This TikTok Lady Has Left Me Very Confused
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- Опубліковано 7 тра 2024
- A young woman went viral on TikTok for explaining how not wanting a date a fat person is sometimes fat-phobic, sometimes it's not, and sometimes it's bigoted. I think. I'm not really sure. It's a little confusing.
Video used: x.com/libsoftiktok/status/178...
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her obesity isn't the most unattractive thing about her.
If a woman is overweight, I'm less likely to approach her. If for whatever reason we start talking and I realize she's a down to earth Christian, conservative woman with a pretty face. I'm open to dating her and helping her adopt a healthier lifestyle to lose weight. If she does not, I'm not likely to stay with her. If she hates exercise and likes to eat the way she wants, she has every right to do so as I have every right to not stay with her.
If she’s overweight, we don’t need to approach them, because their belly will usually meet us in the middle
Not liking something is very different from having an irrational fear of something. It is not complicated.
Convincing themselves that they are victims is what is complicated.
No one needs to explain their sexual preferences for any reason ever
Exactly! Including ALL the lgbetc people.
Well if they prefer children that’s a problem…
This guy was trying to bring it back in to common sense,
Not get lost in the weeds with you about Satan worshippers
K, now do MAPS.
One should ask this delusional female if she would date a man with lepromatous leprosy. If she said no then who's the hypocrite?
An abundance of fat on someone is naturally unattractive. I have a deficit of hair on the top of my head but i don't hold it against women who find it unappealing because it IS unappealing.
Yeah it’s all about signs of health and fertility. I don’t fault anyone for not dating me bc I have health conditions. They have to be on board
When I met my husband I worked out daily under-ate and was very small some what underweight because our society says that’s just how men usually like women looking like a child and my husband was chubby. I didn’t mind one bit that he had body fat on him in fact it’s comforting to me. I liked that I couldn’t break him when I hugged him he had meat on him and he’s so fun to cook for! We’re married now w a child 😊 I say this because of your blanket statements. Also Vin Diesel and the Rock are bald men and they are smokin hot. 🤷🏻♀️ even if a man is just average body shape and bald he can still be plenty attractive in looks and character. you’re making it too black and white just like Michael K is.
@@ThePrincessdi77 Your remark "men usually like women looking like a child" is bizarre and telling. I feel sorry for your husband.
Not true. I actually find bald men attractive. My ex was bald and my current partner shaves his head constantly. Also, when he started dating me he said his goal was to fatten me up as I looked "skeletal", and always looked ill.
I’m a really big guy.
Been single for a long time.
I’m not delusional.
I know I’m not all that attractive.
My weight is my fault.
Fatphobia is a myth.
You’re like … half way there
Get off of your pity potty 🚽
That’s the other half, champ
Every long and successful journey begins with a first step.
Proud to be fatphobic, being fat is unhealthy! Get fit, for your own sake!
Nah
Yep.
@@dylanstephans1256OK, it's your choice not to take proper care of yourself.
Yeah - your quality of life skyrockets when…
You’re good at breathing 😮💨
@dylanstephans1256 You disappoint me son
Why is it wrong for people to have a preference?! I am overweight and am working on losing weight, but my husband loves me as I am. To be fair, we have both put on some weight over the past 20 years together. I would not judge someone if they weren't attracted to me for whatever reason. Just like I have my preferences too. Big strong arms are a must! Thankfully my husband qualifies in that area. I don't understand why it's bad to be honest about who or what characteristics are attractive to you!
I'm fat. This is an irrefutable fact of reality. Fatphobia does not exist. There is no need to spit on someone when you see them in the street, but there is no obligation to date anyone, for any reason, whatsoever. This is called normal. Good day.
exactly, I am also a woman and I just became overweight, I'm gonna have to try and lose it, but anyway. I would not take offense to people not wanting to date me because of my looks... people like who they like and people like certain things better. But you can be neutral right? Why isn't anyone talking about the part where he said there is no neutral, because yes there is a ton of neutral, I either have thing for someone, am neutral, or I am disgusted by someone (and that's rarely)
I really like tiny, handsome, gentle Michael Knowles. He has charisma 🙂
@@avarion9538 he's not that small though, he is 2 cm taller than me.
@@avarion9538I do believe he is over six feet tall and weighs over 200 LBS.
@@The_Tortoise_and_the_HareI think it's really different for men. They are often more black and white/ on or off kind of thinkers. Women tend to live more in the gray.
Notice these “fat phobia” comments are always made by people of a certain BMI
Being fat is the effect not the cause. The cause is the real issue.
💯🙏🏻🙌🏻
HOWEVER... I *LIKE* women with curves, average body build, or any other body type except for a deathly thin body type... & these are my preferences....
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Oh, by the way, I have one more preference:
I like CONSERVATIVE, TRADITIONAL, PROVERBS 31 GOD-FEARING WIFE & MOTHER-TO-MY-CHILDREN type, *NOT SCREECHING, HATEFUL LEFTIST TYPES!!!!!!!*
But even if there was no cause, and we agree there is: fatness itself is disgusting 🤢
No. Fat-phobic is refusing to go within their general vicinity. Even going out of their way to avoid them, such as going to another gas station, restaurant or grocery store if they're within eyeshot. Not wanting to date someone who's "let themselves go" is called having standards.
I’m not going to another gas station
Unless they had beans for dinner
🫘
Snubbing people socially (platonically) because they are fat is, probably, something like bigotry. Trying to force people to desire to date fat people is delusional.
It depends. Some fatty fat fattys smell like buttermilk. It's a certain type of secretion big fat fattys output.
So platonic or not, I'll pass on the buttermilk.
This. There are fat people I know and love. I prefer my wirey man.
Being obese is a sign of a moral failure. A sign that a person is lazy, unmotivated, lacks self control, doesn’t have self respect, Etc. you see skinny people that are also all of those things sure, but an obese person is at least 1 of those things if not multiple.
@@BeyondTilted some are on antipsychotics, so you have a point.
Before I was fat, I was very capable and useful. Now that I'm fat, I'm nearly useless. I'm not sure if I became lasy and useless first, or fat. Chicken or the egg, I suppose.
Ummmm Chicken and eggs yuuuummmmm!
Sometimes theres nothing wrong with being fatphobic. I lost 13st and hell yeah im fatphobic! I hated being fat and my so called phobia of it stops me from letting myself ever get fat again
Nice
Same here dude. I ended up gaining ~25 and hated how much my body changed, negative effects, looks, everything. Finally lost 20 almost back to where I wanna be.
Most ppl prefer to date a person who respects and takes care of themselves, and this includes doing drugs, drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes and just isn't about being obese.
😂 sooo wrong! men will date super skinny models or just regular pretty girls that smoke drink get fake tits and puke to stay thin all the time because these guys like arm candy and sex not who the person really is.
I won't date someone that makes me get a better suspension in my truck to get them around
🤣
Im eating "chicharrones" while watching this. And I'm not offended.
Real chicharrones or wheat puffs? I chipped a tooth on some real ones.
It’s okay to be pathetic and sad
Chicharrones aren't bad for you actually. They can be part of a carnivore diet which makes you lose weight. It's carbs that put on the fat as they spike insulin.
@@ryankelly9032 Real ones, we killed a pig this winter so I have lots of that nasty sweet thing. And I've got ceramic teeth. :E
@@augustsmith9553 No, it's not. You have to be productive and happy.
My question to her would be is she speaking to fat guys? No, like Michael said, she's going after the ripped, attractive guys, but doesn't acknowledge the fact that she's not attracted to fat guys, either.
Yeah, fat is gross
I stopped caring about the phobias and isms about five years ago. I don’t defend myself from them anymore. I just say “I don’t care that you think that of me.”
Being fat is not beautiful its unhealthy and if you are not willing to take your own health seriously why should anyone else
Lol cause that requires self accountability, instead of taking self accountability they’d rather slander you with a “phobia” 😂
I am fat and it sucks, i am doing everything that i can to lose weight.
@joaopedrobaggio4475 May God give you the strength and wisdom to achieve your goals in a healthy way.
I think you mean “obese”. Women are supposed to be thick.
@@kevin6293 Define "thick". I cut a tree down yesterday and it was thick. And no, i didn't marry a thick teen at the time.
I’m fat and I wouldn’t date me
I can relate but to myself.
😂😂😂
I'm not fat but because of your comment I would date you.
👑
So funny! You obviously aren’t a liberal, with that sense of humor!😅
I’m not “fat” anymore because I chose to quit fast food and reduce my sugar intake. At almost 50, I’ve started weight training and increased my physical activity to prevent regaining the 40+ lbs I’ve lost and kept off for around 7 or 8 years now. Fat isn’t healthy and is not beautiful. Some people might like obesity as a fetish. But a healthy body weight is more attractive to the vast majority of the population. My husband and I have 21 years together. He’s seen my weight go up and then saw me work hard to get healthy again.
Salute your discipline.
Great attitude!
Great attitude!
Phobia = fear versus disgust of obesity
lol so you think hydrophobia means fear of water? 😂
@@kevin6293 sigh, some people such as yourself are why society is collapsing 🙄
@@dalemoore435 people who know the actual definitions of words? You should be embarrassed for being so ignore ant.
@kevin6293 OK little one, bye bye child
I bet dollars to donuts that she was just turned down for being gross.
Absolute fact. When girls go on these rants, it's because they couldn't have the Chad that they wanted, or they were used by Chad for a quick lay and when it comes time to ask Chad if he'll go out in public with them, he says no. Women can never accept that they are not wanted by Chad yet feel entitled to him.
mmmm...donuts😮
@@IFBBJacked Reddit is that way boyo
This topic is the number 1 issue with online dating
I’m a tall, thick woman, and it was a guy of a different race that was attracted to me, but he wouldn’t open up about it, and date me. Probably because his family wouldn’t approve and he had never been attracted to or dated a woman of my race. I understand though. I can’t be angry at him. We all want to be happy. So date who you like or attracted to. It doesn’t matter the race, or size. If you’re attracted to a person, you click, and you like them, then go for it. If it’s no attraction then we can’t get angry, just accept it and wait on the person that wants you. 💜
Lose some weight
Why are people even discussing this???
Fat people talk a lot
They’re 90% women
Why would you want to date anyone who finds you unappealing? And guys, stop hooking up with women you are not attracted to.
Um there are also fat men. I don't see any fat man defending being fat. Do they not realize that women generally just aren't usually attracted to fat men?
It could be a matter of survival. For instance, if you are a 350 pound guy dating a small Asian women, there are practical matters for her to consider.
If a 20 year old woman doesn't want to date a 60 year old man, is she old-phobic. What you call forcing a women to date you this way. Yes, it applies the same way with fat-phobic.
Boom ! yes!
I’ve met fat woman with attractive personalities, and try to make themselves better. And I’ve met fat women who say well I’m beautiful the way I am, and you should love me for me. I don’t think fat people are gross in general, but people with an ”I’m fat, get over it!” attitude are gross people.
I wonder if she knows her smile is that of condescension, and if she does know then she must also have intended this video to be condescending. So she's not trying to enlighten or to end any "phobia" or bigotry.
There are alot of people I’m not attracted to. That doesn’t mean I am repelled or find them disgusting.
No. People don't understand that a phobia is "an irrational fear of". The only fear involved with a fat person is being crushed, which is not irrational.
It’s called manipulative gaslighting
She is being such a bigot to healthy, hygienic, active people, as seen through her actively avoiding health, hygiene, and activity.
That’s my boy
There’s no DEI in dating. You date who you want to date. Strive to be the best version of yourself that you can and you’ll find someone that appreciates that. But people seem allergic to the “striving” part these days. No one “deserves” a relationship. You can’t demand it. It’s given based on the other person’s preferences.
I can accept that I am not attractive because I am heavy, but i dont go around like a twit calling everyone else stupid because they dont date me based on how I look.
Agreed. Anyone can choose not do date anyone for any reason OR no reason. No one owes anyone their time or their explanation over this.
Bodybuilders and defensive linemen are heavy. You're fat.
@@kathycoleman4648yea keep that same energy for when it’s race 😂😂
@@thegamewin100 It should be the same energy for race. Who you and don't want to date is someone's personal choice.
@@annearly3200 😭😭 it’s not for many things the only thing that’s usually acceptable is height that’s it
Some people just aren't attractive or interesting to be with.
I like healthy people. The end. Oh and I like humans and humans are ment to be slim and fit.
I like smart people. The end. Oh and I like humans and humans are meant to be intelligent and able to spell.
@@Hazelnutmegan Humans are meant to be able to spell English words?
@@Hazelnutmeganyou shouldn’t try to discredit someone because of a typo if you can’t use proper punctuation. That’s like telling someone they can’t cook while you don’t even know how to use an oven. 😉
@@Hazelnutmegan Tell me my mistake please, English is not my native language and I would like to improve. Thank you. Edit: never mind, chrissylovesmc showed me ☺
This woman couldnt tick off any of the boxes for her identity bingo game, so she just took the free spot and put fat right in there.
So if I call up her cardiologist, he's going to tell me everything's fine?
Reality is undefeated
You can like someone and not be offended by them and not be attracted to them. That is what she attempting to say. If you like brunettes, that doesn’t mean you think blondes are disgusting. Preference does not equal distain.
Yes, you can view a trait neutrally. Sure, it doesn't make sense to do so in the context of fat, but you can be not attracted to someone without being repelled in general. Imagine eye color, for example.
Exactly. I thought of hair color.
Michael, let me translate.: if you aren't attracted to a fat person, that's not pho ic, but if you make a moral judgement about the person's character based on their fatness, that is phobic.
I don't think she is right, but that is the definition she is trying to make.
Not! She is quite silly. It is all the same.
I'm all for phobias that help me or society. So. Obese women? Nope, not interested. Most men would agree. Few dudes love fat women, so, more power to them.
Same goes for guys. Sorry, a beer gut is disgusting and an excellent sign of severe character defects.
when is a woman fat, because I often see guys commenting with fat and obese in the same sentence, but they don't say overweight and fat, it's almost always obese, well overweight is also fat, and most women are overweight, so it's confusing
@@amandastjohn4735 depends on how big it is, a tiny bit is okay, but if they look bloated it gets a bit odd
@@The_Tortoise_and_the_Hare Maybe. I just view it on a case by case basis.
They think they have a say. Wild.
She acts like being a bigot is bad. Everyone is a bigot in some way! 😂
I think she is saying if they are neutral to them being fat, but don't like them as a person. And don't want to date them, but not because of their weight.
This is the same thing I have been saying about shows like Big Bag Theory, Super Bad, Revenge of the Nerds, American Pie, and Pretty in Pink. Shows themes that demonize women not wanting certain guys. But we don't realize these same boys are only lusting after the pretty girls we don't see them trying to date the plain-looking girls.
OMG THESE PEOPLE GET STUPIDER BY THE DAY 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
*more stupid
NOBODY has an irrational fear of fat people. Fear FOR them maybe but fear OF them, no.
Where did all these “philosophers” came from the last few years, always scolding on other people, never seeing their own flaws. Who are you trying to forcibly convince
I've always struggled with weight and been on the heavy side. All I can think with that tiktok is if people say they don't want to date you because you're gross, why are you not moving on?
Basically I believe she's arguing that if you view being fat as a trait people can have that you happen not to be attracted to, similar to say a big nose or very thin eyebrows, then it's not fatphobic, BUT, if you view fatness as a character flaw that's when it's fatphobic. Not saying it makes sense, it doesn't, but that's how I understood her explanation for anyone who felt confused by this woman's ramblings.
Exactly! Thank you. I can't believe MK didn't get that.
Same person will claim everything is relative, but proceeds to impose their morality on me
In ancient times, being "fat" was a sign of blessing, but it was a struggle to maintain what is now a minimun healthy weight. Just reaching adulthood was an achievement
There is no such thing as “fatphobia”. There’s people that take care of themselves and those that don’t. Pulling more successful people down to your level is in no way helpful to society.
What I heard is that she understands if someone isn’t attracted to her, but she doesn’t want the reason to be a moral judgment based on her appearance
I am fatphobic in the same way, I am cancerphobic 🤷♂
But, what if the guy is fat? Why is this even coming up?
As someone who has loads 102 pounds over the last year and a half, I can definitely attest to the denial that most of these people are living in.
I disagree that not being attracted to fat people means you are repelled by them. I was pretty chubby in college and had ton of guy friends that i was always with, in public and not. They treated me great, and were not embarrassed to be seen with me, but they would never have dated me. But i really do have a great personality, and a sweet spirit. And I'm wickedly funny too.😅
We'll soon be imposing DEI mandates to online dating where people will be compelled to swipe right on profiles that we find physically repulsive...
Being overweight is very unhealthy. So is smoking 🚬, heavy drinking 🍻, drugs, etc.
While I don't believe "Fatphobia" to actually be a thing, you can 100% be not attracted to someone, but also not find them gross.
This person is operating under the worldview that bigotry is a "bad" thing.
Yeah, I associate being overweight with nothing positive. I exercise, I take care of my health. I expect the same from my partner.
I love how these completely messed up people think that we are supposed to live our live according to their crazy views.
I am a woman and this is just my opinion. I know many overweight women who take very good care of themselves, exercise and dress to suit their size and look quite attractive. What I can't understand is if you are overweight you further make yourself unattractive with ugly coloured hair, tattoos, piercings, revealing clothes, leggings being just a big NO (I am slim and would not wear). You need to make the best with what God gave you and not uglify yourself.
Why does it feel like she's pointing a gun at us and giving demands? 😅
In some ways it doesn't make sense to suggest "hooking up" with someone you are unattracted to. But guys do this anyway. The rest of her story is ...the hook-up was all someone wanted. They didn't want to spend money on her and be seen in public.
So, if I don't like a girl with pimples, then I'm pimplephobic?
Yes. Yes, you are. And rightly so. 😆
"You must only hold opinions for the reasons I allow or else you're a bigot!"
How many people saw this, smacked their forehead and thought, 'oh, I'm being fatphobic. I desire to date fat people as much as anyone now'?
I think what she’s saying is that you can’t apply your perception of one fat person to all fat people.
I prefer people who aren't condescending. It doesn't matter how big or small you are, when you open your mouth and an attitude like this lady's falls out, I don't want to be around you.
“Fat activists” remind me of incels. The attitude of “others MUST be attracted to me or they’re in the wrong” 😂
She doesnt look skinny herself
I think that is the point.
What she said is perfectly coherent, except for the conclusions she draws. She's basically saying if you think im a 6 because of my weight, but you are only willing to date 7's on up. That's fine. But, if you think I'm a 2 because of my weight and you only date 7s and up, you're a bigot.
It's all about her, not the person who she could or could not theoretically date. But, personal preferences are personal. None of your business why I'm not interested, I'm just not.
She didn't use the number scale, but she used not attracted vs. gross and disgusting. The number scale already has that covered, and it's worked well for millenia.
Michael is pretending the number scale doesn't even exist. He's pretending it's a hard and fast binary, yes or no.
Michael is pretending that he never went from: not that interested, then two beers later starts begging for that goddess.
never let a Tic tok lady confuse you.
Spherical heads just don't float my boat. Upon reflection, I'll accept it if you're a snowman.
You know what else is fatphobic? Your body. Your blood pressure, quality sleep, joints, resting heart rate, cardio vascular performance, flexibility, liver and kidney functions are all INCREDIBLY fatphobic and contingent on you not having excessive amounts of fat.
Phobia means a UNREASONABLE fear or aversion. It's not unreasonable to an aversion to a relationship with someone you're not attracted to.
This is the difference between men and women because most times I am neutral towards guys. Men (as I've heard) always know what category you fall into and if they do or don't like you
Well color me fat phobic..
“You’re fatphobic”
Thanks for noticing 👑
There are 4 categories of beauty in my opinion ((1) attractive and I want to pursue you, (2) objectively attractive but just don't do it for me personally, (3) meh, and (4) that's a big nope).
I am fat but she is talking about assumption. If you look at me as a fat person and assume that my current lifestyle is gross and that I am disgusting because I am fat then that is fatphobic but if you look at me as a fat person and don't make assumptions about me based on my weight/size and yet still aren't attracted to me then that is a preference
So what would make me stupid-phobic?
How about not dating her because she looks like Peter Griffin? Does that make me a bigot?
Peter Griffin 😂
@@christineferreira2181
Or Fred Flinstone. Take your pick.
Being fat does generally mean lazy, yes. There can be kedical issues, but this is rare. Fat women also have trouble bearing children.
If you want to be loved, there are some conditions that need to be met.
So we're going for the pity date here? Sympathy sex? Guilt affection?
I guess I’m fatphobic and bigoted. I also don’t care.
How about instead of complaining about how you want other people to like you then You fix yourself.
Preference paradox!
So she’s hot and she’s not is a preference.
I think Michael and most people on here missed the woman’s point. Preference is fine… but assuming you know someones whole life and labeling them negatively simply based on their body size is bigoted. I can agree to that. When I was anorexic people said it was my “best weight” and I must be eating heathy and working out all the time to be that small 🙄 when I recovered from my eating disorder of 24 years I gained super duper fast and people assumed I was just lazy ate cheeseburgers all day long and was unmotivated which was the opposite I was highly motivated to change my whole life but my body needed time to catch up after abusing it for so long. After my divorce I got super skinny again because of depression and people again said how great I looked. After having a baby with my current husband I was chubby again and people assumed I was just fat not that I’d just had a baby, post eclampsia, c section, and 10 day stay in hospital from a PE I had from the surgery. I’m now working on getting in good shape but the prganacy left me with multiple issues like thyroid, POTS, and heart issues so I’m trying but not how I use to look back in my super skinny days so I’m judged now also for being lazy unmotivated so on. My points is we don’t know why people are a certain size… she’s right where we shouldn’t just look and judge skinny normal chubby or fat people as their size a lot of times doesn’t indicate how heathy they are and tell their whole journey in life. So I’m down for body positivity so that people can do the best they can under whatever circumstance they are in at the time…im conservative but wish both sides would take all this into consideration. I like Michael but he can come off as pompous especially on these subjects.
Basically what she's saying is, you have the right to have a food preference say, where you don't like mayonnaise. However, you are not allowed to think that mayonnaise is gross, because that is aggressively opinionated, and just downright bigoted. Clearly she wants her cake, and to eat every last crumb, because why in the hell would I have a preference against mayonnaise unless it was for one of two reasons? Either I think it's gross, or I think it's unhealthy. I guess she doesn't want to hear that; KEEP it to yourself why you don't like mayonnaise.