I don't know what's more impressive, you uploading 3 videos in the span of 8 hours or the fact that I discovered your music because of SpongeBob Piraka Rap and learned you you have few hundred thousand followers on spotify or the fact you rucking rick rolled me with a Wikipedia link
I own a kanoka disk launcher for home defense, since that's what the Great Beings intended. Four Dark Hunters break into my house. "What in Karzahni?" As I grab my powerless kanohi and Ta-Metru disc launcher. Blow an akilini disk sized hole through the first hunter, his spirit's off to the Red Star on the spot. Draw my black-market zamor launcher on the second hunter, miss him entirely because it's a Skakdi knock-off and nails the neighbor's energy hound. I have to resort to the Cordak cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with mini-rockets, "The Great Spirit wills it" the mini-rockets vaporize the two hunters in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off transport alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified piraka. His heartlight flickers out waiting on the vahki to arrive since protosteel wounds are impossible to repair. Just as the Great Beings intended.
It'd work. It'd definitely work. Especially since it's all "When you see my face, I hope it gives you hell" and these guys *look* like they just crawled out of the deepest, nastiest pit of Hell
@@capootiscrepitoos Personally, I'd say pre-Mangaia Vezok, or maybe Reidak when he's not pretending to be an idiot. Video feels just a little too self-aware to be Hakann.
And the wave after was the Barraki who are all murderous maniacs who haven't killed eachother yet SOLELY because they've not managed to overpower eachother. Even in that trailer they're all at eachother's throats. Like they were the resounding "yes" to "can you have any less chill than a Piraka"?
A part of their species’ lore is literally this. They hate each other and are very anti social, but the powers they were given work best when they cooperate
I was wondering when we were gonna get some more Bionicle shitposts, felt like it had been a while. Then, boom, three in one day. Remind me to never doubt Essenger again lmao
@@essengerbionicle I will say, some of them did seem a little rushed in places? Not that it matters much, as long as you had fun making them! I’m glad to see you back regardless!
Honestly thats my favorite form of villain Someone whose just an asshole and likes Being an ass, and everyone is just perplexed about the lack of actual motivation behind the dickery
@@blackheartzerotheundergrou3225 Funnily enough it was the Shadowed One, their former employer who called them that once and they were like "yes that matoran slur describes us perfectly"
The literal perversion if what makes those commercials iconic is so very creative! Good job! I really love you previous work, but this idea just tops it!
I picked up 4/6 of these guys at a thrift store the other day, still got 3-eyes somewhere in pieces from back in the day. As a kid I didn't really appreciate the concept of the Piraka, but I have fallen quite in love with these ASSHOLE VILLAINS now. Just the concept of villains who are utter shitstains for no reason other than that they fucking feel like it, absolutely amazing! This trailer is pure genius and makes me love these ugly dinglefucks even more!
I can’t believe I’m only now discovering this. I happened to be at work watching this and had such a difficult time stifling my laughter! Thank you so much for this! 😂
I love the fact that Bionicle villains can range from Lovcraftian evils to a savage spider hive mind led by a dominatrix... to a bunch of thugs that kidnapped an emo band and God's defibrillator.
Klaus : You may look like an a-hole. You may feel like an a-hole. You may be one Piraka, you may be a whole Gosh forsaking gang of them. Spectra : You may thrive on violence, chaos, and outright treachery. You may have a cavernous trucking mouth full of bio-luminescent teeth, razor sharp serrated spines, and horrific biological doomsday weapons capable of torturing and brainwashing an entire island of innocent villagers. You may activate your questionably, overpowered, reality defying vision powers. Chan : But it's not what you've got. It's the mind boggling, astronomically, vile, pants-poopingly, cataclysmic scale of psychical, and psychological trucking carnage you can unleash, purely for the sake of savoring a fleeting microsecond of sadistic euphoria, that makes you... Klaus, Spectra, and Chan : An a-hole. New Piraka A-holes. Each set sold separately.
See this is what was missing from the original Piraka Commercial; the distinct lack of Tony made for a _very distinct_ lack of Bionicle in the eyes of many. Most of us were worried that Bionicle was canned and replaced by these... _things._ Imagine how mind-boggling it was when we found out that, No...these bozos _are a part of the story._
The fact that these were the sets that kicked off the 2006 storyline and it took months before the Toa Inika came out really set the tone for that year
All that and these guys still somehow managed to end a faction war simply by sabotaging the crap out of one side for the lulz Legacy of Evil miiiiight be my favorite Bionicle book
There’s so much to take in. I’m trying to listen to the hilarious voice over but I’m hit with so many memories of AAR and listening to Move Along. God, I love that band.
I dont know how the planets aligned such that i discover one of my fav synth artists ive been listening to for years makes hyper specific Bionicle shitposts that i understand....God exists
This is my favorite one of this trend, i dont know if is the way it tells what the piraka act like from the get go, or how it shows all you need to know to understand why you should hate them
@@owennagler1598the code names could be replaced with the insults people had for the organic masks back in the day like: cow face, mustache girl, creature from the green lagoon, soccer furry, punk rocker and pizza face.
I don't know what's more impressive, you uploading 3 videos in the span of 8 hours or the fact that I discovered your music because of SpongeBob Piraka Rap and learned you you have few hundred thousand followers on spotify or the fact you rucking rick rolled me with a Wikipedia link
what an absolute trainwreck of a mouthful lmao
@@essengerbioniclemy man’s got quite the portfolio 😂😂
@@essengerbionicleyeah I was even reading it in Tony Wedgwood's voice
He did what to you with the Wikipedia link? 😂
@@coconuthead98rucking rick rolled, raggy
The commercials: the gang is on the loose
The books: each Matoran tortured seperately
Voya Nui Online Game: *_*Muffled sounds of gorilla violence*_*
Bionicle Heroes:goofy af villains
I think I’ve lived long enough to become a piraka at this point
Same
You either die a Toa or live long enough to become a Piraka.
Same
Same.
Dude that is &)@;/ up
I own a kanoka disk launcher for home defense, since that's what the Great Beings intended. Four Dark Hunters break into my house. "What in Karzahni?" As I grab my powerless kanohi and Ta-Metru disc launcher. Blow an akilini disk sized hole through the first hunter, his spirit's off to the Red Star on the spot. Draw my black-market zamor launcher on the second hunter, miss him entirely because it's a Skakdi knock-off and nails the neighbor's energy hound. I have to resort to the Cordak cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with mini-rockets, "The Great Spirit wills it" the mini-rockets vaporize the two hunters in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off transport alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified piraka. His heartlight flickers out waiting on the vahki to arrive since protosteel wounds are impossible to repair. Just as the Great Beings intended.
average day in the hood
based
Practicing your second virtue right 🫡
This is beyond amazing and I love it so much! Truly as the great beings intended!
Ugh... Someone needs to get this voiced and animated.
i find it genuinely impressive how vividly and eloquently you were able to describe the piraka's foulness, it's weirdly poetic in a way 🤔
the most accurate matoran->english translation of the word "Piraka" yet
If this was truly a Piraka commercial, then it should be "each set stolen separately."
Piraka in Bionicle heroes and commercials:hahaha funny gangster baddies
Piraka in the Bionicle lore:
If they were to use an AAR song for Piraka, I'd imagine it to be "Gives you hell"
It'd work. It'd definitely work. Especially since it's all "When you see my face, I hope it gives you hell" and these guys *look* like they just crawled out of the deepest, nastiest pit of Hell
The chorus would’ve been perfect.
It’s a breakup song though so Idunno. Maybe with the Piraka rap’s vocals dubbed over the instrumental or something
@@N8-PT Yo yo Piraka!
She broke my heart
Yo yo Piraka!
You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a Piraka
You either die a Piraka or live long enough to see yourself and your crew turned into snakes and then fused into the golden skinned being.
the wildest part is that none of this even feels like an exaggeration, the piraka are just naturally so over the top evil
I bet out of all of the Piraka, either Hakkan or Zaktan would have directed this beautiful masterpiece of a commercial
Definitely sounds like a Zaktan monologue
@arvidbergman Zaktan has more of a mysterious loner vibe, Hakann is much more likely to reach a level of self agrandizing akin to this ad
@@capootiscrepitoos Personally, I'd say pre-Mangaia Vezok, or maybe Reidak when he's not pretending to be an idiot. Video feels just a little too self-aware to be Hakann.
@@LieutenantAlaki Maybe, or maybe it was a team effort, all of them arguing over which line to add into the ad
this seems more like the type of shit hakkan and thok would do while they were rampaging across the island after stealing brutaka's powers
This is why the piraka kidnapped the all American rejects
To play for there commercial
"New Piraka assholes..." as the bois run towards the light. This truly is a masterpiece.
I adore when the writing goes way over and beyond like this 😂
Man I don’t even think the Piraka like each other. I think they only keep each other around just because they’re all on the same asshole wavelength.
they hate each other and thats why theyre my favorite villains
@@essengerbionicle there was a theory that if the other 5 Piraka just ditched Hakann, they could've actually succeeded with their plans.
And the wave after was the Barraki who are all murderous maniacs who haven't killed eachother yet SOLELY because they've not managed to overpower eachother. Even in that trailer they're all at eachother's throats. Like they were the resounding "yes" to "can you have any less chill than a Piraka"?
I'm pretty sure that's canon. Like I remember some of them are cool with each other but as a whole they just hate each others guts with a passion
A part of their species’ lore is literally this. They hate each other and are very anti social, but the powers they were given work best when they cooperate
I was wondering when we were gonna get some more Bionicle shitposts, felt like it had been a while. Then, boom, three in one day. Remind me to never doubt Essenger again lmao
it actually was something of a break tho bc I made all three of them this morning LMAO
@@essengerbionicle I will say, some of them did seem a little rushed in places? Not that it matters much, as long as you had fun making them! I’m glad to see you back regardless!
@@thatkidwiththehoodie some are def higher effort but when i get an idea i just make it immediately so it's however fast i can keep up lmao
@@essengerbionicle I can’t argue with that, my creative process is the exact same lmaooo
@@essengerbionicle actually, okay, be real with me. Heart to heart, artist to artist. How oversized is your WIP folder? I promise I won’t judge xD
Piraka's directioral abilities are really good.
I love piraka so much. They are not a world ending evil, they are just thuggish assholes
Honestly thats my favorite form of villain
Someone whose just an asshole and likes Being an ass, and everyone is just perplexed about the lack of actual motivation behind the dickery
Of all these "genre" of channel, this is the funniest and most subtle one
The Piraka have no right to be both as Edgelord and as Insanely Fucking Cool as they are
You may be edgy, but you're not _"name your crew after an actual in-universe slur word"_ edgy!
@@blackheartzerotheundergrou3225 Funnily enough it was the Shadowed One, their former employer who called them that once and they were like "yes that matoran slur describes us perfectly"
The 2000’s were something else
These 48 seconds prove why the piraka are without question the best anti-toa team.
this sounds like a recruit-video for a new Piraka Team.
it even sounds like, they would also take non-Skakdi, now.
I've never felt so touched in my entire life...
It's... It's beautiful.
This is Art.
Goddammit stop reminding me how awesome mid 2000s were.
Now I wanna see the Piraka commercial if Vezon directed it.
Petition for essenger to change their name to just Bionicle so someone thinks these are real until they go off the rails 💀
Bionicle will have to come back in order to overpower me
“You may have a cavernous fucking mouth full of bioluminescent teeth” fucking sent me 😂😭
I'm a piraka, and this is deep
The funniest thing is that this is completely lore accurate
I like how each generation has a deep lore, connected with the whole world of Bionicle, while Piraka are just homies on da hood
This is an instant classic.
This is a several hours later classic.
This is a day after classic
damn is it still a classic?
@@joonhojams4841 Yes, this is a one week later classic.
🔥🔥🔥
Why does this genuinely make mindless evil and carnage have some appeal to it
God, this made me busy out laughing. Especially having read the stories. I know this is quite accurate to how the piraka actually act.
This is by all means what being an A-hole in Bionicle is like… and it makes perfect sense. This is pure gold and needs to be viewed by all.
The literal perversion if what makes those commercials iconic is so very creative! Good job! I really love you previous work, but this idea just tops it!
small correction: the villagers are not all innocent. velika lives there
This is pure gold! You never fail to make me laugh Essenger😭
I can't believe it took this video for me to realize the shot at 0:08 is the same as the Inika one
I picked up 4/6 of these guys at a thrift store the other day, still got 3-eyes somewhere in pieces from back in the day. As a kid I didn't really appreciate the concept of the Piraka, but I have fallen quite in love with these ASSHOLE VILLAINS now.
Just the concept of villains who are utter shitstains for no reason other than that they fucking feel like it, absolutely amazing! This trailer is pure genius and makes me love these ugly dinglefucks even more!
Which ones do you have?
"Ugly Dinglefucks" LMAOOOOO
"You may be a whole godforsaken gang of them."
That sentence is what does it for me, it just works so well.
'New Piraka assholes' will now live in my head rent free. Thank you.
the Music was done by famous band The Partly Russian Accepts
Bro you DO NOT MISS! You got me about to cry laughing 🤣🤣
This AI voice thing has gotten really sophisticated. It definitely sounds like him.
I can’t believe I’m only now discovering this. I happened to be at work watching this and had such a difficult time stifling my laughter! Thank you so much for this! 😂
And with all that being said, they are STILL hands down the coolest set Bionicle has EVER released.
This is now my favorite video on this platform, hands down
YT recommends actually doing their job and giving me gold for once.
I love the fact that Bionicle villains can range from Lovcraftian evils to a savage spider hive mind led by a dominatrix... to a bunch of thugs that kidnapped an emo band and God's defibrillator.
That is unironically the funniest and accurate description i I have ever heard
I need you to know that this video is the first thing that comes up when you search Piraka on UA-cam.
these guys looks like the perfect mix of goofy and yet intimidating at the same time.
and according to the narrator the comments, _very violent-_
You either die an Inika, or live long enough to see yourself become a Piraka
Klaus : You may look like an a-hole. You may feel like an a-hole. You may be one Piraka, you may be a whole Gosh forsaking gang of them.
Spectra : You may thrive on violence, chaos, and outright treachery. You may have a cavernous trucking mouth full of bio-luminescent teeth, razor sharp serrated spines, and horrific biological doomsday weapons capable of torturing and brainwashing an entire island of innocent villagers. You may activate your questionably, overpowered, reality defying vision powers.
Chan : But it's not what you've got. It's the mind boggling, astronomically, vile, pants-poopingly, cataclysmic scale of psychical, and psychological trucking carnage you can unleash, purely for the sake of savoring a fleeting microsecond of sadistic euphoria, that makes you...
Klaus, Spectra, and Chan : An a-hole.
New Piraka A-holes.
Each set sold separately.
Each set stolen separately.
Okay but those teeth pieces were SICK to use as plain skulls.
See this is what was missing from the original Piraka Commercial; the distinct lack of Tony made for a _very distinct_ lack of Bionicle in the eyes of many.
Most of us were worried that Bionicle was canned and replaced by these... _things._ Imagine how mind-boggling it was when we found out that, No...these bozos _are a part of the story._
The fact that these were the sets that kicked off the 2006 storyline and it took months before the Toa Inika came out really set the tone for that year
All that and these guys still somehow managed to end a faction war simply by sabotaging the crap out of one side for the lulz
Legacy of Evil miiiiight be my favorite Bionicle book
This has got to be one of the best ways to market a toy line I've ever seen!
I found a gem today and it's this channel. Delivery of lines is just *chef's kiss* , 10/10, subbed and will become Piraka today
The piraka were the best models in my opinion.
Amazing, this commercial made this 25 year old want to re buy all the 2006 sets at an unreasonable price
How do I stop rewatching this masterpiece of a UA-cam video
same
You don’t
Do the "i live in a low income housing environment" copypasta but with the piraka. thatd be funny.
Even when your hope is gone, mow the lawn, mow the lawn, just to make it through~~
This is why the Piraka are my favorite.
this is so unbelievably brilliant. thank you
I get the feeling this an accurate description of them
God I loved that gang of overpowered assholes, second best villain generation imo
Possibly my favourite youtube channel at this point
I like how he says asshole at the end like he’s completely dropping the accent for a split second
I trained this model on his narration in the Inika commercial and he barely shows the British accent for some of those lol
Now this is a hell yeah moment
There’s so much to take in. I’m trying to listen to the hilarious voice over but I’m hit with so many memories of AAR and listening to Move Along. God, I love that band.
“Bioluminescent teeth”
Something tells me they haven’t brushed them since the Great Cataclysm
The Piraka are genuinely broken as shit and I'm astonished the Toa Inika beat them as hard as they did.
If Tex from BPL did voice acting for commercials
This is the first time I ever heard of Impact Vision. Neat.
I dont know how the planets aligned such that i discover one of my fav synth artists ive been listening to for years makes hyper specific Bionicle shitposts that i understand....God exists
This brilliantly designed. I love this so much. Comedic timing at it's best 🎭.
damn they really kidnapped all-american rejects
This is my favorite one of this trend, i dont know if is the way it tells what the piraka act like from the get go, or how it shows all you need to know to understand why you should hate them
i just found your stuff and it is beyond amazing
You either die a Toa or live long enough to become a Piraka
Dude I can't 😂
Feels pretty canon.
Now do the toa inika with the piraka song
yo yo inika
It's BEAUTIFUL...
Has to be the best one so far imo
If this had been the commercial i would have bought every single one.
The gang is on the loose.
I aint laughed this good in a while 😂😂😂 I clicked the like button before even getting halfway through
Please tell me there's an Inika version of this coming next
this is a parody of the inika commercial tho haha
@@essengerbionicle but consider: Yo yo, Inika
@@owennagler1598the code names could be replaced with the insults people had for the organic masks back in the day like: cow face, mustache girl, creature from the green lagoon, soccer furry, punk rocker and pizza face.
@@owennagler1598 this is what I meant 🙏
@@diegodankquixote-wry3242 Do you know that they had their own nicknames like those of the Piraka? I'm serious
This advertisement is the greatest thing I have ever seen
If you slow it down it gets better 😂
I want an Monika as but the Toa Monika directed it
I love the Piraka so much lol
You either die an hero (Inika), or live long enough to see yourself become an asshole (Piraka).
I like that they still decided to use the same background music as the original
The music goes so hard.
that was the best life lesson for me , thanks essenger
PIRAKA! GO GO GO PIRAKA!