Mental Health Chat - Depression, Anxiety & Undiagnosed ADHD - Low Mood & Lack of Motivation Q&A
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- Опубліковано 10 лип 2024
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Pain changes people.. im there right now currently diagnosed with adhd it heightens the sense of everything, thank you so much ive been watching you for years now and love your videos i hope you can get properly diagnosed hugs 💓
Hi Mikhila, I watched this earlier in the week and was nodding and ‘yes-ing’ like the bloomin’ Churchill dog! So much of what you said is me…particularly in relation to the motivation issue. Coming back to comment and say I totally get where you’re at mental health wise. I believe today is the day of your assessment - whatever happens I hope you get some answers and support. I don’t have insta so can’t connect that way but hopefully you’ll see this and know that you’re not alone and there are plenty of us who offer nothing but love and support ❤
Thank you for this video ❤ I know it’s hard to open up about theses thing but I have awful anxiety and on my hightened day I will rewatch the same movie over and over and over again all day even if I’m not in the room I need to hear it In the house somewhere, I removed reading it somewhere that’s it’s a very common thing that is with anxiety it’s like you know how the movie will end and it calms you or something but just wanted to say your not alone ❤️❤️
It helps to talk about it but the potential negative response definitely does nothing for anxiety 😂
Sometimes it feels like “everyone thinks they have adhd” but I think that’s just the social media bubble. Nobody in my real life talks about it at all so it’s nice to connect with people who feel the same way
Chronic pain and disability for over 20 years has certainly made my depression so much worse. Getting a walking stick at 45 sucked and made me feel so old. Now at 51, I embrace it and I got a really fancy one. I am trying to be kinder to myself as I go through a lot and I am still working. As you said, it's the wins. That's a win to me. Changing the bed clothes without shouting for my hubby is also a win. It might take me 4 hours 🤣 but I still did it.
Yes, the pain cannot help ..
Especially when it becomes part of day to day life
I sufer daily from pain as well it really depresses me. Somehow I get thru it but its tough. I also suffer from anxiety so im always homebody.
Ty for being so real and making this relatable video. Hugs.
@@Lesli_Skye so very sorry you suffer too. I would not wish chronic pain on anyone. It's hellish. Xx We are tough!!
@@MissBudgetBeauty, definitely does not. I don't know life without it. Thankfully my weird sense of humour keeps me going. 😂
Thank you for this and your honesty. I too struggle with being tidy. I work all week, 3 kids and the weekends are for taking the kids out and recouping from the week, and resetting for the next. You are doing amazing and achieve so much! Yes I think you really do need to be kinder to yourself 😊 Please bear in mind that those with ADHD don't get offered much treatment, especially adults with ADHD; it is mainly medication and that has its pros and cons. For me there were too many cons so I decided to stop taking ADHD meds. I've since been on sertraline and have been on them for about 8 years. CBT is good for ADHD but you will only get so many sessions on the NHS ( I had CBT before my diagnosis, and was given it for depression). The fact you can be analytical about your behaviour is really helpful. You've clearly developed a lot of good coping mechanisms that have allowed you to succeed in a lot of areas in your life. I work with teenagers with ADHD, ASD and social, emotional and mental health issues, and sadly not everyone is able to find coping mechanisms that allow them to achieve. Not without specialist support/ education. I do think though, that an ADHD diagnosis, for you, will help you come to terms with it and help you understand yourself more. It will be that confirmation that it isn't you, or your personality, it's how your brain is wired.
I will say, I’m glad not to have been diagnosed as a child. I found those ways of coping because I thought there was something wrong with me and I had to hide it. If I’d know what I know now, I would have had an easier time but in being quicker to forgive myself, I’d have been less likely to overcome things.
I was taking sertraline and part of me thinks I may try it again but I was SO tired and generally apathetic after 6 months, I just wasn’t participating
I’m open to try anything that might help but when someone tells you you can’t have access to something that could help you because of red tape, that’s fairly infuriating
I appreciate this video so much. Mental health can but so hard to talk about and also to be believed about. Its also refreshing to hear about little wins and what happy stuff has happened in a week. I think i might start doing this once a week with the husband and kids.
Really interesting chat. I must admit to shedding a tear when you spoke about your family 😊 Hope you get sorted with your diagnosis soon xx
I have deep sighed and welled up multiple times and not even halfway through, I don't think today is the day for me to continue this vid but I'll circle back because I do appreciate you opening up ❤️ due to an adult autism diagnosis I haven't a hope in hell of being put through the ADHD one also, I also have no energy to self-refer and go through private assessment currently. I am def inattentive type but notice your main daily struggles are my daily struggles - the executive dysfunction for daily tasks etc. is the big one. If I didn't work the guilt of not being able to manage household stuff despite increase in availability of time would send me spiraling. When you were really not in a good place last year my gut was saying that it was burnout. It mentally feels like you've got one foot ready to step off the pavement but there's no way back if you take the step. Please continue to be kind to yourself, big hug 💜
That’s a great way of describing it! It’s such a weird feeling in your body that is just not easy to explain to people. If I do find a simple self referral process, I will keep you updated but honestly I think it will end up as a private job
I feel for you. I completely identify with everything too, and I don’t work and completely understand what you said.
Can I just say a big thank you, you have made me feel much less alone ❤️ I’ve been on waiting list for 4 years I’m 54 and still waiting if you can afford to pay then I would.
Love the relationship you have with your family unit 🥰 you guys are the best! And have the best holiday!! 😊
I’ve listened / watched this twice and reallly enjoyed it. Some good insight from you and it was so lovely to hear you talk about Lee, I struggle with certain aspects of my life and I’m so fortunate to have an amazing, caring hubby. It really does help and it’s important to know he’s always there for me. So grateful 🙏🏻
Something I personally know I do not tell him enough but is invaluable
So great that you have done this video. Related to so many of these things ❤️ x
Thank you! Someone was upset by my mention of adhd and I didn’t know that until this was already scheduled but I do think it does more good than harm to share our stories
@@MissBudgetBeauty sadly we can’t please everyone. If you are just sharing things about you and your life there is no wrong in that 🩷
Hopefully this video provided some kind of reset/clarity for you and reminded you of your wonderful family unit. I only asked the timer/cleaning/dopamine question as I seen the buzz you got on one of your vlogs from cleaning up your living room and office and thought this could help you. Perhaps now May will be quieter you can put your health first ❤
You have heard from me a few times but again just want to say I see you and you’re not alone. Isn’t it true that a supportive family means so much. I feel so sorry for my husband as he carries a lot of the tidying and so grateful for him.
As an aside I get the worst shoulder, neck pain and TMJ pain (diagnosed) when I’m stressed and anxious. Usually around times of extreme executive dysfunction so I do believe your symptoms and mind are likely a physical manifestation of ADHD. Amitryipline works for me, so might be worth looking into? If I haven’t taken it I’m in agony the next day so it definitely works for me.
Thanks for sharing!❤
My psychiatrist and I work under the “supposition” that I have undiagnosed adhd. I am in the U.S. By doing this, we look at symptoms through that lens, does that make sense? I also feel I have PDA, and this has made the most sense for me. I also was given Ritalin and it made everything worse. I am telling you my experience, not diagnosing you. I just relate a whole heck of a lot. I’ve also found that when I can say “oh that just my ADHD” in daily instances it helps me accept and move on. I’ve watched you for years and years. Not a dr but I want to validate what you’re feeling and going through. Also look into pda.
Because of my adhd, I feel complained to over explain and say I am a college professor, have a clean house and tons of friends- no one ever suspected this.
Yes! This is exactly why self diagnosis is still valid! My counsellor was the same.. although she also thought I had ME 😂 I think that was more side effects of medication I was taking at the time but her just accepting the adhd and taking me through things through that lens, as you say, was so comforting
Sending love and a big hug xxx
I have got chronic anxiety too and I watch the same programme all the time on repeat like you described. I have a therapist and she told me that it’s because you know what is going to happen so it provides comfort against anxiety there are no surprises in the programme. I don’t know if that is the same for you but thought it was worth sharing. I am also more and more interested in another influencer/authour/dr called dr jess taylor - i’m not sure if you’ve heard of her but some of her theories about women’s mental health are interesting and for me worth thinking about because a lot of women’s issues are pathologized when in men they wouldn’t be. I personally find her stuff really thought provoking and her ideas and school of thought is to me quite radical which I like. Again i thought this would be worth sharing. I think you’re great btw and have just received a reed diffuser and a free wax melt from an order i made with your business both are divine!! ❤❤❤❤
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Relate to this on so many levels. I’m currently sat here in a messy house, trying to finish an assignment for a course I’m doing that is due in today and it’s currently 11.45 pm 😂. Pretty sure I’m undiagnosed AuDHD but I’m 44 and perimenopausal so can’t even be bothered to ask the GP for a referral. Went to them this week for a referral to rheumatology for joint pain and was sent away with a prescription for ointment. It’s been going on for years and I’m just sick of getting fobbed off first they put it down to mental health, then my weight and this time it’s apparently just my age 😂
Trying to get a diagnosis for anything these days is like talking to a brick wall. My friend has had joint pain since a child. Told it was growing pain and then as she got older probably arthritis. She’s now 33 and only just diagnosed as having hyper mobility and that’s what’s been causing her pain her whole life.
@@Courtneyburns90 It’s like they don’t even care at this point. GPS have gone from being the ones you turn to for help to bring gatekeepers to further treatment. I’ve had allergies since childhood and it took me having an anaphylactic reaction at the age of 38 before they finally referred me to the allergy clinic. Our healthcare system is seriously broken.
My kids got ahdhd and autism diagnosis. It really helped them to get the "diagnosis" as it helped them to understand and accept themselves as you said. It's good to hear you're beginning to do same, you should definitely accept your lovely self. Mess isn't bad, I was told it was a representation of their brain!!! They tell me this repeatedly their rooms are messy and I ask them to tidy them 😂😂😂 xx
😂😂 yes, that’s me! and the diagnosis would truly take a weight off.. even before medication
@@MissBudgetBeauty I really hope they'll hurry things along. Xxxx
I have been different and "strange" since I was born. I was a twin but he died at 3 weeks old, I am not sure if this has attributed to my feeling strange. I's like a part of me is missing and always has been. I have always felt "odd" compared to my other siblings. I was diagnosed with major depression at 15, I am now 51. The depression or that black cloud is always there, it's part of me. I have just had to accept it and live with it but it's a hard road, medicated or not. Thankfully I found a wonderful man who loves me, weirdo and all. 🙂 I appreciate you opening up, It made me feel I could as well.
❤️❤️❤️
I am going through a period of really heightened anxiety right now and I’m throwing money at my problems 😂 got hello fresh so I don’t have to plan meals. Got a cleaner booked in for a few months (I love her. I wish I could afford her every day. Sadly it’s just twice a month). My therapist also recommended talking to my own brain (which sounds silly but I’m actually finding really helpful) so I’ve been trying that. I do mostly think if the sun would bloody come out I’d probably feel better.
I was never a summer person but in recent years I’ve felt that too!! Me and Emma were talking about it and wondered if lockdown changed the way we thought about weather because the sun meant we could do things/see people
I do this with friends!! Its hyperfixation to self regulate. You felt good when you watched it so you're trying to keep yourself there!!
My 7 year old son is two years into the referral process of getting diagnosed and so far I've had an email and about 60 meetings with his sendco teacher at school and that's it. She's already told me we are looking at maybe 4 more years yet🤯
Ella had a similar situation in school and that process with kids mental health services gives me Jo hope at all for adult ones
@MissBudgetBeapu0ty it's an absolute joke. Hes in trouble every day because his focus is shocking but instead of helping him sit somewhere quiet to work he just loses playtimes.
His mental health is suffering massively as a result but the gp won't do anything until he's got his diagnosis 🤯
I’m so sorry! I hope you. Have a speedier service
Thank you for doing this, you have balls Mikhaila. I hate to think you have to go private, as we pay for our NHS and want the tory c***t to fund it properly rather than selling it off but I think do what you need to do to get the appropriate assessment and then treatment for you. I am lucky I have medication that makes such a difference to my depression and anxiety I know people prefer not to be medicated especially long term, but it works for me. Remember have some compassion for yours self, kind words.
Same same.
I know it was uncomfortable but thank you for doing this video. Also if you’re doing the resetting thing or going to try 75 hard let us know, I would like to join in! 😊
I’m gonna really look today and see myself up for the 1st
I have got depression I had it for long time .I really took it bad when my both sides of my grandparents past away and my baby boy .
I don’t think anyone could take it well, Caroline but if you already had a history I’m certain it was more difficult for you ❤️
Thank you for answering my kids and joy questions. On the topic of watching a TV show over & over, I don't think thats weird, it could simply be a coping mechanism for when you are feeling low/anxious etc. I exhibited similar tendencies when I was going through a difficult time, and the CBT counsellor explained that in my case, it was a combination of self soothing and distracting myself from thinking about the things that were out of my control. She did some tapping exercises as well as get me to use 'the worry tree' which has been really helpful. Being so open about your journey will help so many people, so thank you
Haven’t watched yet because I haven’t got time, but am longing to later. I have undiagnosed ADHD but am WAY older than you. Thinking about a private diagnosis because my doctor would just laugh at me wanting a diagnosis at my age. Plus time matters😮. But not sure I want to spend that much for something I already know for certain. It would be cathartic though. ADHD has profoundly affected my life and not for the better.
I went back and forth over why a diagnosis was important too. Initially I wasn’t interests in being medicated, now I’d probably give it a go but even without, I think it’s the validation. Like you thinking green was red your whole life and other people telling you were wrong. You can KNOW in yourself it’s red but the soft telling you it really is would make you want to cry with relief
I managed to finally watch. Oh my goodness! I was answering some of your questions before you did, with the same answers 🙄. The 15 minute thing, the motivation, so much.
Really looking forward to the May crap/flat tips! Can’t wait 😮
Hi, just a thought have you looked into the right to choose for your adhd diagnosis, it's different for each nhs surgery your would have to check with your GP if they offer it but the wait time is mths not yrs x
I did that. Annoyingly, I went to one doc who said I was too old. I prepared the right to choose letters and went back with lee. This GP said the previous doc was wrong and I could be referred and I was so thrown that I didn’t push right to choose. That was 18months ago now and I kick myself every day
@MissBudgetBeauty aww thats such a shame! Doctors are so frustrating. I really try to see the same GP each time if I can, you need to find one in your surgery that your really comfortable with it makes such a difference. I'm a couple of years older than you and have gone down the right to choose path x
Too old? How completely ridiculous! I’m definitely too old then. Absolutely stupid, I’m lost for words.
Mental health can be such a struggle. Another thing to maybe consider is peri menopause. I am going through menopause but before i realised it was that i could not work out why i felt so low and so anxious all of the time. I had never suffered with anxiety or depression and had always been a positive person life & soul of the party and i was soooo hard on myself for becoming an anxious recluse with no self worth! Until something clicked and i did some research guess what Low mood, anxiety , depression feelings of failure are all symptoms of peri menopause & menopause! Six months later on HRT whilst im still battling with some symptoms others have greatly improved. So its worth considering is all im saying. Private doctors worry me because there are good and bad out there and to the bad you are just another pay cheque so do ur research xxx
Peri menopause is exactly why there’s a clock on my diagnosis. There is a great ted talk from a woman who was diagnosed with adhd during perimenopause because there are so many overlapping symptoms that is basically supercharged the adhd she’d been masking for 40 some years.
I still have my mirena coil in so no idea about periods but I do know that it behaves the same way HRT does while it’s in your system so I’m not sure whether I’d be helped futher by HRT right now
Either way.. I’m very conscious that a lot of my symptoms can be marked as perimenopause so I’d like to see someone sooner rather than later because I’m worried they will dismiss it if I’ve over 40
Your concerns about private docs are mine too but what do you do when the wait is potentially 7 years? Could you have waited 7 years for the HRT once you believed you knew what it was?
No absolutely couldn't have waited 7 years. There is no doubt that the NHS waiting list is ridiculous and Private is the only route for you, amd I'm sure you will do this but do plenty of research, go on recommendations from trusted sources not Google reviews. Maybe look at taking out private medical insurance or if Lee has medical insurance through work - I know that's a route you may be able to use although it will still cost money it may be a more trustworthy route? If your mind is made up then don't delay do it now but do it safe! I look forward to the day you post a follow up to say you have the answers you have been seeking for so long xx
I will just put it out there that my mum's boyfriend got his autism and adhd diagnosis after only about a year on the waiting list. It was a massive suprise as he was expecting to wait for years and then just got a phonecall one day for it. I don't know if the wait lists are regional or something?
It certainly is. I think if you live in areas with high populations of students the wait list is likely much longer but I was told the average was 4 for kids, 7 for adults. I wonder if they tell you that to put you off pushing for it
Hi 👋 my name is Kate but I use my husband account lol, I am like you in a lot of ways and I know that there is something going on with my mind ,my husband is just like you Lee,I am so thankful that he understands and helps me because most men wouldn't be able to cope with a wife like me, my house and myself you OK from the outside but inside everything is a mess 😢but with his help we get on with it,I have so many good things about that make up for the bad stuff and you are a beautiful, kind ,funny, great mother, fantastic friend and youtube was made for people like you 😊if you feel it will help pay to see a specialist, I know you shouldn't have to but it's going to help with your mental health than it will be money well spent and probably do you more good than any of the great holidays you go on,I love you and Emma talking about everything, I found you because I follow her,have a good week Kate 😊
Thanks, Kate ❤️
You are def not the only one, bloomin amazing to put yourself out there and...when u edited this vlog do you see how much u actually achieve? I'm sat here with a basket of washing by me and tools that need to be put away lol ❤❤❤❤
Thank you. Sally. I filmed and edited these two Q&As that day and I did feel a nice glow of “that plates spinning fine for now” 😂
I’m going to be devils advocate and say maybe just look into a private pathway and see how you feel from there. You are being impacted on a daily basis.
I commented on another vid to say we escalated his treatment by going private. Yes, it does cost and there are ongoing costs but for us it has been manageable with making sacrifices - not going on a longer holiday this year for example. At some point he can be switched into NHS care so it won’t be a cost forever.
I don’t know if I was just lucky in who we found for him but whilst I am sure there are plenty of fly by night folk in the industry I looked for someone who also had worked in the NHS as an ADHD specialist. Many do work in private and NHS.
My son masked his ADHD his whole life and girls and women are much more likely to mask. I think I have ADHD and one thing I have always felt is I have to work so hard to just keep up a level of organisation and productivity that seems to come naturally to some people and I find that very overwhelming frequently.
So Real Brave and Truthful👌👏👏👏
My sister has late diagnosed ADHD (although she feels differently about the process now) at the time it was very validating and valuable to her ❤️ So my heart hurts that the list is so long right now 🙏 She used “the right to choose” where you can go privately on the NHS…. So the wait time was shorter. I’m currently doing that for something non-adhd related and I have to say, just having things move along (although still slow) is really helping me mentally ❤️ there’s a fair amount of paperwork in doing the “right to choose”, but might be worth a look if no one has mentioned it to you before x x x
I took all the paperwork to the docs and they ended up referring me the normal way anyway.. I’m so cross with myself for not pushing it now and when I looked recently right to choose said they weren’t accepting new referrals 🤦🏻♀️
@@MissBudgetBeauty 😞that's so infuriating! Apologies I should have read the other comments before commenting 🙏Absolutely NOT your fault for not pushing, you shouldn't have to ❤
Thankyou for vulnerability, it’s not easy when there’s a possibility that to other people will it get it. It’s so complicated,and the time to attempt to get listened to doesn’t help, truly I get it. Leaving the house is a massive problem but how to fix it,it’s not what a lot of people may say, go out, duh.
Oh wow, this hit me 🥺🥺 this is my daughter, also undiagnosed ADHD but clearly has it.. This actually could be about her, she also will watch something over and over again, she finds it comforting. She has her struggles🥺 but knows it's ADHD, it's the bitchy comments she gets from work colleagues regarding being disorganised, that hurts me for her..Incidentally they know she has it grrrrr.. Anyway, thank you for this, you are most definitely not alone ❤
Please don't go private, its what this government want. You've paid into the NHS and you are entitled to a diagnosis from them. You KNOW you have ADHD so accept that and forgive yourself for that. Also tell those around you so they'll understand. Your official diagnosis will come 😊
Listen, I am 100% with you on this BUT.. if this were just depression we were talking about, “accept it and tell everyone you’re depressed” isn’t necessarily the best advice.
I’m looking for a local therapist I can talk to in person because I think that will help but sometimes you need medication. Imagine finding something that changes my life for the better and knowing it was always available but I had to wait an arbitrary 7 years just to “stand my ground”
I don’t know what I’m going to do yet but sticking it to the government it certainly not going to motivate my choice
Please be aware that a lot of private doctors/therapist diagnoses are not recognised by the NHS. So be careful if you go down that road.
I hear what you’re saying but please appreciate how damaging it can be to be so dismissive of private health. It would never be my first choice but there are instances in which the nhs is so broken, it can’t help
@maria You’re entitled to your opinion but not all private health companies are bad because they make a profit. Particularly in mental health, you’d be surprised at the number of psychiatrists that work for private companies alongside their NHS work. It’s not a black and white issue. And if someone has the means to pay and reduce the waiting list for others that don’t, then I really don’t see the problem. Plus getting a diagnosis is so much more than just getting a label for something - it opens up a whole world of pathways and treatment options that would never be available to someone who is self-diagnosed
I’m so sorry. You have hidden it very well as we do.
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