Sebdcord I’m the one that gonna have to work the extra hours. If their parents wanna bring over food they can come just fine but I only got money to pay for food for my family that’s already coming over and then the ten kids my child wanted their and you want me have the whole class up in my house. Imma have to write bring food or don’t come on the invitation.
I totally agree. This is school policy? If a parent breaks policy then what is the school going to do about it? If the school is not going to pay for party expenses then the school is not going to tell me who I am inviting?
How does the school expect the parents to pay for all those students. When I was younger we just handed out the invites outside of school those who were best friends.
That’s how it should be done. But I vividly remember a girl who stopped us all from going to lunch to hand out her birthday invitations. Everyone in the entire class got invited besides me and another boy because I (smelled like curry too much and the boy has a lazy eye that made the other kids uncomfortable) I went home crying. Almost all my friends got invited except me and my friend.
Well I don't know about the US, but in Britain it's normal to invite everyone in the class and the parents of that child chip in sometimes to help with expenses. Birthday parties are generally pretty expensive anyway
I feel like the point of this is so the loner isn't left out. But what if you are the weird kid with a few friends and then you have to invite the whole class and feel left out at your own party...
That’s life. How long are we going to coddle and protect our kids from hurt? It happens. Everyone is not going to like you. I think forcing this will only breed entitlement.
Fatima Coulibaly the crazy thing about this mentality is people are willing to shield their kids from unnecessary things like this, yet not real issues that might actually damage them
I actually think the opposite. It's like the situation at work when your in an environment with people you spend most of your time together it's harder to shake off not getting invited because you are stuck with these people and it's uncomfortable to watch someone hand pick who they want to hang out with and then the day after have everyone talking about it in front of you. It actually makes kids more insecure and despite to fit and make some people shallow. But as an adult you have access to different circles and most of the time if you aren't invite it because you both can agree that you aren't that close or you don't jell well with their other friends and if your upset about not getting invited to it's honestly because of hype of who is going to be there and they don't like not missing out on the fun.
lstarsabb It's uncomfortable but so necessary. You aren't entitled to that, if someone doesn't want you at a party then 'oh well'! Its worst when someone invites you out of pity or even feeling obligated to invite someone when hosting. It's not that big a deal if you don't overthink it, just find something else to do with your time. In cases of kids feeling desperate that's when you teach your kid not to build your self esteem on who likes them.
I was that kid that got invited to none of the parties. 25 kids in the class and not one invitation, then they would talk about it near me out loud the next day. So please, just don't give out the invitations infront of everyone and thats it
I was the same...still think that all kids shouldnt be invited...its unrealistic and sets kids up for failure later in life. I agree with you about the not passing the cards out in front of everyone...especially when its someone you get along with and think they would invite you but they dont...that honestly hurts more than the kids.you dont talk to.
Same thing happened to me every year between gr.2-7 not a single invite. I got so used to it people making plans without me doesn't bother me at all. It makes you realize you're not entitled to anything 🙄
S Love oh and they should instead of caring about it we as parents should be explaining how not everyone wins and not everyone likes you or they may not be meant to go there! I kinda wanna say cry about it
We live in such a world of entitlement. This reminds me of the whole movement where everyone gets a trophy. It’s eliminating the ability to learn coping capabilities. Like Loni said “FORGET KATIE!” let’s empower our kids to not need the acceptance of others
My daughter is now 28 , We "ALWAYS" invited everyone in "HER" entire 'CLASS"...To Her Birthday Party. She NEVER Wanted Anyone to be Left Out. We Also Requested That No One Bring "GIFTS"... We didn't want someone NOT to Come because They couldn't Afford A Gift.
@@maryforbes1854 celebrates the person birthday? The kids having fun. I'm pretty sure the family members know what the kids needs. Some people bring stuff the kids doesn't even like.
My mother had the "everyone's invited" policy for us - it was terrible. I was not a quiet child, I knew and the world knew who I liked and who I didn't. I sat through one party with a group of girls I hated, they didn't want to give me a gift, I didn't want their stupid gift, their parents spent money for no reason. Honestly pointless. Don't do this to your child, teach them respect, don't let them be mean and flaunt the invite around but nahh don't force them to associate with people. You are not in the classroom, you don't know why people are not friends.
As an educator I have an issue with students passing out invitations during class time as I have seen it alienate some students. I also don’t believe it should be the teacher’s responsibility to pass out invitations for a party, trusttt we have enough on our plates. My advise for parents is if they would like to invite their child’s classmates do so at drop off/ pick up time. I don’t think you need to invite all students, as that can be a financial burden to our families. Let’s just try to be courteous of others.
My parents always taught me to just invite people to things privately. Other people don’t need to know if certain people are getting invited while others aren’t.
I'm a teacher and totally understand not wanting anyone to feel left out. Send cupcakes to the school and celebrate at school. We arent allowed to hand them out unless everyone gets one.
As a mom I don’t feel it’s necessary to invite every child and if my child wasn’t invited oh well that’s life. It’s my job as a parent to teach them how to navigate disappointing situations and teach them that life won’t always be fair. You don’t have to be friends with everyone but you still treat everyone with respect.
I’m a parent who invites every child in my kids class, and trust me not all the kids go... sometimes its 50% and other year its 80% of the kids. And sometimes its so surprising you the kids that don’t always mix together end up playing etc. I think as adults we make too much stress about something thats suppose to be fun our children.
I do that too, but only because I refuse to actually approach each parent and talk in person lol. Out of all the class only about less than 10 show up.
It is so important to be that parent though. Kids need to learn how to be inclusive, and let's not act like your kid is still going to be friends or even knowing all these people years later. A small gesture could mean the WORLD to some kid who feels weird and left out and like no body likes them.
I have two young kids and when they get a party( they are only allowed to have a party every other year) they give invitations to the whole class. That is my decision and I'm aware of the cost while making that decision. I would hate to see a child feel less than for not getting invited. Out of the whole class not even half showed up so good for us lol
@@fefexx7690 it's too expensive to have a party every year. The year they don't get a party I treat them to dinner and a movie plus they pick their own gift.
This policy is very common now. The problem comes up because it's usually ONE or two kids in the classroom who don;t gel well and they never get invited to any party- it's very sad to explain to 5 or 6 year old that they are not invited to the community event everyone is talking about. These ladies are not connected to mainstream schools.
Right! Except when my mom let me decided when I was 9/10 who to invite. i left out 1 girl who i think was bitchy(i dont remember at all now of course why) . And that girl's mom was the real B and called everyone from my class( probably 16 students) and told them my party was canceled. No one showed up except my bf and her parents( they didnt believe it was canceled because they thought my parents would have called them).hahaha. I still had fun and dont remember being sad. But, sometimes u have to be careful apparently if you have a psycho parent in ur kids class
Tamera wants her child to confront "katy" for not inviting him but yet she's not willing to invite everyone makes no sense and I did have F.O.M.O. with my own sisters
She did listen to the video again she said "I would tell Aiden to talk to "katy and ask her why she didn't invite him!" That's confronting her with 🙄🤦🏾♀️
She's not mad that he didn't get invited. That wasn't the point. The point was for him to learn to be upfront and communicative. He likes Katy and he wants to go to her party but didn't get an invite, so she wants her son to go talk to Katy and figure out this kind of matter himself.
@@Imokayluv all the other kids like him and they're not all getting invited because according to his cheap mom its expensive! should they confront him to and be "communicative" with him also?
Our local schools are the same way and I will say that most of the kids dont come but even worse the parents dont even RSVP so you have no idea how many kids to plan for...what I do now is if my child is good enough friends with another child I KNOW THE PARENTS and call and give a personal invite! Years ago one of my kids had a party we invited the whole class AND NOBODY ELSE because I couldnt afford to have 20 kids let alone more...needless to say NOBODY SHOWED UP!! it was heartbreaking...I did make his day wonderful in the end but PARENTS TAKE 5 MINS TO RSVP! ITS COMMON COURTESY AND REALLY CAN BE A BIG DEAL!!!
This wouldn’t even be a question if people took the time to PARENT their kids. How about teaching your kids humility? I realize that that can be difficult if you lack that trait yourself. If you’re openly handing out invites AT school and you aren’t inviting the whole class, you lack humility and empathy. Period. Yes, children have to be taught that not everyone is your friend and you don’t have to surround yourself with individuals that you feel uncomfortable with. That’s a VERY important lesson. An even bigger lesson is teaching your kids not to gloat. They obviously know that not everyone is invited. Going to school the next day a boasting about it is where the issue is. Asking a child in class if they got invited while knowing that they didn’t is bullying. Everyone seems to focus on telling the uninvited kids to “buck up”, “that’s life”,. Learning how to be a considerate and conscious and compassionate person is also a “part of life”. Reading these comments truly puts things into perspective when I see how shallow and inconsiderate some kids are. Just a heads up, those kids turn into adults with the same traits.
Lissette Rodriguez literately primary grades. Everybody jokes about their past anyways about how it used to be. Lots of embarssing lessons, to bullying, to weird things you were into as a kid that you would not be into at all. Like in this video when the ladies on the real said “you have to understand kids, they may hate you but then like you 2 minutes later”. If you invited your entire class to your birthday. That would be fun and or a disaster. Either way you’d be like 8, it’s not like most remeber much anyways and if you do, time has passed and everyone has forgotten about it.
Hopefully, when I have kids in the future and why kids weren’t invited to a party ( depending how it was done) I’d comfort them. Getting your feelings hurt like that teaches you how to manage your emotions and learn that not everyone isn’t your friend. That’s why you gotta be your own best friend! It could be a teaching moment to teach your child self value. You’re value isn’t defined by a failed invitation
My mom once prepared a birthday party for me, so I invited all my classmates. Then nobody showed up. I firmly believe that gave me a thicker skin, and since then I’ve never let anything bother me
I'm in my 20's now. But, for my 9 or 10th birthday I didn't like one girl who in my class( lets call her Tina. I actually don't remember why i didn't like her now). And, my mom let me invite anyone I wanted and asked me if I was sure i didn't want her invited. Tina's mom called my mom and said that I was in charge of the invitations and that Tina wasn't invited, she didn't know why but kids are kids. Well when it was my bday no one showed up at where my bday was held except my best friend and her parents. And, her parents told my parents that Tina's mom told everyone my bday party was canceled.They didn't believe Tina's mom and came. I mean Tina's mom was a real B here. I don't remember being sad at all and still had fun. But, some mom's can be real B's apparently. Now, whenever I have kids one day I will make them invite everyone in their grade school class because u never know if they will have crazy mom hahahaha. I think once you get to middle school then it's different.
If my child cries about getting left out of a birthday party, I'm gonna have a real conversation and tell them, that maybe so and so just didn't want you at their party. And that's ok because your real friends will invite you to their parties and you're mot always gonna go to every party. It's a harsh truth, but they'll be better off knowing.
@@Foxfire8787 Nobody has 0 friends for their entire life. Even if they never go to a b day party it won't be the end of the world. Just tell them that friends will come in time if they act like themselves.
@@noelle2654 "if they act like themselves" and what about Nero divergent people who get judge fir being themselves? You clearly live in a bubble If you think things are that simple
So first we had a school that took away the right to have a best friend in school and then we have a school that allows for everybody to be invited to a party even if said person who throws the party doesn’t like ( insert name here ) they still get invited anyway ? Nah bump that ! If i choose have a party OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL GROUNDS and on MY PROPERTY I’m gonna invite who I want to invite ! Period Point Blank !
I work at an elementary school and out rule is you can’t give out invitations in class. You don’t have to invite everyone if you mail your invitations, or just give them out outside of school. I think it’s a great rule. Basically don’t let your kid be rude in front of other kids.
i agree with the school a little bit i don’t like the idea of the kids passing out invitations and they get to one kid and that kid doesn’t get the invitations i believe the parent should get the numbers of the parents the kid wants to invite and than text them
Everyone ALWAYS handed them out at school growing up. It is what it is! Teach your kids that not everybody has to be your friend or invite you to their party. Birthday parties are very expensive and even out of reach for some families these days. Nobody owes you anything in life. Be grateful for the experiences you receive not bitter about the the ones you don't!!
Growing up I remember my school had a policy like this but it was only if you were handing out the invites in class. If you wanted to be selective, you could give it to people individually before/after school, slip it in their backpacks, or just tell them about it. But we weren’t allowed to hand out invitations in class if not everyone was getting one 🤷🏼♀️
I invite the whole class and siblings. I also know parents don’t like attending parties so I know not everyone will come. I try to teach my daughter to include everyone that wants to play and invite the kids to play that have no friends. I teach her not everyone has to be your friend but we should be kind to everyone. My daughter also likes to tell people off and will call people a “bitch”.
This is how it is at my daughters school but it’s if you pass an invitation out at school you have to give one to everyone in the class. If you don’t want to invite someone then you give the invitation outside of school
I think it’s easy for grown adults to forget the issue of school bullying especially when talking about little kids. Bullying can happen even in grades as low as 1st or 2nd grade. Sometimes kids feel left out and sometimes kids ARE actively left out by other kids. So while I agree that not everyone is your friend and it’s important for kids to learn that, there are also many kids who’ll use birthday parties and events like that to purposely bully other kids, typically those who are more introverted or extremely shy. So although it sucks to have more kids come to your party which drives up the price, the policy does promote inclusion in the classroom which I think is extremely important.
In Denmark we always invite the whole class, and if thats too many, the family invites all the girls or all the boys :) It was always a good time, where we all came together, and no one was left out, it really bonded us
I think this whole conversation is focused too much on the birthday party. This school policy was probably set in place because of the kids who felt left out because they weren't invited to the party, and then everyone would talk about it the next day, and it would be painful for them. If we actually want to solve the problem, and I don't think this policy is the way, we should think around how to include kids who feel left out, who are not very socially adaptable or who are getting bullied.
What is the issue is the massive bullying going on! There are children who are disliked for NO REASON! It is kept up until high school! It has gotten out of hand! And yes, the popular kids rub it in the noses of the less popular kids! That's where the animosity starts in: when it happens ALL the time to certain kids and is done repeatedly! Then parents support their kids decision not knowing what is going on i.e. their children are the biggest bullies! Parents rectify this situation by saying not everyone can be included when the truth is if you're simply disliked, a person of color, disables, etc., you're never going to be invited. That's the world we live in! There's accept only of like kind! In closing, no, you don't have to invite all the kids, but you need to understand what's going on in your kids' lives! Why? Because for a select few, bullying children and not inviting them to parties turns those select shooters into bullies, outsiders or in worse cases school shooters! Teachers are saying take an active part in how we treat others!
Its all about classroom community and building a loving environment! I think all children should be invited and feel included. If you wanna talk about acceptance in society this helps builds it by inviting everyone. If we don't invite everyone it causes a rift and causes children to make enemies. According to conscious discipline, its all about community and building respect with everyone. People are bullies because they are angry and left out. This helps prevent it!! Also, it all depends on the age and the child's development!!
To me, it really isn’t that a big of a deal. I had to learn the hard way that not everyone is gonna like you because I was bullied and ostracized by my classmates. I was the person that tried to include everyone so people could like me but that feeling wasn’t reciprocated. Granted I had a few friends. I don’t think the school should dictate it unless it’s happening on the premises, but if you’re like me why would you want to to include someone who mistreats you?
My older brother got BULLIED as hell when he was a kid and was the only one in his whole big class that never got invited to birthday parties, even the teacher was invited and went. I think if one is left behind it is unacceptable. I can’t even imagine what that must feel like. Kids can hate and kill themselves over that.
Well that’s when as a parent or guardian makes the smart decision to switch your childs school & teach them to be a stronger person, plus maybe therapy.
It's not just that school, our school district does the same thing. I live in the Midwest. What we as parents choose to do is either invite them all and do the party in between lunch and dinner so you dont feed them a meal. Give snacks and cake. Or, you privately invite the kids your child is friends with.
What happen to inviting your whole class? I'm from the 90s where the whole class got an invite and than you got to pick and choose certain kids from the other classes that you where friends with
I grew up in Ghana, and the custom (in MY school - I'm not speaking for the hundreds of schools in Ghana) is that on your birthday, you bring a cake and some sodas and party bags which had small toys or books for the WHOLE class, all 25 of them, and you celebrate in the class during the last period of the day. Our classes were divided into A and B (based on performance) so usually when someone in A had a birthday party, it was for the A students, and vice versa. IF you had a party at a poolside or hotel or something, you invited both A and B students, ALL 50 of them. It's only when we got to sixth form (12th grade) that people had dinners with a selected few, but even then, those who brought the celebrations to school brought food for over 40 people, plus some teachers and the cleaners (janitors) on that floor. Things are less expensive in Ghana than the US, but that also means Ghanaians are paid less so it's pretty much the same thing. No one complained, and you didn't have to celebrate it every single year, though everyone did that. It was a nice part of our memories. Edit: when I say custom, I don't mean the school imposed it - we just did that as the norm. Edit again: I see some comments mentioning "what about bullies?" For me, I only found out what a bully was through movies, High School Musical, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, etc - I always thought it was just fiction because we didn't have bullies in my school. Our school was VERY no nonsense and practiced corporal punishment so if you even tried something mean, you'd get punished so severely, it would nevrr develop into becoming a full-blown bully.
Just experienced this with my kindergartener! I had to have her be a big girl and pass out her own invitations right before class and after class!! It was stressful! Also I’m not about to pay for and invite shitty kids to my child’s birthday party. I also think it’s my responsibility to have that talk with my child about not being invited or included. Like what A said.
Once, there was a bday party where everyone in my little brother's class was invited except him. He's very shy so he doesn't have many friends but that was really painful for him and us. As a sister, I was upset at the mom who made the bday party for inviting all the kids except my brother. So I actually understand this policy.
Dont trip every one isn't your friend and not everyone will like you so what you can have your own party and imvite people who love you and like tamera said invite the people that have invited you focus on who did not who didn't life goes on but I also understand that the kid may feel left out its up to the parents to teach them what to do in this situation
See, my elementary school had a policy similar to this but a lot less restrictive with how it was delivered. Basically, the stance of the school was that any child who chose to do public invitations in the classroom must have the intention of inviting EVERYONE in the class so as to avoid embarrassing the children that don't get invitations. In the case where the student having the party does not have the intention of inviting everyone, they were urged to privately hand out invitations. When the policy was first announced in school assembly, the principal basically said, "We understand that it is impossible to avoid hurt feelings when it comes to these kinds of situations but that we can take measures to minimise those hurt feelings by being respectful and not rubbing people's noses in it."
Im suprised, i think elementary this policy is okay ...and USE COMMON SENSE and once kids are invited show YOUR KIDS how to make everyone feel welcome!!!! I feel like the ladies didnt care for this topic
Policy in pre -schools here in South Africa, is if you want the teacher to give out the invites in class, all children get invited. so if you only want certain children to come, then you as a parent have to find a time outside of the school to hand out invites.
The policy where I'm from is that if you're giving a public invite in class give it to everyone. If you want to invite some people from the class you give the invite to the teacher and they pass it on. It's more for the families that aren't necessarily friends so they can only really contact each other though their kids' teacher etc.
They see those kids 5 days a week! Ain’t nobody got time for that! Kids need to learn you won’t be invited to everything or be apart of everything. They get cupcakes in class and that’s separate from the party. We invite who they want and that’s on that!
Well when I was a kid i was definitely one of the more social ones so I was literally friends with everyone & my rule always used to be to invite every kid in my class & whatever friends I had outside of class would get one. Half of these kids weren’t going to show up anyway :p & if they did well I kept it cheap, chips n dip for everyone & kids of free fun stuff to do like a pool party & bring ur own toys lmfao. I’m sure my parents were very proud of my party planning skills lol
So they can’t deal with bullying if it happens inside the school they get to tell parents who their kids can and can’t invite to a party that happens outside of school
Summer baby here lol, never had this problem thankfully. No school, no handing out invitations. My school gave out everyone's home phones and addresses at the beginning of the year so I think people should just send the address to the homes of other children that way there is no confusion if they have the opportunity.
That is cray I’m not having an bunch of kids at my home esp if my kids don’t even like him. So with that being said I think that rule should changes or if I was those parents I’d withdraw my child/children from that school.
I work in a childcare center and we just ask that parents give the invitations out to the parents personally or we can hide them in the child’s cubby to go home. Hiding them so incase it’s only a few invites, the kids don’t know until they go home. If there’s party talk we try to interrupt and say we can talk about that at home, just to protect feelings. We just try to prevent hurt feelings especially at 5 yrs old and under :/
My daughter's school requires inviting the whole class and her birthday is coming up and she only wants to invite 4 or 5 of her classmates, but we have to invite all 24.
Adrienne hit the nail on the head.. if you take invitations to school, then you invite everyone. If you don't want to invite everyone, then don't send invitations to school. Period. No, not everyone will be your friend.. but as a parent you need to teach your child to be nice to everyone.
I would think to invite only my child's friends of choice. There is a danger in that though. In that when talking about it later, the uninvited will feel bad. I think I don't see how the school can have a say in who u invite to your out of school b day party. I understand their point so as not to exlude others. Yet, they can not tell u who, what , how, relative to YOUR child's party after school. That is NOT their place. Also, as noted before by someone, will they be paying for the cost of ALL these children that THEY have inadvertently invited to YOUR child's party. They have no business in that at all, though I get their inclusion point.
We have that policy Denmark and it works great, but our schools are also a lot smaller, so your inviting 20 people at most. I have never thought about not inviting everyone, it’s just a given that you do, and it brings the hole class together so no one feels excluded
If the school is making parents do that then parents should do what they do for school parties and give everybody a checklist on what they can bring to the party , make them check one and have their parents sign it or they can't come lol birthday parties are expensive
So I'm assuming the school is going to cover the cost of inviting ALL of the children?
Only if u hand out invites during school time
Its either the whole class or just the girls or just the boys be invited....
@@jennyoneill8879 yeah no
right!
And what if there's a freakin' bully or two in the class?? Then the victim is stuck with their bullies and it's a whole mess.
On please lmao
Right. Imagine being forced to invite someone who is picking on your child to their party?
If I don’t like you I ain’t inviting you
Hannah Walmer Happened to me. It’s enough to have my life made miserable at school EVERY DAY but in my own home? Hell nah, i beat that lil kid’s ass 😂
neshia bleats what
Let their feeling get hurt I’m not feeding that many kids. My kid is gonna invite who they want with ten guests max.
Period, I agree
Sebdcord I’m the one that gonna have to work the extra hours. If their parents wanna bring over food they can come just fine but I only got money to pay for food for my family that’s already coming over and then the ten kids my child wanted their and you want me have the whole class up in my house. Imma have to write bring food or don’t come on the invitation.
I totally agree. This is school policy? If a parent breaks policy then what is the school going to do about it? If the school is not going to pay for party expenses then the school is not going to tell me who I am inviting?
Kanwar Ghuman why have kids if money is an issue
Sebdcord Learn grammar before calling anybody “unsensitive” it’s insensitive, dummy
Oh no the school is not going to run my house
Dawn alexander yeah it’s dexter the serial killer
How does the school expect the parents to pay for all those students. When I was younger we just handed out the invites outside of school those who were best friends.
That’s how it should be done. But I vividly remember a girl who stopped us all from going to lunch to hand out her birthday invitations. Everyone in the entire class got invited besides me and another boy because I (smelled like curry too much and the boy has a lazy eye that made the other kids uncomfortable) I went home crying. Almost all my friends got invited except me and my friend.
@@aishx8065 that is awful kids can be really horrible that should never of happened
@@aishx8065 I’m sorry to hear that. I would have loved to hang out with you in school and the other guy you mentioned❤️
What about the families who don't have the resources to provide food and entertainment for the entire class ?
That's something the school has no business in. In that situation I think the parents must approach the other kids parents and invite in person.
Well I don't know about the US, but in Britain it's normal to invite everyone in the class and the parents of that child chip in sometimes to help with expenses. Birthday parties are generally pretty expensive anyway
I feel like the point of this is so the loner isn't left out. But what if you are the weird kid with a few friends and then you have to invite the whole class and feel left out at your own party...
That’s life. How long are we going to coddle and protect our kids from hurt? It happens. Everyone is not going to like you. I think forcing this will only breed entitlement.
Fatima Coulibaly the crazy thing about this mentality is people are willing to shield their kids from unnecessary things like this, yet not real issues that might actually damage them
I actually think the opposite. It's like the situation at work when your in an environment with people you spend most of your time together it's harder to shake off not getting invited because you are stuck with these people and it's uncomfortable to watch someone hand pick who they want to hang out with and then the day after have everyone talking about it in front of you. It actually makes kids more insecure and despite to fit and make some people shallow. But as an adult you have access to different circles and most of the time if you aren't invite it because you both can agree that you aren't that close or you don't jell well with their other friends and if your upset about not getting invited to it's honestly because of hype of who is going to be there and they don't like not missing out on the fun.
lstarsabb It's uncomfortable but so necessary. You aren't entitled to that, if someone doesn't want you at a party then 'oh well'! Its worst when someone invites you out of pity or even feeling obligated to invite someone when hosting. It's not that big a deal if you don't overthink it, just find something else to do with your time. In cases of kids feeling desperate that's when you teach your kid not to build your self esteem on who likes them.
I was that kid that got invited to none of the parties. 25 kids in the class and not one invitation, then they would talk about it near me out loud the next day. So please, just don't give out the invitations infront of everyone and thats it
I was the same...still think that all kids shouldnt be invited...its unrealistic and sets kids up for failure later in life. I agree with you about the not passing the cards out in front of everyone...especially when its someone you get along with and think they would invite you but they dont...that honestly hurts more than the kids.you dont talk to.
Same thing happened to me every year between gr.2-7 not a single invite. I got so used to it people making plans without me doesn't bother me at all. It makes you realize you're not entitled to anything 🙄
The policy typically is YOU CANNOT HAND OUT INVITES AT SCHOOL UNLESS THERE IS AN INVITE FOR EVERYONE
The problem is that the kids who didn’t get invited get it rubbed in their face by some who did.
S Love oh and they should instead of caring about it we as parents should be explaining how not everyone wins and not everyone likes you or they may not be meant to go there!
I kinda wanna say cry about it
It gets ugly. I make my kids invite the whole class but I cross my fingers not all of them show up lol
And?
Remember in that’s so raven when Adrienne was inviting the cool kids n nobody went to ravens party lol
So what? That's life. Learn to cope.
We live in such a world of entitlement. This reminds me of the whole movement where everyone gets a trophy. It’s eliminating the ability to learn coping capabilities. Like Loni said “FORGET KATIE!” let’s empower our kids to not need the acceptance of others
Loni: "Forget Katie!" hahhaa!!
I’m sorry but if there’s a child bullying mine their not invited, I don’t want my child uncomfortable or any other child uncomfortable.
My daughter is now 28 ,
We "ALWAYS" invited everyone in "HER"
entire 'CLASS"...To Her Birthday Party.
She NEVER Wanted
Anyone to be Left Out.
We Also Requested
That No One Bring
"GIFTS"...
We didn't want someone NOT to Come because
They couldn't Afford A Gift.
Charlotte Mason no gifts?!?What’s the point of the party then, lol 😂
@@maryforbes1854 celebrates the person birthday?
The kids having fun.
I'm pretty sure the family members know what the kids needs.
Some people bring stuff the kids doesn't even like.
My mother had the "everyone's invited" policy for us - it was terrible. I was not a quiet child, I knew and the world knew who I liked and who I didn't. I sat through one party with a group of girls I hated, they didn't want to give me a gift, I didn't want their stupid gift, their parents spent money for no reason. Honestly pointless. Don't do this to your child, teach them respect, don't let them be mean and flaunt the invite around but nahh don't force them to associate with people. You are not in the classroom, you don't know why people are not friends.
As an educator I have an issue with students passing out invitations during class time as I have seen it alienate some students. I also don’t believe it should be the teacher’s responsibility to pass out invitations for a party, trusttt we have enough on our plates.
My advise for parents is if they would like to invite their child’s classmates do so at drop off/ pick up time. I don’t think you need to invite all students, as that can be a financial burden to our families. Let’s just try to be courteous of others.
My parents always taught me to just invite people to things privately. Other people don’t need to know if certain people are getting invited while others aren’t.
I'm a teacher and totally understand not wanting anyone to feel left out. Send cupcakes to the school and celebrate at school. We arent allowed to hand them out unless everyone gets one.
As a mom I don’t feel it’s necessary to invite every child and if my child wasn’t invited oh well that’s life. It’s my job as a parent to teach them how to navigate disappointing situations and teach them that life won’t always be fair. You don’t have to be friends with everyone but you still treat everyone with respect.
I’m a parent who invites every child in my kids class, and trust me not all the kids go... sometimes its 50% and other year its 80% of the kids. And sometimes its so surprising you the kids that don’t always mix together end up playing etc. I think as adults we make too much stress about something thats suppose to be fun our children.
I do that too, but only because I refuse to actually approach each parent and talk in person lol. Out of all the class only about less than 10 show up.
It is so important to be that parent though. Kids need to learn how to be inclusive, and let's not act like your kid is still going to be friends or even knowing all these people years later. A small gesture could mean the WORLD to some kid who feels weird and left out and like no body likes them.
yeah and what if they do show up- hell nah i barely even like these bitches they aint coming to my party
I have two young kids and when they get a party( they are only allowed to have a party every other year) they give invitations to the whole class. That is my decision and I'm aware of the cost while making that decision. I would hate to see a child feel less than for not getting invited. Out of the whole class not even half showed up so good for us lol
Why every other year?
@@fefexx7690 it's too expensive to have a party every year. The year they don't get a party I treat them to dinner and a movie plus they pick their own gift.
i love when adrienne gets up for demonstrations lmao
wow. When i was younger i had to bring cupcakes for my class. Never again.
Lol
This policy is very common now. The problem comes up because it's usually ONE or two kids in the classroom who don;t gel well and they never get invited to any party- it's very sad to explain to 5 or 6 year old that they are not invited to the community event everyone is talking about. These ladies are not connected to mainstream schools.
Simply put I’m not gonna invite my child’s bully or someone they just do not like to their party. That’s jus out of pocket.
$15.99? Imma need to know the name of the place Loni goes to to get an oil change!
Don’t go anywhere you aren’t welcomed
Jeannie is showing her Capricorn spirit with that JOMO
Kids should get to decide to inviate who ever they want to their own birthday party not the school.😘😍😀😀❤️❤️🧸🧸😀😍😍😘😘😘
😘😘
Right! Except when my mom let me decided when I was 9/10 who to invite. i left out 1 girl who i think was bitchy(i dont remember at all now of course why) . And that girl's mom was the real B and called everyone from my class( probably 16 students) and told them my party was canceled. No one showed up except my bf and her parents( they didnt believe it was canceled because they thought my parents would have called them).hahaha. I still had fun and dont remember being sad. But, sometimes u have to be careful apparently if you have a psycho parent in ur kids class
Sounds good too you find out your child's the nerd
Exactly.
Tamera wants her child to confront "katy" for not inviting him but yet she's not willing to invite everyone makes no sense and I did have F.O.M.O. with my own sisters
Yeah lol why would she tell her kid to confront Katie thats weird
she meant if he is her or his friend, that’s what you should do if your adult like she said “so he won’t shy from it”
She did listen to the video again she said "I would tell Aiden to talk to "katy and ask her why she didn't invite him!" That's confronting her with 🙄🤦🏾♀️
She's not mad that he didn't get invited. That wasn't the point. The point was for him to learn to be upfront and communicative. He likes Katy and he wants to go to her party but didn't get an invite, so she wants her son to go talk to Katy and figure out this kind of matter himself.
@@Imokayluv all the other kids like him and they're not all getting invited because according to his cheap mom its expensive! should they confront him to and be "communicative" with him also?
Our local schools are the same way and I will say that most of the kids dont come but even worse the parents dont even RSVP so you have no idea how many kids to plan for...what I do now is if my child is good enough friends with another child I KNOW THE PARENTS and call and give a personal invite! Years ago one of my kids had a party we invited the whole class AND NOBODY ELSE because I couldnt afford to have 20 kids let alone more...needless to say NOBODY SHOWED UP!! it was heartbreaking...I did make his day wonderful in the end but PARENTS TAKE 5 MINS TO RSVP! ITS COMMON COURTESY AND REALLY CAN BE A BIG DEAL!!!
This wouldn’t even be a question if people took the time to PARENT their kids. How about teaching your kids humility? I realize that that can be difficult if you lack that trait yourself. If you’re openly handing out invites AT school and you aren’t inviting the whole class, you lack humility and empathy. Period.
Yes, children have to be taught that not everyone is your friend and you don’t have to surround yourself with individuals that you feel uncomfortable with. That’s a VERY important lesson.
An even bigger lesson is teaching your kids not to gloat. They obviously know that not everyone is invited. Going to school the next day a boasting about it is where the issue is. Asking a child in class if they got invited while knowing that they didn’t is bullying.
Everyone seems to focus on telling the uninvited kids to “buck up”, “that’s life”,.
Learning how to be a considerate and conscious and compassionate person is also a “part of life”.
Reading these comments truly puts things into perspective when I see how shallow and inconsiderate some kids are. Just a heads up, those kids turn into adults with the same traits.
I'm a student and trust me I don't want to be around people from my school that aren't my friends #highschool #tired
Lissette Rodriguez THEYRE talking about elementary
@@20somethingsworld97 but still that's messed up for any grade
Lissette Rodriguez literately primary grades. Everybody jokes about their past anyways about how it used to be. Lots of embarssing lessons, to bullying, to weird things you were into as a kid that you would not be into at all. Like in this video when the ladies on the real said “you have to understand kids, they may hate you but then like you 2 minutes later”. If you invited your entire class to your birthday. That would be fun and or a disaster. Either way you’d be like 8, it’s not like most remeber much anyways and if you do, time has passed and everyone has forgotten about it.
In no world would I ever let a school decide what I do and do not do during my personal time. This is just downright horrible
Hopefully, when I have kids in the future and why kids weren’t invited to a party ( depending how it was done) I’d comfort them. Getting your feelings hurt like that teaches you how to manage your emotions and learn that not everyone isn’t your friend. That’s why you gotta be your own best friend! It could be a teaching moment to teach your child self value. You’re value isn’t defined by a failed invitation
My mom once prepared a birthday party for me, so I invited all my classmates. Then nobody showed up. I firmly believe that gave me a thicker skin, and since then I’ve never let anything bother me
Loni Love is a great auntie!!!
I really pray Adrienne’s dream of being a mom comes true 🥺.. you can tell she really wants to be mom, she talks about it all the time 🥺❤️❤️❤️
I'm in my 20's now. But, for my 9 or 10th birthday I didn't like one girl who in my class( lets call her Tina. I actually don't remember why i didn't like her now). And, my mom let me invite anyone I wanted and asked me if I was sure i didn't want her invited. Tina's mom called my mom and said that I was in charge of the invitations and that Tina wasn't invited, she didn't know why but kids are kids. Well when it was my bday no one showed up at where my bday was held except my best friend and her parents. And, her parents told my parents that Tina's mom told everyone my bday party was canceled.They didn't believe Tina's mom and came. I mean Tina's mom was a real B here. I don't remember being sad at all and still had fun. But, some mom's can be real B's apparently. Now, whenever I have kids one day I will make them invite everyone in their grade school class because u never know if they will have crazy mom hahahaha. I think once you get to middle school then it's different.
I understand the policy to an extent for e.g if there’s 20 in a class and 15 got invited that’s hurtful it’s different only inviting like 5 people
If my child cries about getting left out of a birthday party, I'm gonna have a real conversation and tell them, that maybe so and so just didn't want you at their party. And that's ok because your real friends will invite you to their parties and you're mot always gonna go to every party. It's a harsh truth, but they'll be better off knowing.
But what about the kid who doesn't have any friends
@@Foxfire8787 Nobody has 0 friends for their entire life. Even if they never go to a b day party it won't be the end of the world. Just tell them that friends will come in time if they act like themselves.
@@noelle2654 "if they act like themselves" and what about Nero divergent people who get judge fir being themselves? You clearly live in a bubble If you think things are that simple
So first we had a school that took away the right to have a best friend in school and then we have a school that allows for everybody to be invited to a party even if said person who throws the party doesn’t like ( insert name here ) they still get invited anyway ? Nah bump that ! If i choose have a party OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL GROUNDS and on MY PROPERTY I’m gonna invite who I want to invite ! Period Point Blank !
i love her but when Amanda comes on, im only gonna be watching “vault” videos :(
Me too, I like them 4 together. Even when there is a guest co-host I get annoyed and end up watching their old videos
Me too. She’s too much
@@SuelyPio well now she's gone
U happy?
@@envygoodridge274 is she really gone I hope so she was a horrible cohost
Nah. She added something so unique. Y'all basic
Adrienne will make such a lovely mum one day. You can feel it, she would be a kind and special mum like tamera.
I work at an elementary school and out rule is you can’t give out invitations in class. You don’t have to invite everyone if you mail your invitations, or just give them out outside of school. I think it’s a great rule. Basically don’t let your kid be rude in front of other kids.
Jeannie, it's possible someone else was faster in booking that ticket than you. It's probably not the site, it's you 😂
i agree with the school a little bit i don’t like the idea of the kids passing out invitations and they get to one kid and that kid doesn’t get the invitations i believe the parent should get the numbers of the parents the kid wants to invite and than text them
Everyone ALWAYS handed them out at school growing up. It is what it is! Teach your kids that not everybody has to be your friend or invite you to their party. Birthday parties are very expensive and even out of reach for some families these days. Nobody owes you anything in life. Be grateful for the experiences you receive not bitter about the the ones you don't!!
Growing up I remember my school had a policy like this but it was only if you were handing out the invites in class. If you wanted to be selective, you could give it to people individually before/after school, slip it in their backpacks, or just tell them about it. But we weren’t allowed to hand out invitations in class if not everyone was getting one 🤷🏼♀️
I invite the whole class and siblings. I also know parents don’t like attending parties so I know not everyone will come. I try to teach my daughter to include everyone that wants to play and invite the kids to play that have no friends. I teach her not everyone has to be your friend but we should be kind to everyone. My daughter also likes to tell people off and will call people a “bitch”.
Vanessa Sunshine where did she learn that disgusting language from? Bad parenting
This is how it is at my daughters school but it’s if you pass an invitation out at school you have to give one to everyone in the class. If you don’t want to invite someone then you give the invitation outside of school
I think it’s easy for grown adults to forget the issue of school bullying especially when talking about little kids. Bullying can happen even in grades as low as 1st or 2nd grade. Sometimes kids feel left out and sometimes kids ARE actively left out by other kids. So while I agree that not everyone is your friend and it’s important for kids to learn that, there are also many kids who’ll use birthday parties and events like that to purposely bully other kids, typically those who are more introverted or extremely shy. So although it sucks to have more kids come to your party which drives up the price, the policy does promote inclusion in the classroom which I think is extremely important.
In Denmark we always invite the whole class, and if thats too many, the family invites all the girls or all the boys :) It was always a good time, where we all came together, and no one was left out, it really bonded us
I don't like that policy. Not only the expense, but everyone has the right to choose who they allow in their circle and or homes.
When I was in kindergarten it was a rule you had to invite everyone and out of 25 kids none of them came to my party.
Omg kids suck.
Thanks Ade now I know the definition of FOMO and JOMO.
I think this whole conversation is focused too much on the birthday party. This school policy was probably set in place because of the kids who felt left out because they weren't invited to the party, and then everyone would talk about it the next day, and it would be painful for them. If we actually want to solve the problem, and I don't think this policy is the way, we should think around how to include kids who feel left out, who are not very socially adaptable or who are getting bullied.
I have never seen a talk show host’s that all of them are beautiful
What is the issue is the massive bullying going on! There are children who are disliked for NO REASON! It is kept up until high school! It has gotten out of hand! And yes, the popular kids rub it in the noses of the less popular kids! That's where the animosity starts in: when it happens ALL the time to certain kids and is done repeatedly! Then parents support their kids decision not knowing what is going on i.e. their children are the biggest bullies! Parents rectify this situation by saying not everyone can be included when the truth is if you're simply disliked, a person of color, disables, etc., you're never going to be invited. That's the world we live in! There's accept only of like kind! In closing, no, you don't have to invite all the kids, but you need to understand what's going on in your kids' lives! Why? Because for a select few, bullying children and not inviting them to parties turns those select shooters into bullies, outsiders or in worse cases school shooters! Teachers are saying take an active part in how we treat others!
At my school it was either (for me) all the girls have to be invited or the whole class
Tamera is nuts. Nobody owes your kid an invite and he shouldn’t have to confront someone for not inviting him. The entitlement!!!
Its all about classroom community and building a loving environment! I think all children should be invited and feel included. If you wanna talk about acceptance in society this helps builds it by inviting everyone. If we don't invite everyone it causes a rift and causes children to make enemies.
According to conscious discipline, its all about community and building respect with everyone.
People are bullies because they are angry and left out. This helps prevent it!! Also, it all depends on the age and the child's development!!
To me, it really isn’t that a big of a deal. I had to learn the hard way that not everyone is gonna like you because I was bullied and ostracized by my classmates. I was the person that tried to include everyone so people could like me but that feeling wasn’t reciprocated. Granted I had a few friends. I don’t think the school should dictate it unless it’s happening on the premises, but if you’re like me why would you want to to include someone who mistreats you?
My older brother got BULLIED as hell when he was a kid and was the only one in his whole big class that never got invited to birthday parties, even the teacher was invited and went. I think if one is left behind it is unacceptable. I can’t even imagine what that must feel like. Kids can hate and kill themselves over that.
Well that’s when as a parent or guardian makes the smart decision to switch your childs school & teach them to be a stronger person, plus maybe therapy.
If the school makes that rule then the school should pay for it-especially as some parents struggle
It's not just that school, our school district does the same thing. I live in the Midwest. What we as parents choose to do is either invite them all and do the party in between lunch and dinner so you dont feed them a meal. Give snacks and cake. Or, you privately invite the kids your child is friends with.
What happen to inviting your whole class? I'm from the 90s where the whole class got an invite and than you got to pick and choose certain kids from the other classes that you where friends with
I grew up in Ghana, and the custom (in MY school - I'm not speaking for the hundreds of schools in Ghana) is that on your birthday, you bring a cake and some sodas and party bags which had small toys or books for the WHOLE class, all 25 of them, and you celebrate in the class during the last period of the day. Our classes were divided into A and B (based on performance) so usually when someone in A had a birthday party, it was for the A students, and vice versa. IF you had a party at a poolside or hotel or something, you invited both A and B students, ALL 50 of them. It's only when we got to sixth form (12th grade) that people had dinners with a selected few, but even then, those who brought the celebrations to school brought food for over 40 people, plus some teachers and the cleaners (janitors) on that floor. Things are less expensive in Ghana than the US, but that also means Ghanaians are paid less so it's pretty much the same thing. No one complained, and you didn't have to celebrate it every single year, though everyone did that. It was a nice part of our memories.
Edit: when I say custom, I don't mean the school imposed it - we just did that as the norm.
Edit again: I see some comments mentioning "what about bullies?" For me, I only found out what a bully was through movies, High School Musical, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, etc - I always thought it was just fiction because we didn't have bullies in my school. Our school was VERY no nonsense and practiced corporal punishment so if you even tried something mean, you'd get punished so severely, it would nevrr develop into becoming a full-blown bully.
Just experienced this with my kindergartener! I had to have her be a big girl and pass out her own invitations right before class and after class!! It was stressful! Also I’m not about to pay for and invite shitty kids to my child’s birthday party. I also think it’s my responsibility to have that talk with my child about not being invited or included. Like what A said.
Once, there was a bday party where everyone in my little brother's class was invited except him. He's very shy so he doesn't have many friends but that was really painful for him and us. As a sister, I was upset at the mom who made the bday party for inviting all the kids except my brother. So I actually understand this policy.
Dont trip every one isn't your friend and not everyone will like you so what you can have your own party and imvite people who love you and like tamera said invite the people that have invited you focus on who did not who didn't life goes on but I also understand that the kid may feel left out its up to the parents to teach them what to do in this situation
See, my elementary school had a policy similar to this but a lot less restrictive with how it was delivered. Basically, the stance of the school was that any child who chose to do public invitations in the classroom must have the intention of inviting EVERYONE in the class so as to avoid embarrassing the children that don't get invitations. In the case where the student having the party does not have the intention of inviting everyone, they were urged to privately hand out invitations.
When the policy was first announced in school assembly, the principal basically said, "We understand that it is impossible to avoid hurt feelings when it comes to these kinds of situations but that we can take measures to minimise those hurt feelings by being respectful and not rubbing people's noses in it."
Im suprised, i think elementary this policy is okay ...and USE COMMON SENSE and once kids are invited show YOUR KIDS how to make everyone feel welcome!!!! I feel like the ladies didnt care for this topic
Policy in pre -schools here in South Africa, is if you want the teacher to give out the invites in class, all children get invited. so if you only want certain children to come, then you as a parent have to find a time outside of the school to hand out invites.
This happened when I was in elementary but I gave out invitations secretly lmao
a person can send cup cakes to the class or goodie bags it totally up to the parents.
The policy where I'm from is that if you're giving a public invite in class give it to everyone. If you want to invite some people from the class you give the invite to the teacher and they pass it on. It's more for the families that aren't necessarily friends so they can only really contact each other though their kids' teacher etc.
They see those kids 5 days a week! Ain’t nobody got time for that! Kids need to learn you won’t be invited to everything or be apart of everything. They get cupcakes in class and that’s separate from the party. We invite who they want and that’s on that!
10:06 CHEETAHS AMIGAS FRIENDS FOR LIFE
(Must've been what song Adrienne meant 😂😂)
Based on how she sang it, I am sure she was talking about the Dionne Warwick song.
Not everyone has money. Bringing that many kids can be expensive.
Well when I was a kid i was definitely one of the more social ones so I was literally friends with everyone & my rule always used to be to invite every kid in my class & whatever friends I had outside of class would get one. Half of these kids weren’t going to show up anyway :p & if they did well I kept it cheap, chips n dip for everyone & kids of free fun stuff to do like a pool party & bring ur own toys lmfao. I’m sure my parents were very proud of my party planning skills lol
So they can’t deal with bullying if it happens inside the school they get to tell parents who their kids can and can’t invite to a party that happens outside of school
Summer baby here lol, never had this problem thankfully. No school, no handing out invitations. My school gave out everyone's home phones and addresses at the beginning of the year so I think people should just send the address to the homes of other children that way there is no confusion if they have the opportunity.
That is cray I’m not having an bunch of kids at my home esp if my kids don’t even like him. So with that being said I think that rule should changes or if I was those parents I’d withdraw my child/children from that school.
I work in a childcare center and we just ask that parents give the invitations out to the parents personally or we can hide them in the child’s cubby to go home. Hiding them so incase it’s only a few invites, the kids don’t know until they go home. If there’s party talk we try to interrupt and say we can talk about that at home, just to protect feelings. We just try to prevent hurt feelings especially at 5 yrs old and under :/
Can the school focus instead on how to prevent a random shooting of innocent children?
My daughter's school requires inviting the whole class and her birthday is coming up and she only wants to invite 4 or 5 of her classmates, but we have to invite all 24.
Adrienne hit the nail on the head.. if you take invitations to school, then you invite everyone. If you don't want to invite everyone, then don't send invitations to school. Period. No, not everyone will be your friend.. but as a parent you need to teach your child to be nice to everyone.
Yep at my kids school if u hand out invites in class it's either the whole class or just girls or just boys
I completely agree with Adrienne! Speaking some sense
Imagine all of the liability issues that would arise when having that many children in your home/yard!
I would think to invite only my child's friends of choice. There is a danger in that though. In that when talking about it later, the uninvited will feel bad. I think I don't see how the school can have a say in who u invite to your out of school b day party. I understand their point so as not to exlude others. Yet, they can not tell u who, what , how, relative to YOUR child's party after school. That is NOT their place. Also, as noted before by someone, will they be paying for the cost of ALL these children that THEY have inadvertently invited to YOUR child's party. They have no business in that at all, though I get their inclusion point.
Just because you invite everybody doesn't mean everybody is going to go. Anyways, I like how Adrienne knocks sense into every conversation.
Attn UA-cam compilation creators: compilation of Adrienne dramatically flipping her hair back plz 😂😂 love her
We have that policy Denmark and it works great, but our schools are also a lot smaller, so your inviting 20 people at most.
I have never thought about not inviting everyone, it’s just a given that you do, and it brings the hole class together so no one feels excluded
If the school is making parents do that then parents should do what they do for school parties and give everybody a checklist on what they can bring to the party , make them check one and have their parents sign it or they can't come lol birthday parties are expensive
Lmao crazy when A said “conchita” I was like ahh damn she’s talking to me 😂. Conchita is my middle name I love you guys!! ❤️
*Adrienne & her song references* 😂💕👏
I’m a teacher from Singapore and brave taught at 3 schools. This policy existed in 2 of my schools