Married for 30years!! Five kids of course there all adults now. My husband took ill eight months ago, he passed recently. I was there every single day living at the hospital and nursing home. I did everything for him, bathed him, fed him etc... so yes we still exist..... A wife that's totally committed to her husband. Till death due us part, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. We lived through all our wedding vows. 😢🌺
First, my sincerest condolences and prayers for you and your family at the loss of your husband of 30 years. Comments like yours are invaluable to black men without experience or an informed conception of a long-term relationship and how to vet a potential female partner. In the past year, I have mentored several outstanding young (22 - 28) black men at the beginning of their careers and lives. All are from female-headed households, and it is evident that the absence of mature, responsible male influence left them unprepared for the most essential part of their lives: their relationships, especially dating. I When talking about their dating experiences, it is obvious they should indefinitely postpone any serious long-term dating, especially engagements. Black women view black men like this as their "backup plans" while they "empower" their careers and future education. Each young black man is making his own decision, but they are in agreement they should wait until they are at least 30+ before even contemplating a serious long-term relationship or commitment. One young man broke off his three-month engagement.
I married a 23 y/o beautiful woman from South Africa. Under the impression that “she’s from the organic African culture, she’ll for sure be friendly, submissive & cooperative.” ….. At the point we started dating she’d only been in the USA 3 weeks. She mirrored herself to all of the manosphere talking points which convinced me there was no way I could lose. Long story short, there was a complete 180 degree change in her behavior. We’ve only been married for 3 months, she’s 16 weeks pregnant & Im in the middle of a terrible divorce. Fellas … nothing is guaranteed! No matter where you go on this planet. Move accordingly
Did you meet her here? If so, believing she was traditional is your biggest mistake. Even if you meet them elsewhere, if you bring them back they'll conform to the feminist society.
@@marcel3942 I met her here. Exposed her to the manosphere content in its full totality. She even became outraged at feminism & the state of union. Once she got in the marriage & pregnant it all went sour, quickly.
@@docdoll2583 damn my man, you fell for the ole okey doke. She def gonna put ur azz on child support & find ways to bring family members from Africa here 😮
Where in SA is she from also what tribe. there are tribes within SA and the continent that are known to be chameleons, and others known for their loyalty. also is she was only here for 3 weeks was she a student or visiting cause that can tell a lot
@@5GTelevision put it together yourself, also just because someone works at mcdonalds doesn’t mean they have nothing of value or doesn’t own anything. No man rich or poor wants to give up half a million or half of two dollars to a woman who is trying to ruin his life n still have you pay for her life.
Ladies keep this in mind. Rushing to have sex could mean he's just not that into you. If you not into casual sex don't do it. That's what i heard. I hate we've given men easier access to our bodies. Single men should be sexless men. You sleep with them you "for the streets". You don't sleep with them you're too much work. They want to parktake in the streets but complain about too many women being for the streets. Then they want to have a near virginal woman waiting for them when they're ready to settle down after they've knowingly put mileage and baggage on someone who could be someone else's mate. You literally can't win lol.
I been saying this. I'm m in the UK, I still believe there's someone out there for me but it ain't easy. I believe that men are more ready than women are for adult relationships. Men are realistic, we know how to compromise and men know how to SETTLE. We understand perfection doesn't exist. We'd take vanilla sex IF everything else is great. If she covers 7/10 attributes, we're good. Women seem to only want perfection, if it ain't that they don't want it. The man has to be everything, there is no compromise. Social media has f'd the game also. Women are not independent of thought and place too much on social media ideals.
You also have to be everything, all the time. Because if you fall off after being great for years, she has high chances of divorcing based off how she feels at that moment.
@The Marathon Continues facts, the last woman I dated - I was literally the best thing since sliced bread one month, the next month she had changed her feelings and felt we weren't progressing and therefore ended things. We just can't win. I don't crave a woman, relationship, however I do like the idea of a family unit. Unfortunately it does just seem like that now - an idea
@The Marathon Continues The UK is the US lil brother so we tend to follow what you do. Therefore with the increased conversation about high value man, 6 figures etc, 6 inch (uno what) this is now the narrative amongst modern black women. I live in London, the biggest city in the UK. The average salary in London is around £41k, yet cost of living is through the roof. Obviously depending on their industry, not every black man will be making this amount, nor will they be 6ft, or have their own place etc. However it seems all of this is now the minimum requirement, whether or nor a women is making more or less, it doesn't matter. Plus your not considered a real man if you don't have these things. There are good BW out there but its so hard to tell. Like a viral video so eloquently put it, "the good women are standing too close to the hoes, we can't tell the difference"
@@kingtchala6832 that’s a messed up situation g. I’m sure a lot of those standards go out of the window for brad/non-BM, this is saddest part. Some of these women are truly keeping the black family from functioning at this point
😮 I experienced what happened in the Bronx tale, i didn't know about it then but it was like wow, this babe is really considerate. Car door still works because even if it's unlocked it still has to be pulled opened and that's what I experienced. I opened the door for her and she opened the door for me
Women these days want the wedding but not the work in marriage. Also these days, it’s non beneficial for a man to be married here in the States. The court system is unfair to men in divorce.
“Work in a marriage” for blk women married to blk men usually involves the woman having to forgive or overlook some form of disrespect or struggle. I’m sorry but women are starting our own businesses, getting degrees and are on pace to be the only female demographic who will out earn our male counterparts. Blk men aren’t offering anything to sweeten the deal to make us want to be with you. Usually when I hear a blk man discuss relationships or marriage it’s always from a selfish perspective. They never mention anything that they bring to the table. It’s all abt them. Ain’t nobody got time for that 🤷🏽♀️
@@TrangPakbaby We don’t care about your money or useless degrees. Yet we get shamed on how we view marriage for men and get screwed in divorce court and get took to the cleaners so that’s why most men View marriage as a overrated mistake because we not gonna work and build up ourselves for years just for someone can take half if the woman with all these “degrees” that end up with a bunch of student loan debt and decides to leave us.
@@TrangPakbaby Yet, we are getting married in higher percentages than bw are. I think the narrative of bm are the ones who are the ones lacking is disingenuous and supports this delusion that bw are great at relationships and have a moral high ground. Most Western women are not raised to be wives....and earlier in life tend to choose poorly and then try to act like all BM are bad and defective....when are our sisters going to take accountability for their choices and for how they contribute to the downfall of relationships?
@TheIgnorance and that’s an indictment against blk males, y’all don’t provide and create anchors for these women by creating babies that y’all don’t stick around to raise. Again you are costing the government 50 billion a year due to your CHRONIC unemployment, a woman is twice as likely to be a left a single mom if she mates with you, y’all are currently causing a blk femicide and you will soon be the only group of males who are outpaced by your female counterparts. Do better. Ur laughable
I didn’t necessarily look at her differently. But I knew instantly she rarely dealt with men that genuinely wanted to get to know her for her. She equated the fact that most men wanting to get with her quickly as a means of validation. Me not rushing, didn’t validate her at all so it instantly felt like there was an issue or problem. In reality, I was just trying to catch a vibe and get to know her before taking it there. Trust, I would have taken it there but I needed to see who she was outside of just her beauty.
How can you love or trust someone, when you don’t even love and trust yourself? People have no understanding of what true love looks like and what it feels like. Some people are better off being by themselves 🤷🏾♀️
Prenups are thrown out. Lawyers get paid b4 and after. The fact one neeeds a contract to counter a marriage contract says how bad a contract it is. Prenups are $$$. They can't negotiate child support or custody beforehand. This means some random will have access to your children if she makes bad decisions. You'll be liable 4 alimony and life support if your neighborhood is nicer than hers post-D. You'll lose time n energy undoing her horrible messaging. You'll be forced to move around bc she'll get thr kids and will take them God knows where. The state (pimp) owns her and judges/lawyers profit and line their pension from every child support payment. Black widowed, you'll be on the hook bc c hild support payments can be set to any amount x 18 years unlike alimony. Prenups just lock you in...smh.
that's not true. prenups come with prearranged agreements and terms. yes they can be contested, just like wills. it doesnt make them bad. it means there are tons of other circumstances at play.
@@Mac-pluto$$$ , can't negotiate child support or custody in pre nup contracts. You'll be liable 4 alimony and life support if your neighborhood is nicer than hers post-D. The state (pimp) owns her and judges/lawyers profit and line their pension from every child support payment. Black widowed.
Women to busy watching basketball wives with one actual wife of the show women don't live in reality they run when the perfect idea doesn't go well hips not built for it
@@kingmelanin7468 who cares. That's why I also said marry your girl in the Philippines. She can be from here. Just marry her in the Philippines. She can't divorce you. 🤷♂️
@@josephwhite3486 Men who want stable families, lacking feuds and extortion CARE. Besides, how is no divorce here a good thing with so many chameleons out there?
@@kingmelanin7468 that's why I say find a black woman anywhere other than America. Marry her in the Philippines. Of you bring her back and she get brainwashed by feminist it don't matter. She can't divorce you and take half your stuff.
9:33 I don't believe it's as simple as which sex is more marriage ready; however, in my opinion, when men are given responsibility (especially without an easy escape), we are quicker to adapt and accept the current circumstance whether we are happy or not. If we thanos snapped and every person in the US was married, I wonder who would be quicker to play their role.
7:35 i think there are more marriage minded women who are not thinking about long-term marriage the non yes man, simp like guys are. Future based marriage minded men outnumber the same focus group in women. It's just a rare thing they bump into each other when they're in that mindset.
Men are not scared or being married we are acted of being taken advantage of. Woman are not scared of married they are scared or being actual wives with wife responsibilities 🤷🏿♂️
Definitely disagree with your boy up there. There's definitely more husband out here than wives. Men nowadays have to work twice as hard for less quality women then our grandmother's. Women are the problem in the dating market nowadays not men and I'm not talking about any specific race demographics either.
Married for 30years!! Five kids of course there all adults now. My husband took ill eight months ago, he passed recently. I was there every single day living at the hospital and nursing home. I did everything for him, bathed him, fed him etc... so yes we still exist..... A wife that's totally committed to her husband. Till death due us part, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. We lived through all our wedding vows. 😢🌺
So sorry for your loss 🙏🏿
First, my sincerest condolences and prayers for you and your family at the loss of your husband of 30 years. Comments like yours are invaluable to black men without experience or an informed conception of a long-term relationship and how to vet a potential female partner.
In the past year, I have mentored several outstanding young (22 - 28) black men at the beginning of their careers and lives. All are from female-headed households, and it is evident that the absence of mature, responsible male influence left them unprepared for the most essential part of their lives: their relationships, especially dating. I
When talking about their dating experiences, it is obvious they should indefinitely postpone any serious long-term dating, especially engagements. Black women view black men like this as their "backup plans" while they "empower" their careers and future education.
Each young black man is making his own decision, but they are in agreement they should wait until they are at least 30+ before even contemplating a serious long-term relationship or commitment. One young man broke off his three-month engagement.
@@wnttalk Thank u 🌺
@@p9a9r21 I absolutely agree 💯 percent.😊
@@p9a9r21 Thank u 🌺
I married a 23 y/o beautiful woman from South Africa. Under the impression that “she’s from the organic African culture, she’ll for sure be friendly, submissive & cooperative.” ….. At the point we started dating she’d only been in the USA 3 weeks. She mirrored herself to all of the manosphere talking points which convinced me there was no way I could lose. Long story short, there was a complete 180 degree change in her behavior. We’ve only been married for 3 months, she’s 16 weeks pregnant & Im in the middle of a terrible divorce.
Fellas … nothing is guaranteed! No matter where you go on this planet. Move accordingly
Did you meet her here? If so, believing she was traditional is your biggest mistake. Even if you meet them elsewhere, if you bring them back they'll conform to the feminist society.
@@marcel3942 I met her here. Exposed her to the manosphere content in its full totality. She even became outraged at feminism & the state of union. Once she got in the marriage & pregnant it all went sour, quickly.
@@docdoll2583 damn my man, you fell for the ole okey doke. She def gonna put ur azz on child support & find ways to bring family members from Africa here 😮
Damn…
Where in SA is she from also what tribe. there are tribes within SA and the continent that are known to be chameleons, and others known for their loyalty. also is she was only here for 3 weeks was she a student or visiting cause that can tell a lot
Bronx Tale, it was called the "door test". Realist shit ever! Also a classic movie for sure!
VETTING is a SKILL !!!
Prenup prenup prenup whether you're working at McDonald's or own McDonald's get a prenup before marriage
Prenup aint enough now a days, look at all these ppl getting divorced with them n still getting rocked
Prenup will NOT save you.
Prenup is a contract and it does what you negotiate. You can't get rocked if you agree to the terms.
Don’t get no prenup if you work at McDonalds…. You have nothing of value nor can you afford the lawyer to put it together.
@@5GTelevision put it together yourself, also just because someone works at mcdonalds doesn’t mean they have nothing of value or doesn’t own anything. No man rich or poor wants to give up half a million or half of two dollars to a woman who is trying to ruin his life n still have you pay for her life.
Bringing up the door test was brilliant
Good, solid black women are still in the U S. We’re just Not in the clubs or on Instagram.
Exactly
100%.
Lies.
5%
Ladies keep this in mind. Rushing to have sex could mean he's just not that into you. If you not into casual sex don't do it. That's what i heard. I hate we've given men easier access to our bodies. Single men should be sexless men. You sleep with them you "for the streets". You don't sleep with them you're too much work. They want to parktake in the streets but complain about too many women being for the streets. Then they want to have a near virginal woman waiting for them when they're ready to settle down after they've knowingly put mileage and baggage on someone who could be someone else's mate. You literally can't win lol.
I used that ‘Bronx Tale’ move back in the day all the time!!
I totally agree with this brother a brother with a purpose knows to ask questions and listen to her response. This brother has learned his lesson.👍
I been saying this.
I'm m in the UK, I still believe there's someone out there for me but it ain't easy. I believe that men are more ready than women are for adult relationships. Men are realistic, we know how to compromise and men know how to SETTLE. We understand perfection doesn't exist.
We'd take vanilla sex IF everything else is great. If she covers 7/10 attributes, we're good. Women seem to only want perfection, if it ain't that they don't want it. The man has to be everything, there is no compromise.
Social media has f'd the game also. Women are not independent of thought and place too much on social media ideals.
You also have to be everything, all the time. Because if you fall off after being great for years, she has high chances of divorcing based off how she feels at that moment.
@The Marathon Continues facts, the last woman I dated - I was literally the best thing since sliced bread one month, the next month she had changed her feelings and felt we weren't progressing and therefore ended things. We just can't win.
I don't crave a woman, relationship, however I do like the idea of a family unit. Unfortunately it does just seem like that now - an idea
@@kingtchala6832 I hear u bro.
Since this convo/channel is on BM/BW specifically, im curious - what’s your experience with BW in the UK?
@The Marathon Continues The UK is the US lil brother so we tend to follow what you do. Therefore with the increased conversation about high value man, 6 figures etc, 6 inch (uno what) this is now the narrative amongst modern black women.
I live in London, the biggest city in the UK. The average salary in London is around £41k, yet cost of living is through the roof.
Obviously depending on their industry, not every black man will be making this amount, nor will they be 6ft, or have their own place etc. However it seems all of this is now the minimum requirement, whether or nor a women is making more or less, it doesn't matter. Plus your not considered a real man if you don't have these things.
There are good BW out there but its so hard to tell. Like a viral video so eloquently put it, "the good women are standing too close to the hoes, we can't tell the difference"
@@kingtchala6832 that’s a messed up situation g.
I’m sure a lot of those standards go out of the window for brad/non-BM, this is saddest part. Some of these women are truly keeping the black family from functioning at this point
😮 I experienced what happened in the Bronx tale, i didn't know about it then but it was like wow, this babe is really considerate.
Car door still works because even if it's unlocked it still has to be pulled opened and that's what I experienced. I opened the door for her and she opened the door for me
Women these days want the wedding but not the work in marriage. Also these days, it’s non beneficial for a man to be married here in the States. The court system is unfair to men in divorce.
“Work in a marriage” for blk women married to blk men usually involves the woman having to forgive or overlook some form of disrespect or struggle. I’m sorry but women are starting our own businesses, getting degrees and are on pace to be the only female demographic who will out earn our male counterparts. Blk men aren’t offering anything to sweeten the deal to make us want to be with you. Usually when I hear a blk man discuss relationships or marriage it’s always from a selfish perspective. They never mention anything that they bring to the table. It’s all abt them. Ain’t nobody got time for that 🤷🏽♀️
@@TrangPakbaby We don’t care about your money or useless degrees. Yet we get shamed on how we view marriage for men and get screwed in divorce court and get took to the cleaners so that’s why most men View marriage as a overrated mistake because we not gonna work and build up ourselves for years just for someone can take half if the woman with all these “degrees” that end up with a bunch of student loan debt and decides to leave us.
@@TrangPakbaby Yet, we are getting married in higher percentages than bw are. I think the narrative of bm are the ones who are the ones lacking is disingenuous and supports this delusion that bw are great at relationships and have a moral high ground. Most Western women are not raised to be wives....and earlier in life tend to choose poorly and then try to act like all BM are bad and defective....when are our sisters going to take accountability for their choices and for how they contribute to the downfall of relationships?
@TheIgnorance and that’s an indictment against blk males, y’all don’t provide and create anchors for these women by creating babies that y’all don’t stick around to raise.
Again you are costing the government 50 billion a year due to your CHRONIC unemployment, a woman is twice as likely to be a left a single mom if she mates with you, y’all are currently causing a blk femicide and you will soon be the only group of males who are outpaced by your female counterparts.
Do better.
Ur laughable
10:43
true test of commitment.. most will fail
Family, family, family. Vet women through her family and specifically her perspective of her father.
💯💯
Let’s dig through the trash just to find some cold pizza 🍕
3:12 Now why did she say that?! Corey we need answers, did you look at her differently after that?
I didn’t necessarily look at her differently. But I knew instantly she rarely dealt with men that genuinely wanted to get to know her for her. She equated the fact that most men wanting to get with her quickly as a means of validation. Me not rushing, didn’t validate her at all so it instantly felt like there was an issue or problem. In reality, I was just trying to catch a vibe and get to know her before taking it there. Trust, I would have taken it there but I needed to see who she was outside of just her beauty.
@@coreymjones3 this was really helpful and eye opening - thank you 🫶🏽
That Time Machine question deeper than it sounds. Allen where are you getting these critical thought questions😭.
How can you love or trust someone, when you don’t even love and trust yourself? People have no understanding of what true love looks like and what it feels like. Some people are better off being by themselves 🤷🏾♀️
Phi Beta Sigma representation!@ real talk, plain talk, no chaser!
Prenups are thrown out.
Lawyers get paid b4 and after.
The fact one neeeds a contract to counter a marriage contract says how bad a contract it is.
Prenups are $$$. They can't negotiate child support or custody beforehand. This means some random will have access to your children if she makes bad decisions.
You'll be liable 4 alimony and life support if your neighborhood is nicer than hers post-D. You'll lose time n energy undoing her horrible messaging. You'll be forced to move around bc she'll get thr kids and will take them God knows where.
The state (pimp) owns her and judges/lawyers profit and line their pension from every child support payment. Black widowed, you'll be on the hook bc c hild support payments can be set to any amount x 18 years unlike alimony. Prenups just lock you in...smh.
that's not true. prenups come with prearranged agreements and terms. yes they can be contested, just like wills. it doesnt make them bad. it means there are tons of other circumstances at play.
@@Enronauditor that's not true and you just proved it.
@@Ricocase prenups do not get thrown out if both lawyers and party had enough time to review them… I.e 6 months before marriage
@@Mac-pluto$$$ , can't negotiate child support or custody in pre nup contracts. You'll be liable 4 alimony and life support if your neighborhood is nicer than hers post-D.
The state (pimp) owns her and judges/lawyers profit and line their pension from every child support payment. Black widowed.
Interesting perspective...
Women to busy watching basketball wives with one actual wife of the show women don't live in reality they run when the perfect idea doesn't go well hips not built for it
I'm hoping to get married someday. I'd like to think I'm ready now.
I think we're all just waiting to find the right person.
This is why so many brothers be on the dl
Divorce is illegal in the Philippines. Marry a Filipino or marry your girl in the Philippines.
Terrible advice. The archipelago is quite modern as well. Not to mention, that foreign men MUST support the whole family including extended family.
@@kingmelanin7468 who cares. That's why I also said marry your girl in the Philippines. She can be from here. Just marry her in the Philippines. She can't divorce you. 🤷♂️
@@josephwhite3486 Men who want stable families, lacking feuds and extortion CARE. Besides, how is no divorce here a good thing with so many chameleons out there?
@@kingmelanin7468 that's why I say find a black woman anywhere other than America. Marry her in the Philippines. Of you bring her back and she get brainwashed by feminist it don't matter. She can't divorce you and take half your stuff.
9:33 I don't believe it's as simple as which sex is more marriage ready; however, in my opinion, when men are given responsibility (especially without an easy escape), we are quicker to adapt and accept the current circumstance whether we are happy or not. If we thanos snapped and every person in the US was married, I wonder who would be quicker to play their role.
Yea we definitely take the “imma make the best of this approach”. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.
A whole generation maybe two have been severely DAMAGED guys…. Make lemonade.
❤❤❤
7:35 i think there are more marriage minded women who are not thinking about long-term marriage the non yes man, simp like guys are. Future based marriage minded men outnumber the same focus group in women. It's just a rare thing they bump into each other when they're in that mindset.
When females change up around people rather it's friends, family or out in public like a bar it's a red flag for me.
Men are not scared or being married we are acted of being taken advantage of. Woman are not scared of married they are scared or being actual wives with wife responsibilities 🤷🏿♂️
Choosing fees. Real ones know. She gotta make a proper investment
Like I said last time, he is not very clear when he talk, kind of like the ladies....
He's vague
aye that my pro M.A.B
2030 is Armageddon for Modern Women ( Vincent Price Laugh from Thriller)
Definitely disagree with your boy up there. There's definitely more husband out here than wives. Men nowadays have to work twice as hard for less quality women then our grandmother's. Women are the problem in the dating market nowadays not men and I'm not talking about any specific race demographics either.
If she doesn't spend money on you, she doesn't like you.