Why You Should Correct Your Brother w/ Fr. Gregory Pine, OP
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- Опубліковано 11 вер 2024
- In this video, Fr. Gregory unpacks a favorite theme of his: Fraternal Correction. What is it? Why is it important? And how can it help you grow in holiness? Watch this video to find out!
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I was at Mass on Sunday and I corrected a family behind me when their child was playing a Sonic game (I could tell by the distinct noises from the rings he collects). All I did was look over their way in a loving manner that said, “this is a distraction”. A minute later the game was put up. During the sign of peace, the child was very happy and hugging their mother that corrected him.
Good morning Father Pine.
Your podcast this morning is very timely. Yesterday my adult son and his guy friend announced their engagement.
Please, please, please pray for the situation.
I Thank you for your thoughts on fraternal correction. My motivations are love.
I'm concerned about our eternal souls.
Blessed be God forever.!
It's your son so most likely you are motivated by love.
You can love your son and always be there for him, but you can not support his Sin, and you must not attend the “wedding” should it occur. Not out of malice, but out of love.
If he/they demand complete acceptance, then, it follows, they must completely accept your faith .... they cannot? As your faith is less optional than their lifestyle choices, it may be a matter of remaining a
3dimensional, utterly human figure to them, as much as possible, not becoming the 2D scapegoat that strengthens their bond and counterfeit identity.
They already know the Bible stance on infidelity to Divine boundaries. We cannot give in to the demand that eternal verities to mirror social trends, we have to love them and take temporary leave sometimes. There is a grief process to this death of hopes and dreams.
(Imo only), you don't have to argue, just light your lamp, pray and wait(the hardest part) for discernment, and Divine Guidance, for some or all.
(My best friend, way back from college, is dating a trans. and one child of mine is best friends and housesharing with a trans. for example, so imo, we are there with Christ mingling with the habitués of the Tavern. We are post Christendom, and have come full circle back to the exhilarating and confronting days of the Apostles (imo, again)
God Bless
@@veronica_._._._
Just now seeing this.Thank you for your kind wisdom.
May God Bless you for your kindness and charitable thoughts.
@@veronica8061 You're very welcome, l know as a parent and more personally as someone who once did it myself, that turning away from the faith is a hardest trial on a parent, the fact that l can't apologise to my parents grieves me, never give up hope.
God bless you Father. Thank you for everything you do. I feel like I am on a Father Pine binge right now. Absolutely love your content. The Holy Spirit is assuredly workig through you.
Thank you father, this was very timely for me. I have a friend who was a cradle Catholic and recently came back to the church. She has either forgotten a lot or wasn’t properly catechised in her early years. I just explained to her that even though Catholics can now eat meat on Fridays (which she does), we are to do some other form of penance in remembrance of our Lord’s suffering. This is something that does matter to me. I was met with an icy silence and I got the feeling she either didn’t believe what I was saying or she felt it was too scrupulous. So I followed up with an email and attached an excellent article written by a Marian priest on the topic. I truly care about her spiritual growth and corrected with as much gentleness I could. But I haven’t heard from her in a few days since and began having doubts, wondering if I should have stayed silent.
Prayers of gratitude for your preaching and for your progression toward sainthood said for you today, and Thank you Father for those said for me.
I've had many occasions where I was given the opportunity to express to someone that their behavior is self destructive and they always reply with, "You're judging me." Even though confronting a person about their negative behavior is not judging them our society has been set on a course where such things are perceived as judgement. So as long as their behavior isn't negatively affecting my life I don't say a thing and take steps to distance myself from that person
I’ve been discerning how to offer correction to my fellow brother and sister, and it is hard. But the more I love them, the more likely I am to correct them in their sinful ways.
Prayed for you and all the Godsplaining crew this morning at Mass, Fr. Gregory. Keep up the great work! (and you did the head bop thing at the beginning again; love the quirks)
Very nice, Fr. Pine. Your advice is very good and the world would be a much better place if we all followed it. Fraternal correction at the appropriate time out of love, not ego, is the way to go.
Good morning,
This is very opportune since, since I personally. got into an argument with my sister and sadly lost my temper. I don't regret getting into the argument itself, I definitely let my myself not be complete witness to Christ. May God let me learn how to better correct my sister
Depending on your sister's temperament, it may be better to demonstrate correction through action or indirectly
I like that Father Pine mentioned that we will always have some impure intentions. I have difficulty when people confront me with my sins or personality flaws. It takes humility to accept correction even when delivered harshly. I sometimes want to blame the other person for being too harsh. The truth hurts and is humbling. I have difficulty accepting fraternal correction.
I get super annoyed by people who constantly correct others but become very angry if you tell them they are wrong.
Run from these people who get angry when you correct them. Especially at this point in time. They may retaliate at you, using any agenda or excuse against you, for their perceived offenses against them. These people are blind and cannot be told the truth, but only can be shown the truth.
@@y267y8 Sometimes I am at that person who is hurt by the truth or offended.
The people cannot stand are those that are brutally honest with others but they become livid if anyone corrects them in anyway.
It seems so easy to be blind.
No one can tell you anything.
God shows His greatest compassion to the most obstinate sinners.
@@kurtparker888 it can be easy to think you are only your flaws. It is frustrating that I'm imperfect
I have trouble knowing how to correct people too, so I don't do it often. I think I will only do that if I recognize that I really love the person, not just because I feel like I have to. A few years ago I would have been a bit more open about correction simply because I never heard a lot of people telling each other about right from wrong, so I figured people just weren't hearing it and at least needed to hear what's right being said by someone. But now I don't know, maybe I will just see in my heart whether I am saying something because I love this person and think it will help them or because I feel like I have to.
I also sometimes feel the need to correct someone, because if I do not, I feel that I am being lenient with them, and when I am lenient with others, I often see myself being lenient with myself, and not holding myself to a higher standard. But then when I am more strict with myself, I find it harder to just be loving with others.
It's a difficult thing to figure out for sure, so all these things could be playing into how people are treating you, if that helps.
@@andrewkelly2028 I shy away from correction because I may have impure motives and I all around feel uncomfortable with correcting others. I hate being corrected but I should not
Thanks Fr. Pine with Aquinas
I do agree with what you say, a great take and not easy especially when you see something out of someone that's totally confronting your moral principles and faith in God. For me not to judge, as Jesus says "don't judge and you won't be judged", doesn't mean not to correct or do what is right to love and save others, in fact judging someone means you condemn but you don't do anything or don't want the person to be healed or saved. I believe we have to be responsible, and that includes asking others to be responsible and aware of the things harmful to others and their own bodies and souls.
God bless and Merry Christmas Fr. Pine and Matt. 🎄
Golden! “Fr Pine with Aquinas” 😂
thanks be to God for your free spiritual direction 🙏
thank you so much. God bless you Fr Pine
Thank you so much Fr Pine. I have a situation involving my actual younger brother who stole the Christmas gift I bought him without permission. I’m trying to reprimand him and tell him that it is wrong and this video was really timely
Most people are too preoccupied with fraternal correction as a mechanism of controlling others. I see this abused more than used well in Christian communities.
Amen. People can use fraternal correction as an excuse to bully, control, and criticize others. Some people become so preoccupied with other people's sins yet take no time reflect on themselves. I notice people can be especially harsh when practicing fraternal correction when people struggle with sexual sins
@@matthewjoseph9897 I definitely think it is necessary with self destructive behaviour and behavior harmful to others. I always wonder if fraternal correction is needed for much more personal sins.
It is very humbling to be subject to fraternal correction.
I often feel sad, defensive, vulnerable, etc when corrected.
Some people can be rather harsh with correction.
I'm too timid to bluntly correct others
Thank you, Father, for your explanation! :)
This was amazingly helpful!!! Thank you 🙏
Very helpful.
I work in a "entertainment venue" where everyone uses the Lord's name in vain and the "f" word, like it's nothing. It's just accepted. A priest in confession, told me that I was not responsible for "their sin" and to be careful about correcting them lest I loose my job. But what about defending Jesus' name?? Does this talk apply to my situation?? I'm really concerned about Jesus "spitting me out"
I feel sister, this happened to me many times and I felt as if I was being a coward for not defending the Lord’s name. Something I understood was to talk privately with the person saying that and tell them that that’s an offensive slur to your faith. It might feel embarrassing but you could do it. I would say too (I’m no one to say this) but change of jobs might be a better thing to do, bcuz I’m sure there’s more stuff that goes on there that might be against Catholic social teaching. You know pray for them but also don’t expose yourself to this type of environment if not your subconscious will think that using the Lord’s name in vain “isn’t the big of a deal” and worse things could follow. God bless and I hope that helps!
You might have to get out of there - if possible. Homer said that "I'm a part of all that I have met," which means their attitudes will rub off on you. Even St. Theresa of Avilla, doctor of the church, realized that she had to break off a friendship that would have imperiled her soul. Ultimately the company we keep will convert us, or we will convert them.
God Bless you Linda.
I'm a coward and have the words to say to my coworker with similar abuse of God's name, but have not said them. I want to say, ' hey, I hope you're having a good day..jusy wanting to let you know that I'm Catholiic, and when I hear someone using Jesus or God, it deeply offends God and hurts me too. I just wanted to let you know'
And then just leave it at rhat, no attacks, no defensive speeches.
What I do do however when someone yells out the Lord's name in vain, I pray this payer in my heart after their exclaimation.
"Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me a sinner"
Or I'll pray, 'Oh God, have mercy on me a sinner"
Absolutely awesome, truly loving🙏❤😇
I haven't attended church in about 20 yrs. The last 3 yrs or so I have been on a journey. I have found a small Russian Orthodox Church in my community. The people are nice and I really enjoy the liturgy. But I'm having an inner struggle because I want to be a part of this church and I know what will be required of me to join this church. I don't know if I'm willing to do it. I love the Orthodox liturgy and I really like the Patriarch of Moscow.
Excellent presentation Fr. Greg!
Read the Baltimore Catechism. one of the Spiritual Works of Mercy is to "Admonish the Sinner." You do someone a huge favor simply by telling him "You know that God's gonna get you for that!"
Love this man! God Bless.
I needed to hear this. Thank you.
My brother does this WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY to much. Its to the point where i kind of hate him. (Yes, i know thats bad) I gulp at this concept because of that. Good video anyway
Oh I have dealt with people like that. They tell everyone around them what they need to fix or what they are doing wrong. I feel threatened, intimidated, and vulnerable around these personality types. I'm usually embarrassed by having flaws being pointed out.
When confronted with the chance of correcting a person I usually ask myself the following: am I personally involved in the matter?
You leave no option for dealing with evil sadistic people who must be removed from our lives.
Correct them.
@@josephjackson1956 They can’t be corrected. Relationships with them need to be severed.
This is great!
🙏
Thank you Father. Also Please put a link to your podcast Father, the one you do with the other Dominican friars.
I've been trying to look it up on UA-cam and all sorts of pages come up but not the one you mentioned
What about unequal jerarquical position?
What should I do when I see people chewing cough drops/gum during mass? I know there’s a 1 hour fast rule before Communion. Once I passed a note to a person telling them not to chew/eat anything, and I later found out they are a diabetic. But other times, I just don’t know if I should speak up or not.
Don’t judge. Don’t presume. Don’t feel responsible for “saving their soul”. If you are this distracted by what people in church are doing, what is your purpose for being there? Immerse yourself in prayer. Practice humility and sincere kindness. Or, sit elsewhere. Make it YOUR personal responsibility to focus YOU on God!
Cough drops don't break the fast - they are medicines, not 'food'. In the church choir, we use them all the time, if we have a sore throat or just so that our voices sound at their best and we can prevent straining them. So there's no need to call someone out if they're using cough drops. They probably just have a sore throat, and it's fine to take sore throat medicine even during Mass. They might even take them so they don't cough and cause distraction to others.
Chewing gum, I have heard different opinions about whether it breaks the fast. Some say no, since you aren't actually swallowing it as food, others say yes. But all agree that at the very least, it breaks the 'spirit' of the law, and it's a bit rude and distracting. Our priest once addressed this very gently at a wedding: "...and just a reminder that gum should not be chewed during Mass," and then carried on, and that did the trick for the couple of people who were chewing it. There might be the odd person here or there who's chewing nicotine gum, which could be classed as medicine, but it's a bad idea since everyone's just going to assume it's regular gum and that you're just being disrespectful.
I don't think it's a great idea to say anything *during* Mass. One exception I think would be if someone was chewing gum, and was about to go to receive Communion - they've got to spit the gum out before they receive, no matter what, or else the Host will get stuck in the gum. I saw someone online suggest passing the person a tissue and whispering, "Oh, do you need a tissue for your gum?" in a friendly way. That might work. And perhaps if they were chewing gum, and the others around you were giving them dirty looks, pass them a tissue. Better that you do it in a friendly way with a smile than have other people be uncharitable to them.
But other than that? I probably wouldn't say anything, and err on the side of caution - maybe the person is diabetic, so needs to eat, for example. I try to assume the best of people with things like that. Maybe that's naive on my part, I don't know.
I particularly wouldn't say anything if it was a visitor to the church (say at a wedding where a lot of people won't be Catholic). They probably don't realise you can't eat and shouldn't chew gum during Mass, and would be mortified if they knew it was disrespectful. Since they're probably not Catholic, I'd focus my efforts after Mass on just being welcoming and friendly, smiling, asking if they enjoyed the Mass, and hopefully they'll want to come back. I'd hate if one of my non-Catholic friends went to a Mass, and the first thing someone said to them afterwards was, "Oh, why were you chewing gum?" If it was me, I'd be so embarrassed I might not want to come back.
Of course, this is all assuming that you don't know these people. If they are friends or family members, then you definitely have a responsibility to let them know not to eat or chew gum, and you'll know yourself whether they have a good reason to. And if you see them regularly at Mass, then it might be a good idea to say something to them, but again, I'd be careful in case they've got a good reason.
How do I correct my adult children that haven't been to confession in 2 years and they still receive communion every Sunday? I'm praying and making sacrifices for them. I even invited them to confession once.
You're so caring. I have family members who rarely or outright refuse to confess their sins through the sacrament of reconciliation. I never bring it up. I know they'll get defensive. Outwardly I'm worst than they are. I've committed public sins so I feel like I have no right to say anything to anyone.
Show them the teachings of the church through the catechism. Explain to them that what they're doing is a grievous sin, the sin of sacrilege. St Paul teaches that those who receive Our Lord in an unworthy state, eat and drink their own damnation. As their mother you must speak to them and asap for theirs and your own good. Have courage and show that you love your kids by speaking up and correcting them. God bless you.
@@St_AngusYoung I disagree. A parent’s responsibility is to raise their children in the Faith. Matters of the external forum, like a same-sex ‘marriage’, will require remonstrating with them as adults. Prying into matters of the internal forum with adult children is presumptuous and alienating.
@@ransomcoates546 her children are adults. She needs to talk to them and treat them as such. The more they continue to receive Our Lord unworthily, the more they disrespect him and the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist. They endanger their souls. It's good to pray for her kids but she also needs to correct them by talking to them about confession and worthy reception of Our Lord.
What about parents to adult children? Is that closer to fraternal correction?
Correctio Filialis?
Not why but when.
If you love your brother and sister, then you will feel compelled to correct their wrong ways toward repentance.
@@josephjackson1956 discern first.
According to these criteria, when would it ever be appropriate to rebuke a transgender person, or people in loving gay relationships?
Same question. My gqy friend took communion at a Catholic church last Christnas bc his church was closed for covid. Sadly, at the time I didn't realize how that was wrong and I was buried by my own mortal sins.
Two years later I see a transgender male ( obviously still female) at church with another female. Theore feminine female was fixing her mate's hair around her face. I dont know them but I'm a sinner. I'm not sure me saying hey here's probably not the place to flaunt your relationship would be good coming from me. I feel like the judge not lest ye be judged thing creeps up for me a lot.
"The Third Way" by Blackstone Films
We know your name😀😀☺️
So Father Gregory speaks German...
I'm afraid what you are suggesting is open to a lot of abuse. It is natural for family and close friends to comments and offer help when something does not look right within a close-knit family. So, there is no need for a Catholic fraternal correction! Spiritual advice, should it be necessary, should come from person's priest! You will open the floodgates of immature and narsistic individuals going round pocking their nose into other people's affairs! Every human being is created free by the Creator and is left to conduct their life as they see fit. If they happen to be Christians, then the Christian ethics in the New Testament and church teaching is sufficient to make them good! There is no need for the Catholic Church to sanction intruding into people's lives in the name of Christianity! It smacks of the dark times of the church,when she abused people under her care!
What type of abuse?
Some people enjoy or use fraternal correction as a way to shame others and put them down.
The truth is hard to swallow.
It challenges our fragile egos.
No matter how bluntly or harshly a person delivers some truth, it is important to be open to what they say
@@IONov990 Please read the full post, as initially only part of my response got published. I've just updated it.
@@Bullcutter I finished the reading the new posts. Do you think issues dealing with sexuality should only be dealt with by a priest
@@IONov990 Your question is not focused enough to have an answer! What kind of sexual issues are we talking about? For example, if sexual abuse is involved, then specialist psychologist and police will have to be involved. There is no room for fraternal stuff here! Can you see the dangers now? I think this young chap (who is boasting of doing a PhD!) has not thought this stuff through!
@@IONov990 No, each person had freedom to reject interference from another busybody (that is seemingly sanctioned by the Catholic Church!). The correct procedure is to ask one's priest for spiritual guidance. You also have the confession. One of the best ways of using this sacrament is to go to a completely unknown priest and confess there, if the issues are sensitive and you prefer not to tell your own parish priest.