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"This is the reality of your relationship.." - Matthew Hussey

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  • Опубліковано 8 січ 2023
  • "This is the reality of your relationship.." - Matthew Hussey #shorts
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,7 тис.

  • @ThinkItThroughOfficial
    @ThinkItThroughOfficial  11 місяців тому +2

    Achieve Financial Freedom: bit.ly/45Ovrmm

  • @mariaantwan7479
    @mariaantwan7479 Рік тому +2236

    This goes for all relationships, not just romantic

    • @mariapap8962
      @mariapap8962 Рік тому +19

      He didn't limit it to romantic relationships

    • @haddytaal1293
      @haddytaal1293 Рік тому +13

      Very true 👍 ! A good relationship whether be I Romantic or otherwise
      It should be mutual and not a one way street 😤 It should be reciprocate
      If not the likelihood of it working is very slim. Value you.

    • @Sahraouia-dd6vl
      @Sahraouia-dd6vl Рік тому +3

      Exactly

    • @emmarose9466
      @emmarose9466 Рік тому +2

      AMEN

    • @LibraLife47
      @LibraLife47 Рік тому +5

      I was just sitting here thinking that very thing💜

  • @tharalakshmi1764
    @tharalakshmi1764 Рік тому +709

    Never heard someone describe this more clearly..

  • @thealchemist0000
    @thealchemist0000 Рік тому +112

    Never put anyone on a pedestal.

  • @blueb4829
    @blueb4829 Рік тому +101

    Very true. We sometimes fall for people for the wrong reasons - for what they own, how smart they are, their looks - and not for how they make us feel.

    • @MihiDana-z2x
      @MihiDana-z2x 5 днів тому

      How? All truths based both. Then its love, marrg, frndship, family or nothinh. But i noticed here in home ppl they lie hide make shits not all truths then b into love,marrg n then blaming game, thuu..it was nver love fr them..some fallen fr look whtevr they know, some fr status also, some fr othrr benefits. Yak. No love these were. No marrg, as wth lies no marrg can happen

  • @bonnieoles4212
    @bonnieoles4212 Рік тому +1589

    This is so true. I married someone who was fun around people, intelligent, had musical talent, etc. etc. & I thought he’d be a great dad & husband, but my experience with him was the opposite. He made me feel that I was invisible. He never saw me, never wanted to talk to me, said rude & hurtful things to me. I married him too fast. He never chased me or seemed to think about me. What Matt is saying is so true! A guy has to prove to you that he really values you, that he wants to share his life with you. Don’t settle. Stay single til you find someone who will invest in you his time, his money, his heart.

    • @petra8888
      @petra8888 Рік тому +7

      💚

    • @Mim-df1nr
      @Mim-df1nr Рік тому +10

      ❤️

    • @elsereno4
      @elsereno4 Рік тому +11

      Lmao

    • @dailyambientandsoothingmus687
      @dailyambientandsoothingmus687 Рік тому +31

      That’s only! He did all that to me plus cheated to add more trauma

    • @karthidhasa8923
      @karthidhasa8923 Рік тому +28

      My situation also is exactly same. He is perfect son. Son in law . Brother. Cousin . Brother in law . But didn't bother being a gud husband understand my feelings or pain of loosing someone whom to love in front of ur eyes seems lime whatever happens at the time of love looks totally fake. I think it's totally my mistake

  • @dwlsn93
    @dwlsn93 Рік тому +23

    My boyfriend was intelligent, wise & adorable - but I left because of how some of the things he said made me feel. If someone isn’t sure about how they feel about you - give them the gift - of your absence 🎁💝💐

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

    • @JohnKelvin-gv7zr
      @JohnKelvin-gv7zr 8 місяців тому

      That's true... please can we write to know more about each other.? greetings 👋👋👋👋👋

    • @ScottJohnson-dc7lm
      @ScottJohnson-dc7lm 8 місяців тому

      Hey

  • @mooniesings
    @mooniesings Рік тому +39

    I had to learn this with my face on the floor and heart completely shattered recently, at 30. After going through a series of heartbreaks with people I thought I loved but made me feel like thrash, no more. For the first time in my life I feel like I’ve reclaimed back my power. I’ll only allow people who makes me feel good into my life from now onwards ❤

  • @cielostack2698
    @cielostack2698 Рік тому +16

    The man I’m seeing now makes me feel cared for, protected and valued. In turn, I do my best to make sure he feels the same way.😊

  • @petergriffiinbirdistheword
    @petergriffiinbirdistheword Рік тому +517

    Powerful. No matter how much you love or care for someone, if they make you feel sad and worthless all the time then it's not worth it. UPDATE: Finally got a protective order and walked away for good. 😊

    • @lisacranmer8005
      @lisacranmer8005 Рік тому +7

      exactly..like not having a option to leave...never was valued...by any of them..

    • @user-no9hw5eb2y
      @user-no9hw5eb2y Рік тому

      💯

    • @liezelcheng5643
      @liezelcheng5643 Рік тому

      Exactly

    • @angelap364
      @angelap364 11 місяців тому

      ​@Miasmomma that's a good one. Can be applied to any addictive habit.

    • @angelap364
      @angelap364 11 місяців тому

      Congratulations for leaving! Take care and be good to yourself.

  • @animusrye2342
    @animusrye2342 Рік тому +233

    But remember this! If they make you feel like you’re nothing it’s only a reflection of how they truly feel about themselves

    • @amzlee998
      @amzlee998 Рік тому +10

      yeah not in a narcissist relation, abusive demeaning etc... emotionally, mentally etc..dont get fooled by that card my dear or at least dont tell it to no one that you know...theyll use it against you...

    • @amzlee998
      @amzlee998 Рік тому +1

      @@user-bv1qt6cd4g wow plz tell me that you will leave if he touches you bc that will happen

    • @missminti
      @missminti Рік тому +16

      So true! This is how you know their outward “shine” is covering up who they really are inside. Authentic people will come across flawed and still warm, inviting and caring.

    • @judithadhiambo4351
      @judithadhiambo4351 Рік тому +6

      ​@@user-bv1qt6cd4g thats the reason you should keep somethings to to your self because the moment you spit it out, they will use it against you

    • @clarissacantu8518
      @clarissacantu8518 Рік тому +1

      Never thought about it that way. He was rude , inconsiderate, selfish, etc...

  • @sherryradcliff1871
    @sherryradcliff1871 11 місяців тому +23

    I can’t tell you how deeply this hit me!

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому +1

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

    • @DRDavidSamadi-tf1iw
      @DRDavidSamadi-tf1iw 8 місяців тому +1

      my name is David and i'm a surgery doctor you really looking good and amazing absolutely your pic on your profile is very cute with a great smile on your face, can we be friends..?

    • @GuerreroStephen-dl9hq
      @GuerreroStephen-dl9hq 8 місяців тому +1

      Hello

    • @ScottJohnson-dc7lm
      @ScottJohnson-dc7lm 8 місяців тому +1

      Hi

  • @evelyntirado5223
    @evelyntirado5223 Рік тому +14

    Exactly, that’s what I have experienced just what you said. I am made to feel insignificant, sad, anxiety, stress, ugly. I have such a happy spirit, a loving heart such joy and excitement about living my best life. In these few years my light has been distinguished. I’m sad. What I do have is to remind what I feel and how bad and evil that is. Love and thank you for sharing I don’t feel it’s only me now.

    • @MissCryptoNL
      @MissCryptoNL 11 місяців тому +1

      I can resonate with you. I'm now in a relationship that I have to end. Just because of this. He's an awesome guy and a good catch but I vanished from a happy bubly person and happy spirit to something I don't recognize anymore, just to make him happy.

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

    • @DRDavidSamadi-tf1iw
      @DRDavidSamadi-tf1iw 8 місяців тому

      my name is David and i'm a surgery doctor you really looking good and amazing absolutely your pic on your profile is very cute with a great smile on your face, can we be friends..?

    • @ScottJohnson-dc7lm
      @ScottJohnson-dc7lm 8 місяців тому

      How are you doing

  • @peacetwinkiesandlove
    @peacetwinkiesandlove Рік тому +145

    Exactly! It reminds me of this quote, you may forget what someone said to you, but you never forget how they made you feel

    • @sheibrahim3259
      @sheibrahim3259 Рік тому +5

      Definitely,:(

    • @terrylasin3709
      @terrylasin3709 Рік тому +5

      That's called real pains. I find it difficult to forget because i trust alot.

    • @margaritakleinman5701
      @margaritakleinman5701 Рік тому +2

      I love that quote, it's from the author Maya Angelou. It goes something like this: You may forget what people said, and you may forget what they did, but you'll never forget the way they made you feel. It is so true!

    • @shiamaxwell3482
      @shiamaxwell3482 Рік тому +1

      By Maya Angelou

  • @louise947
    @louise947 Рік тому +544

    This is the best relationship advice I've ever heard. Thank you Mathew 👌👍🙏🏼

    • @tammycain8421
      @tammycain8421 Рік тому +8

      Louise you might possibly be one hundred percent right. And this advice just may be changing my life

    • @franm.8343
      @franm.8343 Рік тому +4

      I totally agree and wish I had been shown this clip at the age of sixteen.

    • @juliusen7336
      @juliusen7336 Рік тому

      do you know from which interview or podcast this is from?

  • @sunitadsouza7135
    @sunitadsouza7135 Рік тому +26

    Great perspective....I truly believe, Happiness cones from within, never from another person, never seek it from outside yourself.

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

    • @DRDavidSamadi-tf1iw
      @DRDavidSamadi-tf1iw 8 місяців тому

      my name is David and i'm a surgery doctor you really looking good and amazing absolutely your pic on your profile is very cute with a great smile on your face, can we be friends..?

    • @ScottJohnson-dc7lm
      @ScottJohnson-dc7lm 8 місяців тому

      Hello beautiful

  • @My-fm8mt
    @My-fm8mt Рік тому +10

    Like grandma said , if his an adrenaline rush, it’s wrong even though it’s always exciting …BUT if he make u feel and u feel unconditionally warm an safe and at home and secure and courageous ….if u feel that than his
    The one …..

  • @inesantunes9594
    @inesantunes9594 Рік тому +184

    never bet that your happiness will depend on someone else.

    • @blancarugerio39
      @blancarugerio39 Рік тому +1

      👍 Wise ❤

    • @dogstick12
      @dogstick12 Рік тому +4

      Create your own happiness

    • @karenlane5436
      @karenlane5436 Рік тому

      NEVER!!!

    • @Nobody-vr8ri
      @Nobody-vr8ri Рік тому

      What if they are part of your life ??? What if they are your spouse??? Then what a person supposed to do?

    • @dogstick12
      @dogstick12 Рік тому

      @@Nobody-vr8ri serve them, be charitable towards them, build your interests in other areas

  • @diannerussell9653
    @diannerussell9653 Рік тому +85

    Yes, you have to take notice of how they make you feel. Distance yourself from any form of disrespect.

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

    • @JohnKelvin-gv7zr
      @JohnKelvin-gv7zr 8 місяців тому

      That's true.. please can we write to know more about each other? Greetings 👋👋👋

    • @DRDavidSamadi-tf1iw
      @DRDavidSamadi-tf1iw 8 місяців тому

      my name is David and i'm a surgery doctor you really looking good and amazing absolutely your pic on your profile is very cute with a great smile on your face, can we be friends..?

    • @ScottJohnson-dc7lm
      @ScottJohnson-dc7lm 8 місяців тому

      Hello beautiful

  • @edgreen8140
    @edgreen8140 Рік тому +3

    See below this is so important. If they make you feel bad they are no good. If they charm the socks off you look out the shoe will drop after a period of time and you will feel all the things he said and it hurts like hell. I married a f60.81 narcissist in the 80s because we didn't know about these fun charming people back then. Protect yourself. You're worth it.

  • @JessiCa-yt5lw
    @JessiCa-yt5lw Рік тому +9

    Yes!! Took me awhile to realize this, I couldn't go out with my family nor friends without my ex stressing me out and making me feel guilty or having to deal with him giving me attitude. I was emotionally getting torn apart ... I hope God gives me the strength to lift myself up again.

  • @jazzyj792
    @jazzyj792 Рік тому +78

    He literally just described my whole relationship 😢

    • @maudavercher6418
      @maudavercher6418 Рік тому +5

      MINE, too boo that’s absolutely why I GOT OUT!! It’s emotional abuse at its finest!!

    • @xxcharmed1xx
      @xxcharmed1xx Рік тому +4

      Mine too 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

    • @marykissel9273
      @marykissel9273 11 місяців тому +1

      Time to move on

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      @@xxcharmed1xx Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

  • @kellyduncan4720
    @kellyduncan4720 Рік тому +192

    Bingo exactly why I decided to walk away

    • @Faustinembeh_backup
      @Faustinembeh_backup Рік тому +10

      Me too 👌 i'mnot keeping someone who will make me question me in anyway shape of form lol!

    • @nina_summers
      @nina_summers Рік тому +3

      Good for us girl

    • @lorrainerae9289
      @lorrainerae9289 Рік тому +8

      I'm in the middle of a break up right now and this is exactly what I need to hear.

    • @stellawil
      @stellawil Рік тому +6

      I’m glad you chose you !!! I also walked away instead of chasing

    • @tammycain8421
      @tammycain8421 Рік тому +1

      SAME

  • @miNow5975
    @miNow5975 Рік тому +2

    Your perception of the other person is the result of “how they make you feel”

  • @chrismiller520
    @chrismiller520 Рік тому +4

    This is so true. In my youth there was no one who told me such advice :-( . No internet, no coaches, nothing. Now lonely, but wise.

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

  • @Illbedoctor
    @Illbedoctor Рік тому +47

    Perfect!!!! It’s exactly how I was feeling when I decided to move on…

  • @RevMarciaBoyerMinister
    @RevMarciaBoyerMinister Рік тому +90

    Possibly the best succint relationship advice ever.

    • @terrylasin3709
      @terrylasin3709 Рік тому

      Such a pretty lady like you can't be single at all 😔

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

    • @JohnKelvin-gv7zr
      @JohnKelvin-gv7zr 8 місяців тому

      Yes... please can we write to know more about each other.? Greetings 👋👋👋

    • @DRDavidSamadi-tf1iw
      @DRDavidSamadi-tf1iw 8 місяців тому

      my name is David and i'm a surgery doctor you really looking good and amazing absolutely your pic on your profile is very cute with a great smile on your face, can we be friends..?

  • @everydaydre1185
    @everydaydre1185 Рік тому +5

    I think it's about how they treat you. Feelings are a weird guideline. Actions and results are key.

    • @luvhadin
      @luvhadin Рік тому

      My ex was a well liked guy... that treated me like a queen... unfortunately he couldn't leave other women alone. So while everyone thought we were this awesome couple... I dealt with alot of the feelings mentioned in this post. Wish I could have differtiated. Stayed much longer than I should have.

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

  • @AnnK.Martin
    @AnnK.Martin Рік тому +7

    Always choose yourself because you are worthy of yourself.

  • @Bornie1977
    @Bornie1977 Рік тому +43

    I have watched tons of videos and advices about this particular topic, but this one is simply the best, by far.

  • @ravishingtwinkle3811
    @ravishingtwinkle3811 Рік тому +4

    A lot of emotionally unavailable or dismissive avoidant men can be charming intelligent inspiring too much goal oriented and make you want to be like them , but they will initially bombard with attention to get attention and then make one feel confused with breadcrumbs , but their entire persona will make the other feel good just to be associated due to the aura. This energy weans off when the other partner who feels lonely but still lies to herself start valuing herself , building herself , values compassion and little joys , connection over big personality . That's definitely not love , that's like being mentored by a inspiring person who doesn't have relational capacity to build in love.

    • @quincycurlz
      @quincycurlz Рік тому

      Wow me and you need to be friends. I clearly tell youre just ås intelligent az me haha

    • @quincycurlz
      @quincycurlz Рік тому

      Yes it's more like enjoying a sensational nice company, In my language theres a saying of " to sunbasque In anothers glory "

  • @SanctifiedLady
    @SanctifiedLady Рік тому +6

    This hit me so hard..as a child of a covert narc…this is how I was raised numb and sadly I have a dismissive avoidant attachment wound from it but thankfully I’m aware and trying to heal that…you do know what you don’t know…but when you do, do something about it…you can be lonely, isolated, at peace and never have a relationship and wonder why. It’s because of how you make ppl feel…as a defense mechanism to prevent or sabotage emotional connections to avoid rejection, control, disappointment, neglect, abuse… my we all heal and become whole securely attached partners ❤

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

  • @mamiluisamia
    @mamiluisamia Рік тому +2

    That's what I can miss the most, about some ppl, how they "made" me feel. Trying to feel that good again w/o those who are gone :'-)

  • @lissitoj3428
    @lissitoj3428 Рік тому +36

    Epic! When in a relationship, the feeling has to be reciprocated or else, you have chosen a person that is not for you and you need to move on. Open the door, walk out and don't look back until you heal your heart.💖

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

    • @DRDavidSamadi-tf1iw
      @DRDavidSamadi-tf1iw 8 місяців тому

      my name is David and i'm a surgery doctor you really looking good and amazing absolutely your pic on your profile is very cute with a great smile on your face, can we be friends..?

    • @ScottJohnson-dc7lm
      @ScottJohnson-dc7lm 8 місяців тому

      Hi

  • @jazmincharis6917
    @jazmincharis6917 Рік тому +11

    They make me feel so lonely and sad that's why I left. leaving was hard but it was worth it.

    • @Trisof88
      @Trisof88 Рік тому

      The world drained our cups. So much of people don't have what to give anymore

  • @user-sf6ij4my1d
    @user-sf6ij4my1d 11 місяців тому +2

    Thank you, I was so heart broken from a person I so loved.
    But after listening to you statement it all made sense. Now I feel so free of feeling heart broken to understand me and what my feelings was and to accept the past and letting it go.❤🌺

  • @inezevaro7701
    @inezevaro7701 8 місяців тому +1

    Exactly, separate your self, from those that bring you down....

  • @winteryz1222
    @winteryz1222 Рік тому +140

    👍most useful advice I’ve heard in years

  • @ceresetoile6509
    @ceresetoile6509 Рік тому +72

    Yeah say that to a narc and they will say “i can’t make you feel anything, you’re in control of your thoughts and your thoughts are what makes you feel bad.”

    • @Blubblub393
      @Blubblub393 Рік тому +10

      Well then you know that they’re a narc and you run far away from that persom

    • @Simona-ws9if
      @Simona-ws9if Рік тому +12

      The thing is, we are responsible for how we feel...
      An example is that someone may say something and you might react differently than I would, maybe I could be the one feeling disrespected and to you it's no biggy. In fact he says "makes ME feel" meaning you are the one feeling.
      What I think will help you find out if the person you're talking to is a narc or simply disinterested person is how they react to you telling them that you feel that certain way when they do/say certain things. Someone who loves you will care about your opinion and they're impact in your life and they will either want to change because they love you and don't want to hurt you, or they will choose to leave because they are who they are and still do not want to hurt you.

    • @Tupemo
      @Tupemo Рік тому +5

      That's gaslighting

    • @ceresetoile6509
      @ceresetoile6509 Рік тому

      @@Tupemo it sure is.

    • @jrs5784
      @jrs5784 Рік тому +4

      @@Simona-ws9ifIf you tell the Narc, he will get angry, Sat you’re crazy and blame you.

  • @honorsutton919
    @honorsutton919 Рік тому +6

    And with that being said, it made it so much easier for me to walk away and never to look back, knowing that it took me a while to start loving myself more. Decisions we make are never easy but recognising them are so much more rewarding. God is my healer, my comforter and my strength. What an awesome god we serve…🙏🏽

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

  • @godsecretweapon555
    @godsecretweapon555 Рік тому +2

    That's my experience💯 He makes me feel like I'm nothing

  • @anthonyszymon3032
    @anthonyszymon3032 Рік тому +4

    My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser, i wasn't going to let my marriage of 18years crash,It was a terrible time for me, i was very desperate and I needed to find happiness again.

    • @anthonyszymon3032
      @anthonyszymon3032 Рік тому +1

      @Hassana Mohammed well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer.

    • @anthonyszymon3032
      @anthonyszymon3032 Рік тому +1

      @Hassana Mohammed Her name is Isobel Bonnie Gowdie, and she is a great spiritual adviser who can bring back your ex and do much more. check the web for her.

  • @marialourdesqueeniesangabr936
    @marialourdesqueeniesangabr936 Рік тому +24

    so true, it’s an awakening, choose your partner or your path wisely

  • @santbr
    @santbr 8 місяців тому +1

    He described my last relationship. Great guy that made me feel like nothing. I cut him off and went no contact. I gave him so many chances, no more. I love myself way more, I deserve a whole lot better.

  • @djsazon2200
    @djsazon2200 Рік тому +2

    Now, even if others don't share the love. I know that I am worthy of lots of love ❤️ care, empathy ❤️ and peace ✌️. I would never allow anyone to take my spirit ✨️ and happiness. I will always strive 2 be stronger and better. And sometimes people can't stand seeing me shine ✨️ 🙃 ✨️ 🙃 🙂 Amen.

  • @jayashreeshreedharan7853
    @jayashreeshreedharan7853 Рік тому +77

    Some people think we are doormats for them walk away from that table where love is not served

  • @mynewlife1911
    @mynewlife1911 Рік тому +11

    This describes my marriage. I’m divorced now so I’ll keep this advise right upfront in my heart and mind and take my sweet time. Thank you!!

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

  • @livingfortheplot
    @livingfortheplot 11 місяців тому +3

    Matthew Hussey always dropping the wisdom

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

  • @vernasmith-ql9gd
    @vernasmith-ql9gd Рік тому +2

    You are sooooooo correct. One has to have a relationship with a narcissist to appreciate the point... It's True..

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

  • @isabelbmi8485
    @isabelbmi8485 Рік тому +44

    This is what i need to hear because I’m going through a lot with someone i just met.

    • @dawnstonerock4253
      @dawnstonerock4253 Рік тому +12

      Run. FAST!!!

    • @mariapap8962
      @mariapap8962 Рік тому +22

      If you just met someone and are ALREADY going through a lot, that's more than enough indication on what you need to do. Yesterday already!

    • @idesireit31
      @idesireit31 Рік тому +13

      I was too. I got rid of him after a few weeks. No time for it

    • @jJust_NO_
      @jJust_NO_ Рік тому +5

      the more i think about it, the more i realize that life does not need any expectation of reciprocity.
      just do the things you want to do or be done to you and forget about the exchange.
      with a reward or not shouldnt matter. just do it because you feel like doing it

    • @mell11.
      @mell11. Рік тому +5

      ​@@mariapap8962 Yeah i experienced the same in the beginning i'm sad i didn't walk away sooner.

  • @mariaolson251
    @mariaolson251 Рік тому +37

    So clearly said and felt - thank you
    Sometimes our heart confuses our mind ❤

  • @ironmanfan853
    @ironmanfan853 7 місяців тому +1

    JUST went through this in ‘23 !!
    W O W .. ty 🙏🏼

  • @kingdomwarrior1651
    @kingdomwarrior1651 Рік тому +2

    Wow. I have felt this for so long and have taken some time to heal and work on myself ( since 2017) but a few times my ex kept showing up and coming back, and being a distraction, and ur right. I felt like he was charming at times, generous at times, helpful at times, but ultimately he always judged me, I always felt stressed, sad, anxious, guarded, uneasy, manipulated and just never accomplished much when he was around. But the minute he would go ( missing in action for months at a time) I realized he is narcissist,projected his feeling, fears and failures unto me. Also ,that he was living a double life and was a liar , deceptive,hide many things and people and was just shady. So he would make me feel I was those things, gaslighting, I felt bad about me. Then ,he left for the last time and I decided to close that door ,of " friendship" and just don't want him in my life. He would push my buttons to upset me and I always wondered ,how is it that u "love" but u keep wanting to cause emotional pain, stress and be mean and nasty. Then the next minute, nice, charming and going above and beyond with gifts and giving of his time ( bare in mind the times he ghosts, for long periods) when this girl would come here from England n other times. Smh. Took me a long time to realize, he just wanted to have me as an option, so I removed that possibility. Cause I wasn't in love because I never felt at ease, so my heart just closed off. But naturally am nurturing and kind, so I still was giving him some sort of love. He would make his way back into my life by always coming around, with some sob story i.e. He was down, lost money gambling, he felt suicidal and being a nurturer by nature, I'd try my best to be positive, encourage him and would always loose myself in those times. Felt depleted. Wow. Just typing it, reminds me of how miserable I truly was. But I've cut him off, I pray for him but realize he will take dwn anyone who is close to him. He's discontented with life, bitter due to broken dreams, blames parents, old friends and everyone for all his failings, but it's never him. He hates most people childhood friends n new friends alike. None of them have a good report about him. And he blames them for them not talking . He bad talks his exes. He hates his parents for not having been able to send him to school but did his older sister. He smoked way, all day, every day, even to go to work and right after work, would drink and always be complaining. Smh literally after he would leave my presence I felt defeated, empty and emotionally exhausted, and I would have to pray, take a long shower and recuperate by not communicating with him for a while and he ghosting was the best for me. I never minded it but realized, I was being played and that was a sign. He just wanted to remain around me in anyway possible. So no other guy could come around, or I would focus on anyone else. Smh. Tank God I'm free. I pray I never give in, he is crafty and always comes with sob stories that appeal to my loving caring nature. I'm working on being more firm . Sorry for the long comment. I needed to vent that.

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

  • @marthammiller2280
    @marthammiller2280 Рік тому +13

    Exactly! And when that happens, run away! This relationship is not for you.

  • @fpitts8025
    @fpitts8025 Рік тому +4

    This is a crucial element for someone dealing with this who can't quite figure out whether they should stick it out or run for the hills! Been there...Thanks Matt💟

  • @shadysidehairstudiomessine8556

    Sometimes, it's how we feel about ourselves.

  • @caldwelltamira
    @caldwelltamira Рік тому +2

    I feel this all the time dealing with the man I was dealing with.

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

  • @dawnstonerock4253
    @dawnstonerock4253 Рік тому +5

    Been there. He ain’t wrong!!

  • @lalaxo5869
    @lalaxo5869 Рік тому +19

    You have to be able to separate how u feel about a person and how they make you feel

  • @akushika6143
    @akushika6143 Рік тому +2

    Wow , what Matt is saying is soo true , how you feel about someone doesn't validate what they make you feel . Thats they making you feel sad and anxious and insecure. It wise to end such a relationship it not worth the chase

  • @Jason-ml3vs
    @Jason-ml3vs Рік тому +1

    Breakthrough moment. He described the person exactly like I do in my head and to others and he makes me feel all the emotions he mentioned.

  • @sue6454
    @sue6454 Рік тому +6

    Yep. It really draws the line to limit contact and sever ties

  • @nick_sashy
    @nick_sashy Рік тому +266

    This is why you need a Dog in your life. Dogs only take away your negative feelings and fill you with love.

    • @JanetDragamore
      @JanetDragamore Рік тому +7

      I just got a dog 😂 so this is great to hear

    • @blancarugerio39
      @blancarugerio39 Рік тому +15

      Nah 🙂 A dog is not for everyone . But , if you like dog company , good for you .

    • @Launicanumba1
      @Launicanumba1 Рік тому +5

      @@blancarugerio39 I like people that like dogs people that don’t like dogs not so much

    • @melindawood3644
      @melindawood3644 Рік тому +12

      I like cats. My cats have always been sweet, loving, and caring. I also like dogs however I believe they require more time and care. But dogs are so sweet and loving too. Our pets give us unconditional love.

    • @KnowWhat
      @KnowWhat Рік тому +11

      Yeah! But some people want human connection. A pet can’t have a conversation with you or give you intimacy. It’s just not the same

  • @shevaray
    @shevaray Рік тому +1

    Love how he breaks this down so simply. 💞

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

  • @vahbizshroff4839
    @vahbizshroff4839 Рік тому +3

    Absolutely true & accurate!

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

    • @JohnKelvin-gv7zr
      @JohnKelvin-gv7zr 8 місяців тому

      Yes... please can we write to know more about each other? Greetings 👋👋👋

  • @hawaiigirl8089
    @hawaiigirl8089 Рік тому +74

    Matt You NAILED IT RIGHT THERE! Cuts thru 90% of relationship counseling in that short paragraph ❤ you described My marriage with my Exiting husband 23 years. & 4 plus years later….STILL in divorce court

  • @mariaguillen2499
    @mariaguillen2499 Рік тому +10

    I got it so clear now.few words and that was it.

  • @ellesantillan7687
    @ellesantillan7687 11 місяців тому +1

    This is what I felt in the workplace that made me quit my job.

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      greetings from Bassam Riyad hello👋 how are you doing

  • @firstlady2223
    @firstlady2223 Рік тому +1

    I think that this is very profound and absolutely true.

  • @ANISLERNFLOW
    @ANISLERNFLOW Рік тому +29

    Wow! So powerful. ♥️ Thank you

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      Greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

  • @tigerexo6577
    @tigerexo6577 Рік тому +10

    True. I needed this! thank you! I have been dwelling over the possibilities of getting back together with my ex. But after watching this short essence of the video, 💡 it reminds me that my ex made me feel sad, anxious, more tears, insecure, self doubt. This is what he makes me feel. I’m gonna be honest, yes, I still have feelings for him, yes I probably still love him. I feel attracted and drawn to him. But i cant ignore the fact that he made me feel negative too. This, is already a big enough reason to not going back. Until now, he still makes me feel unwanted, rejected, etc. Maybe… it’s time for me to walk away. Let him lose me forever, don’t settle as a friend in his life. I still can’t forget how he lied to me, violated our boundaries, and broke up with me. I love him, but I also have myself to love and care for. I don’t want to love someone who doesn’t love me. But, it’s easier said than done. I know I shouldn’t love him anymore, but the reality is, I still can’t do it now. I know I shouldn’t love him, but I still do. I know I shouldn’t have feelings for him but I still have. This is something I can’t control. I can do nothing about it. I don’t know if anyone feels the same but if you do, and youre reading this, I hope you have faith in the process of moving on, and really, stop contacting your ex, unfollow all social media accounts of ex. You have to move on, orelse you will allow him to hurt you more. Move on, for yourself. You deserve someone who is sure about you, who loves you like you love him. I wish you will eventually meet the right one and be the right person too. Stay strong.

    • @victoriaodili-akpom4019
      @victoriaodili-akpom4019 Рік тому

      Yes, if he makes you feel rotten? Walk away but you must work on you affection for him and emotions first.

    • @Manpreet058
      @Manpreet058 11 місяців тому

      hey, I don't know who you are and how you are dealing with this, but I read all of it, and I can sense the pain since I am going through the same, I send positive healings your way, may you find the right person who makes you feel valued and loved and appreciated. But most importantly, may you never find the need for someone's else's love, that get's your secondary ideal, the first ideal you take as yourself and may you love yourself even harder, accept yourself and build the confidence that the next person in your life knows your value and respect your aura and feelings. Love yourself and everyone around you will love you. These words were just not for you but for myself too. Take care, live a great healthy happy life❤

  • @tidycoat
    @tidycoat 10 місяців тому

    All I can say is “WOW” he’s spot on!!!

  • @AdaBrown3personalupgrade
    @AdaBrown3personalupgrade 11 місяців тому

    That's absolutely how I made my evaluation of them to truly understand the relationship and it became easier to let go of my fantasy of them. Thanks for the message.

  • @myrnasharif499
    @myrnasharif499 Рік тому +7

    the meaning is ,
    Compatibility!!

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

  • @myrahj1482
    @myrahj1482 Рік тому +5

    This is real advice 💯 Take it and pay attention folks!

  • @juliewalton2641
    @juliewalton2641 Рік тому +2

    So profound and absolutely true! Hard but necessary lesson. ❤

  • @ingrid5944
    @ingrid5944 7 місяців тому +1

    This video just made me realized that I was never truly loved by a man. Of course everyone have faults, cause we are all human, but I just noticed that I thought my ex narcissist boyfriend never loved me.. whenever he saw me doing something good, he would not cheer for me, but instead, he would be jealous of me and tried to say something negative to bring me down. I learned to accept things like that from my mom and my dad, but then I learned how to step up for myself. It's so hard to not feel really loved and appreciated even when you have so much good traits about yourself. I feel empowered but at the same time I feel lonely and unappreciated by the most important people of my life. When I started to step up from my mom and dad bad words, they started to respect me more. In the end of the day, all of their bad words to me, my mom's, my dad's, my ex boyfriend words, are all they not feeling good about themselves, so when they see someone shining and being great, they try to put you down to make themselves feel a little less like shit. I stopped accepting those words. I used to just listen the bad words and say nothing back, so all of those emotions were bottling inside of me and making me feel like trash. But when I started to reply back, I felt like I got my power back to myself and started to grow and grow and grow. That didn't stop me from geting into a relationship with a narcissist boyfriend, and this the proof of how strongly parents behaviour towards their kids follow their kids through their lives, making them enter in relationships that have the same dynamics as they learned since they were little. Anyways, I'm learning how to protect myself more, more and more, and my goal is to find true love from a man that actually feels blessed by having my by their side! I know I will find him! I'm closer than ever! I learned! Thank you God for helping me till here! I know I feel lonely and down, but you have always given me strength to get up from the ground and try one more time!!! Amen! 🙏🏻❤️

  • @monikasasulsky8971
    @monikasasulsky8971 Рік тому +18

    Totally agree ❤

  • @deborahwolff5651
    @deborahwolff5651 Рік тому +10

    I have been solo all my life and am happy that way. Relationships are just too much work and disappointments.

    • @elsereno4
      @elsereno4 Рік тому

      How are the cats?

    • @deborahwolff5651
      @deborahwolff5651 Рік тому +1

      @@elsereno4 I don't own any cats but love, love them. 💕

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

  • @juanitabetance1317
    @juanitabetance1317 Рік тому +1

    SEPARATE. IF. YOU FEEL. IT'S. BRINGING YOU DOWN.

  • @SeonaMoon-xi1tg
    @SeonaMoon-xi1tg Рік тому

    Love my comfort zone. Keeps me single and I learn to be so much more positive with myself. Don't blame myself for others behaviours. And definitely cut off rude and annoying ppl.

  • @jenjen5822
    @jenjen5822 Рік тому +3

    Friendships… I walked away from a group friends who made me feel like that… I gained experience 💖

  • @ellehough2746
    @ellehough2746 Рік тому +3

    I needed to hear this wisdom on this Valentine's Day! Thank you for the reminder to always trust my intuition!

  • @INTELLITHINK
    @INTELLITHINK Рік тому +1

    You have the most sage guests

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      greetings from Bassam Riyad hello👋 how are you doing

  • @freespiritwaywellnessandka195

    I think it speaks to how you feel about the relationship with yourself and it is not about the other person. The person reflects the qualities you love in yourself but if you do not see that, you begin to project your insecurities onto them.

  • @shelleykennedy876
    @shelleykennedy876 Рік тому +13

    That is so true. You really have to be careful who you talk to and it has taken me so long to realize that universal truth.

  • @M77-f6t
    @M77-f6t Рік тому +4

    This made me question all my relationships 😭

  • @justinnew777
    @justinnew777 Рік тому

    This is accurate for when the person is mean to you but everything for everyone else. If their greatness intimidates you but they treat you well that is a you problem.

  • @Latoree33
    @Latoree33 11 місяців тому

    I experienced this with a younger man. He was vulnerable to me. I thought the world of him. But I felt he didn't feel the same way.

  • @kevinpeasetennisprofession4905

    Wow, that’s an eye opener!

  • @kyoungbare
    @kyoungbare Рік тому +3

    OMG...How I needed to hear this today...

  • @sharppush907
    @sharppush907 9 місяців тому

    🥺This is talking to me directly, I’ve been there, that was the reality of my relationship and she ended it all on the verge of my breakthrough in life,I worshiped and adore her but she makes me feel lonely, sad, anxious and questioning my values as a man and a Muslim…
    I’m still healing but thank God I’m out of there

  • @imanielohiykem3751
    @imanielohiykem3751 10 місяців тому +1

    This is so true. Also, I learned you would want to surround yourself with people YOU love but it’s better to surround yourself with people who love you.❤❤💯

  • @aartivyas7190
    @aartivyas7190 Рік тому +3

    You just summed up my relationship Matthew.💯

  • @prayingprincess1186
    @prayingprincess1186 Рік тому +20

    Awesome teaching!!! Never except emptiness!!! 💯

  • @iCannaGro
    @iCannaGro 11 місяців тому +1

    If she makes you feel supported in what you want to do. On top of that, she backs you up and keeps your focus on your goal... that's the keeper.

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

  • @TamyaraBrown41
    @TamyaraBrown41 Рік тому +1

    This is so very true.

  • @nomhlekhumalo1517
    @nomhlekhumalo1517 Рік тому +6

    The best advise ever. Thank you👌

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing

  • @CollieNike3
    @CollieNike3 Рік тому +12

    Really important to know that sometimes people who have deep wounds or insecurities feel this way because of their own stuff around people that they otherwise think are great people. Sometimes the people with these great attributes aren't responsible for "making" them feel this way, but their own issues cause them to feel insecure and inferior in relationships. Such is the case with covert narcissists. I think it's time for me to realize that, while my husband acknowledges that I'm a great person, with great qualities that he really admires, due to his narcissistic wounds and deep insecurities, the fact that I am emotionally more healthy and balanced than he is and that I have good self-esteem makes him feel bad in our relationship. Which he then takes out on me. It's not my responsibility to have less self-esteem, or to be a less happy, well-adjusted person so that he feels less resentful in his misery.

  • @sfernandez2002
    @sfernandez2002 Рік тому +1

    This hits me hard, I was nothing to someone

    • @BassamRiyad367
      @BassamRiyad367 8 місяців тому

      greetings from Bassam Riyad hello how are you doing