My journey of life living with potential HPPD, began in late 1992 a few months after graduating high school. In my junior year and senior year of high school. I was introduced and inducted into the world of psychedelics. The two forms of psychedelics I used were LSD & mushrooms. Over the course of my two years of experimentation. I would say that I dropped LSD well over a dozen times and mushrooms approximately twice. My experience of dropping LSD was more comprehensive in terms of the affect versus using mushrooms. LSD tended to make me feel speeded out and my thoughts would just go while along with visual hallucinations. Some of my trips are good and some of my trips were bad. Retrospectively, I feel I had more bad trips than I had good ones. The old saying used to be, you have to be in a good mood before you drop LSD. And I still believe that that is a good measurement to gauge when considering dropping LSD. Now that I look back, I would tend to drop LSD during negative times I was experiencing. As a result, those trips were terrible. It was as if I was contemplating all kinds of things all at once and I really couldn’t get my head around it. Eventually it will get to a point where my anxiety level would increase into a panic attack. This type of behavior is commonly known as “snapping,” or at least that is what we called it at the time. I wanted it to end but I knew it wouldn’t. So that created more fear, anxiety, and more panic. I was a very outgoing person but suffered with some undiagnosed depression I would say. I tried to be the best version of me and I generally would be considered extroverted among my peers. I did drink a lot I suspect as a coping mechanism not to mention I was in high school and also a musician. From a social context, that’s all we really did during the weekends was party. I took my last hit of LSD in late 1992 that would forever change who I was forever. After I took my last hit, I was with my friend and we stayed up all night watching television. I would eventually fall asleep at around six in the morning. I would later wake up in the afternoon because I had to go home. But something was different. I felt as if I was still under the influence to a degree of the LSD. I had a head change feeling and I just felt strange overall. I just figured perhaps I was still coming down from it, or that it wasn’t out of my system yet. A few days later, I went to the mall with my girlfriend because she wanted to go buy some shoes. Still feeling unusual. I sat down in a chair while she was looking for shoes. I felt my heart beating out of my chest and I panicked. I immediately freaked out and I had to leave that mall. This was my first experience of an anxiety attack that led into a panic attack. These symptoms would eventually subside in terms of the panic and anxiety. But I still felt the same. About two days after that, I started to develop some insomnia issues. I wasn’t able to sleep. I also started developing some stomach related issues as if I was really nervous. I started thinking all these negative thoughts about my relationship, about what I’m feeling, why am I feeling this way, what’s going on. This was a very beginning of my HPPD. As weeks progressed, I was still having the same symptoms but then I started feeling like I was on LSD again. I presume these are considered as “flash backs.” The symptoms progressed into severe emotional dysregulation. I started crying for no reason. My perception and emotions were heightened and I was extremely sensitive. At this point everything was converging on my psychological well being. I had no idea what was going on. This would continue for months. My mother became concerned and got me in to see a psychologist. I explained the following symptoms to my psychologist ,but she never understood what I was experiencing and said, it is from my alcohol usage. Here were my initial symptoms: Rapid thoughts, irritation, nervous stomach, insomnia, emotional dysregulation, derealization, fear, anxiety, panic, feeling heavy pressure inside my eye sockets and forget (like pressure on my brain). It was like the world was a whole different dimension. I would continue to go see my counselor who eventually recommended me to a psychiatrist. After interviewing with the psychiatrist, he had no clue what I was going through. He recommended that I attended group therapy for attics to discuss their problems. I started to become hopeless and lost because I felt like why am I the only one who Is experiencing this and why do you psychologist and psychiatrist not know what I am telling them. Approximately eight months after the onset, new visual effects started to occur. I started seeing white and sometimes color halos around cars and as they drove by, they had trails. My hand had trails. Night time was the absolute worse as the trails and halos were intensified. It was as if I started going into some sort of psychosis. Walls were breathing and looking at curtains were have a vertical waving appearance. I would also get burst of lights almost light a quick camera flush from time to time. The introduction to these new visual effects really hind my anxiety and panic to the point where I was creating the panic and anxiety at certain times of the night. Take in mine that every single day from the inception of this issue, I was in a constant state of anxiety 24/7. And I will continue to live this way 29 years later but with some of the symptoms have sense subsided. I will say that I abuse alcohol for all these years as a coping mechanism to what I believe was to suppress some of the symptoms I was experiencing. But I also was diagnosed with PTSD So there was other psychological and trauma issues there from my upbringing and childhood that I presume also contributed to the components of everything factored here. My anxiety and panic attacks discontinued themselves approximately 10 years ago. I do periodically have anxiety that may lead into a panic. But it is short-lived because I feel that I’ve been able to talk myself out of them over the years. But overall, I generally don’t have very much of this issue or symptom anymore. As of today, I also do not see the halos or shadows underneath vehicles or breathing or waves any longer. I stopped drinking almost three years ago so I felt that was beneficial to my mental health. I would have to say that the only thing that remains from a symptomatic standpoint is the feeling of disconnection or I believe as they refer it as “derealization” I am almost more introverted and isolated and a little nervous. I still have pressure behind my eye sockets and in the front in my forehead. I verbally feel just stoned everyday without the psychoactive part. I still see trails in general. I tend to have them general “numb” feeling and I feel that my anger can be triggered in certain situations in which I am working on. Perhaps that is symptoms of my PTSD but I will have to say that I went from hell to being able to manage all this over the years. A few days ago, I was speaking with a therapist that I left a message for that was finally getting back to me even though I have found a therapist and am working with him now. Nonetheless, she did a general inquiry with me and a consultation. One thing I never told a therapist was that this all started after I took LSD. So when I started explaining to her in a short story of my traumas and what started this weird thing with me after I took LSD. she said, let me ask you a question. Have you ever heard of HPPD? I told her I had no idea, I never heard of it. She said that I should seek a Therapist a deals with it. She would continue on telling me that it is a disorder that occurs as an after effect from taking Hallucinogenic drugs. I was completely baffled! So I started researching it and finding that smoking weed tends to make symptoms increase which I totally agree because it was doing that to me but I didn’t know that I had HPPD so I discontinued dabbling with weed. As I continue to investigate this disorder, I was amazed to find out that I am not the only one. I wanted to share my story so that others who may be experiencing these type of symptoms. I want you to know you’re not alone. I must say that I feel truly relieved to be labeled something. Because, all these years I never knew what was wrong with me.
Dude ... I'm sorry to hear about your struggle but you've got the comoletely wrong end of the stick. The problem is not the LSD. The problem is thinking what you were experiencing was negative. The LSD did a tremendous job at unlocking your inner pain and bringing it to the surface. The problem that we live in a society that doesn't know how to honestly look at pain and trauma so we try to get rid of it instead of appreciating it as part of the healing process. If you were in a supportive environment that knew how to interpret and then help you with the healing process if could have been a wonderful experience for you.
I rarely hear about the eyesocket pressure which is my main problem along with frontal headaches and anxiety. Tho idk if it was caused by substance trauma or something else.
I've never been the same since I was puddled with thousands of mics of Amber by Tour cats when I was 16. It's not merely visual distortion, it's hypersensitivity to the reality of inevitable death, existential dread and the feeling of being on borrowed time. Life, death - whats the difference? Paradox. Somehow I've adapted and learned to function - albiet very difficult without opioid dependence. All the people off Dead Tour I know who were printed and puddled got strung out - just trying to achieve some peace. I find this whole idea that psychedelics help mental health ridiculous. It's a psychotomimetic, not entheogen.
I have type 2 with lots of permanent color pattern s light flashes and permanent tracers from doing lots of psychedelics from 13-16, I used to eat sheets of acid and ounces of cubenses ( not at onc but like 3 tab a day every day for a month straight thinking it wouldnt hurt me cause everyone says psychedelics are harmless, well let me tell you wait till your in your mid to late 20’s before you trip as it caused all sorts of permanent issues.
You can't take acid every day. It won't work. Every three days. I did that for years, in the 70s, never had a bad trip, it was all good. I have some persistent effects, they are mild and not bothersome, just a haze of colour around things if I look in a certain way, small things like that. If I close my eyes, and look 'out' I can dimly see the psychedelic mindfield, if I focus real closely it will become more and more clear. I have no issues with this.
I would be very surprised when I realized I had it I was dibiltated I went into complete psychosis.Heard voices seen things that weren't there tasted things smelled things that weren't there felt as if I was a puppet being controlled ran around town screaming and crying every night for months I've experienced the closest thing to hell I can think of.Now 6 years later it's more mild but when people say this it goes to show the lack of research that went into psychedelics as well as of how it's minimized frequently by people.I remember visual snow as a child but nothing like hppd and what I went threw and continue to go threw
When it comes to Joe Rogan and psychedelics he's an infant! He started to "Dabble" well past his mid to late 30's, and he won't ever speak of the downsides! To say this is flashback propaganda show's how little of an understanding he has! Some day's if he's in one of his "Moods" he'll argue against something that next week he agrees with! People whom frequently use marijuana tend to become argumentative and exhibit strange mood variations, this too is something he'd argue against, and has!
Sounds to me like an issue of understanding. HPPD seems like people are seeing life more clearly and it scares them. They've started to wake up a little but haven't continued the process.
No bro, that's romanticizing, you're literally hallucinating sober, that the floor and walls are constantly moving is not being awake, that the lights at night become so bright that It prevents you from driving at 100% is not being awake, that it is difficult for you to sleep because you see colors even with your eyes closed is not "being awake"
You saved me from commenting that ,i think he's on about acid visuals which some still get when they Come down with the high gone and they see normal next day ,but very small % have acud psych visuals forever whats meant to be 'soft hppd'.
@@jarradocallaghan2431 haha. Well u explain the problem other than..... "I'm scared I feel different" This is a completely made up phenomenon by sheltered suburban kids who are scared shitless the first time they realize that life is notthe bullshit that they've been focefed their whole lives. So get out of here with your bullshit critique as if you have any idea what you're talking about.
@@waynesilverman3048he is I'm sure that mind set is dangerous and can lead to extremely bad symptoms if you truly believe that it is awakening and you need to keep taking psychedelics.
My journey of life living with potential HPPD, began in late 1992 a few months after graduating high school. In my junior year and senior year of high school. I was introduced and inducted into the world of psychedelics. The two forms of psychedelics I used were LSD & mushrooms. Over the course of my two years of experimentation. I would say that I dropped LSD well over a dozen times and mushrooms approximately twice. My experience of dropping LSD was more comprehensive in terms of the affect versus using mushrooms. LSD tended to make me feel speeded out and my thoughts would just go while along with visual hallucinations. Some of my trips are good and some of my trips were bad. Retrospectively, I feel I had more bad trips than I had good ones. The old saying used to be, you have to be in a good mood before you drop LSD. And I still believe that that is a good measurement to gauge when considering dropping LSD. Now that I look back, I would tend to drop LSD during negative times I was experiencing. As a result, those trips were terrible. It was as if I was contemplating all kinds of things all at once and I really couldn’t get my head around it. Eventually it will get to a point where my anxiety level would increase into a panic attack. This type of behavior is commonly known as “snapping,” or at least that is what we called it at the time. I wanted it to end but I knew it wouldn’t. So that created more fear, anxiety, and more panic. I was a very outgoing person but suffered with some undiagnosed depression I would say. I tried to be the best version of me and I generally would be considered extroverted among my peers. I did drink a lot I suspect as a coping mechanism not to mention I was in high school and also a musician. From a social context, that’s all we really did during the weekends was party. I took my last hit of LSD in late 1992 that would forever change who I was forever. After I took my last hit, I was with my friend and we stayed up all night watching television. I would eventually fall asleep at around six in the morning. I would later wake up in the afternoon because I had to go home. But something was different. I felt as if I was still under the influence to a degree of the LSD. I had a head change feeling and I just felt strange overall. I just figured perhaps I was still coming down from it, or that it wasn’t out of my system yet. A few days later, I went to the mall with my girlfriend because she wanted to go buy some shoes. Still feeling unusual. I sat down in a chair while she was looking for shoes. I felt my heart beating out of my chest and I panicked. I immediately freaked out and I had to leave that mall. This was my first experience of an anxiety attack that led into a panic attack. These symptoms would eventually subside in terms of the panic and anxiety. But I still felt the same. About two days after that, I started to develop some insomnia issues. I wasn’t able to sleep. I also started developing some stomach related issues as if I was really nervous. I started thinking all these negative thoughts about my relationship, about what I’m feeling, why am I feeling this way, what’s going on. This was a very beginning of my HPPD. As weeks progressed, I was still having the same symptoms but then I started feeling like I was on LSD again. I presume these are considered as “flash backs.” The symptoms progressed into severe emotional dysregulation. I started crying for no reason. My perception and emotions were heightened and I was extremely sensitive. At this point everything was converging on my psychological well being. I had no idea what was going on. This would continue for months. My mother became concerned and got me in to see a psychologist. I explained the following symptoms to my psychologist ,but she never understood what I was experiencing and said, it is from my alcohol usage. Here were my initial symptoms: Rapid thoughts, irritation, nervous stomach, insomnia, emotional dysregulation, derealization, fear, anxiety, panic, feeling heavy pressure inside my eye sockets and forget (like pressure on my brain). It was like the world was a whole different dimension. I would continue to go see my counselor who eventually recommended me to a psychiatrist. After interviewing with the psychiatrist, he had no clue what I was going through. He recommended that I attended group therapy for attics to discuss their problems. I started to become hopeless and lost because I felt like why am I the only one who Is experiencing this and why do you psychologist and psychiatrist not know what I am telling them. Approximately eight months after the onset, new visual effects started to occur. I started seeing white and sometimes color halos around cars and as they drove by, they had trails. My hand had trails. Night time was the absolute worse as the trails and halos were intensified. It was as if I started going into some sort of psychosis. Walls were breathing and looking at curtains were have a vertical waving appearance. I would also get burst of lights almost light a quick camera flush from time to time. The introduction to these new visual effects really hind my anxiety and panic to the point where I was creating the panic and anxiety at certain times of the night. Take in mine that every single day from the inception of this issue, I was in a constant state of anxiety 24/7. And I will continue to live this way 29 years later but with some of the symptoms have sense subsided. I will say that I abuse alcohol for all these years as a coping mechanism to what I believe was to suppress some of the symptoms I was experiencing. But I also was diagnosed with PTSD So there was other psychological and trauma issues there from my upbringing and childhood that I presume also contributed to the components of everything factored here. My anxiety and panic attacks discontinued themselves approximately 10 years ago. I do periodically have anxiety that may lead into a panic. But it is short-lived because I feel that I’ve been able to talk myself out of them over the years. But overall, I generally don’t have very much of this issue or symptom anymore. As of today, I also do not see the halos or shadows underneath vehicles or breathing or waves any longer. I stopped drinking almost three years ago so I felt that was beneficial to my mental health. I would have to say that the only thing that remains from a symptomatic standpoint is the feeling of disconnection or I believe as they refer it as “derealization” I am almost more introverted and isolated and a little nervous. I still have pressure behind my eye sockets and in the front in my forehead. I verbally feel just stoned everyday without the psychoactive part. I still see trails in general. I tend to have them general “numb” feeling and I feel that my anger can be triggered in certain situations in which I am working on. Perhaps that is symptoms of my PTSD but I will have to say that I went from hell to being able to manage all this over the years. A few days ago, I was speaking with a therapist that I left a message for that was finally getting back to me even though I have found a therapist and am working with him now. Nonetheless, she did a general inquiry with me and a consultation. One thing I never told a therapist was that this all started after I took LSD. So when I started explaining to her in a short story of my traumas and what started this weird thing with me after I took LSD. she said, let me ask you a question. Have you ever heard of HPPD? I told her I had no idea, I never heard of it. She said that I should seek a Therapist a deals with it. She would continue on telling me that it is a disorder that occurs as an after effect from taking Hallucinogenic drugs. I was completely baffled! So I started researching it and finding that smoking weed tends to make symptoms increase which I totally agree because it was doing that to me but I didn’t know that I had HPPD so I discontinued dabbling with weed. As I continue to investigate this disorder, I was amazed to find out that I am not the only one. I wanted to share my story so that others who may be experiencing these type of symptoms. I want you to know you’re not alone. I must say that I feel truly relieved to be labeled something. Because, all these years I never knew what was wrong with me.
Dude ... I'm sorry to hear about your struggle but you've got the comoletely wrong end of the stick. The problem is not the LSD. The problem is thinking what you were experiencing was negative. The LSD did a tremendous job at unlocking your inner pain and bringing it to the surface. The problem that we live in a society that doesn't know how to honestly look at pain and trauma so we try to get rid of it instead of appreciating it as part of the healing process. If you were in a supportive environment that knew how to interpret and then help you with the healing process if could have been a wonderful experience for you.
I rarely hear about the eyesocket pressure which is my main problem along with frontal headaches and anxiety. Tho idk if it was caused by substance trauma or something else.
For me it's like I'm having ego death all day ffs feels like my brain has a fever all the time
Hell I’m 62 and suffer this depersonalization
Same feels like for me ego death all day
Very interesting. Was unaware of this issue.
I've never been the same since I was puddled with thousands of mics of Amber by Tour cats when I was 16. It's not merely visual distortion, it's hypersensitivity to the reality of inevitable death, existential dread and the feeling of being on borrowed time. Life, death - whats the difference? Paradox. Somehow I've adapted and learned to function - albiet very difficult without opioid dependence. All the people off Dead Tour I know who were printed and puddled got strung out - just trying to achieve some peace. I find this whole idea that psychedelics help mental health ridiculous. It's a psychotomimetic, not entheogen.
I have type 2 with lots of permanent color pattern s light flashes and permanent tracers from doing lots of psychedelics from 13-16, I used to eat sheets of acid and ounces of cubenses ( not at onc but like 3 tab a day every day for a month straight thinking it wouldnt hurt me cause everyone says psychedelics are harmless, well let me tell you wait till your in your mid to late 20’s before you trip as it caused all sorts of permanent issues.
You can't take acid every day. It won't work. Every three days. I did that for years, in the 70s, never had a bad trip, it was all good. I have some persistent effects, they are mild and not bothersome, just a haze of colour around things if I look in a certain way, small things like that. If I close my eyes, and look 'out' I can dimly see the psychedelic mindfield, if I focus real closely it will become more and more clear. I have no issues with this.
I was born with I guess, never done drugs.
I would be very surprised when I realized I had it I was dibiltated I went into complete psychosis.Heard voices seen things that weren't there tasted things smelled things that weren't there felt as if I was a puppet being controlled ran around town screaming and crying every night for months I've experienced the closest thing to hell I can think of.Now 6 years later it's more mild but when people say this it goes to show the lack of research that went into psychedelics as well as of how it's minimized frequently by people.I remember visual snow as a child but nothing like hppd and what I went threw and continue to go threw
When it comes to Joe Rogan and psychedelics he's an infant! He started to "Dabble" well past his mid to late 30's, and he won't ever speak of the downsides! To say this is flashback propaganda show's how little of an understanding he has! Some day's if he's in one of his "Moods" he'll argue against something that next week he agrees with! People whom frequently use marijuana tend to become argumentative and exhibit strange mood variations, this too is something he'd argue against, and has!
Sounds to me like an issue of understanding. HPPD seems like people are seeing life more clearly and it scares them. They've started to wake up a little but haven't continued the process.
No bro, that's romanticizing, you're literally hallucinating sober, that the floor and walls are constantly moving is not being awake, that the lights at night become so bright that It prevents you from driving at 100% is not being awake, that it is difficult for you to sleep because you see colors even with your eyes closed is not "being awake"
You saved me from commenting that ,i think he's on about acid visuals which some still get when they Come down with the high gone and they see normal next day ,but very small % have acud psych visuals forever whats meant to be 'soft hppd'.
Typical psych head answer completely oblivious to anything other than psychedelics only doing good
@@jarradocallaghan2431 haha. Well u explain the problem other than..... "I'm scared I feel different"
This is a completely made up phenomenon by sheltered suburban kids who are scared shitless the first time they realize that life is notthe bullshit that they've been focefed their whole lives. So get out of here with your bullshit critique as if you have any idea what you're talking about.
@@waynesilverman3048he is I'm sure that mind set is dangerous and can lead to extremely bad symptoms if you truly believe that it is awakening and you need to keep taking psychedelics.