You are the CEO of your life. We can't control how people react toward us, but we have control on how those reactions affect us. The least we can do is set a good example by treating people like how we want to be treated.
@NonyaBusiness! yes exactly my thougts. woman don't underatand. it s not a choise to look, it just happens and when that happens everything else goes on mute
thank you this is what I came here for someone mentions this to me and another comment section and I did not believe him so I had to find it and I found it.
@@elainenilsson5472 sexualizing is too highlight aspects to increase lust. objectifying is to highlight aspects that take away empathy. they can and do at times overlap but as you can see there not the same.
GDKLockout well we all know who the person in the comments who doesn't know the difference between a glance and staring in someone's window! Keep it cute I guess
@@Courtcat1324 - No. It's only a problem when the woman decides it's a problem. If it's a person she's interested in, it's just fine. If it's not, it's creepy. Same look - different people. The problem is hers.
Goes on to say looking while having LITTERLLY any other thought but "wow look at that strong independent woman" is still a No No. (Because most of what she said, ISN'T "objectification")
@NonyaBusiness! But the thing about 'feelings' is that they are 'valid' no matter what statistics show. A man could be afraid of another woman or man, bigger or smaller, etc, for any reason, and his fear would still demand respect. Even an invalid could carry a gun.
@NonyaBusiness! that basically means even if you won't do anything, if the woman fears anything, action will be taken. That's like chaining a dog. Wonder how long that will last before guys get pissed.
Cathy Newman : So what your saying is, in 2019, not only does no mean no, but a maybe means no, and a yes can become a no if she changes her mind anytime at all after the fact... Men : yeah, we got it... feminism right?
I thought i was gonna learn something but I felt like I was back at square one by the end of the video. Conclusion: women don't understand what men find attractive.
@@smidefix8147 The impression I get out of Alex's remark is that, believe it or not, we enjoy learning from something intelligent a woman says, regardless of her physical appearance.
This is a highly intelligent woman with a beautiful body who has come to not only bear the inadequate interaction of most people (of both sexes) but is totally at ease with them and present and grounded in a Zen-like sense. Kudos! Thank you for the „Viertelstunde“ of letting me enjoy your presentation!
Perhaps a better title would be "it's ok to be looked at". According to her, her opinions of herself all started to change when she began to interpret people's gazes (which as she said ARE BIOLOGICAL) as objectification and therefore objectified herself. That's the worst part. There's very little effect on your daily life if some stranger objectifies you. It's when it starts to get internalized that it's a problem. We need to make sure that our women and girls know that if they do perceive themselves be objectified... the problem is with the person doing the objectification, not with themselves. I'm not saying women don't get objectified. That would be a pretty stupid premise, but acceptance of oneself is a very important part of the equation that she very much glossed over.
@Clorox Tree Don't need a study. Men desire female beauty. If all had no clothes, there would be no competition for women to reveal more skin to gain advantage.
WiglyWorm she says the media objectifys women, but actually thier mothers can have an influence but they objectify themselves, for a quick buck or to get out of a traffic stop. Then once they objectify themselve they blame patriacy and men for all thier problems. They couldve easily worn pants and full shirt but insted to chose to want to get attention. Either they're naturally narcissists or they create narcism by becoming addicts to attention, either way stop blaming others and start to take responsibility for yourself which i presume what this ted talk is about. But the diagnosis of the blame is wrong so she ends up not taking responsibility and blame men for thier problems. Geez.
Women are encouraged to wear revealing clothes but don't want to be objectified. Men wear baggy clothes and DO want to be objectified. At least so goes the stereotype. In reality we're all human beings.
I respectfully disagree... I asked: What do women say when they buy revealing clothes? "I am buying this so nobody will look at me".... Be realistic. If they didnt want everyone to look they wouldnt wear provocative risque clothes.
"When there's a disparity between what a woman says and what she does, watch what she does." This is some solid advice I heard a while back, hasn't failed me since.
My effective approach for dealing with the issue of offending people is to avoid people if at all possible. It’s really not worth the hassle these days.
The female form is one of the most beautiful things on earth. Women need to understand that, and expect to be admired simply for their physical form at times. It IS possible to admire a woman's beauty respectfully.
Listen; its really simple. Its OK to like what you like and be turned on by what turns you on; just make sure that you equally acknowledge and respect the person that has what you like. Don't be afraid to be honest while being respectful and it will all work out. Especially if the honesty and respect goes both ways...! :)
Not only is it ok to look, our want to look - and subsequent reaction, whether it be desire, arousal or excitement - is both natural and healthy. It would benefit our society as a whole to 1) understand this, and 2) not assume that one is objectifying or degrading another by this and this alone. Wait to believe that one is objectifying or degrading you until they have actually and outwardly done one of these two things, then watch the masses come together to stand against that toxic behavior. Until then, let's not assume that one has done either of these things by simply doing what they are programmed to do by nature.
Smart notice! The video was uploaded since 2014 and about such a video, one really has a lot to comment about it LOL I hope you can read this before it gets deleted too 🤔
rummy98 There was a writer from The Guardian that would complain about the catcalls and attention from non desirable men in her 20s but suddenly when her 30s came and younger and hotter women took her place, she cried about being invisible
Because she's a woman and thus can't necessarily relate to a man's experience of being objectified. But I would genuinely be interested in reading a text on objectification from another man's perspective. I know it happens to men as well (I've been objectified both by women and by other men), but men rarely talk about it for some reason.
Your ideas are logical. Unfortunately, most people are not. Her presentation is geared for a larger audience. A less sophisticated audience. Her presentation was excellent in light of that, eh?
@@2bitmarketanarchist337 Not every "point" someone makes is a "massively significant" point in general. And, even those that are, are only massively significant to people at a particular point in their lives. Also, some awesome points are totally unnecessary to some at various stages of their life. Hey, nice to meet you, by the way!
@@yardmasterswealtheducation8424 well, they aren't even good points. The talk is called "it's ok to look", yet the slide at the end says it's not. But before she recognizes, it's natural to want to look. Maybe it would've been more helpful to talk about what behavior exactly is troubling or offensive to most people and what is not. Many people seem to be confused about this nowadays.
That's not entirely what she's arguing for. You can look but not think about someone differently because of it. If someone assumes something about you because of it then yeah, feel free to correct them.
@@downsjmmyjones101 forgive me for asking but isn't that WHY we dress differently all the time? To be thought about differently? For example, what I wear to a job interview (a first meeting) is looking to yield a different response than what I wear to a first date (another first meeting). I think the speaker seems to miss a fundamental truth of life..you can't control what people think about you, but you CAN influence it. If she WERE truly comfortable with herself the way she says she is then she wouldn't be giving a TED Talk about everyone else changing THEIR opinion.
We've a long way to go, sister. You wouldn't believe some of the idiocy I've heard coming from my male co-workers on just this subject. Myself, as one of the Y-chromosome challenged, the best thing I can do is to admire no matter what she looks like. I had an interesting talk with a female friend regarding body shape once; I had complimented her on her athletic physique and how I thought she had been blessed with it--but, she mentioned that dating had been hard for her because of her seeming lack of curves to attract male interest. That was eye-opening for me.
Is it "objectification" to look at a baby and think it is cute? Every sensory input triggers some response encoded by evolution. Men staring desirously at women with features evolutionarily encoded as fertility markers or as success markers in attracting mates and other women looking at them with envy are evolutionary triggers, not "objectification". Culture can help prevent people from _acting_ on those evolutionary impulses or being stuck in them, but cannot remove the impulses themselves. Sure, it can be difficult being at the receiving end of such unwanted attention, but it is no more difficult than any other handicap. As for stereotyping people from their appearance, it is again an evolutionary response. No one objects to stereotypes when it is to their advantage/liking, but object to it when it is not. Few fall back to using stereotypes when they have more information about the person. Let them have the information, if you can. If you can't, live with the handicap, even though the rest see it as an advantage and not a handicap. The rest of the world doesn't exist to make you feel good about yourself. You may begin with that realisation before starting to solve "problems".
@@conscious_being You said it is an evolutionary response to stereotype. A contentious position surely but even if granted truthfulness for the sake of argument, it still doesn't mean you should actively stereotype people.
@@downsjmmyjones101 I didn't say anyone _should_ stereotype, only that anyone with a functioning brain _expects_ stereotyping to be widely prevalent as a first response, because it is an revolutionary response that was useful. Culture can train people to rein in evolutionary impulses, but cannot remove them.
Why do so many people think that sociology can overcome biology? How is a person supposed to know when someone IS looking for that kind of attention when we are told all the non verbal ques don't mean anything? Since typically women don't aggressive pursue men we are just left to guess in an increasingly hostile environment toward men. Then we wonder why birth rates are dropping.
If you perceive indications that they may be interested in you, you can ask them if they are interested in you. In other words, treat them like a person, and don't treat them as an object.
@@kevinmiller472 but perceptions are subjective. One person can see an action or jestur completely different than another. I really comes down to interpretation which has a better than average chance of being wrong.
@@rickquick8977 What did his reaponse have to do with gestures? It looks like you're arguing against yourself since you believe wearing of certain clothes has a deep social meaning.
@Mark Blokland Yeah, it absolutely is. Fueling the creation of a hostile climate between the genders, however, is not a good thing - no matter in which direction. (And yes, I do realize that any genuine struggle for emancipation also always requires confrontation, but we also mustn't forget the dialectics involved with that, and how quickly a genuine struggle for emancipation can flip to becoming oppressive itself.)
Idk there's just something really contradictory about wearing the revealing clothing of today's fashion & getting offended by the attention it draws. Because that is the primal point of such outfits, it's to gravitate eyes to your flaunted beauty. I understand the concept trying to be pushed about how people should shift their view about women's beauty & or bodies. But I think there is very much so a reason a woman chooses to show her body in such a way that it would get 2nd looks & turn heads. It seems like it boils down to whether they accept/respect the attention from an individual They find attractive.
Smitty, that’s the sort of thinking that, if taken too far, leads down a slippery slope that, at worst, forces women to wear hijabs & burqas so they don’t “tantalize” men. It also assumes men are so weak that they can’t control their own bad behavior; therefore it’s women’s responsibility to not “set men off”. So a man brave enough to endure all sorts of physical pain, can’t prevent himself from catcalling or otherwise harassing a woman, no matter how she’s dressed? That’s hard to believe.
@@funch357 Youre taking things to the extreme, While yes a woman should not be forced to wear a hijab or burqa there is a certain level of decency that should be mantained by women as well, and the men must also have control over their eyes so as not to fall in sin or allow it to ruminate in the mind, its a 2-way street, if she actually wants to solve the problem rather than blaming it on men and that they havbe to not look youre doing the same as what some men say that rapes take place only cause of women,
Her end statement is total BS. If a woman is wearing a tight sweater, most of the time she wants to be looked at. She wants to look good. What’s she wearing it for herself. Maybe, but by wanting herself to feel good because people are looking at her. Men do it too. Men dress certain ways to be looked at. If they workout they show it off. If they are a business man with some money they wear a nice suit and want to show it.
My best hypothesis of what causes objectification is related to perceptual filters: we look to people through lenses based on concepts, like "mother" or "father", "brother", "wife" or "husband", "dwarf", "friend". It seems some people don't look at others with the lenses of "person" ou "human being". Try to change behavior without changing the primary filters might simply not work. Changing one single concept that filters perception can have a huge impact. For example, instead of "crisis", see an "oportunity".
If feminism stopped yelling at me about how much I am hated or how I’m the problem, and started talking to me more like this, a human being, I wouldn’t feel like I am compromising my dignity by supporting it.
In about 1987, I was a Guard (Conductor) on an Aberdeen to Glasgow train. A woman was complaining loudly & rudely about another woman breastfeeding. I removed her from the train at Stirling, the complainer not the mother. She didn't want to leave but then again, she didn't want to leave her luggage on the platform either.
Interesting question. Objectification is like assault. Some people want you to assault them but since it's a violation of most people's boundaries, you're gonna have to get permission first.
James Downs Assault is like assault. Objectification is a perspective, whether from an individual that wants it, or another who perceives it that way. It's not necessarily a good thing. Words are specific, not mailable.
@@clancyoneill Sad that a group of people who take advantage of others hate it when people take advantage of them. That's the most disturbing part. Women hate on other beautiful women only to blame it on men.
basically, educate ourselves in the sociology and psychology of modern humanity and view issues like these through that more educated lens. stupidity and ignorance are major factors in the mistreatment of not just women, but everyone. its not a sin to look, its a sin to objectify more than you have to.
I may be wrong, but I feel that people mostly objectify themselves without realising then call it empowerment. We all understand that attraction exists and it is different for everyone, but we are all so desperate to be attractive that we sell ourselves. It creates such a shallow society and it's scary.
I feel like it is a big assumption that men objectify women as much as women feel they do. Also I wish I was being objectified more often. Also people are objects, they're just objects who take themselves too seriously
@@tarvoc746 Well "subject" is a subset of "object". If we're talking about chairs, "chair" is an object ; if we're talking about a specific chair, the chair is the subject.
@@JukesMcGee We was tough growing up not to stare BUT, You can't & some women get mad , some like it. Me I appreciate Lil o tiggies & BIG O TIGGIES. AT the end of tha lil o tiggies kool with me. Lol
I don’t think the title accurately reflects her message. ‘It’s OK to look’ yet she concludes with ‘stop staring, start talking’. Perhaps a more rounded message would be ‘it’s OK to look, but be aware of the unconscious human instinct to objectify and try to consciously resist.’?
Tarvoc well, ‘be aware’ in the sense of paying attention to it. Breathing and blinking is normally done unconsciously, but you can be aware you’re doing it.
Can't look.. Can't stop.. Help me..!! Might get fired soon.. I start watching this on my phone every time someone brings up an Excel spreadsheet in a meeting.. My therapist said this is an exemplary case of addiction.. I had booked a session with him for every Thursday.. In our last session he'd said he was gonna watch the video for context.. He has had to cancel all 3 sessions since due to personal exigencies..
So she starts off with saying it's okay to look, then she says it's not okay to look because it's objectifying, and then she tells everyone to have one last look and tells them it's okay. That is how feminists like to toy with you and the lack of consistent morals.
J G yes, liberal usage of libtard and conservetard is the academically proven way to discuss with respect, help others understand, and not succumb to stereotypes of assumed political affiliation. The logic and compassion has forced me to swap from a conservetard to a libtard. There is no other choice.
Truth.. I don’t want to look , it is a natural urge a compulsion that is engrained in me since time immemorial I get her point It is never in me to make another human being uncomfortable in any way Perhaps it is time to give some thought to the full message the speaker is presenting here I will do my part
I think it's obvious that women who wear revealing clothes are confident of their bodies and like flaunting it to others as well, there can't be a girl who wears such clothes yet has a problem with guys staring at her body parts, it just doesn't make sense that she would show it in the first place if it wasn't meant to be looked at.
Is it ok to be physically attracted to someone anymore? Or is that objectifying? Someone just make a decision. I don’t care who. I just want a yes or no.
rich people are too buzy trying to get reactions out of you to even care about your words much less think of you as human or even alive for all they care, MINUS ELON MUSK!!!!!!!!!,unless hes an actor too.
She could make her case even more effectively if she delivered the talk topless.
Jesus calm down bruh
Totally! Like seriously, show us the goods already!
I agree
I concur
Ahh a fellow man of culture
By nature men/women are gonna look at what attracts them. We're all attracted to beauty.
And beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So no one is really excluded.
@@chefboiardeeznutz9881 that's exactly right.
Women look: You go girl!!!!!
Men look: Misogynist!!!!!
Fax
TremorChrist Lester Yes like an I ROC Z.
I feel sorry for young adults these days. The contradictory messages on social behaviour is unwavering.
Andrew Thomas You are the Socrates of our times. Now, drink the SJW provided hemlock for your audacity and dedication to truth.
Bro you have a minecraft avatar
But he is right.
Wow...
Dont be, it’s easy, I’m a single male 29 and it’s really easy, you just need to be considerate of others, that’s all it is.
I like her, she’s very moderate. She recognizes our biology but is not excusing rudeness. Perfect way to discuss and god bless her.
your god evolved from canaanite idols
@@tfwnoyandere lol
tfw no yandere.
Not exclusively.
God has always been perfect. He has no need to evolve.
If Steve Buscemi looks, it’s creepy.
If Chris Hemsworth looks, it’s cool.
😂😂
cry now laugh later when I look it’s creepy.
It's the opposite
Simple social science
Its only creepy if you make it creepy
Its ok to look if you're good looking.
That sums it up perfectly.
This!
Only a couple seconds
A subtle glance in passing is ok
@@Aldo7899 unless they notice then it may or may not be
She reminds me of Fairy Godmother from Shrek 2.
Oh dang
I can see that.
Omg true
OH EMMM GEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! Freaking A yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes she does lmao and she's freaking hilarious lol
Omg
“There’s no shame in looking at a body.”
That’s not what you’ve been telling me for the past 13 minutes.
@RunFor OurLives But is it okay to objectify someone based on their utility to you?
@Spyda99 - You mean like when women ogle at my biceps or my Mercedes?
Slaphappy Duplenty I get what you’re going for but your Mercedes is a car not a part of your body
@@TheRInRELXS you know what he means man. The car represents money which attracts women. A LOT of them. That's how women objectify men.
actually it is
Lmao that guy thought he was gonna get to feel them up🤣
😂😂😂😂
He made a snap decision that it was worth the risk...
@@zerg9523 lmao 😂😂😂
Sure did
😂😂😂
She has the perfect voice for this.
Made her so much hotter P:
I would like to bury my face in those luv pillows. And out of respect I would then shake her hand to say thanks.
@@planetstupider502 lmfao you fuckin funny man you.
And boobs
Like nails on a chalkboard
"I think you're getting it already."
: *Literally no one.*
I guessed they all were about the same weight
My brain; Wow 750 sheets of paper have the same amount of calories as a baby?
This ted talk created more questions and confusions than answers.
😂😂😂 yo exactly what I thought
Absolutely!
You are the CEO of your life. We can't control how people react toward us, but we have control on how those reactions affect us. The least we can do is set a good example by treating people like how we want to be treated.
CEO training. Don’t look. Don’t comment.
If I was to treat women the way I want them to treat me …. I would not be employable.
@@joecliffordson Interesting.
This is one of the weirdest flexes I’ve ever seen
But ok
Biggest flexes on TedEd
Genuinely laughed out loud because this was not the comment I was expecting to see! Well done!
Agreed! Sadly I watched over 3 min of it.
An excellent talk summed up by calling it a flex...
I still don't know what this talk is about
FelineHYPER Boobs.
It doesn’t really matter.
Balls on your neck i guess or something like that ...It is a gender studied class more o less, at least we didn t get a guilt trip that bad
@NonyaBusiness! yes exactly my thougts. woman don't underatand. it s not a choise to look, it just happens and when that happens everything else goes on mute
Not objectifying people based on physical featires
4:38 that dude totally thought he was gonna cop a feel lmao
S O V I E T gotem
Paused at 4:50... why the paper on chair...... rehearsed?
Sadly
Yep
thank you this is what I came here for someone mentions this to me and another comment section and I did not believe him so I had to find it and I found it.
sexualizing and objectifying are not the same thing.
One more time for the simpletons in the back!
We been knew
What's the difference?
@@elainenilsson5472
sexualizing is too highlight aspects to increase lust. objectifying is to highlight aspects that take away empathy. they can and do at times overlap but as you can see there not the same.
And it’s not just men who do it 😉🤷🏾♂️
4 years later. Looking can cost you your job. That didnt age well.
GDKLockout well we all know who the person in the comments who doesn't know the difference between a glance and staring in someone's window! Keep it cute I guess
Courtney Warren .
@@Courtcat1324 - No. It's only a problem when the woman decides it's a problem. If it's a person she's interested in, it's just fine. If it's not, it's creepy. Same look - different people. The problem is hers.
Richard Chappell agreed. F* this b*ch
Richard Chappell women can be just as creepy if not worse around good looking dudes. Those thirst tweets are real 😂
This lady is pure class.
Any woman: “it’s okay to look”
Men: *Wolves by Kanye West starts playing*
That's the weirdest damn music video I've ever seen.
SIDO CHESTO
Saucey Noodle I literally played the song after reading this. 😂😂😂😂 perfect 👌
I appreciate this reference!
@@Competitive_Antagonist have you seen the sledgehammer music video?
"Its okay to look"..........(Every straight man everywhere): Yes!!!! Finally!!!!
Goes on to say looking while having LITTERLLY any other thought but "wow look at that strong independent woman" is still a No No.
(Because most of what she said, ISN'T "objectification")
Guys do get looked at when they have pecs if they are muscular it’s honestly the same thing but it’s more acceptable
BullShark it’s a double standard. It’s ok to look if you’re attractive
@NonyaBusiness! Yes, the fear can still be there. You may not fear it, but others likely do.
@NonyaBusiness! But the thing about 'feelings' is that they are 'valid' no matter what statistics show. A man could be afraid of another woman or man, bigger or smaller, etc, for any reason, and his fear would still demand respect. Even an invalid could carry a gun.
@NonyaBusiness! I didn't know that all men could fight off an armed assailant
@NonyaBusiness! that basically means even if you won't do anything, if the woman fears anything, action will be taken. That's like chaining a dog. Wonder how long that will last before guys get pissed.
Started looking before she started talking
ELpatron I didn’t care until she brought it up 😂🤦🏾♂️
😂
...she was talking?
Because of the way she packaged it.
😂😂😂
And the moral is - don't interpret attention seeking behaviour as attention seeking behaviour.
Best comment!
I actually think that at least in a certain sense, that's a pretty good lesson.
Definitely best comment
Cathy Newman : So what your saying is, in 2019, not only does no mean no, but a maybe means no, and a yes can become a no if she changes her mind anytime at all after the fact...
Men : yeah, we got it... feminism right?
Haha, that's one to remember!
It's okay to-
*HARASSMENT SUIT, FILED.*
I thought i was gonna learn something but I felt like I was back at square one by the end of the video. Conclusion: women don't understand what men find attractive.
Yes they do, or do u mean that women dress nice just to impress other women?
@@smidefix8147 The impression I get out of Alex's remark is that, believe it or not, we enjoy learning from something intelligent a woman says, regardless of her physical appearance.
This is a highly intelligent woman with a beautiful body who has come to not only bear the inadequate interaction of most people (of both sexes) but is totally at ease with them and present and grounded in a Zen-like sense. Kudos!
Thank you for the „Viertelstunde“ of letting me enjoy your presentation!
I’m getting a strong sense of “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” from this talk. That’s disappointing.
Perhaps a better title would be "it's ok to be looked at".
According to her, her opinions of herself all started to change when she began to interpret people's gazes (which as she said ARE BIOLOGICAL) as objectification and therefore objectified herself. That's the worst part. There's very little effect on your daily life if some stranger objectifies you. It's when it starts to get internalized that it's a problem. We need to make sure that our women and girls know that if they do perceive themselves be objectified... the problem is with the person doing the objectification, not with themselves.
I'm not saying women don't get objectified. That would be a pretty stupid premise, but acceptance of oneself is a very important part of the equation that she very much glossed over.
Wow. Truth. You objectify yourself.
I think it goes both ways. People can treat themselves and/or others as objects.
@Clorox Tree Don't need a study. Men desire female beauty. If all had no clothes, there would be no competition for women to reveal more skin to gain advantage.
Women also objectify men, so it's no big deal
WiglyWorm she says the media objectifys women, but actually thier mothers can have an influence but they objectify themselves, for a quick buck or to get out of a traffic stop. Then once they objectify themselve they blame patriacy and men for all thier problems. They couldve easily worn pants and full shirt but insted to chose to want to get attention. Either they're naturally narcissists or they create narcism by becoming addicts to attention, either way stop blaming others and start to take responsibility for yourself which i presume what this ted talk is about. But the diagnosis of the blame is wrong so she ends up not taking responsibility and blame men for thier problems. Geez.
Women are encouraged to wear revealing clothes but don't want to be objectified. Men wear baggy clothes and DO want to be objectified. At least so goes the stereotype. In reality we're all human beings.
I respectfully disagree...
I asked: What do women say when they buy revealing clothes? "I am buying this so nobody will look at me"....
Be realistic. If they didnt want everyone to look they wouldnt wear provocative risque clothes.
"When there's a disparity between what a woman says and what she does, watch what she does."
This is some solid advice I heard a while back, hasn't failed me since.
@@Kuk0san Man, this is so true!!
So why do they never admit this...a woman walks down the street in a police uniform...etc.....
yeah,i don't get it either.
This assumes that revealing clothes are *meant* to reveal. They have more than one function than just to reveal.
I am objectified when the lawn needs mowing. Wonderful talk, sent to my daughter, ty.
This should be top comment.
@@dontfeelcold in Australia it would be.
AMEN
Well that's 13:42 I will never get back. My radical suggestion...lets treat women like just like men. With all the expectations, accountability.
My effective approach for dealing with the issue of offending people is to avoid people if at all possible. It’s really not worth the hassle these days.
If I am looking at her pretty eyes, am I objectifying her?
Hey buddy, eyes down here!
Perhaps
Yes
Probably.
You unfeeling beast!
The female form is one of the most beautiful things on earth.
Women need to understand that, and expect to be admired simply for their physical form at times.
It IS possible to admire a woman's beauty respectfully.
❤️❤️❤️
Yes don't keep staring at them just be subtle
Just always be respectful, I think is what she is trying to say.
Listen; its really simple. Its OK to like what you like and be turned on by what turns you on; just make sure that you equally acknowledge and respect the person that has what you like. Don't be afraid to be honest while being respectful and it will all work out. Especially if the honesty and respect goes both ways...! :)
I watched this whole thing on mute.
Marv why?
Thomas Hindmarsh it’s a joke
DillyDilly02 but why?
Oh shoot there was audio?
Result?
The stereotypes are still better than those for being a short man.
Not only is it ok to look, our want to look - and subsequent reaction, whether it be desire, arousal or excitement - is both natural and healthy.
It would benefit our society as a whole to 1) understand this, and 2) not assume that one is objectifying or degrading another by this and this alone. Wait to believe that one is objectifying or degrading you until they have actually and outwardly done one of these two things, then watch the masses come together to stand against that toxic behavior.
Until then, let's not assume that one has done either of these things by simply doing what they are programmed to do by nature.
I didn't expect to come during a TEDxxx talk and yet here we are.
@Wayne Wallace are you offering and is it extra?
You won the internet 👍
I have a feeling, judging from the comparitively low amount of likes on comments, that someone is removing them lol
Smart notice! The video was uploaded since 2014 and about such a video, one really has a lot to comment about it LOL
I hope you can read this before it gets deleted too 🤔
@@starfedright6362 I'm glad I have!
A handful is more than enough, honestly. Not projecting an attitude of superiority because of one's beauty, priceless.
If men stopped looking, cat-calling and paying any attention to women, they would be the first to cry foul.
rummy98 There was a writer from The Guardian that would complain about the catcalls and attention from non desirable men in her 20s but suddenly when her 30s came and younger and hotter women took her place, she cried about being invisible
@@olegunnarsolskjaer337 It's like they don't want the attention. They just want to know if they did want it, that it would be there lol.
They already do
Why do we talk about this as if men aren't objectified as well?
Because she's a woman and thus can't necessarily relate to a man's experience of being objectified. But I would genuinely be interested in reading a text on objectification from another man's perspective. I know it happens to men as well (I've been objectified both by women and by other men), but men rarely talk about it for some reason.
@@tarvoc746 because we are taught to not complain
@@christianrichardson8956 Yes, but then so are women.
Tarvoc go listen to Patrice O’Neal
She has nothing else going obviously
Meh could have been so much more. I feel like there wasn’t much content or much of a true conclusion in this.
That was about my thought. She could've said as much as she did with about a 1/4 of the effort. "Women are people too, treat them as such".
Your ideas are logical. Unfortunately, most people are not. Her presentation is geared for a larger audience. A less sophisticated audience. Her presentation was excellent in light of that, eh?
@@yardmasterswealtheducation8424 I enjoyed it certainly and I think I mostly agree with the point that I *think* she's making.
@@2bitmarketanarchist337 Not every "point" someone makes is a "massively significant" point in general. And, even those that are, are only massively significant to people at a particular point in their lives. Also, some awesome points are totally unnecessary to some at various stages of their life.
Hey, nice to meet you, by the way!
@@yardmasterswealtheducation8424 well, they aren't even good points. The talk is called "it's ok to look", yet the slide at the end says it's not. But before she recognizes, it's natural to want to look.
Maybe it would've been more helpful to talk about what behavior exactly is troubling or offensive to most people and what is not.
Many people seem to be confused about this nowadays.
When she said the yoga position was "the plow" I lost it
A person of culture right here!
She has nothing but shock factor its sad
Totally lost it. 😂😂
She was right. That is the plow position...
10/10 would plow
Wrong title. Should have been "How to contradict yourself as many times as possible in 13 minutes and 42 seconds"
Yeah, I agree that she comes across as self-contradicting. More specifically, I think she comes across as confused. Then again, so am I.
Im going to wear a speedo everywhere then say things like “my eyes are up here ladies!!..”
slipagent6 😂😂😂
slipagent6 👏 👏👏👏
let us know how that works out for ya!
That's not entirely what she's arguing for. You can look but not think about someone differently because of it. If someone assumes something about you because of it then yeah, feel free to correct them.
@@downsjmmyjones101 forgive me for asking but isn't that WHY we dress differently all the time? To be thought about differently? For example, what I wear to a job interview (a first meeting) is looking to yield a different response than what I wear to a first date (another first meeting). I think the speaker seems to miss a fundamental truth of life..you can't control what people think about you, but you CAN influence it. If she WERE truly comfortable with herself the way she says she is then she wouldn't be giving a TED Talk about everyone else changing THEIR opinion.
We've a long way to go, sister. You wouldn't believe some of the idiocy I've heard coming from my male co-workers on just this subject. Myself, as one of the Y-chromosome challenged, the best thing I can do is to admire no matter what she looks like. I had an interesting talk with a female friend regarding body shape once; I had complimented her on her athletic physique and how I thought she had been blessed with it--but, she mentioned that dating had been hard for her because of her seeming lack of curves to attract male interest. That was eye-opening for me.
An athletic figure can be very beautiful
Is it "objectification" to look at a baby and think it is cute?
Every sensory input triggers some response encoded by evolution. Men staring desirously at women with features evolutionarily encoded as fertility markers or as success markers in attracting mates and other women looking at them with envy are evolutionary triggers, not "objectification". Culture can help prevent people from _acting_ on those evolutionary impulses or being stuck in them, but cannot remove the impulses themselves.
Sure, it can be difficult being at the receiving end of such unwanted attention, but it is no more difficult than any other handicap.
As for stereotyping people from their appearance, it is again an evolutionary response. No one objects to stereotypes when it is to their advantage/liking, but object to it when it is not. Few fall back to using stereotypes when they have more information about the person. Let them have the information, if you can. If you can't, live with the handicap, even though the rest see it as an advantage and not a handicap.
The rest of the world doesn't exist to make you feel good about yourself. You may begin with that realisation before starting to solve "problems".
the inquisition is keeping an eye on you...
Just because you have an urge to do something doesn't mean should indulge it.
@@downsjmmyjones101 Did I say anything contrary to what you said?
@@conscious_being You said it is an evolutionary response to stereotype. A contentious position surely but even if granted truthfulness for the sake of argument, it still doesn't mean you should actively stereotype people.
@@downsjmmyjones101 I didn't say anyone _should_ stereotype, only that anyone with a functioning brain _expects_ stereotyping to be widely prevalent as a first response, because it is an revolutionary response that was useful. Culture can train people to rein in evolutionary impulses, but cannot remove them.
13 minutes of talk and 0 content
Yeah but she has gorgeous tits so that's OK.
@@alfazefirus 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
@@alfazefirus lol, I wonder if that's the *actual* point of this video.
@@tarvoc746 not sure, after the first 20 sec I muted it... Do you think we are objectifying her by any chance?
@@alfazefirus That depends. Why did you continue to watch in the first place?
She reminds me of Joan Holloway Harris (Christina Hendricks) in Mad Men. She even used the same quote.
Georg1492 I just thought the same thing
It's the same vocal delivery and lisp
Why do so many people think that sociology can overcome biology? How is a person supposed to know when someone IS looking for that kind of attention when we are told all the non verbal ques don't mean anything? Since typically women don't aggressive pursue men we are just left to guess in an increasingly hostile environment toward men. Then we wonder why birth rates are dropping.
If you perceive indications that they may be interested in you, you can ask them if they are interested in you. In other words, treat them like a person, and don't treat them as an object.
@@kevinmiller472 but perceptions are subjective. One person can see an action or jestur completely different than another. I really comes down to interpretation which has a better than average chance of being wrong.
@@rickquick8977 What did his reaponse have to do with gestures? It looks like you're arguing against yourself since you believe wearing of certain clothes has a deep social meaning.
So what's your favorite incel site?
@Mark Blokland Yeah, it absolutely is.
Fueling the creation of a hostile climate between the genders, however, is not a good thing - no matter in which direction. (And yes, I do realize that any genuine struggle for emancipation also always requires confrontation, but we also mustn't forget the dialectics involved with that, and how quickly a genuine struggle for emancipation can flip to becoming oppressive itself.)
It's simple: If you're not selling, don't advertise!
She did this Ted Talk for the Clout.
Yes, and if I'm wearing a uniform...I don't want to be assumed I am a solider...or a cop...or a chef...
pillowbugg Dave Chappelle 😂
Don’t flaunt,don’t conceal,don’t be proud,don’t be shy,just be natural,it’s there,it’s gift of nature,be comfortable,
I remember when TED talks were a respected medium with quality speakers and quality content.
Yes. It seems thar they are only seeking attention lately
This ted talk from 5 years ago
5yr old vid bud 😬
@@thicc3yrold Are the new ones any better? Seems like they've only gone downhill.
Idk there's just something really contradictory about wearing the revealing clothing of today's fashion & getting offended by the attention it draws. Because that is the primal point of such outfits, it's to gravitate eyes to your flaunted beauty.
I understand the concept trying to be pushed about how people should shift their view about women's beauty & or bodies.
But I think there is very much so a reason a woman chooses to show her body in such a way that it would get 2nd looks & turn heads. It seems like it boils down to whether they accept/respect the attention from an individual They find attractive.
Smitty, that’s the sort of thinking that, if taken too far, leads down a slippery slope that, at worst, forces women to wear hijabs & burqas so they don’t “tantalize” men. It also assumes men are so weak that they can’t control their own bad behavior; therefore it’s women’s responsibility to not “set men off”. So a man brave enough to endure all sorts of physical pain, can’t prevent himself from catcalling or otherwise harassing a woman, no matter how she’s dressed? That’s hard to believe.
So don't take the thinking too far; problem solved. There is validity to it so it shouldn't be ignored.
@@funch357 Youre taking things to the extreme, While yes a woman should not be forced to wear a hijab or burqa there is a certain level of decency that should be mantained by women as well, and the men must also have control over their eyes so as not to fall in sin or allow it to ruminate in the mind, its a 2-way street, if she actually wants to solve the problem rather than blaming it on men and that they havbe to not look youre doing the same as what some men say that rapes take place only cause of women,
It’s ok to look, but don’t stare. There’s a difference. Keep it short.
That's what I've been saying.
Sneak a peek, save it in the spank bank, move on.
@@maddogmarc well said
Yeah like just be subtle don't keep staring at it all the time like a creep
Her end statement is total BS. If a woman is wearing a tight sweater, most of the time she wants to be looked at. She wants to look good. What’s she wearing it for herself. Maybe, but by wanting herself to feel good because people are looking at her. Men do it too. Men dress certain ways to be looked at. If they workout they show it off. If they are a business man with some money they wear a nice suit and want to show it.
She is amazing. It completely changed my perspective of viewing women. No other videos ever did that.
Best Tedx-talk ever! But my soundsetting was on mute, anyone know what she was talking about?
Men and babies love tatas I see nothing wrong with it. Besides if she is showing clevage then she knows what she is doing!
Total cop out, should have done the whole speech topless...
I just love the comment section
It's crazy just how much of a world, an entire book, that one person can be.
There's a difference between appreciation and objectification.
Absolutely! I think she left that door open. Appreciating her appearance in the context of all she is as a person is all she's asking for.
@@ttystikkrocks1042 Are human minds self-aware enough to always make that distinction correctly though?
There’s a difference between glancing and staring
But not much
So in other words, its alot safer to appreciate the veiw from the back then the front.
My best hypothesis of what causes objectification is related to perceptual filters: we look to people through lenses based on concepts, like "mother" or "father", "brother", "wife" or "husband", "dwarf", "friend". It seems some people don't look at others with the lenses of "person" ou "human being". Try to change behavior without changing the primary filters might simply not work.
Changing one single concept that filters perception can have a huge impact. For example, instead of "crisis", see an "oportunity".
If feminism stopped yelling at me about how much I am hated or how I’m the problem, and started talking to me more like this, a human being, I wouldn’t feel like I am compromising my dignity by supporting it.
I know you said this 7 months ago but yeah I agree. I don’t think you’re the problem. I’m sorry that people made you feel that way.
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Ghandi
Thank you.
In about 1987, I was a Guard (Conductor) on an Aberdeen to Glasgow train. A woman was complaining loudly & rudely about another woman breastfeeding. I removed her from the train at Stirling, the complainer not the mother. She didn't want to leave but then again, she didn't want to leave her luggage on the platform either.
Well done !
Great science fiction story
Wait... you have herniated disks in your neck and you do the plow? Bad idea.
My question is how she has all those issues and hasn't had the reduction yet? DDD is in no way worth all that pain.
@@ruthie8334 I think it might be a pretty risky procedure.
@@ruthie8334 I am GG and never had pain. Small frame, too. Maybe its the posture?
Steamroller.
Bekah Hoffman she did
It's a double edged sword. There are still many women that dress indeed, to be objectified.
If it is HER CHOICE to be "objectified" then she isn't really being objectified, now is she?
But...girly-girly...it's these AWFUL men
Interesting question. Objectification is like assault. Some people want you to assault them but since it's a violation of most people's boundaries, you're gonna have to get permission first.
James Downs Assault is like assault. Objectification is a perspective, whether from an individual that wants it, or another who perceives it that way. It's not necessarily a good thing. Words are specific, not mailable.
@@scottdetter Just like assault, objectification can be unwanted and cause harm.
It's not objectifying if I subjectively think she's got a great body.
Brad K won't subjectively thinking about her, or her looks, makes her an object tho...?
@@kintokisa
So far 7 of 8 people got the joke. Where do you think you are in those numbers?
I subjectively was bored by your joke. I'll go back to objectively judging her body now.
Tell this to strippers, twitter thots, instagram thots, and even twitch thots who purposely objectify themselves to gain money.
@@clancyoneill Sad that a group of people who take advantage of others hate it when people take advantage of them. That's the most disturbing part.
Women hate on other beautiful women only to blame it on men.
@@scottsommer9843 They took advantage of simps. I see no problem, every woman should milk a simp's funds dry.
@@RegularGuyism
That's fine. The problem is you can't be mad at objectifying women AND profit from it at the same time.
basically, educate ourselves in the sociology and psychology of modern humanity and view issues like these through that more educated lens. stupidity and ignorance are major factors in the mistreatment of not just women, but everyone. its not a sin to look, its a sin to objectify more than you have to.
I may be wrong, but I feel that people mostly objectify themselves without realising then call it empowerment. We all understand that attraction exists and it is different for everyone, but we are all so desperate to be attractive that we sell ourselves. It creates such a shallow society and it's scary.
I feel like it is a big assumption that men objectify women as much as women feel they do. Also I wish I was being objectified more often. Also people are objects, they're just objects who take themselves too seriously
People are subjects. In fact, the words "people" and "subjects" are synonyms.
@@tarvoc746 subject is just a way to describe a kind of object
@@enoasic1072 Explain your position.
@@tarvoc746 Well "subject" is a subset of "object". If we're talking about chairs, "chair" is an object ; if we're talking about a specific chair, the chair is the subject.
@@lonewaer That isn't even the correct definition of "subject" in the *grammatical* sense of the term.
Modern Feminism: the undisputed champion of the double standard.
100% correct
She got my attention. She'll make a great teacher or professor, everyone would sign up for her class..
Ced Reese yeah she would be a great motorboat instructor
@@JukesMcGee We was tough growing up not to stare BUT, You can't & some women get mad , some like it. Me I appreciate Lil o tiggies & BIG O TIGGIES. AT the end of tha lil o tiggies kool with me. Lol
Nice observations, but the finale is not only lacking real content or conclusion, but even contradicts the title of the discussion.
Great shift in tone during this talk. Hopefully we can all start seeing souls and hearts. Humanity has far to come.
Modern women try to make everything so complicated that it's just not worth sorting out.
I don’t think the title accurately reflects her message. ‘It’s OK to look’ yet she concludes with ‘stop staring, start talking’. Perhaps a more rounded message would be ‘it’s OK to look, but be aware of the unconscious human instinct to objectify and try to consciously resist.’?
How can you be aware of something unconscious?
Tarvoc well, ‘be aware’ in the sense of paying attention to it. Breathing and blinking is normally done unconsciously, but you can be aware you’re doing it.
Her point of views changed when she took feminism as a class.
Lady is so privledged to have people look at her..
So many people in this thread /seriously/ need to rewatch this but with their eyes closed so they can /listen/ to it.
Reading these comments, I really feel like we didn't all watch the same video
Matthew Miller is it normally the case? We things not as they are but as we are...
Can't look.. Can't stop.. Help me..!!
Might get fired soon.. I start watching this on my phone every time someone brings up an Excel spreadsheet in a meeting..
My therapist said this is an exemplary case of addiction.. I had booked a session with him for every Thursday.. In our last session he'd said he was gonna watch the video for context.. He has had to cancel all 3 sessions since due to personal exigencies..
So she starts off with saying it's okay to look, then she says it's not okay to look because it's objectifying, and then she tells everyone to have one last look and tells them it's okay. That is how feminists like to toy with you and the lack of consistent morals.
I think what she meant is that, it's ok to look but don't objectify or/and stereotype, also don't be a creep ( the last one from me )
@Clorox Tree And she is trying to correct the inacxurate conclusions made by those registrations.
@Donald Piniach That's actually a very good point.
Clorox Tree yet it is the man’s fault and he should be punished for how she dresses.
J G yes, liberal usage of libtard and conservetard is the academically proven way to discuss with respect, help others understand, and not succumb to stereotypes of assumed political affiliation. The logic and compassion has forced me to swap from a conservetard to a libtard. There is no other choice.
Truth..
I don’t want to look , it is a natural urge a compulsion that is engrained in me since time immemorial
I get her point
It is never in me to make another human being uncomfortable in any way
Perhaps it is time to give some thought to the full message the speaker is presenting here
I will do my part
Ted has really deteriorated.
Go give a talk and make it better.
Shaddups
I think it's obvious that women who wear revealing clothes are confident of their bodies and like flaunting it to others as well, there can't be a girl who wears such clothes yet has a problem with guys staring at her body parts, it just doesn't make sense that she would show it in the first place if it wasn't meant to be looked at.
This lady is robophobic. Objectifying robots is not okay.
Jimmy See. It’s botism 😂
IzzyLand Beyond 👨🏾💻💡🌟🌍 that comment was botistic tbh
Is it ok to be physically attracted to someone anymore? Or is that objectifying?
Someone just make a decision. I don’t care who. I just want a yes or no.
ep1phany62 I think you missed the point. No one is saying you can’t be physically attracted to women
"Is iT oK To bE pHySiCallY attraCteD to soMeoNe??!?"
Did you really not watch the video before commenting that
I'll never forget this talk. What was it about?
Im just glad i have the ability to switch to a better video.
What happens when you pass a woman while walking on the streets and you turn your head to look back at her but she catches you looking? Busted!
Might also wonder why she was looking 😋
People who get too much attention should hang out with people who get No attention and see who has it worse 😩
rich people are too buzy trying to get reactions out of you to even care about your words much less think of you as human or even alive for all they care,
MINUS ELON MUSK!!!!!!!!!,unless hes an actor too.