What Lack of Empathy Really Means

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  • Опубліковано 29 тра 2024
  • Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is crucial for healthy social interactions and relationships. However, various personality disorders exhibit different manifestations of a lack of empathy. Antisocial individuals, often associated with traits of impulsivity and disregard for social norms, display a shallow or superficial understanding of others' emotions, primarily driven by self-interest. Sociopaths, typically characterized by a history of behavioral problems and deceitfulness, also exhibit a limited capacity for empathy, viewing others as tools to be manipulated for personal gain. Psychopaths, with their characteristic charm and lack of remorse, demonstrate a complete absence of empathy, allowing them to exploit others without guilt or remorse. Notably, psychopathy is strongly associated with a lack of empathy and is linked to a range of antisocial behaviors. Narcissists, focused on maintaining their inflated self-image, may lack genuine empathy, as their concern is primarily self-centered. Similarly, individuals with borderline personality disorder may struggle with empathy due to their intense emotional fluctuations and difficulties in regulating emotions and maintaining stable relationships. Overall, while the lack of empathy presents differently across these disorders, it undermines the capacity for genuine emotional connection and can lead to harmful interpersonal dynamics.
    Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award-winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
    He has published several articles and books in these areas and is the author of:
    The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
    Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
    rb.gy/hdyqyy
    Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality Disorders: A New Conceptualization of Development, Reinforcement, Expression, and Treatment. Available at: tinyurl.com/2anv8dww
    The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
    Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
    Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Silver Award Winner):: goo.gl/sZYhym
    Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
    UA-cam: / @drdanielfox
    Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
    Dr. Fox’s Blog: www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
    Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
    Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
    LinkedIn: / drdfox
    Instagram: / drdfox
    Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
    youtube shorts,youtube channel,youtube video,emotions,mental health,facts,emotional facts,youtube short,youtube shorts video,shorts,mental illness,mental health awareness,how to improve mental health,improve mental health,mental health tips,anxiety,dr fox,dr fox shorts,dr fox youtube channel,dr fox bpd,dr fox npd,most viewed youtube shorts,psychology,therapy,depression,therapist,splitting,relationships,relationship advice,healthy relationships
    00:00 Introduction
    00:20 What is a lack of empathy?
    00:44 Antisocial lack of empathy
    03:10 Sociopathic lack of empathy
    03:25 Psychopathic lack of empathy
    05:11 Narcissistic lack of empathy
    06:29 Borderline lack of empathy

КОМЕНТАРІ • 62

  • @ladybaabaa3294
    @ladybaabaa3294 Місяць тому +9

    I have BPD and do feel intense regret and guilt after splitting on a loved one. But I also have high antisocial traits, so I definitely lack empathy in most other situations and with people I don't love deeply or bond with. In a way, I feel like those antisocial traits protect me from some of the pain of the BPD.

    • @user-wh2kt4zf6r
      @user-wh2kt4zf6r 15 днів тому +1

      Totally understand this. Didn't think it about it this way. Thanks

  • @sarahleahB
    @sarahleahB Місяць тому +3

    I know someone who says she doesn't feel guilt. I guess she is quite lucky because i feel a lot of guilt and shame. Sometimes i dont feel worthy of love, which coincide poor self esteem but it seems to be less prominent now than when i was much younger. I was very shy, lacking in confidence.
    This person i was talking about seems to fit the discription of a person with antisocial personality disorder, she is calculating, but impulsive. She loves socialising and loves being the center of anything risky. It borders but never goes over into anything illegal. She went for a job interview and didnt tell the interviewer that she was not qualified for or had experience in the job, she got it and then learnt on the job what to do. I could never do that. We have lost contact. It was interesting because she seems to get along just fine.

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Місяць тому +2

      Thanks for sharing. Resist that inner critic and find your path that works for you.

  • @katieg7679
    @katieg7679 Місяць тому +12

    They also used to think that people with autism didn't have empathy or 'theory of mind.' I think it's amazing how our understanding of the human mind is changing and developing. The empathy thing is such a crucial thing when you talk about reducing stigma, because people will be much more likely to be helpful and understand a person that struggles with their emotion regulation but has the capacity for empathy, rather than the old view that people with BPD are just attention seekers who are looking to manipulate and drag other people down to hell with them.

    • @birdlover6842
      @birdlover6842 Місяць тому +1

      I was diagnosed autism spectrum disorder and I have no emotional empathy. I knew an autistic man who appeared to have none either by his behaviour. Perhaps empathy has nothing to do with autism.

    • @Alphacentauri819
      @Alphacentauri819 Місяць тому

      empathy is a coordination of many things. Caring is one aspect, which is like one instrument in a symphony (empathy being a full orchestra).
      Many autistic people have the capacity to care, definitely.
      However, the complex nature of understanding another person’s emotional experience, consider context, understanding what they need in that particular situation, and expressing things in a manner that meets the situation…I do not know people with autism who can do that. The complexities of all the processing, along with their own unmitigated emotional experience, often creates too much of a barrier, to be able to accurately empathize with others.
      Do they care? Yes, often. However, that’s only one variable in the equation of empathy.

    • @JonathanVachon777
      @JonathanVachon777 20 днів тому +1

      Its exausting to listen to these "specialists" seriously.
      Its like there is no hope at all.

    • @birdlover6842
      @birdlover6842 20 днів тому

      @@JonathanVachon777 the specialists claim if you have no emotional empathy there is no hope. :(

  • @VeronicaNicole4778
    @VeronicaNicole4778 Місяць тому +3

    I so appreciate your ability to communicate how devastating it is for someone with BPD traits after they act out. I was always trying to get my ex husband to understand the pain I was in and how sorry I was after I acted out but he just saw it as I did these things purposefully and thought I had no empathy for him yet an overload of empathy for others and that was devastating to me that he thought that about me although I get it. I’m not trying to justify but having someone like yourself explain and understand really helps to enable those who struggle to get better so thank you. Understanding my struggles and learning better ways has been life changing for me! I understand now that not only can I do better but I can choose relationships with people that are more complimentary with myself and my struggles.
    And thank you for recommending the DBT in MI. I’m going and it’s been wonderful! 💞

  • @mickeysmith4555
    @mickeysmith4555 10 годин тому

    I’ve been working with a therapist who specializes in treating cluster B patients. I’ve been diagnosed with Borderline and we’ve come together to the conclusion that I have a few very strong anti-social traits specifically around kleptomania and what she’s been calling selective empathy.
    I am able to choose easily who to empathize with and if someone to me seems unworthy of empathy I simply don’t feel it and can easily manipulate them or cause harm with no regret though I do feel shame. It’s not the kind of person I want to be and I am trying to learn more empathy for others

  • @plaster.art.ho3
    @plaster.art.ho3 Місяць тому +1

    U r honestly sucha breath of fresh air. Thank you, 🥺

  • @michelekurlan2580
    @michelekurlan2580 Місяць тому +3

    After watch this channel for awhile, we think Dr. Fox favors the color red, which btw is trending on and off the runways this year. 😊

  • @tomybartok99
    @tomybartok99 Місяць тому +2

    I tend to switch off my empathy towards certain people. I know it's a trauma response. I have very protective/controlling parents. This made me an extreme people-pleaser. And when it's impossible for me to please someone I start to hate, demonize them and start seeing them as all bad monsters. Now I don't know if this is splitting or what, but I also forgive people then the empathy returns and the regret kicks in if I hurt them. There are only one or two people in my entire life whom I couldn't forgive. Usually ones whom I couldn't avoid or push away with my abusive behavior, or they stopped rejecting me. Probably my ugliest trait is this 😢

    • @shahilagh
      @shahilagh Місяць тому +1

      ❤people who can forgive . Not everyone can do.

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Місяць тому +1

      It's commendable that you're reflecting on your behavior and seeking to understand the root causes. Self-awareness is the first step towards growth.

    • @JonathanVachon777
      @JonathanVachon777 20 днів тому +1

      Maybe forgive is the right way and the world and the specialist are wrong.
      Jesus teaching says to forgive and love your enemy. If people were doing that, the world not be such a mess

  • @bryanthomas4907
    @bryanthomas4907 Місяць тому +2

    I'm kind of at a point where I can turn off my empathy and that scares me but I also understand that it's a trauma response. I don't live in a place where I'm able to thrive. Very few gay ppl, no art opportunities, small town but super gossipy and cutthroat, ppl dying of fentanyl overdoses bc they're stupid. I hate it here and I'm out of sympathy bc ppl do it to themselves and if you try to help they will try to drag you down too.

  • @jspider6185
    @jspider6185 Місяць тому +1

    The thing that confuses me is that I generally can feel empathy until someone talks about being in pain (physical or mental), and if they describe it in a certain way then I start to wish further pain upon them. What's up with that?

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Місяць тому

      Could be out of frustration .

  • @danielhernandez-fo3mj
    @danielhernandez-fo3mj Місяць тому

    Ty for fighting the good fight for us with bpd and beating the stigma on lacking empathy .... I have had meny in my life say this and alot of time for me ends up driving me to act like I don't care ... cuz as I sometimes brake and belive ... why should I try if there jusy gonna see me as lacking empathy ... or not caring ..... one of the hardest parts of beating my mental heath has been fighting the ambivalence of am I a good perosn or am I a bad person and if I start to feel all others see Is a bad perosn or connect bad perosn qualities to me do to surface content I have a hard time holding onto why I am good ... but most my days all I want to do is help someone... or be there for them I literally don't even normally like trying to make someone clean the house if we both love there or if they also make the mess as I don't like being the person who trys to make them do something...... if indo brake what I say or do is just me trying to be what I think everyone already thinks of me .... not because I want to control or manipulate or any of that .... I just play a part...... I act like indont care but really I do

  • @parastoomojabi6341
    @parastoomojabi6341 Місяць тому +1

    I have a hard time connecting all the concepts and categories together. For example, when talking about attachment issues no one talks about empathy. Is it empathy when someone's full attention is on another (limerence)? I don't know. This is what I have problems with when reading psychology, each model has its own element. How would you define empathy in the word of attachment theory?

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Місяць тому

      It can definitely be overwhelming with all the different concepts in psychology. Empathy in attachment theory involves understanding and sharing the feelings of others, which can impact attachment styles.

  • @morgs_365
    @morgs_365 Місяць тому

    I’m totally empathy deficit. At times, now realizing it can turn on and off. Whether I do it or I’m unaware in the moments I should turn it on. It’s really hard to cope with this brain, not knowing if it’s antisocial disorder with narcissistic personality traits or social path with narcissistic traits. There’s so much information and everything manifest in an individual differently. It’s been a long road with only self awareness and self analyzing. So confusing and my mental healthcare sucks. Thanks for the videos.

    • @morgs_365
      @morgs_365 Місяць тому +1

      Sociopath*

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Місяць тому +1

      It's important to have self-awareness and analyze your thoughts and behaviors. Keep seeking support and knowledge to navigate through this. You're not alone in this journey.

  • @peachberryblue295
    @peachberryblue295 Місяць тому +1

    Is it treatable?

  • @sarahheld3761
    @sarahheld3761 Місяць тому +2

    My now exe husband always seems to lack an empathy but he has Asperger's so I was always giving him the excuse of that he just doesn't know how to show it

    • @reneelibby4885
      @reneelibby4885 Місяць тому +1

      oh I feel this!

    • @birdlover6842
      @birdlover6842 Місяць тому

      Asperger's individuals treat people like objects. They seem to lack empathy. That's been my experience as well as other people who know someone dx asperger's.

  • @Sunflowerkisses364
    @Sunflowerkisses364 26 днів тому

    My spouse has bpd and he lacks empathy. I recently shared something that I was going to start addressing g from my childhood and he just sat there. He does this often. A lack of emotional connection makes me feel as tho he doesn’t care 😢

    • @angelicacroitoru4946
      @angelicacroitoru4946 10 днів тому

      My boyfriend has not BPD, but when I told him about my sexual abuse at age of 3 , he also just sat there. He never talks about emotions, only about chores or work.
      I have my issues and I feel that I have to deny my emotions and suppress them.

    • @Sunflowerkisses364
      @Sunflowerkisses364 День тому

      @@angelicacroitoru4946 very right on but don’t do what I did and held it in for years and years

  • @plaster.art.ho3
    @plaster.art.ho3 27 днів тому

    I don't lack empathy. I js wna get my needs met

  • @reneelibby4885
    @reneelibby4885 Місяць тому

    I don't have one, but Im starting to think I'd like one.

  • @bornwithoutconsentobviously
    @bornwithoutconsentobviously Місяць тому +2

    As I get older I feel like I’m getting or having less and less empathy for people, especially people I’m not close to or don’t care about.
    I’m not proud of that or happy with it.
    I’d like to be more open minded and empathic and have less black and white thinking as I did/had when I was younger.
    I was more empathetic towards others back then.
    What is the difference between empathy or sympathy by the way?
    I sometimes don’t understand.
    I do feel guilt or remorse, but also, the older I get, it’s kind of fading away.
    Again, unfortunately.
    I shouldn’t be like this or think like this, I understand.

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Місяць тому +1

      Thank you for sharing your perspective

  • @anitabubic6094
    @anitabubic6094 Місяць тому

    Super as Always!

  • @shahilagh
    @shahilagh Місяць тому

    :( oh I m so empathetic ,,, Emily Dickinson version, and it is a disorder for me to learn to have less toward the things. I m working on it

  • @miss_8thwonder
    @miss_8thwonder Місяць тому

    What are all the happy hormones usually A BPD lacks corresponding to other normal human &
    why do we lack Empathy & love towards ourselves, it is like you can love the entire world but not yourself

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Місяць тому +1

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts and questions. It's a journey to understand ourselves better and work on self-love.

  • @stoneyvowell1239
    @stoneyvowell1239 Місяць тому +4

    Lack of empathy is also a symptom of Autism. That's part of the reason it gets confused with narcissism.

    • @RunninQHsRock
      @RunninQHsRock Місяць тому

      What's wrong with that statement is that it's assumed that lack of empathy in autistic individuals is due to the autism when autistic people are just as capable of having a lack of empathy as anyone else and are actually more prone to having NPD than non autistic people.

  • @stephbowler3141
    @stephbowler3141 Місяць тому +1

    This video was very informative. It's difficult for me to understand people who don't have empathy but you explained things very well. Both my parents have difficulty expressing empathy, even though it's easy for me and I appreciate your insights.

  • @esthernail3810
    @esthernail3810 Місяць тому +5

    I have a background in psychology, and I used to think that people like this were hopeless … However, The Bible talks about this. It talks about a heart of stone, and it says as you open your heart to Jesus and develop personal relationship with Jesus . he’ll give you a heart of flesh , in other words, a heart that can feel and empathize with others. . and I can testify that I have seen the difference in many people who become true Christians not religious, but humble true grateful to the Lord Christians. ♥️😁

    • @Chillllllbruh
      @Chillllllbruh Місяць тому +7

      Lol No. Stop spreading religious nonsense on actual informative videos. Thanks

    • @reneelibby4885
      @reneelibby4885 Місяць тому +4

      UGH. thought you were e going to say something useful, but you went right into the book of fairytales.

    • @foxiefair123
      @foxiefair123 Місяць тому

      Amen.♥️

    • @J-wd3kh
      @J-wd3kh Місяць тому +1

      😑

    • @markgolden8710
      @markgolden8710 Місяць тому +1

      With Jesus, anything is possible!

  • @MyValki
    @MyValki 22 дні тому

    I basically feel people's expected responses and can non-cognitively act on that on a very charming autopilot, yet feel absolutely no compulsion to act on it. Hurting people especially accidentally can cause significant despair about creating problems or losing support, but no guilt, but I can feel their pain if I want to and usually do because being in touch with people is always interesting and helpful.
    Long ago I sought therapy and got an unhelpful diagnosis of autism which was later retracted by the same therapist, recently following another period of despair I again sought therapy and again an unhelpful diagnosis of autism in two-month sleep-deprived state... this time I am familiar with cluster-B, guess I need to turn off empathy and manipulate my therapist into believing I am manipulative instead of trying to be honest. Any advice @DrDanielFox ?

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  22 дні тому

      It sounds like you've been through a lot. Remember, seeking help is a brave step towards healing.