it's so annoying when people imply or even outright say that community college and trade school are objectively worse than regular colleges, it definitely feels at least a little classist.
my school lets us attend trade school during high school, so i plan on doing that and then going to community college when i graduate. maybe in the future when i'm more stable i can go back to college if need be, but i'm not going to let people pressure me into going into debt for no reason.
I'm not aware of how elite UVA and UNC at Chapel Hill are, but I appreciate that the Always and Forever, Lara Jean book mentions those schools because they're local (the books are set in Virginia) and out of state tuition is a part of the college conversation. Not everyone can afford to live on campus/out of state. I went to a community college for two years and transfered to a local university.
Both are pretty competitive schools, particularly for those who live out of state! They're often known as "public Ivies"-some of the most prestigious public colleges.
can come on please tell me what the difference is between community college and university?
@@Me-vn3gzcommunity college is typically a 2 year program, and at the end you receive what is called an associate’s degree. These are really useful for some careers or can be an accessible and more affordable way for people to complete their first 2 years of college. A university can also be called a college but is not a community college. Universities typically offer 4 year programs, which end in a Bachelor’s degree. A Bachelor’s degree is what you need for a lot of jobs in the US. Most universities allow people to transfer from community colleges, so some people will go to community college for 2 years and then do another 2 years at a university to receive the 4 year Bachelor’s degree. After you get a bachelor’s degree, you can go into the work force or apply for graduate school, which can be a master’s program (2 years), a PhD program (4-8 years), or a specific type of graduate school (medical school, dental school, vet school, etc.)
Like @smallgreenlimabean said, both UVA and UNC are highly competitive schools, especially for out of state students. I attended one of these universities out of state, and it was about a 10% acceptance rate when I applied. They are not quite as prestigious as Ivy leagues, but are often referred to as public ivies because of their prestige and are ranked as some of the best universities in the country. However, given that Lara Jean is from Virginia, her portrayal of wanting to go to UVA is WAY better and way more accurate than the movies’ portrayal of Stanford and NYU. Even though these schools are incredibly competitive and incredibly prestigious, they are more accessible for people who live in that state and are WAY WAY WAY cheaper than ivies because they are public. I think in-state tuition at these schools is around $13,000 whereas most public schools are closer to $40,000 or more for just tuition. Public schools also offer quite a bit of scholarships and grants to out of state students so it’s still way more affordable than private schools.
@@Me-vn3gz community colleges typically offer two-year programs, and at the end you receive what it’s called an associates degree. These degrees can be useful in some careers, but a lot of careers require a bachelors degree. When you go to a university, which can also be called a college, but not a community college, this is typically a four-year program, and ends in a bachelors degree. However, community colleges are more accessible and affordable than four-year universities and most universities allow transfers from community colleges. In these cases, some students will go to a community college for two years and receive their associates degree, and then they will transfer to a university and complete another two years to finish a bachelors degree. After receiving a bachelors degree, you can go directly into the workforce or you can apply for graduate school. Graduate school can end in a masters degree (2-3 years), a PhD (4-8 years), or can be a specific type of graduate school (medical school, dental school, veterinary school, etc.).
omg i live in an asian country that is very academically-focused, and this uni application process truly sounds dystopian 💀
to me, it feels like the US govt tries to limit supply and demand of many essential services using the free market, which results in things like education and healthcare becoming EXTREEEEEEEMELY unaffordable, and possibly overpriced
It’s less that the gov is actively trying to make it unaffordable, more that:
1) colleges are for-profit institutions with NO restrictions on how much they can charge students
2) Gov funding to higher education has gone down a LOT in the past few decades, so the colleges just shifted that cost to the students
3) A lot of the loans have become privatized, especially for grad school, and there aren’t restrictions on interest rates, so you get 6% interest rates (compared to the 1-2% interest rates of the 1990’s).
4) Because colleges are businesses, they are trying to keep students coming (even though numbers have been declining for years). So you get a lot of amenities or “perks” by being a student (gym access, free entry to sporting events, free entry to special events your campus puts on) but there is no way to opt out of these “perks” to save money. It all is automatically part of your tuition cost and parking ticket fees.
5) Living on campus
Most colleges make you live on campus the first year unless you have already been living in the area. If you live on campus you are usually required to have a meal plan too.
This is even worse for us non American/Canadian/British/Australian peeps who were only exposed to these western media and thought that to we have to go to college there! As a high schooler I was stressing out about getting accepted as an international student in MIT until I figured it was too expensive to apply anyways and this year I got accepted in my country's best public college which is free. Oh well
I disagree (respectfully) that its worse for people not in North America and UK and Aus. I mean, being close by to all of the colleges that are represented as the only respectable option for a good future kind of sucks from experience. I live next to one of the most prestigious schools in the US. I have a near perfect gpa, but I would need to cure cancer three times over to be accepted. But we see all these characters in our media getting into harvard, yale, princeton and it’s their happy ending, but with such low acceptance rates everyone who works their ass off feels like a failure when they don’t get in.
ur so right!!! and people really need to talk about this more. im indian and i basically grew up on these disney and netflix shows and i think the way they portray american colleges and the environment in general is really appealing to us intl kids because its so different than what we're used to. and then we get it into our heads that american unis are elite compared to our own countries because thats all we see on tv
and then we stress ourselves out in high school trying to do what the american kids are doing even though we dont have the same resources as them, only to get rejected :(
@@char5285yeah I agree I think it’s easier for non-americans, I mean I understand feeling pressure to be an international student since these are the only colleges we see on TV but as an Australian I always thought it was wayyy too out of reach, I did however get into the best uni in my area (which yeah they definitely was pressure to get in) but it was very achievable from my relatively privileged position and a lot of people get in as long as they meet the requirements
So I can’t imagine how stressful it would be to have your local college so out of reach- it would be a lot of pressure to be so close but still so far
@starevans5565 same here. I worked my butt off to get the year 12 results I did, but my ranking was plenty to get into the most prestigious uni in my state, and all I had to do was make the automated phone call (as it was then) to tell the state admission office which were my top 10 preferred courses. Then I took my exams, and waited for uni placements when they were released a couple of months later. No essays, no interviews, no personal statements, no extracurriculars or anything like that. As soon as i got my year 12 results, I was fairly confident I'd get into the course i wanted to, because it was higher than the typical cut off. (Plus it didn't hurt that my second choice had a really low ranking cut off)
@@char5285 yep that makes sense. i didnt mean its worse in the sense that we have more pressure and a harder time, sorry about that. i just meant the ideas we get are pretty big because we know our chances are even LOWER, but when we just give up that idea and try in our country (even if they're 3rd world countries , like mine). being only exposed to western media does kind of make you want that life too and it sucks to thing you wont get it. but yeah I bet it's pretty hard not being able to go to the college you have near just because they're so expensive and hard to get into. i hope you get into an awesome college whatever rank that is
I’ve been saying this for YEARS after watching To All The Boys, The Kissing Booth, and TSITP!! Like no way Conrad who ditched his finals got into an even better college… it just bothers me so much as someone who did really well academically and still got rejected from lots of schools to see Ivy League/Ivy adjacent schools being set as the standard in every piece of teen media! And in no world is NYU/UC Berkeley someone’s safety school ffs
TSITP really bothered me on this issue. That one guy is all moping and depressed that he has to settle for Brown, when he really rather be at Stanford. Literally the show wants me to think he's short changed for being at a slightly less well regarded incredibly elite school. No.
I always romanticized going to college but now that i have 1 final year in highschool, i feel SCARED like, will it actually be a good experience? Will i actually fit in? I have NO idea..
Colleges are a lot more designed for you to roll with a crowd. The people in the same major as you, clubs. College is MUCH bigger than highschool you simply will not encounter so many highschool archetypes (jocks, cheerleaders, brainiacs) especially if you’re not partaking in activities where you would meet such people
But also my major had like 14 people so it was easier to memorize my classmates and get to know them
"fitting in" is way less of an issue. youll find people you like, there are going to be so many people there. Also, my experience is obviously not universal but my first year of university was EASY. My hardest years of my life were junior/senior year, but university starts out p easy. For reference, I was a STEM major. Make sure to enjoy yourself now and later! high school has its perks and I did find myself missing parts of it, but I miss being in college now that I have graduated!
You'll be fine. I still have mates from Uni that I hang out with to this day.
The hard part is after you get out of college. When you start working full time, and so do your friends. So you can't hang out like you used to.
That bit stings.
College is worth the romanticization, it’s so much better than high school because if you don’t fit in, you find another crowd and you WILL find your crowd. Don’t be scared to put yourself out there and try new things, because everyone wants to have friends just as much as you!!!
It is so confusing to me why movies and tv only show characters going to literally crazy schools, even the most average individuals. as a kid i literally thought that was like the only option for schools. I am now 22 and PLEASE if you live in California - go to a community college first. It is COMPLETELY free for california residents for two years as long as you’re enrolled full time. i went to a community college then transferred to a cal state and i have NO debt, i have a very good savings account for my age, and i got my bachelors in three and a half years. Do not go into insane debt for a degree when you can literally do it for less than $10k.
I was watching Never Have I Ever and was when I saw the hyperfixation on Ivys. Spoilersfor anyone who han't finished the series-
I was glad to see some characters NOT go to Ivy League school because it made it a little bit more real. It's still crazy that three people from the same school got into an Ivy at all but I liked that with Devi her mom yelled about how stupid it was that she only applied to Ivy and how the show was aware of how stupid it was for her to have no backups because she gets completely denied. It's a reality most of these shows don't acknowledge that even if you're the best, being the best isn't nothing when you're competing with thousands or hundreds of thousands of the best. She gets into Princeton eventually but it's definetely treated like a big deal also because gurl was literally hanging on by a thread. 😭
Three people from a large cali high school isn’t rare at all. I wnat to a generic suburban high school outside of Philly and in my grad class we had three go to Princeton and two to upen
disney characters being sad that they have to attend berkeley over an ivy couldn’t be more accurate to reality! i’m a current sophomore at berkeley and it feels like most people i meet here don’t want to be here lol.
like these ppl put in so much effort into their grades and did rlly impressive extracurriculars (i’ve met a girl who was a published author, a guy who did summer research at harvard, a guy who published a paper, etc) and of course they all aimed for ivies - but even all of that wasn’t enough and now they’re here. never have i met a group of people with such an inferiority complex.
i guess what i’m trying to say is that rejection and feeling of inadequacy is universal. you could be top of ur class and discover the cure for cancer, but there’s probably someone just as qualified whose gonna get that spot at Harvard. grades and ec’s can only get u so far, luck plays a huge role in this
Thank you for covering this! I just finished my apps, and the MOST COMMON THING I get from adults (even family friends who are professors!!) is they pressure me to apply to ivy leagues, just because I do well with academics. They think because I’ve worked hard, and I am a legacy, that “Im guaranteed admission”???? No individual is entitled to any one school! Success does not equal giving hundreds of thousands of dollars away to institutions! My mom went to Cornell, and her anxiety began there. She hated it and tried to transfer out twice. There are hundreds if not thousands of videos on youtube of kids who feel worthless after attending these schools. And yet, no matter the hierarchal, economic, and systemic issues that occur at these schools, they’re still portrayed as unicorns and rainbows in media and everywhere!!! So sad. Abolish “prestige”!!!!
I went to a small rural college that honestly wasn't even that academically rigorous. And in my time there I was still the most anxious and depressed I had ever been.
I can only imagine it's like 50x worse for the people who DO get into these prestigious schools.
I'll be curious to see how this is portrayed 20+ years down the line. I went through this process during the peak of Covid, right as many colleges were getting rid of requriing the SAT and ACT exams.
I started school at Loyola which is private and expensive. I ended up transferring to a state school after my sophomore year. Not only did the state school have a BETTER program than Loyola did for what I switched my major to, but it also cost heaps less. My friend continued and got his master's from Loyola and now still owes six figures in student debt. I'm finishing my master's now and only have $4000 left to pay back. We work at the same place. The "best" schools are not best for everyone.
The fact that you really addressed the financial aspect was very necessary, I think a lot of these shows feature characters that are wealthy or come from legacies. It would be nice to have more media focusing on the cost of these things, I remember having to ask the school to cover the cost of my APs cuz we couldn’t afford it, which was kind of embarrassing. On a lighter note I am definitely only calling dollars ‘buckaroos’ now 😂 Thanks for another great video!
If we’re making this a college advice/awareness video, here is my advice to high schoolers: *DONT SLEEP ON COMMUNITY COLLEGE*
I feel like the two-year universities get a bad rep in media, and it’s not for everyone, but if you’re like me and wasn’t fully sure what you wanted to do and just wanted to take a bunch of different classes, get an *associate of arts/science* or whatever degree at a two year university, it is usually much cheaper, a smaller school (which I personally like), and you can still go out of state if you want, or you can stay local and save on living expenses (if u chill with ur parents) and then after that you can transfer to a four-year university (idk about the ivy-league ones, idk what they do) most likely as a junior and just take the classes that you need for your major.
I will also add to this tho if you plan to transfer to a 4-year after u get ur associate’s, use transferology to make sure your classes will transfer properly and try to take any prerequisite classes you can at your two-year school
In conclusion: if you’re in high school, and don’t know what you’re doing, maybe consider a two-year university and getting an associate’s degree
Also all this is in America idk anything bout the rest of the world lol
Community college is very underrated and the stigma around it is so undeserved. My brother spent a year there and he got a great education during his time there. I wish that growing up I would’ve respected them more. I had the idea that community college is ‘for dumb people’ stuck in my head, when in reality it’s just as good if not a BETTER option for people with financial issues or job schedules
100% yes it's the smartest move.
I went to community college before transferring to a private school and it was a really great decision for me. It helps so you don't go broke, you can get good grades at the college and use those to transfer with (I was homeschooled so I basically didn't have any grades), get your core education classes out of the way, it can help you figure out what you want to go into if you aren't sure by trying different things, and it's a lot more relaxed so you can make friends easier and dip your toe into college life instead of being flung headfirst into the stress of a regular college. Community college also gives you time to save up money since you aren't swamped with schoolwork and classes, and you have time for extracurriculars or volunteer work which would be good for applications. I would have been so much more stressed and lost if I had gone straight to applying to college
as a senior who has finished submitting my college applications but is now realizing that i will be receiving (more) decisions soon and that i have to then make a decision fairly soon….thank you for making this video 😭 i’ve been so stressed for YEARS since i’ve always been a perfectionist taking like the hardest classes i can, and i really hope that everything kinda falls into place for me bc i am soooo anxious rn
edit: also like with extracurriculars im so mad at myself for not getting stuff together earlier (as in freshman year), but also it’s not like i could because we were completely online and i barely set foot in the school building until march/april. PLUS all the applications are asking about leadership stuff and it’s basically a popularity contest to get captain or club president….OH and not to keep ranting but the gpa boost and class rank and people taking online community college courses and cheating on every assignment while other people are taking 5 aps where i have to pass the fucking exam to get credit and we’re both getting 5.0s???? like it’s so much i just need to get out of high school 💀
edit edit: also i never really registered how much me taking aps is costing my parents????? like literally $1000 by the end of this year unless research costs something (which i don’t think it does but still)
I'd like to remind the council that AP's ARE saving money in the long run (along with thosee CCPs). AP test costs $100? THE COLLEGE EQUIVALENT COSTS $3,000. Trust me, you are doing well. Leadership can be as little as seeing a problem and thinking of a way to change it, even if it's not actually fixing the problem. You're doing fine.
@@M.M.Y.B depending on where you go that is. As a Cornell student, not even my 5’s are accepted for credit and even the ones that would be, it was better to take the course because some med schools would not accept AP credit
the issue of cost is so accurate!! i only applied to 5 schools and had waivers for 2 of them. i fantasized about applying to all 8 ivies and several other schools just because i grew up on decision reaction videos. at the end of the day i feel as though i succeeded because i had more time to focus on each application
Its getting ridiculous, I live in a SUPER competitive area and high school and the constant one upping is so deteriorating. I was so obsessed with getting into a good college, I would on watch admission tik toks and would constantly stress about it. To make it worse I have ADHD and its so mentally awful when I can't get the same grades as my peers but I study twice as hard. Its an awful place to be and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I had a girl tell me once she only slept for one hour bc she was studying and I'm like..thats a flex? Honestly, go to a community college an transfer, its so much easier and much less competitive that way.
what i liked about in gilmore girls is the fact that paris didnt get into harvard, i feel like it was realistic, paris was just as hardworking if not more than rory, spent her whole life worrying and stressing about harvard, and then when she didnt get in she had a meltdown
I'm so glad that my high school is part of a college so we are taught how to get into colleges since we are freshmen and gain the experience of college before actually having to go
Proud drop out without any dept here lol
College such a pain, never going through that again
Agreed, college seems to be overally romanticised. In real life, it's not for everyone, and there's no shame if you drop out, or decide not to attend.
What did u major in?? (If u don't mind me asking )
@@Luv4pookie visual arts
I applied to nine colleges, including Harvard, Dartmouth, and Stanford. I didn’t get into any of them (in fact, only one student in my graduating class got into a top-tier school and she was a Stanford Legacy kid), but I got into the other six schools. I actually ended up going to the school that I think was the easiest to get accepted at because they gave me the most scholarship money and the vibes were right. To this day I am still so grateful for my choice, because I felt like I had a much better college experience than I would have if I gone to a place like Harvard. I was able to experience being a young adult without crazy, academic pressure while still getting a really quality education. I came out of school debt-free, and even the friends I knew who were unable to pay out of pocket (a massive privilege)didn’t come out with crazy loans like most private school educations result in. I recognize it’s very dependent on what field you’re interested in going to but for a young person who didn’t really know what she wanted to do with her life, choosing a more affordable school with less rigorous academic standards than an Ivy League was definitely the right choice.
I go to a pretty decent university rn and I’ve never put importance on going to an Ivy League college. Mostly because my parents didn’t go to college at all and I know they’re proud of me no matter what. If the people in your life are any good, they’ll also be proud of you for furthering your education ❤
As a current high school senior, this video hit deep. I've been stressed about college since Middle School and had a lot of pressure from my parents to get good grades so I can go to college, only to find out that it doesn't matter that much and I can't tell my parents that because they're my parents and don't respect me as an equal. I also ended up applying to 14 colleges because my parents decided to just keep adding to my list and they made me complete all of them before October was even over despite many of them only have Regular Decision, which was not due until Dec. 15. The amount of money it costs just to apply is also maddening. I think in general we need to educate people about college younger so there's less unnecessary stress and just make it less money to apply at the very least.
this conversation always reminds me of full house. when i was little, id binge full house on nick at nite (yall remember that?). one episode featured DJ applying for stanford and UC berkeley. she got denied from stanford but got in to UC Berkeley. she was so disappointed about getting into the UC. it was so shocking to me when i learned later on that UC Berkeley is one of the most prestigious schools in the country because of the way that it was portrayed on the show. it seems like private universities are put on a pedestal over even the “best” universities if they are public.
UC Berkeley is not a safety school in any way, shape, or form. Actually nowadays almost all of the UCs are extremely difficult to get into.
Yes! Thank you for talking about this. I am a junior and high school, and I plan on attending a local state school, because I want to be close to home, and save money. College has gotten so expensive- NYU, where Lara Jean goes to school in TATBILB costs $90,000 a year. Even with significant financial aid, that pricetag is unattainable for many families.
One of my favorite teachers this year told a story about how she got accepted into Columbia University, but instead attended one of the schools in our state system due to financial reasons. She's currently completing a doctorate degree, and it really proves that if you are motivated and willing to work hard, you will succeed wherever you go. An Ivy/T10 school is just a label, and more and more people are coming to realize that your personality traits and work ethic are 100x more important than some paper diploma.
Sending good vibes to anyone else dealing with the college pressure! Try not to let all the chatter get to you. College really isn't as big of a deal as it is made out to be, it's only 4-5 years of your life, and it isn't even the right path for everyone!
honestly i was “supposed” to be the first one in my family to go to college but i just felt burned out by the time i got to high school because of the pressure so i just ended up going to cos school and it worked out better for me
honestly sometimes i feel sad that i let the people around me down but i think it just isn’t for me
I go to one of these “elite” schools and the journey to get here was honestly not worth it. While I am very happy with the quality of education I am getting and the environment of the school I go to, the amount of struggles to get there is not a way to live. I did 3 different sports, did volunteer work, took ap classes, took community college classes, had 2 different leadership positions and was working 35 hours a week on top of that. The amount of pressure from literally elementary school and even still to this day is so constraining. In my junior year of high school I literally wanted to unalive myself because I got a B in a class I didn’t have time to study for.
And honestly now that I’m out of high school nothing has changed. I’m still overextending myself and still crumbling from pressure. I don’t sleep consistently, I don’t eat as much as I should, I spend 12 hours a day working and I can’t even afford this college in the first place.
TLDR: Don’t go to an elite school if you don’t have to. Sadly it matters for the field I want to go into… but please do not do it if you don’t have to. My best friends go to state schools and they are learning the same things just from a different mouth and paying $100,000 less
as a current high school senior who is planning to start at community college and then transfer to a local state school, thank you for making this video. i always feel weird or not as good as my peers for choosing a school that isn’t some big name, especially as someone who worked somewhat hard on academics, but it’s really what feels right for me. this video feels very timely haha
The cold, hard truth is that:
1) An accurate portrayal of college is not going to have a sufficient audience to be profitable (on TV and in film especially, but it also holds true in literature to a lesser extent)
2) It's even harder to make the material engaging to watch in college than in high school
3) Even with high school shows, some characters make me feel like they are going to fail if they keep obsessing over relationship drama, and it goes double in college
It's entirely possible some show writers never attended college at all, or attended non-elite colleges whose experience of attending mostly amounts to high school, only with more advanced material.
For these reasons, I loved Liberal Arts more than I did other films about college; even though it's shot at Kenyon (and probably set in Kenyon as well, with all that implies for academics) at least they are focused on academics, and the student characters seem happy to attend a non-elite college (to the extent you could call Kenyon non-elite).
Imagine if Full House and Despatate Housewives did a crossover episoee where Aunt Becky and Lynette Scavo, and a bunch of other rich wine moms, met up to illegaly get there children into college.
Like that'll ever happen....
I was the valedictorian of my high school with a perfect GPA, perfect ACT score, and extracurriculars with leadership positions. I was the only Asian guy in a rural public high school, and everyone expected me to go to an Ivy. I didn’t get into a single Ivy school; in fact, no one in my high school did. I got into a top public university, but instead I decided to go to a decent state school where I was offered a full tuition scholarship. I remember how shocked others were by my decision, but I don’t regret it. The lack of student debt alone has made it all worth it, and I had a ton of fun in college with amazing people. But I can definitely say I felt insecure for a long time about not going to a top school, when all these TV shows and movies made it look so typical and I always expected that was my future. And sometimes I do feel like not going to an elite school locked me out of certain parts of society (prestigious companies, research funding, politics) that I was later only able to enter because of going to an elite graduate school. It’s just a shame that public perception of these top schools holds so much weight, when getting to attend them is so arbitrary.
as a senior applying to college this hit hard omg. application szn was literally the death of me, but waiting for decisions feels so terrible too
finally a video about a topic I have been talking about for years!! I literally have a running gag with my friends where I say “all I want is for a main character to be really excited to get into their state school”
The kissing booth is the most egregious example of this.
Ouch this video is posted on the day I got rejected from Oxford - I rlly love your insights, makes me feel a lot better :)
been waiting on the edge of my seat for a new amanda video honestly she can talk about anything n everything and ill still watch it
we are the same !! my UA-cam has been dry recently
I'm so glad you made this video. I've been watching Good Luck Charlie and I was thinking the same thing. The other trope in media I dislike is that they make it seem like going to jail isn't a big deal.
as someone who is a senior and into her dream school, this is very helpful and timely. love the video!
You have no idea how much this video means to me. As a senior in High School who spent her entire childhood pouring herself into academics and extracurriculars, Applying for Ivy League colleges was so hard because I had no idea what I wanted out of life. Going to a college that wasn’t Ivy felt like I was doing a disservice to my potential and my childhood dreams. It’s extremely validating to see someone else go through the same experience and hearing your thoughts made me feel so much better.
One thing I hate with these college narratives is they make community college sound like nothing.
There are good community colleges out there and at the time I attended one, mine did not ACT and SAT scores. Major plus. I was able to change my major a couple of times while deciding what I wanted to do. It is cheaper than going to a four year.
I did decide to go to a four year school because I fell in love with it during a tour. Don’t forget, some schools require a deposit to hold your place.
Anyways, I was able to finish in 2 years because I was able to transfer my community college credits to the four year.
Honestly, my high school grades weren’t amazing, but colleges focused more of how I succeeded in my community college classes. That experience is what they cared more about.
I do agree that any college should not cost as much as they do. You shouldn’t have to fear being broke just to pay for college.
Yep. If community college is ever mentioned it's like "Oh well I guess you could go to a community college", before the character buckles down to get into a "good" school, or it's where the guy who just got out of prison or something goes. Community colleges can be freaking excellent and they're sooooo cheap. I wish tv and film would stop shitting on them. It's literally classist.
@@glenmorrison8080 agreed.
Shows like gossip girl which started in 2008 also pushed this thing about how every character can get into colleges when all the time on screen there partying there heads off and painting the picture in young people’s minds that you don’t need to work hard and the process is not so stressful and anxious when they show none of the process I can’t believe there still doing this for more than a decade…
I feel like it actually made sense for gossip girl, they were all rich (even dan Humphrey in his poverty loft in Brooklyn). Constance and st Jude’s were top tier private high schools that rich parents sent their privileged children off to specifically to get a leg up when it came to college admissions. a bunch of the parents being legacy’s of these ivys definitely helped as well (Blair and Nate at least). The families in that show had money, power and legacy which is the golden trifecta in the eyes of prestigious ivy leagues. These characters automatically had an advantage unrelated to their merit. At least Blair showed SOME struggle and effort when it came to Yale lol
Gotta agree with @unbakedalaska, since they didn't get in based on grades at all. It was about money and they would definitely have a leg up in that respect. High schools matter too! Specifically the stats of the average test scores coming out of high schools (your school is graded on their average ACT and SAT scores, did you know) and how many of those kids graduate college.
@@M.M.Y.B exactly. What connections you have/“who you know” is another major factor as well. GG’s characters had access to very influential/high level people representing those schools, and even then you had Nate the legacy have an advantage over Dan due to his fathers influence. GG dedicated half of a season to the college admissions process and the politics around it, showcasing how it wasn’t a matter of “can I get into this Ivy League”, it was “I hope I can get into my preferred Ivy League”. I’d say they did a better job showing the “how” and the “why” these characters get into their respective universities better than any other show or wattpad derived movie, where it’s never a topic of discussion until the one special episode or final scene where our rando main character who’s only extracurricular was getting into shenanigans somehow got accepted into Juilliard or (insert Ivy League here). Like how tf did El from the kissing booth get into HARVARD
@@unbakedalaska1301 I will never forget how they pictured NYU? lmao. They made it seem like the worst possible school and cheap compared to Columbia and Yale when they are literally the same price? Looking back it hilarious since NYU is like the most sought after school for international students.
i graduated high school with a over 90 average and got into every university program i applied to (canadian here), only to now be 24 years old and 7 years into my 4 year undergraduate degree only to decide to switch paths now. being 17-18 and planning out your life is truly mind boggling to me in retrospect. i have so much empathy for teenage me who had what felt like the weight of the world on her shoulders.
From a college dropout, I cannot emphasize how college is not always the right choice depending on the life you want/envision for yourself. A degree is a tool at the end of the day and not a reflection of your value!! ♥️
One of the best ways that a TV Show portrayed how competitive and harsh the process of getting into an elite/top university is in Modern Family; Alex's university journey. Alex is consistently shown to be a distressed, hard-working student, and even after all of what she had done and achieved, she was rejected by universities that she wanted to join, and eventually being accepted into Caltech (even then, the way they portray it is as though she barely got to enter the top university world). Alex's journey is why my favorite episode is the one where she makes an appointment with a psychologist, discussing the stress and alienation she feels as a product of her innate character and the decisions she made as she ventures into the competitive world of academia.
As a Scottish guy, your system is BAFFLING. For refernece, university and college are free here. Depending on exacrtly what you want to do and how far you go you Might need to pay, like you aint gettin a doctorate usually, but youll get up to a bachelors and maybe even an honours or masters. And even then you can often get, like, grants? Im trying to translante but you can get someone to fund you taking your course.
Loans are still a thing kinda, nowhere near as bad. Like they’re just for support and cause you aren’t funding tuition, it gives you more freedom and tends to be way lower amounts of debt. Also it gets written off 30 years after you can start paying.
Stop comparing a small western nation with a homogenous demographic to one of if not the most complex country in rhetorical world
1. America does not have free public tuition, because of lobbying and spending money on other things such as military( Scotland doesn’t have to because we police the world for them)
2. American colleges are far more prestigious and require much more funding for the world changing research they do.
3. America is individualistic and much more economically right leaning then Scotland, and has a laissez faire system where we let college tuition spike without passing legislation to combat it.
YESSSS, this video spoke to me on such an insane level. I'm now in the second semester of my sophomore year of college and I think back to my senior year of high school, the perceptions I had of college from the media, and the pressure I felt to go to an elite one. I was valedictorian of my class, took several AP Classes and got 4s and 5s on all of them except for one, was president of three clubs, had pretty decent SAT scores, and I still new that despite pushing myself like crazy to achieve those accomplishments, I was probably not going to be Ivy material. The realization that you didn't just have to be "smart" or "special" but rather "an actual superhuman" to get into these schools hit me hard. I applied to one Ivy as a reach and really had my hopes up for a pretty competitive non-Ivy school (I think they had a 23% acceptance rate or something like that?), as well as eight other schools ranging from like 40-90 % acceptance rates. In the end, I got accepted into the eight safeties, deferred and then accepted into the other competitive school, and rejected from the Ivy. But even though I got accepted to my "dream" school, I literally could not justify taking the loans out to pay the absolutely insane tuition cost. I had spent days and days working on a separate full-tuition scholarship application for that university which I got disqualified from when I got deferred instead of accepted during the Early Action admission season, and so the measly portion of financial aid I received after I got accepted during regular decision wasn't even enough to put a noticeable drop in the bucket. I ended up committing to a different school that did award me a full-tuition scholarship, and even then I was worried that I was disappointing everyone for not following the traditional narrative. I mean, I was valedictorian, how embarrassing was it that I was going to (insert college that has no notoriety in the media)? Now, looking back, I'm so glad I picked the college that I did. I have taken many interesting and challenging classes that have made me a better student and a better person, I have made incredible friends and created wonderful memories with them, and I am genuinely excited to continue my undergrad education there. And, pretty importantly, I did not make a horrible, crippling financial decision that would've put me in debt for who knows how long, and the freedom in knowing that I will be lucky enough to graduate debt-free is the biggest weight off my shoulders. If anyone who is applying for college now is reading this, please know that the prestige of your college does not define your worth, you can be so so happy at a school that many people have never heard of, and please do not throw away every penny you have to go to your "dream school." At the end of the day, it's an institution babe.
6th grade determines which classes you are tracked into. I got tracked into a program for 1/2 of algebra I in 7th grade. I also tested into a University program that covered 4 times as much material in 2 hours a week (Algebra I and II). But not enough people passed the test so they delayed it a year.
The math track is locked in stone. You can't change it.
English was more flexible. None of my friends qualified for AP English. They let us take the test anyways and we all got the max score (all the people I knew who took AP class got the second highest). But we were the first class to take AP exams without taking the class. Not all schools allow/encourage that.
Boosted grades are not common here in public schools. Weighted grades are bad. Because they force you to drop things like orchestra - because a 4.0 is an irrecoverable bad grade. And your ability to get into weighted classes will be impacted potentially by how you are tracked after 6th grade.
/random
The way I was nodding along this entire video agreeing with everything you said bc applying to college here in the U.S. is so stress inducing and for what 😭College was kind of always a given for me because of ✨immigrant family expectations✨but, I actually had to go through the applications process TWICE because the first school I applied and got into was an out-of-state private school that, even after offering a scholarship, was just too expensive for me to keep attending, so I had to withdraw and transfer to an in-state school after just one semester. Granted, the fact that my family was, and still is, going through financial trouble at the time didn't help matters but 🙃even then, higher education in the U.S. is prohibitively expensive from tuition and board fees themselves to just applying to these schools in the first place. Hell, I think this is the first I'm hearing that you actually have to PAY to take the AP exams, which makes me kinda glad that I dropped my AP Bio class when I had the chance because lord knows I could not make my parents pay for that exam fee only to come out the other end having completely bombed the test ✋😭
Also, ain't no way hell either Noah OR Elle got into Harvard of all schools. Noah at least probably just bought his way in via his dad donating a building to the school or smth, but idk what Elle could've possibly done to deserve a Harvard acceptance letter when we NEVER see her study, do extracurriculars, volunteer outside of school, etc. And her personal essay? Absolute A.S.S. No way that should've gotten her anywhere NEAR Harvard ✋😭💀
Fucking thank you for making this. This is something that has been bothering me soooo much for years. I was a total slacker in high school, never even cracked a 2.0 GPA, barely graduated, and then started (as a first gen college student) at a local community college. The education was excellent. I did very well, and later transferred to an affordable, local Cal State for my bachelors, and a just few month back I finished my PhD at a UC. I'm now I'm teaching at a Cal State, and I love my job. I took a highly accessible and affordable route in all my education, and I'm so glad I did it that way, but honestly, it was also the only way I could have done it realistically.
For years I've been watching the judgement of affordable higher ed in tv and film, and getting increasingly annoyed with the false perspective it presents to young people, making them think that higher ed is only valuable if it's some goddamn elite and expensive school. I think about that, and think about all the smart underachievers and financially limited students in high school right now who will never pursue the options that would be available to them because they're under a mistaken impression that those options are worthless, and it makes me furious. And almost nobody notices this toxic bullshit, or calls it out. This video is the clearest discussion of this issue I've seen to date, after having googled it several times over the years (mostly while rewatching Gilmore Girls, haha). Again, thank you for talking about this.
The way Amanda fully and completely fleshed out the feelings of the college process. I just finished and this is a VERY accurate representation🙊
thank you youre awesome
im a senior right now its insane (i was expected to go to an ivy cause why not but finally didn't apply thank god) and its so nice to see a cool big sister youtuber lay it all out like it is :)
I just graduated undergrad spring of last year and as I walked up on stage to receive a diploma, all I could think was "I never want to step foot on this campus ever again." I was told my entire childhood that college was the best years of your life and you should cherish them before they're gone. But college to me was miserable. The bullying was worse than high school, I never fit in anywhere, I was lonely the whole time. Especially my senior year I had a lot of people be outright cruel to me for no reason. A few months after I graduated I had one of the people I considered a "friend" call me out of the blue to tell me everyone in the club we were in hated me (but he refused to elaborate on who or why). It's such a sour note to end a chapter of your life on.
I got into an ivy league masters program. By most people's metrics this is an amazing accomplishment that will take me places in life, but, like, I'm miserable, and I don't want to do MORE college. So far, I don't think there's any significant difference in the quality of education between a state school and an ivy.
Sorry, I haven't actually watched your video but I feel the need to vent about how disappointing my unrealistic expectations are.
Okay I just watched the first part of the video and it's about how media portrays ivies as being easy to get into, so this may not be the best room to talk about my disappointment with the ivies. Despite currently being at an ivy league I know this personally. I was insanely obsessed all throughout high school of getting into most prestigious college possible, to the point where I was having a breakdown senior year. I applied to 15 insanely prestigious colleges and got into 5 of them. But these 5 were still top tier schools like Carnegie Mellon and UVA, but yeah there was definitely this sting of "Oh, I ONLY got into UVA after working so hard." Now that I'm actually at an ivy I realize how overrated they are, and also how much luck there is in the process.
I think the problem is a lot of smaller universities don’t want their names used in media or they want it to seem more prestigious. Like in the to all the boys books, the main collages were UVA, William and Mary and UNC and they were attainable and instate whereas some of them may not want to be mentioned so they updated it to Stanford and Berkeley and NYU because they’re famous and everybody knows them
My sister is really smart, so when she got the colleges she was accepted to, she was mainly choosing between U of C and U of V (American university), but due to a huge scholarship, even though she preferred U of V, it just wasn't feasible, whereas U of C was equivalent to UK university tuition (where we live). She wasn't sure if she wanted to peruse further education, and with the costs of U of V, that option would pretty much be cut off. In the end, she went to U of C, and because A levels are pretty much equivalent to a first year of university, she took 2nd year classes and was in the honours society. She didn't get accepted to universitys like Berkeley, she didn't get even a small scholarship to U of V. Basically, she had a great experience and learnt so much despite it not being Browns or Harvard, and it was certainly way cheaper than either. The idea that certain universitys will give you a poor education, and if you just work hard enough you can get accepted to an ivy is utterly ridiculous, not even considering the fiscal side of things, which are especially bad in America.
I’m a senior this year and wouldn’t wish the college application process on my worst enemy. It is actually stress hell. I got into my top choice school (not an Ivy) and they didn’t give me enough financial aid so I had to appeal and I’m still waiting to hear back. Meanwhile I’m trying to decide if I want to apply to a couple more schools before their deadlines or if I’m wasting money on the applications because my appeal could be approved. I literally hate this process so much and it’s the most stressed I’ve ever been in my life.
try applying for scholarships if you can, I don't think there's a cap on how many scholarships you can apply for
the college search process is absolute BS. everyone I know who went to an Ivy league school was either absolutely miserable or absolutely miserable to be around.
Watching these shows as a kid made college seem so easy and convinced me that I’d get into whatever college I wanted. This past year or so being a senior watching Disney shows or teen movies just makes me sad or stressed because I’m not achieving what looked so simple on screen. This video really helped put this into perspective, as my first choice college answers come out this Friday, wish me luck ig! 😂
Beyond that, as a professor, an even bigger thing is that colleges are depicted as only R1s, and sanitized versions of them at that. SLACs, state regionals, and community colleges may as well not exist as far as they are concerned.
You summed up the college app process perfectly. Especially as a first gen it was all a shot in the dark
I remember being the only kid in elementary school who was freaked out about college. All my friends had to stop me from panic attacks. At 8. Because my mother said i had to go to college. I was harshly aware of college at the age of 8. My mom was in college while i was in first grade. I saw it the effect it had on me and thought “Nope” but my mother said, “no you are going to college, I don’t care how broke we are you have to go.” I don’t want to go, but i can see the benefits of it, so i have to. And I’m also staying in state, because as smart as I am, everyone has told me am i too broke, and too dumb to go outside of college. Y’all help.
I have 2 more years, and i am stressed.😅
OH I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE BROUGHT THIS UP
this video is so true! as a student currently in community college and planning to transfer to a public state school, television and the media makes me feel so insecure for not going to a big fancy notable school.
I've had a pretty similar experience to you. I always knew I would go to college and I set my sights on the University of Michigan, a public ivy, because that's where much of my family went and I grew up rooting for the sports teams and visiting the campus for games. I hear back from them in a few weeks and I'm terrified because if I don't get in I don't know what I'm going to do with myself since I've had this dream since childhood. I've pushed myself to get As in every classes and take countless AP classes and pass all of them, starting with APUSH in freshman year. I even skipped a year of English and have been a year ahead in that since 7th grade. I was also told middle school grades matter and pushed myself to get As on every class and even on every exam, which I thought mattered to. I would cry endlessly over a single A-. I pushed myself to the point of depression over and over again. I have horrible anxiety now and procrastinate going to sleep because I know I have school the next morning, eventually crying myself to sleep basically every night. And I also didn't focus enough on extracurriculars, so despite my high SAT and 4.2 GPA, there's a huge chance I don't get into any schools besides my safety schools. I also have no passions or interests because I've just been spending my entire life stressing and working my ass off so I'm extremely burnt out and don't enjoy anything anymore. And I also still have no idea where I want to go to college either. I basically picked random schools to apply to because I don't know what I want and like you said it was a lot to choose from. But idk how I'll decide on a school. I want to be close to family, but I also want to see a new place. I want to go somewhere reputable, but I also know I could get better scholarships at smaller schools.
TV shows make it all look so easy. The main character chooses a prestigious school and applies to no safeties, gets in effortlessly without being smart, working hard, or doing extracurriculars, and visits the campus and immediately feels at home and knows what they want.
Honestly I relate to you so many levels. I also applied randomly and when my friends talk about where they want to go I get all nervous because I did not put too much thought into it. I don't really mean to excuse my mistakes but it was so hard balancing completing my assignments, attending to my needs, AND learning more about colleges and what they can offer. I also got support from a program I'm in but I feel like I wasted their resources. I sometimes feel unworthy of being part of their program, like someone else would've made good use of their services. We are in similar boats but I just want to say that you should talk to the adults in your life (parents, guidance counselors, etc) because they can offer you comfort and to help you decide what school is best for you. Regarding the media making college application process look easy, they definitely do. It is a lot of work and a big decision but they never show that. They only show the "good parts" where the protagonsts gets accepted and not the part where they spend hours researching schools, studying for exams, and all the anxiety they feel throughout. Please know that you are not alone (cliche, I know) and that there are people who can help you. I really hope that you are happy regardless if you get into University of Michigan.
@@esmesa5642 thank you so much for this comment! I hope you're happy wherever you end up, too.
@@so_obsessed_ thank you!
Ive always been low income so from the age of 5 on I was like "I know I wont go to college" I did end up going to a trade school but am now too disabled to work lol. I was always under the impression that college stuff didnt matter too much and it really depends on a lot of things. I figured maybe I'd just work a minimum wage job, and just barley survive paycheck to paycheck. Its what I know best so thats how I live my life now lol. If I had the right support and stuff from a young age I might have gone to college and done something bigger amd better, but we're all going to hell in a handbasket and the planet is dying so idk college never seemed like a big deal. I was more worried about things like quicksand and polar bears.
Imagine for us international students from developing countries… undervalued money so everything costs actually 5x more, plus having to do an English proficiency test which also costs money, plus paying for the translation of transcripts. Not to mention our tuition will always be out-of-state. It is tough indeed…
15:00 it also cost money to apply for applications to private institutions. Depending on your families income, you may also have to pay for local public university. That’s if they make enough in a higher tax bracket but that’s not very common. Pay for a travel board and board even before you even get there, etc.
I'm kinda glad that my parents limited me to my in state schools due to the limitations of the 529 account; it really narrowed it down and prevented me from getting decision paralysis. Plus, I was "lucky" enough that my state didn't contain any Ivy's but had amazing and diverse choices for state schools.
Thank you for sharing light on a topic no one really talks about. Why do we know picking an ivy league school or runner up to the list is a sound choice even through most Americans could not find their location on a map or pay the tuition? The truth is these schools are getting free advertisement from Hollywood to condition potential students to believe they are the school to attend. In reality there are schools that are cheaper, have more resources, and closer to them. Love how you brought up the cost.
Yes! Finally someone is talking about this
Hearing abt this whole process in detail makes me so glad that i live in australia :') for a normal degree you have to get an ATAR (overall school percentile, so like an ATAR of 80 means you did better than 80% of people in terms of highschool results) so basically the vast majority of degrees set very accessible boundaries for someone with standard results-it's really just one school in my state that has genuinely high barriers for normal (BA, BSci) degrees. obv med and fine arts and stuff are much higher barriers and you might need a portfolio or interview or whatever but yeah. i love australia. no burning out over extracurriculars so instead you're encouraged to do them bc it genuinely feels manageable is really nice. and you only are forced to do English + prerequesites for your degree (eg for science u have to take a science and a certain maths class), which means you can be heading into like,,, engineering and still have space to take art, and you just have to pass those engineeringy classes and can get full marks in art and just . yeah i love australia.
On middle school grades, I remember several teachers pushing the idea that our grades would make or break our high school track. And then if you failed to start well in high school, college would never work out for you. But then you get to high school, and (for California state schools), they don't even care about your freshman and senior grades. Everything came down to two years of your life. Meaning that having one failure or B+ stands out a lot more when there are only 24 grades to look at. So when everyone seems to be getting only A's , one small slip feels like the end.
I had a piano recital the day before I took the SAT and my brain was so fried from all the getting into college stress that I sat down on the piano bench and completely forgot how to play the piano. I stood up, said sorry, and left.
I could actually listen to just an hour of you talking about college
I go to a private college currently, which happens to be the only school I applied to, but the acceptance rate was super high. I went to community college first and I was lucky enough that all my credits transferred. The college I chose was based on how close it was to my fiancé's family, the acceptance rate, and it wasn't going to make me broke while giving me the education I wanted. I was homeschooled my whole life so they definitely didn't look at my middle school grades since I had no grades at all and never took SATs or whatever, but I did have grades from going to community college.
I wanted to go to college across the country, however, I was denied from my first choice (dream college) and second choice (backup). My dream college had less than 30% acceptance rate, and I knew I was going to get rejected, however, receiving the rejection letter was still super upsetting for me. I ended up going to college in state and I kind of hated it at first, however, after a while, I learned to like it. I plan on going abroad for grad school in a year.
I was a co-valedictorian of a very highly-ranked public charter school but only applied to one university - the one that I lived 20 minutes away from. I am now about to graduate college and am looking at graduate schools for the 2025-2026 year. I absolutely do not regret my decision to go to a place where I did not have to pay any tuition and still had wonderful academic and social opportunities, but I also don't have the college application experience most of my peers do, which makes the grad school application process seem more foreign to me than it would have otherwise.
Thank you so much❤
College was presented to me by media too. And because I knew at an early age what I wanted to do for a career, I looked into colleges for it immediately and had a dream school (I wasn't even in middle school yet). Thankfully I figured out the whole middle school grades don't matter thing early on so my good grades and extracurriculars were because I wanted too. I moved right before freshman year too, which made me depressed and destroyed the excitement I had about going to college (I dreaded it). Anyway, the college process sucks, and I had to do it twice once I chose to take a gap year. It'd be nice if shows with senior characters actually presented the college process accurately, AND showed characters choosing to go to non elite colleges.
Ivy is a symptom of toxic exceptionalism in Amerca. A smart student can go to top universities in Germany/Switzerland with 0 tuition fee or extremely low.
Also open admission is a thing here, if you have the right highschool diploma there are a lot of programs where you're just automatically in if you apply, this doesn't work for high cost and/or high demand programs like medicine or psychology, but you can totally study law or engineering, the hard part is finishing the degree.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one! It annoys me when a TV or movie character just nonchalantly applies to a prestigious school and then just gets accepted. We don’t see them working hard, studying, or any of that whatsoever! They’re just worried about their love lives. I remember working so hard in high school, so seeing characters just get in without even trying really irritated me.
For transparency, I did end up going to and graduating from an Ivy League, but I don’t think I learned all that much academically speaking. The faculty were not approachable and you could tell they didn’t like it when you asked questions. Some students were so competitive that they did not want to work together in fear that we would score better than them. It truly was the lowest point in my entire life. I spent so many years thinking this was the end goal that I didn’t really know what to do once I got there, let alone after.
One thing I do have to say that wasn’t said in this video, financial aid is a thing and as someone who lived half her childhood in poverty, the only reason I was able to attend that school was because of financial aid, so do fill out FASFA! Anyway, since I don’t come from a wealthy background, I just remembered feeling so isolated because I was mostly surrounded by super rich people who were so out of touch with reality. I’ve met students who were flabbergasted that not all families could “simply donate” half a million dollars to the school, it was ridiculous! So the fact that so many shows and movies glorify going to these top schools kind of disturbs me.
That being said, I felt like going to that Ivy League university did help me become a better person and I did eventually make some good friends, so I don’t completely regret it. However, I don’t think that it’s healthy for people to put these schools on a pedestal without showing all the hard work and privilege needed to get accepted and to attend and/or showing how it’s actually like in one you get in to those schools. That’s why, to some extent, I do appreciate Never Have I Ever showing a lot of the academic and extra curricular stuff, but the fact that Devi was so dead set on having to attend an Ivy really rubbed me the wrong way because good schools does not guarantee that you’ll get a good education. Honestly, going to these prestigious schools are mainly for networking to successful alumni and professors (don’t get me wrong, those are important, but it’s not everything).
I am now in graduate school at a university that is not at all prestigious, but I think I have learned way more now than I ever did in undergrad. The faculty are more approachable and are happy to help their students, people in general here are friendlier, and no one expects my family to donate half a million dollars lol 😅. I know this was kind of long, but hopefully someone would find my experience somewhat helpful. Cheers!
I got into Notre dame, but it was the most stressed out I have ever been, because I knew that decisions are very spontaneous
That pressure is so real tho! As a current senior, I can finally say i have finished the college application process. I didnt apply to any Ivies since most didnt have the program i wanted (funny enough, i remember Yale being my drea school in middle school) and as someone i think has stats which are off the charts, there was the expectation of "omg what." My highest ranked school that i actually care about is NYU. 💀😭 I think however, it was for the best. That pressure slowly dissipated when i got more realistic and I love my state university, just earned a full ride too!
Aka, pressure will chill. Ur chill, the college system in media is so toxic but we ball ❤
Thank you !
i graduated high school early and also during covid so i kinda didn’t put TOO much thought into where i wanted to go to college, especially cause i always thought i’d transfer somewhere else. so basically i just picked the local university in my town where my boyfriend at the time went (GUYS PLEASE DONT DO THIS) i also commuted my first year cause i was only 17 (also don’t recommend this 😭) ANYWAYS so i felt like i was kinda missing out on that college experience but i was saving a lot of money which i put into going abroad for my sophomore year (this i WOULD RECOMMEND, best experience of my life!) now i’m in my junior year of college and still at the same university kinda figuring out what i wanna do, but i definitely feel the FOMO of comparing myself to my friends who go to ivy leagues or even just like bigger state colleges just cause they seem like they have more fun and more opportunities, but is that really worth paying more money? as they say the grass is always greener