My kid says she's trans. What do I do?
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- Опубліковано 7 січ 2021
- If your child declares that he or she wants to identify as the opposite sex, what should you do? What's the most loving choice? In this clip from the Lust is Boring podcast, Jason Evert discusses this with Father Malachy Joseph Napier, C.F.R. For the full episode, click here • Gender: Why "Matter" M...
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My son is trans. He is 13. We see some of the best doctors at our local university hospital. They have a therapist which is key too. We all decided that we make no lasting medications or surgeries until 18. We call him by his chosen name, uses the pronouns to his gender. We live in a progressive city where everyone respect these things which is also important. Looking back now I can see where when he was a toddler and elementary age. He has always been his gender.
I find it hard to believe that people are making permanent decisions when they are so young. Parents also have to be involved, and I am so lucky that he was brave enough to tell me.
Interesting video, but I see that your examples were pretty off, no they were way off. Meet your children where they are. It’s ok to think they are a different gender and change their mind. Who cares? My two daughters insisted on being called Elsa and Anna for a whole year. Lol
Make them feel loved is the right advice, but don’t try to steer them out of it. Let them live it a while or forever. It won’t hurt them, and they will learn from you and want to tell you the private things that they might otherwise not share with you.
Thanks for the comment, Lilly. I am sure you love your child, and that this hasn't been an easy road. Please take a moment to check out some of these resources for your child: www.cardinalsupportnetwork.com/ and www.transgendertrend.com/ and ua-cam.com/video/fSKQfATa-1I/v-deo.html Unfortunately, many of the gender therapists in progressive university hospitals seem to think that if a child experiences gender dysphoria, that he or she "is" trans and as a result will collaborate with the child's disconnect from reality. As a result, many young people are transitioning in their late teens and then deeply regret it when their brains finish developing in their mid-twenties. Then, they begin to ask their therapists and family members, "Why did you all go along with this delusion because I thought it was true? I know you were just trying to take care of me, but how come no one told me the truth?" See 4thwavenow.com/ for the information that such therapists pretend doesn't happen.
I love this comment ❤
When Jason described the rattlesnake story... I've never heard anything more American 😂😂😂
Here in Ontario Canada once the patient is 16 the parents can be legally barred from all medical appointments. Doctors and pharmacists cannot release medical information to parents. Sixteen year olds can leagally leave home permanently too.
Please share the link to where you read that ( the counselor influencing the child story ) if you read it somewhere. I’m curious. It just sounds so wrong .
So, if children can sue their parents, say their transgender, etc, etc, then at that age, they should be able to: 1) Vote. 2) Bear Arms. 3) Drink Alcohol. 4) Smoke. 5) Do Prison Time, if found guilty of a Felony. 6) Drive a Vehicle....Etc, Etc, Etc...... As Adults, Have we lost reality...Enough is Enough.....
I’m going through this and I have no clue how to handle it. I will love her no matter what but accepting the fact that one day I may not have the daughter I was given kills me.
I feel this!! My 13 year old son wants to be a woman. I am lost at sea...
My daughter is not sure what she wants. She doesn't like the girly stuff, but two months prior she bought a few skirts and more girly stuff etc. Her mother is NB, but dresses kinda like a dude, but dates a guy(we separated for other reasons).
I've spoken at length about this stuff with her. She likes to mimic her mom. I've told her you need to be you, and no one else. I'm taking a more autonomous approach to this. She needs to figure herself out. I told her no drugs, or surgeries. Don't do something you'll regret later. It's very hard.
@Rachel Bolejack I was 13 when I came to out to my mother. It was extremely difficult, and it took a very long time of mental thought, it was pretty hard on her. She was torn, but, we talked and talked. The more I opened up to my mother and the more I told her about my struggles and wishes for support, the easier it became. We both came to God over everything, praying with eachother and going to church, and I've never been closer with my Mother or God than I am now, I come to him in prayer with nearly everything in life. I am 16 now, and close to starting medical treatment for my transition, but this was only after much therapy and self-awareness. I'm incredibly grateful for my mother's unending love for her child, take this as you will, and take care. ❤️
Your child is still your child regardless of gender and clothes
Ask yourself this though. Would you rather have a dead fucking daughter, or an alive and thriving son? If you had had a son instead, would you love that child any less? That’s your KID, grow up and act like it.
God bless you guys! Great advice!
to know this is what my parents feel about me is depressing
Same
No all parents feel like this. Hope you are ok. Some parents love accept there children no matter what.
My nephew of 19 revealed to me that he is trans, but hasn't told the rest of the family.
I don't know what to say to him. I feel like social media and tiktok are confusing our children and convincing them that ANY confusion they have about themselves automatically makes them trans. It's a sickening way of indoctrinating children.
Social medium is definitely confusing kids, who are being indoctrinated their gender is based on a stereotype. Any male not conforming to male stereotypes are indoctrinated they are trans time for meds leading to removing healthy body organs. Being gay will be a thing of the past.
So...what do you do when your ex whos full into this ideology. Seems to be "grooming" my daughter into this. When I ask my daughter what's going on. Shes like I dont get along with other girls, and I don to like the beauty standards . Ok .your 12, now 13. Shes chopped her hair, dresses more boyish. Uses a different name with her mother, but goes by her birth name with my side of the family. She says she doesn't care, she doesn't present any typical male stereotypes.
From my point of view, a basic tomboy.
We do things together, hiking, gaming etc.
Ive asked my ex, if shes influencing this, in any way. My daughter has a habit of mimicing her mother.
If shes trying to find herself ok, I dont want her to be mentally messed up being one person to one parent, and another person to me.
Here are some helpful resources for families: chastity.com/gender/
Have you considered the possibility that your child is not comfortable being fully honest with you? And maybe that’s why they don’t use a different name around you, and don’t act in a traditionally “male” way?
@@Tyisdeadinside Yes, which is why I'll just let her talk when she's ready.
My body is male appearing, but I have XX chromosomes and suffer from gender dysphoria. I also suspect I may have a uterus but I haven’t had a full scan yet. My doctor keeps saying it’s not worth it because it’s a rare condition. The only reason I know I have XX is because I have the supplies and equipment to do karyotypes from identifying carex species. What do I do?
Like you, I agree that it would be worth it to explore this, so you can learn more. Some men do have XX chromosomes and an active SRY gene. Now, if your current physician doesn't want to explore this further, and you do, I would recommend talking to a different doctor.
@@Chastityproject Is it a sin to take HRT? I feel so disconnected from my body. It’s like I’m just forced to live in this random body. It’s so hard to describe. I don’t know what to do.
The story you shared about the counselor…. Do you actually know a counselor that did that ? Where did you hear that’s how counselors handle such things ? I heard counselors are supposed to be trained not to implant false beliefs unintentionally. If they did that , it sounds illegal .
I disagree that the body reveals who you are . What about the kids who actually do feel they were born the wrong gender ? You’re going to damage those kids. Now I agree we need to be sure a child’s not confused and I agree with waiting until they’re adults before letting them do any surgery but all kids are not born straight . Sorry but from what I’ve seen in my own family growing up ,they’re just not . My family was religious to .I’ve seen it growing up and I’m 49 so this isn’t new . People just didn’t talk about it due to the stigma . I am worried it’s excessive these days but I have no proof it isn’t just that people are less ashamed to speak up now. What would you call a child who was born with both genitals . That does happen you know . In my mind if that can happen to the physical body then it can happen within our brains as far as how we feel about our gender .
It still scares me though because it’s something you really want to be sure of before making changes I imagine .
I feel like we are doing things correctly, but wanted to see some other people’s experiences.
My daughter came out then as trans. She is 11. I said “OK. You know I love you without limits.” Then I asked her why she was feeling that she is trans, and I listened. The I told her that we are not doing drugs or surgeries. If she wants it when she is 18 I’ll support her decision. In the mean time if she wants to dress like a boy, I’m good with that.
There are a lot of changes between now and 5-7 years.
In the mean time, I have a boy to help me with the projects on the cabin this summer. The kind of stuff I had to do when so was 11. Some of it sucks, but it’s what boys have to do with their Dads. She might decide dresses are better (kidding)
Jason needs to do smaller, shorter videos regularly. He knows so much but there is barely anything out on UA-cam with him explaining anything.
My kid turned 18 and decided that he is really a woman. Never said anything about it growing up. I saw no signs of it growing up. He started taking hormone therapy a few months after that. This generation is really insane. He's not gay. He likes computers and violent video games. Makes no sense. Nobody did this stuff when I was growing up.
Sorry to hear about this. If you come to chastity.com/gender/ you will find some helpful resources for parents on this subject. God belss
@@jasonevert Thsnk you. Bless you too.
Umm, idk what to think of the trans part… but you made a comment of him being not gay because he likes violent video games?
Being masculine or feminine has nothing to do with being a homosexual or heterosexual
Also liking women or men have nothing to do with being trans… you don’t have to like a certain gender to be transgender
@@Gayboy21 You're correct that sexual preference has nothing to do with being transgender. I agree with that completely. What I said about the violent video games was meant to reflect my thoughts about her feeling like a woman. There were no outward signs that she was a women (biological man), at all. I was associating the video games with masculine behavior, not sexual preference. I appreciate the conversation. I'm accepting her. Although in my heart it feels like there is other stuff going on inside of her, like many people of her generation, such as wanting to fit in, adjustment issues, shame for being gay or an undiscovered diagnosis. I understand that some rare people may be transgender, but I think most people of this young generation have other stuff going on internally.
@@markcollins1012my son is 15 also saying that he is trans I have an appointment with therapist about it but very scary for me as parent really don’t know how to react what to do .does too much computer games really effect teens?Ii am praying to God for good results
While not as bad in the 80s we teen girls were put on birth control in huge amounts. My mother was told that was what was best for me. It wasn't. I had a hard time getting pregnant. And those doctors that said it was best then fussed at me about being on it for 10 years when I finally wanted to get pregnant. But I did what I was told was good for me! I couldn't get pregnant until I was 29. And lost one at 32. I only ended up with 2 children. I should have had more! I should have had better care from doctors. I should have been given the truth. Who knows why I couldn't get pregnant or stay pregnant, but the doctors sure thought that was the reason. Now imagine when kids are giving the wrong hormones or blocks to hormones? I was only given too much of what I already produced. And it caused damage. How much more with the wrong ones or blocked completely! And my mother trusted they knew what they were talking about. "Teens have sex anyway. It will help her periods be less severe" Ugh....there are others ways for those things too. Like self-control and other medications that doesn't change hormone levels in teens!!!
Mines going into Christian school next year she’s being influenced by her friends and social media
Your kid dislikes you Im sure.
I hope your kid fully embraces whoever they are, and I hope you learn not to be so hateful
When my daughter was 4, she said she was a cat....so for an afternoon, I scratched her head and tossed toys around the room. Then, when it was dinner time, I told her that it was time to be a girl again and that she would sit at the table to eat, not eat kibble from a bowl on the floor (although maybe one bite would have convinced her.). Now kids are being allowed to pretend they are various animals in public schools and teachers are being required to go along with it.
I think it depends a lot on age. First, ask WHY the child wants to be the opposite sex. For young kids, you may find out that they like sparkly shoes or want to play with trucks. That doesn't make them "trans" although our world today might try to say otherwise. Beyond that, and completely thru the teen years, I would say that if you want to dress in "other" clothes and choose a new name, that's fine. But no drugs or surgery until you are an adult. And thoroughly check out any "counselor" or "therapist" first. THe job of that person should be to explore the "why," evaluate any other mental health situations such as depression or autism, and be supportive without "affirming" falsehoods. Being confused, hating the changes of puberty, or having a same sex crush does not make a kid trans, no matter what the internet says. THere are at least 2 studies that show that if a teen is loved and allowed to cross dress without any drugs or surgery, that 90% will claim to be heterosexual in their genetic sex by age 18 and most of the other 10% will identify as homosexual. Bottom line...for me, I will give them time to grow up without doing anything potentially harmful.
I would say to my 17 year old are you ready to marry someone no, why, as you don't know yourself, as yet. But you want to take chemicals that will permanently damage your body, as well as mentally. Wait till your 21 and over, when you have seen allittle of life. Then you can make a more informed decision about such s huge operations etc.
I only have your best interests at heart, I know you more than any doctor or psychologist. I love you .
If you dad dress up like a female short skirt mom Aleppo heels 👠 and take them to school. Look a mess lol
Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shrier.
Irreversible
The puberty blockers they give boys are the same they use to castrate sex offenders.
Irreversible. And the psychological damage done by the child abuse of parents that support and promote this should and hopefully will be criminal soon.
You don't have any idea who you are until you are until youre 23-25.
Full stop.