Ways to Deal With Someone Who Hurt You Deeply (broke your trust)
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- Опубліковано 31 тра 2024
- Being hurt by someone you trust and love can be incredibly painful. In this video, we explore how to deal with such situations and provide practical advice on how to trust again. We'll discuss steps to repair broken trust and rebuild trust in a relationship after infidelity or other forms of betrayal. Whether it's a romantic relationship or a close friendship, dealing with trust issues can be challenging. Our tips and advice will help you navigate these difficult emotions and find a path toward healing and reconciliation.
Join us as we tackle the complexities of trust, love, and betrayal in relationships and friendships. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more insights on how to trust and maintain healthy relationships!
#relationship #love #trust
Writer: Lightoflights
Script Editor & Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Kathleen (new animator)
UA-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
References
Gómez, J. M., Lewis, J. K., Noll, L. K., Smidt, A. M., & Birrell, P. J. (2015). Shifting the focus: Nonpathologizing approaches to healing from betrayal trauma through an emphasis on relational care. Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 17(2), 165-185. doi.org/10.1080/15299732.2016.1103104
Being Hurt by Someone You Love: 25 Tips to Recover. (2023, May 30). Marriage Advice - Expert Marriage Tips & Advice. www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/being-hurt-by-someone-you-love/
VanOyen Witvliet, C., Ludwig, T. E., & Vander Laan, K. L. (2001). Granting forgiveness or harboring grudges: implications for emotion, physiology, and health. Psychological science, 12(2), 117-123. doi.org/10.1111/1467-9280.00320
This was a requested topic from the comment section. Hope this video could help those are in hurt by someone they trust and love. Comment below if you have any topic requests!
How to survive in a world of social media plus fear mongering and/or the underlying causes of the generation crisis. Idk if that would be appropriate or not.
How to deal with burnout
@@A55a551n We have one burn out video! Try to watch out to see if it helps you 7 Signs You're Emotionally BURN OUT ua-cam.com/video/HLBKK5rcNaA/v-deo.html
@@Psych2go thank you
i got hurt a lot as a kid from bad luck
Timestamp!
-0:22 Acknowledge your emotions
-0:46 Put things in perspective
-1:12 Set clear boundaries
-1:28 Practice self-compassion
-2:15 Letting go & forgiving
-3:11 Find meaning in the experience
-4:08 Focus on healing
-4:28 Seek support
-5:12 Focus on the positive
Bravo 👍
Accept the situation
Acknowledge the emotions
Bitterness anger lack of self-control and pride
The love and the hurt are a package deal. I can't stand the hurt but I don't want to live without the love.
Same here and I completely agree with this
It isn't love if it's also causing you harm😕
Ehh im fine without love. You dont really need love to survive in this world.
If it comes in a package you can surely know it's the wrong partner. Such a statement seems more like a excuse.
@@anderstermansen130 I'm also a lone wolf. Once you learn to love yourself you don't need other ppl. Just need money🤑.
Communication is very important. Explain how it made you feel. Set boundaries. Boundaries are an act of love for yourself and others.
You helped me more than you know. Thank you. Peace and love all
Sometimes, setting boundaries is the most loving thing you can do. Most people don't really want to hurt you, so don't let them.
Nah, just dump the partner the second boundaries was, even unintentionally and unbeknownst, crossed. Why bother use the genius invention just south of the nose, called a "mouth" to speak up about whats wrong, when dumping and ghosting is not only more efficient, but also way more hurting?
What when they don't want to communicate? Instead they hide or deem you unworthy of their apology?
Yeah
Time heals nothing. Doing the work and giving yourself grace as you go does. Forgiveness starts with you so forgive yourself. I’m learning how to avoid reopening the wound by eliminating or limiting contact to the betrayer.
I'm not going to forgive without an apology, but I will let go. Some things can't be forgiven.
Really needed to see this because I'm constantly hurt by others that I thought I could trust.
Unfortunately, my own mother is one of those... trying to explain how I feel or setting clear boundaries only causes her to raise hell. And so much in my life went wrong that I'm stuck with it...
When our mothers betray us, it's especially difficult to learn how to set clear boundaries. It's worth the effort, though. I just tell myself, "how people feel about my boundaries is none of my business".
@HopefulTribe it's a lot easier to do when you're jot forced to live with it though.
@@mitchellbarton7915 So true!!! Sending you so many virtual hugs. 🤗🤗🤗
Thanks for the video. Just came on the right time.
My avoidant BF just shut me off his life and suddenly broke up with me through txt.
I tried to be there for him, help him, and I wanted to work with him.
But he decided that it's better off we end things.
I'm hurt. I'm still in pain and crying almost everyday.
But I'm working on myself.
I blocked him on socials. It's been 3 days of no contact. It's still hard for me, but I know eventually things will turn up again.
"When a man learns to love, he must bear the risk of hatred"
Damn man
The ghost of the Uchiha
real asf
Can you elaborate further please
@@chrisherber1635 when you love someone you naturally want to get closer to them, if they don't like this attention from you, they could start to not like you and eventually even hate you
I’ve been hurt by a lot of people already this year, and it stings. I’m one of those people who takes a long time to get over hurt.
What helps me is writing in my “rant journal” a journal I use to write down thoughts I’d rather not say out loud. It’s very therapeutic.
Now that I'm happily married to the love of my life, I see clearly how all of my painful, less successful relationships brought me here. I also appreciate her so much! I grew up in a less than nurturing environment, so it took me years to learn what I wanted and needed in relationships.
Happy for you! ❤
All praise be to God.
That's my dream to have a supportive partner
@@muskansiddikee2171 I wish this to you! 🤗
Congratulations to you!! Best wishes & God bless your union!
@@norapeace6526 ❤️❤️
I don't know what I would have done if i never found this channel. Literally almost every video deals with something I'm dealing with or have worried about. Thank you for all your help with pulling me out of the abyss.
Ikr lol
"It's not my fault is being too trusting". It is phrase, which exactly images about experience of my last relationship. Thanks for video.
The timing of this video couldn't have been more perfect!
I am currently going through my healing process and understanding that I'm taking all the steps as of the past couple of weeks means I'm on the right track.
I hope nothing but the best for the rest of you on your healing journey. It's tough now, but it gets easier.
Please do more "how to heal" type of videos. I need them the most. Please and thank you so much for your time and your efforts ❤️
I unintentionally hurt someone very dear to me and have no idea how I can ever restore their trust in me,, this person means the world to me and I can't bare to lose them
It's OK to feel our emotions, that's what makes us human. If we try not to, they will still end up affecting us in one way or another. And when someone is hurtful to us, there is always someone there who can be kind to us when we need it the most - ourselves.
This is a sentiment that should resonate with every generation even dating back to ancient times.
No, it is absolutely not okay to feel, let alone acknowledge your own feelings. Keep a stone cold facade at all times.
Our own feelings is the most foul weapon of mass destruction, to be used against us. It can and will happen, unless you do not show feelings.
And i mean *any* feelings.
@@anderstermansen130 If you're at your job,I can get why you would feel necessary to put a facade to focus on your work,but if you're in need and with friends you should ask for help,you have more chances developing (C)PTSD if you contain your emotions and avoid thinking about a trauma for instance
Healing from the worst heartbreak and betrayal of trust in my life. 4 years in....and still not totally healed. I think it wiil be a wound forever.😢
Thats cute, only four years😂 try nine, pal😂
Hey it's all gonna be alright..❤️🩹🫂 I can totally understand what you're going through, I myself had a nasty heartbreak to and it's been exactly 3 years in for me rn and things still aren't back to normal that pain can be very hard to erase along with the spiral it brings but jus remember you are much stronger than the person who caused you that pain 💪🏾 and ur worthy of love and respect 🙏🏾🩹 I wish u nothing but the best on ur journey
@@anderstermansen130 genuinely hope ur okay man, I understand
The cycle can be hell a hard to cope with but it's never too late to break it and consider something new and fresh, plus 9 years? don't let somebody or anybody in general have your poor heart in a bunch like that, You are worthy of love, trust and life to my guy 🥺
I'm right there with you!! It's been 3 years for me, and while the pain is much less, I'm forever altered. Like a party of my being is dead and gone. I hope you and I both heal so much more thoroughly than we could have imagined! ❤
Thank you for this enlightening video! The concept of 'hurt people hurt people' really helped put things into perspective for me.
It's easy for me :
1. The past is the past
2. Keep a low profile and get on with the lives
Good timing. I've been trying for close to a year to get over really close friends who betrayed me, turned their backs on me, and just made me feel like I was a sub-human piece of garbage incapable of being tolerated, let alone liked or loved...
Thank you for making this video. Me personally, I have hurt my best friend unintentionally, and have been hurt by them too. (Unfortunately, I have hurt them more than they have hurt me) Each time it happened, we felt really bad for what we did to the other, but we both decided to forgive and heal in the end. I know she has past issues and traumas that she still hasn’t healed from, and she knows that I have my own issues too. The only thing I’m happy about is that I have never made the exact same mistake more than once, and I am improving each day. She also strives for self improvement, that’s how know that we’ll always be friends 🌌
Good to hear Amanda more often again.
And yes, we need to understand that nothing lasts forever when it comes to others and we'll have to spend the rest of our lives with ourselves first and most.
Going through this right now. I don't understand why I have to be understanding to the person who hurt me, but they have nothing for me. I know I will never receive apology from the ones who hurt me. I suppose one more cut on top of the rest that needs to be healed.
I think more than understanding the person that hurt you some people think It matters to understand why some things happened to process them and focusing on hatred to heal is not healthy
Thank you for making this video for us who don't know who or how to ask for help.
Thank you
Hope this video helps you! Let us know how we can help you
After having to leave the most toxic and abusive “friendship”, the found family I once had I ruined because I lashed out so hard. I have not healed from my wounds that I ended up inflicting those wounds unto people who cared for me deeply and loved me. I wish I can go back in time to fix it. But there are some things I cannot fix. I’m still a work in progress, but I’m aware of my emotions. I’m in a much better place
"Don't fixate" dude they HAUNT me. My old friends live inside my head for the rest of my life
In church today, it was about obeying what God says, and not holding on to the pain because it feels familiar. We have to let go and forgive but its so hard for me as I’m seeing this person walk by during the sermon 😵💫
this video really sounds like something i need at the moment. i recently broke up with my gf (on good terms), and i haven’t been able to lose feelings for them, and while i’m trying to heal and act normal around them, they are essentially trying to hurt me by ignoring and being insensitive to my feelings, i really hope this helps, bc this person and i are in the same class, i legit sit right behind this person, every class i go to, she goes to those same classes, etc.
You guys, thank you so much for this video it helped me process some feelings inside me and realize important things, lately i had plenty family fights and it was rough and they hurt me so i was avoidant and bitter and shut down for a while. You came just in time. You're amazing. ❤❤ Keep doing what you do.
I watch these every time I get a notification. I love these videos!
This is one of the hardest things to achieve! But it is possible as you stated! Thanks again for the inspiration! Be kind and take care!
I need this today, thank you
Again this was insightful ❤ I’m currently on my healing journey
I wish him all the best, and even if we don’t speak again, I hope he finds happiness
Thank you for this video ❤
I needed this more than I realized
I NEEDED THIS SO MUCH!!! THANK YOU ❤✨
You're very welcome! Glad to hear this video come out at the right timing for you!
Thank you for this
Perfect video thankyou physice❤️😊
I’ll need to save this. I need to talk with some family members about this now. Thanks for the vid!
Ty for the video
Two months ago, I was watching videos about love and happiness and now I keep watching videos of how to heal your broken heart.Stupid life
What about when they cross the line and don’t have an ounce of remorse for it ? Falsifying evidence to ruin someone’s life should never be forgiven.
I think you may just be reading my mind, I’ve lost four friends last weekend just because I told them how I felt, they all got mad at me, they told me how to off myself and how to hurt myself, talked crap abt me and more, I had to leave them because they wouldn’t stop purposely trying to hurt me
If they really treated you like that, then they don't deserve you. True friends are rare and hard to come by, but they're better than any amount of fake friends
@@laraduff4949 thank you 🫶
True friends will alway support you but fake friends will go against you so the divine showed you their true colours then removed them...
Cut off toxic friends! This is one clear example.
Who knew I’d need this
Thank you!
Letting go & Forgiving 👍
How about if you're still with the person who hurt you but has shown change and remorse yet I have trauma triggers few years later😢...that's where I'm at ❤
Thanks ❤❤❤😊
thanks, just when i need it
My ex broke up with me 3 years ago. I thought i would be over it by now. Yet here i am finding myself still thinking of him time to time and feeling very hurt and betrayed. I want to move on and forgive him mentally. But part of me still has some delusion that we could get back together some day. We haven’t talked in 3 years. Idk how these delusions stay alive in me. I feel scared to trust my judgment anymore because i was so blind to the obvious. I made myself vulnerable and now i feel too afraid to ever be vulnerable like that again. Thanks for reading this. I truly feel lonely and hurt.
Thank you for your help❤.
I needed this today. My daughter hurt me again two days ago. She wrote a group message to the family stating, in a very passive way, that she wants nothing to do with me or her dad and if anyone in the family has anything to do with her dad or myself then she needs to go over her boundaries with them in order to keep a relationship with her. I have no idea why she wants to have nothing to do with us. No, we weren't perfect parents. But who is? We always did our best and have been there when they needed us. It breaks my heart every time she does this! Thank you for this video today!
Well, To be very honest, Just abandon that love which hurt you! Better be single! At the end of life none of 'em is gonna help your soul in your afterlife. Be single and stronger. Emotions, love is always for weak people. Do somethings such
as plant more greeneries, free cages of animals(e.g. birds), Give money to needy ones, talk to people who are in distress etc which add more moral values in other's life and obviously in your life. Just improve yourself until death and distribute happiness around your surroundings. Make someone smile! That's life! To be happy and make others happy especially with whom we're dealing with! That's all!
This is really helpful...even though it makes me want to bust out in tears...
🫂
You probably have little idea how relevant and timely that was for me but still. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
It's tougher for me than just "it's a toxic person" because with me they were not. I was indeed too trusting, and kind of trauma-dumped about one stressful event that shook me to the core, hoping to get the support I needed the most. The person didn't want to hurt me with their reaction. I just subconsciously wanted to hear the opposite to what they end up saying in my critical moment. And something within me broke. I know they meant no harm and said it because they cared for me, I know it with my mind clearly. Yet, my heart couldn't help but break, feeling betrayed.
I feel like our relationship, once closer than ever, are never to be the same. It feels like we started right from the beginning. It happened a month ago but I still feel like I'm healing, and it's a long way.
It was definitely tougher at the start. I thought everything was over between us, everything about that person made me sick. But it's slowly getting better... or I hope so.
I simply want to smile again at the sole thought of them existing.
I took my alone time to recover but now it feels like I need to initiate our conversations, almost forcefully, for us to get used to each other again - or at least for me. To know each other again, as if we met not 4 years ago but last week. This sounds so silly yet feels exactly like that. I've never had anything like this before. And it's devastating. As if someone straight up erased a bunch of save-files of our relationship.
They apologised wholeheartedly, not once, but it feels like the thing that broke within me after that betrayal couldn't be repaired with "sorrys". I just... wish that one day I'll feel the same warmth that I felt a month ago towards them. That there'll be no bitter feeling of betrayal, or guilt. And I hope that this isn't the end - that it's not broken for good because of one unfortunate event where I simply couldn't get the exact support I truly needed, and couldn't articulate at the time what I actually wanted to hear.
I hope time will heal, and that it won't be too late for us two. Because our relationship were of one I cherished with my whole heart and soul, and I think it was mutual.
One day we'll smile to each other the same way we used to, even though I won't be able to be as open anymore - to not be hurt the similar way on accident again.
Despite the betrayal and bitterness - I still love them with all my heart. And I hope this is still, somehow... repairable.
Thank you for this video.
Hey I currently live through something similar like you. But from the opposite site. My girlfriend lost her mother recently and I tried to console her as best as I could but I just could not really help her with her grief and noticed her distancing herself from me. Now we are still together but moved into separate apartments and I feel hopeless and unloved by her at times. I think she might feel just like you but it’s tough to give her the needed space and trust that she needs right now. This might not help you at all but I felt like sharing this with you
@@profit3451 thank you for sharing ❤️ It's hard for me to imagine exactly what the other person feels but it's definitely not easy for them as well. Even despite being close, we're all still different people, so it's impossible to predict what the other person needs with 100% accuracy, especially in situations we've never encountered before. I truly hope everything will work out between you two, even if it takes time.
Not to be the one giving out unneeded advice (especially since I myself have things to repair yet), but I hope you talked or will talk this through. Silence is poisoning for both, I feel like. And even though for me the talking hadn't returned everything to what it used to be, it helped me express myself clearly, and be sure the other person knows how I felt at that moment, so they know what I needed and why it hurt. So I wouldn't simply distance away in silence. Although it did took some time for me to actually formulate the reason and my feelings about that situation to tell about them.
Now I slowly try to message that person from time to time on general topics we used to talk on a lot (like videogames), even if it feels strange and a little uncomfortable - to kind of get used to them again. Talking without touching any deep topics like my emotions (about that situation and diving deep overall). It truly feels like the start of our relationship, where we still hadn't shared every single thing about ourselves with open hearts because we barely knew each other then. ...Gah, and it hurts even now.
I just hope it'll, even if slowly, work out. Even if it's never going to be the exact same. Because I know the other person didn't do wrong or evil on purpose - they tried to help. They simply couldn't read my heart the way it needed the most because of feeling things so much more different from me. And at that moment my heart was too vulnerable to brush this off like a little misunderstanding.
Again, I wish you both finding understanding, and means to build the trust and closeness again.
Love your channel! This is wonderful advice and guidance, but i can't get into this one. My sister way overstepped my boundaries! Still dose. I won't ever forgive her. This, I will never forgive and forget. I've searched inside myself and just can't overlook it. Not when she keeps doing it. I know it's stressful to me, but that's the way it is.
Journaling is one of the best way to heal. I journal, hike, and lead beach cleanup where I live 😊❤.
Yay she back
I need to know what to do when YOU hurt someone. I have a friend that I loved but she always treated me like a friend. We know each other since we were child. One day I offended her. That was the last day we have met. It was a year ago and I still love her.
😒 I had to let a few family members go! 💔
One of the best decisions I ever made.😊
I needed this i am Always scared that my friends will go because i never had any friends exept them...
I can just say that healthy love accepts you & your boundaries, while toxic love will put all the blame on you, not trying to empathise but fight you instead. Iam happy not being in a rollercoaster anymore as I deserve a safe ride.
Iam optimistic everything will unfold before me.
“hurt people hurt people” is sth I’ve experienced first hand from a love situation and I cannot emphasise how important it is to heal first before wanting to be in a relationship again. Luckily, Iam not this type.
The older I get the more I appreciate healthy relationships in every way 🙂 and luckily, I was always like this.
Idk it depends on the situation I guess? My boyfriend has a disregard for my health and breaks my trust sometimes, then turns around and says "Well sounds like a you problem." I am definitely seeking revenge one way or another. No matter how long it takes. I can't leave now, but one day I will. I'm just biding my time and trying to keep the peace until that day comes. I was much happier without him and I look forward to the day I gain my independence back.
Thanks I found this very helpful....
Can you please make a video on how to be happy when your alone.
Or how to practise self love and care?
Ty
I kove this channel❤💙🙏🏻🙏🏻
Im trying to heal from someone who decided to use me for years. I haven't been talking to that person in a year plus more. It sucks dealing with it but day by day slowly getting better with acceptance of what happened
Few days ago I left a group of friends because the girl I was really interested in went with one of my ex friends. He knew how I felt about her but decided to be with her anyway. I trusted him and he betrayed me in a way I could not mentally handle. They proceeded to hide the relationship from me for awhile and didn’t even disclose it; the girl knew how I felt about her (I full on confessed to her but she wanted to enjoy her independence). I had a mental snap from it and I couldn’t breathe or think straight anymore. Also before all of that i was getting over another betrayal from a friend I trusted. All I ever wanted was to be loved but I’m starting to feel I’m not worth even that. I’ve always put my needs before others but the moment i wanted to fulfill my needs apparently it’s a crime. It’s hard to function right now while I’m working and I’m inching closer to self deleting. I lost my only friend group and now I’m more alone than I’ve ever been.
Early!just got the notif and clicked right away!
Thanks for joining us early! Let us know what you think later!
@@Psych2go "letting go and forgiving" this tip might be the thing I needed to hear,I'm dealing with emotional attachment on mg quadro and they just replace me with someone who the just met.
Anyways I think this is such a helpful video for someone like me who have attachment issue and those who trust to much.
love the video and your channel, keep it up. small note: video title might be wrong (Deal instead of Heal).
Don't just settle for breads crumbs, demand the whole frickin' loaf!!!
Miss.... My toxic friend leave me😢she said she was just fooling with me and my feeling😢😢😢😢😢😢 she said she got pay doing it😢😢😢😢😢😢😢💔💔💔what a coincidence I am glad I found this video
Great time to reccomend after last month my 3 year friendship was ruined to her having the knife in my back
First, and I loved it it’s amazing your videos are always so good I cannot
Thanks for your love and support!
Wow 😮
Mine is a little different because no communication could save it; what he went to prison for absolutely broke any trust, any ability for us going forward so in that sense there's no way I can put into perspective what he did because what he did physically hurt someone and emotionally broke his family nor can I forgive - that's between him and his god.
But several of these are good advice especially acknowledging emotions and I say this as someone who spent the first two years numbing myself so when I did finally let that guard down.. it wasn't pretty. Sometimes forgiving is more about forgiving yourself for not seeing who they were and slowly I'm recognising that and healing little by little.
*BTW the music in this was BEAUTIFUL 🥰
We both hurt each other deeply...and yet we still talk and talkand it hurts because deep down I love them and they love me but there is a wall now
All for love made think about happened see true i can stand for hurt and live
Don't settle for bread crumbs, demand the whole loaf as thats what your worthy of!
For me it's impossible mission because i love them so much
This is my past 6 months 💖💖
a lot of people in my life betrayed me, but im slowly getting over every single case. in 2024, im letting go. i dont want to continue the cycle of abuse.
Only if this came 3 years earlier
I'm in the process of dealing with this right now. My father is emotionally, and sometimes physically, abusive. And my family are hurt by me venting out to the therapist, despite us dealing with him lashing out in anger for almost 2 decades at this point. And Mom, who used to be the shield I hide behind, kinda unintentionally enables him by saying he's changed and it's better, just because the outbursts and episodes don't happen as much.
I sincerely don't know how to let it go, when he still keeps rearing up and threating me, with always the chance of him slugging or choking me again.
My dad hurt me and I feel bad for starting our disagreement that my mom separated him and possibly divorce him in near future, I know he had psychological wounds from his past but I understand and see who he is. And now, I am on my own journey of self heeling.
I assume staying around the person who hurt you even after talking sincerely, the person apologizing, and even creating new boundaries while still feeling hurt isn't good, is it?
Thank you psych2go for this video
I need this. A really close friend of mine really hurt me and my other friends who loved him dearly. I've been so puzzled since then how to move on properly and ive been having doubts about ever being able to really connect with anymore people because of how skeptical i am with many people
although i do appreciate the other voices of psych2go, this is still the most soothing to me 😌
Yes 🥰
I've been hurt and betrayed by people i called my friends countless times. The trauma is incredibly difficult to heal from especially because of what they did to me...
Psych2go I have an request
Can you make a video to how to feel better after getting hurt or overwhelmed
And
How to let go the person who you have a crush on
Please make a video on it I am really going through many things I hope you understand
Btw thanks for making this video this video also made me
And yeah I have ADHD so I watch your videos many time
My best friend ditched me for her boyfriend and only really tries to talk to me when he's not around. She's really defensive and every time I try to bring it up she deflects and pretends that she's not doing anything wrong
Luckily I jumped on into this video
I have this issue 😥
Thank you 😊
Forming trust issues is a thing. It is hard to get these people to open up or to trust again.
This poison is hard and some people don't have the permission to heal especially in toxic households.
Many who do have the space literally sometimes take so much for granted.
It actually makes u emotionless cause u consider at the end that u won't get surprised when things go bad again it like u get use to being hurt that u become surprise when things r even well for a long time
Long term Anger and resentment are normal and healthy. The things that cause them are not. Life is pretty meaningless so I don't stick around mentally trying to find meaning in suffering unless I want to initiate myself as a proponent of or agent of suffering.
Can you make a video on how to deal with a break in a relationship/ break up with chance of getting back together and the chnages people should make in order to succeed
We all make dumb decisions. But we also need to GROW from that dumb decision, to trust ourselves to make a better decision next time, and forgive ourselves for that decision in the first place.
It probably isn't as simple as what you think... but humour me, currently heal time: infinite... I've learnt alot, they said that talk therapy isn't going to help so what will?