This is horrifying. How is it that a country that claims to be so advanced and developed gets stuck on technicalities?? As a physician in a country that is considered third world this is unfathomable. In our healthcare system, if a baby is no longer alive, we induce. There’s no point in keeping them inside (and I do apologize for the way I am wording this). It’s basic medical knowledge. There’s risk of infection to the mother, as well as risk of severe bleeding. And if a pregnant woman comes to an ER severely bleeding, she is TOP priority for all medical personnel. Maternal deaths occur because of delayed attention to bleeding women. I am so sorry for the awful and cruel experiences you’ve endured Marlena. It is NOT okay. It is unacceptable. Sharing this must have been terribly difficult. Sending you lots of love 💗
THIS! So dangerous and just plain wrong. She could have developed sepsis and died All bc we live in a country where woman must be controlled and treated like second class citizens. I can't express the amount of frustration, horror, concern, and bleak, mind numbing sadness I feel today.
In Texas it is not against the law to have a D & C after a missed miscarriage. My daughter in law was given a medication to help with a tubal pregnancy and the baby had a heartbeat. In other states you can have full term abortions. I am sorry you had so much trouble. I am pro life and we vote for the people who represent us and our beliefs. I do believe all women having a miscarriage or a tubal pregnancy should be taken care of with compassion and love.
On December 30, 1992 i miscarried in the toilet, the only child i was ever able to conceive almost 32 years later and i still am traumatized by what i saw. Im so sorry you had to experience that. I hope you findsome sense of peace or healing in time. Sending love from a friend in a group that none of us every wanted to be in❤
Bless you for sharing such a difficult personal experience. You are so very correct about us all being a member of a club we had no intentions of being a part of. I experienced 4 miscarriages myself, one of which was a loss of twins at 16 weeks. I will never forget the wonderful care I received including the necessary D & C procedures I had. Sadly, with the incoming administration, the care I received will be a part of history because it will no longer be available to any woman. My heart is very heavy and broken because of this loss.
Thank you so incredibly much! This is beyond kind- so grateful! I'll keep speaking up as I never want to see women suffering or dying :( Sending you a massive hug xoxoxo
Sending you so much love, my friend. No one should ever have to go through what you went through. I know I've told you this before, but I'm so so sorry.
Firstly, don’t you ever apologize for choking up when you are talking about your child. I’m so sorry this has happened, and I think I speak for many of us when I say if there was any way we could fix this, we would. You’re very brave to talk openly about it, and there are many who need to hear it from someone who offers support as you have. I’ve been through it, and while the medical community was very kind, I felt so alone. People don’t know what to say, but I will say to you what I needed to hear. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m not a counselor, but I am a human being. I love you, and I hate that you’re hurting (physically, emotionally, and mentally.) Sometimes it helps to tell your story from the start to finish, maybe to someone who hasn’t heard it. That way you put it all out there, no matter how painful, and you can take a good look at it. There is no “right time” but when you’re ready, I’ll be there to listen. I wish those around me hadn’t been so afraid to say something, instead of just avoiding it. For me, it was the final chapter. We had been so careful, but it was the third time, and we had been advised that trying again would be dangerous. (We had one son, but even that pregnancy had been high risk.) Be kind to yourself.
😢❤. I’ve never heard anything like this about miscarriages, and had no clue how much pain, guilt, and shame a woman could feel as a result. Thank you for your vulnerability and strength in sharing such a raw subject. This is very eye opening! I wish you could have the longest and most comforting hug right now.
In tears, you have described exactly what happened to me many, many years ago, stuck on a Greek Island. Two British nurses found me & eventually the army flew me to mainland in a helicopter, best not talk about the Hospital. My partner & family couldn't understand completely because I couldn't explain the toilet incident without getting hysterical. I had another baby a boy & he is now an adult but part of me still resides on that Island. Sending Love from Scotland (new subscriber)
I honestly, genuinely LOVE that you as a creator are brave enough to offer the reach of your audience to someone in need. This is admirable and I am grateful that you are showing the world the beautifully awesome far reach of compassion. Bless you, dear one. 🙏
I am a Gynecologic Oncologist. The fact that you could not get a D&C approved by insurance is 100% wrong, Then, when you were bleeding and in pain, the fact that an on call Gyn did not do a D&C is 100% wrong. I cannot believe the inferior care that you have received.
May I ask you, since you are a professional in this particular field, was she denied because the medical term for a dilation and currettage is written as an "abortion"? When I went through a similar ordeal, my D&C was put down as an "abortion". I had already confirmed that my baby (15 weeks) had passed away.
Welcome to Texas! That is the hardest state to deal with. I have friends there and they are working furiously to get out because of this exact same issue. (Among other things of course).
Oh Marlena, I am SO,SO,SO very sorry for your loss and pain. Thank you for sharing such personal, traumatic,painful,heartbreaking experiences. God Bless you and your family🙏❤️
I understand, I had a miscarriage and had to flush it. I also went thru two miscarriages with my daughter and had to flush hers. It is a pain you never forget. Not only the physical pain but the emotional. My heart goes out to you Marlena.
Marlena. Thank you so much for sharing your story. My husband and I are childfree by choice, so I have never had any sort of similar experience. I am SO sorry you went through this, but I am so proud of you for using your voice to share what so many need to hear. You are changing lives, healing broken souls, and bringing awareness to a topic that is unknown for people who haven't gone through it. That is powerful. Thank you.
@@DMV8662 I will absolutely have zero regrets. We are LOVING of childfree life. Travel when we want, do what we want, in a very satisfying relationship, and so much more. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to believe that one can be totally fulfilled i life without children. I sure as heck am!
@@DMV8662hey. You have NO PLACE to be shaming any woman because they choose not to have children. How about we support one another instead if dragging them down!
I am so sorry about your son and the terrible treatment you received from our healthcare system. Losing a child is the absolute worst. I have lost two of my children, one recently in September. My heart goes out to you and your husband. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
My arms are wrapped so tightly around you Marlena. I hope you can feel them, and the love of your community. You are so brave, so strong and so incredible, that you can not only endure such horror and heartbreak, but be willing to share it, for the benefit of other women. We love and admire you. Sleep well at night, knowing you are a good person, a wonderful mother, and a role model to us all x
One of my daughters had a miscarriage and had similar happen. She got the fetus from the toilet and put them in a box and kept it for days until she was able to let go and bury them. It’s a very traumatic experience and I’m so sorry you went through that. Just know there are no right or wrong way to handle that situation and you did what u felt you needed to at that time. Sending love from Canada ❤
@@sharkgirlloveschewbareally? this woman is talking about a traumatic experience that her daughter sadly went through, and you’re trying to correct her on a technicality??? have some shame.
Marlena. Thank you for sharing this. It’s not lost on me that you shared this real life experience on this day. I see you and please know how worthy you are of having your needs met. 🧡
Using your voice and telling your story is not only brave and soul wrenching, it will help other women. We have to look out for each other and stand strong together as many are trying to take away our rights for healthcare. I cried through your story as I could feel your pain. Telling your story is turning your pain into purpose to help other women. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. With your new brand launch, you will be helping so many in countless ways. Sending you hugs and praying you experience the grace you need as you live with these difficult memories. 🙏🏻☮️
I am so sorry for everything you experienced. That’s so awful and so heartbreaking. I applaud you for having the strength to share such a terrible and sensitive experience. ❤
I am a nurse and I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I can’t make a doctor do something for pain, but I can at least do my best to make you comfortable. I’m sorry that that Nurse left you sitting and would not help change or clean you they should be there for emotional support And do as much as they can to make you comfortable again I’m so sorry that that happened to you
Marlena, I feel your pain. I am 39 and have a toddler, but also want another child. I had a miscarriage in February at 7 weeks and another one in July at 11 weeks. Its so difficult to deal with emotionally, and ontop of it all the medical followups. Its so discouraging to try again, but how can you not give it one more try? Only women who have gone through it understand the feeling.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I also had a miscarriage at 20 weeks back in March. The most awful thing I've ever had to go through. I still think and grieve about my baby everyday. Crying as I'm typing this. I hope you're okay. Sending hugs from across the pond. X ❤️
Thank you for having the courage to share your story. No one should have to go through what you and your husband have experienced. Sending you a big hug.
Oh Marlena, I am so deeply sorry you had to go through such horrific painful miscarriages when all of this trauma was preventable. Thanks for sharing and spreading the real life experiences of women!
I’m so sorry you went through this. Our healthcare system is so far behind the times when it comes to women’s healthcare. I hope you have a wonderful therapist who is supporting you through grief and trauma. Sending healing. 💛
It isn't our healthcare system as much as it is our political system. Healthcare and politics should be completely disconnected other than for providing all citizens with healthcare that is needed. Every wealthy nation in the world does this for their citizens except the US. :(
I too, have gone through a miscarriage and received terrible care. Marlena, thank you for sharing such a personal story and giving those perspective that NEEDED it. I wish I could cry and give you a hug in person. Sending love and strength ❤
I am very sorry for your losses and unnecessary pain and humiliation. The fight we have in front of us is a dangerous one. I am here for you and for any other woman going through this terrifying experience. I cannot write any longer. I am genuinely sorry.
Sending you so much love, Marlena. I have been endured two miscarriages (several years ago now) - - our stories are so similar, so I completely understand the pain and trauma. Nobody should have to go through that. I am so sorry for you and anyone else who has been through this. It is brave to talk about this and I really believe it is helpful for others to feel less alone, thank you for that. ❤
As a mother who is freshly out of domestic violence and had to fight almost two years to get back my boys through the family court, I know exactly how it feels to loose your own flesh and blood. I am so sorry for your loss. ❤
I am so sorry Marlena…. For your loss and the horrific events that you had to go through. You are such an amazing woman to wear your heart on your sleeve and share your stories with the world. Hoping that you can help someone who is in similar situations. I will pray for healing and joy in your life.
Massive hugs to you for every baby that you no longer have earthside and for the joy robber in your motherhood journey. I never knew to what extent birth trauma existed until I entered motherhood myself and it deeply saddens me that so many of us are failed more often than not. Thank you for being a voice to loss mamas. That level of transparency and vulnerability is truly difficult and a testament to your character. Wishing you medical care that is intentional, present, considerate, kind, and compassionate from here on out. ❤
You are the bravest person I’ve ever seen on YT. This is incredibly vulnerable and I can’t think of anyone IRL or online who would admit feelings of shame and remorse while alone, in a horrifying position to millions of followers. Wow. You are an icon for all women. Women are a different species of strong. Thank you for being real and authentic. We need that more than anything right now. The day a monster ripping women of their human rights is voted into office. THANK YOU YOU ARE THE BIG SISTER WE ALL NEED🙏🏻. You are so loved and appreciated ❤.
I ask because I’m not sure when Trump ever said he would sign an abortion ban, when in fact he said he would not… I understand you prob disagree but I think ab0rtion is not a federal issue that should be blanked for the whole country because it should be held at state levels so the community can vote on it. There is no written constitutional right that states it’s a basic human right for a women to have a choice on terminating her pregnancy(although medical necessity is different and should not be considered the same thing if it’s a medically viable baby just imo). So, as a example places like Minnesota are are doing it in all stages of pregnancy, this going to the states has actually allowed states like Minnesota to have looser ab0rtion laws that prior which to women who want that it’s better for them. I just don’t understand how so many are falling for the fear mongering going on around this subject and don’t even go study the laws and understand what it means. Many believe we also live in a democracy when in fact we live in a constitutional republic but go figure
This is so devastating, I’m so sorry Marlena. I know this has to be incredibly difficult to share and I appreciate this so much. It’s hard enough to just go through this period but to be fighting against these laws and also receiving horrible care? It’s traumatizing to the extreme.
Marlena, What a brave, brave woman for sharing your story. As a woman who trained as a midwife many moons ago, I'm appalled at the lack of care you received during the miscarriages of your precious little ones. From this trauma however, is blossoming, a beautiful humble, brave, emphatic and strong woman. Thank you
Wow, my heart is broken for you, Marlena 💔 What an absolutely horrible thing to experience. I live in Canada and feel very fortunate that there are no laws prohibiting D&Cs. I hope you find healing somehow, and your daughter will eventually understand and be proud she has such a strong mama who is willing to speak out about something so important ❤
Oh sweetheart, I’m so very sorry for all that you’ve endured 💔 Praying for you dear one. I had a miscarriage 40 years ago and I still remember them showing me my son in a tube. I was stunned/shocked and out of my head with grief. It haunts me because I don’t know what they did with him. And somehow you go on. I wish I could reach through this screen and give you a great big hug. You take care of yourself, Marlena … I’m praying for you and your family!
Oh, Marlena….I am heartbroken for you and your husband. So sorry to hear of the trauma you endured and for your horrific hospital experience. May God wrap his arms around you and comfort you💔
Marlena, I’m sending you the biggest hug. I’m sorry that you went through this trauma. It’s something that shouldn’t have occurred,with our health system. God bless you and your husband.
Marlena, you are deserving of empathy and you should not feel otherwise. If your devastating story makes any one think that you are seeking sympathy by sharing your personal and unfathomable experience... they are truly unworthy of your consideration and incapable of basic human emotion. My heart goes out to you and your family. ❤
Oh Marlena 😢😢 my heart is so broken for you. To go through that once would be horrifying but multiple times is absolutely unimaginable. I hope you find peace and healing someday. You are a warrior to say the least.
I am so sorry for your loss and horrific experience-and the unnecessary fear caused by a terrible health system. Please keep speaking out and telling your story-women’s’ lives depend on it. Much love and sympathy.
Thank you for your courage in sharing your story . I’m so sorry for your loss . It’s heartbreaking that in 2024 , any woman has to endure this kind of trauma.
I have been watching you for years and you’re such a sweet genuine person. You had me in tears with this video but yet still you’re strong. You inspire me.
My heart just breaks for you. Child loss changes you. My daughter was 21. But that loss in your voice, that ache in your soul, we all have that love. It's not the best club to be a member of, but we support each other.
You’re not alone. I just had miscarriage too this time last week and i am still going through the hardest time right now. We will be ok and my heart goes out to you too x
I feel like I have been here from when you first started doing you tube at home in the bathroom - and have loved you ever since. Marlena, words cannot even express how sorry I am to hear of your journey on this, I know you have been through hell and back. But yet your strength and courage and voice is inspiring to those who need it most- thank you for always being real,honest,loving and kind. This might not be everyone’s journey but for those who it is- they don’t feel alone. Sending you the biggest hug, lots of love, and always here to support you and the family.❤
I’m so sorry for your loss. The same thing happened to me 13th years ago. I felt the same way on that toilet and not even know I was pregnant. thanks to my friend that was there to help me and call 911 and help with my son that was 5 at the time. My heart goes out to all the women that have to go thought.
I’m in Texas too. I carried my son for 28 weeks and delivered him stillborn in July 2023. I knew what his prognosis would be (at 25 weeks officially) and I decided to carry him until the very end. My OB/GYN kept pushing me to go out of state to have an abortion and I kept feeling his little kicks and I said that I couldn’t do that to him. After my cesarean I held his little body and I kissed his little face and he had the most perfect little feet. And he had the longest legs for being so small. I just told him that I was so sorry and that I loved him so much. And I am grateful that all he knew was love. I can’t watch but I wanted to support. I did read above and I am so very sorry for your losses Marlena and family. My first baby was ectopic. And I have one gorgeous rainbow boy. I’m so blessed to have him. Sending lots of love.
Our second son was stillborn at 30 weeks. I felt the same way, choosing to have a natural labor and birth. If the only thing I would ever be able to do for my son was deliver him then I was going to make sure he was born with love and dignity.
@@betsybabf748 I’m so sorry that we are sisters in this awful experience. I can endure and heal from my heartbreak. But I will always remember his kicks, his dances to New Kids on the Block and his love of kitty purrs on my belly. It was and is worth every tear I still shed. ❤️🩹 sending you lots of love and hugs from one stillborn warrior mama to another.
I'm really sorry. The same thing happened to me years ago in California. I felt horrible because I was alone...my partner couldn't be with me for the actual D & C. I can't imagine the horror of moving through protesters accusing you of killing babies. I'm so, so sorry for your pain. At least sharing it must give you a sense of solidarity. Thank you.
I’m at a loss for words. I’m so sorry, Marlena. Please don’t ever apologize; you’re such a strong mama. My heart goes out to you; I’ll be praying for you and your family.
As a woman having suffered a miscarriage with my first pregnancy many many years ago, my heart broke with yours as you shared your story. I know you don't want sympathy but I'm so very sorry for what you were forced to go through. It's unlike any experience a woman will go through. It's a loss regardless of what anyone else says. You have a heart of gold and your daughter is lucky to have you as her mother 🫶🏼
I feel so heard, there are no words that can explain that horrifying scenario in the bathroom when you pass the baby you so much wanted in your arms. I applaude you for having the strength to vocalize that horrifying experience for all of us. I was reliving my experience through hearing yours, crying tears of pain with you. I also had to have a D&C after because I had remains stuck in my cervix causing severe pain, the worst I’ve ever felt in my life. I was able to have that choice, I hate that people try to take that choice away from the woman who is going through the trauma. That insurance has the power to deny. It’s insanity. Marlena, thank you. Truly. Thank you for your vulnerability. ❤ Thank you for your bravery to tell your son’s story.
Oh my gosh Marlena, my heart is absolutely shattered for you! 😭 I also had a miscarriage 6 years ago but I still cannot comprehend how absolutely traumatizing this specifically must have been for you. And to have the courage to share this while having to relive it just shows what an incredible and strong woman you are! I've been following you for about 15 years and it feels like I can just reach through the screen and give you the biggest most loving hug in the world! You truly are an inspiration 🌷
Love and light, sweet girl. You are beyond brave...so vulnerable...so heartbreaking. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this. What happened to you and how the medical field handled this, should NEVER have happened. What is happening to our country and healthcare? Praying for you and your family.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. It is heartbreaking what is happening in this country right now with women’s healthcare. Thank you for sharing your trauma. It helps open the door to these discussions that are so important and negatively affecting women every single day in the USA right now. Praying for you and your family 🙏🏼❤️
Marlena, I watched your video and literally felt the pain of your ordeal. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I can't imagine the pain and suffering you went through. I am sending you love and hugs but mainly prayers. I pray God gives you comfort and healing. My deepest sympathies.
The pain that comes with miscarriages is something I can’t imagine. I’m so so deeply sorry for the pain that you have experienced. It’s not right that we as a country aren’t able to understand that these women want these pregnancies. It’s not black & white like these poorly educated politicians think. My heart goes out to you & all the women that have gone through this horrific experience! I’m sorry we weren’t on the right side of history yesterday! ❤
That and it was men who decided for American women which is disgusting. Literally the whole world was left in shock when the US rolled back women's rights. Luckily here in the UK our government at the time spoke immediately and promised our rights would never be reversed in the UK.
You will see your son again in Heaven. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you complained and someone from the hospital reached out to you . Big Hugs Marlena. Prayers of healing.
I’ve never been through this but I cried with you. I’m so sorry for your loss and your pain. ❤️ Thank you for sharing and I hope you feel the love of your community!
Wow! I don’t know you personally and I’ll be honest I follow your content only from time to time but this testimonial absolutely broke my heart and brought me to tears. What a brave woman you are! I’m absolutely horrified by what happened to you, I cannot even imagine how you felt and what’s in your heart. You have all my respect and admiration and I’m sending you lots of love from a fellow Texan who plans to leave this crazy state that has changed so much for the worse. Stay strong and love that sweet girl to the fullest ❤️❤️❤️
You’re brave to put yourself out like this to help others feel less alone in this crazy country of ours. You’re a beautiful soul. Can’t wait for Makeup Geek to come back. Despite the mood of the video-you look stunning. What’s on your eyes?!
Sending big hugs and prayers. It makes me really sad you were treated that way. No woman losing their baby deserves to be treated that way. My heart goes out to you and your family. 🙏
I'm so sorry, Marlena. Unfortunately I'm apart of this "club". Just when I started to accept the fact that I just won't be a mom, I found out I was pregnant with my little boy (now 4 yrs old). I was incredibly fortunate to become pregnant again quickly with our second (he's 3yrs old now). When I lost my mom this past year (she literally meant everything to me), my boys were the reason I got out of bed every day. My sister had gotten pregnant and was about 6 months along when she found out she lost her daughter. My heart breaks that she had to deliver her and go through that without our mom. I'm sending so much love to you and your family ❤ Klarissa
Marlena! I’ve never wanted to reach through the screen and hug you so much. I was moved to tears by your story. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, more than once. No woman should ever have to. Thank you for sharing, I know it wasn’t easy. Sending the utmost love for you and your family ❤
I‘m a mother living in Europe and I‘m so horrified for all (american) women having to go through this negligence due to mysoginistic and inhuman law practices. Losing a child is traumatic enough, I could not fathom how hard it must be to get treated like a second-class citizen on top of it. Thank you for being so brave as to sharing your story so publicly for more awareness on this topic, you are a Hero in my eyes❤. I wonder how many more women must suffer and die in a country that claims to be so advanced before women will vote united for their rights 😢
Miscarriage is not categorized the same as abortion at all. Our medical system sucks and is absolutely corrupt. Miscarriage care has nothing to do with abortions. They are quite opposite. We can't cry for our children and at the same time advocate that they be unalived at our convenience. That would be lunacy.
@@KarinaSankarsingh-vi9ribut your maternal deaths are statistically higher. It is awful what some are going through. We have to move on and demand a better health care for women men would not put up with it !
This is absolutely horrific for you to have to have gone through. I had a miscarriage in 1989 and still remember the pain. I was fortunate cause i was able to get that dnc. You keep speaking out Marlena cause people need to know the horror we go through having miscarriages let alone now
I’m so very sorry for your loss! I miscarried 2 times before my son was born. I was blessed enough to have passed all of the product of conception each time. I truly had no idea this was an issue. They had discussed D and C after each time but Sonos showed I passed everything. I didn’t know that they considered D and C post miscarriage as illegal. The baby has already died. There’s no life. Why would they consider it as an elective abortion when it’s technically called “spontaneous abortion”?? How awful!! Thank you for sharing this.
Marlena I have been watching your videos since before Makeup Geek. I am slightly older than you but I have always looked up to you . Your such a kind and resilient woman. I'm so sorry you have had so much trauma. God bless you sweetie
This is horrifying. How is it that a country that claims to be so advanced and developed gets stuck on technicalities?? As a physician in a country that is considered third world this is unfathomable. In our healthcare system, if a baby is no longer alive, we induce. There’s no point in keeping them inside (and I do apologize for the way I am wording this). It’s basic medical knowledge. There’s risk of infection to the mother, as well as risk of severe bleeding. And if a pregnant woman comes to an ER severely bleeding, she is TOP priority for all medical personnel. Maternal deaths occur because of delayed attention to bleeding women.
I am so sorry for the awful and cruel experiences you’ve endured Marlena. It is NOT okay. It is unacceptable. Sharing this must have been terribly difficult. Sending you lots of love 💗
THIS! So dangerous and just plain wrong. She could have developed sepsis and died All bc we live in a country where woman must be controlled and treated like second class citizens. I can't express the amount of frustration, horror, concern, and bleak, mind numbing sadness I feel today.
The US is far from advanced and developed .. so so far
In Texas it is not against the law to have a D & C after a missed miscarriage. My daughter in law was given a medication to help with a tubal pregnancy and the baby had a heartbeat. In other states you can have full term abortions. I am sorry you had so much trouble. I am pro life and we vote for the people who represent us and our beliefs. I do believe all women having a miscarriage or a tubal pregnancy should be taken care of with compassion and love.
@@AlBundyy how dare you! What a despicable comment.
@@AlBundyy I bet you are a man
On December 30, 1992 i miscarried in the toilet, the only child i was ever able to conceive almost 32 years later and i still am traumatized by what i saw. Im so sorry you had to experience that. I hope you findsome sense of peace or healing in time. Sending love from a friend in a group that none of us every wanted to be in❤
Oh I’m so sorry. Blessings to you.
I'm sorry to hear this Sandy. I hope you find peace and healing.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Bless you for sharing such a difficult personal experience. You are so very correct about us all being a member of a club we had no intentions of being a part of. I experienced 4 miscarriages myself, one of which was a loss of twins at 16 weeks. I will never forget the wonderful care I received including the necessary D & C procedures I had. Sadly, with the incoming administration, the care I received will be a part of history because it will no longer be available to any woman. My heart is very heavy and broken because of this loss.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. 😢
Thank you for your story about miscarriage in Texas. This complex topic is not well understood by many. Your voice is invaluable.
Thank you so incredibly much! This is beyond kind- so grateful! I'll keep speaking up as I never want to see women suffering or dying :(
Sending you a massive hug xoxoxo
Is the situation different in Texas ? @ktypnts I’m not in the US
THIS is why kindness is so important!!! We never know what someone is going through or has been through ❤❤ I’m so sorry Marlena.
Sending you so much love, my friend. No one should ever have to go through what you went through. I know I've told you this before, but I'm so so sorry.
Firstly, don’t you ever apologize for choking up when you are talking about your child. I’m so sorry this has happened, and I think I speak for many of us when I say if there was any way we could fix this, we would. You’re very brave to talk openly about it, and there are many who need to hear it from someone who offers support as you have. I’ve been through it, and while the medical community was very kind, I felt so alone. People don’t know what to say, but I will say to you what I needed to hear. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m not a counselor, but I am a human being. I love you, and I hate that you’re hurting (physically, emotionally, and mentally.) Sometimes it helps to tell your story from the start to finish, maybe to someone who hasn’t heard it. That way you put it all out there, no matter how painful, and you can take a good look at it. There is no “right time” but when you’re ready, I’ll be there to listen.
I wish those around me hadn’t been so afraid to say something, instead of just avoiding it. For me, it was the final chapter. We had been so careful, but it was the third time, and we had been advised that trying again would be dangerous. (We had one son, but even that pregnancy had been high risk.) Be kind to yourself.
I've had a few losses as well in my life. Very sorry. I can't say time heals it.
😢❤. I’ve never heard anything like this about miscarriages, and had no clue how much pain, guilt, and shame a woman could feel as a result. Thank you for your vulnerability and strength in sharing such a raw subject. This is very eye opening! I wish you could have the longest and most comforting hug right now.
I have no words….I’m so sorry 🥺
In tears, you have described exactly what happened to me many, many years ago, stuck on a Greek Island. Two British nurses found me & eventually the army flew me to mainland in a helicopter, best not talk about the Hospital. My partner & family couldn't understand completely because I couldn't explain the toilet incident without getting hysterical. I had another baby a boy & he is now an adult but part of me still resides on that Island. Sending Love from Scotland (new subscriber)
I honestly, genuinely LOVE that you as a creator are brave enough to offer the reach of your audience to someone in need. This is admirable and I am grateful that you are showing the world the beautifully awesome far reach of compassion. Bless you, dear one. 🙏
I am a Gynecologic Oncologist. The fact that you could not get a D&C approved by insurance is 100% wrong, Then, when you were bleeding and in pain, the fact that an on call Gyn did not do a D&C is 100% wrong. I cannot believe the inferior care that you have received.
May I ask you, since you are a professional in this particular field, was she denied because the medical term for a dilation and currettage is written as an "abortion"? When I went through a similar ordeal, my D&C was put down as an "abortion". I had already confirmed that my baby (15 weeks) had passed away.
@@kgrosso21d&c and abortion are THE SAME THING
Welcome to Texas! That is the hardest state to deal with. I have friends there and they are working furiously to get out because of this exact same issue. (Among other things of course).
My first D&C in Washington I had no issues and got in less than 2 days when they knew I needed one
@@MarlenaStell same. I'm in California it was an emergency situation.
Oh Marlena,
I am SO,SO,SO very sorry for your loss and pain.
Thank you for sharing such personal, traumatic,painful,heartbreaking experiences.
God Bless you and your family🙏❤️
I understand, I had a miscarriage and had to flush it. I also went thru two miscarriages with my daughter and had to flush hers. It is a pain you never forget. Not only the physical pain but the emotional. My heart goes out to you Marlena.
Marlena. Thank you so much for sharing your story. My husband and I are childfree by choice, so I have never had any sort of similar experience. I am SO sorry you went through this, but I am so proud of you for using your voice to share what so many need to hear. You are changing lives, healing broken souls, and bringing awareness to a topic that is unknown for people who haven't gone through it. That is powerful. Thank you.
@@DMV8662seriously. Mind your business😮. She said she’s childless by choice. Do you understand you mořôon. You baboon.
@@DMV8662 I will absolutely have zero regrets. We are LOVING of childfree life. Travel when we want, do what we want, in a very satisfying relationship, and so much more. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to believe that one can be totally fulfilled i life without children. I sure as heck am!
@@DMV8662you shouldn’t speak to a situation you don’t know the details of
@@DMV8662hey. You have NO PLACE to be shaming any woman because they choose not to have children. How about we support one another instead if dragging them down!
I am so sorry about your son and the terrible treatment you received from our healthcare system. Losing a child is the absolute worst. I have lost two of my children, one recently in September. My heart goes out to you and your husband. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
My arms are wrapped so tightly around you Marlena. I hope you can feel them, and the love of your community. You are so brave, so strong and so incredible, that you can not only endure such horror and heartbreak, but be willing to share it, for the benefit of other women. We love and admire you. Sleep well at night, knowing you are a good person, a wonderful mother, and a role model to us all x
Such a beautiful comment.
One of my daughters had a miscarriage and had similar happen. She got the fetus from the toilet and put them in a box and kept it for days until she was able to let go and bury them. It’s a very traumatic experience and I’m so sorry you went through that. Just know there are no right or wrong way to handle that situation and you did what u felt you needed to at that time. Sending love from Canada ❤
Baby. She got the baby from the toilet.
@@sharkgirlloveschewbareally? this woman is talking about a traumatic experience that her daughter sadly went through, and you’re trying to correct her on a technicality??? have some shame.
@@hailee4261oh grow up stop being soft
You are so brave to share, this is so important to hear your story. Thank you
You’ve helped so many people today Marlena. You should be very proud 💙💙
Marlena. Thank you for sharing this. It’s not lost on me that you shared this real life experience on this day.
I see you and please know how worthy you are of having your needs met.
🧡
❤❤ As a nurse, mom, woman…my heart aches for what you had to go through! I’m so sorry. I pray for your healing and light in your life!
Using your voice and telling your story is not only brave and soul wrenching, it will help other women. We have to look out for each other and stand strong together as many are trying to take away our rights for healthcare. I cried through your story as I could feel your pain. Telling your story is turning your pain into purpose to help other women. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. With your new brand launch, you will be helping so many in countless ways. Sending you hugs and praying you experience the grace you need as you live with these difficult memories. 🙏🏻☮️
I’m so sorry you went through that, Marlena. Sending love and compassion your way.
I am so sorry for everything you experienced. That’s so awful and so heartbreaking. I applaud you for having the strength to share such a terrible and sensitive experience. ❤
I am a nurse and I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I can’t make a doctor do something for pain, but I can at least do my best to make you comfortable. I’m sorry that that Nurse left you sitting and would not help change or clean you they should be there for emotional support And do as much as they can to make you comfortable again I’m so sorry that that happened to you
Marlena, I feel your pain. I am 39 and have a toddler, but also want another child. I had a miscarriage in February at 7 weeks and another one in July at 11 weeks. Its so difficult to deal with emotionally, and ontop of it all the medical followups. Its so discouraging to try again, but how can you not give it one more try? Only women who have gone through it understand the feeling.
What courage you have to speak out on this. I had a miscarriage between my son and daughter around 10 weeks. Love and Strength to you. ❤
The video just started so I'm just getting into it, but the title... I'm so sorry for your loss
Thanks!
Thank you so incredibly much! This is beyond kind- so grateful! Sending you a massive hug xoxoxo
I'm so sorry for your loss. I also had a miscarriage at 20 weeks back in March. The most awful thing I've ever had to go through. I still think and grieve about my baby everyday. Crying as I'm typing this. I hope you're okay. Sending hugs from across the pond. X ❤️
I hope you are OK too 😢 sending hugs back at you, I hope you find some peace ❤
@rebeccablair9626 ❤️
Same happened to me at 21 weeks, 12 years ago now. That pain stays with you forever, you just learn to live with it.
Thank you for having the courage to share your story. No one should have to go through what you and your husband have experienced. Sending you a big hug.
Oh Marlena, I am so deeply sorry you had to go through such horrific painful miscarriages when all of this trauma was preventable.
Thanks for sharing and spreading the real life experiences of women!
I’m so sorry you went through this. Our healthcare system is so far behind the times when it comes to women’s healthcare. I hope you have a wonderful therapist who is supporting you through grief and trauma. Sending healing. 💛
It isn't our healthcare system as much as it is our political system. Healthcare and politics should be completely disconnected other than for providing all citizens with healthcare that is needed. Every wealthy nation in the world does this for their citizens except the US. :(
I too, have gone through a miscarriage and received terrible care. Marlena, thank you for sharing such a personal story and giving those perspective that NEEDED it. I wish I could cry and give you a hug in person. Sending love and strength ❤
Big hugs Marlene and Everyone who have experienced such sadness. 🙏🏼
I am very sorry for your losses and unnecessary pain and humiliation. The fight we have in front of us is a dangerous one. I am here for you and for any other woman going through this terrifying experience. I cannot write any longer. I am genuinely sorry.
Sending you so much love, Marlena. I have been endured two miscarriages (several years ago now) - - our stories are so similar, so I completely understand the pain and trauma. Nobody should have to go through that. I am so sorry for you and anyone else who has been through this. It is brave to talk about this and I really believe it is helpful for others to feel less alone, thank you for that. ❤
As a mother who is freshly out of domestic violence and had to fight almost two years to get back my boys through the family court, I know exactly how it feels to loose your own flesh and blood. I am so sorry for your loss. ❤
It's not the same. You don't need to compare yourself.
I am so sorry Marlena…. For your loss and the horrific events that you had to go through. You are such an amazing woman to wear your heart on your sleeve and share your stories with the world. Hoping that you can help someone who is in similar situations. I will pray for healing and joy in your life.
Massive hugs to you for every baby that you no longer have earthside and for the joy robber in your motherhood journey. I never knew to what extent birth trauma existed until I entered motherhood myself and it deeply saddens me that so many of us are failed more often than not. Thank you for being a voice to loss mamas. That level of transparency and vulnerability is truly difficult and a testament to your character. Wishing you medical care that is intentional, present, considerate, kind, and compassionate from here on out. ❤
You are the bravest person I’ve ever seen on YT. This is incredibly vulnerable and I can’t think of anyone IRL or online who would admit feelings of shame and remorse while alone, in a horrifying position to millions of followers. Wow. You are an icon for all women. Women are a different species of strong. Thank you for being real and authentic. We need that more than anything right now. The day a monster ripping women of their human rights is voted into office. THANK YOU YOU ARE THE BIG SISTER WE ALL NEED🙏🏻. You are so loved and appreciated ❤.
I completely agreed with the entire comment!
I agree with a lot of what you said, however out of curiosity what is the womens human right you are talking about?
I ask because I’m not sure when Trump ever said he would sign an abortion ban, when in fact he said he would not… I understand you prob disagree but I think ab0rtion is not a federal issue that should be blanked for the whole country because it should be held at state levels so the community can vote on it. There is no written constitutional right that states it’s a basic human right for a women to have a choice on terminating her pregnancy(although medical necessity is different and should not be considered the same thing if it’s a medically viable baby just imo). So, as a example places like Minnesota are are doing it in all stages of pregnancy, this going to the states has actually allowed states like Minnesota to have looser ab0rtion laws that prior which to women who want that it’s better for them. I just don’t understand how so many are falling for the fear mongering going on around this subject and don’t even go study the laws and understand what it means. Many believe we also live in a democracy when in fact we live in a constitutional republic but go figure
You have been through so much. Hospitals should be a place for help and comfort. Much love to you. Your strength is amazing.
This is so devastating, I’m so sorry Marlena. I know this has to be incredibly difficult to share and I appreciate this so much. It’s hard enough to just go through this period but to be fighting against these laws and also receiving horrible care? It’s traumatizing to the extreme.
Marlena,
What a brave, brave woman for sharing your story.
As a woman who trained as a midwife many moons ago, I'm appalled at the lack of care you received during the miscarriages of your precious little ones.
From this trauma however, is blossoming, a beautiful humble, brave, emphatic and strong woman.
Thank you
Wow, my heart is broken for you, Marlena 💔 What an absolutely horrible thing to experience. I live in Canada and feel very fortunate that there are no laws prohibiting D&Cs. I hope you find healing somehow, and your daughter will eventually understand and be proud she has such a strong mama who is willing to speak out about something so important ❤
Oh sweetheart, I’m so very sorry for all that you’ve endured 💔
Praying for you dear one.
I had a miscarriage 40 years ago and I still remember them showing me my son in a tube. I was stunned/shocked and out of my head with grief. It haunts me because I don’t know what they did with him. And somehow you go on.
I wish I could reach through this screen and give you a great big hug. You take care of yourself, Marlena … I’m praying for you and your family!
Ive been here since you did the MAC barbie green pink eye look back in the day. Big hugs to you Marlena, we love you and thank you for sharing❤
Oh, Marlena….I am heartbroken for you and your husband. So sorry to hear of the trauma you endured and for your horrific hospital experience. May God wrap his arms around you and comfort you💔
Marlena, I’m sending you the biggest hug. I’m sorry that you went through this trauma. It’s something that shouldn’t have occurred,with our health system. God bless you and your husband.
Oh I am sobbing for you. As a nurse I’m so enraged. So absolutely enraged. I have no words and too many all at once. ❤
Oh Marlena ❤
I’m sorry for your loss. Praying for healing. Blessing to you and your family.
Marlena, you are deserving of empathy and you should not feel otherwise. If your devastating story makes any one think that you are seeking sympathy by sharing your personal and unfathomable experience... they are truly unworthy of your consideration and incapable of basic human emotion.
My heart goes out to you and your family.
❤
Oh Marlena 😢😢 my heart is so broken for you. To go through that once would be horrifying but multiple times is absolutely unimaginable. I hope you find peace and healing someday. You are a warrior to say the least.
how traumatic 😢 i’m sorry you went through this ❤ and sending well wishes to kelly
I am so sorry for your loss and horrific experience-and the unnecessary fear caused by a terrible health system. Please keep speaking out and telling your story-women’s’ lives depend on it. Much love and sympathy.
I am very sorry for your loss. Gosh I just want to give you a huge hug. You’ve been through so much.
Omg Marlena I’m so sorry 😢, my heart ❤️ is aching for you and your husband!
😢😢😢😢😢😢
Thank you for your courage in sharing your story . I’m so sorry for your loss . It’s heartbreaking that in 2024 , any woman has to endure this kind of trauma.
Heartbreaking and infuriating.
I have been watching you for years and you’re such a sweet genuine person. You had me in tears with this video but yet still you’re strong. You inspire me.
I’m so sorry to hear what you went through. It’s good to know you are out there advocating for this issue.
So sorry girl. I can emphasize with your story as a women who has also experienced the bathroom miscarriage. Prayers girl
My heart just breaks for you. Child loss changes you. My daughter was 21. But that loss in your voice, that ache in your soul, we all have that love. It's not the best club to be a member of, but we support each other.
You’re not alone. I just had miscarriage too this time last week and i am still going through the hardest time right now. We will be ok and my heart goes out to you too x
I’m truly sorry you lost your baby. May God bless your life in many ways this year. 😢 hugs
I feel like I have been here from when you first started doing you tube at home in the bathroom - and have loved you ever since. Marlena, words cannot even express how sorry I am to hear of your journey on this, I know you have been through hell and back. But yet your strength and courage and voice is inspiring to those who need it most- thank you for always being real,honest,loving and kind. This might not be everyone’s journey but for those who it is- they don’t feel alone. Sending you the biggest hug, lots of love, and always here to support you and the family.❤
I’m so sorry for your loss. The same thing happened to me 13th years ago. I felt the same way on that toilet and not even know I was pregnant. thanks to my friend that was there to help me and call 911 and help with my son that was 5 at the time. My heart goes out to all the women that have to go thought.
I’m in Texas too. I carried my son for 28 weeks and delivered him stillborn in July 2023. I knew what his prognosis would be (at 25 weeks officially) and I decided to carry him until the very end. My OB/GYN kept pushing me to go out of state to have an abortion and I kept feeling his little kicks and I said that I couldn’t do that to him. After my cesarean I held his little body and I kissed his little face and he had the most perfect little feet. And he had the longest legs for being so small. I just told him that I was so sorry and that I loved him so much. And I am grateful that all he knew was love.
I can’t watch but I wanted to support. I did read above and I am so very sorry for your losses Marlena and family. My first baby was ectopic. And I have one gorgeous rainbow boy. I’m so blessed to have him. Sending lots of love.
My sympathy for your loss. May you see your precious boy in heaven one day.
Our second son was stillborn at 30 weeks. I felt the same way, choosing to have a natural labor and birth. If the only thing I would ever be able to do for my son was deliver him then I was going to make sure he was born with love and dignity.
@@Suzanna-b2i I look forward to it ❤️ and giving him the biggest hug. And so many kisses!
@@betsybabf748 I’m so sorry that we are sisters in this awful experience. I can endure and heal from my heartbreak. But I will always remember his kicks, his dances to New Kids on the Block and his love of kitty purrs on my belly. It was and is worth every tear I still shed. ❤️🩹 sending you lots of love and hugs from one stillborn warrior mama to another.
❤
I'm really sorry. The same thing happened to me years ago in California. I felt horrible because I was alone...my partner couldn't be with me for the actual D & C. I can't imagine the horror of moving through protesters accusing you of killing babies. I'm so, so sorry for your pain. At least sharing it must give you a sense of solidarity. Thank you.
You are such an Inspirational Human Being, Marlena!
Beautifuly Strong Inside & Out! 🤗
I’m at a loss for words. I’m so sorry, Marlena. Please don’t ever apologize; you’re such a strong mama. My heart goes out to you; I’ll be praying for you and your family.
As a woman having suffered a miscarriage with my first pregnancy many many years ago, my heart broke with yours as you shared your story. I know you don't want sympathy but I'm so very sorry for what you were forced to go through. It's unlike any experience a woman will go through. It's a loss regardless of what anyone else says. You have a heart of gold and your daughter is lucky to have you as her mother 🫶🏼
I feel so heard, there are no words that can explain that horrifying scenario in the bathroom when you pass the baby you so much wanted in your arms. I applaude you for having the strength to vocalize that horrifying experience for all of us. I was reliving my experience through hearing yours, crying tears of pain with you.
I also had to have a D&C after because I had remains stuck in my cervix causing severe pain, the worst I’ve ever felt in my life. I was able to have that choice, I hate that people try to take that choice away from the woman who is going through the trauma. That insurance has the power to deny.
It’s insanity.
Marlena, thank you. Truly. Thank you for your vulnerability. ❤ Thank you for your bravery to tell your son’s story.
Oh my gosh Marlena, my heart is absolutely shattered for you! 😭 I also had a miscarriage 6 years ago but I still cannot comprehend how absolutely traumatizing this specifically must have been for you. And to have the courage to share this while having to relive it just shows what an incredible and strong woman you are! I've been following you for about 15 years and it feels like I can just reach through the screen and give you the biggest most loving hug in the world! You truly are an inspiration 🌷
Love and light, sweet girl. You are beyond brave...so vulnerable...so heartbreaking. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this. What happened to you and how the medical field handled this, should NEVER have happened. What is happening to our country and healthcare? Praying for you and your family.
Thank you for being kind, vulnerable, and brave enough to share your story. You're acting as the voice for so many. ❤
I'm so sorry Marlena. No woman should have to go through this.
Bless you. You are incredibly brave to tell your story. I wish you and your family so much love and happiness going forward.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. It is heartbreaking what is happening in this country right now with women’s healthcare. Thank you for sharing your trauma. It helps open the door to these discussions that are so important and negatively affecting women every single day in the USA right now. Praying for you and your family 🙏🏼❤️
You have been a brave warrior and used your platforms so selflessly to help others. Can’t wait to see/support the new product line
Marlena, I watched your video and literally felt the pain of your ordeal. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I can't imagine the pain and suffering you went through. I am sending you love and hugs but mainly prayers. I pray God gives you comfort and healing. My deepest sympathies.
I'm so sorry you have gone through such a horrible experience. I am praying for you.
The pain that comes with miscarriages is something I can’t imagine. I’m so so deeply sorry for the pain that you have experienced. It’s not right that we as a country aren’t able to understand that these women want these pregnancies. It’s not black & white like these poorly educated politicians think. My heart goes out to you & all the women that have gone through this horrific experience! I’m sorry we weren’t on the right side of history yesterday! ❤
That and it was men who decided for American women which is disgusting. Literally the whole world was left in shock when the US rolled back women's rights. Luckily here in the UK our government at the time spoke immediately and promised our rights would never be reversed in the UK.
I'm so sorry ❤ Thank you for being brave and speaking up for womens rights and sharing your story ❤❤
You will see your son again in Heaven. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you complained and someone from the hospital reached out to you . Big Hugs Marlena. Prayers of healing.
I’ve never been through this but I cried with you. I’m so sorry for your loss and your pain. ❤️ Thank you for sharing and I hope you feel the love of your community!
I'm so sorry for your loss and the way your care was handled, horrifying, as a woman and a fellow mom it makes my heart bleed for you.
Wow! I don’t know you personally and I’ll be honest I follow your content only from time to time but this testimonial absolutely broke my heart and brought me to tears. What a brave woman you are! I’m absolutely horrified by what happened to you, I cannot even imagine how you felt and what’s in your heart. You have all my respect and admiration and I’m sending you lots of love from a fellow Texan who plans to leave this crazy state that has changed so much for the worse. Stay strong and love that sweet girl to the fullest ❤️❤️❤️
You’re brave to put yourself out like this to help others feel less alone in this crazy country of ours. You’re a beautiful soul.
Can’t wait for Makeup Geek to come back.
Despite the mood of the video-you look stunning. What’s on your eyes?!
Sending big hugs and prayers. It makes me really sad you were treated that way. No woman losing their baby deserves to be treated that way. My heart goes out to you and your family. 🙏
I am so sorry, Marlena, that is so devastating and heartbreaking 😢😢😢😢
My heart hurts so so so bad for you!!! I had a miscarriage in January of 2020. I’m so so so sorry!!!
I'm so sorry, Marlena. Unfortunately I'm apart of this "club". Just when I started to accept the fact that I just won't be a mom, I found out I was pregnant with my little boy (now 4 yrs old). I was incredibly fortunate to become pregnant again quickly with our second (he's 3yrs old now). When I lost my mom this past year (she literally meant everything to me), my boys were the reason I got out of bed every day. My sister had gotten pregnant and was about 6 months along when she found out she lost her daughter. My heart breaks that she had to deliver her and go through that without our mom.
I'm sending so much love to you and your family ❤
Klarissa
I’m so sorry 😢💙
I’m in tears
I’m so sorry Marlena 😞😞😞
Marlena! I’ve never wanted to reach through the screen and hug you so much. I was moved to tears by your story. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, more than once. No woman should ever have to. Thank you for sharing, I know it wasn’t easy. Sending the utmost love for you and your family ❤
I‘m a mother living in Europe and I‘m so horrified for all (american) women having to go through this negligence due to mysoginistic and inhuman law practices. Losing a child is traumatic enough, I could not fathom how hard it must be to get treated like a second-class citizen on top of it. Thank you for being so brave as to sharing your story so publicly for more awareness on this topic, you are a Hero in my eyes❤. I wonder how many more women must suffer and die in a country that claims to be so advanced before women will vote united for their rights 😢
Can I get an AMEN. On this!!!!!!!!!!
Miscarriage is not categorized the same as abortion at all. Our medical system sucks and is absolutely corrupt. Miscarriage care has nothing to do with abortions. They are quite opposite. We can't cry for our children and at the same time advocate that they be unalived at our convenience. That would be lunacy.
Oh ya we really vote against our own interests here in America. It’s swell
@@KarinaSankarsingh-vi9ribut your maternal deaths are statistically higher. It is awful what some are going through. We have to move on and demand a better health care for women men would not put up with it !
@@manymoms920 here here!
This is absolutely horrific for you to have to have gone through. I had a miscarriage in 1989 and still remember the pain. I was fortunate cause i was able to get that dnc. You keep speaking out Marlena cause people need to know the horror we go through having miscarriages let alone now
I’m so very sorry for your loss! I miscarried 2 times before my son was born. I was blessed enough to have passed all of the product of conception each time. I truly had no idea this was an issue. They had discussed D and C after each time but Sonos showed I passed everything. I didn’t know that they considered D and C post miscarriage as illegal. The baby has already died. There’s no life. Why would they consider it as an elective abortion when it’s technically called “spontaneous abortion”?? How awful!!
Thank you for sharing this.
Marlena I have been watching your videos since before Makeup Geek. I am slightly older than you but I have always looked up to you . Your such a kind and resilient woman. I'm so sorry you have had so much trauma. God bless you sweetie