16 Personalities - Most Likely to Ghost Someone?
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- Опубліковано 7 лют 2025
- #16personalities #16types #mbti
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Steps to ghosting:
1. Read message
2. Try to figure out how to reply
3. Take some time to think about how to reply
4. Forget about said message after 10 minutes
5. Remember days/weeks later
6. Decide it's much too late to reply and ignore it
- ISTP
Dang, that's me too. ENTP ❤
Dang XNFP and Same!
literally
That's my scheme!
- INFP
Damn, that's so me (intj)
I'm not an INTJ, but loved what you said at the end.
"INTJs don't ghost. They just relocate you to the dusty attic of their mind palace." 😆
The INTP didn't ghost you they just forgot they didn't send the message that they said they were going to send
Why would you call us out like this?
Thankfully, as a 5w4, I'm on the lower end of the ghosting spectrum for INTPs lol
relatable as an INFP, spend days and weeks thinking about what to say only to eventually remember and realize it's already been months
You described my husband perfectly 😊
I swear I just had a conversation like this with my INTP bestie. He described it as mentally replying. We've been laughing at this for a while because he'll leave me hanging for hours to a day and just tell me he did it again.
Ghosting people is not something that I do on purpose, but it's definitely something that I do. 👻
-INTP
We sometimes forget other people exist but they should not take it the wrong way - I forget a lot of things: sleeping, eating, taking my keys before getting out...
100%
I do recall ghosting someone by accident
Nathan's analogies got progressively better as the video went on 👏
INFJ: "more likely to be a ghost than to ghost you"
ENTP: "people considered to be land that has already been mined... an unscheduled debate recess that lasts... forever"
INTP: "fell into a deep and dark internet rabbit hole and are now idk in jail"
ESTJ: "doesn't ghost, they simply execute an early termination clause"
ISTJ: "archive you in the done section of their lives"
INTJ: "relocate you in the dusty attic of their mind palace"
INFP: "float off into the ether... forgot to send a postcard from dreamland"
ISFP: "relegated from the supporting cast to audience role of their own personal indie movie"
I will haunt Nathan's content for a long time to come
"Haunt?" Nice pun. You can haunt my content any time.
I know right. I wonder if these videos are scripted as well.
"getting ghosted by an ISFP is like watching a bird fly off: captivating, a touch of melancholy but entirely in their nature" as an ISFP that's exactly how it feels. so beautifully put
I'm an enfp and literally had to make a notion table to keep track of how long it's been since I last opened someone's texts bc I take that long 💀 but now I've not opened that table in ages :')
thank goodness for patient and understanding friends 😭
Lol this is so hurtfully relatable, I keep a Notion table for literally everything or else I forget. Notion is like my backup brain where I can go to when I forget stuff. Which is often.
@@MrJRhacks exactly 😭 forgetfulness and also to remind me of what i actually should be doing, bc otherwise i'll latch onto smth entirely unnecessary when i have smth way more important to be doing, good old notion saving the day
I'm an INFP. I thought we would be at the top of the list. When we are not respected, we ghost people. It is not our first choice but if you screw with us long enough, it's just "Right then... " and we are gone without another word.
It was hard at first, but one of my biggest regrets is not learning this as a teen.
That's actually the difference, you have to think about it. Other types just unconciously do it.
I wish you wouldn't. Please give feedback first. (Heartbroken INTJ)
I'm (infp) against ghosting. It's disrespectful. We don't need to like everybody but we need to respect them enough to tell them. No need to be mean or personal about it.
Y'all also ghost people for no reason whatsoever, it's not just disrespect
@@EresirThe1stIf you don’t know why someone ghosted you, ask them. Most likely it’s because you never even bother to communicate in the first place…
As an INFP sometimes I ghost people by accident or because I’m drained. I just get so drained from people trying to talk to me, and I want to make each individual person feel like they’re important to me, that sometimes I just put my all into every person I talk to that it just becomes so draining that I just ghost everyone for a couples weeks to a month. Dx
This is exactly it. If I’m going to talk to you I want to give you my full attention and consideration even if it is just a text. Unfortunately my attention is usually all over the place and then I forget and by the time I remember it seems too awkward to reply. I’m a mess I admit it.
As INTJ, I "ghost" people, because sms were discovered to deliver messages that you can read whenever you have time, and respond whenever you have time. If it's something important - you call. Therefore I "ghost" people because I have more important things to do. BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT MESSAGES ARE FOR.
I can confirm. 👻
My mum often complains that I'm never reachable "What if it is an emergency?!" If it is an emergency 911 is who you should call
As an ENFJ, I definitely used to always welcome people into my life but I try to be more careful now since I only have so much time and I want to dedicate it to my most loyal and committed friends. I haven’t really ghosted anyone, but I definitely have intentionally drifted away to take care of my mental health or from just not having time to keep up with many people
Very fair point on ISFJs, if there is an issue, we NEED to talk this out. Even if we decide enough is enough, we need the closure and everything to be clear. And ENFPs being warm ghosters... that was so spot on. Really...very spot on. From my experience it's everything or nothing. When you talk/meet they are extremely warm and dative, but they can ghost you any time due phases they are through.
I love ISFJs loyalty! As an ENFP I'm guilty of forgetting to reach out sometimes that's true, and yes I'm either fully present with someone or not at all, but I think that's better then having half hearted conversations. If ENFPs don't respond you might want to try again. They just might have forgotten to answer/reach out or were unwell and needed alone time. But being persistent helps to get responses again^^ I think it's seldom to lose an ENFP just like that.
@@freidenkerin5198 Some of my most beloved friends and relatives are ENFPs so I know that well. And I understand it fully, as I also have figured I am the one that needs to reach first almost every time. Sadly, it's frustrating for people of schedule and stability... You guys are like the wind. A pleasant breeze that comes and goes but never stays static. And we are like solid earth, so finding a common ground is a little hard sometimes...
Still love you as you are.
@@CineMairon Love this - I'm an ISFJ, and I "lost" an ENFP years ago, due in part to proximity, but also to that freespiritedness. Sometimes I still feel a bit melancholy about how deeply connected we were, but I never felt like she had thrown me off or we had a friend breakup, or anything. It was really soothing to hear Nathan's take and to read these comments to remember that she just floated away to her next round of people, and our temporary close-friend connection was real.
ISFP and my interest in hanging out and talking to people just comes and goes. Sometimes I'll be super enthusiastic about talking and doing things with you, other times I've (re)discovered a hobby I'll be totally absorbed in or I just wanna chill in quiet. It's not you, it's my mood.
INTP here. To be fair, I did end up ghosting someone I went on a couple dates with just because I didn't see us working out and I didn't know how to tell him. he also seemed like the sort of person trying to force a relationship to happen faster than was natural and it spooked me. He was constantly messaging me and I always felt a minor since of dread with engaging with him simply because I was not ready for that social interaction. I still think about that 4 years later and always feel like I should reach out and apologize, but then I figured that it would only reopen any hurt feelings and would be mostly for my own benefit and peace of mind rather than his. I personally hate the thought that I caused someone to feel upset and would like to right the wrong, but seems like the better thing maybe would be to move on and forgive myself for being inexperienced with dating.
as an infj, i really don't ghost people. it seems kind of cruel to me, I don't like to do it. Regarding the door slam, it's only with people I've tried many times already and I've probably stated exactly why I door slammed them in the first place while I was trying to fix the situation.
To me, “ghosting” implies that someone disappeared without explanation. If I slam the door, you know what you did.
@@sarahakin Agreed. I’ve disappeared without an explanation/doorslammed people a couple of times in my life, and I don’t regret it. I only regret one of them. That was not a doorslam, though, but just me being a coward🤥 I ghosted my online boyfriend when I was 17 because I dreaded the day we would eventually have to meet each other irl🫣
Absolutely agreed. The door slam is after several times crossing my line , with WAY too many times forgiven. And the door slam is MY fault? I have learned to my draw lines more clearer tho.
@@missdenim6590 Exactly, the door slam is the last resort.
Yes, exactly. I’ve been ghosted a few times before but the one that really got me was by my long-time childhood friend. She was probably an INTP, and always forgot to text, but still. NOT COOL. One day she just completely stopped texting or calling and I was too chicken to ask her why. I’m still a little bitter about it. I heard she's married now and about to have a baby.
But I have door-slammed people, like emotionally absent family members who seem to care less if I was in their lives or not. I don't tolerate disrespectful people. And I'm not really in to superficial friends who only reach out once a year to say Merry Christmas or happy birthday. I’ll still be polite to them but that's not really a TRUE friend in my eyes. 🤷♀️
ENFJ here, we ghost if we don't want to end it, but know that it's best for everyone if we just walk away
Good to know, since I've been ghosted only once in my life, by ENFJ, and I couldn't figure out the reason why
@@mojyoqueen350 aye. Sometimes ENFJ do it. cofirmed x2 👻
INFJ here. With acquaintances I would put myself somewhere between "sometimes" and "likely" (only if they give me good reason to). However, with people in my inner circle I would say "highly unlikely" and if I do, then it means I have exhausted every attempt to repair the relationship and no longer have hope that it can work on any level. Even then, I will usually make it clear why I am ghosting them...The "heartfelt letter" comment is spot on 🤭
As an INTJ I have to agree with what you said about us (altho my istj friend might think similarly), that I find _most interactions_ unfruitful and superficial, and people, average. But over the years I've learned that I have to maintain at least some superficial interactions with such superficial friends to satisfy my social needs (I also go out a lot more to explore, mostly alone), otherwise I isolate myself too much and lose touch with the real world and would mope too much.
That's the worst part of being an INTJ. Disliking social interaction, but also needing social interaction because you're still a human being
Same, I'd say is something like "I don't _want_ to interact with people, but I think I _NEED_ to interact with people, sooner or later... sigh"; it feels more like a chore and I hate it lmao
As an ISTP I thought it would be in the highly likely category. I do it all the time 😅
Totally agree.
Same but I am an INTP
You’re a bad person
@@Lm56lm uwu
INTP here. Sometimes we get distracted and forget to message back. By the time we remember, it’s been a few days and we reluctantly ghost because it would be too awkward to explain where we’ve been or what happened.
"Its not that an INFP ghosted you, they just forgot to send a postcard...from Dreamland !" Thank you for speaking the truth about us ! 😂
I'm an ENTP and find ghosting actually quite despicable. The only time I did it was either accidentally or when stalked. I do feel staked a lot 😂
INTJ here... depends how ghosting is being defined. I usually only hear ghosting in the case of a relationship or deeper friendship, and only when you are not replying to the other person's attempt to communicate. I don't think ghosting is really something you do to acquaintances or casual friends (as people mutually and naturally drift apart if they were only together through circumstance anyway, like coworkers). When it comes to people like this, yeah, I make no attempt to keep in contact, but if they should ever reach out to me, I would pretty immediately reply, because I find it rude not to.
When it comes to a deeper friendship or relationship and I have made the decision to cut them off, I would never, ever ghost someone. I would be up front and tell them exactly how I felt and why before cutting them off. I think ghosting is cowardly and can cause a lot of turmoil for the victim; on the other end, I would need the closure myself, I would WANT them to know why I don't want them in my life anymore.
Any other INTJs agree? This was one of the few takes I disagreed with quite strongly. However, again, depends of how ghosting is being defined.
I understand this. I had not previously considered the turmoil it could cause the person on the receiving end until my sister (a wonderful person) was ghosted and I saw how hurt she was, she thought they were good friends and reached out multiple times. Since then, I decided if I'm cutting people I have close relationships with off/ghosting I will tell them why before doing so.
Most likely I'll one word answer until they lose interest, I'm too stubborn with a similar sense of moral obligation to not respond. Although if I am preoccupied with something important or overloaded with messages I may have significant delays in my responses.
Agreed. Ghosting is very cowardly, and I hate cowards
Entp. Ill ghost a stranger ive been febating on the internet as an unscheduled recess, but i wouldnt ghost someone that I actually was friends with, even in an argument
As an ISTJ, I agree. The people I necessarily have to end the relationship (which is very few, but there are, in the past), show disrespect to some level that I think I didn't want to hold them in the 'close friend' section or simply remove and then told them (via online) about what's they were wrong (2 different cases). This is not any fun thing to do, rather than I have to do it for the sake of my and their own peace.
And Nathan puts it "archive in the done section", well put. After that if I meet them again, I'll be just peaceful and normal, just fine.
INTP here. I don't think I've ever ghosted any love interests. I have never had a problem with just being brutally honest and saying "I'm sorry, I don't this is gonna work" because that's how I would like to be treated. Let's just act like adults and this way I don't waste my time and you don't waste yours. I get very annoyed with people that play with other people's feelings.
I do ghost my friends and family though lol I know it no matter what, we will always be there for each other. Sometimes just need 3 months alone and away from everyone to have a mental breakdown but I'm always only one text message away if they really need.
(INTJ) Ghosting is a tricky area for us, and requires quibbling over many semantics. Straight-out ghosting is unlikely because that violates our very strong (and simplistic) Fi. INTJs prefer direct, honest communication, with realistic feedback, so you're probably going to get a lot warning and feedback before we cut you out. We don't really hint. But this state of events is itself relatively unlikely because we'll spend a lot of time trying to sort the good folk from the annoying humans. And statistically, you're probably an annoying human to begin with. If you're in our inner sanctum, then you'll probably know that something you're doing is bad anyway. Anyone who gets cut off is probably extremely clueless and self-involved, and is ignoring many, many requests not to do something we find particularly egregious.
INTJ here, I used to ghost more people when I was younger - I just met more people than I do now and I didn't like many of them but social norms required me to keep in touch with some of them. Covid and working mostly from home cut it down significantly ;) When I ghost sb it's always intentional, I have an important reason to do so (usually the reasons are somehow related to my general well-being and the fact that said person had been an unpleasant distraction or even dangerous); I sometimes block that person phone number/social media too.
INFP. I could count the people I haven't ghosted on one hand. I briefly considered developing insecurity about it -- that I couldn't maintain relationships/friendships because people left me sooner or later. Then I realised that in 100% of those relationships I did the leaving. So there's no point feeling insecure about it. It's just my way. At first there were unspeakably INFP reasons for it, but now I think it's just become a lifestyle. Avoidant attachment maybe? Don't know.
Beginning of a spiritual awakening.
@@jadapinkett1656 Could be. I've noticed that the more I'm around other people the more difficult it is to be authentic, and the more productive my moral failings become. The less time I spend with people the more at peace I become. Solitude isn't a guarantee of peace -- I've had depression in the past so I'm well aware you can be miserable and even lonely alone. But it does seem to be the context in which productive peace becomes most likely. It could even be a necessary precondition, I'm not sure. I haven't really researched it, but I suspect the sense of self is itself an illusion evolved to optimise social relationships. Fundamentally _is_ a social relationship, with yourself. Maybe. An unconscious and fake one where there doesn't need to be one. It seems to me to be a kind of ongoing narrative that's reloaded/refreshed every time we're in a social context. It seems especially intensified by moral failures. And I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want narratives and I don't want illusions. I don't want to have a face* anymore.
I've found work that lets me spend almost all my time alone under the stars and it's enormously peaceful and invigorating. Usually I'm listening to music or audiobooks or lost in my thoughts in the silence, but sometimes I don't have any thoughts at all and that's what I want more of. My face disappears* and I'm just a kind of unbound awareness (though that seems too fanciful a way to describe something that could not be less fanciful). I experience a kind of stillness which is paradoxically resonant with all sorts of strange and subtle harmonies. I don't know how else to describe it. I'm sure there are better, less figurative ways, but I've only accumulated the ways that help me process the experience. I haven't tried to communicate it to others much, for obvious reasons.
The 'stillness' tends not to last too long, but it never even begins when other people are around. Maybe if I had some specialised sort of training I could experience it even around other people, maybe. Maybe it isn't anything that anyone else would want to train. It's possible that I consider it a new, positive state when it's actually just what "normal" feels like when I'm out of the wind of various neuroses and traumas. Though it's also possible that "the wind of various neuroses and traumas" in large parts creates the sense of self. It wouldn't surprise me if there's a hell of a lot of overlap in that zenn diagram. Though that's only a matter of intellectual curiosity to me, it doesn't change anything. It doesn't matter to me if I've come to this place through weakness or strength, through success or failure, through avoidant attachment or secure. I am where I am, and I want to explore the experience more.
I do regret that I've hurt friends by disappearing, but I'm not sure there's a way out of what I want to leave that causes no pain to anybody. It's just the nature of the beast. Though to be clear, leaving some of those friends was unintended, and leaving others was weakness. It's probably been more snakes than ladders to get where I am. It is what it is.
* Figuratively, obviously. Not in a Nicholas Cage sense.
Ha, I just realised I'm unironically trying to ghost myself.
The INTP didn't ghost you, they just got so immersed in their research that they forgot you exist. That hit was too close to home.
As an ENFP I can 100% agree, ghosting is very likely, but with relationships it's just different
As an ENFP I don't ghost people on purpose I just get busy with whatever and forget to check my messages.
Can you do a video on intps and the struggle to make decisions, both important and mundane ones?
Ad ISTPs to that one! It would be a cool video
@@mojyoqueen350 Yup!!! I realized this today, it took me 2 months to get the energy to start searching for haircuts, and I still haven't had one :\
I think I'll be a interesting topic there's a lot of info about Fe struggles but not a lot about Fi/Se type ones.
Oh boy, I really must get a haircut. I’ve been thinking about it for the past five years…
INFJ here. I don't really ghost others. I have had it happen to me out of the blue with no explanation and it left me hurt and confused. I wouldn't want to do that to someone. When I do decide to remove someone from my life, it's for a good reason and I will give a "heartfelt letter" explaining why and it's usually after I've exhausted myself from constantly reinforcing boundaries. I've only done it once and I felt really bad about it.
As an ENFJ, I indeed have almost NEVER ghosted a person.
Same unless you won’t take I’m not interested for an answer … I definitely just let a person know
INTP likely instead of highly likely because why would they be talking to you in the first place? 🤣🤣 100%
ENTP - Well, Nathan, I've never seen you get one so wrong in the two or so years I've been following you. Ghosting is a rhetorical device and is never used as carelessly are you describe. Also, ENTPs tend to be ride-or-die once we've connected. Wandering off disinterestedly is someone else. That ain't us at all. If we do ghost someone, you will know why since ghosting is a very quiet way of speaking loudly. Or using the middle finger, to be precise.
Well, richsackett3423, as an entp, I have more people who are casual, 'here's my three hour service conversation engager that I made for my own amusement' types of friends, than the ily/ride or die type of friends. considering how many people this earth contains, I believe Nathan is talking about the former.
4:28 As an ENTJ, I can confirm that this is true. I do this all the time to the point that people would understand why I ghosted them without me having to explain it to them, so they would then try to work their way around it, it's kind of fascinating.
Your channel popped up into my feed and I'm just really enjoying it. Love the wit and humor that you bring your discussions. I am an INFP and I have intentionally ghosted people in the online dating sphere. I found it telling them why didn't really improve the situation and just made it messy. So it's just easier to walk away. But I have unintentionally ghosted people simply by wondering off and looking up and they were not there. Thanks for what you do
INTJ here and I do not ghost. I cut people off and tell them why, or if I'm just bored I just give boring responses slowly till they give up.
ISFP here, you nailed it, I loved the bird analogy!
Entj was pretty spot on, if hanging out with someone doesn't hold any value to me I won't waste my time hanging out with them again.. for example, if I can't really relate to them emotionally or, intellectually / have nothing to learn from them or they don't support my growth / or, simply If don't find their company enjoyable .. I decline their invitations politely.
I pushed myself towards hanging out with a lot of people and different groups when I was younger and even though it was very beneficial in some aspects, it was the most exhausting thing I've ever done .. I felt fake and numb at sometimes and would have breakdowns sometimes after returning home from all the pressure.
I took my time to relax after that, and I'm trying to be very mindful and purposeful in choosing who I spend my time with.
As an INFJ, I was expecting a higher score. But you're right that I tend to write you 1 last heart-felt message to spare your feelings, and if people need something from me, I will end up answering. And, indeed, I'd never ghost unintentionally. It's only to avoid the conflict or uncomfortable conversation with me in the spotlight that I could simply skip over without any consequences.
INTJs engage" in a period social cull, where many are phased out of their cerebral ecosystems. INTJs are independent and value depth and efficiency, leading them to pull away from interactions they consider unfruitful or superficial, which is nearly every interaction they have with the average person. INTJs don't ghost, they just relocate you to the dusty attic of their mind palace.
So good. Love your capacity for metaphor.
You nailed it Nathan!
As ENFP, I hate ghosting so I'm not doing it but if i dont want to talk with someone, I simply, friendly way say it so he/she will not wait something from me. If connection doesnt work, that doest mean you should ignre the person. They are human beings, be a decent person and tell your thoughts to person.
I'm an Infp, wholeheartedley agree with this. If it's not working, there's always a decent way to communicate it. Ghosting is cruel and cowardly.
As an ISTJ, I approve this wholeheartedly 🙏
I’m an INFP and I don’t ghost people on purpose, I’ve had instances where people have just been really excessive, overpowering, and needy that I had to retreat because it was getting too much
As an ISTP the likelihood of me ghosting you is very high as having more than half a dozen friends and a few more good acquaintances is too hard for me to cope with. I'm happy to socialise with many people, but I will only stay in contact with a few.
I'm an ENFP, I have a lot of hobbies and side projects. I tend to ghost a lot because I wanted to pursue those. It feels like time is not enough for myself, my wonder and my hobbies. It's very selfish but I can't share myself much when time is not aplenty. I do wish to change this... someday.
As an infp I rarely ghost people...I might reduce my conversation and keep it simple and try to end it indirectly when we really don't feel good with the person...with others we would answer well and people whom we deeply connect ...its us who gets ghosted...haha..( happens with my intj friend most of the times)
I'm actually surprised I have long lasting friendships BC of my habit of unintentionally ghosting people that I actually care for...but I'm just so quickly drained from even semi-regular contact.
I also intentionally ghost certain people but those are more a choice of excising relationships that cause me more emotional turmoil or drain me without giving me momentary satisfaction when we actually get together/communicate that makes the empty feeling after seem somewhat worth it. Oh and I'm INFP 😬
As an intj , this is pretty accurate, i go through periods of socialising and then eventually realising how pointless it was and how boring the person is . Probably because I have studied and understood them well enough to be interested any more.
I Second this as an INTJ
The way I've ghosted ppl for this exact reason. I don't know how to end things more smoothly, but i don't want to keep the conversation going bc it's a waste of time, so I take the cowardly path - ghosting.
~ intj
I think INTJs would still like to clear things up and not ghost someone in contrast to me, an INTP, who doesn't really need closure. What do you think about that?
@@Dionyzos I don't need closure for people of little consequence to my life. Someone whom I care about would not get ghosted. But that's just me 🤷🏻♀️
@@anotheridiotontheinternet6136 literally come to the comments section for such statement, because I couldn't believe that person who was my friend for more than year, could be so brutal and emotionally blind to just ignore me at worst moment of my life, out of sudden without any word. Lesson learned 🤦♀️
INTP here, this might be unpopular with those of my type but I despise ghosting, and ghosters. When you’re introverted, and find yourself among even more introverted company, you get a newfound appreciation for more sociable people. They are just more dependable on average. An extroverted friend is more likely to pick up the phone when you’re having a crisis. An extroverted friend is less likely to just randomly disappear, leaving you worried. If you have a healthily developed Fe, you really shouldn’t, as an INTP, be ghosting people often. I say this after having been in an excessively introverted friend group (with lots of INFPs and INTJs), and being pretty much forced to take on the ESFJ role (because they have the same cognitive functions as an INTP) and providing some… adult supervision to the group. It is not nice when you’re the one that decides to take some initiative in keeping the friendships from dying out, and it goes unreciprocated and unappreciated. I wish INFPs, INTJs, and other INTPs would understand this. I love your videos but I honestly don’t relate to the description of an INTP in this one at all.
You are right this is indeed an unpopular opinion...I too as an INTP feel this i mean I value extraverted types as much as introverted ones basically due to the same reason you just mentioned.If the whole world only had introverts it would be quite boring
I too am an INFP, and I understand what you are saying. On the other hand, as an INFP we are seen by many as "push overs" and seen as easy to take advantage of. We are not push overs, and if the relationship just doesn't work (clear contempt or persistent disrespect) it's time to ghost them.
I guess there is a difference between "passive ghosting" (what you are talking about), and "active ghosting" (what I advocate.) I told a date... "if you give me the silent treatment, our relationship is over." Within days, she fell silent... a week later I heard from her several times, and she left gifts at my door, but I had moved on. I wish more INFPs would learn this.
I could never run with more extroverted types for too long. Can’t keep up and I understand where I might frustrate them and make them feel unappreciated so eventually I just fall off. Amongst introverted types we do tend to start taking the initiatives and keep the party going. I feel I’ve been there too and then that gets old too. I find I just tend to go through phases of high social activity and.. none to little. I don’t think I truly ghost people as much as just slowly fall off. But to be honest I’m just happiest with a couple of introverted friends I keep in touch with only enough and touch base with once in a while. I’m older with young kids though so my hands are full and keeping up with others outside of family is not anywhere near a priority
Are you a 5w4 by chance?
I may be able to say it differently, but that doesn't mean I'll be able to say it any better than you have. Well said, my friend. 😌👍
Ghosting is either artful or it falls flat, but my attic is comfortably furnished with only a few cobwebs. There's also a bell-pull somewhere in there probably behind one of the heaps of books that may or may not be functional, and a window leading to the great outdoors for those wondering how they wound up in this strange house in the first place: your guess is as good as mine
As an INTJ I will say that we do indeed not ghost, but we do tend to forget about people. Send a message and we will remember and resume talking. If we actually want someone out of our life we burn bridges by burning them down, and then burn the charcoal left behind to ash. It’s hard to miss when an INTJ intentionally cuts you out of their life.
lol, as intp i never ghost, my selection starts in the very beginning and after it goes on i just don't do it.
I don't typically ghost, except when I do. I usually respond asap to dm's & whatnot. If I don't respond right away, I'm likely either busy or just haven't seen it.
For social media, if it's not direct messages or at least a tag, I don't consider it ghosting if I'm not keeping up with whatever is happening in a timely manner. I'm just doing my own thing elsewhere. When I do "ghost" it's either that I forgot to respond to something, don't know what to say, or else I don't want to respond... such when an unnecessary conversation looks like it's going to cause me mental discomfort.
I have 1 particular friend that can be very draining (extrovert + mental conditions). He prefers to call. If he bothers to send a text it's usually to figure out if I'm busy, so he can call. If I so much as open the message, he will call. Other times, he just randomly calls. If it's late, I'm busy, or haven't the energy to deal with him, I won't pick up. When everything is fine (or I've decided I need to be a better friend) I'll pick up. The problem is, his calls are not short and he just goes on and on without the typical pauses people do in a conversation.
I’m an isfj 👻 I’d rather die then tell you the thousandth thing you’ve done to drive me away.
I've ghosted immediate family (not super on purpose) to the point where they have sent law enforcement to my home to do welfare checks...more than once. At this point they are used to it (maybe?). I find we generally pick up right where we left off.
What's weird is that over the last few months I've had 5 previously ghosted friends/acquaintances try reach out to me in some way. After years of no contact. I have yet to respond .
It's not personal at all. I just find it hard to keep up to then add one more thing/person to tend to and interact with on an involved, regular basis. I do feel kind of bad about it, but not so bad as to create new time sucks and allow extraneous chaos. I create well enough all on my own. -ENTP
Been ghosting uninteresting or undesirable ones and door slamming some others since childhood. It takes a lot more to door slam now; I wish it hadn’t. -Older INFP
As an INTP, I feel that INTPs would be on the 'Highly Likely' tier. I regularly flake out on people and for no good reason, have even been known to cut ties with people that I've known for many years. I seem to be highly disconnected when it comes to social interactions and favor personal time over anything. I'm happiest in my own head.
As an ENTJ, I don’t ghost people. Either I wanna talk to you and I will, or I don’t and I’ll make that clear so you don’t waste my time (and so you have the chance not to waste your own) in the future. Also I don’t really go easy on friends, often my closest friends are the ones who’re best at taking it.
Infp here. How would you say we become more assertive, decisive and headstrong like y'all. I'm just generally looking for advice here. As a young adult, I though it might help.
@@Sanandita._. I have an INFP friend. I don’t know you personally, so it’s hard to say, but if you want to become more assertive, try starting out by clearly defining the most important goal you have and a loose plan to achieving it. If you have that, I’d imagine it would be easier for you to look past other people trying to bog you down at times, and simply push on, as long as you genuinely believe in the importance of the end goal. I’m just guessing here, so I’m not sure if it’ll be of any use; it’s difficult for me to teach assertiveness since I just inherently don’t value people’s feelings much, unless I consciously put effort into considering them.
@@NaN-noCZ Right haha. Ig, it's funny to see that our conversation may have taken a digression since I didn't make myself clear enough for you to understand that (in a video about ghosting) I was mostly talking about my entj crush, who when first had showed an interest in me, I had walked away from a fear of vulnerability and attachment, due to issues with past hurt and other issues with self-deprecation.
He made it plain that he believed I was rather immature, lacked clarity in my communication, avoided him, and was dishonest about my feelings towards him.
I get that for these reasons, he is tired of me. But even though I am an Fi Dom, I am only limited to what I can do to be so "true" to my feelings, due to reservations arising from my own needs of self-preservation.
These days, even if we just communicate via text, that is if at all we do, I make stupid jokes, or jokes with sexual overtones to avoid the "how we feel for each other" conversation which is rather anxiety-inducing for me.
I read in one of the previous comments on this video about how Entjs saw others as jigsaw pieces who either fit into their universe or don't, and that forcing anything was ineffective. So maybe I can understand how I could have misplaced my chance.
However, how should I approach him now so that I might possibly win him back and salvage what we had previously shared?
When I expressed a desire to ask him out again, he made a joke about how he was just that hard to get. And then again, when I invariably ended up ghosting him, (from a lack of anything better to say). He replied saying, "Man don't be lazy if you just wanna hit on me."
Lol, I didn't want to subject you to be my therapist or to the perils of young love. Any words of wisdome on this situation would help.
Ig I just don't want to lose him or let this one go to waste, even though I am still young enough (19) to work through these issues internally, and prepare myself for my subsequent relationships.
@@Sanandita._. Oof, that’s a tough one. I’ve only really been in love once myself. She left, I thought I’d never see her again, but when I did, instead of waiting around, I created an opportunity where I confessed my feelings toward her, even though I knew they wouldn’t be mutual since she had a boyfriend at the time (‘cause my dandy ass took too long). Personally, I have had people who were probably interested in me in the past, all of whom I pushed away because I didn’t notice their feelings and instead just felt they were wasting my time. He might know your feelings to some extent, so I get that the situation is different, but I still think the best thing you could do now is tell him directly, without sparing yourself, how you feel, and make it clear what you’d like to get out of your relationship together, and then giving him the option to give it a shot or to finally end it. It might seem insurmountable at the moment, but ultimately, it’s probably the best thing you can do if you’ve already tried the more indirect, down-played way. You can’t change his feelings, only how you act on them, and if he’s into you, it’ll go great, and if he’s not, it’s best you go your seperate ways while respecting eachother, a fate far better than your current state of limbo. Either way, I’m sure he’ll appreciate the intitiative. I’m not saying the choice has to be binary, by the way; a platonic relationship is possible, you just have to know how to balance it all.
I think because of our difficult childhoods my husband and I have difficulty maintaining friendships. We have ghosted all of our friends and most of our relatives. We basically hang out with our children and grandchildren, we won't ghost them lol (ESFJ and INFP). Our sons are INFJ and ENFJ, they both have friends from childhood but they have done some serious door slams. I love your channel Nathan.
As an ENTJ, I don't intentionally ghost people but assumed the conversation ended. On the other extreme, I will accidentally over text when I'm excited by people, ideas, and projects.
I’m with you there. When I’m excited about something, I am ALL IN. I’ve got to keep myself in check. Lol.
Being an ENTJ is great for the business world and a challenge in the personal life.
2:49 ouch I felt that deep in my mechanical heart Ethan 😅.
It's so true though 😂. I am starving at thd moment but there is this issue that I am completely engrossed in to go eat 😂.
INFP x ghosting is the only undebatable ship
🙋🏻♀️ Ghostwriter 😅 From writing essays for my brother to replying/advising my mom on how to reply to work related e-mails (she used to get a lot of those. She was a chemistry professor in high school so the demands and veiled threads were countless) to writing reports and requests for my dad. This ghostwriting activity extends beyond close family members but my brother’s essays and projects are no 1 priority in ghostwriting. 😅
I'm an INFP and I strongly say that yes, we always ALWAYS ghost people. It's because we can't stand conversation in general, too much communication feels guilty Nand overwhelming. Even getting a notification is alarming. Answering is HARD, we can't help it. It also doesn't feel genuine at some extent.... we might be thinking about you everyday but answering or just knocking someone is really really hard
As an ENTP I often surprise myself how easily I ghost people. 🤔
Be honest ... people get boring real quickly. (ENTP here!)
@@TheLadyOdin-Loka Too true
ENFP here. We don't mean to abandon anyone. We simply get caught up in the world of excitement out there. Remembering we have friends is like remembering to turn the stove off.
"the dusty attic of their mindpalace"... yeah fair, it's a bit like rotating summer and winter clothing in the attic
Consider it a compliment if an ISTP ghosts you, we had to notice you existed first lol.
Anybody else not able to pay attention to what he was saying until they figured out the color-coordination scheme?
As an ENTP, I exemplify my placement on the list. Nothing personal, I don't talk to people who cannot intellectually challenge me too much. If you can't I probably find you boring and it's inevitable.
I know that as an INTP, the very few times I ghosted someone is when I caught too much in my inner world and forgot to show up at a meeting.
Oh, so that's the use of attic in the mind palace. Thanks! Sincerely, INTJ 😊
lol I'm an ENFP and I've ghosted everyone I know at least once
nothing I take pride in, but I was going through some hard times and decided it's best to avoid people and solve my problems on my own, so I deleted all of my social media and tbh I now love not having social media in my life! I don't think I'll have them back anytime soon 😂😂😂
I don't hate anyone I ghosted, I just hate chatting online through texts, calls, etc.. I prefer face-to-face conversations 🤷♀
You sure you're ENFP?😃 I'm so people focussed... I can relate to disappearing in times of personal crisis, but otherwise... (How does social media work as a measurement for the amount/depth of meaningful friendships anyways? 🤔)
I might sound like an ENFJ now but I think withdrawing completely when in trouble is likely a trauma response. Real friends can support you through rough times. You don't have to get everything handled on your own. 😊
@@freidenkerin5198 lol you're definitely an ENFJ, but yeah I've tried opening up to some of my friends before and sometimes I was ignored, other times I got some empty usual words like "it's okay, it'll get better" I do believe things get better but those respons weren't helpful at all at the time, plus, all my friends NEED constant communication, that's when I first disappeared from social media for a couple of weeks, when I came back to them I was met with them guilting me for taking time off, saying nothing in the world could excuse me not texting them, so that was suffocating tbh so I ended up deleting all of my social media and was finally able to breath, as my ENTP brother told me, those aren't even good friends cause they should be understanding of me taking time off and shouldn't guilt me for it, /he told me that after I told him that I feel guilty for cutting them off lol/ so in general social media is suffocating for me, not just bc of my friends, but bc of the idea that you're always expected to respond to texts and calls if you have them even in your worst times, and I still love meeting and talking to people but as I said I prefer it irl not online, I also love being physically close to the person I'm talking to
And sorry for ranting and talking a lot about things nobody asked for, I just felt like typing a lot so I did lol, and you don't have to reply btw no worries ^^
i'm enfp and totally doing exactly the same like you do :o like everything
ENFP- if I ghost you it’s because I intend on coming back (meaning I was off doing something and I just forgot or didn’t think you cared enough for me to be around so I didn’t tell you where I was or am going). If I’m angry with you and intend to never speak to you again, I will be blunt and tell you. I will never ghost intentionally, UNLESS the person just doesn’t get the hint or otherwise incompatible with my well-being. Chances are the person knows why. Ghosting is not something to be proud about imo. I ask most new people if they ghost, because I would rather not have that person in my life. If I have a problem I would rather discuss it or try before we part ways. My best friend is an INTJ, we’ve had our times apart but we always came back. If he were to ghost me, that would be the end of ever reconciling.
i like how you explained what comes off as "ghosting" actually means for each type. my favourite was us INFPs "forgetting to send a postcard from dreamland" 😆
Whether emotions are daunting or stupid depends on the situation.
If someone says "my friend went to hospital, I feel so helpless", that is daunting. I feel for you but I don't know what to do/say.
If someone keeps complaining about something that can be fixed in 2 seconds or has already been rectified, I will likely think it's stupid. - ISTP
ESTP- I agree. Although I’d add the reason isn’t always the shiny alternative, but rather the “ghosted” being the type of person who is overly needy or shackling.
@Moondust because only ESFPs feel shackled? MBTI goes beyond a one sentence statement. It’s a known thing that basically all ExxPs feel this way. “Don’t control me, bro” stuff. Anyhow, at least I sound like an Se dom. I’ll take it.
@Moondust 😆 ok, bud
like a ghost...i am here but i am not, i am present yet absent , i am here yet i go unseen and unnoticed, you won't hear of me ever if you don't summon me for yourself once in a while cause i am too used to living my without being noticed so i do my things on my own , i am here in a second and i am gone with the blink of an eye, and many more like a ghost- an infj lol
Yup. The other day one of my colleagues said “wow you were in the office today?? I haven’t seen you all day”. Meanwhile, I had been walking back and forth in front of his office with glass walls getting coffee and what not all day✌🏻🫥
@@Seca95 i feel you bro ...
While England owned America, the Bank of England owned England. Now the Fed owns all
As INTP, I value my friends, so not likely to 'ghost' them This course of action I reserve for acquaintances, actually, if at all. If i take the time to send a text, it is reasonable to expect a reply. Those who don't reply, apparently are not interested; I then bow out, without any formal 'goodbye'.
I'd put intj in highly likely, personally. I think you're biased, you're so amazing of a person that an intj wouldn't ghost a human of your quality, however 99 percent of humans aren't of your quality.
I've ghosted almost every person in my life at some point, though not necessarily permanently. Nor was it personal. I was mostly just tired and needed solitude.I got exhausted of all the people that wanted my attention. Why would anyone even want the constant attention of istp? It boggles the mind.
As an ENTP I agree 💯. Especially about ghosting someone right after debating the morality of ghosting with that said person 🤦
We ISFJs will only be tempted to ghost you to avoid conflict with you. But if it comes down to ghosting or facing up to the conflict, we'll realize it's our duty to face up, so that's what we'll do. Once it's all been addressed, though, and we know you know that we're done with the relationship, we'll be done forever and ever and a half.
I usually get ghosted before I could do it anyways. Lol. I don’t know how people do it. But then again being not confrontational would lend itself to ghosting but that doesn’t happen. I just wait around until someone does it first or it just fades out. Or just talk less in general. I don’t know really.
As an INTJ I will say that you may also get relocated to the dusty attic very quickly for signs of drama and malice, even if the relationship should be fruitful.
As an intj i ghosted a lot of people i feel bad about it tho but it's for my own good
Would be interesting to quickly look for patterns in these videos at the end. In this case P types are significantly higher up than J types for example. I would also put INTJ down to sometimes. They might often break up relationships or don't even start them but I still think they feel obgligated to at least clear it up.
As an INTP, putting us in likely makes sense. I still think about the consequences of my actions a lot so I didn't do it yet.
Agreed with all of your rankings, Nathan. As an INFJ, I don't really like to ghost anyone, yet I will reply as soon as I can.
Ok for some reason UA-cam sent me here after I listened to Maria Callas this morning, and I wondered..."is this video new or have I seen it a million times before?" 😜 Turns out it's new - yay! Anyway aside from the complete randomness I'm INTJ and hate the concept of ghosting, I think it's the laziest form of (non)-communication ever. I think you did state it accurately though - "INTJs don't ghost, they just put you in the attic". 🙃
ENTJ here, yeah I have totally just marked people as irrelevant before. With some people I've reached a tipping point where they are no longer worth any time. Usually its revealed that they have been manipulative and lying and all sorts of negative behaviors. At that point its weird... I can shed all feeling for them and just move on and not feel bad. Because I know I was being honest and everything they were/are is a lie so not worth any of my time. Not even going to waste time explaining, the most explaining they get is me letting them know I see the lies, then I move on and I wont help them learn from it, they don't usually want to learn they did that on purpose.
INTJ here. Not only will I ghost, but I may also block. And you will not be relocated to the dusty attic of my mind palace, because sometimes I clean up there. It is not relocation, it is deletion.
"Dusty Attic" Love that xD
I’ve been ghosted by a particular INFP so many times. I hope the rest of y’all aren’t like that. I doubt it, y’all are the best
INTJs generally don't get affected negatively by someone "ghosting" or cowardly discontinuing the communication. A lot of us are capable of accurately guessing the real motives behind why certain individuals decided to ghost or unfriend us on some social networking websites. For instance, if A decides to make a regrettable choice to quit communicating with me, I'd perceive their disconnection as a probable sign they were deeply offended by some of my status updates and/or believe they can't stand how they feel intensely jealous about me for various reasons. Regardless of why so-and-so chooses to run away, as an INTJ I'd gladly avoid them similarly, quit following any of their online posts, seldom mention their names and actually feel relieved that I have less responsibility to answer messages and actually more opportunities to focus on other more worthwhile tasks which are way more deserving of my time and attention. Whoever is stupid enough to ghost an indifferent INTJ is just making a fool of themselves
I don't know what counts as ghosting these days. If I am matched with someone on Tinder and she gets the last word of a conversation that didn't necessarily have to end there, then I've ghosted several dozens. If not talking to someone after being matched counts, then probably more than a hundred. However, I don't recall ever not replying to someone that clearly expected a reply to her last message, if that's what ghosting is then I've never ghosted anyone.
- INTP