Even if they steal? Even if they pawn your shit? Even if they secretly write down your credit cards and max them out? Even if they take a loan out in your name and never pay it? Even if they use your car and get in a hit and run? Even when they lie about having a job? I DID help family.
Everyone on here saying he is wrong for not helping his family, y’all are probably one of those manipulative family member’s. My husband and I live farrrrr away from manipulative relatives.
The crazy thing is, some KNOW they’re the ones doing this, and some others LET their ego keep them in the dark. Responsibility vs. blame is a greate video on the YT actualized.org channel. There are so many resources and knowledge out there(free!) so there isn’t an excuse.
It would be a funny situation if someone had parents as irresponsible and manipulative and abusive as his but who had all the money they needed. I mean, many probably do, but his situation may make someone think that only money can cause problems like this.
@@Accidentlly0nPurpose Why, and how, do so many manage to turn everything into a political comment???!!! I'm sick of it. I detest politics. It breeds mistrust, destroys lives and tears families and friends apart. It kills people too. Inc those whom risk their lives daily to save those such as yours! If what recently occurred in Capitol Hill has not taught anyone anything about the dangers of politics, (religion elsewhere too), then it is a double tragedy from a profoundly powerful horrific lesson unlearned. Why does every individual have their individuality erased by the grouping into two sides? Why are people either on Left or Right? What ever happened to the middle and balance? It must be very wobbly and tiring deciding which leg to stand on. I agree with William Mills and others stating this is not the place for a political post. Were it not for recent events, I would have ignored it. But there is no "lol". There is nothing funny. And I just had to address it....sorry about that to others though!
As someone that had been here: not a legend. Masochistic? Yeah. There is nothing legendary about hurting yourself over and over again. Getting out of it: that's a good thing.
@@JoshuaFluke1 Hey man. Very fucked up what you're going through. A big part of the reason why most professional athletes end up broke is exactly this kind of thing. Their families and those around them expect to have the good life and for them to maintain and spoil them, and it's not easy to maintain a village, even if you're a millionaire, especially when the going gets tough (which it will). It's also hard to get your shit in order if the people you are supporting don't have their shit in order. I think you should watch the movie What's Eating Gilbert Grape if you haven't already. It's about this exact kind of situation where one guy has to burden the weight of his entire family which only leads to resentment and the further degeneration of their relationship. It also offers some glimmer of hope on how to escape this kind of trap, and move on from it. Really think you'd get a lot of value from it.
Once i met a guy at a gas station in jacksonville. He had a guitar on his back and struck up a little conversation. He told me about how he played with the "spoon lady" and seemed so proud of it. I thought it was kinda weird but i looked up "spoon lady" when i got home and now im jealous of him lol.
@@JoshuaFluke1 those last texts sent to you mom were gross. Unfortunately when she is gone, that's what you will have to look back on. I can say from experience (& I've gone thru stuff with family that is beyond disturbing), that no matter what, it's not worth it. Fix it while you still can. Not with $, but whatever else.. or regret will be there waiting at the end. ✌🏼&💚💛💚
This is abuse. Don’t have contact with them, get yourself some therapy, they’ve damaged you emotionally a lot. The statements you make are that of an abused person. You’ve done nothing wrong. You’re loveable and don’t need to chase expectance nor are you a victim anymore and can move forward. Cheers to being a victor!
Having a toxic family is a slow death. People who have never had to deal with it will never understand. My family are the people I chose to be in my life not the people I just happen to be related to by blood.
This is a bad way, generally speaking there are some times it's best like this kid. But generally family is family no matter what. You wouldn't want your child ghosting you bc you disagree with something they are doing. Your it's parent
I'm 40 years old and it took me 40 years to walk away from my biological family...my childhood resulted in me having Borderline Personality Disorder, OCD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and PTSD. BLOOD DOES NOT MAKE A FAMILY, ONLY UNCONDITIONAL LOVE CAN MAKE A FAMILY...and I received it from my husband's family for the last 20 years. My MIL is my best friend!!!
You use the term UNCONDITIONAL love yet apparently you place conditions on loving your dad? Not saying hes innocent of anything or that you are wrong, only that your logic is flawed.
@@iversonlopez8538 Unconditional love means theres no conditions. Yet shes obviously placed conditions on loving her father. So she expects love unconditionally but is unwilling to love that way herself. Whats so hard about that. FLAWED LOGIC, but at least she has logic.
This 100%. I resorted to recording conversations and writing down everything that happened in the moment and then going back to it a week or month later to review what happened. Or how it came about, because in the moment you think you are or *could* be wrong - you are so emotionally invested, but the reality is they are nuts.
Josh, abuse dynamics are inter-generational. It’s cult-like. They won’t change AND they will only break you down. Stay strong and minimize interaction so you can build your own life.
Yes. The family that encourage this madness to continue have been conditioned to think this is normal. Don't listen to them. Its inter-generational. That's why its so hard to break out. You don't find any support inside the family for this very reason.
Any angst Josh feels from this point forward from his family will be his own fault. You cannot put your hand back on a hot stove and not expect to get burned.
@@detroitbaby161 You kidding me? Something tells me you've never been in a similar situation where you were forced to disown your family for your own well being. To say there would be no angst after that point is simply asinine and borderline sociopathic due to complete lack of empathy. WTF is wrong with you??
@@shadelings You have no idea. I came out of a severely physically and emotionally abusive family. There’s a time when you have to let yourself heal by moving away
@@detroitbaby161 I'm very sorry to hear that. And that's very true about healing but to make such a black and white statement that there should be no more angst/anxiety, etc after the point where one removes oneself from such a toxic familial situation just seems awfully severe to the point of being devoid of empathy.
the other option is forcing the kid to sign complete control of their bank accounts over to them. then forcibly remove him from the equation, society today will just chalk it up to suicide.
You made a very hard decision but the right decision. There are many people in the same situation that admire your courage and who knows, maybe these videos give them what they need to step up.
I’ve never been in that position, but to me it isn’t that hard to decide, you are your own person and responsible for yourself, helping family is okay to a certain extent, but not when you’re drowning yourself, he cares about his family and it would be best if he took care of himself because that’s what being an adult is about, once you’re 18 you don’t have any responsibilities to no one except the law, when you realize that your family is toxic and taking advantage of you just walk away and don’t look back, leave the door open if they change, but it’s their choice if they do, if they steal then call the police, if they insult you block them, it’s for their own good, they shouldn’t associate their love with how much money their son gives them, maybe later things will change like they always have.
That’s right! Abusive parents, brothers, wives, lovers, friends are everywhere. Nice to help them when they need you but if they abuse you just push the ignore button. So don’t feel bad.
@@BichaelStevens very funny. You do you. My point about the 2nd commandment was exactly Katie Smith's comment; i.e. I was agreeing with her. For Christians, we believe that humans are created in the "Image of God". As such, we are supposed to represent God to others through virtues. When we sin (lie, steal, kill, et al), we misrepresent God and are not living up to our duties as divine ambassadors. This is even graver when people claim to kill in God's name. This is exactly what's wrong with Joshua's family (grandma in particular). They are using God's name to try and assert unjust control and to steal from him.
I’m so f*cking grateful that I grew up with kind, loving parents that have always been a role model in my life.... I’m so sorry to all the other kids that didn’t have good parents. I hope you’re all living happy, healthy lives.
Thank you! Actually, I honestly believe that if I hadn’t cut communication with my family, I wouldn’t be financially stable now. They would have sucked my life down with theirs.
@@alexandrapower6445 PFFFFFFFFT! No one held a gun to his head. He's finally wised up, but cannot claim abuse. He WAS the better person, until he started spillin tea on youtube.
@@russellswonderfullyweirdwo8493 No one needs to hold a gun to your head. There are different weapons like using the suicide of a friend as emotional leverage to get you to "save" the other person. Or just because you are too kind and feel you really should help before you eventually realise you really should not. In the UK, financial behaviour as this is legally classified as abuse if using emotional leverage, (Inc religion), and/or against a vulnerable person. Maybe US is different. It's not am offence if a cheque bounces in UK But I understand it is total opposite in US? Everywhere is different. But it's still financial abuse Yes he escaped despite the initial obvious pain in doing so. That takes courage to walk away from when they meant so much to through life. Only to betray you. But it takes something really bad to push you to that extreme anyway. He did good. And him "spilling it all over UA-cam" is not only good for him emotionally and financially, (not continuing to lose money because of them by giving it to a therapist instead), but is helping others too. So many thinking it was only them, now realise differently. Anything helping another is good
@@alexandrapower6445 Oh your in the UK nuff said. Yeah sorry two wrongs dont make a right. They were greedy yes, he helped them more than I personally would have, that was his choice. But as much as they used him for money, he's doing the same with pity clout. EXCEPT they never publicly defamed him. Maybe someone should help them make a youtube channel. REALLY get some youtube drama going for clicks and sympathy...
@@russellswonderfullyweirdwo8493 I am unsure what ".. from UK."nuff said" implies, if anything at all? I don't make such comments to those elsewhere. I'm unsure what the "two" wrongs are otherwise I would agree. Defamation necessitates slander or libel. False or manipulated allegations for the purpose of destroying a person's true character. There is no defamation because he evidenced everything with text communication screenshots. He has not lied or stated anything not evidenced. As you stated earlier, he eventually "came to his senses" and did the sensible thing. You don't agree with him talking about a subject which is usually kept silent. There's nothing wrong in having an opinion. You're fully entitled to yours and don't need anyone telling you otherwise. My opinion is that he has opened up a subject which is helping many whom thought they were alone. Plus he's expressing the emotions of it all from Day 1 to final acceptance. He's not just saving a fortune on useless therapy but is additionally helping others on this painful subject too. That's just mine, and many others opinion. You have a right to think differently too. It does not necessitate disparaging comments. Yes. I am from UK. And it feels the same to experience here as it does to those in US. It helps to hear another's experience. If it was not substantiated with evidence, then that would be an entirely different story and I have absolutely no doubt that they would have sued him in a heartbeat were that the case. Only the evidence proves they haven't a leg to stand in. They're horrible, greedy people with no compassion. What is far worse to me personally is not money it's that they revealed total absence of care re his mental or physical health. Were he a working horse, they'd have been flogging it until it took its last step. Then left it to die or shot it. No longer useful to them. I get why some think as you do. But many out there are helped when realising it's not just them and their feelings are validated. Or they learn what they have to do and what to expect to feel when doing so. That has to be better than keeping silent. They don't deserve anonymity over helping others. As long as it's not criminal, they do not get to decide how he chooses to deal with his pain. I do think the girlfriend and best friend story take it into a different category though. It serves no purpose other than to sadly detract from the originality and importance of the financial one. But we all make mistakes and he's suffered a lot of betrayal, but I hope he stays kind and rises above it outside of the family one.
When my adult children had to move back to my house because of COVID, I didn’t charge them rent or anything so they could work on getting new jobs. All are back working. My home is always theirs too. No one however has the right to treat you like their personal bank account. You take care and go on to have an amazing life with your own family ❤️
No contact is often the only way to deal with entitled narcissists..... Telling the truth is never wrong. Face it...you’re the scape goat child. Stay strong.
Being a recovering heroin addict myself, as well as having lazy, entitled family, I can say I've seen people waste this much who are not on drugs. I swore up and down my step sister was on drugs because she had every sign, and only an addict can go through that much money, but they shocked me. It's easy to waste so much money. Great job on staying clean, and congrats on being one of the strongest people in a first world country. Getting clean is nearly impossible, and most can't do it. Keep up the fantastic work!
There is nothing wrong with helping parents who can't help themselves but these are people who have proven they have no intentions of taking care of themselves.
A good friend of mine had parents that were a lot like this and he ended up committing suicide. This is no joke and people who haven't had to deal with toxic family members will never know the struggle.
@Josef If ur contemplating suicide, then you've already given everything you have except ur own life. They shall not take that too. F that. F them. You have every right now. Undoubtedly. To be your own man. Someone's gotta save u. Where are they? They don't care about u. It's up to you. Be free. Cut off the poison. You can't help them. Help yourself. Take it from someone who has been through it. Stick with yourself for a while. All that weight on ur back has made u strong and it's time to build ur life. Watch out for other vultures trying to fill the void. They can sense the prey animal in u. Give it time on ur own
yeah i have parents and brother like this as well. they always used to put me down. and they kept insulting me. then my wife came into my life and she pushed me to get my post university job. finally i got an offer. and the same parents constantly insulting me and demanding me to give them all my money while they spend their wealth on my brother. they never even spend $5 on a gift for me or my wife. but they keep asking for $300 per month regardless of our situation. and now my wife works and they want her to pay as well. and i couldn't take it anymore so we moved out and we pay way more in rent for the peace of mind that we get living alone together.
Josh, as a mother, my heart breaks for you. I wish you didn't have to go through all of that pain from your family. You deserved better from so-called family. You are a strong, brave young man. Keep your chin up and know that lots of us care and want to see you succeed. Stick to your decision. It was the right one.
People keep forgetting that you don’t get to choose if you want to be born into this world. You don’t owe your parents anything especially based on the way they treated you.
You do owe your parents because they gave you the ability for life, but if they refuse to treat you like an individual after you are 24, they are hurting the relationship. If your parents treat you with respect and compassion, it is your job to take care of them, when they can’t take care of themselves as they did for you. If they fail to raise you or treat you with respect, you don’t owe them anything. Like all relationships it is a get what you give situation.
@@anonymousguy720 if you want to help them do so, if not, don't. It is still there job to setup a financially secure future for themselves. Children are not retirement plans.
@@anonymousguy720 "Because they give you the ability for life" is not true. I hear this all the time from my parents, and from other parents as well. But that ain't true. Why? Because, those parents always say "I have given you the ability for life" after they have treated their kids like s**t, beat them up badly for no reasons(or just because they are mad at each other, or the father got drunk), etc.... In short, if you can choose your parents, then you do owe them something. If you can't, you don't owe them anything, just because they "give birth" to you. I haven't even mentioned the fact that parents in my country are very irresponsible for their actions. They always say one thing and do another, show their kids bad examples of themselves. But when their kids learned from their examples, the parents always say "We did not teach you to be a bad person", and i was like "Really"????
@@anonymousguy720 The onus isn't on the offspring to care for the needs of the parents, especially at the behest of their psychological and financial detriment. The decision to undergo a pregnancy is not partaken by the one being conceived, therefore they are not complicit in any of the consequences associated with their own procreation. A child is not a lifetime indentured servant to their parents desires, if your motivation for having children is as a future safety net for your own negligence then that's nothing more than exploitation and DCFS needs to abrogate you of your custodial rights.
Showing wounds, always attracts predators, especially in the narcissistic survivor community. Sorry you're having to deal with these bottom feeders. I've been no contact for almost six years. I didn't leave to hurt them, I left so they couldn't hurt me any more. Stay strong, you're an inspiration!
“They brought you into this world”. Right. As a mother, I understand this so much differently now. I brought my son into this world. It wasn’t his choice, it was mine. He asked for none of my BS, he just wants love. Sure, I brought him into this world, he owes me nothing, I owe him everything. You owed your parents nothing. Your parent didn’t birth a meal ticket. If a son or daughter chooses to help their parents, great. They don’t owe them. That ‘they brought you into this world’ is the greatest form of manipulation and needs to stop.
You are all so right. I grew up around a lot of super religious people too who believed that you owed your very life to your parents....I realized that was a very manipulative mindset when I became a parent. The way I see it is if my son wants to help me in my old age, cool, but I could never expect that of him. I don’t think it’s right to think that way at all. Guess it took growing up and starting to think for myself to realize it, as sad as that sounds. It irks me to no end to hear someone try and guilt anyone into ‘owing’ another person anything, especially when a relationship is so obviously toxic. I know that the decision to cut off a toxic family relationship is never an easy decision, I guess I just feel this whole video a lot because I’ve been on both sides of the relationship, as a mom and as a daughter (luckily after years of not speaking my folks and I were able to work it out but that’s not always the case).
Dude, I just randomly got recommended this video and let me say one thing: YOU ARE NOT A BAD SON. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON FOR NOT HELPING WITHOUT LIMITS. And you don't have to explain yourself to any of us. Take some time to be selfish. You've earned it. Give yourself some time to heal.
People who give the cliche lines about helping family have clearly never been in your shoes. I know what it’s like. Although, I am really sorry for your experiences, it is strangely comforting to know that I am not alone. Thanks for posting.
Any time I've heard a family talk strongly about how family should always be there, it's been from the family members that steal, use, and abuse the families kindness. I don't expect blind loyalty from anyone and I dont need to because I'm not an asshole.
@@angelbrumfield6134 thank you 🙏🏾 !!!! That applies to my own mom as well, she told me weeks ago « I made you so that when you grow up you can take care of me » like I’m a slave and I told her « no that doesn’t work like that ».
They brought you into this world. It's THEIR responsibility to care about your mental health and not gaslight and manipulate you. You are their CHILD, not their Slave to Sponge off of.
@Kitty It's absolutely disgusting how commonplace this kind of behavior and mentality this has become.... These kinds of so called "family" members make me fucking sick
@@slindilengema9389 I know exactly where you're coming from on that one. She's wrong, and if she's going to act that way and have that kind of mentality, then there's no point in trying to say anything to someone like that and you don't owe her shit.
You can tell he's been abused, he always feels the need to have proof and gather proof, I know exactly how he feels and if your reading this I am so glad your out of it and you did the right thing just keep on doing you! ❤️
I dont know how I found you but this is the first video of yours I have seen. I wish I could give you a hug. I have an amazing family that I feel so lucky to be a part of. I wish I could share that with you. Just know that you have every right to separate yourself from that environment without feeling guilt or obligation.
thats the point of evangelicals. either take religion to the word like Westboro, Mormons or Jehova Witnesses, or never read the bible at all like these kinds of "Christian" families.
@@johnbilljapaneselove That is not true. Westboro do not represent christianity! I'm sorry if you have had bad experiences with people who profess to be christians. People who really follow Christ follow his example and put others before themself, love their neighbour, are humble and giving. God bless
Exactly. It’s not uncommon for narcissists and manipulators to invoke God to present themselves in a false light. It is absolutely reprehensible. God does not smile on their sin.
No-no-no. Not all given out of kindness. Sometimes obligation and commitment are above of kindness. You don't have to be a kind person to have a kid. It's good if you're kind. Your kid will become a better person. But a basic parent is a responsible parent. That is the most important thing.
@@maheshpadmanabh6564 parents are not the same for everyone, quite a few are abandoned, or just get abuse from them, as the saying goes "mileage will vary".
Honestly mean no offence by this, but it really sounds like at least one of your parents has a drug problem. How can they spend that amount of money each month its absolutely nuts
Josh you look way happier and healthier. When I first started watching your videos, you seemed depressed and super negative. Now you look like you're living your life. I'm so happy for you :)
He does though right? He seems to have more resolve too. It's not hard to say he made the right decision.... Holy sheeeit.... • Stole Credit Cards • Took a Loan out in his name • Let Daughter steal car and wreck it (while in Josh's name -- guess who got the bill) • Months of Mooching (Rent + Insurance + CIgarettes + Food [Burgers🤣] + Gas Money + More) • Multiple Trips • Happily Spent his Life Savings • Dad cashed in on multiple people at the same time • So many more
They who'd rather have someone who's barely starting his life to go broke rather than themselves, people who gave already lived their lives. Selfish as fuck
I hope the people who think his parents deserve his submission get used like a doormat for the rest of their lives. If you are dumb enough to think a son or daughter should be abused just because they are related by blood then that’s the lowest standard of belief.
A lot of people cut off their families because of the way they treat them, its sad on both ends because their family is acting that way to their own family members and you having to go through that is just all sad
wow this is incredible, I just watched this recommended video on my youtube: ua-cam.com/video/TjtLDlz8yG4/v-deo.html and the same number 714 is here. that's actually such a weird coincidence, one video after the other. I'm SHOOK.
I have the same relations with my family. Mother always asked for money, I cut her off and she ended up getting murdered by a drugaddict. Father abused us as children, so stopped contacting him when I moved to my own home. Siblings asking for money to pay rent and to pay for drugs. But here I am together with gf for 10 years, done with education and have the best job ever. And just got into investment hoping to grow my money for a even brighter future. Wishing you all the luck, and keep staying strong. Blood is not always thicker than water as I use to say.
Hey man, you do sound like you're ok and everything but I hope you don't feel too bad about what happened with your mom. Like pretty much everyone else here I definitely get the bad family dynamics and everything, but that sort of thing can still leave you with some guilt or feeling like maybe you did the wrong thing. You seem happy otherwise though, I'm glad.
The Bible is the greatest tool in mankind ever created to gaslight others. In all honesty, I truly believe that's the only reason that our current Religions were created and still remain. They wash each others feet, and give pittance to the tithe to make themselves feel superior, have quotes on hand for any situation with the hypocrisy that the Bible is like Einsteins Theory of Relativity, that for every Bible verse supporting ones argument there's an equal and opposite verse that goes in the opposite direction... Except when it comes to abortion obviously, since it's literally only mentioned in the sense that if your wife sleeps with another man you should stone her till she miscarries. That's it. The Bible says nothing else in regards to abortion. It is a tool used to manipulate people and back it with The Magical Book of Morality. Josh shows it here. He even recited a verse back to his grandmother. And obviously she brushes it off because it doesn't go with her agenda. Don't ever read me a verse from the bible and connect it to how I should live my life. People like Joshua and myself are completely happy to love, care for, and help other people without the 100th revised copy of a book that was written by people who bathed once a week thousands of years ago. It's fucking irrelevant. I don't need to be scared of going to hell to be a Humanitarian. I'm cancelling the Bible. It's a mute point. You heard it here first. You can be spiritual. You can believe in whatever higher power you want. But a book about condemning someone to hell for being gay, with the next line saying if you eat a piece of shrimp you will equally and also be included in those that go to Hell is a book that should be read as fantasy and nothing more. Please, try to gaslight me with lines from a book that talk about stoning people. Old Testament, New Testament, I don't give a fuck. I grew up Catholic, it never made sense. I went to all the classes, obviously my mom never made me an Altar Boy so Bless her.. My mother still considers herself Catholic. Prays to Mary. That's all fine. But she also doesn't ever tell me that I need her god in my life, creating anxiety in me, being afraid of this god... **BUT LOVED TOO** ... It's all in Gods Plan that we've surpassed 300k deaths in America just from the Coronavirus alone.. God loves America, hates children in Uganda, wants kids in Yemen to die from malnutrition. That's his PLAAAAAN. SHUT the fuck up. God has no plan. If there's a god controlling things he's a sick motherfucker. More likely he's a sick motherfucker who made us in his image, spun the earth into motion, and took his hands off the wheel to watch the chaos. There very well may be a spiritual element, or a connection between humans that we can't explain and may never be able to. Or it's electrons in the air. Who knows at this point? Maybe the Earth truly is Gaia and we die, get recycled, and the Earth itself is a living being.. But there aint no mf who looks like us in the sky looking down and blessing anybody. There's luck and maybe some sort of Karma on this Earth, and the only reason I'm adding Karma is going back to Einsteins Theory of Relativity. "Karmic Science" Fuck your Bible verses. I have a bot on Discord that spits bullshit out from the bible when you type +random So now that we have AI that can spout bullshit, we don't need anymore Karens...
@@pretary1845 Man I am so sorry you and many many other people get that impression. Let me be clear the people who use the bible to manipulate will have their fill of the way they have chosen. We can debate the bible all day as you said for every argument for it there exists one against it. I am actually gonna use those words from now on lol that's a very good observation and I am glad I am not the only one who sees it.
Saddest 18 minute video I have ever watched. Bro I cried in the end. My heart dropped hearing you being the only one to ever care for your father and about everyone else in your family. Joshua, you are a great man dude, a great man. God bless you bro I will definitely keep you in my prayers and the day will definitely come when everyone realises what you have suffered for your family. Until then stay strong brother and let nothing put you down.
When my dad had cancer, my mom tried to use the sympathy card to get all of her relatives and kids to give her money saying the medical bills were so high. After we had given her thousands of dollars, we found out that she was going on shopping sprees and gambling. When I was a child, I only had one pair of clothes for the whole school year since my mom spent the money on dumb shit.
This is important to share here on UA-cam. It not only helps others who suffered from narcissistic family abuse but also might be therapeutic. From experience people (family, friends, bosses, etc...) who are psychologically and emotionally abusive need to be cut out of your life, there is very little chance of them changing. The only way to deal with them is to go no contact once you recognize them as such IMO. So glad you got away from your family and their chaos.
You did your best Josh. Cutting them off was the best decision because your resentment would have turned you into something really bad in the end. You deserve peace and happiness.
For the people responding "you gotta help family," you have to understand how much Joshua has endured and how these videos though they're not something that one publicly displays, are extremely helpful for others in similar situations and act as a channel of relief for Joshua. He has so much on his chest he could probably make 1000 videos. All those other UA-camrs who live perfect lives and feed their viewers a bs version of reality should thank people like Joshua for exposing the harsh realities of life.
Im glad you are fighting back. I heard this story so many times and It broke the backs of many. Keep fighting back. Family isnt defined by blood. I believe its about the people who truly love us.
Everyone says, "blood is thicker than water". What people do not understand is, this is not the actual adage. The full and original adage is, "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb", which essentially means the family you choose is more important than the family who birthed you. You do not owe anything to anyone, especially people that have done these things to you. Life is a 101 for everyone, it's everyone's first time around. No one has a clue as far as what's actually happening here so don't listen to anyone that pretends to know what's best for you. Even me, I'm just some guy on the internet, after all.
Lol he's exposing their abuse....everyone needs to expose their abusers. It passes through generations and there is always a scapegoat that is held accountable for others happiness. Its emotional blackmail and these people would see you dead, in exchange for a few bucks.....no empathy. I wouldn't doubt they are druggies....very reminscent of drug addicts.
When your family lies to you, ignores you, hurts you, disowns u "in the name of Jesus," yet you were basically the only "Jesus" they had, Much respect to you Josh.
Joshua doesn't owe anyone an explanation or "proof". It's your life and you make the decisions because YOU will reap the benefits and suffer the consequences, not the baboons in the UA-cam comments section (myself included).
Parents should be thankful that a life have come to their part of family. If u simply giving birth to child which u wanna bully and make him depress. Think like u own them like a property. U simply shouldn't give birth.
@@Lindormking89 i believe they should take care of each other mutually but dishonesty should not be the way. this video shows how dishonest they were to him
You are a surviver of emotional and financial abuse (perhaps even others). Your family has done a lot of damage and you were able to recognize, escape, and grow from it. That is commendable.
It’s not easy cutting a family member off. It’s probably one of the most difficult things to do. But it gets to a point where you have to choose between your inner peace and theirs. Josh, I really hope you find peace from all of this. I hope your family comes to the realization of their faults and own up to it, and change for the better one day.
His parents are drug attics, Pawnshop, stealing fraud, not paying bills,no work because drug attics can't hold down jobs. Desperate for the high they use every tactic to get money. Classic case.,
@@ancientbear3280 Makes even more sense now to know they are drug addicts. The only solution would be to cut them off entirely as to not continue to enable their behavior.
“Tough love from God is true.” Amen bro. Way to hold your integrity. Eventually it comes down to cutting family off for them to wake up from their delusion.
Sometimes not helping someone is helping them. How can we ever take care of ourselves if we are constantly waiting for someone else to do everything for us.
I remember when Josh tried to help his dad start a UA-cam channel but then he stopped uploading :( Having a family member or even a friend that has a following help and guide you on the youtube grind is literally blessing.
@@kataiho4405 I tried to explain this to him, but he just disappeared. All he had to do was talk. I edited, I filmed, I made thumbnails, I had the ideas.
They are often more toxic than other relationships because it is much harder to cut away the family that has brought you up as a young kid than it is to cut away a partner you've been with since you were 25 years old.
I was recommended some of these vids and I commend you for trying so long to help people who obviously did not want to help themselves. So glad you were able to finally cut them off. I had suspected they may have been using or dealing with some kind of addiction and unfortunately until they no longer have ANYONE enabling them AND they actually want to get help, things will just keep looping in an endless cycle like you've shown they already were months ago in your text messages.
"Giving money to someone who has a money problem is like giving a drink to someone with a drinking problem" - Dave Ramsey Good job Josh, you made the right decision.
My parents have had hard financial times and they have had to reach out to their kids for help in the past. But I feel very grateful to have the father I have. No matter what trouble he is in financially, no matter what problems are going on he tells me "don't worry about it, you rest, I will figure it out". I am so grateful to have a father who doesn't put his problems on his children. I know people who have to parent their own parents so I'm so happy my dad is the kind of parent who handles his own problems and takes on his responsibility so that I don't have to.
I’m very sorry this happened to you. I had to cut off my Mom because she was very manipulative and mentally ill and refused to get help for 17 years. I also want you to know that your grandma is not a true Christian. She is the kind of person that turn so many away from religion. My mother used similar tactics with me, and I hated Christianity for years. I’m so glad I’m a Christian again though 😌
I... I’ve never seen anyone else deal with this. I’ve thought about making my own YT videos about it. But the guilt just stops me every time... I can tell this all still hurts your heart. Because you feel like it was bad of you to do but at the same time you’re free. Hearing your experience actually makes me feel better about my own situation.
Kittie Marie....You are definitely not alone. Go for it. Make those videos. I am so grateful for discovering this young man and his videos. Only a few days ago too. During one of those moments when everything becomes very dark. I don't think he even realises the powerful gift he has given to so many whom he will never meet or even know. The biggest is the irony that, had he not done what he found so difficult and painful with those whom were breathlessly self-entitled parasites, devoid of Grace or Gratitude, he would never have instead found himself gifting so much to so many on a subject where so many have felt they were alone. The only ones silently going through similar. He has not only reclaimed his health emotionally, physically and financially; he has gifted so much that was needed to so many suffering silently, at no cost, and has earned countless genuine gratitude in return. I have a feeling he will soar to heights never dreamed of. I hope you do too.
You're not alone. I had my biological father lying to my face to try to make me hate my mother for years before I finally had the courage to cut that side of the family off at 16. There are so many more people suffering unfortunately, we are one of many, but I hope that those who haven't escaped see these videos and these comments and get the courage to do so
Look up refuge from a narcissist he does videos about it he talks about his own life and then people send recordings of their narcissist family or husband or wife
Bro you gotta help family man
No you dont
Here take this 🤡
Even if they steal? Even if they pawn your shit? Even if they secretly write down your credit cards and max them out? Even if they take a loan out in your name and never pay it? Even if they use your car and get in a hit and run? Even when they lie about having a job? I DID help family.
Why exactly tho why does someone have to help the family that doesn't help you ? Are you gonna answer?
got another joke?
Everyone on here saying he is wrong for not helping his family, y’all are probably one of those manipulative family member’s. My husband and I live farrrrr away from manipulative relatives.
True thats what i was thinking too
Bingo!
The crazy thing is, some KNOW they’re the ones doing this, and some others LET their ego keep them in the dark. Responsibility vs. blame is a greate video on the YT actualized.org channel. There are so many resources and knowledge out there(free!) so there isn’t an excuse.
Good for you
What's wrong in helping family? Lot of people give donations to unknown people. But it's ur life it's ur choice.
"Help a person one time, they will be forever grateful. Help them a thousand times, they will resent you for the one time you didn't."
That’s actually profound! I like that one
I agree with it, but if is a narcissistic family, community, and so on. That thing could change, depends on the context and the info you had.
So true
Your right
100%
They’re not your responsibility. There’s a difference between a person who needs help and a parasite.
Amen!!
There you go!
It would be a funny situation if someone had parents as irresponsible and manipulative and abusive as his but who had all the money they needed. I mean, many probably do, but his situation may make someone think that only money can cause problems like this.
That person who needs "help" can go get a job too btw
ppl who say "don't talk to your parent that way" that goes both ways. parents should also not be abusing their children.
Who's the adult here. This guy has every right to walk away. I'm tired of people equating money with love.
@William Mills Agreed. I'm tired of seeing politics everywhere I go. It's not healthy. Libertarian here
(lobster heriarchy)
@@Accidentlly0nPurpose how's your wife's boyfriend doing?
@@Accidentlly0nPurpose Why, and how, do so many manage to turn everything into a political comment???!!!
I'm sick of it. I detest politics. It breeds mistrust, destroys lives and tears families and friends apart. It kills people too. Inc those whom risk their lives daily to save those such as yours!
If what recently occurred in Capitol Hill has not taught anyone anything about the dangers of politics, (religion elsewhere too), then it is a double tragedy from a profoundly powerful horrific lesson unlearned.
Why does every individual have their individuality erased by the grouping into two sides?
Why are people either on Left or Right? What ever happened to the middle and balance? It must be very wobbly and tiring deciding which leg to stand on.
I agree with William Mills and others stating this is not the place for a political post. Were it not for recent events, I would have ignored it. But there is no "lol". There is nothing funny. And I just had to address it....sorry about that to others though!
@@pleaseenteranamelol711 Sure it's not the Patriarchy (Dr Jordan Peterson)?
It's completely 100% ok to leave toxic family.
really dude?
@@nadir2k yes it is
@@nadir2k 100000%
@@nadir2k 1000000%
Yes. I had too
This man literally carried two generations on his back. What a legend.
Thats a lighter way of seeing it haha
Patrick M....That's an astute summary in a nutshell. Profound yet simple. He is definitely a legend. Courageous in the face of painful grief.
Indeed. Many cannot truly even imagine the utter strength (& toll) it takes. Stay safe & be well. #HiddenAbuse #DoctorRamani #LifeCode "B.A.I.T.E.R.S." #LisaARomano #PsychopathFree #Manipulation #GREYROCK #NoContact
That's normal. His, and his offspring if he so chooses to have any. He owes his elders nothing whatsoever.
As someone that had been here: not a legend. Masochistic? Yeah. There is nothing legendary about hurting yourself over and over again. Getting out of it: that's a good thing.
I have a large following and have often wanted to talk about my family. You've got guts, it's hard. Thanks for the courage.
I absolutely love you Abby...your spoon skills and not afraid of recording the teeth video!!! Love from Georgia!!!
Don't be afraid of the stigma.
@@JoshuaFluke1 Hey man. Very fucked up what you're going through. A big part of the reason why most professional athletes end up broke is exactly this kind of thing. Their families and those around them expect to have the good life and for them to maintain and spoil them, and it's not easy to maintain a village, even if you're a millionaire, especially when the going gets tough (which it will).
It's also hard to get your shit in order if the people you are supporting don't have their shit in order.
I think you should watch the movie What's Eating Gilbert Grape if you haven't already. It's about this exact kind of situation where one guy has to burden the weight of his entire family which only leads to resentment and the further degeneration of their relationship. It also offers some glimmer of hope on how to escape this kind of trap, and move on from it. Really think you'd get a lot of value from it.
Once i met a guy at a gas station in jacksonville. He had a guitar on his back and struck up a little conversation. He told me about how he played with the "spoon lady" and seemed so proud of it. I thought it was kinda weird but i looked up "spoon lady" when i got home and now im jealous of him lol.
@@JoshuaFluke1 those last texts sent to you mom were gross. Unfortunately when she is gone, that's what you will have to look back on.
I can say from experience (& I've gone thru stuff with family that is beyond disturbing), that no matter what, it's not worth it.
Fix it while you still can. Not with $, but whatever else.. or regret will be there waiting at the end.
✌🏼&💚💛💚
This is abuse. Don’t have contact with them, get yourself some therapy, they’ve damaged you emotionally a lot. The statements you make are that of an abused person. You’ve done nothing wrong. You’re loveable and don’t need to chase expectance nor are you a victim anymore and can move forward. Cheers to being a victor!
Yeah he needs to distance himself from that mental torture. Poor guy 😰
Yeah he should see a therapist So he gets validation for his thoughts providing the therapist is good.
You can be stronger than them.
This
Therapy is a load of shit he can do it by himself hes a young lad strong minded.
Having a toxic family is a slow death. People who have never had to deal with it will never understand. My family are the people I chose to be in my life not the people I just happen to be related to by blood.
I say this all the time now but it’s a lesson I learned later in life. I wish I knew this at 20, would have saved me many headaches.
This is a bad way, generally speaking there are some times it's best like this kid.
But generally family is family no matter what.
You wouldn't want your child ghosting you bc you disagree with something they are doing. Your it's parent
@@PhatesDemise Thats why i said generally; but again family is family; Things change when you have children; Period.
That part and most will never understand they will use you until you die and not give a crap about you
@@rockstar-kp2jy family is family is a bunch of garbage when a person is being abused from birth and straight into adulthood
This broke my heart. It’s okay to cut off toxic family members. Blood ain’t thicker than peace of mind, period
That's absolutely on point.. Great lines
Exactly look forward to move overseas again
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
@@gillypuente1794 ok Karen
@@alexanderespinoza 👁👄👁
I'm 40 years old and it took me 40 years to walk away from my biological family...my childhood resulted in me having Borderline Personality Disorder, OCD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and PTSD. BLOOD DOES NOT MAKE A FAMILY, ONLY UNCONDITIONAL LOVE CAN MAKE A FAMILY...and I received it from my husband's family for the last 20 years. My MIL is my best friend!!!
I always say that. People always get hung up on blood. Doesn't make them family
You use the term UNCONDITIONAL love yet apparently you place conditions on loving your dad? Not saying hes innocent of anything or that you are wrong, only that your logic is flawed.
@@russellswonderfullyweirdwo8493lmaooo your comment makes zero sense
@@russellswonderfullyweirdwo8493 please re read the foolery you wrote
@@iversonlopez8538 Unconditional love means theres no conditions. Yet shes obviously placed conditions on loving her father. So she expects love unconditionally but is unwilling to love that way herself. Whats so hard about that. FLAWED LOGIC, but at least she has logic.
If a person hasn't experienced this abuse they won't understand. Stand in your truth it helps your healing
True! I can’t seem to process how ones own parents can be so narcissistic and parasitic with their own son.
@@aaron6968 it's who they are. I recommend alba weinmann the empath narcissist dance
Of course, but he's a liar. He's employed and makes money. We are on his monetized channel right now.
This 100%. I resorted to recording conversations and writing down everything that happened in the moment and then going back to it a week or month later to review what happened. Or how it came about, because in the moment you think you are or *could* be wrong - you are so emotionally invested, but the reality is they are nuts.
@@NationandState isn’t he talking about a point in his life when he was unemployed though? Regardless, nobody deserves to be treated that way
Josh, abuse dynamics are inter-generational. It’s cult-like. They won’t change AND they will only break you down. Stay strong and minimize interaction so you can build your own life.
Yes. The family that encourage this madness to continue have been conditioned to think this is normal. Don't listen to them. Its inter-generational. That's why its so hard to break out. You don't find any support inside the family for this very reason.
I was wondering why all of his relatives behave like this, but this makes sense.
Dude that helps me so much and it makes sense
You can hear the anxiety/hurt in Josh's voice . I feel for you man.
Any angst Josh feels from this point forward from his family will be his own fault. You cannot put your hand back on a hot stove and not expect to get burned.
What? Lol
@@detroitbaby161 You kidding me? Something tells me you've never been in a similar situation where you were forced to disown your family for your own well being. To say there would be no angst after that point is simply asinine and borderline sociopathic due to complete lack of empathy. WTF is wrong with you??
@@shadelings You have no idea. I came out of a severely physically and emotionally abusive family. There’s a time when you have to let yourself heal by moving away
@@detroitbaby161 I'm very sorry to hear that. And that's very true about healing but to make such a black and white statement that there should be no more angst/anxiety, etc after the point where one removes oneself from such a toxic familial situation just seems awfully severe to the point of being devoid of empathy.
Number 1 tip, NEVER tell narcissistic parents how much money you have. They will think they’re entitled to it
Your comment sent chills down my spine.
Yeah
I don't have a job yet but I'm going to do the same. Money brings out the evil in a person.
This is facts, thankfully I only have witnessed other people learn this rather then having to learn through experience.
the other option is forcing the kid to sign complete control of their bank accounts over to them. then forcibly remove him from the equation, society today will just chalk it up to suicide.
You made a very hard decision but the right decision. There are many people in the same situation that admire your courage and who knows, maybe these videos give them what they need to step up.
That is exactly what he has done. Without even knowing Josh has provided tremendous support.
I’ve never been in that position, but to me it isn’t that hard to decide, you are your own person and responsible for yourself, helping family is okay to a certain extent, but not when you’re drowning yourself, he cares about his family and it would be best if he took care of himself because that’s what being an adult is about, once you’re 18 you don’t have any responsibilities to no one except the law, when you realize that your family is toxic and taking advantage of you just walk away and don’t look back, leave the door open if they change, but it’s their choice if they do, if they steal then call the police, if they insult you block them, it’s for their own good, they shouldn’t associate their love with how much money their son gives them, maybe later things will change like they always have.
Next time they send you a text asking for money send them back a link to local jobs listed online.
Lol FLW Videos? This is a weird connection 😂
That’s right! Abusive parents, brothers, wives, lovers, friends are everywhere. Nice to help them when they need you but if they abuse you just push the ignore button. So don’t feel bad.
It blows my mind when people use God as a weapon. I’m never surprised but always disappointed.
Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain
That’s why we invented god in the first place.
We all do it... Its the use of authority argument, problem is, one might not subscribe to that authority.
@@johnagcaoili9389 I named my buttwipes "God" and "Allah"
@@BichaelStevens very funny. You do you.
My point about the 2nd commandment was exactly Katie Smith's comment; i.e. I was agreeing with her.
For Christians, we believe that humans are created in the "Image of God". As such, we are supposed to represent God to others through virtues.
When we sin (lie, steal, kill, et al), we misrepresent God and are not living up to our duties as divine ambassadors. This is even graver when people claim to kill in God's name.
This is exactly what's wrong with Joshua's family (grandma in particular). They are using God's name to try and assert unjust control and to steal from him.
I’m so f*cking grateful that I grew up with kind, loving parents that have always been a role model in my life.... I’m so sorry to all the other kids that didn’t have good parents. I hope you’re all living happy, healthy lives.
Thank you! Actually, I honestly believe that if I hadn’t cut communication with my family, I wouldn’t be financially stable now. They would have sucked my life down with theirs.
🙏🏼❤️
You’re lucky it’s a sad thing when you’re surrounded by toxic users that have the nerve to say family but their never the ONE so ending their money
his family literally extorted him for years thats not family thats a crime
It is a crime. It's Financial Abuse
@@alexandrapower6445 PFFFFFFFFT! No one held a gun to his head. He's finally wised up, but cannot claim abuse. He WAS the better person, until he started spillin tea on youtube.
@@russellswonderfullyweirdwo8493 No one needs to hold a gun to your head. There are different weapons like using the suicide of a friend as emotional leverage to get you to "save" the other person. Or just because you are too kind and feel you really should help before you eventually realise you really should not. In the UK, financial behaviour as this is legally classified as abuse if using emotional leverage, (Inc religion), and/or against a vulnerable person. Maybe US is different. It's not am offence if a cheque bounces in UK But I understand it is total opposite in US? Everywhere is different. But it's still financial abuse
Yes he escaped despite the initial obvious pain in doing so. That takes courage to walk away from when they meant so much to through life. Only to betray you. But it takes something really bad to push you to that extreme anyway. He did good. And him "spilling it all over UA-cam" is not only good for him emotionally and financially, (not continuing to lose money because of them by giving it to a therapist instead), but is helping others too. So many thinking it was only them, now realise differently. Anything helping another is good
@@alexandrapower6445 Oh your in the UK nuff said. Yeah sorry two wrongs dont make a right. They were greedy yes, he helped them more than I personally would have, that was his choice. But as much as they used him for money, he's doing the same with pity clout. EXCEPT they never publicly defamed him. Maybe someone should help them make a youtube channel. REALLY get some youtube drama going for clicks and sympathy...
@@russellswonderfullyweirdwo8493 I am unsure what ".. from UK."nuff said" implies, if anything at all? I don't make such comments to those elsewhere. I'm unsure what the "two" wrongs are otherwise I would agree. Defamation necessitates slander or libel. False or manipulated allegations for the purpose of destroying a person's true character. There is no defamation because he evidenced everything with text communication screenshots. He has not lied or stated anything not evidenced.
As you stated earlier, he eventually "came to his senses" and did the sensible thing. You don't agree with him talking about a subject which is usually kept silent. There's nothing wrong in having an opinion. You're fully entitled to yours and don't need anyone telling you otherwise. My opinion is that he has opened up a subject which is helping many whom thought they were alone. Plus he's expressing the emotions of it all from Day 1 to final acceptance. He's not just saving a fortune on useless therapy but is additionally helping others on this painful subject too. That's just mine, and many others opinion. You have a right to think differently too. It does not necessitate disparaging comments. Yes. I am from UK. And it feels the same to experience here as it does to those in US. It helps to hear another's experience. If it was not substantiated with evidence, then that would be an entirely different story and I have absolutely no doubt that they would have sued him in a heartbeat were that the case. Only the evidence proves they haven't a leg to stand in. They're horrible, greedy people with no compassion.
What is far worse to me personally is not money it's that they revealed total absence of care re his mental or physical health. Were he a working horse, they'd have been flogging it until it took its last step. Then left it to die or shot it. No longer useful to them.
I get why some think as you do. But many out there are helped when realising it's not just them and their feelings are validated. Or they learn what they have to do and what to expect to feel when doing so. That has to be better than keeping silent. They don't deserve anonymity over helping others. As long as it's not criminal, they do not get to decide how he chooses to deal with his pain.
I do think the girlfriend and best friend story take it into a different category though. It serves no purpose other than to sadly detract from the originality and importance of the financial one. But we all make mistakes and he's suffered a lot of betrayal, but I hope he stays kind and rises above it outside of the family one.
When my adult children had to move back to my house because of COVID, I didn’t charge them rent or anything so they could work on getting new jobs. All are back working. My home is always theirs too. No one however has the right to treat you like their personal bank account. You take care and go on to have an amazing life with your own family ❤️
Damn, this guy raised his own parents.
sadly this is called parentified. I was victim of it too
Should’ve flushed them down the toilet.
No contact is often the only way to deal with entitled narcissists.....
Telling the truth is never wrong. Face it...you’re the scape goat child. Stay strong.
Being a recovering heroin addict and clean for seven years, this hits all the check marks of being an addict. Every. Single. One.
Spot on.
Exactly what I was thinking!
Keep it going bro, good shit on your recovery. 💯
Being a recovering heroin addict myself, as well as having lazy, entitled family, I can say I've seen people waste this much who are not on drugs. I swore up and down my step sister was on drugs because she had every sign, and only an addict can go through that much money, but they shocked me. It's easy to waste so much money. Great job on staying clean, and congrats on being one of the strongest people in a first world country. Getting clean is nearly impossible, and most can't do it. Keep up the fantastic work!
Agreed
You don’t owe anyone anything. Sounds like you were raised around narcissists and makes sense that you married one. Notice the patterns. ✨
I was thinking this.
Except taxes... Lol
They do sound like narc's. The grandma too.
You did the right thing. It’s a parents job to raise their children. It is not the job of their children to raise their parents.
1000%
There is nothing wrong with helping parents who can't help themselves but these are people who have proven they have no intentions of taking care of themselves.
100% true.
A good friend of mine had parents that were a lot like this and he ended up committing suicide. This is no joke and people who haven't had to deal with toxic family members will never know the struggle.
mind telling us what did the parents do after he killed himself?
@@pointerariza parasites have to find another host.
@Josef If ur contemplating suicide, then you've already given everything you have except ur own life. They shall not take that too. F that. F them. You have every right now. Undoubtedly. To be your own man. Someone's gotta save u. Where are they?
They don't care about u. It's up to you. Be free. Cut off the poison. You can't help them. Help yourself.
Take it from someone who has been through it. Stick with yourself for a while. All that weight on ur back has made u strong and it's time to build ur life. Watch out for other vultures trying to fill the void. They can sense the prey animal in u. Give it time on ur own
@@dZorroIII i second your notion with maximum violence!
yeah i have parents and brother like this as well. they always used to put me down. and they kept insulting me. then my wife came into my life and she pushed me to get my post university job. finally i got an offer. and the same parents constantly insulting me and demanding me to give them all my money while they spend their wealth on my brother. they never even spend $5 on a gift for me or my wife. but they keep asking for $300 per month regardless of our situation. and now my wife works and they want her to pay as well. and i couldn't take it anymore so we moved out and we pay way more in rent for the peace of mind that we get living alone together.
Josh, as a mother, my heart breaks for you. I wish you didn't have to go through all of that pain from your family. You deserved better from so-called family.
You are a strong, brave young man. Keep your chin up and know that lots of us care and want to see you succeed.
Stick to your decision. It was the right one.
They don't believe in god, they believe in emotional blackmail.
😂 damn true.
You hit the nail right on the head...narcissists don’t have relationships, they have hostages!
Religious blackmail. Where they don’t act like Christians but expect everyone else to.
People keep forgetting that you don’t get to choose if you want to be born into this world. You don’t owe your parents anything especially based on the way they treated you.
You do owe your parents because they gave you the ability for life, but if they refuse to treat you like an individual after you are 24, they are hurting the relationship. If your parents treat you with respect and compassion, it is your job to take care of them, when they can’t take care of themselves as they did for you. If they fail to raise you or treat you with respect, you don’t owe them anything. Like all relationships it is a get what you give situation.
@@anonymousguy720 if you want to help them do so, if not, don't. It is still there job to setup a financially secure future for themselves. Children are not retirement plans.
@@anonymousguy720
"Because they give you the ability for life" is not true. I hear this all the time from my parents, and from other parents as well. But that ain't true.
Why? Because, those parents always say "I have given you the ability for life" after they have treated their kids like s**t, beat them up badly for no reasons(or just because they are mad at each other, or the father got drunk), etc....
In short, if you can choose your parents, then you do owe them something. If you can't, you don't owe them anything, just because they "give birth" to you.
I haven't even mentioned the fact that parents in my country are very irresponsible for their actions. They always say one thing and do another, show their kids bad examples of themselves.
But when their kids learned from their examples, the parents always say "We did not teach you to be a bad person", and i was like "Really"????
@@anonymousguy720 The onus isn't on the offspring to care for the needs of the parents, especially at the behest of their psychological and financial detriment. The decision to undergo a pregnancy is not partaken by the one being conceived, therefore they are not complicit in any of the consequences associated with their own procreation. A child is not a lifetime indentured servant to their parents desires, if your motivation for having children is as a future safety net for your own negligence then that's nothing more than exploitation and DCFS needs to abrogate you of your custodial rights.
@@JoshuaFluke1 I'm following you for 2 years, but this is my first time that I'm not agreed with your thoughts.
Something my Dad taught me: "Help a person once, and you are helping a person. Help a person twice, and you are helping a problem."
Oh
Damn, I like that.. So true
I guess teachers are nothing but problem makers
@@BichaelStevens teachers are not helping you with nothing in return. They make a salary
@@kingwilliam6817 teachers help twice thrice every tice.
Wow, you didn’t have food in your home and they still asked you for money? Omg, this is beyond.
When your family is a bunch of emotionally manipulative narcissists, you have to go no contact.
Showing wounds, always attracts predators, especially in the narcissistic survivor community. Sorry you're having to deal with these bottom feeders. I've been no contact for almost six years. I didn't leave to hurt them, I left so they couldn't hurt me any more. Stay strong, you're an inspiration!
“They brought you into this world”. Right. As a mother, I understand this so much differently now. I brought my son into this world. It wasn’t his choice, it was mine. He asked for none of my BS, he just wants love. Sure, I brought him into this world, he owes me nothing, I owe him everything. You owed your parents nothing. Your parent didn’t birth a meal ticket. If a son or daughter chooses to help their parents, great. They don’t owe them. That ‘they brought you into this world’ is the greatest form of manipulation and needs to stop.
No one asked to be brought into this world. period.
Thank god decent chicks exist
@@losttale1 definitely. It may seem like there’s only a few sometimes, but I promise we don’t all have the same crazy outlooks on life. 😄
You are all so right. I grew up around a lot of super religious people too who believed that you owed your very life to your parents....I realized that was a very manipulative mindset when I became a parent. The way I see it is if my son wants to help me in my old age, cool, but I could never expect that of him. I don’t think it’s right to think that way at all. Guess it took growing up and starting to think for myself to realize it, as sad as that sounds. It irks me to no end to hear someone try and guilt anyone into ‘owing’ another person anything, especially when a relationship is so obviously toxic. I know that the decision to cut off a toxic family relationship is never an easy decision, I guess I just feel this whole video a lot because I’ve been on both sides of the relationship, as a mom and as a daughter (luckily after years of not speaking my folks and I were able to work it out but that’s not always the case).
@Amanda Anderson exactly!!!
Dude, I just randomly got recommended this video and let me say one thing:
YOU ARE NOT A BAD SON. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON FOR NOT HELPING WITHOUT LIMITS. And you don't have to explain yourself to any of us.
Take some time to be selfish. You've earned it. Give yourself some time to heal.
People who give the cliche lines about helping family have clearly never been in your shoes. I know what it’s like. Although, I am really sorry for your experiences, it is strangely comforting to know that I am not alone. Thanks for posting.
Any time I've heard a family talk strongly about how family should always be there, it's been from the family members that steal, use, and abuse the families kindness. I don't expect blind loyalty from anyone and I dont need to because I'm not an asshole.
Like he said, there is a difference between help and enabling.
@@angelbrumfield6134 thank you 🙏🏾 !!!! That applies to my own mom as well, she told me weeks ago « I made you so that when you grow up you can take care of me » like I’m a slave and I told her « no that doesn’t work like that ».
People say "you gotta help family" but most say it from the perspective of someone with a self-sufficient family that will help in return
They brought you into this world. It's THEIR responsibility to care about your mental health and not gaslight and manipulate you. You are their CHILD, not their Slave to Sponge off of.
@Kitty It's absolutely disgusting how commonplace this kind of behavior and mentality this has become.... These kinds of so called "family" members make me fucking sick
Tell my mom that, she thinks i owe her just because she gave birth to me. Which i didn't ask for
@@slindilengema9389 I know exactly where you're coming from on that one. She's wrong, and if she's going to act that way and have that kind of mentality, then there's no point in trying to say anything to someone like that and you don't owe her shit.
@@slindilengema9389 my mom was the same. There came a point where i had to make that hard decision and cut her off.
You can tell he's been abused, he always feels the need to have proof and gather proof, I know exactly how he feels and if your reading this I am so glad your out of it and you did the right thing just keep on doing you! ❤️
It is incomprehensible to me that parents would treat a child this way.
You know in Canada when this happens to elders it's labelled elder financial abuse.
This is FINANCIAL ABUSE.
All these people are able enough to work. His sister is not in a nursing home. You have a false story in your head .
@@RobertaPeck pretty sure she's referring to what happened to Josh.
@@RobertaPeck no, you've taken her the wrong way
I believe some states consider this as domestic violence as well
@A Southern Bam it’s basically all of the above.
I dont know how I found you but this is the first video of yours I have seen. I wish I could give you a hug. I have an amazing family that I feel so lucky to be a part of. I wish I could share that with you. Just know that you have every right to separate yourself from that environment without feeling guilt or obligation.
The harsh reality for your "Christian" family is that you really had the biblical perspective. Recommend they read the book of Proverbs.
They've probably never opened a Bible either 🥴
they cant read what they wont. they would just either ignore or change the topic
thats the point of evangelicals. either take religion to the word like Westboro, Mormons or Jehova Witnesses, or never read the bible at all like these kinds of "Christian" families.
@@johnbilljapaneselove That is not true. Westboro do not represent christianity! I'm sorry if you have had bad experiences with people who profess to be christians. People who really follow Christ follow his example and put others before themself, love their neighbour, are humble and giving. God bless
Exactly. It’s not uncommon for narcissists and manipulators to invoke God to present themselves in a false light. It is absolutely reprehensible. God does not smile on their sin.
You don't owe anyone anything. Anything given is out of kindness. Family or not
No-no-no. Not all given out of kindness. Sometimes obligation and commitment are above of kindness.
You don't have to be a kind person to have a kid. It's good if you're kind. Your kid will become a better person. But a basic parent is a responsible parent. That is the most important thing.
You’ve gone through a lot man. You don’t need to feel guilty about anything. You achieved everything by yourself!
@@technofeeliak yes John. It must be agonisingly painful. Parents are the only ones we have even when the world is against us.
@Imran A how do you know it’s sarcasm?
@@maheshpadmanabh6564 parents are not the same for everyone, quite a few are abandoned, or just get abuse from them, as the saying goes "mileage will vary".
@Imran A true yeah I just noticed that
@@maheshpadmanabh6564 sometimes they're the to go against you even before the world does
Run and never look back mate, remove all toxic people from your life period.
Honestly mean no offence by this, but it really sounds like at least one of your parents has a drug problem. How can they spend that amount of money each month its absolutely nuts
He let us work that one out lol
See his latest video
I was going to comment this exact same thing, they have the exact patterns and behaviors.
Josh you look way happier and healthier. When I first started watching your videos, you seemed depressed and super negative. Now you look like you're living your life. I'm so happy for you :)
He does though right?
He seems to have more resolve too.
It's not hard to say he made the right decision.... Holy sheeeit....
• Stole Credit Cards
• Took a Loan out in his name
• Let Daughter steal car and wreck it (while in Josh's name -- guess who got the bill)
• Months of Mooching (Rent + Insurance + CIgarettes + Food [Burgers🤣] + Gas Money + More)
• Multiple Trips
• Happily Spent his Life Savings
• Dad cashed in on multiple people at the same time
• So many more
Hey definitely does. Cutting off toxic family is such a huge load off of ones back.
@@thisguy1397 not months. Years
For sure, I just found this channel from the first disowned vid and he looks so much better in this vid, I think clearly less stress in his life.
@@SuperSayinSolidSnek so sorry josh so sad. ❤️🙏
Sounds like your grandparents wanted you to support your parents so they wouldn’t have to.
😂😂😂
Because the grandparents raised a loser!
That's exactly right Nancy Grimm! They clearly failed their son, in the first place and gave up on him a long time ago. Loser Grandparents.
Its very sad that parent would do such a thing. My heart goes out to him.
They who'd rather have someone who's barely starting his life to go broke rather than themselves, people who gave already lived their lives. Selfish as fuck
Sounds weird to say, but good thing you cut them off.
True
I hope the people who think his parents deserve his submission get used like a doormat for the rest of their lives. If you are dumb enough to think a son or daughter should be abused just because they are related by blood then that’s the lowest standard of belief.
A lot of people cut off their families because of the way they treat them, its sad on both ends because their family is acting that way to their own family members and you having to go through that is just all sad
Doesn't sound weird at all.
What's weird is why he was in this situation for so long.
it took way way too long
This is frighteningly similar to the dynamic my family had when my narcissitic grandparents were still alive. I see you fellow survivor!
Hey Joshua, I also need $714 for my phone bill. Can u send me it?
That's actually the dumbest lie I have ever heard
yes, I can send the paper that says that you owe 714 USD
wow this is incredible, I just watched this recommended video on my youtube: ua-cam.com/video/TjtLDlz8yG4/v-deo.html
and the same number 714 is here. that's actually such a weird coincidence, one video after the other. I'm SHOOK.
@@andrewwoan dude that's actually crazy. And he also says "be specific"
Yeah there is no way phone bill that expensive lol
That's for a new phone bill.
Here for moral support while you mourn the loss of the parents/family you never had but always needed. My heartfelt condolences go out to you.
People don’t realize that just because they are your family, doesn’t mean that they ARENT TOXIC!
There are plenty of toxic people in this world, and guess what, they belong to families too! They come from somewhere right?
@@VenturiLife What's your point? Just because they belong to a family doesn't mean they're not toxic. Smh 🤦♀️
@@neptunes297 lol you didnt get it.
@@neptunes297 that person was coming for people saying family cant be wrong
I have the same relations with my family.
Mother always asked for money, I cut her off and she ended up getting murdered by a drugaddict.
Father abused us as children, so stopped contacting him when I moved to my own home.
Siblings asking for money to pay rent and to pay for drugs.
But here I am together with gf for 10 years, done with education and have the best job ever.
And just got into investment hoping to grow my money for a even brighter future.
Wishing you all the luck, and keep staying strong.
Blood is not always thicker than water as I use to say.
Good for you. Sounds like you have broken the cycle of disfunction.
The saying is "the blood of battle is thicker than the water of the womb." Family is not owed.
Hey man, you do sound like you're ok and everything but I hope you don't feel too bad about what happened with your mom. Like pretty much everyone else here I definitely get the bad family dynamics and everything, but that sort of thing can still leave you with some guilt or feeling like maybe you did the wrong thing. You seem happy otherwise though, I'm glad.
God as a manipulation tactic? Doesn't seem very godly.....
A typical tyrant
Here in Philippines, thats their greatest and shittiest trap card to subdue you.
The Bible is the greatest tool in mankind ever created to gaslight others. In all honesty, I truly believe that's the only reason that our current Religions were created and still remain. They wash each others feet, and give pittance to the tithe to make themselves feel superior, have quotes on hand for any situation with the hypocrisy that the Bible is like Einsteins Theory of Relativity, that for every Bible verse supporting ones argument there's an equal and opposite verse that goes in the opposite direction... Except when it comes to abortion obviously, since it's literally only mentioned in the sense that if your wife sleeps with another man you should stone her till she miscarries. That's it. The Bible says nothing else in regards to abortion. It is a tool used to manipulate people and back it with The Magical Book of Morality. Josh shows it here. He even recited a verse back to his grandmother. And obviously she brushes it off because it doesn't go with her agenda. Don't ever read me a verse from the bible and connect it to how I should live my life. People like Joshua and myself are completely happy to love, care for, and help other people without the 100th revised copy of a book that was written by people who bathed once a week thousands of years ago. It's fucking irrelevant. I don't need to be scared of going to hell to be a Humanitarian.
I'm cancelling the Bible. It's a mute point. You heard it here first. You can be spiritual. You can believe in whatever higher power you want. But a book about condemning someone to hell for being gay, with the next line saying if you eat a piece of shrimp you will equally and also be included in those that go to Hell is a book that should be read as fantasy and nothing more. Please, try to gaslight me with lines from a book that talk about stoning people. Old Testament, New Testament, I don't give a fuck. I grew up Catholic, it never made sense. I went to all the classes, obviously my mom never made me an Altar Boy so Bless her.. My mother still considers herself Catholic. Prays to Mary. That's all fine. But she also doesn't ever tell me that I need her god in my life, creating anxiety in me, being afraid of this god... **BUT LOVED TOO** ... It's all in Gods Plan that we've surpassed 300k deaths in America just from the Coronavirus alone.. God loves America, hates children in Uganda, wants kids in Yemen to die from malnutrition. That's his PLAAAAAN.
SHUT the fuck up. God has no plan. If there's a god controlling things he's a sick motherfucker. More likely he's a sick motherfucker who made us in his image, spun the earth into motion, and took his hands off the wheel to watch the chaos.
There very well may be a spiritual element, or a connection between humans that we can't explain and may never be able to. Or it's electrons in the air. Who knows at this point? Maybe the Earth truly is Gaia and we die, get recycled, and the Earth itself is a living being.. But there aint no mf who looks like us in the sky looking down and blessing anybody. There's luck and maybe some sort of Karma on this Earth, and the only reason I'm adding Karma is going back to Einsteins Theory of Relativity. "Karmic Science"
Fuck your Bible verses. I have a bot on Discord that spits bullshit out from the bible when you type +random
So now that we have AI that can spout bullshit, we don't need anymore Karens...
@@pretary1845 Man I am so sorry you and many many other people get that impression. Let me be clear the people who use the bible to manipulate will have their fill of the way they have chosen. We can debate the bible all day as you said for every argument for it there exists one against it. I am actually gonna use those words from now on lol that's a very good observation and I am glad I am not the only one who sees it.
@@hc6008 so true ... It fucks with my head
I can literally see the pain in your eyes man. Like, even though you're angry, I see immense pain. Hang in there bro, take it one day at a time.
Saddest 18 minute video I have ever watched. Bro I cried in the end. My heart dropped hearing you being the only one to ever care for your father and about everyone else in your family. Joshua, you are a great man dude, a great man. God bless you bro I will definitely keep you in my prayers and the day will definitely come when everyone realises what you have suffered for your family. Until then stay strong brother and let nothing put you down.
When my dad had cancer, my mom tried to use the sympathy card to get all of her relatives and kids to give her money saying the medical bills were so high. After we had given her thousands of dollars, we found out that she was going on shopping sprees and gambling. When I was a child, I only had one pair of clothes for the whole school year since my mom spent the money on dumb shit.
Sounds fucked, is your dad alright tho.
@@onenerdygeek812 thanks for asking. He's doing alright.
@@MC-rw2bk phew. Thats fucked up dude
thats fucked up
With distance you'll find clarity. Day by day, you're getting healthier.
I seriously can't believe someone else has the exact same parents as I do. Good on you for getting out early.
This is important to share here on UA-cam. It not only helps others who suffered from narcissistic family abuse but also might be therapeutic. From experience people (family, friends, bosses, etc...) who are psychologically and emotionally abusive need to be cut out of your life, there is very little chance of them changing. The only way to deal with them is to go no contact once you recognize them as such IMO.
So glad you got away from your family and their chaos.
I suspect something else is going on here, like gambling or drugs.
Herion for sure.
You did your best Josh. Cutting them off was the best decision because your resentment would have turned you into something really bad in the end. You deserve peace and happiness.
Never give them money again!
Yeah he does. It's been more than enough already
This not my family and I’m going mentally insane just listening to this
For the people responding "you gotta help family," you have to understand how much Joshua has endured and how these videos though they're not something that one publicly displays, are extremely helpful for others in similar situations and act as a channel of relief for Joshua. He has so much on his chest he could probably make 1000 videos. All those other UA-camrs who live perfect lives and feed their viewers a bs version of reality should thank people like Joshua for exposing the harsh realities of life.
Im glad you are fighting back. I heard this story so many times and It broke the backs of many. Keep fighting back. Family isnt defined by blood. I believe its about the people who truly love us.
Your parents are grown. Don’t take their calls any longer. And stop paying for their stuff!
Givers must set boundaries because takers never will! CUT ALL OF THEM OFF!
People, that are saying 'you gotta help your family' Yes, Help, not Host.
Sometimes tough love is help
Exactly. They are big fat nasty parasites.
I feel like everyone who pushes you saying you need to keep enabling your parents are the exact same people who behave as your parents do.
Narcissism is a kind of contagious irresponsibility and these people mutually validate each other.
Everyone says, "blood is thicker than water". What people do not understand is, this is not the actual adage. The full and original adage is, "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb", which essentially means the family you choose is more important than the family who birthed you.
You do not owe anything to anyone, especially people that have done these things to you. Life is a 101 for everyone, it's everyone's first time around. No one has a clue as far as what's actually happening here so don't listen to anyone that pretends to know what's best for you. Even me, I'm just some guy on the internet, after all.
Literally. Nobody is your guru
Interesting
Preach it brother 🙌
@@Calamity_Leo my thoughts too
Learn something new everyday! Thank you! This makes more sense- and isn’t it funny it was changed to me the exact opposite?!?
Let’s get him to a million... we need to show his family that “god” made the right choice by cutting them off!
😂😂 You ain't right.
Lol he's exposing their abuse....everyone needs to expose their abusers. It passes through generations and there is always a scapegoat that is held accountable for others happiness. Its emotional blackmail and these people would see you dead, in exchange for a few bucks.....no empathy. I wouldn't doubt they are druggies....very reminscent of drug addicts.
When your family lies to you, ignores you, hurts you, disowns u "in the name of Jesus," yet you were basically the only "Jesus" they had, Much respect to you Josh.
Joshua doesn't owe anyone an explanation or "proof". It's your life and you make the decisions because YOU will reap the benefits and suffer the consequences, not the baboons in the UA-cam comments section (myself included).
This sounds like addiction. I'm almost certain
Heroin 1000 percent.
turns out , it was lol
They chose to bring you into this world, it was never your choice. You don't owe them anything!
Parents should be thankful that a life have come to their part of family. If u simply giving birth to child which u wanna bully and make him depress. Think like u own them like a property. U simply shouldn't give birth.
@@hawkeyerules9028 i relate to this Half of it
EXACTLY! Its incredible how people manage to see it any other way than that...
Yeah. Its the parents responsibility to take care of their children. Not the other way around.
@@Lindormking89 i believe they should take care of each other mutually but dishonesty should not be the way. this video shows how dishonest they were to him
You are a surviver of emotional and financial abuse (perhaps even others). Your family has done a lot of damage and you were able to recognize, escape, and grow from it. That is commendable.
It’s not easy cutting a family member off. It’s probably one of the most difficult things to do. But it gets to a point where you have to choose between your inner peace and theirs. Josh, I really hope you find peace from all of this. I hope your family comes to the realization of their faults and own up to it, and change for the better one day.
His parents are drug attics, Pawnshop, stealing fraud, not paying bills,no work because drug attics can't hold down jobs. Desperate for the high they use every tactic to get money. Classic case.,
@@ancientbear3280 Makes even more sense now to know they are drug addicts. The only solution would be to cut them off entirely as to not continue to enable their behavior.
@@linda122000 well I applaud him for doing it. though call, I would've whooped my dads ass if he was a loser like that
“Tough love from God is true.”
Amen bro. Way to hold your integrity.
Eventually it comes down to cutting family off for them to wake up from their delusion.
Sometimes not helping someone is helping them. How can we ever take care of ourselves if we are constantly waiting for someone else to do everything for us.
I remember when Josh tried to help his dad start a UA-cam channel but then he stopped uploading :( Having a family member or even a friend that has a following help and guide you on the youtube grind is literally blessing.
Because he stopped coming over to film.
@@JoshuaFluke1 I don't think he knew what a golden opportunity that was. He could've been set for life if he just kept at it.
@@kataiho4405 I tried to explain this to him, but he just disappeared. All he had to do was talk. I edited, I filmed, I made thumbnails, I had the ideas.
@@JoshuaFluke1 Damn that reminds me. Are you going to do more videos on reviewing people's channel and giving tips? Those were pretty fun to watch.
Josh really tried to help his family but they are too ignorant and selfish
Family relationships can be just as toxic as any other relationship.
Yes
@paula it isn't always obvious to everyone
If anything, more so because they are your family.
@@edwardwray9056 yes because you are forced to stay in the household until a certain age
They are often more toxic than other relationships because it is much harder to cut away the family that has brought you up as a young kid than it is to cut away a partner you've been with since you were 25 years old.
I was recommended some of these vids and I commend you for trying so long to help people who obviously did not want to help themselves. So glad you were able to finally cut them off. I had suspected they may have been using or dealing with some kind of addiction and unfortunately until they no longer have ANYONE enabling them AND they actually want to get help, things will just keep looping in an endless cycle like you've shown they already were months ago in your text messages.
You did the right thing leaving Evil people. You're an Inspiration.
I can’t fathom someone watching this and thinking that you didn’t do the objectively right thing by cutting them off
Josh, permanently ghost them all.
He did help his family...tremendously! They didn’t want to help themselves, big difference!
Never let anyone know how much money you actually have smfh
Bruh. Can I be your family member? I got a lot of bills I need paid
Add me too. 😛
@@BasicFolders send me the discord link
"Giving money to someone who has a money problem is like giving a drink to someone with a drinking problem" - Dave Ramsey
Good job Josh, you made the right decision.
Having been a person who's been on both sides of these 2 problems, (albeit at different stages of my life) I totally, 100% agree.
Dave also said just today "A child is not enslaved to his parents."
My parents have had hard financial times and they have had to reach out to their kids for help in the past. But I feel very grateful to have the father I have. No matter what trouble he is in financially, no matter what problems are going on he tells me "don't worry about it, you rest, I will figure it out". I am so grateful to have a father who doesn't put his problems on his children. I know people who have to parent their own parents so I'm so happy my dad is the kind of parent who handles his own problems and takes on his responsibility so that I don't have to.
I’m very sorry this happened to you. I had to cut off my Mom because she was very manipulative and mentally ill and refused to get help for 17 years. I also want you to know that your grandma is not a true Christian. She is the kind of person that turn so many away from religion. My mother used similar tactics with me, and I hated Christianity for years. I’m so glad I’m a Christian again though 😌
I'm in a similar position right now
Ditch the delusion
Tells a lot about ur beliefs when emotions determine how much you believe 🤷
@@faikerdogan2802 dude, what are you talking about?
@@speakersr-lyefaudio6830 about her beliefe in god changing with her life circumstances. Unless i misunderstood
Aw Josh, you're such a sweet guy. They don't deserve your pure heart, and I'm so sorry you had to go through this.
Comment for algorithm. Much respect to you Josh, its great to see you've moved on from your family
This video made me super grateful for being raised by amazing parents. Hopefully, you’ll find your peace with your family.
I... I’ve never seen anyone else deal with this. I’ve thought about making my own YT videos about it. But the guilt just stops me every time... I can tell this all still hurts your heart. Because you feel like it was bad of you to do but at the same time you’re free. Hearing your experience actually makes me feel better about my own situation.
Kittie Marie....You are definitely not alone. Go for it. Make those videos. I am so grateful for discovering this young man and his videos. Only a few days ago too. During one of those moments when everything becomes very dark. I don't think he even realises the powerful gift he has given to so many whom he will never meet or even know.
The biggest is the irony that, had he not done what he found so difficult and painful with those whom were breathlessly self-entitled parasites, devoid of Grace or Gratitude, he would never have instead found himself gifting so much to so many on a subject where so many have felt they were alone. The only ones silently going through similar.
He has not only reclaimed his health emotionally, physically and financially; he has gifted so much that was needed to so many suffering silently, at no cost, and has earned countless genuine gratitude in return.
I have a feeling he will soar to heights never dreamed of. I hope you do too.
You're not alone. I had my biological father lying to my face to try to make me hate my mother for years before I finally had the courage to cut that side of the family off at 16. There are so many more people suffering unfortunately, we are one of many, but I hope that those who haven't escaped see these videos and these comments and get the courage to do so
Look up refuge from a narcissist he does videos about it he talks about his own life and then people send recordings of their narcissist family or husband or wife
Omg 5 years....don't you dare ever help them again. They are ingrates!!!!
You did the right thing. Everyone needs boundaries and they clearly tried to take advantage of you.