I belong to the sandwich generation (supporting parents + raising my own family) and I recently realize that as children, it's not our obligation to pay back whatever our parents spent on us. As parents, it should be our responsibility to both raise a family and prepare for retirement, always both, and not treat our children as investment. As for me and my husband, we are committed to break this generational cycle and free our son of a backward "tradition". Of course, out of love and gratitude, we can always honor our parents by giving them gifts. But it should not be an enforced responsibility.
I so can relate to this even if I am single. I assumed almost all of the responsibilities of my parents in the family since the day I graduated and that day was only a month right after I was hired as an employee. Walang pahinga after magcollege kasi graduation practice palang nagapply na kami and thank God naman nahire agad. Seven years have already past and I am still supporting our expenses and my younger sister's education fees. Ramdam ko yung pagsasalita ni Rica na "ang bigat" because it is so true.. Ang hirap. Pinipilit kong wag makapanumbat or makapagsalita ng nakakasakit sa pamilya kasi ramdam ko na yung pressure pero gusto ko pa rin magpatuloy sa pagtulong as a way of honoring my parents since we are Christians and we recognize the Lord's lordship over our lives pero limited nga lang ang pera ko. Ang dami ko ng nailet go na mga bagay na gusto kong ipursue sana pero dahil hindi ko pwedeng pagsabayin yung mga gusto ko sa mga nararapat bayaran sa bahay, naffeel ko na parang need ko na maglie low sa pagiging sacrificial kaso hindi ko nga sila pwedeng pabayaan lalo na ngayong ako nalang ang may work saaming lima. I love this episode and I follow Rica sa IG. Nakakainsipire sya. Looking forward sa next ep nitong topic na to. Kudos sa breadwinners! God will never abandon us..
Naiiyak ako kasi super relate ako. i have been supporting my family not just parents but pati mga pamangkin ko since i started working. Ako nagpapaaral sa dalawa kung pamangkin sa college,. Dami kung sinacrifice for myself for them. Im not nmn super complaining pero minsan mabigat na din but i cannot tell them exactly what im feeling kasi ayoko magalit o magtampo sila sakin. Mahal na mahal ko sila.
This is a very difficult situation for many filipinos because of our culture...especially pag walamg pension or retirement plan ang parents, nagiging pasanin ng mga anak...so somehow nagiging cycle yong paghihirap ng financial situation ng family...it is hard :( ako naman im blessed na my parents are good in financial management...naturuan din ako...so we are financially independent...it is only when we eat out or mga special somethings na na i and my sister get to spend for my parents...sana naman patuloy yong blessing ng financial freedom sa family namin...kasama din talaga yong pagdasal everyday na sana the hard work that we do ay blessed ni God. :)
Father Dave Concepcion has a good answer for this. Sabi nia hanggang merong pagmamahal. Hindi ko kayang kumakain ng steak habang mga kapatid at magulang ko ulam ay bagoong.
Kung tao kang d makwenta sa tulong,hanggang kamatayan dapat ang tulong mo sa magulang lalo na kung anak lang ang inaasahan at walang conditions yon dahil magulang mo sila.
You have a point, hindi applicable sa atin yun sa iba culture. What is important is that family nembers should do work hard to support themselves. Ang hirap sa iba sumandal na for life. One time help lang & let them mag business. Yyn na yon. Wag lagi tulungan kasi nagiging tamad. Di rin ako naniniwala sa " ayaw ko ma experience ng mga anak ko ang hirap na dinanas ko" dapat nga right from start imulat sila hirap para masanay at lumakas ang loob at maging masipag mag earn.
Wala naman sigurong pakialam ang ibang tao kung hanggang kailan nya tulungan ang magulang nya kung may kakayanan namang tumulong.kung tutulong ka rin lang para balang araw may maisusumbat ka wag na lang..magkaiba ang situation ng mga tao.NASA sa u kung may pamilya ka na tutulong ka pa rin..yung kinukwenta ang tulong sa pamilya madadamot na tao yon.
I guess it depends on the situation at kung paano mo nitake ang mga bagay bagay. For us we grew up na okay lahat, everything was provided minsan sobra pa. We grew up na feeling namin lhat ganun ang life till such time mom got sick and business was down. Eventually mom died and business was sold so from up to super down tlga. Now my dad was left alone at di nakacope up sa pagkawala ng mom and we were sent to relatives para makapag aral. we been through alot makatapos lng and now we are okay me n my brother are the ones providing for our dad and sister who still studying . Thou we both married we agreed na kami mgsusupport since kaming 4 lng natira. Sino p ba tutulomg kung di kmi lng thou minsan maiisip mo life could have been diff kung di nawala ang mom namin but yet i can feel n kht andyan siya we will still do the same even they wont ask as we were brought up on that manner. Nasa taong nihelp din kung nakikita naman worth helping for why not. I think nasa relationship tlga ng parents at anak un. We always been taught that kaming mgkapatid lng ang makakampi no matter what which means kming mgkakapatid lng ang mgtutulungan pag wala n parents nmn. Im just lucky na thou mahrap kc we providing for our family and our growing family we are able to make it. Di ko nmn kaya kumain ng masarap while ung dad at sister ko ngdildil ng asin. But of course as what im telling my husband we should only not prepare our kids but also our retirement since at the end of the day it will be the 2 of us at kht ano pang sabhin we wont be here of our parents were there to mold us.
Awwwww.... touching story. for me, as the Holy Spirit leads lang talaga. Iba iba kasi kwento ng bawat family. But one thing I realized, is we reallly need to save for our future. Have emergency fund, be covered with insurance and save for retirement.
i caught my husband lying to me, not telling me the truth of the extent of how much he gives to his family. in our case, my husband supports his parents (jobless since birth) and his siblings (who are all college graduates, 20+ years old, single, sometimes jobless, sometimes not but still asks for money even if working). tapos kapag nagcomplain husband ko, nagdadrama ung nanay nya tapos binabash sya sa facebook. nagcomplain na din ako sa husband ko especially kasi ang babastos ng mga kapatid nya pati sakin wala respect (laging nagtatantrums, walkout pa more), tapos ayoko ginagawa ng nanay nya emotional torture sa kanya. after that, nahuli ko husband ko nagsisinungaling sakin. iba ung sinasabi nya sakin sa nadiscover ko sa gcash record nya sa cellphone nya. nung kinausap ko sya about it, sabi nya nahihiya na daw kasi sya sakin. di ko na tuloy alam ngayon if he's telling me the truth or lying to me about his family. for the record, my side of family doesnt have that culture, my dad has his own money (even gives me monthly support of 25k kasi nagaalala sya baka di namin kaya ng husband ko, i have young kids pa kasi and pays ammortization for my house) and all my siblings have their own jobs.
I give my mom some money every month but I only share what I can give her because I am married with children. She always mentions not to do it because I have small children but I give it to her because I want to. My husband is okay with this.
Kung tao kang d makwenta sa tulong,hanggang kamatayan dapat ang tulong mo sa magulang lalo na kung anak lang ang inaasahan at walang conditions yon dahil magulang mo sila.
I belong to the sandwich generation (supporting parents + raising my own family) and I recently realize that as children, it's not our obligation to pay back whatever our parents spent on us. As parents, it should be our responsibility to both raise a family and prepare for retirement, always both, and not treat our children as investment. As for me and my husband, we are committed to break this generational cycle and free our son of a backward "tradition".
Of course, out of love and gratitude, we can always honor our parents by giving them gifts. But it should not be an enforced responsibility.
Very well said. ❤️
I so can relate to this even if I am single. I assumed almost all of the responsibilities of my parents in the family since the day I graduated and that day was only a month right after I was hired as an employee. Walang pahinga after magcollege kasi graduation practice palang nagapply na kami and thank God naman nahire agad. Seven years have already past and I am still supporting our expenses and my younger sister's education fees. Ramdam ko yung pagsasalita ni Rica na "ang bigat" because it is so true.. Ang hirap. Pinipilit kong wag makapanumbat or makapagsalita ng nakakasakit sa pamilya kasi ramdam ko na yung pressure pero gusto ko pa rin magpatuloy sa pagtulong as a way of honoring my parents since we are Christians and we recognize the Lord's lordship over our lives pero limited nga lang ang pera ko. Ang dami ko ng nailet go na mga bagay na gusto kong ipursue sana pero dahil hindi ko pwedeng pagsabayin yung mga gusto ko sa mga nararapat bayaran sa bahay, naffeel ko na parang need ko na maglie low sa pagiging sacrificial kaso hindi ko nga sila pwedeng pabayaan lalo na ngayong ako nalang ang may work saaming lima. I love this episode and I follow Rica sa IG. Nakakainsipire sya. Looking forward sa next ep nitong topic na to. Kudos sa breadwinners! God will never abandon us..
Naiiyak ako kasi super relate ako. i have been supporting my family not just parents but pati mga pamangkin ko since i started working. Ako nagpapaaral sa dalawa kung pamangkin sa college,. Dami kung sinacrifice for myself for them. Im not nmn super complaining pero minsan mabigat na din but i cannot tell them exactly what im feeling kasi ayoko magalit o magtampo sila sakin. Mahal na mahal ko sila.
This is a very difficult situation for many filipinos because of our culture...especially pag walamg pension or retirement plan ang parents, nagiging pasanin ng mga anak...so somehow nagiging cycle yong paghihirap ng financial situation ng family...it is hard :( ako naman im blessed na my parents are good in financial management...naturuan din ako...so we are financially independent...it is only when we eat out or mga special somethings na na i and my sister get to spend for my parents...sana naman patuloy yong blessing ng financial freedom sa family namin...kasama din talaga yong pagdasal everyday na sana the hard work that we do ay blessed ni God. :)
Father Dave Concepcion has a good answer for this. Sabi nia hanggang merong pagmamahal. Hindi ko kayang kumakain ng steak habang mga kapatid at magulang ko ulam ay bagoong.
Financial literacy is a must to every Filipino family😍
Kung tao kang d makwenta sa tulong,hanggang kamatayan dapat ang tulong mo sa magulang lalo na kung anak lang ang inaasahan at walang conditions yon dahil magulang mo sila.
You have a point, hindi applicable sa atin yun sa iba culture. What is important is that family nembers should do work hard to support themselves. Ang hirap sa iba sumandal na for life. One time help lang & let them mag business. Yyn na yon. Wag lagi tulungan kasi nagiging tamad. Di rin ako naniniwala sa " ayaw ko ma experience ng mga anak ko ang hirap na dinanas ko" dapat nga right from start imulat sila hirap para masanay at lumakas ang loob at maging masipag mag earn.
I am consistently watching your vlog, very informative at balance may mga bible verses ka share.
“If you give a man a fish, he will be hungry tomorrow. If you teach a man to fish, he will be richer forever.”
Wala naman sigurong pakialam ang ibang tao kung hanggang kailan nya tulungan ang magulang nya kung may kakayanan namang tumulong.kung tutulong ka rin lang para balang araw may maisusumbat ka wag na lang..magkaiba ang situation ng mga tao.NASA sa u kung may pamilya ka na tutulong ka pa rin..yung kinukwenta ang tulong sa pamilya madadamot na tao yon.
I guess it depends on the situation at kung paano mo nitake ang mga bagay bagay. For us we grew up na okay lahat, everything was provided minsan sobra pa. We grew up na feeling namin lhat ganun ang life till such time mom got sick and business was down. Eventually mom died and business was sold so from up to super down tlga. Now my dad was left alone at di nakacope up sa pagkawala ng mom and we were sent to relatives para makapag aral. we been through alot makatapos lng and now we are okay me n my brother are the ones providing for our dad and sister who still studying . Thou we both married we agreed na kami mgsusupport since kaming 4 lng natira. Sino p ba tutulomg kung di kmi lng thou minsan maiisip mo life could have been diff kung di nawala ang mom namin but yet i can feel n kht andyan siya we will still do the same even they wont ask as we were brought up on that manner. Nasa taong nihelp din kung nakikita naman worth helping for why not. I think nasa relationship tlga ng parents at anak un. We always been taught that kaming mgkapatid lng ang makakampi no matter what which means kming mgkakapatid lng ang mgtutulungan pag wala n parents nmn. Im just lucky na thou mahrap kc we providing for our family and our growing family we are able to make it. Di ko nmn kaya kumain ng masarap while ung dad at sister ko ngdildil ng asin. But of course as what im telling my husband we should only not prepare our kids but also our retirement since at the end of the day it will be the 2 of us at kht ano pang sabhin we wont be here of our parents were there to mold us.
From the start kumikita Ang anak dapat mag set Ng boundaries agad para di ubos ubos. And let the siblings feel they need to stand up
Awwwww.... touching story. for me, as the Holy Spirit leads lang talaga. Iba iba kasi kwento ng bawat family. But one thing I realized, is we reallly need to save for our future. Have emergency fund, be covered with insurance and save for retirement.
San ang 2nd part sis
i caught my husband lying to me, not telling me the truth of the extent of how much he gives to his family. in our case, my husband supports his parents (jobless since birth) and his siblings (who are all college graduates, 20+ years old, single, sometimes jobless, sometimes not but still asks for money even if working). tapos kapag nagcomplain husband ko, nagdadrama ung nanay nya tapos binabash sya sa facebook. nagcomplain na din ako sa husband ko especially kasi ang babastos ng mga kapatid nya pati sakin wala respect (laging nagtatantrums, walkout pa more), tapos ayoko ginagawa ng nanay nya emotional torture sa kanya. after that, nahuli ko husband ko nagsisinungaling sakin. iba ung sinasabi nya sakin sa nadiscover ko sa gcash record nya sa cellphone nya. nung kinausap ko sya about it, sabi nya nahihiya na daw kasi sya sakin. di ko na tuloy alam ngayon if he's telling me the truth or lying to me about his family. for the record, my side of family doesnt have that culture, my dad has his own money (even gives me monthly support of 25k kasi nagaalala sya baka di namin kaya ng husband ko, i have young kids pa kasi and pays ammortization for my house) and all my siblings have their own jobs.
I give my mom some money every month but I only share what I can give her because I am married with children. She always mentions not to do it because I have small children but I give it to her because I want to. My husband is okay with this.
It’s not obligated that the children to help their parents but it’s your moral obligation to support them
HOY AYAW NINYO KUENTAHA OR PANGUTANA ASA KOTOB ANG PAGSUPORTA SA MGA GINIKANAN HANGGANG KAMATAYAN GETS MO?
kawawa naman ang mga anak mo kung yan ang isip mo.
Children doesn't owe anything to their parents! Sila nagbigay buhay oo pero hindi po nila hiningi iyon.
Kung tao kang d makwenta sa tulong,hanggang kamatayan dapat ang tulong mo sa magulang lalo na kung anak lang ang inaasahan at walang conditions yon dahil magulang mo sila.