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Very nice of you to reach out and care about others that desperately need 💕 love and friendship...God bless you in Jesus Name....see you in the next world....
THE NARCISSIST'S PRAYER: That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did... You deserved it!
With all due respect to this gentleman‘s experience and interactions, the description he is Describing is a very basic type of narcissistic personalities. Plural S. Narcissism is a spectrum and that being said the most dangerous type is the covert malignant/master manipulator type narcissist. A masterOf deception
This was fabulous, I was so tired of hearing how narcissist are successful blah, blah, blah. The real truth is that they are not. These people are a mess, and very unsuccessful, forever future faking, meanwhile wasting years of your life. Do not stay in a relationship with these people, you will truly regret it.
Yeah, your right, some are very successful. But what some people don't realize is that there are some who are not ! It's sad to watch, it's pretty unbelievable actually.
It’s not correct, there are plenty of psychologists who would disagree with the claim that they are always unsuccessful. It’s possible that this guy has treated a specific demographic such as the prison population where there will be more people without a history of success. I do agree that narcissists are typically unsuccessful when it comes to close relationships as they lack the empathy necessary to connect with others in a genuine way.
The narcissist I know is very charming and works hard, hes competitive and is quite proud and very valued. Most people like him very much, not met many who dont. Yet he still meets these other qualities. Very masking, I was unaware of how deceptive...I knew he was extremely deceptive, but never knew he was manipulative and to a extreme for years without my knowledge. He was always able to convince me my gut was off or my mind was wacky...which is odd. I Wasnt ever perceived that way until he made 'his' people think this perception of me. Im pretty solid n alway was, he mistook my trauma as meaning crazy? Well he drove me to it and I dont think pain equals crazy, I think going around detroying people without conscious is crazy. Its dangerous all around. Also hes held on to me for years n years, n has been nurturing, just not intimately, which I understand he cant be vulnerable. He views it as fear and weakness, while I view narcissism as weakness. Also he was eventually able to accept that he is a narcissist and I thought we were working on things well in therapy. I was wrong, he has done the worst things he could ever do and hes punishing me for finding out as i feel like Im dying, I dont understand this. Im being punished for not believing im crazy when i know he and I both know he did vile things. You would think you would try to handle with care, not keep attacking...but no....this is frightening and after 7 years I feel like I been living with ted bundy and Im scared and my whole life with him was not real. He kept me with loyalty and i felt taken care of, which felt 'safe', but I always felt he was unsafe, I ran and he chased me for years. I think he was one uping me behind my back.
This seems to be more than a classic narcissist. There seems to be lack of conscience/remorse from what I'm reading. This may be a malignant narcissist (combination of Narcissistic personnality disorder and antisocial personnality disorder). The narcissist can become aware of his personality style, but it doesnt mean that it will register in him anything permanent. Narcissists can learn to modify certain behaviors, but they never fully ''heal''.
The truth is some Narcissists actually really dislike others who are generous and passionate and conscientious in what they do. I've explained many managers who blacklisted me because I was good at my job.. this occurred many times.. they are insecure at their core. The sad fact is it seems to be impossible to push back on these very sad people They destroy so much creative interests Even working alone didn't stop this totally I had a client who said all manner of nasty lies to try to destroy my business...they get at us from.many directions ...waste their own time The school girl declaring rage towards adults about Climate change is also one She should study to determine how she will contribute to our world NOT pour her own toxic venom onto all adults We are not all useless or neglecting the issues .. we are seeking to employ our energy to solve such problems Like gardening sewing recycling all kinds of things...so Greta go and study
Narcissist personality disorder hold positions of power and authority. Doctors, lawyers, therapists, political leaders, police officers, CEO'S. Its not truthful to suggest that NPD are failing. Its frankly wrong to only assume that these people are failing in life. Far far too many in control of others sadly.
I guess it depends on what one thinks success is. NPDs put a lot of effort in attaining social status and those with enough intelligence do end up getting their million dollar homes, trophy wives and career awards. But what use are these if they will ultimately end up alone?
I feel like a lot of the reason we don't see these disorders in successful people if because we sort of make that part of the diagnostic process. The interesting part is that you can meet all of these (or close to) characteristics but be born into wealth and privilege. The reason why I think this is interesting is because of how money and status can lead you to a successful life without actually really working on yourself as a person. You can buy your way into situation. You can borrow money and manipulate the system. People trust you because of your status and therefore you are already on top and really have no repercussions for your job, if you are the one leading the way. But we would never diagnose this person with NPD because it doesn't appear to be effecting their life. I think things would look very very different if this example of a person would have to start from the bottom and take direction from others. In other words lack power.
I think also lots of people are treated without being told they have NPD, which probably accounts for why we see much more disordered narcissism around than the diagnoses-based statistics (of like what 6% at the most) suggest. Artificially constraining the statistic is so irresponsible and further undermines confidence in the DSM which EXISTS to provide diagnostic codes, so should not be trusted as an authority on anything a prescription doesn’t treat like NPD or Munchausen. Narcissists use anything they can to duck accountability so having more of the resource which is the medium of exchange-yup. 12 years old when my father told me the golden rule “the guy with the gold makes the rules“🤢
I don't think having wealth is in any way a precurser to narcissism though. I know those who have worked hard making work or career their focus and built themselves up into a life of wealth. Yet they are every bit as much narcissistic as those who are granted or born i to wealth in some form. You said the key itself. They are individuals who are incapable of building themselves inside.
@@krystalMtn narcissism’s been called “the most profound intergenerational dysfunction short of physical incest”. You’re right-the precursor is narcissistic parenting, not the financial wherewithal narcissism values over decency. Narcissism’s about appearances (and it’s own convenience/comfort), so has no strong character to impart despite positioning itself in any kind of authority it can possibly exploit (to derive supply from the subordination of others). The scapegoat kid of the type person you describe can develop authenticity as a result of being at the receiving end of what not to do, but it’s still a moral and philosophical struggle to emerge with conscience intact and shake off the fleas. My uncle didn’t manage to do it, despite having been my psychopath grandfather’s scapegoat (this year I found the graves of my great grandparents he’d apparently abandoned in their grief at losing my great aunt and great uncle, dying in 1984 which left my grandmother and father to go to their respective graves in 2002 and 2016 believing he’d been orphaned) because skunkle’s too glad for it to be me and not him anymore in his misdirected unresolved bitterness at my grandfather’s favoritism for my dad long before I was alive. 5 years and counting no contact with any of them except through the miserably corrupt legal system where it turns out retired judges without elections to worry about do the more-serious treachery they only trained for as expensive sideways judges with upcoming campaigns. Narcissism LOVES the bench. Politicians are pageant contestants who make all forms of government, though necessary, inherently corrupt because the desire to govern others doesn’t arise from concern to steward their interests as diligently as one’s own. I just know the lucky accident of boarding school was the best thing that ever happened to me, because even though the integrity they were teaching was all hollow, I didn’t know it at the time-and that veil of decency provided enough room to practice what sure wasn’t being taught at home. Younger siblings like my grandfather dad and halfbrother are far likelier to be favorites/goldens and develop irrational blindspots like narcissism. I think their documented (and DEMONSTRATED, at least in my crimefamily of origin) tendency toward lower IQs is probably the result of indulgent but non-nurturant coddling…because narcissistic favoritism is of course still narcissism (neglectful and abusive). I agree with OP it’s definitely easier for those born on third base to end up given-over to substituting calculating rigidity for moral or intellectual consistency. Anyone (well-meaning, just uncertain) who abdicates thinking for themself to ideological gaslighting can end up doing the bidding of someone similarly morally and intellectually enfeebled whose deliberate hypocrisy they don’t see, however. The mechanism seems to be every seventh or so person able to recruit and play 3-4 more, so not a collaborative effort but explains why conspiracy theorists so-frequently get this part wrong. A tendency to imagine connections whenever seeing dots is caused by posttraumatic hypervigilance coupled to their misapprehension of prior abuse by the kind of targeting they go on to conflate with unlikely suggestions elsewhere. I think it’s because of misunderstanding/not realizing that the 3-4 of every 7 or so most prone to being flying monkeys lack the intellectual curiosity (through no fault of their own) to realize (or moral strength to admit) what they are. So the natural tendency to presume others are of similar intellect to oneself prompts some theorists who are similarly limited (lower ability is less aware of it’s own limitations) toward deluded narcissistic superiority (see Q-Anon Trumpers and SJW BLM Woke Strokers). That same tendency prompts less-limited theorists (with more rational theories) toward self-doubt for overestimating sheeple. But money usually gets taken from less-treacherous people (whether for deficiencies of intellect character or experience) by people it’s fucked up worse. Look at how Daniellyn Birkhead (aka Hannah Rose Marshall Stern🙄) kept going after the messed-up-enough Marshall family (to whom she’s COMPLETELY UNRELATED) with Anna Nicole’s ridiculous bullshit, and how the patriarch pitted his kids against each other only for the daughter-in-law (widow of his deceased favored son) to now use the bulk of that fortune to abusively mete out favoritism on the adult grandkids while his other son (their uncle) gets to watch. He’s the one with some business acumen but because he stood up for himself he was disinherited and the dumber backstabbing one who got all the money saw to it lawyers took what his widow (the non-blood-relative) didn’t. Family businesses are usually one man tyrannies in disguise that extract what they can before casting out smarts in favor of favored suckups once it’s too late for us to go do better on our own anymore. And despite knowingly being favored my little POS brother didn’t even hang around for Dad to draw his last breath-which I wouldn’t either if I had it to do over, because you can absolutely squander yourself in service of someone who’ll take advantage of gaslit inward-facing pseudomoralistic boundary porosity letting you do some “right thing” they aren’t worthy of. Forgiveness is earned, not owed to the unworthy for the unforgivable. Even the made-up god of Christianity doesn’t forgive the unrepentant. That’s just gaslighting from immoral morality tales like (bibletext) Jacob remorselessly soliciting Esau’s forgiveness with the same self-interest he’d screwed him around, not to mention favoritism for Joseph as narcissistic parenting. No wonder Jesus and Manson both had “disciples”, deific favor/personal divinity is a well-known theme in delusions of grandeur. God’s “chosen people” were the original master race, and stealing their act explains the “eugenics” program coupled to h’caust’s genocide. Unless you haven’t thought it through in the context of narcissism enough yet to add up a half-Jewish dictator would likely have been cruelly excluded and maybe even ridiculed in childhood by the AshkeNAZIm. Of course THEY don’t buy the Jesus joke. It’s a religion based of 40 generations of entitlement to exploit the goyim and responsible for the longest-running con in western recorded history-christianity. Just saying.
My ex husband is an Narrisist just like his Father, had 28yrs of it his cheating got out of control and no respect for me and our children got out n staying out NO EMOTION NO EMPATHY just a shell but everybody else's fault, after years studying this disorder see it now for what it is, they are extremely SAD individuals and severely damaged Thank God I am out and free fr this, he thinks me and children are at fault, knew when I met him all those years ago that something was off but didn't know then about this disorder.
A lot of men experience this, we just don’t speak about it in the public. But, I think informed professionals and new studies prove that this isn’t a gender specific disorder. There will be typically be more women at events no matter what.
I completely agree. The only part of this presentation that I wasn’t keen on is that he was always referring to men with npd. There certainly are women with it ( see my other comment).
It cannot be hidden it's all pervasive in every day living. There are only 1.2 percent full blownNPD. There are many narcissistic ppl. The two are world's apart.
Yeah, for me, it is much harder to find someone who isn't a narc. 75% of my family is - nowhere near 1%! Both my mother and father. Yeah, of course they marry! Birds of a feather. And these narcs, i swear they smell me coming - they cluster around me like mosquitos! But a normal person? That looks me in the eye and has a balanced conversation? So rare. That's 1%. Probably because I'm single and 42 and looking for a partner... That's why the universe is only offering me the scum of the earth? Basically, if a man listens and shows empathy to a woman, he is already happily married to (of course) someone else. I hate this world. It's crawling with narc scum and I'm drowning in their muck.
Exactly. Hes speaking from a statistical point of view and I'm not even sure that whatever polls they conduct can accurately decipher how many people could be diagnosed with BDP or NPD. I just ended a dating relationship with a woman who walked away from me so quickly I couldn't understand it. Once I started doing the research towards retracing to heal myself (and figure out why I was choosing the same types of broken women) I was able to easily ascertain that she had narcissistic personality disorder (or at least many of the traits) and avoidant personality disorder as well. And she was a 40 year old woman who had been abused in her childhood, divorced with three kids who the ex-husband seems to have more custody of, and a 3-year bad relationship before me. So it is not rare.
They most certainly KNOW and ARE FULLY AWARE of what they do! If one knows behavior modification. They are not just aware. It is intentional. Point Blank.
-being grateful to have come across this high-quality lecture series -resonating with a lot of the content discussed -looking up the hhci -realizing its right next to the church where i'm a lapsed member, in my state, in my city of houston, 4 miles up the road -i guess sometimes signs need to be so large, & hit like a school bus before i notice cheers
Great exposé, resuming the main aspects. Might I add that from having been with a Person with that disorder, but heightened by substance abuse, 1. Grandiose and vulnerable aspects can overlap, creating a sense of multiple personalities, thus creating the mind games of hot and cold, push and pull that people with NPD use to manupilate and confuse you, 2. Substance abuse seems very common in ppl with BPD, specially when they cannot match their grandiosity with the reality (job, relationships etc), 3. There is subtlety in NPD, for exp, my ex IS delusional, in that he really believes in his lies and deceits, thus when you say that ppl with NPD are not delusional, of course they are not in the sense of Pathology like Schizophrenic ppl, but from the moment ypu live in a self created reality, you might very well be in the Delusional box, no? 4. Is it possible to make yourself heard when u tell them the truth about themselves or is there no way around this? And are they able to love someone? 5. Also, they tend to be pathological cheaters, because one person isnt a reliable or constant enough source of attention, is this the case for all? 6. They are often quite good looking or at least seductive, making them shallow
I live in a very wealthy area so have come across some extremely financially successful npd's, as well as bpd's and histrionics (who become wealthy through marriage) and yes, their entire families are beyond crazy. I do see their marriages lasting and their children getting destroyed. They "volunteer" in the community and are respected and look amazing on paper - it's just nuts. And I disagree, they do not deserve sympathy. I encourage anyone involved with these types of people to cut your losses and run - save yourself. I wasted decades of my life not understanding what I was caught up with. They fool marriage counselors into believing you are the one with the problem. Run, just run.
Yes. This is Ridiculous..many NPDs can be very successful. He was also wrong that most people would not believe his grandiose lies..a Psycopathic Narcissist can fool most people around him, to believe him over you. He's thinking about a collapsed type..
They are also Very unlikely to commit suicide.. And for a Long time Narcissism has been overwhelming seen in women. I dont know were he gets his nonsensical pseudo information from.
@@colnohman5255 yes I've always been taught that Narcissism is very present in the upper echelons of society, heads of government etc & a profession that figures high on narcissism, surgeons for whatever reason
Well said. And MOST of the narcs I’ve met have held their jobs for decades and they do quite well financially. They bully their way to upper management and many in upper management ARE narcs. Many companies are stared and headed by narcs/bullies who promote other narcs/bullies to keep non-management from getting salary increases and the best (proper) benefits. He was way off when it comes to climbing the ladder, education and work ethic. Narcs will study their asses off, kiss their employer’s ass and do WHATEVER it takes to get to the top; many times they are promoted (by other bully management/employers) WITHOUT even having to get more education/degrees. There IS such a thing as CULT-like corporations. They’re everywhere!
Certainly! Here's a rewritten version: Yes, extensive research indicates that narcissists often excel in their careers and personal pursuits such as sports and hobbies. This success is likely because they thrive in competitive environments. However, they tend to struggle in close relationships due to their self-absorption and lack of empathy, which are crucial for building strong personal connections. Therefore, the speaker's claim that narcissists aren't successful is inaccurate according to the research. This doesn’t mean they always successful of course, only that it’s not uncommon. His description of the narcissists lack of empathy and compassion is right on point.
I know a few people that have NPD and are business owners and making a lot of money, so I have to disagree with labeling them as freeloaders. Many may be that is usually the ones on the low end of the spectrum. They still do the same things to people with the use and abuse with zero remorse.
They create an environment where all the people are working for them and not themselves..do due diligence these people are not sweating at all..the same way they do you in the relationship is the same manipulation they use in their companies..they future fake Making people work as if they are working in their own companies,,once your services are done or you start not being exactly what they train you to be they will discard you and you will be broke...it is a disaster my dear...
Met a person done PhD doing a job for a few years but all symptoms match with all 5 criteria, blame no emotion, always win the argument, always superior to everyone, sociopath and passive aggressive!! Gives silent treatment for more than a year, lie, steal, cheating, etc??
NPD is actually roughly around as common in women as in men - but it is massively under diagnosed because of the sexual stereotypes demonstrated here - that NPD and ASPD are men's conditions and BPD and HPD are women's. In fact men and women are quite capable of having any of them. They often just manifest slightly differently in men and women, in ways that are missed by people who are preoccupied with the gender stereotypes.
Ok I'm here for the content but now I'm totally fixated on this guys smiling. :D Only 8:15 in and smiling over here as if I'm not engulfed in narc abuse. I love it! This guy is great LOL!
If only we could be as good as him and smile the entire time he spews this dangerous information, knowing little to nothing about NPD. What a swindler.
This chap is spot on with his description of someone I got involved with after the passing of my wife ( I was vulnerable, so didn’t spot the red flags soon enough). He could be describing her exactly, apart from the substance misuse ( she didn’t). But the description of having ‘special gifts’ and on the cusp of setting up a lucrative business ( £100K a year), ( I’ve since found out she’s set up 6 of these, all failed), the trail of broken friendships and destruction, temporary dead end jobs, all of it someone else’s fault....she’s still at it now. The lack of empathy at my Dad’s funeral finally made me end it. People who have NPD do not , cannot , succeed in life, and this chap has given the best analysis of the condition I have ever heard. Thank you so much for the clarity.
He is spreading false information. Narcissists can be succesfull. Many are politicians, journalists, leaders and own their own business. I find it weird that he is making statements so contradictory to common knowledge. I think he is the only professional I have seen or read making such a stupid, untrue claim.
I had this in friend everyone like and we were close, so I thought. But I always felt he missed what I expected as a close friend and thought something was off. I even told a nrw friend of his about how odd he was and of. course they didn’t believe me and didn’t like me for that and it got back to this narc friend. For some reason, he kept me away from his new friends and at first I was offended. On and he didn’t have any empathy and he wen back home to Wisconsin for his mother’s funeral. When he came back, it was like the funeral was nothing major. After I decided this friendship of 10 years was going nowhere and I was tired of dropping clues and what I wanted in a friendship. We stored at the same storage and he told me he moved his stuff out and no longer at that storage place. Then I see him there and I mentioned about him telling me he no longer was at that storage. Of course he denied saying that, but it didn’t make a difference whether he was there or not. Made me think why did he lie about that? Anyway, one day I was at the storage and the manager asked me if I knew this person and i said yes. He told me that my friend allegedly killed someone that was a senior and had stage 3 cancer. Someone he met and started helping, like get food for them and help run errands. When I heard this, I was not surprised and he ended up going to jail for the crime and he tried to cash checks of this person he killed and was seen on camera using his atm card. He used to tell me when o had trouble with ppl. to kill them with a hammer, well this senior was killed with a mallet. And he was a apt. manager and a few had died and once he said the person that died had given him his car. But now it seems like he may have killed these 2 that died. He alway made things up as he went and much of it mad me no sense to me. But others he knew and spoke with are everything he said up. Made me realized how stupid ppl. can be. When I try to warn ppl. about ppl. like this guy, ppl. usually don’t believe me bc their ego approves and feel they they made a great judgement on these types. He also thought he was so smart and maybe I’m also a narcs bc I thought he was so stupid and could believe he had so many fooled.
I think he's definitely correct about the fact that they aren't successful in the common way we often think of when we think of what that is. The Narcs I know aren't. They aren't organized enough, conscientious enough, etc. They aren't doing things in a way that would logically be necessary to achieve long term success.
Was he is saying is not true. Many narcississts hold high positions. I don't understand why he doesn't know what everybody else knows. It's actually weird that he has no clue in my opinion.
I know I may have NPD when I am so comfortable with apologizing for my mistakes because I know I'd never feel sincere about it and I'd never share that fact with the other person, therefore, believing what I'm doing is no harm done.
My ex narcissist boyfriend cheated with a borderline personality younger woman. She stalked us for months. He never allowed me to go to the police too . And in my opinion the borderline was also narcissistic. Because when I met her she attack me verbally and showed no mercy . He picked me up for church she was hatefully ran me off to a cafe down the street. And told the narcissist I wasn’t HIS RESPONSIBILITY!
I confirmed that my buddy at work was a complete narcissist when he was driving alongside the road and he hit a guy with his mirror he stopped walked up to the guy and said did you just hit my car
One of the most disturbing things when it comes to experts discussing narcissism is their tendency to invalidate their potential victims. Yes, the term narcissist is overused these days and sometimes people label others as narcissist because of a few instances of narcissistic behaviors. There could certainly be more discretion. Still, there are also true victims of abusive narcissists and constantly discrediting and invalidating people who are targets of narcissists is like victim blaming. If you have been in a marriage with real narcissist or if you grew up with a narcissistic parent it’s unfair to constantly be met with skepticism by professionals in the field.
Yes, extensive research indicates that narcissists often excel in their careers and personal pursuits such as sports and hobbies. This success is likely because they thrive in competitive environments. However, they tend to struggle in close relationships due to their self-absorption and lack of empathy, which are crucial for building strong personal connections. Therefore, the speaker's claim that narcissists aren't successful is inaccurate according to the research.
Same here. One of them has a clinical diagnosis of NPD and he is very successful. He does have interpersonal conflicts at work, several people have unfortunately quit as a result of his management style.
As a professional I must value your educated opinion. But I'd like to share my side as only educated by 40 hours a week studying narcissism personality disorder. I was married to him for 36 years, he married at age ,30, no one ever questioned if he should be evaluated. I can tell you, our relationship from beginning to end was a 40 year nightmare of a bit of heaven smothered in hidden psychological abuse, only he and I know he's the culprit, but it is 100% denied. I was born into a family of narcs, mother sister and brother.. Thankfully close to my father, although he lost a battle with leukemia at 54, I was 27. I had his stability growing up. My mother had her star dancer, and her prodigal son came next. I was the end product of a miscarriage she suffered. We were not celebrated Rainbow babies, we were replacements of one who should still be there. You had to live it to get it I guess. I wished I never asked why there was an extra year between kid #2 & #3
I think a child of a npd person can mirror that npd parent for not having been taught another way ,but this can look like npd where actually that person is a empath trying to get better understanding and insight myself thank you for you knowledge
He told me oh sweet I had to start dating (the borderline) because you were not stable . Like a borderline personality is stable ! Stalking us constantly. Geez ! Now who’s crazy ! Letting a crazy borderline get away with harassment and stalking??? That’s not stable to allow a borderline to do this .
@@janec.kowalczyk5824 it’s a very isolating feeling when you know a different reality than everyone else. It is terrible when it is your parents. A real nightmare
This just reminded me of my ex who was convinced he would be a famous dancer, he even tried to create his own wikipedia page putting his biography and shit; and meanwhile he had no meaningful dance skills, nor was he trying to learn.
So I may be dealing with a sociopath. He meets all these traits but he is charming and has good work ethic. Its a supply to him, he see them below him. And I suppose I always seen him through his eyes. That he held the moon. Can you have a co dependent narcissist?
TYJ whats Impossible with man is Possible with GOD!! TY I hav learned sooo much as a family,, like any family member who is sick our Fam will stick 2 gether and NOT let the "sick one" Control the LOVE and forgiveness and support and peace and JOY OUR Family shows 2 each one ❤ 😊 ♥ 👇🙏🙏💯
Yes, if you are 20 years old and fall for such a guy ... then , okay. You fall for many different people when you are young ,some you today , make the sign of the cross, just thinking about them . It's now 30 years later and the last 12 years spent on that shit,(with kids)it can be a serious problem.Adults also fall for "such people"(are you lucky,you can come out on the other side,with great insight into yourself,and what/who you are. On the same level that a good LSD trip can give you!)
I had to look if this was really old. Of course there are financially successful NPD. True could have been more successful since they use failure as attention if all else fails but yes “covert” (whatever term u want use for the not in your face Narcissist) successful then flip to victim etc. so cld be more successful and plenty of overt are financially successful. Guess I will read comments to see if it is a waste time to watch this lecture.
my wife has all 9 in spades. She went off the rails this year...quit her job of 16 years...alienated her 4 adult children and tried to beat my brains in...so I left her after 36 years of marriage. She want to know why I left.
I really don't like the way he sees his patients as pathetic and losers - I guess the functioning narcissists don't seek help, but that's not the same as saying 4hat they are not there - just look at the presidents of America. With his negative attitude toward his patients, and his lack of empathy for them, I suspect himself to be a functioning narcissist
I thought he displayed a lot of empathy for those with npd, , saying they can’t help it, and they were sympathetic characters as in deserving of sympathy.....
Micheal Park….. I ‘ve listened to this several times now, and yes, I can see he is mocking of npd sufferers, ( he does also say that they are deserving of sympathy as ‘they had the crap abused out of them’. Mixed messages I know. But yes, it is quite unprofessional at times.
Exactly, extensive research indicates that narcissists often excel in their careers and personal pursuits such as sports and hobbies. This success is likely because they thrive in competitive environments. However, they tend to struggle in close relationships due to their self-absorption and lack of empathy, which are crucial for building strong personal connections. Therefore, the speaker's claim that narcissists aren't successful is inaccurate according to the research.
my ex narc managed to become the president of many organizations . I was on the board a writers a board with him . Until the end of his term when he had turned every board member against me and voted me off
I was enjoying your video until you said narcissist are never successful which is incorrect cause most narcissists have high ranking jobs and very successful. NPD can look like anyone. It can be the unemployed loser, the head doctor at hospital or the parent that is at all your games cheering you on. That’s why it’s so hard to detect
Nobody should be giving lectures about BS in books. If you haven't lived with or been in a relationship with a Narcissist, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT! There's the truth!!!
I can only be thankful for the wisdom learnt...otherwise 20+ years wasted wanting to make my mother a woman,zwhen she is a devil..I Am disgusted with her really and it is sad for a parent to provoke the child to be this angry to the point a child looks at the parent with disgust,,I refuse to look at her because I ran away and I am in a different country,, I am a feeling person,,with soo much feelings,and she is opposite that..safe to say her mission was to finish me..but I ran away
Treating patients in a program described as serving indigents and those without the personal financial resources to pay for their own treatment has a good bit to do with why the speaker is unfamiliar with financially successful narcissists I think
Incorrect, extensive research indicates that narcissists often excel in their careers and personal pursuits such as sports and hobbies. This success is likely because they thrive in competitive environments. However, they tend to struggle in close relationships due to their self-absorption and lack of empathy, which are crucial for building strong personal connections. Therefore, the speaker's claim that narcissists aren't successful is inaccurate according to the research. This doesn’t mean all narcissists are successful only that it’s not unusual.
No one: Me: I think some of the speaker’s words were lacking compassion and empathy. I also think that the target audience was treaters, family, and loved ones of people that may have this disorder or traits. I wonder what the presentation would sound like if the 90 some people in the audience were all diagnosed with NPD and he knew that going into the presentation. He was self-aware though that his incongruent affect can be off putting.
All very accurate however you say the word success incorrectly. You never mention how many successful people who have money never seek help to even be diagnosed and treated. Please correct this thanks.
This was disheartening to watch. The stigma on personality disorders is so horrible already and so many professionals even continue to spread it, because of their own experience. The joking and laughing and making fun of disordered people is really not laughable or educational. What happened here was a room full of people that learned to not look deeper into who these people are aa individuals. We are all different. We are not monsters and women with BPD are not hardly all partiers...actually quite the opposite. So much miseducation continuing to spread. I really hope the world can start to understand just because we function differently,doesn't make us bad people. Many non disordered people are bad people, or partiers...this is not exclusive to disordered people. We also have feelings. Sigh this was horrible to watch.
People with NPD can actually be very successful but you often have to look at how they became that way to get the full picture. A lot of manipulation, purposeful actions in certain dynamics, and drive towards being better than everyone else to feed their narcissism.
Wrong. Some of them are successful. A well known psychologist says he has it and mybex was a covert narcissist who liled to play the teacher's pet role and was able to get through school fine, with decent grades and even became a chiropractor and had NPD. So there are two examples that show a lazy man rule like that is misleading. It shows a lack of insight, whatever his "experience". And that for me is a large eclipse of a small sample size, but at a minimum limits his utility. Wrong, wrong, wrong. It may be true for some but there are at least some that like to perform or use that as their outlet or whatever.
I feel like doctors always take the most uniformly low-functioning examples of any disorder as the model they want to present, but people can have uneven spikes in their areas of competence and incompetence and still have the disorder.
My mom is a big failure because of this disorder,,and she has tortured everyone even setting me up for failure....she will not accept the defeat,,she is alone with her psycho son who is going to eat her...indeed none is successful in this disorder
@@KN-os1pv wrong is a parent choosing her innocent child to compare her life with,wrong is her confronting me to anger, wrong is making me more stressed than orphans..I Am no different than them yet parents are there...but you are amongst these parents😂😂😂
@@angecynthia347 Many narcissists are successfull in the world, his statement is very inaccurate. What I meant by writing wrong is his untrue statement about narccissists not able to succeed, many of them actually strive to succeed and is very occupied with studying and advancing in their career, because they want to be seen as the best. They use objects to abuse and to feel special: their job, their phone, their child, their friend are all objects and so on. Sorry that you had an abusive mother. Some narcissists are what we call collapsed narcissists, when they haven't succeeded with anything. They are addicted to their objects, for some of them it will be their job, for others it will be their drug and so on.
If you are really interested in studying NPD spend some time listening Professor Sam Vaknin. Most people with NPD are quite successful especially financially and only make up approx. 6% of the population or less. Personally from what I've listened to here so far quite frankly is dangerous information.
Doubt narcissistic people run around thinking they can show up at some Fortune 500 company and step right in to CEO, and if you don't believe them, then there is something wrong with you. Had hope for this presenter. But he is way over the top. Too many of these types in this presentation area
It’s very disappointing to hear this professional call people w narcissistic personality disorder “bad people” “they’re just a mess” it lacks empathy and also sustains stigma etc. These people have clearly suffered childhood trauma so this guy is really unprofessional. Also, his examples and analogies aren’t great/or convincing at all.
I dont like the diagnostic manual. Its really dogmatic and rigid. People have mixed personality traits and present in multiplicity of shapes and forms. Labels cant really help anyone. Narcissistic personality disorder often do achieve they are encouraged by society.
This is an unfortunately misguided and poor representation of the disorder. It adds to stigma. NPD is a debilitating condition, but people can get better. The key things that people with NPD need are empathy and compassion. I am not finding either of these in this presentation.
Quite the opposite , he always referred to the npd persons being males, and he seem to play to his overwhelmingly female audience. According to his own figures, 30 percent of npd sufferers are female, ie one third, that’s not a tiny minority.
What you are saying is completely and utterly not true. Rich and succesfull people can be narcissists. The fact that they - as most narcissists - don't go to any kind of therapy is why you don't get to see the successfull ones. What you see are those that are having a narcissistic collapse. Listen to some of the other experts and you will get wiser. It is worldknown that narcissists quite often are politicians, journalists, surgeons, leaders, owning their own business etc. So stop telling people false things that are simply not true.
@@TinaSotis Ghastly syndrome? Is that considered “narcissistic personality disorder”? Sorry for my late understanding, the seventh grade was the best three years of my life.
Not true! I live with a narcissist. He seemed caring of my and other's emotions in beginning. He was attentive, helpful and thoughtful while he was trying to reel me in or impress or fool others! Soon as he had me "hooked" and living together and pregnant his behavior slowly changed for the worse! Any promises made were broken and ignored such as helping with daily chores, groceries, shopping cooking, laundry, cleaning, bills etc. Before that we spent every minute together. At this time we had no house phones or cell phones. I was 8 mos pregnant and had no way to call anyone if I went into labor! He wasn't considerate of my feelings or well being at all. I couldn't understand why his behavior changed like that. Didn't know what narcissism was-never heard of it! I came from a marriage with DV, cheating, lying so it was nice to have someone sweet and attentive the first few months. The relationship seemed to grow and change for the better at first and I thought I had finally found the "one"! Intimacy was fantastic as he was very attentiveness. I was a victim of SA at age 5yo by a relative who was 45yo! I'm 70 now and still have trust issues. It caused much damage emotionally. Still together after 25+ yrs but not great. He flys I to a rage when confronted about his behavior! Refuses to talk about anything, work on anything or admit and take responsibility for anything. He doesn't think he does anything wrong! Now he displays this behavior in front of our kids! I'm disabled now and don't think I can live alone...he's ruined all our lives, doesn't seem to care and makes no effort to improve the situation. All the classic signs!
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Very nice of you to reach out and care about others that desperately need 💕 love and friendship...God bless you in Jesus Name....see you in the next world....
THE NARCISSIST'S PRAYER:
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did...
You deserved it!
My says "I did it because you made me do it"!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Accurate u both
With all due respect to this gentleman‘s experience and interactions, the description he is Describing is a very basic type of narcissistic personalities. Plural S. Narcissism is a spectrum and that being said the most dangerous type is the covert malignant/master manipulator type narcissist. A masterOf deception
i dated 3 of them. last one killed my friend, Psychological Murder: Death by Covert Abuse
Women. They use their sexuality to get hooks in you
I was once married to one. She made me feel like pure shit. She made me look like I was crazy. I took my stuff one day and left. I never came back.
Good for you boss👍🏼
Don't ever let anyone do that to you again. You deserve better.
This was fabulous, I was so tired of hearing how narcissist are successful blah, blah, blah. The real truth is that they are not. These people are a mess, and very unsuccessful, forever future faking, meanwhile wasting years of your life. Do not stay in a relationship with these people, you will truly regret it.
They can be successfull. What he is saying is not true.
Yeah, your right, some are very successful. But what some people don't realize is that there are some who are not ! It's sad to watch, it's pretty unbelievable actually.
@@KN-os1pvIndeed. What he is presenting are the low functioning ones; the high functioning cluster B never wind up in a clinical setting.
It’s not correct, there are plenty of psychologists who would disagree with the claim that they are always unsuccessful. It’s possible that this guy has treated a specific demographic such as the prison population where there will be more people without a history of success. I do agree that narcissists are typically unsuccessful when it comes to close relationships as they lack the empathy necessary to connect with others in a genuine way.
The narcissist I know is very charming and works hard, hes competitive and is quite proud and very valued. Most people like him very much, not met many who dont. Yet he still meets these other qualities. Very masking, I was unaware of how deceptive...I knew he was extremely deceptive, but never knew he was manipulative and to a extreme for years without my knowledge. He was always able to convince me my gut was off or my mind was wacky...which is odd. I Wasnt ever perceived that way until he made 'his' people think this perception of me. Im pretty solid n alway was, he mistook my trauma as meaning crazy? Well he drove me to it and I dont think pain equals crazy, I think going around detroying people without conscious is crazy. Its dangerous all around. Also hes held on to me for years n years, n has been nurturing, just not intimately, which I understand he cant be vulnerable. He views it as fear and weakness, while I view narcissism as weakness. Also he was eventually able to accept that he is a narcissist and I thought we were working on things well in therapy. I was wrong, he has done the worst things he could ever do and hes punishing me for finding out as i feel like Im dying, I dont understand this. Im being punished for not believing im crazy when i know he and I both know he did vile things. You would think you would try to handle with care, not keep attacking...but no....this is frightening and after 7 years I feel like I been living with ted bundy and Im scared and my whole life with him was not real. He kept me with loyalty and i felt taken care of, which felt 'safe', but I always felt he was unsafe, I ran and he chased me for years. I think he was one uping me behind my back.
This seems to be more than a classic narcissist. There seems to be lack of conscience/remorse from what I'm reading. This may be a malignant narcissist (combination of Narcissistic personnality disorder and antisocial personnality disorder). The narcissist can become aware of his personality style, but it doesnt mean that it will register in him anything permanent. Narcissists can learn to modify certain behaviors, but they never fully ''heal''.
Sounds like my husband of 22 years. Pure hell.
Psychopath?
One-upping. Bingo.
The truth is some Narcissists actually really dislike others who are generous and passionate and conscientious in what they do. I've explained many managers who blacklisted me because I was good at my job.. this occurred many times.. they are insecure at their core.
The sad fact is it seems to be impossible to push back on these very sad people
They destroy so much creative interests
Even working alone didn't stop this totally
I had a client who said all manner of nasty lies to try to destroy my business...they get at us from.many directions ...waste their own time
The school girl declaring rage towards adults about Climate change is also one
She should study to determine how she will contribute to our world NOT pour her own toxic venom onto all adults
We are not all useless or neglecting the issues .. we are seeking to employ our energy to solve such problems
Like gardening sewing recycling all kinds of things...so Greta go and study
Narcissist personality disorder hold positions of power and authority.
Doctors, lawyers, therapists, political leaders, police officers, CEO'S. Its not truthful to suggest that NPD are failing. Its frankly wrong to only assume that these people are failing in life. Far far too many in control of others sadly.
Exactly, the top of the hierarchy is filled with these cluster B personality disordered individuals.
Yes, it's quite annoying that he makes such false statements. He is ignorant.
Yes, this doesn't seem to track with everything else I've seen and read about NPD
I guess it depends on what one thinks success is. NPDs put a lot of effort in attaining social status and those with enough intelligence do end up getting their million dollar homes, trophy wives and career awards. But what use are these if they will ultimately end up alone?
I feel like a lot of the reason we don't see these disorders in successful people if because we sort of make that part of the diagnostic process. The interesting part is that you can meet all of these (or close to) characteristics but be born into wealth and privilege. The reason why I think this is interesting is because of how money and status can lead you to a successful life without actually really working on yourself as a person. You can buy your way into situation. You can borrow money and manipulate the system. People trust you because of your status and therefore you are already on top and really have no repercussions for your job, if you are the one leading the way. But we would never diagnose this person with NPD because it doesn't appear to be effecting their life. I think things would look very very different if this example of a person would have to start from the bottom and take direction from others. In other words lack power.
That's an interesting idea, thank you.
I think also lots of people are treated without being told they have NPD, which probably accounts for why we see much more disordered narcissism around than the diagnoses-based statistics (of like what 6% at the most) suggest. Artificially constraining the statistic is so irresponsible and further undermines confidence in the DSM which EXISTS to provide diagnostic codes, so should not be trusted as an authority on anything a prescription doesn’t treat like NPD or Munchausen. Narcissists use anything they can to duck accountability so having more of the resource which is the medium of exchange-yup. 12 years old when my father told me the golden rule “the guy with the gold makes the rules“🤢
I don't think having wealth is in any way a precurser to narcissism though. I know those who have worked hard making work or career their focus and built themselves up into a life of wealth. Yet they are every bit as much narcissistic as those who are granted or born i to wealth in some form. You said the key itself. They are individuals who are incapable of building themselves inside.
@@krystalMtn narcissism’s been called “the most profound intergenerational dysfunction short of physical incest”. You’re right-the precursor is narcissistic parenting, not the financial wherewithal narcissism values over decency. Narcissism’s about appearances (and it’s own convenience/comfort), so has no strong character to impart despite positioning itself in any kind of authority it can possibly exploit (to derive supply from the subordination of others). The scapegoat kid of the type person you describe can develop authenticity as a result of being at the receiving end of what not to do, but it’s still a moral and philosophical struggle to emerge with conscience intact and shake off the fleas.
My uncle didn’t manage to do it, despite having been my psychopath grandfather’s scapegoat (this year I found the graves of my great grandparents he’d apparently abandoned in their grief at losing my great aunt and great uncle, dying in 1984 which left my grandmother and father to go to their respective graves in 2002 and 2016 believing he’d been orphaned) because skunkle’s too glad for it to be me and not him anymore in his misdirected unresolved bitterness at my grandfather’s favoritism for my dad long before I was alive. 5 years and counting no contact with any of them except through the miserably corrupt legal system where it turns out retired judges without elections to worry about do the more-serious treachery they only trained for as expensive sideways judges with upcoming campaigns. Narcissism LOVES the bench. Politicians are pageant contestants who make all forms of government, though necessary, inherently corrupt because the desire to govern others doesn’t arise from concern to steward their interests as diligently as one’s own.
I just know the lucky accident of boarding school was the best thing that ever happened to me, because even though the integrity they were teaching was all hollow, I didn’t know it at the time-and that veil of decency provided enough room to practice what sure wasn’t being taught at home. Younger siblings like my grandfather dad and halfbrother are far likelier to be favorites/goldens and develop irrational blindspots like narcissism. I think their documented (and DEMONSTRATED, at least in my crimefamily of origin) tendency toward lower IQs is probably the result of indulgent but non-nurturant coddling…because narcissistic favoritism is of course still narcissism (neglectful and abusive).
I agree with OP it’s definitely easier for those born on third base to end up given-over to substituting calculating rigidity for moral or intellectual consistency. Anyone (well-meaning, just uncertain) who abdicates thinking for themself to ideological gaslighting can end up doing the bidding of someone similarly morally and intellectually enfeebled whose deliberate hypocrisy they don’t see, however. The mechanism seems to be every seventh or so person able to recruit and play 3-4 more, so not a collaborative effort but explains why conspiracy theorists so-frequently get this part wrong. A tendency to imagine connections whenever seeing dots is caused by posttraumatic hypervigilance coupled to their misapprehension of prior abuse by the kind of targeting they go on to conflate with unlikely suggestions elsewhere. I think it’s because of misunderstanding/not realizing that the 3-4 of every 7 or so most prone to being flying monkeys lack the intellectual curiosity (through no fault of their own) to realize (or moral strength to admit) what they are. So the natural tendency to presume others are of similar intellect to oneself prompts some theorists who are similarly limited (lower ability is less aware of it’s own limitations) toward deluded narcissistic superiority (see Q-Anon Trumpers and SJW BLM Woke Strokers). That same tendency prompts less-limited theorists (with more rational theories) toward self-doubt for overestimating sheeple. But money usually gets taken from less-treacherous people (whether for deficiencies of intellect character or experience) by people it’s fucked up worse.
Look at how Daniellyn Birkhead (aka Hannah Rose Marshall Stern🙄) kept going after the messed-up-enough Marshall family (to whom she’s COMPLETELY UNRELATED) with Anna Nicole’s ridiculous bullshit, and how the patriarch pitted his kids against each other only for the daughter-in-law (widow of his deceased favored son) to now use the bulk of that fortune to abusively mete out favoritism on the adult grandkids while his other son (their uncle) gets to watch. He’s the one with some business acumen but because he stood up for himself he was disinherited and the dumber backstabbing one who got all the money saw to it lawyers took what his widow (the non-blood-relative) didn’t. Family businesses are usually one man tyrannies in disguise that extract what they can before casting out smarts in favor of favored suckups once it’s too late for us to go do better on our own anymore. And despite knowingly being favored my little POS brother didn’t even hang around for Dad to draw his last breath-which I wouldn’t either if I had it to do over, because you can absolutely squander yourself in service of someone who’ll take advantage of gaslit inward-facing pseudomoralistic boundary porosity letting you do some “right thing” they aren’t worthy of. Forgiveness is earned, not owed to the unworthy for the unforgivable.
Even the made-up god of Christianity doesn’t forgive the unrepentant. That’s just gaslighting from immoral morality tales like (bibletext) Jacob remorselessly soliciting Esau’s forgiveness with the same self-interest he’d screwed him around, not to mention favoritism for Joseph as narcissistic parenting. No wonder Jesus and Manson both had “disciples”, deific favor/personal divinity is a well-known theme in delusions of grandeur. God’s “chosen people” were the original master race, and stealing their act explains the “eugenics” program coupled to h’caust’s genocide. Unless you haven’t thought it through in the context of narcissism enough yet to add up a half-Jewish dictator would likely have been cruelly excluded and maybe even ridiculed in childhood by the AshkeNAZIm. Of course THEY don’t buy the Jesus joke. It’s a religion based of 40 generations of entitlement to exploit the goyim and responsible for the longest-running con in western recorded history-christianity. Just saying.
Also of interest is the motivation of certain types of people to strive after describing other types of people.
My ex husband is an Narrisist just like his Father, had 28yrs of it his cheating got out of control and no respect for me and our children got out n staying out NO EMOTION NO EMPATHY just a shell but everybody else's fault, after years studying this disorder see it now for what it is, they are extremely SAD individuals and severely damaged Thank God I am out and free fr this, he thinks me and children are at fault, knew when I met him all those years ago that something was off but didn't know then about this disorder.
Susan, I’m an empath. We can have so much fun together
A lot of men experience this, we just don’t speak about it in the public. But, I think informed professionals and new studies prove that this isn’t a gender specific disorder. There will be typically be more women at events no matter what.
I completely agree. The only part of this presentation that I wasn’t keen on is that he was always referring to men with npd. There certainly are women with it ( see my other comment).
Nay… the speaker nails that NBPD are losers. Trump is a successful business man. Did you make ten percent of his money or successful in your field?
It's not rare to have narcissistic personality disorder. People don't get diagnosed because they don't know there is anything wrong with them.
Precisely
It cannot be hidden it's all pervasive in every day living. There are only 1.2 percent full blownNPD. There are many narcissistic ppl. The two are world's apart.
Yeah, for me, it is much harder to find someone who isn't a narc. 75% of my family is - nowhere near 1%! Both my mother and father. Yeah, of course they marry! Birds of a feather. And these narcs, i swear they smell me coming - they cluster around me like mosquitos! But a normal person? That looks me in the eye and has a balanced conversation? So rare. That's 1%. Probably because I'm single and 42 and looking for a partner... That's why the universe is only offering me the scum of the earth? Basically, if a man listens and shows empathy to a woman, he is already happily married to (of course) someone else. I hate this world. It's crawling with narc scum and I'm drowning in their muck.
Exactly. Hes speaking from a statistical point of view and I'm not even sure that whatever polls they conduct can accurately decipher how many people could be diagnosed with BDP or NPD. I just ended a dating relationship with a woman who walked away from me so quickly I couldn't understand it. Once I started doing the research towards retracing to heal myself (and figure out why I was choosing the same types of broken women) I was able to easily ascertain that she had narcissistic personality disorder (or at least many of the traits) and avoidant personality disorder as well. And she was a 40 year old woman who had been abused in her childhood, divorced with three kids who the ex-husband seems to have more custody of, and a 3-year bad relationship before me. So it is not rare.
They most certainly KNOW and ARE FULLY AWARE of what they do! If one knows behavior modification. They are not just aware. It is intentional. Point Blank.
-being grateful to have come across this high-quality lecture series
-resonating with a lot of the content discussed
-looking up the hhci
-realizing its right next to the church where i'm a lapsed member, in my state, in my city of houston, 4 miles up the road
-i guess sometimes signs need to be so large, & hit like a school bus before i notice
cheers
ua-cam.com/video/JdVOFwalQEw/v-deo.html
Problem with NPD is treatment depends on their on level of awareness and willingness to progress.
Great exposé, resuming the main aspects. Might I add that from having been with a Person with that disorder, but heightened by substance abuse, 1. Grandiose and vulnerable aspects can overlap, creating a sense of multiple personalities, thus creating the mind games of hot and cold, push and pull that people with NPD use to manupilate and confuse you, 2. Substance abuse seems very common in ppl with BPD, specially when they cannot match their grandiosity with the reality (job, relationships etc), 3. There is subtlety in NPD, for exp, my ex IS delusional, in that he really believes in his lies and deceits, thus when you say that ppl with NPD are not delusional, of course they are not in the sense of Pathology like Schizophrenic ppl, but from the moment ypu live in a self created reality, you might very well be in the Delusional box, no? 4. Is it possible to make yourself heard when u tell them the truth about themselves or is there no way around this? And are they able to love someone?
5. Also, they tend to be pathological cheaters, because one person isnt a reliable or constant enough source of attention, is this the case for all? 6. They are often quite good looking or at least seductive, making them shallow
I live in a very wealthy area so have come across some extremely financially successful npd's, as well as bpd's and histrionics (who become wealthy through marriage) and yes, their entire families are beyond crazy. I do see their marriages lasting and their children getting destroyed. They "volunteer" in the community and are respected and look amazing on paper - it's just nuts. And I disagree, they do not deserve sympathy. I encourage anyone involved with these types of people to cut your losses and run - save yourself. I wasted decades of my life not understanding what I was caught up with. They fool marriage counselors into believing you are the one with the problem. Run, just run.
And lie to lawyers, too
Yes. This is Ridiculous..many NPDs can be very successful. He was also wrong that most people would not believe his grandiose lies..a Psycopathic Narcissist can fool most people around him, to believe him over you. He's thinking about a collapsed type..
They are also Very unlikely to commit suicide.. And for a Long time Narcissism has been overwhelming seen in women. I dont know were he gets his nonsensical pseudo information from.
@@colnohman5255 yes I've always been taught that Narcissism is very present in the upper echelons of society, heads of government etc & a profession that figures high on narcissism, surgeons for whatever reason
Well said. And MOST of the narcs I’ve met have held their jobs for decades and they do quite well financially. They bully their way to upper management and many in upper management ARE narcs. Many companies are stared and headed by narcs/bullies who promote other narcs/bullies to keep non-management from getting salary increases and the best (proper) benefits. He was way off when it comes to climbing the ladder, education and work ethic. Narcs will study their asses off, kiss their employer’s ass and do WHATEVER it takes to get to the top; many times they are promoted (by other bully management/employers) WITHOUT even having to get more education/degrees. There IS such a thing as CULT-like corporations. They’re everywhere!
YOU TOTALLY NAILED IT MR SANFORD! MY X FITS THE BILL TO THE TEE, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!
Certainly! Here's a rewritten version:
Yes, extensive research indicates that narcissists often excel in their careers and personal pursuits such as sports and hobbies. This success is likely because they thrive in competitive environments. However, they tend to struggle in close relationships due to their self-absorption and lack of empathy, which are crucial for building strong personal connections. Therefore, the speaker's claim that narcissists aren't successful is inaccurate according to the research. This doesn’t mean they always successful of course, only that it’s not uncommon.
His description of the narcissists lack of empathy and compassion is right on point.
I know a few people that have NPD and are business owners and making a lot of money, so I have to disagree with labeling them as freeloaders. Many may be that is usually the ones on the low end of the spectrum. They still do the same things to people with the use and abuse with zero remorse.
They create an environment where all the people are working for them and not themselves..do due diligence these people are not sweating at all..the same way they do you in the relationship is the same manipulation they use in their companies..they future fake Making people work as if they are working in their own companies,,once your services are done or you start not being exactly what they train you to be they will discard you and you will be broke...it is a disaster my dear...
Behind Donald Trump there is a bunch of genius realtors that have given him their souls..who are they? Where are they?? It is only Donald Trump
What makes you think successful people with NPD would show up at your office? You’re view is skewed.
Met a person done PhD doing a job for a few years but all symptoms match with all 5 criteria, blame no emotion, always win the argument, always superior to everyone, sociopath and passive aggressive!! Gives silent treatment for more than a year, lie, steal, cheating, etc??
NPD is actually roughly around as common in women as in men - but it is massively under diagnosed because of the sexual stereotypes demonstrated here - that NPD and ASPD are men's conditions and BPD and HPD are women's. In fact men and women are quite capable of having any of them. They often just manifest slightly differently in men and women, in ways that are missed by people who are preoccupied with the gender stereotypes.
My husband is has npd and abuses me. Guess I got lucky🤔
Totally isolated and controlled. Working on a plan of escape.
Ok I'm here for the content but now I'm totally fixated on this guys smiling. :D Only 8:15 in and smiling over here as if I'm not engulfed in narc abuse. I love it! This guy is great LOL!
If only we could be as good as him and smile the entire time he spews this dangerous information, knowing little to nothing about NPD. What a swindler.
will continue to try to find better listening material
Omg u just said it learned behavior thank you
This chap is spot on with his description of someone I got involved with after the passing of my wife ( I was vulnerable, so didn’t spot the red flags soon enough). He could be describing her exactly, apart from the substance misuse ( she didn’t). But the description of having ‘special gifts’ and on the cusp of setting up a lucrative business ( £100K a year), ( I’ve since found out she’s set up 6 of these, all failed), the trail of broken friendships and destruction, temporary dead end jobs, all of it someone else’s fault....she’s still at it now. The lack of empathy at my Dad’s funeral finally made me end it.
People who have NPD do not , cannot , succeed in life, and this chap has given the best analysis of the condition I have ever heard. Thank you so much for the clarity.
He is spreading false information. Narcissists can be succesfull. Many are politicians, journalists, leaders and own their own business. I find it weird that he is making statements so contradictory to common knowledge. I think he is the only professional I have seen or read making such a stupid, untrue claim.
I called The National Hotline for abuse 9 times during the last six months before I left him.
I had this in friend everyone like and we were close, so I thought. But I always felt he missed what I expected as a close friend and thought something was off. I even told a nrw friend of his about how odd he was and of. course they didn’t believe me and didn’t like me for that and it got back to this narc friend. For some reason, he kept me away from his new friends and at first I was offended. On and he didn’t have any empathy and he wen back home to Wisconsin for his mother’s funeral. When he came back, it was like the funeral was nothing major.
After I decided this friendship of 10 years was going nowhere and I was tired of dropping clues and what I wanted in a friendship. We stored at the same storage and he told me he moved his stuff out and no longer at that storage place. Then I see him there and I mentioned about him telling me he no longer was at that storage. Of course he denied saying that, but it didn’t make a difference whether he was there or not. Made me think why did he lie about that?
Anyway, one day I was at the storage and the manager asked me if I knew this person and i said yes. He told me that my friend allegedly killed someone that was a senior and had stage 3 cancer. Someone he met and started helping, like get food for them and help run errands. When I heard this, I was not surprised and he ended up going to jail for the crime and he tried to cash checks of this person he killed and was seen on camera using his atm card. He used to tell me when o had trouble with ppl. to kill them with a hammer, well this senior was killed with a mallet. And he was a apt. manager and a few had died and once he said the person that died had given him his car. But now it seems like he may have killed these 2 that died.
He alway made things up as he went and much of it mad me no sense to me. But others he knew and spoke with are everything he said up. Made me realized how stupid ppl. can be. When I try to warn ppl. about ppl. like this guy, ppl. usually don’t believe me bc their ego approves and feel they they made a great judgement on these types. He also thought he was so smart and maybe I’m also a narcs bc I thought he was so stupid and could believe he had so many fooled.
This is not a narcissist. He is a psychopath.
I think he's definitely correct about the fact that they aren't successful in the common way we often think of when we think of what that is. The Narcs I know aren't. They aren't organized enough, conscientious enough, etc. They aren't doing things in a way that would logically be necessary to achieve long term success.
Was he is saying is not true. Many narcississts hold high positions. I don't understand why he doesn't know what everybody else knows. It's actually weird that he has no clue in my opinion.
I know I may have NPD when I am so comfortable with apologizing for my mistakes because I know I'd never feel sincere about it and I'd never share that fact with the other person, therefore, believing what I'm doing is no harm done.
My ex narcissist boyfriend cheated with a borderline personality younger woman. She stalked us for months. He never allowed me to go to the police too . And in my opinion the borderline was also narcissistic. Because when I met her she attack me verbally and showed no mercy . He picked me up for church she was hatefully ran me off to a cafe down the street. And told the narcissist I wasn’t HIS RESPONSIBILITY!
I confirmed that my buddy at work was a complete narcissist when he was driving alongside the road and he hit a guy with his mirror he stopped walked up to the guy and said did you just hit my car
😂😂😂😂😂
One of the most disturbing things when it comes to experts discussing narcissism is their tendency to invalidate their potential victims.
Yes, the term narcissist is overused these days and sometimes people label others as narcissist because of a few instances of narcissistic behaviors. There could certainly be more discretion.
Still, there are also true victims of abusive narcissists and constantly discrediting and invalidating people who are targets of narcissists is like victim blaming.
If you have been in a marriage with real narcissist or if you grew up with a narcissistic parent it’s unfair to constantly be met with skepticism by professionals in the field.
The people I know that are narcissist are very successful.
Materially successful, very often.
Yes, extensive research indicates that narcissists often excel in their careers and personal pursuits such as sports and hobbies. This success is likely because they thrive in competitive environments.
However, they tend to struggle in close relationships due to their self-absorption and lack of empathy, which are crucial for building strong personal connections. Therefore, the speaker's claim that narcissists aren't successful is inaccurate according to the research.
Same here. One of them has a clinical diagnosis of NPD and he is very successful. He does have interpersonal conflicts at work, several people have unfortunately quit as a result of his management style.
As a professional I must value your educated opinion. But I'd like to share my side as only educated by 40 hours a week studying narcissism personality disorder. I was married to him for 36 years, he married at age ,30, no one ever questioned if he should be evaluated. I can tell you, our relationship from beginning to end was a 40 year nightmare of a bit of heaven smothered in hidden psychological abuse, only he and I know he's the culprit, but it is 100% denied.
I was born into a family of narcs, mother sister and brother.. Thankfully close to my father, although he lost a battle with leukemia at 54, I was 27. I had his stability growing up. My mother had her star dancer, and her prodigal son came next. I was the end product of a miscarriage she suffered. We were not celebrated Rainbow babies, we were replacements of one who should still be there. You had to live it to get it I guess. I wished I never asked why there was an extra year between kid #2 & #3
I think a child of a npd person can mirror that npd parent for not having been taught another way ,but this can look like npd where actually that person is a empath trying to get better understanding and insight myself thank you for you knowledge
Omg! This lecturer mimic them exactly. Just like my ex
Thanks for the video
He told me oh sweet I had to start dating (the borderline) because you were not stable . Like a borderline personality is stable ! Stalking us constantly. Geez ! Now who’s crazy ! Letting a crazy borderline get away with harassment and stalking??? That’s not stable to allow a borderline to do this .
I disagree. An npd who is a covert can hide their true selves from people who are not intimates
They sure can. “Cover” yesss you’re absolutely correct. ua-cam.com/video/JdVOFwalQEw/v-deo.html
@Anna Banana #ABSOLUTELY Especially when your NPD
person is your mom or dad.
@@janec.kowalczyk5824 it’s a very isolating feeling when you know a different reality than everyone else. It is terrible when it is your parents. A real nightmare
I was in a relationship with a covert, malignant narcissist for 18 years and can confirm this.
@Jane C. Kowalczyk Or spouse, in some cases.
This just reminded me of my ex who was convinced he would be a famous dancer, he even tried to create his own wikipedia page putting his biography and shit; and meanwhile he had no meaningful dance skills, nor was he trying to learn.
Thank you 💕
I wish they would have a phycology course in middle school on this subject however there is denial in the person who has been groomed
So I may be dealing with a sociopath. He meets all these traits but he is charming and has good work ethic. Its a supply to him, he see them below him. And I suppose I always seen him through his eyes. That he held the moon. Can you have a co dependent narcissist?
Narcissists are codependant!!!
Yes, they are because they require narcissistic supply to maintain their grandiose false self.
can you imagine the speaker going through a break up a smiling the whole way through his speech 🤣🤣🤣
In Donald Trump 's case, the comparison is unfair. His wealth and social contacts were inherited.
They call it TDD
TYJ whats Impossible with man is Possible with GOD!! TY I hav learned sooo much as a family,, like any family member who is sick our Fam will stick 2 gether and NOT let the "sick one" Control the LOVE and forgiveness and support and peace and JOY OUR Family shows 2 each one ❤ 😊 ♥ 👇🙏🙏💯
Success is not a word we use to describe completing suicide.
Yes, if you are 20 years old and fall for such a guy ... then , okay. You fall for many different people when you are young ,some you today , make the sign of the cross, just thinking about them . It's now 30 years later and the last 12 years spent on that shit,(with kids)it can be a serious problem.Adults also fall for "such people"(are you lucky,you can come out on the other side,with great insight into yourself,and what/who you are. On the same level that a good LSD trip can give you!)
Wonderful lecture!
I had to look if this was really old. Of course there are financially successful NPD. True could have been more successful since they use failure as attention if all else fails but yes “covert” (whatever term u want use for the not in your face Narcissist) successful then flip to victim etc. so cld be more successful and plenty of overt are financially successful.
Guess I will read comments to see if it is a waste time to watch this lecture.
Male NPD, father clinically diagnosed with Antisocial, son NPD with Antisocial traits. Horrible genetic mix.Heavy weed consumption started at 22.
How can you build empathy in NPD, they’re not going miss they never had?
my wife has all 9 in spades. She went off the rails this year...quit her job of 16 years...alienated her 4 adult children and tried to beat my brains in...so I left her after 36 years of marriage. She want to know why I left.
😂😂😂😂
Good talk
I really don't like the way he sees his patients as pathetic and losers - I guess the functioning narcissists don't seek help, but that's not the same as saying 4hat they are not there - just look at the presidents of America.
With his negative attitude toward his patients, and his lack of empathy for them, I suspect himself to be a functioning narcissist
I thought he displayed a lot of empathy for those with npd, , saying they can’t help it, and they were sympathetic characters as in deserving of sympathy.....
I couldn't agree more, this guy takes joy in discussing how bad they are at life.
@@algie1238 how
Micheal Park….. I ‘ve listened to this several times now, and yes, I can see he is mocking of npd sufferers, ( he does also say that they are deserving of sympathy as ‘they had the crap abused out of them’. Mixed messages I know. But yes, it is quite unprofessional at times.
@@candiceberg5232 but it is the truth...it is your problems that you don't accept the truth
There are just too many inaccuracies in this video.
Exactly, extensive research indicates that narcissists often excel in their careers and personal pursuits such as sports and hobbies. This success is likely because they thrive in competitive environments.
However, they tend to struggle in close relationships due to their self-absorption and lack of empathy, which are crucial for building strong personal connections. Therefore, the speaker's claim that narcissists aren't successful is inaccurate according to the research.
my ex narc managed to become the president of many organizations . I was on the board a writers a board with him . Until the end of his term when he had turned every board member against me and voted me off
You need an audience mic or repeat the question. It only makes 1/2 sense this way
this is what is going on with Trump except he inherited millions
Ummmm you can be diagnosed with a personality disorder at any age if youve never sought treatment before ever
My ex narcissist boyfriend argued politics all night long
I was enjoying your video until you said narcissist are never successful which is incorrect cause most narcissists have high ranking jobs and very successful. NPD can look like anyone. It can be the unemployed loser, the head doctor at hospital or the parent that is at all your games cheering you on. That’s why it’s so hard to detect
Nobody should be giving lectures about BS in books. If you haven't lived with or been in a relationship with a Narcissist, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT! There's the truth!!!
Totally my father is narcissist he has only diploma my sister is also narcissistic and she failed highs school and college
I can only be thankful for the wisdom learnt...otherwise 20+ years wasted wanting to make my mother a woman,zwhen she is a devil..I Am disgusted with her really and it is sad for a parent to provoke the child to be this angry to the point a child looks at the parent with disgust,,I refuse to look at her because I ran away and I am in a different country,, I am a feeling person,,with soo much feelings,and she is opposite that..safe to say her mission was to finish me..but I ran away
I would hope and think that they would not abuse do to being abused,but they go onto abuse horribly
I'm 2022 it is rare to find women that are not narcissist in 2022
Treating patients in a program described as serving indigents and those without the personal financial resources to pay for their own treatment has a good bit to do with why the speaker is unfamiliar with financially successful narcissists I think
Agreed.
Agreed. Many narcissists are quite successful. HG Tudor does a better job explaining narcissism.
ZERO EMPATHY, they see and use people as objects
Incorrect, extensive research indicates that narcissists often excel in their careers and personal pursuits such as sports and hobbies. This success is likely because they thrive in competitive environments.
However, they tend to struggle in close relationships due to their self-absorption and lack of empathy, which are crucial for building strong personal connections. Therefore, the speaker's claim that narcissists aren't successful is inaccurate according to the research. This doesn’t mean all narcissists are successful only that it’s not unusual.
"deviates markedly from the individuals culture"....are you sure?
🤔🙌
No one:
Me: I think some of the speaker’s words were lacking compassion and empathy. I also think that the target audience was treaters, family, and loved ones of people that may have this disorder or traits. I wonder what the presentation would sound like if the 90 some people in the audience were all diagnosed with NPD and he knew that going into the presentation. He was self-aware though that his incongruent affect can be off putting.
good for you for recognizing it
When you BELIEVE a NON-REALITY:
you ARE de.lusional !!!!!
All very accurate however you say the word success incorrectly. You never mention how many successful people who have money never seek help to even be diagnosed and treated. Please correct this thanks.
This was disheartening to watch. The stigma on personality disorders is so horrible already and so many professionals even continue to spread it, because of their own experience. The joking and laughing and making fun of disordered people is really not laughable or educational. What happened here was a room full of people that learned to not look deeper into who these people are aa individuals. We are all different. We are not monsters and women with BPD are not hardly all partiers...actually quite the opposite. So much miseducation continuing to spread. I really hope the world can start to understand just because we function differently,doesn't make us bad people. Many non disordered people are bad people, or partiers...this is not exclusive to disordered people. We also have feelings. Sigh this was horrible to watch.
ua-cam.com/video/JdVOFwalQEw/v-deo.html every Ns game explained in under 10 minutes 👌🏾
As a person who was injured by a person with NPD, I whole heartedly agree with you 100%.
I love the audience that won't be quiet lol was it one person or what omg please
People with NPD can actually be very successful but you often have to look at how they became that way to get the full picture. A lot of manipulation, purposeful actions in certain dynamics, and drive towards being better than everyone else to feed their narcissism.
Wrong. Some of them are successful. A well known psychologist says he has it and mybex was a covert narcissist who liled to play the teacher's pet role and was able to get through school fine, with decent grades and even became a chiropractor and had NPD. So there are two examples that show a lazy man rule like that is misleading. It shows a lack of insight, whatever his "experience". And that for me is a large eclipse of a small sample size, but at a minimum limits his utility. Wrong, wrong, wrong. It may be true for some but there are at least some that like to perform or use that as their outlet or whatever.
I feel like doctors always take the most uniformly low-functioning examples of any disorder as the model they want to present, but people can have uneven spikes in their areas of competence and incompetence and still have the disorder.
My mom is a big failure because of this disorder,,and she has tortured everyone even setting me up for failure....she will not accept the defeat,,she is alone with her psycho son who is going to eat her...indeed none is successful in this disorder
Wrong.
@@KN-os1pv wrong is a parent choosing her innocent child to compare her life with,wrong is her confronting me to anger, wrong is making me more stressed than orphans..I Am no different than them yet parents are there...but you are amongst these parents😂😂😂
@@angecynthia347 Many narcissists are successfull in the world, his statement is very inaccurate. What I meant by writing wrong is his untrue statement about narccissists not able to succeed, many of them actually strive to succeed and is very occupied with studying and advancing in their career, because they want to be seen as the best. They use objects to abuse and to feel special: their job, their phone, their child, their friend are all objects and so on. Sorry that you had an abusive mother. Some narcissists are what we call collapsed narcissists, when they haven't succeeded with anything. They are addicted to their objects, for some of them it will be their job, for others it will be their drug and so on.
If you are really interested in studying NPD spend some time listening Professor Sam Vaknin. Most people with NPD are quite successful especially financially and only make up approx. 6% of the population or less. Personally from what I've listened to here so far quite frankly is dangerous information.
Yes, he is good. I also recommend Dr Mark Ettensohn. He specializes in the treatment of NPD and has a different approach than I’ve seen in the past.
Lol lady really, really wants him to diagnose Trump 🤣
Because most psychologists agree that he is a classic narcissist.
he gave only examples of male narsissits, not even one manifastation of female narsissist.
Omfg! I can't believe i am narcissist
Seek some help, begin healing.
Loop
Doubt narcissistic people run around thinking they can show up at some Fortune 500 company and step right in to CEO, and if you don't believe them, then there is something wrong with you. Had hope for this presenter. But he is way over the top. Too many of these types in this presentation area
It’s very disappointing to hear this professional call people w narcissistic personality disorder “bad people” “they’re just a mess” it lacks empathy and also sustains stigma etc. These people have clearly suffered childhood trauma so this guy is really unprofessional. Also, his examples and analogies aren’t great/or convincing at all.
58
I dont think this guy is well educated about this topic sadly :( Has more like general info.
I dont like the diagnostic manual. Its really dogmatic and rigid.
People have mixed personality traits and present in multiplicity of shapes and forms. Labels cant really help anyone. Narcissistic personality disorder often do achieve they are encouraged by society.
Totally, this is a narcissistic CULTure and the false matrix rewards narcissistic behaviors.
This is an unfortunately misguided and poor representation of the disorder. It adds to stigma. NPD is a debilitating condition, but people can get better. The key things that people with NPD need are empathy and compassion. I am not finding either of these in this presentation.
I doubt if that will help someone who thinks he/she is better than everyone else.
I get the impression that this speaker has a low opinion of women
Quite the opposite , he always referred to the npd persons being males, and he seem to play to his overwhelmingly female audience. According to his own figures, 30 percent of npd sufferers are female, ie one third, that’s not a tiny minority.
What you are saying is completely and utterly not true. Rich and succesfull people can be narcissists. The fact that they - as most narcissists - don't go to any kind of therapy is why you don't get to see the successfull ones. What you see are those that are having a narcissistic collapse. Listen to some of the other experts and you will get wiser. It is worldknown that narcissists quite often are politicians, journalists, surgeons, leaders, owning their own business etc. So stop telling people false things that are simply not true.
cant listen to this guy.
Why?
@@MichaelDHockenberry because the speaker is speaking about ghastly syndrome that destroys people, while using bland, glib wit and a smile.
@@TinaSotis Ghastly syndrome? Is that considered “narcissistic personality disorder”?
Sorry for my late understanding, the seventh grade was the best three years of my life.
@@MichaelDHockenberry omg - I meant "A" ghastly syndrome. NPD is A ghastly syndrom. There's no such thing as 'ghastly syndrome." Sorry about that! :-)
He is also wrong. There are real experts and researchers who would disagree with several key things that he says.
LMAO. Wer So LAME. 😆
Hmmmm.... I was interested until you referred to Christians as ' delusional'.
How is it not delusional to believe in something for which there is no evidence?
Not true narcissistic people are most caring about other people 's emotions. only time they lose is they feel like someone has taken advantage of them
They wear a mask and pretend to be nice.
Not true! I live with a narcissist. He seemed caring of my and other's emotions in beginning. He was attentive, helpful and thoughtful while he was trying to reel me in or impress or fool others! Soon as he had me "hooked" and living together and pregnant his behavior slowly changed for the worse! Any promises made were broken and ignored such as helping with daily chores, groceries, shopping cooking, laundry, cleaning, bills etc. Before that we spent every minute together. At this time we had no house phones or cell phones. I was 8 mos pregnant and had no way to call anyone if I went into labor! He wasn't considerate of my feelings or well being at all. I couldn't understand why his behavior changed like that. Didn't know what narcissism was-never heard of it! I came from a marriage with DV, cheating, lying so it was nice to have someone sweet and attentive the first few months. The relationship seemed to grow and change for the better at first and I thought I had finally found the "one"! Intimacy was fantastic as he was very attentiveness. I was a victim of SA at age 5yo by a relative who was 45yo! I'm 70 now and still have trust issues. It caused much damage emotionally. Still together after 25+ yrs but not great. He flys I to a rage when confronted about his behavior! Refuses to talk about anything, work on anything or admit and take responsibility for anything. He doesn't think he does anything wrong! Now he displays this behavior in front of our kids! I'm disabled now and don't think I can live alone...he's ruined all our lives, doesn't seem to care and makes no effort to improve the situation. All the classic signs!
This guys idea of a NPD person is very narrow.
Exactly. According to him the last el presidente does not have NP D; he absolutely has NP D. Grandiose malignant in fact.