The Very Stupid Biology of the Koala
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- Опубліковано 20 вер 2024
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Select videos courtesy of Getty Images
Written by Madeleine Daniell
Animations by Vincent De Langen
Editing by Jose Gamez
Sloths: Finally a worthy opponent. Our battle will be boring
A sloth would wreck a koala
@@gavinforsyth7240 You're making the battle sound a lot more epic than it really would be
@@crinsombone5380 Yes I know got hype people and give them a bad fight.
Sloth swings once and the koala dies
>Koalas see sloths hanging from tree
>Koala thinks sloth is food
>Koala wins
Koalas seem to be aiming for an Any% Glitchless Extincion Speedrun World Record
💀
Tbf the Sloth player base is attempting this as well but they are so focused on the task, that other animals wrongfully pity them and just use them as target practice
@@ekn_38 Very true. It's going to be a fearsome battle between both species, as they face eachother, aiming to get rammed by cars, and avoid those pesky Conservationists who fight for their survival and ruin their speedrunning attempts
Do you think they can beat the current record holder: The dodo?
I thought humans were aiming for that
"If you've got a bigger brain than a koala, make sure to subscribe"
*Cries*
No, no I don't think I will
*Cries in Koala noises* 😂
Koalas: we followed the worst evolutionary path possible in the animal kingdom and we defeated natural selection.
Pandas: hold my beer
sloths: amatures i said amatures.
Nah koala is much weirder than panda or sloth
Ocean sunfish: Hold my millions of eggs.
@@umbragon2814 if it lays millions of eggs that's a survival advantage.
@@PurooRoy Laying millions of eggs is the only advantage the ocean sunfish has. They are built as a slap in the face to survival of the fittest, absolutely nothing else about them is functional
this guy straight up woke up and chose violence against koala 😂😂
I envy them. They are so useless but yet so successful in avoiding extintition. Coalas are around being useless for longer them we do.
Bonus points
They are better in everything I am not.
They do not think while I have existential crisis daily
They sleep 20 hours a day while I sleep only 5 most of days
They spend 99% of their time awake eating while I can't
Because they're on an isolated island? If Australia was connected to mainland Asia, they would've been extinct pretty soon
You should see zefrank1’s absolute annihilation of them.
Shqipeeeeeeeeee
"Koalas piddle away upwards of 80% of their time on sleeping"
You know, I'm something a koala myself
What the… just as I started to scroll down and see your comment, he immediately started saying “koalas piddle away upwards of 80% of their time sleeping”. Perfect timing.
@Jack BURDETT yes
Nah you can post that comment, so you are not a koala since koalas cannot post comments
How’s that chlamydia? 🤣
Seriously tho, sleeping is awesome.😴
@@btcool08 that happens to me on different vids
My favorite part is how they won’t recognize leaves when not on branches. It’s like when you don’t recognize a teacher outside of school but to the extreme
Haha. Interesting analogy.
Koala: _"Lef!"_
Scientists: *tear off and hold the leaf 0.000001 inches above the tree branch*
Koala: *goes mindless with derpy eyes*
Scientists: *re-attach the leaf to the tree branch*
Koala: *eyes snap to the leaf again* _"LEF!!!"_
Scientists: _"hmm... interesting."_
Well think about it. Would you eat apples off the ground, or picked off the tree? If I were a koala I wouldn't want to ground leaves, yuck.
@@_Killkor LEF!
@@KFrost-fx7dt that would make sense if koalas weren't dumber than a brick
What I’m getting from this is that the only reason koalas exist, is because literally nothing else is stupid enough to bother eating eucalyptus leaves.
I think the eucalyptus also makes the koalas poisonous so they don't really have a natural predator.
@@StephensCrazyHour I think I read that twice.
I’m your 200th like 👍
I love that this guy woke up one day and decided "alright Imma dunk on koalas for 7 minutes and post it to UA-cam."
Most of it is rehash from other videos.
I swear Koalas get high because of the fermentation of the eucalyptus leaves.
3:37 this guy is high for sure....
Permanently drunk on poisonous beer...which is already a poison.
Well koalas dont eat meat so they eat leaves which are poisonous but anyways they get used to it.
Employer at the job interview: "how have you made it so far in life with so few talents, skills or achievements?"
It’s shocking that the Australian megafauna like the diprotodon, marsupial lion & giant lizards (megalania) went extinct yet koalas still are extant today.
Not that shocking when you consider all their homes were burnt down.
@@superpeanutcrusade9208
The aboriginals practice fire hunting, completely destroying the original environment of Australia.
@@superpeanutcrusade9208 the ancient aborigines hunt megalania to extinction lol, also, big and slow marsupials that are megalania favorite food, went extinct, leaving a smaller and more agile marsupials (like kangaroo) so... Without food and pressure from humans, they went extinct
It is just survival of the cutest.
Every time i hear someone talk about koalas it’s always with the venomous hatred as if there mere existence is an insult to life itself.
tbf it's kinda the same way they talk about other humans too.
Because it is.
I mean he isn't wrong
sunfish : allow me to introduce myself
Stupid people thinking they are intelligent.Stop bashing an animal because you think you are intellectually superior.this animal has survived brutal conditions.You wouldn't last 2 days in the outback
"This thing sure is cute, I don't need to do *anything* else, because cuteness is obviously the most important quality for any creature to have"- Evolution when creating the Koala.
Next video: The Very Brilliant Biolo- I Mean Engineering of the Corolla
This isn't related at all, I live in Perth Western Australia and we had a 9 yr old kid steal a Koala from the zoo in 2016 and it was funny asf
That's The Most Madlad Thing I've Heard Today.
how lol
No the koala did not like that
Reminds me of the book “poached”
@@jozenne0018 lol the animal seem too dumb to not like anything
Here's an interesting fact about koalas I checked animal IQs and I found out that koalas are less intelligent than ants
Koalas are basically just the Australian version of sloths.
How dare you! Sloths are so much better and more interesting. They are not just slow, they are impressively slow. So slow that animals who use movement to find prey, like eagles and jaguars, can't even spot a sloth because it moves so slowly. That is badass. And when you watch a sloth move as a human, it's trippy because it moves so much slower than your brain expects it to.
Also their fur is so wet, thick, and slow-moving that entire ecosystems call it home. There is a species of moth that lives in sloth fur that is found nowhere else on Earth other than in their fur. There's also a species of fungi that lives in their fur which has been proven to destroy breast cancer cells. Show me a koala with a fur mushroom that can cure cancer. Oh that's right, you can't!!!
A sloth is not just an animal, it's an entire ecosystem unto itself.
I await your apology.
The Chlamydia kills me every time 🤣🤣
That's where I got the mid vid ad.
woah you know condoms exist, right?
@@crazycats3390 But my dad didn't..
Koalas: “they hate us cuz they ain’t us 😤”
Every Human Group: *Insulting and Offended* “I took that personally”
Fuck taxes but fuck koalas too I'd rather be a monkey or tiger. Literally anything else 🐨
Trust me! You don't wanna hear a Koala roars when they fight.
I love it, cause the sound is terrifying and often followed by a koala falling out of a tree. If you wanted to know if drop bears are real, look no further than the koala lol
Saw a video of something like that and the koala sounded like a nightmare on sulphur hexaflouride. Very unexpected.
They don't scream, they angry burp
@@Hyenadont that might have inspired the drop bear urban legend.
Yeah I’ve seen a video, hilarious
5:38 is the koala getting bonked by the poisoned sausages you were talking about in the last video?? that's hysterical
God: let's make animal that has low stats on everything but have Lv 100 LUCK and see what happens
"Koalas are incredibly anti social animals"
Me: Maybe I am koala
Even you are smarter than koalas
The continued existence of koalas while other much more interesting animals went extinct is the biggest middle finger to biology on the planet.
Yet everybody seems to have jumped on the bash Koalas .
Poisonous celery does sound like you're just describing rhubarb.
I never thought I'd learn that koalas had smooth brains
TierZoo + BioArk = The Best Collab
True 🔥
The very Stupid Biology of Koalas....
Now that’s a good title
Love the title. Currently watching ads. Idk....... Maybe it helps the channels ad stats or something.
As an Australian we have lots of stupid creatures here i suggest you do a video on the elusive "bogan" or in the city they are called the "eshay"
The tooth degradation is the ‘natural’ way elephants die too. It’s a great example to explain that evolution is not some way nature is designing things to be the best but truly random and the stuff we see is just what worked well enough. Still ironic, being an obligate herbivore with no tooth specialization.
Koalas are that one kid who thought dog poop was fudge
I immediately enjoy anything that points out how completely useless koalas are.
Koalas are like when you're playing an RPG and you pick all of the worst stats and talents
@BioArk at NO point have I EVER said that chair pants were a bad idea.
Video in a nutshell: Koalas are stupid. :>
Wow, someone DID NOT come to play today. That's a very aggressive take down on koalas.
Everyone just roasting Koalas left and right.
Well this sure is a nice BioArk video about Koalas.
Also I wish you a good day.
Let's release some breeding Rocky Mountain Lions into Victoria... equipped with camera collars.
Don’t diss my man da koala 😤
i think the refusal to eat eucalyptus leaves that arent on trees protects them from wanting to forage on the ground, which puts them in danger from predators?
that’s a good idea
Me: Koalas are a bunch of idiots
Also me: sleeps all day and doesn’t recognize people outside of school or work
Still me: nani?
This video should be retitled as the Roast of Koalas
imagine having a quarter of your entire vid be an ad
Wow! I didn't realise how much the Koalas have so much in common with the Australian people 😅🤣
At least we dont live with fuckin guns and dumbass karens
People should really help speed up the evolution of koalas to make them better at being alive. They should be able to expand their diet, including more of a variety of nutrient and calorie rich foods, among many other changes.
I believe so too, but koalas only eat what's on branches, if you put the eucalyptus leaves in front of them, they'll just look at it stupidly
5:25 koala's brain is like old diesel engine, simple but indestructible
So Koalas are basically the W123
This is the first time I have heard him close to laughing while recording the audio.
2:35 If the koala is literally drowning in an Olympic swimming pool... it is drowning, not starving to death.
Koala’s existence is an insult to life
Every design is fit for their lifestyle.
Maybe eating while watching this video wasn't my best idea...
“It was the Koala, not me!”
This is the best Koala diss track I’ve seen all year
9:32: Or you decided to skip through the ad...
5:27 If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
Koalas; proving stupidity can be a survival skill.
Evolution: natural selection, bitchez!
Koalas: how about... no.
"And koalas CANNOT be trusted"
Such cute, dumb animals. They may be stupid but you know what they probably don’t have? Anxiety and existential dread. Sounds like a decent trade off to me
They're having a chlamydia epidemic also.
Ten minutes of a guy roosting koala's
I like that
I never knew that Koalas were dumb and disgusting
So to get to Mars you'll need to unalienable about 14mil koalas
koala: i want to eat leaf
euaclyptus leaf: no dont eat me im worthless
koala: no i want leaf!
eucalyptus leaf: i'II poison u
koala: i will specifically evolve to eat leaf
eucalyptus leaf: i literally have no nutritional value
koala: I e f a
There isn't a TierZoo vid on koalas yet, is there?
Nope
this channel must be a money maker, 1:30minute long ads and 10:01minute long video
Wow they are weirder than I thought... how is that even possible?
My spirit animal 🐨
those chairs could be useful for sitting in rooms i am not supposed to be in
I thought UA-cam has reduced the video length requirement of better ads from 10 minutes down to 8 minutes?
Whats more messed up about them is that their ancestors where as dangerous if not more so than lions, even better hunters and killers aswell.
Well, mostly their ancestor in australia.
I'm so happy that my favorite UA-camr talked about my favorite place, the Georgia Aquarium. Thank you, RLL!
Bro aren't the chair pants from Regular Show?
Makes me wonder about Thylacoleo. It was an ancient Koala and Wombat relative (Vombatiformes) that evolved to look like a weird Kangaroo Lion. Bet it was dumb as fuck.
That’s why it went extinct because of how unintelligent it was!
@@SlapstickGenius23 Not quite. Like most non-african carnivorous megafauna it was almost certainly driven to extinction by outcompetition by humans.
It went extinct around the same time Aboriginal Australians arrived, and it's primary food, the giant Diprotodon Wombat, was driven to extinction.
Interestingly though it's thought Thylacoleo's behaviour is what served as the basis for Drop Bears.
i litterally could not be fucked if koalas died out
And people care about saving these guys because..?
It can affect the ecosystem
@ 5:13 ; Who figured that out 😳⁉️
At first I thought the sponsor was "chair pants" and I was going to check them out on the description
SponsorBlock: *automatically skips the advert segment*
BioArk: "since you lasted through that entire ad, here's one last special Koala fact"
Me: I am unworthy! 🤣
Koalas make sloths sound a lot better
This guy is like Huggbees, but for like animals and I'm here for it
Smooth brained Koala!
“Koalas have a gut / body ratio of 7/1” you sure it’s not 1/7? Like here is an animal, 1/7th of its body is guts. Not here is guts, 1/7th of it is a body
I feel like he just made this channel to roast animals and I’m here for it
That picture of an actual smooth brain is kind of weird. It almost looks like a piece of raw chicken or something.
My spirit animal
Koalas are not extinct exactly because of the whole eucalyptus thing. No one else wants it, so there's no competition. They reproduce fast enough and have plenty food.
3:38 The koala looks like he must be having the time of his life.
great video bioark. legit cackled. though stupid, they are very cute. have a good week!
0:40 by that logic, we would chuck gasoline, paper and coal.....
Koala's biology is excellent for the habitat they found themselves in before we came along and destroyed it
More like there was no selection pressure at all, which is why their specializations are extremely unadaptable
If I’ve learned anything from social media, no matter how stupid someone or something is, you can still make it to the top 😂😂😂😂
Ahh, I see someone read the tumblr copypasta about how koalas suck.
That copypasta sucks, it just peddles pure misinformation.
You can just hear him barley keeping his laugh down
To anyone who disliked, you have the same brain-to-body ratio as a koala
Platypus VS a pairing of Panda and Koala. My money is on the Platypus.
I get conservation and stuff, but some animals just don’t deserve to be saved
5:38 anybody else notice the remaining poison sausage?
Pandas are definitely another example of dumb luck......