I’ve had the thought that what if I’m in a dream and nothing is real, what if I start stalking people, what if I lose all my emotions somehow, what if I’m a psychopath/sociopath, what if I become a mass shooter, what if I hurt someone, what if I’m sexually attracted to family members, the list can go on and on. Just to help some people relate. 😊
Me too. I remember two thoughts I had when I was a kid, that popped up at least once a day. This was before I had it as intensely as now. One of them was me thinking I was the only human and everyone around me was artificial. If I would say something about it or even seem like I knew, I thought people (the robots) would report me and I would either get killed or sent away. Another one was me innocently thumbing up to a picture of dragon ball z character before I went to sleep. This evolved over time into a mantra where I had to say good night in my head with my thumb up to everyone I cared about or else I was convinced they would die. I also had to do it chronological order of which of them meant the most to me (meaning: which of them would die first if I had to choose). I also got convinced that 2012 21 12 would be the end of the world. I had this big plan what i was going to do. But at that time my OCD was as developed or whatever you would call It, as it is today. When you're in It, you're in It lol! Thanks for sharing!
@@kaliwallaceart Hey I have a question did you ever have thoughts about people like I thought I had the thought that I hate people which I really don't but then I became afraid of the thought Now I have thoughts about being afraid of people. Now I have been dealing with severe anxiety for 3months and this thought came up during this period if you had this thought how did you handle it?
i have had similar thoughts. you have to deal with it the ay you would deal with any other intrusive/OCD-related thoughts. you have to acknowledge that they're there, tell yourself they might be true, and go on with your day. it spikes your anxiety but over time you acclimate to it and your brain doesn't see it as a threat down the road. the content of the thought really doesn't have any part in how you go about facing it. hope that helps!
My thoughts become so disturbing to the point where I was literally making faces while I thought about them. I even started to gag. Then I realized, hey... If I'm literally on the verge of throwing up, I definitely don't like the things that I'm thinking about. It's been tough but I feel like I'm in an almost complete recovery. I'm so sorry to anyone who is going through this.
Raghad not necessarily. You could definitely experience some other form of anxiety disorder or mental health issue but usually ocd hence it’s name is obsessive compulsive disorder. Usually obsessive thoughts cause people to do repeated actions (compulsions) to make the intrusive thoughts (obsessions) go away.
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I have adhd and get intrusive thoughts and it so nice to hear that someone else reacts like that when they get them. Sometimes I flinch or tic and I hate if cause its noticeable
Yes indeed. Although I do not have this category myself and falls under the perfectionism one. Plus a cluster of phobias. Yes indeed because of my empathic nature is easy to get sick still thinking about it. Please take care. Indeed working a figurative night nurse shift as I write this to stabilize fight or flight system with MyoInositol powder in a saline dose of water. A lot of saline bags in hospitals are as tall as the one I have now. Been working at therapeutic dose from Pure Encapsulations 4.2 g X 4 per bid. Now a week at this dose and a lot of progress already with Nacetylcystiene 900 mg X 4 per bid as well sharing the same water to help. Yes sorry to hear any of the anxiety sith lord army clusters have to exist as well. In fact it seems my fight or flight system getting defeated as I speak actually! How exciting is that? With that same powder with the NAC to help along with a lot of fluid. Well please take care as well. It is as if we are the jedi nights defeating the sith lord army together! Please take care and wish you well. Warmly, Mark
Does anybody get triggered by the simplest things?? Like you'll see an Apple and apples are red and blood is also red and seeing blood freaks you out cause it reminds you of death and yeah so on.. its so absurd I hate it
Sarahline. Its weird you mention that becasue I do the same thing. I do it towards makign a film or writing my book. I try to look at everything in an artistic way and how I could incorporate something into a book.
Zainab .J same Zainab me too! I guess you are muslim from your name? I am muslim too and this is so hard to deal with i wanted to die. How are your thoughts now?
It's ok. I've struggled with sexual deviancy intrusive thoughts too. You're not a bad person and it's just your mind playing tricks on you. Don't let it own you. 🧡
Reading the comments and realizing other people are going through what I'm going through makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. If you are going through this just know you are not a bad person and you are strong enough to get through it . P.s. Having genuine good people around you (friends or family) will help a lot.
@@dreamteamamv8177 Wow man,i have felling like my life is never gonna be the same and my big attraction to girls cant get back to me..is that normal in this time??im 100% sure im not gay tho..but this is killing me pls reply bro.
NLE NLE all you have to know is that it WILL get BETTER, it’s just going to take time, a lot of time. There’s going to be times where doubt creeps in but just trust me, Stay strong and be patient
NLE NLE I used to have really bad intrusive thoughts about harm and it got so bad I couldn’t even watch movies or play video games not even like Mario kart because I thought it was too “violent” but over time and with the help of some really close friends that believed in me I was able to get a lot better.
I have bad intrusive thoughts and I’m also quite spiritual so I think that people are going to pick up on my energy from my intrusive thoughts and be scared of me/think something is wrong/sick with me. It’s so hard. The guilt is crippling.
Eliana Sheridan Totally. I’m right there with you. Remember we are not bad people. I’m certain our energy is read over the nature of what our thoughts or rather thoughts that pass through our minds are. 🤍
Some of my thoughts have been What if I have hiv What if I am a predator What if I’m not real What if I forget my family What if I want to harm my dog What if I’m not human What if everyone hates me What if I lose my memory Do I have cancer What if I go crazy then just recently with things going on in my life I thought I had DID I thought I was developing dementia I thought i was possessed or at risk of being possessed All of which caused me to have panic attacks. And the feelings and images that go with these thoughts are absolutely terrifying because I know it’s not true I know I would never do any of these things but in my mind I feel like it would become a reality that I just can’t deal with.
Been there! The hardest part for these is seeking certainty which we can never achieve. We can’t answer all these “what if” questions with a definitive yes or no. We just need to learn to live with the uncertainty.
17louii 😭 I’ve had all of these thoughts too. It’s amazing to see so many people posting their thoughts. When I’m in the compulsive moments non stop thinking about this crap I always think I’m so alone.
I have the worst ocd thoughts I've had the -what if I become a killer -what if I become a zoophile -what if I'm a necrophilia -what if I'm a 30 year old man -what if I'm a 10 yr old boy -what If my mom wasnt real -what is I am schizo -what if I have associative identity disorder [switching personalities} Yeah I've had really silly thoughts but OCD makes it so convincing it's scary
The crackling in your voice reflects the pain and that the thoughts are still deep rooted somewhere. The fear of your own mind is the worst feeling ever.
I'm not diagnosed with OCD, but in the past I've had thoughts such as 'What if deep down I think that rape is okay?' It freaks me out and then I start arguing with myself that I don't think it's okay at all! But I've really struggled with that thought and I tend to avoid any news stories or documentaries that mention rape. Not sure if this would be classed as OCD or not. Has anyone else had this??
Yes I have this too sometimes, with different subjects. Its teribble and really drains my energy. I think it is ocd but I'm not sure, anyone knows this?
Don’t worry I’ve had this thought too, and also about different things. It does sound like OCD to me, so you should go see a therapist, the sooner the better!😄👍(Ps, I’m struggling hella wit this, but we got this! OCD ain’t shit)
I’m not diagnosed either but I think I have it, it’s not the same for everyone. I don’t have compulsions. All I have is like emotional ocd, intrusive thoughts and perfectionistic tendencies (idk if that’s ocd though).
You're have the most wonderful vibes. I have multiple looping thoughts. The list could go on... My biggest thoughts that get stuck on a loop are: "What if I'm a serial killer?", "What if I'm a cannibal?", "Am I developing schizophrenia?" "Am I going to think people are out to get me?", "Am I losing touch with reality?"... to the point that I actually ask my my mom if sounds or things actually happened. If I cant find where a sound came from I'll think I hallucinated. Intense harm ocd, homosexual ocd, and suicidal ocd. I'll start wondering if I won't be able to control myself and actually go through with it. I've tried to check myself in to the psych as Ive felt like that's the only thing that'll keep me and everyone safe. I'm currently on a leave from work as I was sure I was losing my mind and developing some kind of psychosis. I'm on the rebound but this spike took alot out of me. One thing it did make me realize is mental health facilitation can be horrendous. But the people closest to you can be so understanding. If they dont, ditch em. I'm so happy I stumbled upon this video. You're great and a breath of fresh air. (Now let me read this post over 15 times so I dont sound delusional or crazy hahahaha.)
@Sofie u it's awful when going through it, But you'll always come around. Just give yourself time and try and stay positive! ❤ Ps don't google things haha
Adam Wyatt I have the schizophrenia obsession too omg it’s so bad, I get these loud thoughts and overthink things completely like if I’m hearing voices or am I going crazy and if what I heard was actually true it’s horrible. Why tf did I ever start googling😂
This made me laugh. And then it made me cry. I think this is the best video on OCD intrusive thoughts/Pure O I’ve ever seen. Thank you for making this. ❤️
i am almost 100% sure i’ve got ocd. it doesn’t really show up now, but it sure did when i was younger. mine was so bad & now it’s faded away. for anybody reading this its gonna get better & you aren’t alone. God loves you & He knows you aren’t a bad person and He knows you aren’t crazy. even if you are undiagnosed like me, it’s gonna get better and God has your future in His hands. no matter what they say. and to you...thank you for making this video. it’s so cool to be able to laugh at what hurt you so badly once. you are needed. i needed this.
thanks, glad you found my videos! ocd can come and go, it's all in the natural ebb and flow of how the illness works. i hope you can stay in a good place and equip yourself with the tools you need to get better if things start to go south again.
I have all kinds of thoughts. It all started with HOCD, but now everything is much more intense. Some of mine are: -what if i'm crazy? What if I lose touch with reality? What if I become delusional? These ones are the most scary for me -What if I'm a psycopath? What if I kill my whole family? -What if I'm attracted to my mom? -(this is kinda connected to the "being crazy" obsessions) What if we are all robots? This just popped out of nowhere and it really screwed me up because it made me feel crazy. Like, WHY WOULD I BELIEVE THAT? And the list goes on and on
same. i have thoughts about killing. i feel so distraught, when i think about it, i start to not be able to breathe, ill cry, etc. i told my sister and she told me its normal. she googled it and its normal to think about. if your dealing with this, just know, you cant control what you think about.
I have similar thoughts, like when i see knife anywhere i am afraid i might do something bad with it to my family... And the worst thought right now is that my brain keeps on telling me that i might be crazy. Then that word will keep on repeating on my brain... Crazy, insane, ....
OMG, GUYS, READING SOME OF THE COMMENTS ARE SO COMFORTING, I ALWAYS THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY PERSON WHO GET THESE ANNOYING DISTURBING THOUGHTS, I WANNA CRY, THESE THOUGHTS WONT FUCKING STOP
@@itzelytube3726 Ive had it for 2 years and ive thought every intrusive thought that you may think so dont worry also those thoughts arent yours they are a misfiring in your brain
You don’t even know how much it helps that you shared this with us. Thank you for being so open and sharing. It makes me feel like I’m not the only one and I’m not this psycho person that needs put down
I suffer from ocd like crazy. I went to a therapist for years. I haven’t been for a while but the stuff I learned with her has continued to help me. But the corona virus situation is really affecting my mental health and causing me to remember old triggers :(
Dude same. This all started w me and my body. Then went to oh end of the world then to what If were in a simulation to then my sexuality to then what if I'm mentally I'll. What if I have a brain tumor. What if I do this or that. Its fukcing crazy.
I’m diagnosed with anxiety, and questioning of I have ocd. And for years, on and off I’ve had this deep rooted fear that I’m having a stroke. To the point where I’ve almost been taken to the hospital. Once I got hit by a car and eighth grade and I got up and ran to the nurse because I was terrified that I hit my head and was having a stroke. And it comes back sometimes if my head hurts, and I can not sleep
This is crazy, I thought I was the only one with the cannibal fear lol. It seems ridiculous looking back. I was so afraid of telling anyone. Thank you for making these videos they really help people who don’t want to tell anyone
Quarantine has brought out the worst in my anxiety. Like the first 3-4 month I was fine, but the last 1-2 month I’ve had intrusive thoughts that honestly had given me so much anxiety. I generally always knew I have had anxiety, but now it has evolved quickly. Like she said the worst thoughts for me are in the morning and before going to sleep. Which lead me to not having a good night of rest like I used too. Lately my thoughts have been about scary stuff. For example, I was usually a scary movie fan and like anything that dealt with the unknown. But suddenly one movie just triggered so much. Like are there ghost in my house, is that noise in the house something unexplained, are having these types of though inviting the bad stuff. At lot of ‘’what if’’ and now I can’t watch anything that deals with supernatural stuff because I panic and my head runs wild. I really hate this.
A lot of people think OCD is just keeping their house clean and straighten crooked pictures. I've had it all my life but it gave me a lot of benefits I can draw a map of the world and name and locate every single nation because I had a compulsion to look up maps and draw them but I also have very strange ones almost like I can control future events if I touch something a certain way I have convinced myself in the past that I may be schizophrenic which I am definitely not. I am not normally paranoid but sometimes think of the possibility of somebody else reading all my thoughts LOL and being able to see what I see through my eyes I don't entertain it I think wow I wonder if this could really happen? But OCD is actually creativity also I am an artist and most people with OCD are very creative
OMG OMG NO WAY I ADMIRE SO MUCH FOR SAYING THIS . I literally had the exact same first thought and could not eat at all for about a month and kept having nausea and my mom even brought me to see a doctor because she was worried I felt so sick . I never told anyone about it , all I did was watching documentaries about it to inform myself on the subject and tell my brain how bad it is and how I don’t want to be this kind of person . I was feeling so down , it was one of the worst episode of my life , it was during the pandemic so I think this triggered it too. I also want to add that this is one of the thing that disgusts me the most so I was so confused , I always have thoughts about what I hate most and what traumatised me the most . Edit : I had all the exact same thoughts in the video , it’s like I’m speaking in the vid . Wow tysm I personally wanted to be taken to a mental hospital or smth .
I have PTSD with depression, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts. I agree. OCD also runs in my family (my grandmother cleans and my aunt (grandma is her mother) organizes, and her kids rutine/organization.
I'm a 20 year old female. Never had sex and to be completely honest I think that's what caused my intrusive thoughts. I guess it makes me more curious because I don't have any experience whatsoever. I feel so guilty and ashamed and just hearing someone say they have had the same thoughts as me or they have the same struggles makes me feel a little better. I have no clue if I have OCD. I haven't been to a doctor or a therapist but I would like to. I recently told my mom that I thought I had OCD and she kind of laughed and said that she works with people with OCD and said that I don't have it. But I guess she doesn't know that it's not just cleaning and washing it's about your thoughts too. I feel like my thoughts are haunting me and I just want to feel better. If anyone is going through this too please just know you are not alone 💕😭
This was so helpful! I suffer from strange, disturbing, gross thoughts and I don’t know if I suffer from OCD, my thoughts have started days ago and I’ve suffered anxiety and disturbing weird thoughts.
thank you so much for sharing this!! i haven’t been diagnosed but i’ve been dealing with this for so long. i usually avoid searching up things like this because i was always terrified i’d have the worst of the worst and although havin this is equally as terrifying, you sharing your experience makes me realize im not alone. i seriously thought i was going crazy. after dealing with this for so long i finally decided im gonna ask for therapy and i hope it helps. my sister also dealt with ocd and she doing so much better today, she is my role model and gives me hope. and so do people like you, once again, thank you for making me feel like im not crazy 🥺
I'm 23 and never knew that OCD was more then weird habits or washing your hands over and over and over. I've been terrified be thoughts that get stuck in my head and unwanted impulses for so long. They've made me feel isolated, but to afraid to reach out. It's such a relief I'm not the only one
Thank you so much! I got diagnosed 3 years ago! I am 28. I've realized that I get triggered when big change happens. The first time or "onset" was when my husband left for training for 5 months and I was left with my 2 kids in California alone. I'm from Texas, but hubby is in the Military so we were stationed in California. I was fine for the 2 first months, then the had a lot going on like working, taking care of 2 sick kids and I was sleep deprived and then Easter day I started getting intrusive thoughts about hurting my kids or what if I sexually molested them. I was so distraught and couldn't believe those thoughts were in my head. I thought I must be an evil person. My rituals were me going over in my head how I was a good person because I gave a homeless man money, or I cried when other people hurt, how much I care about my kids and their well being. I would ruminate about how much I loved them . It was so scary and I thought I was alone. I was so scared to tell a therapist because I was terrified they would take my babies from me. I knew I would never do any of the thoughts but then my mind would go to well other moms have killed their kids what if I turn to be like them.. it was so terrifying and I struggled for a whole year even with therapy and even when my husband got back. I think I was so traumatized by the thoughts I couldn't let them go. Finally, I felt better and started living a normal life OCD free , little thoughts would pop up but I would identify them and know exactly what the thoughts were and I was able to move on... Now, I have a lot of change coming. We are moving to Japan, I quit my job to prepare for move, and my best friend moved back home because her hubby deployed. I started getting thoughts like, what is our purpose in this life, we are so little in such a big world. I am obsess over it and start to ritualize and try to come up with answers but the answers are never satisfying. It started with that and now I'm getting thoughts about what if I hurt my kids and they aren't able to enjoy the beaches in Japan so I'll ritualize and picture them older and how happy we are all then another intrusive thought will be like but there was a lady on the news who killed her 12 year old what makes you different from her. These thoughts are so traumatizing and they make me sad and I keep reminding myself that it's just OCD, and this is just temporary and I've gotten through it before. I know it's triggered by all the change happening in my life but it's weird because the thought are unrelated to anything. I hate this but I know I'll get through it. Thank you all for sharing your stories. Makes me feel not alone ❤️
@@ruthlesscricket8178 the fact that you are scared to do it and have fear shows that you don't want to and never will. It's just a fear. You'll be ok. Your thoughts have nothing to do with who you are as a person. Make some space between the thoughts and yourself.
I’m relapsing also but reading these comments are SUPER helpful. And helping me realize that something I’m doing is wrong bc of the relapse and forcing me to really look into what’s causing the stress what’s causing this relapse or why my techniques aren’t working anymore.
Ive never watched you before but ive been struggling with OCD for over 10 years and have been in therapy (ERP!) for over three, and this video was just so encouraging! We have/had a lot of the same obsessions/compulsions and its so great to hear you just vocalize them and challenge them! OCD is such a stigmatized illness, and its so illogical most times! You really are making a difference! Ive never heard someone with some of the same harm OCD thoughts. OCD is such a bitch sometimes and I just wanted to say thank you for being so open and amazing! Thank the lord for ERP am I right!
So you're telling me it's not an uncommon OCD fear to think that this reality is just an illusion or some kind of prank being played on me? God I thought I was the biggest nut case for thinking that, but the oh so wonderful part about OCD is no matter how much evidence is presented for an existential fear the mind still finds a way to go "ehh idk about that dawg could use more evidence".
Yup. And that cycle will keep going and going until you stop responding to those thoughts. Very hard to do. I know. Ive been there. If you want any assistance in learning how to leave this in the past feel free to email me abraham.valera001@gmail.com
Omg relatable🙊 I cried happy tears watching this! I feel like I'm in a similar position as you now where I can look back and laugh at obsessions I have had and compulsions I've done! Thank you for this video!
I get a combination of urges, unwanted thoughts & images of me doing terrible things. I had the urge to drive my car off of bridges, so I stop driving on bridges. When I cross a bridge I can see myself driving off in mind and it makes me question if I have did it already. Am I falling or am I driving. I had the urge to drive my car into the concrete barrier, although I want to live, so I no longer drive on freeways. The same thing with the images of me seeing myself driving into the barrier. I once had to scream loud to make the images stop, so I could focus on the road. I have the urge to run red lights When I’m driving, I’m always thinking of ways I could die in a car wreck. Like what if this car start coming the wrong way. What if this truck come over on me. Driving is exhausting for me and I hardly do it. I used to want to jump out of moving vehicles but I don’t really do that anymore. When I take a pill, I always have to double check to make sure my suppositories are still in the draw to make sure I didn’t accidentally take them. I taught my baby niece at a young age how to clean her on self because I was afraid that I may touch her wrong. Although I’m disgusted by child molesters. I’m very hyper sensitive around children because of the things done to me and I’m afraid that I may do it. I have the urge to shout out obscenities during the wrong time. Like when it’s quiet or during prayers. I have the urge to sometimes cut family members. So I will avoid knives when I have those thoughts. Sometimes when the loops won’t stop, I will scratch myself or pinch myself to redirect my thoughts. I try not to do that as much now. I have the urge to hurt people physically or to hurt myself. It seems the most horrible acts cross my mind and I want to do them because I don’t want to do them not sure if that make sense.
Hey, just found this. Im so sorry that you are going theough this. I have PTSD with intrusive thoughts, and I get simlar ones to yours. I have had sexual devency thoughts (kids, family members, animals, friends), incest thoughts, and times where I had thoughts of being sexually assaulted by members of my family. I have had thoughts of violence towards others, but mostly I get thoughts of people causing me harm, people hurting each other, or hurting myself. For example, I work in a sewing shop, and I have had thoughts of stabbing myself in the hands with needles. I have had thoughts of having alergic reactions to shrimp (even though i do not (my cousin is deathly alergic to peanuts). Sometimes when I walk across crosswalks I have thoughts of people being run over. I have had thoughts of animals attacking me. When I was younger I had a lot of self deprication thoughts. Most of the time I have thoughts of monsters following me / stalking me. Something under the bed, in the closent, in the shower, in the dark, behind me, in the hallway you name it. People faces melting and morphing into things. I know they arnt real, and that they dont show who I am, and that im not a bad person, but they are still scary. Your not alone.
Omg!!! Thank you for posting this. My ocd has just kicked off this year and it’s been so bad just these last two weeks and I’ve been feeling like I have to kill myself just to escape these thoughts. I’m embarrassed to talk about it and admit I have these thoughts. On Monday I felt like quitting my job and just telling everyone I’m a monster. And everyone says that not reacting to them will allow them to pass, but every single thought feels like acid to my brain and body. It’s so hard to live with this.
don’t be scared. the comments above are a perfect example, i’m suffering from this badly, like badly. i contemplate suicide. attempted it recently. i know you don’t know me but i won’t judge you. i’m here for you!
Omg I’ve had so many of these! The stalking one started for me recently and I thought I was the only one that had that one! This definitely gave me a few laughs. Not laughing at your pain, but sometimes saying our thoughts out loud makes them realize how silly they can be! 😂 we’re all in this together though!
haha that's good! yeah like i said, when you're in the middle of it it seems like a life and death situation but when you can look at it from the outside, it has a level of humor to it
nihaokaili oh yes and I definitely think I’m still in the spot where it feels so scary and worries me more than anything, but I’m in therapy and working with ERP so hoping that will pass soon. It’s weird because some moments I’ll just have a moment of clarity and be like oh, this isn’t actually me it’s my OCD! But unfortunately, most of the time I’m left with that constant worrying and what if train of thinking. OCD sucks but I’m having faith it can get better. And seeing stories like yours give me hope so thanks so much for posting. 💕
it's okay, the fact that you're even able to view any of it with humor and recognize when something is OCD and not a legitimate threat is great progress! continue as you have been and you'll see a world of difference. i won't lie, i definitely have bad days still but now because of ERP i am equipped with the ability to separate myself from what's happening and get back on track. you got this! :)
Sure thing! It can feel super lonely, but check out any of the comment sections on my OCD videos and you'll quickly find a little community we've built here to discuss these things freely :)
I think talking about it helps the most. I've been having these thoughts since I was 10. I'm 19 and they are even worse. My problem is that I imagine things. I mean like multiple lives in my mind. (I never had a close family or friends so I imagine I did) Anyway an example would be I would be imagining us having dinner and then have a thought of spitting in their food and stabbing them. That hurts more because the imagination IS thoughts. I have them with things outside my mind aswell some examples are 1. Insulting and cussing someone out after they said hi to me including children 2. Acting like a hardass asshole 3. Injuring and murdering children, babies, innocent people and family 4. Liking things I hate 5. Just being an evil nasty person These thoughts haunt my life and imagination and I find them unbearable to endure as I'm the exact opposite of all things listed. I try tons of methods of removing them but nothing ever works. I would give myself a headache trying to suppress them and I would cry myself to sleep if I can't. (Bruh my thoughts are graphic as hell that list above is only a few) Talking to someone is the only that really helps me but few people understands me 😖
I needed this I know you posted this a year back... but I been getting so many panic attacks because of intrusive thoughts. I HATE IT, but I’m remembering it’s not who I am. I am not my thoughts and I never will be. I just repeat it until I’m calming down.
i'd love to open up a bit. one of my first intrusive thoughts started when i was scrolling through youtube on my phone and i saw this thumbnail of this person with a open pair of scissors through their eyes and i had this moment that set it all off where i was like "What if i gouged my eyeballs out right now? what's stopping me" and its a weird feeling to describe. it feels so real and feels like your reality is a dream or delusion and that in real life you are doing that thing in particular. i felt so alone and depressed. i felt like i was going crazy and that suicide would be my only way out. i remember how hard it was. i was crippled. i slept almost two weeks straight only getting up briefly to eat. i couldn't hardly cope. even now those days are still hard to recall but eventually i realized i couldn't just lay around and waste away i had to do something to help myself, so around that time my tv broke and i couldn't really replace it i was also broke lol anyway's i got caught up in this mini adventure at the time the living room was the only place i could fufill my gaming fix so i moved my ps3 to the living room i spent so many late nights playing it out there. and to be honest it kept my mind busy for the time. i re did my room and moved my electronics to the other side of my room and my bed to the other side i added a desk and had 2 small square vga monitors, i got a vga to hdmi adapter for that and connected my ps3/xbox one/ xbox 360 to that and my computer to the other monitor, i started researching what i was feeling, i found out i have harm ocd pretty bad too, i found a few channels like hayley's life through a lense and your channel for the first time if you can believe it hahah i started trying to overcome it, and i did. for a while, its come and gone with various compulsions and intrusive thoughts of many uncomfortable variety's but i'm persevering and channels like you make me feel alot better about all of it and even though those times were rough i look back on them as a growing experience. i felt and still do feel like i cant share this with my family because if they knew this stuff they'd never understand and think i was crazy. so thank you for your help in helping me cope with my own ocd and i hope you guys enjoyed my rambly harmd ocd story and that it has helped at least one of you out there relate :)
i've had so many of these myself that i spent the whole video with a big stupid grin on my face and nodding profusely. so relatable, especially the way you described poisoning your pets' food already but not being able to remember. XDD
Just know that you’re not alone. I’m right here with you. We’re all going through the same thing. And even if you feel helpless, you can distract yourself with drawing or music or writing your thoughts down (it seems terrifying to me so I would never do it). But maybe the fact that you’re afraid of these things is good and it means that you know that they’re wrong. Maybe we all get thoughts, but our brains work differently and hold onto them. Maybe you are ok. Maybe you are perfect the way you are. Instead of thinking the bad “maybe” thoughts, try thinking about the good ones. There are so many ways to recover. Even though I haven’t yet, I’m going to therapy, and you should consider it too. Everyone in this comment section is going through the same thing, so we should support each other. I believe in you and I love you all. You don’t deserve to be tortured by your mind. You’re not a bad person.
I came across your video while streaming the internet about my thoughts... a compulsion right? I have been having harmful thoughts for almost exactly a month now... I remember the exact thought that started it. I started therapy but she diagnosed me with PTSD but all I have been able to think about the last month is the fear that I would lose control and hurt my family or literally any stranger. It's made me feel super disconnected from the world. I started taking medication (Zoloft) and it seems to have helped a little. It doesn't help that for the last year I have binged watched multiple true crimes shows and that just adds on to my fears. Like I know that I would never hurt anybody but these fucking thoughts man. It gives me hope to come across these videos. Thank you for sharing!
Just now watching this,, been there, had all those thoughts. Fear of harming others, pedo, etc,, it's all scary. Satan uses this as a really big tool against us. Hearing that others go through this too helps :) God bless you
Currently my main intrusive/obsessive thought is regarding morality/the purpose of being moral. It’s like a kind of philosophical OCD where I keep asking myself and reading about what people/philosophers say is the point of doing the right thing. I keep having these thoughts like why should I care about others and not just myself or why should I not do something like steal for my own personal gain because as long as it benefits me then why worry about anything else. It also goes deeper, as in if I were never taught or socialized that such acts are wrong/immoral would I still feel empathy and similar emotions. These thoughts scare me, and only seem to worsen as I try to untangle them and prove that it’s not who I am. When I think I’ve got it all figured out, the thought of “who cares about others and what they think” just creeps back up. These thoughts are a vicious paradoxical cycle. It’s funny because these just started super recently out of absolutely nowhere. I haven’t had intrusive thoughts at all for the past 6 years and now they’re just back, and in a new and scary variety. I’ve had a wonderful upbringing, a close relationship with God, awesome friends, and I’m doing well in college. Most importantly, I’ve always despised crime and have always tried to be the most caring, compassionate, and understanding soul possible. It’s like these thoughts are trying to tempt me toward a dark path. I believe I’ll be alright as I’ve gone through it before, I just wish my brain would stop trying to rationalize being a narcissistic criminal with no regard for others. Just remember my fellow OCD sufferers; we’re not alone and we can, no, we WILL get through this!
My ocd started out as hocd (what if im gay) then overtime just became a general fear of warping anything any situation to become bad/disgusting. I've been learning more about metaphysical spirituality and recently became kinda stuck on the 'what if im the only one that exists and everyone else and the whole world is just my imagination' , which really messed with my head :( because its based on the law of belief whatever you believe becomes true and manifests for you. Im aware i may be misintepreting it but ugh wish my mind could just stop
thoughts related to sexuality are common and really distressing for a lot of people. i have also had those weird existential thoughts as well, and those are super disorienting because you start to question EVERYTHING. unfortunately we can only control our reactions to the thoughts, not the actual thoughts themselves. if we could control what popped into our head, none of us would have a problem. i would just approach that by challenging it and saying "yeah, maybe i AM the only one who exists. this whole world is just my imagination" and shrug and go get a cup of coffee or something, lol. even if you have to fake it til you make it, eventually your mind will lay off once you acclimate to to the spikes.
haha oh well such mad little things our minds are really. in both good and bad ways. Anyway I just want to thank you for being the first person I came across who kinda normalized intrusive thoughts and showed me that having these thoughts and experiences are okay and doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with us, and in fact we are still cool and amazing human beings as well
I have similar problems with OCD!!! I've been into metaphysical spirituality for a long time now and I've been afraid that I'll somehow launch myself into another dimension while I'm asleep and not be able to come back or what if I'm under a psychic attack or something... Those ones are the hardest because it's harder to prove whether they're real or not I try to tell myself they're just thoughts but then my mind remembers that thoughts can manifest so my argument becomes invalid basically.
@@Hawthorn6852 omg can we chat pls i have been trying so hard to find another person who can relate i feel like im going crazy just thinking all these insane stuff i cant reveal to others about. Do u know of any spiritual communities i can join for the sake of my sanity by any chance
@@weili585 Yes we can chat! I know of a few groups on facebook, but so far I've only found one UA-cam channel that talks about OCD related to metaphysical spirituality called ScarletMoonMagic I think but I haven't watched very many of his videos so I don't know for sure how many actually talk about it.
This video goes for 22:22 minutes, if you believe in signs.. look up the meaning 2222! Relates so much to this.😅 thank you for sharing your light for others that are struggling with OCD thinking. Your helping and guiding others.💜🙏
Did the things you talked about in the video feel like urges? like it felt like you wanted to do something you find horrifying and scary but then you tell yourself you wouldn't do that but they just keep coming back? I'm also afraid of it getting worse, which it kind of has, im just so afraid that it will get so bad I'll do something. When you were having those thoughts about your family, was there a way for you to be around them without freaking out? Because It's so hard to be around them, even though i love them so much.
Sunflower All of what you’re describing is very typical of OCD and that “impulse” or “urge” feeling is normal. It’s common to question whether you truly WANT to act on your thoughts because after ruminating on them for so long, we all become a bit numb and this can be mistaken for complacency. Your OCD may indeed become worse from one time to the next but it will never progress to the point that you will actually act on your thoughts. I’m 28 years old and have been dealing with harm OCD since the age of 13, though I consider myself in recovery since age 25. I haven’t harmed anyone yet lol. As anxiety inducing as it is, you need to be around your family like normal. Avoiding them only contributes to the OCD. If you can get into therapy, I highly recommend it.
Thank you so much for this video .I could totally relate to you and I felt so calm knowing that others go through the same and I am not alone in this ,that I am not insane or anything, I am not a bad person .I struggle with thoughts like killing my closed ones ,harming them ,being attracted to someone else and cheating my partner ,sexual thoughts with my family members ,and sometimes literally anyone and it troubles my mind ,pedophilia sometimes ,killing my self ,what if I commit suicide ,or what I I jump off and a lot of these that I barely remember. I am learning these days that these thoughts don't mean anything anf I am a good person ,and I treat myself with kindness and compassion and watching videos like yours help me a lot to accept myself anf love myself .Thank you for sharing these thoughts .I love you .I literally love you so much my bestie .♥️♥️
seeing your videos and hearing about your weird ocd thoughts it's like I can let out a breath I was holding in I've been struggling with weird intrusive thoughts I have not been professionally diagnosed with harm OCD or pure o but I have seen a therapist and she said she has 0 worries about me hurting someone I'm a huge family person an animal lover and I also paint and draw so I can relate to you so much I also work for an airline and travel a lot lol even though I hate flying .. I do take a low dose of ativan when I travel because like you I can't sleep so I just sit there feeling terrible and anxious.. I have had thoughts about getting up in the middle of the night and stabbing my fiancee and then what my life would be like in prison or if I'd be put in a psychiatric hospital what his family would be like and then thinking I'm a monster and I should leave him or kill myself I thought about drinking antifreeze and have had thoughts that as I'm typing this to delete it and avoid saying this I just want to thank you so much for telling your story and I cried when I watched the first video because I related and realized I'm not crazy and I'm glad you are not medicated I was thinking I might need medication but I don't want to be dependent upon that I want to continue to live my life be happy and get married so thank you again ❤
I totally relate! I've struggled with intrusive thoughts my whole life. I'm not diagnosed nor have I told anyone. This video made me cry. I'm so relieved that I'm not the only one.
Update it's been 1year since I posted this and I am now happily married and most importantly HAPPY lol my therapist has closed my file although I do still have her number just in case I was diagnosed with anxiety which can trigger OCD and given so many helpful coping technics. I also learned to redirect any anxiety or anxious moments that may bring on anything and haven't had weird thoughts in so long 😊🤞 my biggest advice to any one who may think they are crazy .. your not lol crazy people don't think they are crazy! Lol and if you are having issues don't be afraid to talk about it you will be surprised with the amount of people who struggle with something. 😙
sometimes when we have these types of anxieties is because our brain is wired differently such as a highly sensitive person! (HSP) HSP tend to have a brain that is extremely sensitive to noises and almost everything surrounding them. the brain is different to the "normal" brain.
Thank you for your video! My son has this type of OCD, he is 10! Your sweet spirit spirit and willingness to share your store encourages me and helps me help my son and make sure he has what he needs! Your awesome!
I'm so glad that right now I'm almost symptom free....apart from some weird "I'm having or I will get a deadly desease" ...sweet ocd Life...not!😅 But you just have to learn to live with the thoughts. Guess the worst part for me was the depersinalisation and derealisation I was going through. Because the thoughts get okay after a while and they don't have that power over you anymore...I related to that video so much...I've been suffering from ocd for 13 years now on and off. Right now I'm mostly good but I know that can change🤷🏼♀️I feel like most people don't really get what ocd actually is so they missuse the Term a Lot so thank you so much for that video. Ocd really is awful. I've been going through most of the thoughts you had😱
You're so beautiful, I've suffered from OCD for a long time, seeing this video I could relate in almost every way, I think although it can feel difficult at times to try compassionate detachment toward my thoughts, to try observe and witness my thoughts with compassion than engaging with them, but I completely sympathize cos OCD can feel very distressing and tormenting, but well done for having the courage to make this video well done xx :)
I know I'm super late in commenting but this video is everything!!! This helps me so much during such a hard time with this new diagnosis. Every single thought you've had is something I've thought of and it scared the crap out of me!!! And I truly felt I am crazy and that nobody would understand. It literally feels like my head is going to explode or like if I can feel my mind changing to some evil brain....this is ridiculous lol
OCD can become such a viscous cycle. You literraly think you belong in a mental hospital. But in reality we just have to unlearn bad mental coping skills and learn new ones that benefit us. I know how bad it can get, ive been there. But you can leave all this behind. If you want any assistance with OCD i can help. Email me at abraham.valera001@gmail.com
Thank you so much for this video. I'm pretty sure my pure o "D-Day" happened 6 days ago and I'm going to a crisis clinic to get some perspective and hopefully a referral to a therapist. Hearing the things you've worried about has made me realize so many times since I was a kid that I've been struggling with this without knowing it. You've inspired me so much. I know I will get through this, it just takes time.
hey! my “d day” was back in October. the first weeks or even months will be the hardest. i’m still going through it but i’ve definitely gotten better. I literally got super suicidal at one point but i’m better now! i’m definitely looking forward to the day where I can be my normal self again. I had lost all hope but i’m regaining it. hang in there!
@@itzelytube3726 Thanks for your reply 😊 I'm glad to hear you're doing well. My visit to the mental health clinic went great. I'll be starting a CBT counseling program this month and getting a referral to a psychiatrist this week. I've been doing ERP exercises on my own and practicing mindfulness/meditating and I feel so much better every day.
@@reclaimer0073 I am so happy for you! If i can give you one big big piece of advice when it comes to overcoming OCD is what you've been practicing on your own Meditation/Mindfulness. Coming from someone that has left that mental disorder behind, it was difficult but not impossible. If you ever need some assistance you can always email me. abraham.valera001@gmail.com. I can show you tips and tricks that ive learned in my journey.
I have been diganosed with ocd for almost 6 years now, hearing your story and the thought you have. Has made me feel not alone and brought me back down from a scary dark place. Thank you so much for making this video!! You really gave me hope, and that I can actually fight these thoughts.
i decided to write down my reoccurring intrusive thoughts, and it kinda helped me rationalize and realize how stupid/strange a lot of them are. it helped ease my worry, at least temporarily. here’s my list: spiders in my drinks bugs crawling on my hands people breaking in from my garage someone shooting me when i get up to pee at night crushing my pets under recliner bugs in my vagina dirty water splashing up when i pee car accidents bombs and shootings in public places people taking pictures of me through windows from outside at night people around me are fake and i’m imagining them a lot of them are about bugs which is so strange because i’m not scared of them at all 😂
When my OCD was especially bad around my high school years I would spend an hour or two per night laying out my clothes for the next day on the ground exactly how I'd wear them because I thought that if I didn't (like if there was a wrinkle or crease) that I would then break the body part that the crease was in (like I would break my leg if my jeans were wrinkled). Interesting how many different thoughts our brains can come up with.
Thank you so much for uploading your OCD stories, before I found out that what I had was ocd, I was very scared that I was a horrible person. Ever since I found out it was ocd I've been able to control my panic attacks and my horrid thoughts better. I legit thought I was either being possessed or doomed to be a murderer. My compulsions revolved around hiding sharp objects and not going outside because I was scared I would just go insane and lose control of my mind and body etc.. I've only experienced these things for the passed month so they're quite fresh to my mind, I was so scared that I was gonna hurt someone that id have to get rid of myself. But ever since I found out it was OCD and not my actual thoughts, I was able to more or less stop them, however they're creeping back into my thoughts and I'm getting worried again, I keep on thinking "what if it isn't ocd" "what if I want to hurt someone" "what if I am a monster". But I know it'll pass and with the right help, I can get better. And I hope that anyone reading this and is struggling, we can get thoguht it together. We aren't bad people.
I can totally relate! Even just a few years ago when I had my main onset there was not a lot of info online, but luckily I've seen more and more recently. Hopefully it is easier for people to find out what is going on with them now than it was when I was at my worst, not knowing what was happening. I hope you're doing okay!
just to help anyone with these thoughts or just to relate, some of my thoughts have been: what if i’m in a dream and no one else is real what if i’m not a human and this isn’t my body what if i’m going to hurt someone close to me because they aren’t real what if i stop trying in school because it’s not real what if i wake up and i’ve been in a coma what if i forget how to speak what is the point of the universe what is life what if i forget my family so yeah just a brief introduction;)
I’m finally going through the process of opening up to medical professionals (still haven’t really told family yet; have told some friends) about my obsessions and compulsions and like you said “crazy thoughts” and it’s so freeing to finally FINALLY know WHY and hopefully find help and peace.
This is very refreshing and comforting to hear. Over the years I have had so many thoughts related to either me causing the death of someone close to me or killing my family or pets. For the longest time I felt so discusting and alone with these thoughts and hearing the same type of thoughts here makes me feel so much better. Thank you for the video!
OMG I have had most of those thoughts myself. I struggle with the feeling of going crazy! While I have had many other thoughts, the fear of going crazy is the worst.
@@kaliwallaceart I know, it is for real the worst fear I have experienced. I read it is very common in people with anxiety and depression but that doesn't really reassure me that I am not losing it!
The one about breaking your dog's neck is so relatable. That's one of the most common ones I have, honestly- we have three dogs and two cats and it's a constant struggle against those sort of thoughts. Of course, there are many, many others, but just knowing I'm not alone with that one in particular is freeing, in a way.
I would feel weird when people wore glasses because I thought the glass would break and go into their eyes. Thank you for sharing. I have grown so much this past year and have gotten my reaction to thoughts under control.
Honestly, you are so brave and I respect you so much. OCD can feel so isolating and lonely at times when you feel like there is something you have to keep to yourself for the rest of your life because it is so taboo, it can be really scary. Thank you for helping people to be more open, and to understand that there are others out there experiencing the same thing💗💓
I often have intrusive images of murdered & mutilated people in the forest, then the thought that I have hidden peoples bodies without remembering it. Scary thoughts about hurting my pets and enjoying their screams of pain. Lots of fear about becoming a serial killer, I was convinced when I was a teenager that I would end up a drug addict or serial killer and even had plans in my head of how I’d do it. Kind of like mini movies or stories that play out on my head of me doing terrible things and fantasizing about that evil life.
Wow. Same on that last point. Thank you for sharing, I thought I was alone even among people who have this. (The point about thinking you're unique is absurdly true, heh.)
I've got all of the same kinds of thoughts as u and it honestly feels so good to know I'm not alone! To everyone dealing with this, we'll get better!!!
Oh my god. Thank you so much for making this video. It makes me feel so much better when people just share their weirdest ocd thoughts. I mean, you didn’t really mention any of the ones I’ve had but you’ve had some pretty weird ones. Mine are more sexual or religious for the most part. And I thought I was the only one who got that urge or feeling that you were about to do it or whatever like you mentioned. Like one of my fears is blasphemy about the Holy Spirit. I’m a witch btw but I have a strong Christian background and some of the beliefs I used to have are still ingrained in my brain. But anyway I would always fear cussing out the Holy Spirit or giving the middle finger and so I would sometimes bite my tongue or hide my fingers as best I could because I’d feel myself involuntarily trying to move my tongue into a curse under my breath or subtly move my middle finger and it was terrifying to me because I was afraid I was about to do it.
Thank you for being so raw and honest In this video. I’ve had ocd for 8 years but I had compulsions as a little kid too but I grew out of them. I think ocd intrusive thoughts should be talked about and normalized much more than they are. Thank you again
OMG! I thought you looked familiar! Sometime ago, when this video first came out, I started looking more into my ocd and I found this video which helped me relate so much and feel more hopeful! I had no idea why a psycologist told me I had ocd because I thought OCD was ultra clean ppl. You helped me understand what I've been struggling with for years. thank you so much.
I’ve had a hard time looking people in the eyes lately. I tend to judge people a lot, which is my intrusive thought BUT inside I’m a very non judgmental person, unless the person is evil and then I’m ok with judging them.
Thank you so much for sharing your testimony! Ive had OCD Thoughts of my own and understand how truly scary, awful, and debilitating they can be. Its kind of funny hearing the OCD thoughts of someone else because they dont really scare me. Ive had all the thoughts as well but Im now beginning to realize its normal to think this way and I dont try to avoid them. Its like they say, "what you resist, persists." When you realize everyone has these thoughts, it can be Liberating. Sometimes making them stronger helps too. Exposing yourself to the thoughts and letting them fly by like clouds in the sky helps as well.
I convinced myself and my partner that we both had syphilis. I made us get emergency tested at the ER and nope, no syphilis, just anxiety. I do shit like this all the time... and each and every time, I become convinced I have whatever disease it is I'm obsessing on, but it usually does typically happen a lot more when dealing with life circumstances that are stressful. It stress kind of manifests as me thinking and then convincing myself I have a disease... and being unable to sleep or function until I get to the bottom of it.
For as long as I can remember, one of my recurring intrusive thoughts is when I see something really dirty, like a filthy toilet in a public restroom, is like this urge to lick it.
No, I’m still struggling with it. I recently got diagnosed with postpartum OCD, but looking back through my life, I think I have had OCD for most of my life.
thank you so much for being SO honest. seriously watching videos like this are so helpful to know that we are not alone. wow. i definitely get OCD thoughts like "what if i end up wanting to commit suicide?" like so afraid that i have the ability to do that (which i do not want to do at all) i feel like that's a hard one to share with others because i feel like people could misinterpret that! but i wanted to share for anyone else that has that fear as well. :)
Me too! It's something I dont ever want to happen and I know.myself better than that. But I still constantly worry that my mind will go blank and I'll just do it and it terrifies me.
I've actually imagined myself confessing to a cop or something too because I was having problems with false memory OCD...and now that I've seen this it makes me so happy I laugh at that thought. Me: "Officer I need you to arrest me" Officer: "Ok what did you do?" Me: "Well I think I might have done something but I don't know!" I've also thought what if I actually disappeared into a parallel dimension and my friends and family are just copies and the real ones think I want missing or something. There are way more but I don't wanna make this comment longer than I already have 😅
Wow... I got diagnosed with OCD a few weeks ago and its been hard like unreal. I'm dealing with thought that I might have HIV (because of something that didn't happen but some how happened. But now I have a little cold) but the gag is I'm a virgin but some how I feel as if I'm a rare case. The thing is that it feels sooo real and the fear is so intense and mentally draining. And today I've almost wanted to give up on god and life and just lay in bed for the rest of my life... But seeing you and these comments gives me so much hope to keep moving.Thank you so much!
I have been suffering with this for years. You are not alone. I have had days where it has been debilitating. Seeing an ocd therapist has been really helping. I know how scary it is. You are not alone in this:)
@@Oweskwasikis I never got notified that someone replied. But thank you so much! I really needed this today. Because as you know the thoughts have a tendency to come back. Haha ah life
@@cutegirl380 I do know. And I hope you keep having compassion for where you are at with your OCD, and I will too. One day or moment at a time, friend.
( TW stuff. And I do not wish to harm myself or others these are called unwanted thoughts with OCD) My craziest thought so far is “What if I killed myself l?” But then I would think “No your cat would be miserable without you,” then it would think “Okay then what if you killed your cat and yourself?” And I would have to constantly check on my cat to make sure I didn’t hurt him and I hide knives or put knives away if they’re left out in the kitchen or something. I also thought that I killed my friend’s grandpa because he was old and my brain instantly went into “what if he died?” And he died two months later from old age so I thought I had the power to kill someone by just thinking it.
I've been having intrusive thoughts that someone is out to get me Sprituality. I've been fine but I'm having these thoughts due to a past experience I had with someone. I feel like I'm alone with this.
Thank you so much. I am so happy seeing this. I am so scared of my intrusive thoughts, i've been diagnosed with OCD. Ive been having these EXACT thoughts since I was a kid, and really badly lately. Im scared because Im working for the first time and also Im going to college and I keep thinking "what if I kill someone" "what if I got crazy and make a fool of myself". Im so scared of myself. I get scared I might be dead. (TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS NEXT PART) I got put on lexapro 10 months ago and went into psychosis and mania , I actually became my worst fear, I was punching my partner for no reason, screaming, trying to kill myself daily, I would grab his steering wheel trying to kill us, I was hallucinating, the doctors were not helping I was begging for help. eventually I tried to stab him during a fight and I went to jail (my worst fear pretty much came true) I got off the lexapro and a bunch of other mind altering meds and I am back to my normal self, not aggressive at all. BUT now my intrusive thoughts /feel/ solidified/valid and they are 100% worse than ever, I hardly can be around my partner without thinking "what if I up and kill him" "what if it wasn't the meds and Im insane". I feel like I can never recover because I have a "valid" reason to fear myself. (this was hard for me but I needed to share it ive been very scared)
Does anyone create a new compulsion for them selves so that can avoid a different one? Like got so sick of all these compulsions going on around my bed, so now I just sleep on the floor and haven't touched my bed for the past 15 months.
It's so integrated into everything! Having OCD thoughts is like breathing. I share these "funny" thoughts about putting one of my cats into the microwave instead of my food, it's sounds so ridiculous hearing it though, it made me laugh. Isn't that an compulsion, checking if you really didn't do what your obsession thought "showed" you? My obsessive thoughts tend to be sexual or violent. One of my worst thoughts would be a necrophilic thought about my father's ashes in a church. That one never loses it's "charm". I'm not religious, but damn that's a wombo combo: Incest, necrophila, religious blasphemy and exibitionstic thoughts all in one. If i didn't know i had OCD, i probably wouldn't be alive right now. Do you guys and girls see yourself vividly in your mind doing the obsession? Or is that just me? Thanks for making another video about OCD. It's great that you can talk about these things so openly.
yeah, it really invades every part of your mind when it can. it's definitely a compulsion to check anything (ex. checking if i actually put my cat in the microwave) so i try not to do it but it just happen sometimes. i try not to get mad at myself for these little steps backwards because in the big picture i'm still moving forward. i do see the things vividly in my mind like you said you do, and that coupled with unwanted urges is pretty scary. thank you for sharing your thoughts!
@@kaliwallaceart Thanks, good to know. That's so hard to be fully aware of all the time. Yeah, beating yourself up is never the answer, but I definitely get why. This might sound weird, but finding humour in it helps me. Not like I'm forcing humour into It, but I just let myself react to the humour impulse when I feel it. I think it helps me normalize my thoughts, instead of being terrified of even closing my eyes or talking about it. It's been over 8 years now since my OCD fully blossomed. Do you have any tips on how to explain to people, when they're misinterpreting OCD for Autism? It recently happened to me with a friend. I just froze up and felt like shit. But my brother noticed that and made me feel a lot better. Good luck friend, on your road to recovery!
humor can help to remove you from the inside of your head, so why not use it as a tool? Hmm as far as the autism vs. ocd thing goes, i don't really have much experience with people relating the two. do you mean this person doesn't know you have ocd and might be attributing "weird" things they see you doing to autism? i don't mean to use the word"weird" as an offensive thing, i just know that someone acting on compulsions or clearly distressed by an obsession probably seems to be acting strange to someone who is not afflicted or at the very least doesn't understand the condition. my suggestion is always a very frank and open dialogue with your friends and those close to you, but i am lucky in being able to talk about it because i know many other people don't feel as free for various reasons. in my experience the more open i was about it the more other people could actually help me, for example they might not let me fall into a reassurance loop or have any part in a compulsion because they knew what to look out for already.
@@kaliwallaceart Indeed. Well, maybe it's poor wording from me. No offense taken. I was referring to the compulsion and how many people are misinformed by media and movies, thinking those with OCD have to keep their environments squeaky clean or keeping everything symmetrical. Sure that's possible with OCD too, but there is a completely different reason for doing so with OCD. Not to compare the two with each other. Both are very tough and brutal mental illnesses. Thank you, you're right. I just realised I was having obsessive thoughts about how awkward it would be if I talked about it with my friend. Which is impossible to know before I've even tried.
I’m scared that when i get mad I’ll stab the person who I’m mad at, and i have like a really specific thought about it in my head. Also every time I’m near a train station or busses/cars I have a thought of me jumping in front of it or falling under it and trying to run but just getting crushed
Hi , Thank you for sharing on such a real level. I am a 68 year old DAV with a severe emotional problem. I am good with it. It is what it is. But my 34 year old wonderful son life turned to a complete nightmare at 18 yrs. old when he saved our neighbor after being attacked by a 14 ft. alligator. He had to drop out of college and had to be hospitalize. OCD kicked in big time. Jerry was going to be a investment banker. He received our towns 911 award for saving Franks life. he has been sitting, suffering in his room ever since. with some hospital stays in between. I hope I can get him to watch your videos. They are great and so are you. thanks again.
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I’ve had the thought that what if I’m in a dream and nothing is real, what if I start stalking people, what if I lose all my emotions somehow, what if I’m a psychopath/sociopath, what if I become a mass shooter, what if I hurt someone, what if I’m sexually attracted to family members, the list can go on and on. Just to help some people relate. 😊
yep, i've had all of those too! for a long time i avoided the news because of mass shootings, thinking it was going to make me become one
Me too. I remember two thoughts I had when I was a kid, that popped up at least once a day. This was before I had it as intensely as now. One of them was me thinking I was the only human and everyone around me was artificial. If I would say something about it or even seem like I knew, I thought people (the robots) would report me and I would either get killed or sent away. Another one was me innocently thumbing up to a picture of dragon ball z character before I went to sleep. This evolved over time into a mantra where I had to say good night in my head with my thumb up to everyone I cared about or else I was convinced they would die. I also had to do it chronological order of which of them meant the most to me (meaning: which of them would die first if I had to choose). I also got convinced that 2012 21 12 would be the end of the world. I had this big plan what i was going to do. But at that time my OCD was as developed or whatever you would call It, as it is today. When you're in It, you're in It lol! Thanks for sharing!
@@kaliwallaceart Hey I have a question did you ever have thoughts about people like I thought I had the thought that I hate people which I really don't but then I became afraid of the thought Now I have thoughts about being afraid of people. Now I have been dealing with severe anxiety for 3months and this thought came up during this period if you had this thought how did you handle it?
i have had similar thoughts. you have to deal with it the ay you would deal with any other intrusive/OCD-related thoughts. you have to acknowledge that they're there, tell yourself they might be true, and go on with your day. it spikes your anxiety but over time you acclimate to it and your brain doesn't see it as a threat down the road. the content of the thought really doesn't have any part in how you go about facing it. hope that helps!
Oh my god same!!!! So many times I've thought what if this is all a dream somehow!!!!
My thoughts become so disturbing to the point where I was literally making faces while I thought about them. I even started to gag. Then I realized, hey... If I'm literally on the verge of throwing up, I definitely don't like the things that I'm thinking about. It's been tough but I feel like I'm in an almost complete recovery. I'm so sorry to anyone who is going through this.
Raghad not necessarily. You could definitely experience some other form of anxiety disorder or mental health issue but usually ocd hence it’s name is obsessive compulsive disorder. Usually obsessive thoughts cause people to do repeated actions (compulsions) to make the intrusive thoughts (obsessions) go away.
Megan no ocd doesn’t have to have compoltions
Research online Scientifically Proven as Our Lord Jesus blood type discovered in the Holy Eucharist as part of the Catholic Faith it's so amazing plus many more great Miracles in the Catholic Faith God Bless Take Care All 👏🕊☘ also look up Father Ripperger Exorcist Catholic Priest very knowledgeable on the Spirtual Dangers of Yoga & New Age Practises.
I have adhd and get intrusive thoughts and it so nice to hear that someone else reacts like that when they get them. Sometimes I flinch or tic and I hate if cause its noticeable
Yes indeed. Although I do not have this category myself and falls under the perfectionism one. Plus a cluster of phobias. Yes indeed because of my empathic nature is easy to get sick still thinking about it. Please take care. Indeed working a figurative night nurse shift as I write this to stabilize fight or flight system with MyoInositol powder in a saline dose of water. A lot of saline bags in hospitals are as tall as the one I have now. Been working at therapeutic dose from Pure Encapsulations 4.2 g X 4 per bid. Now a week at this dose and a lot of progress already with Nacetylcystiene 900 mg X 4 per bid as well sharing the same water to help. Yes sorry to hear any of the anxiety sith lord army clusters have to exist as well. In fact it seems my fight or flight system getting defeated as I speak actually! How exciting is that? With that same powder with the NAC to help along with a lot of fluid. Well please take care as well. It is as if we are the jedi nights defeating the sith lord army together! Please take care and wish you well.
Warmly,
Mark
Does anybody get triggered by the simplest things?? Like you'll see an Apple and apples are red and blood is also red and seeing blood freaks you out cause it reminds you of death and yeah so on.. its so absurd I hate it
sarahline this happens to me literally every little thing can trigger me somehow
Yeah
Yup
Sarahline. Its weird you mention that becasue I do the same thing. I do it towards makign a film or writing my book. I try to look at everything in an artistic way and how I could incorporate something into a book.
omg i am so happy to see this comment thank you so much this happens to me all the time and like really bad
My main intrusive thought is incest and it’s terrible but I’m glad to know that I’m not alone and it doesn’t make me a bad person
Zainab .J same Zainab me too! I guess you are muslim from your name? I am muslim too and this is so hard to deal with i wanted to die. How are your thoughts now?
Hannah's Choice it feels so bad. Its one of my worst intrusive thoughts so far, it feels so real, it feels like its your own feelings
Look up erp and mindfullness
Din Farsa yh it really does I’m disgusted 😔
It's ok. I've struggled with sexual deviancy intrusive thoughts too. You're not a bad person and it's just your mind playing tricks on you. Don't let it own you. 🧡
Reading the comments and realizing other people are going through what I'm going through makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. If you are going through this just know you are not a bad person and you are strong enough to get through it .
P.s. Having genuine good people around you (friends or family) will help a lot.
How you fell now?
Way better. Back then I literally thought my life would never be the same, now it's like a small inconvenience
@@dreamteamamv8177 Wow man,i have felling like my life is never gonna be the same and my big attraction to girls cant get back to me..is that normal in this time??im 100% sure im not gay tho..but this is killing me pls reply bro.
NLE NLE all you have to know is that it WILL get BETTER, it’s just going to take time, a lot of time. There’s going to be times where doubt creeps in but just trust me, Stay strong and be patient
NLE NLE I used to have really bad intrusive thoughts about harm and it got so bad I couldn’t even watch movies or play video games not even like Mario kart because I thought it was too “violent” but over time and with the help of some really close friends that believed in me I was able to get a lot better.
I have bad intrusive thoughts and I’m also quite spiritual so I think that people are going to pick up on my energy from my intrusive thoughts and be scared of me/think something is wrong/sick with me. It’s so hard. The guilt is crippling.
Oh my god this. This is so huge and it’s what literally FED my paranoia
I’ve been afraid a intuitive person will read my mind and know how messed up my thoughts are. the guilt is the worse part.
Eliana Sheridan
Totally.
I’m right there with you. Remember we are not bad people. I’m certain our energy is read over the nature of what our thoughts or rather thoughts that pass through our minds are. 🤍
Bella Jacome yep. 🤍
@@mjc441 thank you for replying❤️ i hope we can both find peace of mind
Some of my thoughts have been
What if I have hiv
What if I am a predator
What if I’m not real
What if I forget my family
What if I want to harm my dog
What if I’m not human
What if everyone hates me
What if I lose my memory
Do I have cancer
What if I go crazy
then just recently with things going on in my life
I thought I had DID
I thought I was developing dementia
I thought i was possessed or at risk of being possessed All of which caused me to have panic attacks. And the feelings and images that go with these thoughts are absolutely terrifying because I know it’s not true I know I would never do any of these things but in my mind I feel like it would become a reality that I just can’t deal with.
Been there! The hardest part for these is seeking certainty which we can never achieve. We can’t answer all these “what if” questions with a definitive yes or no. We just need to learn to live with the uncertainty.
17louii 😭 I’ve had all of these thoughts too. It’s amazing to see so many people posting their thoughts. When I’m in the compulsive moments non stop thinking about this crap I always think I’m so alone.
17louii the hiv one!!!! I went on a rampage one time and spent $600 on at home tests and going to different doctors. Smh.
Did they ever go away?
17louii me too man . Me too
I'm so fucking happy to know I'm not going crazy and I'm not alone with this
I have the worst ocd thoughts I've had the
-what if I become a killer
-what if I become a zoophile
-what if I'm a necrophilia
-what if I'm a 30 year old man
-what if I'm a 10 yr old boy
-what If my mom wasnt real
-what is I am schizo
-what if I have associative identity disorder [switching personalities}
Yeah I've had really silly thoughts but OCD makes it so convincing it's scary
yeah 1 year late but I experience so many of the exact same things
I thought of aaaall of that
The crackling in your voice reflects the pain and that the thoughts are still deep rooted somewhere.
The fear of your own mind is the worst feeling ever.
I'm not diagnosed with OCD, but in the past I've had thoughts such as 'What if deep down I think that rape is okay?' It freaks me out and then I start arguing with myself that I don't think it's okay at all! But I've really struggled with that thought and I tend to avoid any news stories or documentaries that mention rape. Not sure if this would be classed as OCD or not.
Has anyone else had this??
Yes I have this too sometimes, with different subjects. Its teribble and really drains my energy. I think it is ocd but I'm not sure, anyone knows this?
Sounds like ocd to me, so don’t worry you are not a bad person or anything .
I'm diagnosed OCD and have had this intrusive thought.
Don’t worry I’ve had this thought too, and also about different things. It does sound like OCD to me, so you should go see a therapist, the sooner the better!😄👍(Ps, I’m struggling hella wit this, but we got this! OCD ain’t shit)
I’m not diagnosed either but I think I have it, it’s not the same for everyone. I don’t have compulsions. All I have is like emotional ocd, intrusive thoughts and perfectionistic tendencies (idk if that’s ocd though).
You're have the most wonderful vibes.
I have multiple looping thoughts. The list could go on... My biggest thoughts that get stuck on a loop are: "What if I'm a serial killer?", "What if I'm a cannibal?", "Am I developing schizophrenia?" "Am I going to think people are out to get me?", "Am I losing touch with reality?"... to the point that I actually ask my my mom if sounds or things actually happened. If I cant find where a sound came from I'll think I hallucinated.
Intense harm ocd, homosexual ocd, and suicidal ocd. I'll start wondering if I won't be able to control myself and actually go through with it. I've tried to check myself in to the psych as Ive felt like that's the only thing that'll keep me and everyone safe.
I'm currently on a leave from work as I was sure I was losing my mind and developing some kind of psychosis.
I'm on the rebound but this spike took alot out of me. One thing it did make me realize is mental health facilitation can be horrendous.
But the people closest to you can be so understanding. If they dont, ditch em.
I'm so happy I stumbled upon this video. You're great and a breath of fresh air.
(Now let me read this post over 15 times so I dont sound delusional or crazy hahahaha.)
@Sofie u it's awful when going through it, But you'll always come around. Just give yourself time and try and stay positive! ❤
Ps don't google things haha
Adam Wyatt I have the schizophrenia obsession too omg it’s so bad, I get these loud thoughts and overthink things completely like if I’m hearing voices or am I going crazy and if what I heard was actually true it’s horrible. Why tf did I ever start googling😂
Adam Wyatt you explained everything how I felt😭😂
Same here bro.best of luck getting better
Catty Lynn really? May I hear your story and what you feel???
This made me laugh. And then it made me cry. I think this is the best video on OCD intrusive thoughts/Pure O I’ve ever seen. Thank you for making this. ❤️
i am almost 100% sure i’ve got ocd. it doesn’t really show up now, but it sure did when i was younger. mine was so bad & now it’s faded away. for anybody reading this its gonna get better & you aren’t alone. God loves you & He knows you aren’t a bad person and He knows you aren’t crazy. even if you are undiagnosed like me, it’s gonna get better and God has your future in His hands. no matter what they say. and to you...thank you for making this video. it’s so cool to be able to laugh at what hurt you so badly once. you are needed. i needed this.
thanks, glad you found my videos! ocd can come and go, it's all in the natural ebb and flow of how the illness works. i hope you can stay in a good place and equip yourself with the tools you need to get better if things start to go south again.
nihaokaili wow thank you so much!!! you too❤️
Thank for this comment💕
I have all kinds of thoughts. It all started with HOCD, but now everything is much more intense. Some of mine are:
-what if i'm crazy? What if I lose touch with reality? What if I become delusional? These ones are the most scary for me
-What if I'm a psycopath? What if I kill my whole family?
-What if I'm attracted to my mom?
-(this is kinda connected to the "being crazy" obsessions) What if we are all robots? This just popped out of nowhere and it really screwed me up because it made me feel crazy. Like, WHY WOULD I BELIEVE THAT?
And the list goes on and on
same. i have thoughts about killing. i feel so distraught, when i think about it, i start to not be able to breathe, ill cry, etc. i told my sister and she told me its normal. she googled it and its normal to think about. if your dealing with this, just know, you cant control what you think about.
I have similar thoughts, like when i see knife anywhere i am afraid i might do something bad with it to my family... And the worst thought right now is that my brain keeps on telling me that i might be crazy. Then that word will keep on repeating on my brain... Crazy, insane, ....
@@aswanghalimaw Your not crazy! It's been a few months and I feel a lot better :) My experience is that you should distract yourself.
@@audri6505 thanks. My crazy thoughts are now gone. Though they come and go.
@@audri6505 I'm so sorry I have that too. Your thoughts don't define u
OMG, GUYS, READING SOME OF THE COMMENTS ARE SO COMFORTING, I ALWAYS THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY PERSON WHO GET THESE ANNOYING DISTURBING THOUGHTS, I WANNA CRY, THESE THOUGHTS WONT FUCKING STOP
hi? can you please let me know how you’re doing now? i’m trying to get over hocd?
@@itzelytube3726 Ive had it for 2 years and ive thought every intrusive thought that you may think so dont worry also those thoughts arent yours they are a misfiring in your brain
@@ck-zo3yd thank you! I’ve gotten much better ☺️🤞🏼
@@itzelytube3726 Glad to see we are both doing well! Peace and Good luck on your journey
@@ck-zo3yd thank you, likewise 🙏🏼
You don’t even know how much it helps that you shared this with us. Thank you for being so open and sharing. It makes me feel like I’m not the only one and I’m not this psycho person that needs put down
I suffer from ocd like crazy. I went to a therapist for years. I haven’t been for a while but the stuff I learned with her has continued to help me. But the corona virus situation is really affecting my mental health and causing me to remember old triggers :(
I feel sorry for you - meds solved most of the issue for me in the time space of a few weeks.
@@rafopderand8524 can u tell me what meds you took please
i went from if im a lesbian if i’m pansexual if i’m transgender if i’m bisexual if i have cancer if ill die tommrow for some odd reason. it’s crazy
Same...
I went from am I lesbian or bi or straight annoying but it didn’t start with that
Dude same. This all started w me and my body. Then went to oh end of the world then to what If were in a simulation to then my sexuality to then what if I'm mentally I'll. What if I have a brain tumor. What if I do this or that. Its fukcing crazy.
I’m diagnosed with anxiety, and questioning of I have ocd. And for years, on and off I’ve had this deep rooted fear that I’m having a stroke. To the point where I’ve almost been taken to the hospital. Once I got hit by a car and eighth grade and I got up and ran to the nurse because I was terrified that I hit my head and was having a stroke. And it comes back sometimes if my head hurts, and I can not sleep
This is crazy, I thought I was the only one with the cannibal fear lol. It seems ridiculous looking back. I was so afraid of telling anyone. Thank you for making these videos they really help people who don’t want to tell anyone
That’s why I always say, no matter how weird or original your ocd tries to be, it’s already been done before😂 but you’re welcome, glad it helps!
Quarantine has brought out the worst in my anxiety. Like the first 3-4 month I was fine, but the last 1-2 month I’ve had intrusive thoughts that honestly had given me so much anxiety. I generally always knew I have had anxiety, but now it has evolved quickly. Like she said the worst thoughts for me are in the morning and before going to sleep. Which lead me to not having a good night of rest like I used too. Lately my thoughts have been about scary stuff. For example, I was usually a scary movie fan and like anything that dealt with the unknown. But suddenly one movie just triggered so much. Like are there ghost in my house, is that noise in the house something unexplained, are having these types of though inviting the bad stuff. At lot of ‘’what if’’ and now I can’t watch anything that deals with supernatural stuff because I panic and my head runs wild. I really hate this.
I am having the same things partially , but my ocd is mainly harm ocd so yea...
A lot of people think OCD is just keeping their house clean and straighten crooked pictures. I've had it all my life but it gave me a lot of benefits I can draw a map of the world and name and locate every single nation because I had a compulsion to look up maps and draw them but I also have very strange ones almost like I can control future events if I touch something a certain way I have convinced myself in the past that I may be schizophrenic which I am definitely not. I am not normally paranoid but sometimes think of the possibility of somebody else reading all my thoughts LOL and being able to see what I see through my eyes I don't entertain it I think wow I wonder if this could really happen? But OCD is actually creativity also I am an artist and most people with OCD are very creative
Buspirone could help you
OMG OMG NO WAY I ADMIRE SO MUCH FOR SAYING THIS . I literally had the exact same first thought and could not eat at all for about a month and kept having nausea and my mom even brought me to see a doctor because she was worried I felt so sick . I never told anyone about it , all I did was watching documentaries about it to inform myself on the subject and tell my brain how bad it is and how I don’t want to be this kind of person . I was feeling so down , it was one of the worst episode of my life , it was during the pandemic so I think this triggered it too. I also want to add that this is one of the thing that disgusts me the most so I was so confused , I always have thoughts about what I hate most and what traumatised me the most .
Edit : I had all the exact same thoughts in the video , it’s like I’m speaking in the vid . Wow tysm
I personally wanted to be taken to a mental hospital or smth .
This video was sooo helpful and has given me so much joy and peace that I’m not alone. Thank you!
I don't have OCD but this video was encouraging to me. I have depression and anxiety.
I have PTSD with depression, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts. I agree. OCD also runs in my family (my grandmother cleans and my aunt (grandma is her mother) organizes, and her kids rutine/organization.
Journey Rivenburgh God bless you ❤️
intrusive thoughts arent just symptoms of ocd they can be symptoms of anxiety or depression too
I'm a 20 year old female. Never had sex and to be completely honest I think that's what caused my intrusive thoughts. I guess it makes me more curious because I don't have any experience whatsoever. I feel so guilty and ashamed and just hearing someone say they have had the same thoughts as me or they have the same struggles makes me feel a little better. I have no clue if I have OCD. I haven't been to a doctor or a therapist but I would like to. I recently told my mom that I thought I had OCD and she kind of laughed and said that she works with people with OCD and said that I don't have it. But I guess she doesn't know that it's not just cleaning and washing it's about your thoughts too. I feel like my thoughts are haunting me and I just want to feel better. If anyone is going through this too please just know you are not alone 💕😭
This was so helpful! I suffer from strange, disturbing, gross thoughts and I don’t know if I suffer from OCD, my thoughts have started days ago and I’ve suffered anxiety and disturbing weird thoughts.
@Magnificent 26 same
thank you so much for sharing this!! i haven’t been diagnosed but i’ve been dealing with this for so long. i usually avoid searching up things like this because i was always terrified i’d have the worst of the worst and although havin this is equally as terrifying, you sharing your experience makes me realize im not alone. i seriously thought i was going crazy. after dealing with this for so long i finally decided im gonna ask for therapy and i hope it helps. my sister also dealt with ocd and she doing so much better today, she is my role model and gives me hope. and so do people like you, once again, thank you for making me feel like im not crazy 🥺
I'm 23 and never knew that OCD was more then weird habits or washing your hands over and over and over.
I've been terrified be thoughts that get stuck in my head and unwanted impulses for so long. They've made me feel isolated, but to afraid to reach out. It's such a relief I'm not the only one
Thank you so much! I got diagnosed 3 years ago! I am 28. I've realized that I get triggered when big change happens. The first time or "onset" was when my husband left for training for 5 months and I was left with my 2 kids in California alone. I'm from Texas, but hubby is in the Military so we were stationed in California. I was fine for the 2 first months, then the had a lot going on like working, taking care of 2 sick kids and I was sleep deprived and then Easter day I started getting intrusive thoughts about hurting my kids or what if I sexually molested them. I was so distraught and couldn't believe those thoughts were in my head. I thought I must be an evil person. My rituals were me going over in my head how I was a good person because I gave a homeless man money, or I cried when other people hurt, how much I care about my kids and their well being. I would ruminate about how much I loved them . It was so scary and I thought I was alone. I was so scared to tell a therapist because I was terrified they would take my babies from me. I knew I would never do any of the thoughts but then my mind would go to well other moms have killed their kids what if I turn to be like them.. it was so terrifying and I struggled for a whole year even with therapy and even when my husband got back. I think I was so traumatized by the thoughts I couldn't let them go. Finally, I felt better and started living a normal life OCD free , little thoughts would pop up but I would identify them and know exactly what the thoughts were and I was able to move on... Now, I have a lot of change coming. We are moving to Japan, I quit my job to prepare for move, and my best friend moved back home because her hubby deployed. I started getting thoughts like, what is our purpose in this life, we are so little in such a big world. I am obsess over it and start to ritualize and try to come up with answers but the answers are never satisfying. It started with that and now I'm getting thoughts about what if I hurt my kids and they aren't able to enjoy the beaches in Japan so I'll ritualize and picture them older and how happy we are all then another intrusive thought will be like but there was a lady on the news who killed her 12 year old what makes you different from her. These thoughts are so traumatizing and they make me sad and I keep reminding myself that it's just OCD, and this is just temporary and I've gotten through it before. I know it's triggered by all the change happening in my life but it's weird because the thought are unrelated to anything. I hate this but I know I'll get through it. Thank you all for sharing your stories. Makes me feel not alone ❤️
Blitz Playz Yt thank you 🙏 for sharing. I am having the same extract feelings 😞 It helps knowing I am not alone.
Thank you for sharing. Stay strong beautiful!
Thank You for sharing. I'm going through the same 😭
Dude I so wish I can talk to u . Omg I feel the exact but just not incest with my kids . And I'm understanding there just thoughts. I love my kids
@@SuperMalikaz me too
I think I am relapsing a little bit :( thanks God for this video
Me too. You're not alone! ❤️ You'll get through it again.
@@ruthlesscricket8178 the fact that you are scared to do it and have fear shows that you don't want to and never will. It's just a fear. You'll be ok. Your thoughts have nothing to do with who you are as a person. Make some space between the thoughts and yourself.
I’m relapsing also but reading these comments are SUPER helpful. And helping me realize that something I’m doing is wrong bc of the relapse and forcing me to really look into what’s causing the stress what’s causing this relapse or why my techniques aren’t working anymore.
I find so much comfort in knowing other people are struggling with the same things, thank you for being so brave and sharing this❤️
Ive never watched you before but ive been struggling with OCD for over 10 years and have been in therapy (ERP!) for over three, and this video was just so encouraging!
We have/had a lot of the same obsessions/compulsions and its so great to hear you just vocalize them and challenge them!
OCD is such a stigmatized illness, and its so illogical most times! You really are making a difference!
Ive never heard someone with some of the same harm OCD thoughts. OCD is such a bitch sometimes and I just wanted to say thank you for being so open and amazing! Thank the lord for ERP am I right!
So you're telling me it's not an uncommon OCD fear to think that this reality is just an illusion or some kind of prank being played on me? God I thought I was the biggest nut case for thinking that, but the oh so wonderful part about OCD is no matter how much evidence is presented for an existential fear the mind still finds a way to go "ehh idk about that dawg could use more evidence".
Yup. And that cycle will keep going and going until you stop responding to those thoughts. Very hard to do. I know. Ive been there. If you want any assistance in learning how to leave this in the past feel free to email me abraham.valera001@gmail.com
Omg relatable🙊 I cried happy tears watching this! I feel like I'm in a similar position as you now where I can look back and laugh at obsessions I have had and compulsions I've done! Thank you for this video!
I get a combination of urges, unwanted thoughts & images of me doing terrible things.
I had the urge to drive my car off of bridges, so I stop driving on bridges. When I cross a bridge I can see myself driving off in mind and it makes me question if I have did it already. Am I falling or am I driving.
I had the urge to drive my car into the concrete barrier, although I want to live, so I no longer drive on freeways. The same thing with the images of me seeing myself driving into the barrier. I once had to scream loud to make the images stop, so I could focus on the road.
I have the urge to run red lights
When I’m driving, I’m always thinking of ways I could die in a car wreck. Like what if this car start coming the wrong way. What if this truck come over on me.
Driving is exhausting for me and I hardly do it.
I used to want to jump out of moving vehicles but I don’t really do that anymore.
When I take a pill, I always have to double check to make sure my suppositories are still in the draw to make sure I didn’t accidentally take them.
I taught my baby niece at a young age how to clean her on self because I was afraid that I may touch her wrong. Although I’m disgusted by child molesters.
I’m very hyper sensitive around children because of the things done to me and I’m afraid that I may do it.
I have the urge to shout out obscenities during the wrong time. Like when it’s quiet or during prayers.
I have the urge to sometimes cut family members. So I will avoid knives when I have those thoughts.
Sometimes when the loops won’t stop, I will scratch myself or pinch myself to redirect my thoughts. I try not to do that as much now.
I have the urge to hurt people physically or to hurt myself.
It seems the most horrible acts cross my mind and I want to do them because I don’t want to do them not sure if that make sense.
Hey, just found this. Im so sorry that you are going theough this. I have PTSD with intrusive thoughts, and I get simlar ones to yours.
I have had sexual devency thoughts (kids, family members, animals, friends), incest thoughts, and times where I had thoughts of being sexually assaulted by members of my family.
I have had thoughts of violence towards others, but mostly I get thoughts of people causing me harm, people hurting each other, or hurting myself. For example, I work in a sewing shop, and I have had thoughts of stabbing myself in the hands with needles.
I have had thoughts of having alergic reactions to shrimp (even though i do not (my cousin is deathly alergic to peanuts).
Sometimes when I walk across crosswalks I have thoughts of people being run over.
I have had thoughts of animals attacking me.
When I was younger I had a lot of self deprication thoughts.
Most of the time I have thoughts of monsters following me / stalking me. Something under the bed, in the closent, in the shower, in the dark, behind me, in the hallway you name it. People faces melting and morphing into things.
I know they arnt real, and that they dont show who I am, and that im not a bad person, but they are still scary. Your not alone.
I have also smacked myself on the hand to get myself together.
I know this is old but how are you doing now?
Omg!!! Thank you for posting this. My ocd has just kicked off this year and it’s been so bad just these last two weeks and I’ve been feeling like I have to kill myself just to escape these thoughts. I’m embarrassed to talk about it and admit I have these thoughts. On Monday I felt like quitting my job and just telling everyone I’m a monster. And everyone says that not reacting to them will allow them to pass, but every single thought feels like acid to my brain and body. It’s so hard to live with this.
How are you doing now?
I have intrusive thoughts all day long and i am afraid to talk to my dr and case worker about them because of the nature of them
don’t be scared. the comments above are a perfect example, i’m suffering from this badly, like badly. i contemplate suicide. attempted it recently. i know you don’t know me but i won’t judge you. i’m here for you!
@@lg97x I also contemplated suicide sadly
Same here anyway we all going to overcome that. It takes time only but it will subside eventually.
Omg I’ve had so many of these! The stalking one started for me recently and I thought I was the only one that had that one! This definitely gave me a few laughs. Not laughing at your pain, but sometimes saying our thoughts out loud makes them realize how silly they can be! 😂 we’re all in this together though!
haha that's good! yeah like i said, when you're in the middle of it it seems like a life and death situation but when you can look at it from the outside, it has a level of humor to it
nihaokaili oh yes and I definitely think I’m still in the spot where it feels so scary and worries me more than anything, but I’m in therapy and working with ERP so hoping that will pass soon. It’s weird because some moments I’ll just have a moment of clarity and be like oh, this isn’t actually me it’s my OCD! But unfortunately, most of the time I’m left with that constant worrying and what if train of thinking. OCD sucks but I’m having faith it can get better. And seeing stories like yours give me hope so thanks so much for posting. 💕
it's okay, the fact that you're even able to view any of it with humor and recognize when something is OCD and not a legitimate threat is great progress! continue as you have been and you'll see a world of difference. i won't lie, i definitely have bad days still but now because of ERP i am equipped with the ability to separate myself from what's happening and get back on track. you got this! :)
I related so much to this! Thanks for making people who actually have OCD not feel so alone...
Sure thing! It can feel super lonely, but check out any of the comment sections on my OCD videos and you'll quickly find a little community we've built here to discuss these things freely :)
I think talking about it helps the most. I've been having these thoughts since I was 10. I'm 19 and they are even worse. My problem is that I imagine things. I mean like multiple lives in my mind. (I never had a close family or friends so I imagine I did) Anyway an example would be I would be imagining us having dinner and then have a thought of spitting in their food and stabbing them. That hurts more because the imagination IS thoughts. I have them with things outside my mind aswell some examples are
1. Insulting and cussing someone out after they said hi to me including children
2. Acting like a hardass asshole
3. Injuring and murdering children, babies, innocent people and family
4. Liking things I hate
5. Just being an evil nasty person
These thoughts haunt my life and imagination and I find them unbearable to endure as I'm the exact opposite of all things listed. I try tons of methods of removing them but nothing ever works. I would give myself a headache trying to suppress them and I would cry myself to sleep if I can't.
(Bruh my thoughts are graphic as hell that list above is only a few)
Talking to someone is the only that really helps me but few people understands me 😖
chad freshkidd i have this and im telling you you can overcome this! with prayer time and exposure respnse therapy a lot of it has roots in trauma
I needed this I know you posted this a year back... but I been getting so many panic attacks because of intrusive thoughts. I HATE IT, but I’m remembering it’s not who I am. I am not my thoughts and I never will be. I just repeat it until I’m calming down.
I watched this video and just cried and cried.. I feel like I finally understand myself. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your story.
I'm here for you
i'd love to open up a bit. one of my first intrusive thoughts started when i was scrolling through youtube on my phone and i saw this thumbnail of this person with a open pair of scissors through their eyes and i had this moment that set it all off where i was like "What if i gouged my eyeballs out right now? what's stopping me" and its a weird feeling to describe. it feels so real and feels like your reality is a dream or delusion and that in real life you are doing that thing in particular. i felt so alone and depressed. i felt like i was going crazy and that suicide would be my only way out. i remember how hard it was. i was crippled. i slept almost two weeks straight only getting up briefly to eat. i couldn't hardly cope. even now those days are still hard to recall but eventually i realized i couldn't just lay around and waste away i had to do something to help myself, so around that time my tv broke and i couldn't really replace it i was also broke lol anyway's i got caught up in this mini adventure at the time the living room was the only place i could fufill my gaming fix so i moved my ps3 to the living room i spent so many late nights playing it out there. and to be honest it kept my mind busy for the time. i re did my room and moved my electronics to the other side of my room and my bed to the other side i added a desk and had 2 small square vga monitors, i got a vga to hdmi adapter for that and connected my ps3/xbox one/ xbox 360 to that and my computer to the other monitor, i started researching what i was feeling, i found out i have harm ocd pretty bad too, i found a few channels like hayley's life through a lense and your channel for the first time if you can believe it hahah i started trying to overcome it, and i did. for a while, its come and gone with various compulsions and intrusive thoughts of many uncomfortable variety's but i'm persevering and channels like you make me feel alot better about all of it and even though those times were rough i look back on them as a growing experience. i felt and still do feel like i cant share this with my family because if they knew this stuff they'd never understand and think i was crazy. so thank you for your help in helping me cope with my own ocd and i hope you guys enjoyed my rambly harmd ocd story and that it has helped at least one of you out there relate :)
i've had so many of these myself that i spent the whole video with a big stupid grin on my face and nodding profusely. so relatable, especially the way you described poisoning your pets' food already but not being able to remember. XDD
Just know that you’re not alone. I’m right here with you. We’re all going through the same thing. And even if you feel helpless, you can distract yourself with drawing or music or writing your thoughts down (it seems terrifying to me so I would never do it). But maybe the fact that you’re afraid of these things is good and it means that you know that they’re wrong. Maybe we all get thoughts, but our brains work differently and hold onto them. Maybe you are ok. Maybe you are perfect the way you are. Instead of thinking the bad “maybe” thoughts, try thinking about the good ones. There are so many ways to recover. Even though I haven’t yet, I’m going to therapy, and you should consider it too. Everyone in this comment section is going through the same thing, so we should support each other. I believe in you and I love you all. You don’t deserve to be tortured by your mind. You’re not a bad person.
I came across your video while streaming the internet about my thoughts... a compulsion right?
I have been having harmful thoughts for almost exactly a month now... I remember the exact thought that started it. I started therapy but she diagnosed me with PTSD but all I have been able to think about the last month is the fear that I would lose control and hurt my family or literally any stranger. It's made me feel super disconnected from the world. I started taking medication (Zoloft) and it seems to have helped a little. It doesn't help that for the last year I have binged watched multiple true crimes shows and that just adds on to my fears. Like I know that I would never hurt anybody but these fucking thoughts man. It gives me hope to come across these videos. Thank you for sharing!
Scary movies/ shows are a trigger for me, my advice to you is stay away from them! It always freaks me out after watching them
Trish thanks for replying! I’ve stayed away as much as possible. I’m actually a little bit better now as I hope you are too!
Alexia Gibson I am trying to cope! Thank you
Thank you for this video I’ve had a hard day with my ocd and this made me feel so much better and more “normal”
Just now watching this,, been there, had all those thoughts. Fear of harming others, pedo, etc,, it's all scary. Satan uses this as a really big tool against us. Hearing that others go through this too helps :) God bless you
Amen
Currently my main intrusive/obsessive thought is regarding morality/the purpose of being moral. It’s like a kind of philosophical OCD where I keep asking myself and reading about what people/philosophers say is the point of doing the right thing. I keep having these thoughts like why should I care about others and not just myself or why should I not do something like steal for my own personal gain because as long as it benefits me then why worry about anything else. It also goes deeper, as in if I were never taught or socialized that such acts are wrong/immoral would I still feel empathy and similar emotions. These thoughts scare me, and only seem to worsen as I try to untangle them and prove that it’s not who I am. When I think I’ve got it all figured out, the thought of “who cares about others and what they think” just creeps back up. These thoughts are a vicious paradoxical cycle. It’s funny because these just started super recently out of absolutely nowhere. I haven’t had intrusive thoughts at all for the past 6 years and now they’re just back, and in a new and scary variety. I’ve had a wonderful upbringing, a close relationship with God, awesome friends, and I’m doing well in college. Most importantly, I’ve always despised crime and have always tried to be the most caring, compassionate, and understanding soul possible. It’s like these thoughts are trying to tempt me toward a dark path. I believe I’ll be alright as I’ve gone through it before, I just wish my brain would stop trying to rationalize being a narcissistic criminal with no regard for others. Just remember my fellow OCD sufferers; we’re not alone and we can, no, we WILL get through this!
My ocd started out as hocd (what if im gay) then overtime just became a general fear of warping anything any situation to become bad/disgusting. I've been learning more about metaphysical spirituality and recently became kinda stuck on the 'what if im the only one that exists and everyone else and the whole world is just my imagination' , which really messed with my head :( because its based on the law of belief whatever you believe becomes true and manifests for you. Im aware i may be misintepreting it but ugh wish my mind could just stop
thoughts related to sexuality are common and really distressing for a lot of people. i have also had those weird existential thoughts as well, and those are super disorienting because you start to question EVERYTHING. unfortunately we can only control our reactions to the thoughts, not the actual thoughts themselves. if we could control what popped into our head, none of us would have a problem. i would just approach that by challenging it and saying "yeah, maybe i AM the only one who exists. this whole world is just my imagination" and shrug and go get a cup of coffee or something, lol. even if you have to fake it til you make it, eventually your mind will lay off once you acclimate to to the spikes.
haha oh well such mad little things our minds are really. in both good and bad ways. Anyway I just want to thank you for being the first person I came across who kinda normalized intrusive thoughts and showed me that having these thoughts and experiences are okay and doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with us, and in fact we are still cool and amazing human beings as well
I have similar problems with OCD!!! I've been into metaphysical spirituality for a long time now and I've been afraid that I'll somehow launch myself into another dimension while I'm asleep and not be able to come back or what if I'm under a psychic attack or something... Those ones are the hardest because it's harder to prove whether they're real or not I try to tell myself they're just thoughts but then my mind remembers that thoughts can manifest so my argument becomes invalid basically.
@@Hawthorn6852 omg can we chat pls i have been trying so hard to find another person who can relate i feel like im going crazy just thinking all these insane stuff i cant reveal to others about. Do u know of any spiritual communities i can join for the sake of my sanity by any chance
@@weili585 Yes we can chat! I know of a few groups on facebook, but so far I've only found one UA-cam channel that talks about OCD related to metaphysical spirituality called ScarletMoonMagic I think but I haven't watched very many of his videos so I don't know for sure how many actually talk about it.
This video goes for 22:22 minutes, if you believe in signs.. look up the meaning 2222! Relates so much to this.😅 thank you for sharing your light for others that are struggling with OCD thinking. Your helping and guiding others.💜🙏
Talisha Ripikoi posted on the 22nd of August too. 🦄
Did the things you talked about in the video feel like urges? like it felt like you wanted to do something you find horrifying and scary but then you tell yourself you wouldn't do that but they just keep coming back? I'm also afraid of it getting worse, which it kind of has, im just so afraid that it will get so bad I'll do something. When you were having those thoughts about your family, was there a way for you to be around them without freaking out? Because It's so hard to be around them, even though i love them so much.
Sunflower All of what you’re describing is very typical of OCD and that “impulse” or “urge” feeling is normal. It’s common to question whether you truly WANT to act on your thoughts because after ruminating on them for so long, we all become a bit numb and this can be mistaken for complacency. Your OCD may indeed become worse from one time to the next but it will never progress to the point that you will actually act on your thoughts. I’m 28 years old and have been dealing with harm OCD since the age of 13, though I consider myself in recovery since age 25. I haven’t harmed anyone yet lol. As anxiety inducing as it is, you need to be around your family like normal. Avoiding them only contributes to the OCD. If you can get into therapy, I highly recommend it.
@@shelby7197 Okay thanks I was scared I was actually going to act on this.
Thank you so much for this video .I could totally relate to you and I felt so calm knowing that others go through the same and I am not alone in this ,that I am not insane or anything, I am not a bad person .I struggle with thoughts like killing my closed ones ,harming them ,being attracted to someone else and cheating my partner ,sexual thoughts with my family members ,and sometimes literally anyone and it troubles my mind ,pedophilia sometimes ,killing my self ,what if I commit suicide ,or what I I jump off and a lot of these that I barely remember. I am learning these days that these thoughts don't mean anything anf I am a good person ,and I treat myself with kindness and compassion and watching videos like yours help me a lot to accept myself anf love myself .Thank you for sharing these thoughts .I love you .I literally love you so much my bestie .♥️♥️
❤️
seeing your videos and hearing about your weird ocd thoughts it's like I can let out a breath I was holding in I've been struggling with weird intrusive thoughts I have not been professionally diagnosed with harm OCD or pure o but I have seen a therapist and she said she has 0 worries about me hurting someone I'm a huge family person an animal lover and I also paint and draw so I can relate to you so much I also work for an airline and travel a lot lol even though I hate flying .. I do take a low dose of ativan when I travel because like you I can't sleep so I just sit there feeling terrible and anxious.. I have had thoughts about getting up in the middle of the night and stabbing my fiancee and then what my life would be like in prison or if I'd be put in a psychiatric hospital what his family would be like and then thinking I'm a monster and I should leave him or kill myself I thought about drinking antifreeze and have had thoughts that as I'm typing this to delete it and avoid saying this I just want to thank you so much for telling your story and I cried when I watched the first video because I related and realized I'm not crazy and I'm glad you are not medicated I was thinking I might need medication but I don't want to be dependent upon that I want to continue to live my life be happy and get married so thank you again ❤
I totally relate! I've struggled with intrusive thoughts my whole life. I'm not diagnosed nor have I told anyone. This video made me cry. I'm so relieved that I'm not the only one.
Update it's been 1year since I posted this and I am now happily married and most importantly HAPPY lol my therapist has closed my file although I do still have her number just in case I was diagnosed with anxiety which can trigger OCD and given so many helpful coping technics. I also learned to redirect any anxiety or anxious moments that may bring on anything and haven't had weird thoughts in so long 😊🤞 my biggest advice to any one who may think they are crazy .. your not lol crazy people don't think they are crazy! Lol and if you are having issues don't be afraid to talk about it you will be surprised with the amount of people who struggle with something. 😙
@@jadebertolini8316 hey I know this comment is old but how are you doing now
sometimes when we have these types of anxieties is because our brain is wired differently such as a highly sensitive person! (HSP) HSP tend to have a brain that is extremely sensitive to noises and almost everything surrounding them. the brain is different to the "normal" brain.
Thank you for your video! My son has this type of OCD, he is 10! Your sweet spirit spirit and willingness to share your store encourages me and helps me help my son and make sure he has what he needs! Your awesome!
Thank you! I’m glad to hear it and I wish you guys the best of luck on the road ahead!
Faith Durden its horrible because a lot of times even professionals think the people are dangerous and thats just not the case
9:05 Holy shit. Never even told my drs that because I thought that was so weird to even think. Thank you for clarifying that I'm not alone.
I'm so glad that right now I'm almost symptom free....apart from some weird "I'm having or I will get a deadly desease" ...sweet ocd Life...not!😅 But you just have to learn to live with the thoughts. Guess the worst part for me was the depersinalisation and derealisation I was going through. Because the thoughts get okay after a while and they don't have that power over you anymore...I related to that video so much...I've been suffering from ocd for 13 years now on and off. Right now I'm mostly good but I know that can change🤷🏼♀️I feel like most people don't really get what ocd actually is so they missuse the Term a Lot so thank you so much for that video. Ocd really is awful. I've been going through most of the thoughts you had😱
You're so beautiful, I've suffered from OCD for a long time, seeing this video I could relate in almost every way, I think although it can feel difficult at times to try compassionate detachment toward my thoughts, to try observe and witness my thoughts with compassion than engaging with them, but I completely sympathize cos OCD can feel very distressing and tormenting, but well done for having the courage to make this video well done xx :)
I know I'm super late in commenting but this video is everything!!! This helps me so much during such a hard time with this new diagnosis. Every single thought you've had is something I've thought of and it scared the crap out of me!!! And I truly felt I am crazy and that nobody would understand. It literally feels like my head is going to explode or like if I can feel my mind changing to some evil brain....this is ridiculous lol
OCD can become such a viscous cycle. You literraly think you belong in a mental hospital. But in reality we just have to unlearn bad mental coping skills and learn new ones that benefit us. I know how bad it can get, ive been there. But you can leave all this behind. If you want any assistance with OCD i can help. Email me at abraham.valera001@gmail.com
Thank you so much for this video. I'm pretty sure my pure o "D-Day" happened 6 days ago and I'm going to a crisis clinic to get some perspective and hopefully a referral to a therapist. Hearing the things you've worried about has made me realize so many times since I was a kid that I've been struggling with this without knowing it. You've inspired me so much. I know I will get through this, it just takes time.
hey! my “d day” was back in October. the first weeks or even months will be the hardest. i’m still going through it but i’ve definitely gotten better. I literally got super suicidal at one point but i’m better now! i’m definitely looking forward to the day where I can be my normal self again. I had lost all hope but i’m regaining it. hang in there!
@@itzelytube3726 Thanks for your reply 😊 I'm glad to hear you're doing well. My visit to the mental health clinic went great. I'll be starting a CBT counseling program this month and getting a referral to a psychiatrist this week. I've been doing ERP exercises on my own and practicing mindfulness/meditating and I feel so much better every day.
@@reclaimer0073 I am so happy for you! If i can give you one big big piece of advice when it comes to overcoming OCD is what you've been practicing on your own Meditation/Mindfulness. Coming from someone that has left that mental disorder behind, it was difficult but not impossible. If you ever need some assistance you can always email me. abraham.valera001@gmail.com. I can show you tips and tricks that ive learned in my journey.
Thank you so much! This really helped me feel less alone and be able to relate.❤️
I have been diganosed with ocd for almost 6 years now, hearing your story and the thought you have. Has made me feel not alone and brought me back down from a scary dark place. Thank you so much for making this video!! You really gave me hope, and that I can actually fight these thoughts.
i decided to write down my reoccurring intrusive thoughts, and it kinda helped me rationalize and realize how stupid/strange a lot of them are. it helped ease my worry, at least temporarily. here’s my list:
spiders in my drinks
bugs crawling on my hands
people breaking in from my garage
someone shooting me when i get up to pee at night
crushing my pets under recliner
bugs in my vagina
dirty water splashing up when i pee
car accidents
bombs and shootings in public places
people taking pictures of me through windows from outside at night
people around me are fake and i’m imagining them
a lot of them are about bugs which is so strange because i’m not scared of them at all 😂
Hey so do you still read the comments on this video even though this was a year ago? Great video btw, thanks for sharing!
Sure do, when I think of looking👍 my notifications don’t work so I’m usually late, haha
@@kaliwallaceart Good! I forgot what i wanted to say that 2 weeks ago, but good to know you read I guess! :P
When my OCD was especially bad around my high school years I would spend an hour or two per night laying out my clothes for the next day on the ground exactly how I'd wear them because I thought that if I didn't (like if there was a wrinkle or crease) that I would then break the body part that the crease was in (like I would break my leg if my jeans were wrinkled). Interesting how many different thoughts our brains can come up with.
May you please try Buspirone
Thank you so much for uploading your OCD stories, before I found out that what I had was ocd, I was very scared that I was a horrible person. Ever since I found out it was ocd I've been able to control my panic attacks and my horrid thoughts better. I legit thought I was either being possessed or doomed to be a murderer. My compulsions revolved around hiding sharp objects and not going outside because I was scared I would just go insane and lose control of my mind and body etc.. I've only experienced these things for the passed month so they're quite fresh to my mind, I was so scared that I was gonna hurt someone that id have to get rid of myself. But ever since I found out it was OCD and not my actual thoughts, I was able to more or less stop them, however they're creeping back into my thoughts and I'm getting worried again, I keep on thinking "what if it isn't ocd" "what if I want to hurt someone" "what if I am a monster". But I know it'll pass and with the right help, I can get better. And I hope that anyone reading this and is struggling, we can get thoguht it together. We aren't bad people.
I can totally relate! Even just a few years ago when I had my main onset there was not a lot of info online, but luckily I've seen more and more recently. Hopefully it is easier for people to find out what is going on with them now than it was when I was at my worst, not knowing what was happening. I hope you're doing okay!
just to help anyone with these thoughts or just to relate, some of my thoughts have been:
what if i’m in a dream and no one else is real
what if i’m not a human and this isn’t my body
what if i’m going to hurt someone close to me because they aren’t real
what if i stop trying in school because it’s not real
what if i wake up and i’ve been in a coma
what if i forget how to speak
what is the point of the universe
what is life
what if i forget my family
so yeah just a brief introduction;)
I've been having a thought time and alot of these thoughts are like mine
I’m finally going through the process of opening up to medical professionals (still haven’t really told family yet; have told some friends) about my obsessions and compulsions and like you said “crazy thoughts” and it’s so freeing to finally FINALLY know WHY and hopefully find help and peace.
I relate to over half of these OCD related thoughts! Thanks so much for being willing to share. You are helping so many people suffering from this!
This is very refreshing and comforting to hear. Over the years I have had so many thoughts related to either me causing the death of someone close to me or killing my family or pets. For the longest time I felt so discusting and alone with these thoughts and hearing the same type of thoughts here makes me feel so much better. Thank you for the video!
OMG I have had most of those thoughts myself. I struggle with the feeling of going crazy! While I have had many other thoughts, the fear of going crazy is the worst.
This one is bugging me a lot lately, so I feel for you!
@@kaliwallaceart I know, it is for real the worst fear I have experienced. I read it is very common in people with anxiety and depression but that doesn't really reassure me that I am not losing it!
The one about breaking your dog's neck is so relatable. That's one of the most common ones I have, honestly- we have three dogs and two cats and it's a constant struggle against those sort of thoughts. Of course, there are many, many others, but just knowing I'm not alone with that one in particular is freeing, in a way.
I would feel weird when people wore glasses because I thought the glass would break and go into their eyes. Thank you for sharing. I have grown so much this past year and have gotten my reaction to thoughts under control.
Honestly, you are so brave and I respect you so much. OCD can feel so isolating and lonely at times when you feel like there is something you have to keep to yourself for the rest of your life because it is so taboo, it can be really scary. Thank you for helping people to be more open, and to understand that there are others out there experiencing the same thing💗💓
I often have intrusive images of murdered & mutilated people in the forest, then the thought that I have hidden peoples bodies without remembering it. Scary thoughts about hurting my pets and enjoying their screams of pain. Lots of fear about becoming a serial killer, I was convinced when I was a teenager that I would end up a drug addict or serial killer and even had plans in my head of how I’d do it. Kind of like mini movies or stories that play out on my head of me doing terrible things and fantasizing about that evil life.
Wow. Same on that last point. Thank you for sharing, I thought I was alone even among people who have this. (The point about thinking you're unique is absurdly true, heh.)
I've got all of the same kinds of thoughts as u and it honestly feels so good to know I'm not alone! To everyone dealing with this, we'll get better!!!
Intrusive thoughts are seriously the worst. I've been struggling for years, so glad to know I'm not alone ❤️
Oh my god. Thank you so much for making this video. It makes me feel so much better when people just share their weirdest ocd thoughts. I mean, you didn’t really mention any of the ones I’ve had but you’ve had some pretty weird ones. Mine are more sexual or religious for the most part. And I thought I was the only one who got that urge or feeling that you were about to do it or whatever like you mentioned. Like one of my fears is blasphemy about the Holy Spirit. I’m a witch btw but I have a strong Christian background and some of the beliefs I used to have are still ingrained in my brain. But anyway I would always fear cussing out the Holy Spirit or giving the middle finger and so I would sometimes bite my tongue or hide my fingers as best I could because I’d feel myself involuntarily trying to move my tongue into a curse under my breath or subtly move my middle finger and it was terrifying to me because I was afraid I was about to do it.
Thank you for being so raw and honest In this video. I’ve had ocd for 8 years but I had compulsions as a little kid too but I grew out of them. I think ocd intrusive thoughts should be talked about and normalized much more than they are. Thank you again
If you need to talk with someone I'm here
OMG! I thought you looked familiar! Sometime ago, when this video first came out, I started looking more into my ocd and I found this video which helped me relate so much and feel more hopeful! I had no idea why a psycologist told me I had ocd because I thought OCD was ultra clean ppl. You helped me understand what I've been struggling with for years. thank you so much.
I’ve had a hard time looking people in the eyes lately. I tend to judge people a lot, which is my intrusive thought BUT inside I’m a very non judgmental person, unless the person is evil and then I’m ok with judging them.
Thank you so much for sharing your testimony! Ive had OCD Thoughts of my own and understand how truly scary, awful, and debilitating they can be. Its kind of funny hearing the OCD thoughts of someone else because they dont really scare me. Ive had all the thoughts as well but Im now beginning to realize its normal to think this way and I dont try to avoid them. Its like they say, "what you resist, persists." When you realize everyone has these thoughts, it can be Liberating. Sometimes making them stronger helps too. Exposing yourself to the thoughts and letting them fly by like clouds in the sky helps as well.
I convinced myself and my partner that we both had syphilis. I made us get emergency tested at the ER and nope, no syphilis, just anxiety. I do shit like this all the time... and each and every time, I become convinced I have whatever disease it is I'm obsessing on, but it usually does typically happen a lot more when dealing with life circumstances that are stressful. It stress kind of manifests as me thinking and then convincing myself I have a disease... and being unable to sleep or function until I get to the bottom of it.
Thanks for opening up and sharing all of this. I've not seen many people be this honest. Thanks.
Here in 2020 and I’m so grateful for you posting this video!! Reminds me that I’m not alone and that I’m not crazy. Thank you for opening up!
You are amazing, funny, smart and brave. And you are gift to anybody who has OCD and watches this. Thank you!
For as long as I can remember, one of my recurring intrusive thoughts is when I see something really dirty, like a filthy toilet in a public restroom, is like this urge to lick it.
Have you got cured from it? Iam going through similar,😔please reply
No, I’m still struggling with it. I recently got diagnosed with postpartum OCD, but looking back through my life, I think I have had OCD for most of my life.
Can i get your contact please😔i want to overcome it, though i went 6 months to pyschiatrist nothing changed? Can you?
Seek out an OCD specialist. Oftentimes psychiatrists don't offer the exact treatment needed for OCD. Check out iocdf.org for therapists!
I get the same thoughts and thoughts of eating my own poop
thank you so much for being SO honest. seriously watching videos like this are so helpful to know that we are not alone. wow. i definitely get OCD thoughts like "what if i end up wanting to commit suicide?" like so afraid that i have the ability to do that (which i do not want to do at all) i feel like that's a hard one to share with others because i feel like people could misinterpret that! but i wanted to share for anyone else that has that fear as well. :)
Me too! It's something I dont ever want to happen and I know.myself better than that. But I still constantly worry that my mind will go blank and I'll just do it and it terrifies me.
I've actually imagined myself confessing to a cop or something too because I was having problems with false memory OCD...and now that I've seen this it makes me so happy I laugh at that thought.
Me: "Officer I need you to arrest me"
Officer: "Ok what did you do?"
Me: "Well I think I might have done something but I don't know!"
I've also thought what if I actually disappeared into a parallel dimension and my friends and family are just copies and the real ones think I want missing or something. There are way more but I don't wanna make this comment longer than I already have 😅
Been there😭
Wow... I got diagnosed with OCD a few weeks ago and its been hard like unreal. I'm dealing with thought that I might have HIV (because of something that didn't happen but some how happened. But now I have a little cold) but the gag is I'm a virgin but some how I feel as if I'm a rare case. The thing is that it feels sooo real and the fear is so intense and mentally draining. And today I've almost wanted to give up on god and life and just lay in bed for the rest of my life... But seeing you and these comments gives me so much hope to keep moving.Thank you so much!
I have been suffering with this for years. You are not alone. I have had days where it has been debilitating. Seeing an ocd therapist has been really helping. I know how scary it is. You are not alone in this:)
@@Oweskwasikis I never got notified that someone replied. But thank you so much! I really needed this today. Because as you know the thoughts have a tendency to come back. Haha ah life
@@cutegirl380 I do know. And I hope you keep having compassion for where you are at with your OCD, and I will too. One day or moment at a time, friend.
( TW stuff. And I do not wish to harm myself or others these are called unwanted thoughts with OCD) My craziest thought so far is “What if I killed myself l?” But then I would think “No your cat would be miserable without you,” then it would think “Okay then what if you killed your cat and yourself?” And I would have to constantly check on my cat to make sure I didn’t hurt him and I hide knives or put knives away if they’re left out in the kitchen or something. I also thought that I killed my friend’s grandpa because he was old and my brain instantly went into “what if he died?” And he died two months later from old age so I thought I had the power to kill someone by just thinking it.
Thank you. Mass media always talk about cleaning OCD, I'm so glad that someone talks about the other types. Thank you so much.
I've been having intrusive thoughts that someone is out to get me Sprituality. I've been fine but I'm having these thoughts due to a past experience I had with someone. I feel like I'm alone with this.
me too
Thank you so much. I am so happy seeing this. I am so scared of my intrusive thoughts, i've been diagnosed with OCD. Ive been having these EXACT thoughts since I was a kid, and really badly lately. Im scared because Im working for the first time and also Im going to college and I keep thinking "what if I kill someone" "what if I got crazy and make a fool of myself". Im so scared of myself. I get scared I might be dead. (TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS NEXT PART) I got put on lexapro 10 months ago and went into psychosis and mania , I actually became my worst fear, I was punching my partner for no reason, screaming, trying to kill myself daily, I would grab his steering wheel trying to kill us, I was hallucinating, the doctors were not helping I was begging for help. eventually I tried to stab him during a fight and I went to jail (my worst fear pretty much came true) I got off the lexapro and a bunch of other mind altering meds and I am back to my normal self, not aggressive at all. BUT now my intrusive thoughts /feel/ solidified/valid and they are 100% worse than ever, I hardly can be around my partner without thinking "what if I up and kill him" "what if it wasn't the meds and Im insane". I feel like I can never recover because I have a "valid" reason to fear myself. (this was hard for me but I needed to share it ive been very scared)
how are you doing now..?
Does anyone create a new compulsion for them selves so that can avoid a different one? Like got so sick of all these compulsions going on around my bed, so now I just sleep on the floor and haven't touched my bed for the past 15 months.
Omg how does ur back not hurt? And I hope my ocd don’t get this bad
@@inesmatine9722 my backs already bad, but yea it kinda sucks...
It's so integrated into everything! Having OCD thoughts is like breathing. I share these "funny" thoughts about putting one of my cats into the microwave instead of my food, it's sounds so ridiculous hearing it though, it made me laugh. Isn't that an compulsion, checking if you really didn't do what your obsession thought "showed" you? My obsessive thoughts tend to be sexual or violent. One of my worst thoughts would be a necrophilic thought about my father's ashes in a church. That one never loses it's "charm". I'm not religious, but damn that's a wombo combo: Incest, necrophila, religious blasphemy and exibitionstic thoughts all in one. If i didn't know i had OCD, i probably wouldn't be alive right now. Do you guys and girls see yourself vividly in your mind doing the obsession? Or is that just me? Thanks for making another video about OCD. It's great that you can talk about these things so openly.
yeah, it really invades every part of your mind when it can. it's definitely a compulsion to check anything (ex. checking if i actually put my cat in the microwave) so i try not to do it but it just happen sometimes. i try not to get mad at myself for these little steps backwards because in the big picture i'm still moving forward. i do see the things vividly in my mind like you said you do, and that coupled with unwanted urges is pretty scary. thank you for sharing your thoughts!
@@kaliwallaceart Thanks, good to know. That's so hard to be fully aware of all the time. Yeah, beating yourself up is never the answer, but I definitely get why. This might sound weird, but finding humour in it helps me. Not like I'm forcing humour into It, but I just let myself react to the humour impulse when I feel it. I think it helps me normalize my thoughts, instead of being terrified of even closing my eyes or talking about it. It's been over 8 years now since my OCD fully blossomed. Do you have any tips on how to explain to people, when they're misinterpreting OCD for Autism? It recently happened to me with a friend. I just froze up and felt like shit. But my brother noticed that and made me feel a lot better. Good luck friend, on your road to recovery!
humor can help to remove you from the inside of your head, so why not use it as a tool? Hmm as far as the autism vs. ocd thing goes, i don't really have much experience with people relating the two. do you mean this person doesn't know you have ocd and might be attributing "weird" things they see you doing to autism? i don't mean to use the word"weird" as an offensive thing, i just know that someone acting on compulsions or clearly distressed by an obsession probably seems to be acting strange to someone who is not afflicted or at the very least doesn't understand the condition. my suggestion is always a very frank and open dialogue with your friends and those close to you, but i am lucky in being able to talk about it because i know many other people don't feel as free for various reasons. in my experience the more open i was about it the more other people could actually help me, for example they might not let me fall into a reassurance loop or have any part in a compulsion because they knew what to look out for already.
@@kaliwallaceart Indeed. Well, maybe it's poor wording from me. No offense taken. I was referring to the compulsion and how many people are misinformed by media and movies, thinking those with OCD have to keep their environments squeaky clean or keeping everything symmetrical. Sure that's possible with OCD too, but there is a completely different reason for doing so with OCD. Not to compare the two with each other. Both are very tough and brutal mental illnesses. Thank you, you're right. I just realised I was having obsessive thoughts about how awkward it would be if I talked about it with my friend. Which is impossible to know before I've even tried.
I’m scared that when i get mad I’ll stab the person who I’m mad at, and i have like a really specific thought about it in my head. Also every time I’m near a train station or busses/cars I have a thought of me jumping in front of it or falling under it and trying to run but just getting crushed
Hi , Thank you for sharing on such a real level. I am a 68 year old DAV with a severe emotional problem. I am good with it. It is what it is. But my 34 year old wonderful son life turned to a complete nightmare at 18 yrs. old when he saved our neighbor after being attacked by a 14 ft. alligator. He had to drop out of college and had to be hospitalize. OCD kicked in big time. Jerry was going to be a investment banker. He received our towns 911 award for saving Franks life. he has been sitting, suffering in his room ever since. with some hospital stays in between. I hope I can get him to watch your videos. They are great and so are you. thanks again.
Your son is a legend