This “do things shitty” talk reminds me of the time I overheard a surgeon talking to his second surgical patient of the day. The man was all angry because the first surgery had run late. The surgeon told him “well, I can do a half-ass job on you and get caught back up” Dude got quiet real quick. Some things can be done shitty and some can’t. Hope we can all figure out which is which. 😂
I so love your concept of doing it poorly, but at least getting something done instead of doing nothing.Because we can't do it perfectly.Thank you Cas I love that
I cannot express how thankful I am for this video, Cass. I so needed to hear all this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤❤ ALSO, I'm super proud of you!! I was listening to your story and tearing up because your background brought you here, to this point in life where you are helping SO MANY PEOPLE. You're a gorgeous woman, inside AND outside. Thank you for your kindness ❤❤❤❤
You have been a huge inspiration for me. I didn’t have much positive encouragement growing up, and you’ve been that cheerleader and example for me. Thank you! ❤
Your whole life's testimony has been set up to save all of us. Thank you for being able to be so honest with us so we can be pulled out, too. It's so inspiring.
Cas, this is such freeing advice. My mother was a very good teacher and tutored students after school in her retirement for 30 years, only stopping in her mid 80s as dementia set in. Her specialty was teaching children to read and maths. She helped so many children who struggled in primary school who went on to have very successful careers, one a world renowned orchestra conductor. Something I noticed during her tutoring years, and verbalized to her, was that she gave them a safe environment to fail without shame. Many children won’t try in the class environment because they don’t want to fail and be embarrassed. When they went to her, it was one-to-one and she would try different techniques with them until she found something they could succeed with. Then she would help them build their academia with appropriate building blocks and techniques from there. Many students became very precious extended members of our family, and she theirs, and they stayed with her right through till they left high school. I am a perfectionist too - thank you again for giving us permission to fail until we don’t. Much love from NSW Australia ❤ 🇦🇺 ☺️
Thank you so much for the permission to do things half-assed, because crappy is a heckuva lot better, than not at all. You are a genius! Also, I can't believe how gorgeous you're looking lately. That part of whatever you're doing, sure isn't crappy!
YES. I've passed up countless opportunities in the past because of my fear-based perfectionism. Cas, I think about your philosophy surrounding this everyday and it's slowly but surely made my life ridiculously, wonderfully better! 🤯 Thank you for being BRAVE and putting your vulnerabilities out there; you are changing lives. We are HUMAN and we will make mistakes, but the point was never to be perfect! I will be first in line for your book when it comes out!
My best example of doing things badly was deciding that I would limit my sugar intake by ONLY switching how I took my coffee. I was already someone who mostly made their own at home, but I was a triple triple girl who always added a sour cream glazed doughnut on the side when going through the drive thru. And I had a chocolate bar at least once per day,.. and that was the least of it. My sugar intake was high! I decided to switch to a coffee with milk only - but my rule for myself was that I could eat as much chocolate as I wanted while drinking that coffee. My sugar intake is now 1% of what it once was. Here's how that went: I initially indulged in a lot of chocolate until I liked the coffee enough that when I "forgot" to stock up on chocolate, I was okay. The chocolate habit just sort of tapered off over time. And since Timmy's coffee doesn't taste as good as the stuff I make at home, the drive thru no longer appealed, so the doughnuts became rarer. I only consciously switched my coffee and saw huge results that felt mostly effortless. The remainder was all in (sort of) following the spirit of the initial goal without making additional rules for myself. By the way, I love making rules to follow, but I'm a rebel at heart. It's a problem. I'm still trying to find the equivalent non-negotiable for keeping my home clean, but for now, if I'm stuck about getting started, I just sweep my floor. It fries my perfectionist brain because I've started with the wrong thing. And then I've somehow given myself permission to finish as badly as I started, so more gets done. That's the first win. If I stop after sweeping, though, I've done the thing that matters most to me. I seem to get anxiety from stepping on dirt, so I can calm down just by breaking out my lobby broom for a few seconds if I find myself more irritable some days. I love that a bad mood can now trigger a solution that leads to a cleaner home. Thanks for all the inspiration! Your approach has been super helpful. I'm a perfectionist that was raised by perfectionists, but while I still have the eyes that see the crazy details, I know I have better strategies now so I can relax a lot more and in the end get better results. I especially loved your 30 day challenge in September. And by the way, I did that badly. I blitzed more than I should have and finished in October, but it kinda honoured my cleaning style, and my home is much better now than it was in August, so thanks! I've also implemented that "5 items in 5 minutes" goal since then for spaces that I didn't reach during the September blitz. That challenge was a huge gift!
To be honest, I first tried this method on a household cleaner, and then on a child. I introduced learning system to my child based on small portions, something every day. It requires planning, but for a child with ADHD, a system of small doses of learning works wonders. it's the same with the house, small doses, morning and evening, washing and drying, 3 minutes each, then no problem, I fold one piece of laundry and take it out while listening to my favorite song, it takes less time than the song. The system of doing things in small, imperfect portions is very effective in many areas of life.
I had been putting off re-doing the sealant around the top of the bath - it had gaps so was probably letting water go down the side. But its such a hassle to do it "properly " that I'd left it for months. In the end I decided it was fine to just go over the top of it with some clear sealant I'd had to use in the kitchen that day because that sealant just fell off when I was cleaning!! It took 15 minutes to sort the bathroom and is now watertight. One day when I have the time and energy and will to "do it properly" I can scrape it all off and re do it beautifully in bathroom white instead. Or it can live like that till this stuff fails in several years, more likely
I can relate. Ive distractions, to help other people, instead of working on my personal. Caring of husband ex a kid and aging parents. Today everything has changed, divorce, kid grew up, my mom recently passed away. So it is just me to take care of, its the hardest thing in my life at 61
I painted two canvases in kind of a goopy abstract galaxy inspired vibe that I've been putting off for 2 months. Now I have art for my wall with colours I like that didn't cost an arm and a leg. 😊
I am too … I am 52 no kids and have ME/CFS … so ADHD … chaotic house … fed up boyfriend … so I know what you feel, I am a looser in every area in my life … my decisions are crappy 🤷♀️ so … watching you gives me hope … 😘🤗🤗🤗
I am such a perfectionist it can be frustrating. I think it came from my mother, she could be very over critical towards me and it somehow sticks in your head that feeling that you need to be perfect otherwise you're a complete failure. I'm always trying to remind myself I don't need to be perfect.
So I embraced your advice to do it crappy today. The soft ginger cookie dough seemed way too soft when I tried to roll it into a ball before rolling it in sugar. All I did was smear it all over my palms! I almost gave up in tears, but then I remembered what you said. So instead I dolloped the dough into the sugar, covered it roughly, and put it on the cookie sheet. Baked for 10 minutes, they came out a bit flat and too crispy on the sides. So I reduced the time to 8 minutes. But as the batches went on, they got flatter and flatter. By the end, they looked really sad. But family members who ate them said they were still soft and fluffy in the middles and made happy "mmmmm" sounds. So I adjusted my recipe to remove the dough from the fridge in smaller batches and bake it for less time to accommodate its softer nature. I chalked it up to a learning experience and ate a warm, yummy cookie. Thanks, Cas!
It’s taken me about 10 years to get to a clean and organised home I’m happy with. I tried all the systems that wouldn’t work for me and I got really frustrated. It all started to fall into place when I was watching a medical show that mentioned that phrase “First do no harm” and I decided to apply that to my cleaning an organising. Taking the pressure off, not striving for an end goal just committing to not letting it get worse. Gradual improvement over a long time and I feel I’m good, not perfect, but good. I never would have got there if I kept going for perfect and best
Cricket here folding 3 full 11kg loads of laundry and feeling good to put them away neat and colorcoordinated.But thanks to you I declutter my home crappy every day, 1 to 2 big trash bags a week.Don't organize yet just throwing stuff away,gets easier everytime.Thank you for giving permission to suck
Got your message: Perfectionism and procrastination are both paralyzing. Thanks for the encouragement to make progress - one shitty step at a time. You’re the best, Cass.
I've just started on decluttering our storage room in the basement and I decided to move all the stuff into our spare room upstairs and then only put the stuff back into storage that we actually want to keep. This has been doubling as a great workout going up and down the stairs a million times! In the past I would have probably thought that it would be too much work to do that, but since I want to get in shape, I've convinced myself that it's a good thing that the two rooms are completely across the house from each other. I also have a time limit because we'll be getting a new foster kid in the spare room soon, so I just gotta motor through it whether I feel like it or not. I used to only keep a clean home because my mom is a neat freak and I would invite her over once a week so that it would force me to clean. My whole family is autistic and ADHD and we always end up getting foster kids with ADHD and autism as well, but there's something about the need to get it done that forces me to get it done (organization helps a lot with kids on the spectrum, even if they have a hard time keeping organized). In the beginning, home inspections were so stressful and now keeping up with the housework is almost second nature. It's still not fun, but there's something about the challenge that makes it more rewarding.
🔔 Ding! Yes, this resonates with me. The nurse asked me what I do for fitness. I said stationary bike. Every day? Half an hour? Nope, 3 days per week and 8 minutes at a time. It's lame. But it's what I can do.
it's not lame at all, it's incredible! 3 times a week takes dedication and commitment and eventually, those 8 minutes may turn into 10 OR you just might pedal faster because it feels easier... All around, this is a perfect example of how doing something "crappy" is also doing something amazing.
I have such a problem with this, it's terrible. I am in such a rut right now because of my tendencies, I really needed to hear this right now. Thanks so much! ❤
You are an awesome lady! I so enjoyed the decluttering month with you! I have recommended you to some friends. I appreciate your story. Thank you for all you are doing to help people. May God bless you!
I’m so glad you are taking baby fitness steps. It will all add up! Thank you for your inspiring programs. It’s a whole new world for me since I retired and my husband passed away. I am making sense of things, slowly and steadily. Your messages are of such benefit! 💐💐💐
Taking action - getting ready for bed at a decent hour - thank you ADHD lol - so letting my brain rest and recharge for tomorrow with your message of self love, grace, and compassion despite crappy childhoods with bad decisions like compounding interest. Working towards peace. Thanks for sharing your stories and inspiring us 🤗
I may be just passively listening to this video, but I have to soak my feet and apply a medical cream to my toes 3 times a day. Your videos help make the time pass so much faster. Yesterday, I washed the dishes, picked up all the clutter from my cars and house, tidied the kitchen and family room, and swept the kitchen and my bedroom, and the trash was out by 4 pm. Everything looked so much better. Plus, I had to treat my feet 3 times. My next step is the office and pay bills, file papers, and fold and put away all the laundry. I'm also making weekend plans. If you're taking a trip, Grandma Walton said, "If you pack your bag today, you won't miss your train tomorrow." Oh, I forgot to shred the paper by the shredder. If the shredder is near your desk, you will use it. Thanks for your videos that I watch over and over for dozens of reasons.
Great I've been telling myself it doesn't have to be perfect for 7 days and I've done so well....I'm so thankful for your .....time honesty humanity wisdom humour just being you!
I love this message! I had a lot of early success in life and when i started to fail instead of picking myself up I beat myself down. I feel like my life is so chaotic and messy. I tried one of your programs but just didn't put the time into it and over a year passed and I feel I've gotten worse.I guess I get caught up in the details and it stops me from trying just like your daughter. Thanks for giving me a glimmer of hope.❤ ❤❤
Cass, I love the episodes where you are sitting in a chair, talking right to me while I'm cleaning - a little heart to heart. When I put these on, I can clean and declutter for hours. Any chance you could pop all the solo episodes into a playlist?
I'm trying to get my daughter to get inspired by you and minimal Mom, 🙏😊. She is so good at organizing put I think she is over welmed , finally she's letting me help her 🙏, she has a 22 month old baby girl I'm so excited about going to spend time with them ❤. thank you wonderful Cass I'm so proud of you 👏❤️.
I love this video! I will say, as a fellow chronic fail-er, my fear of failure is mostly just knowing how bad things can get and not wanting it to get that bad again.
Sometimes just dusting my vanity and clearing it out of trash and doing my bed makes a difference in my room! It’s still so bad but it gives me peace in places that take up a lot of visual space
This speaks to me SOOO much. I am your daughter (not in a creepy way 😉) and that’s why I’ve struggled for YEARS!!!! Tell her she is so privileged to learn that lesson young. ❤️
And that’s probably why we’ve learned from her and why she’s so passionate at us “getting it.” I’ve noticed that the folks who have it down and are great at stuff frequently lack the patience to teach others how!
I took notes. I’m constantly cleaning and decluttering. I feel like I’m never getting to the end I understand and I have 58 years of clutter. I love love love your podcast my son‘s room hadn’t he switched to a smaller room. He didn’t want his dresser anymore cause he’s 17 so I fixed that I put a smaller dresser in the closet and raise the bar for his clothes and shut the door and he has the perfect amount of organization and still gets what he wants more floor space. I also bought a very tall bookcase to get everything off off the floor, including his like 15 boxes of shoeboxes empty because he thinks it’s cool to have shoeboxes for some reason so they’re on the top shelf and he’s happy. It takes me five minutes to clean the house. I mean the room sorry It’s not hard to put his laundry away because I have someplace to put it so I just collect the trash, the dishes, the dirty, laundry, and fold the laundry put it away and then I walk out and I breathe. It’s funny how it causes him anxiety to have a messy room, but that’s all he ever does is mess up his room, but it’s funny because it causes me anxiety as well to have a messy house and I feel like it’s the only thing I can control in life how clean my house is love you girl
@@jacki838yeah his name is Jack too haha - so he does but when it’s out of handit’s like he can’t function so I make it better and then he maintains -he’s 17 in birth years I feel like he’s going on seven😂
@katebaker8763 my son doesn't have a lot of "executive skills," so he had an awful time trying to clean or organize his room. And his ADHD wasn't diagnosed until his senior year of HS, so he'd be distracted by each thing he picked up to put away! It wasn't fun, but the diagnosis gave us a place to start looking for information and help!
When I have no energy, which happens frequently, I use my down time to plot ways to break up different chores that need doing. As simple as carrying something with me into the kitchen, or dropping a basket of laundry by the cellar stairs. I look at my list of tasks that's building on my phone, pre-thinking the easiest way to get them done. I have a lot of yard work to do. I stepped outside the other day, grabbed a light-weight seat and my loppers, sat near some tall weeds and lopped every weed within reach near its base, building a good-sized pile behind me. Every few minutes, I moved my seat closer to the next batch. I had to take a few breaks, but I didn't do anything too strenuous, so I was able to return to my task. I'll go back to gather them onto a tarp on another day, and drag them off the lawn. It can be done! The front door has some spots that need paint. I can gather the paint, brush, and stirrer ahead of time, so it won't be a day-long project when I get the opportunity. I just need to focus on assembling what I need ahead of time, then it'll take 15 minutes to do.
Sounds very much like your September 5 minute challenge and Dana’s 5 minutes better. For years I had what I called “stolen moments” (washing two dishes while microwave is running). What you and Dana teach is a level up from what I was doing. I am getting better at the doing incomplete jobs more consistently. I’ve used baby steps to get out of debt and to build savings, now my house is benefiting from other baby steps. Close is good enough, gets you closer to your goal than doing nothing.
So when you said get up and do something, I actually did for a change! I'm a long time fan and this is maybe the 3rd time I've done that when you said it. The other times were decluttering. I am making progress. Today, I emptied the dishwasher and scrubbed the gunk on the flat top stove! (My pet peeve). I am the same as your daughter and I'm 65! So glad she has your teaching to learn earlier that you don't have to do things perfectly or not at all. A little bit helps so much and it does become a habit if you DO SOMETHING! Years ago, I made a cross stitch of the saying, "Little things mean a lot". Maybe I need to do another that says, "little things add up to big things!" Love you Cas and kudos on turning around your life and thinking to make a good life for you and loved ones. Greetings and love from another (now former) volunteer fire lady 😊
This definitely resonated with me! I've started to take this approach with fitness, specifically strength training. A few push-ups here, a few sets of dumbbell exercises there, a walk around the neighborhood, etc. Not even every day, maybe a few times a week. It doesn't feel like much, but I have to remind myself that it's more than what I was doing before - which was nothing 😂 and after a few months of this, I've already noticed my strength and muscle tone slowly increasing. Seeing several little improvements consistently seems much more rewarding than seeing one big "success". Perfectionism is such a struggle for me. I would totally buy your book in a heartbeat!
Thank you Cas!!!! Ive been on the overcoming perfectionism journey for just over year and had hit a bit of a road block. Thank you for allowing me to be average (that word makes my skin crawl🫣) but average and crappy is how I'm going to cary on. Baby step by baby step. Thank you ❤
This is ALL such great advice!, makes so much sense. Reminds me of the book "Atomic Habits" which I read recently and loved !!!! Thanks Cass for always providing great content. One tip for you maybe I've learned with my kids is a rule of No eating in their rooms!
I suck at everything too Cas. ❤ At least all the life skills/ adulting stuff. I am good at intangible stuff. Like being friendly and kind and compassionate and content and wanting the best for others and being honest and forgiveness. And a great sense of humor. All really great qualities that I do know don't come naturally to everyone. But I am a hot mess in life. Always love hearing from you and your wisdom and journey. And all the wonderful things you have done and achieved and changed. And all the ways you continue to grow. I am big on growth. ❤ I am not a perfectionist. And I do things shitty. I fully agree it is better than doing nothing.
I'm almost 10 minutes in and had to stop to say how uncanny the similarities are in my life compared to Cass's. I'm so grateful that we get to listen to her talk to us like friends. ❤ p.s. I just finished putting my laundry put away! 🎉
And now you are a firefighter. This mindset of "It hasn't to be perfect, only better" helped me so much this year. It first was very foreign, now I'm trying to teach it to my mom, lol. Loved this episode! Oh, I can't even break down cardboard boxes and listen to a podcast... No idea what kind neuro-divergency I have. I cant multitask very well. So I do some stuff first, and then sit down and listen to you. 😂
Today I’ve been pondering on doing something for tomorrow me. The phrase has just released my anxiety and it’s ok, I think I’ll be able to do things today (without thinking of it as today) but for tomorrow me. Not sure why I’ve just had the massive mind shift. Thanks Cas.❤
Right now I just use whatever kinds of containers I can find; old baskets, different sizes of cardboard boxes and baggies. Eventually I plan to either have better containers or to do the cardboard ones up fancy (for example, cover them with fabric). I find that the boxes canning jars come in are a great size for storage.
I used to be a perfectionist and not trying something unless I felt I’d be perfect the first time. Then my kids’ school curriculum was called Learning Journey. That day I gave myself permission to learn something and not judge my efforts. I’d have success whether I found out I liked it or not or enjoyed it and looked forward to having another go.❤
Our “shity” thing or idea we did with my teen boy (but actually not a bad idea) we had two twin beds in his room one in each corner plus his computer desk, with very minimal room to walk around, but the he came up with the great idea that why not push both beds together into one and move it one corner and his desk to the other corner and let me tell you just by moving those two things the room looks soo spacious and now he has a queen bed 😂 without having to spend a dime. Its a win win situation. Never in my mind did it crossed my mind to combine bothe twin beds into one and u get a queen bed instantly. 🎉 Its may not look perfect but hey my teen loved and thats all it matters we not here to be perfect right. Its was works best for you. ❤😊
As we know better, we do better. It's all an evolving process. I am glad you got to the positive stuff, I was feeling bad about your description of yourself. We all have history.
Ooph..."..wishes and dreams if you're not brave enough to make it a goal." That revelation pretty much summed up one of my life's struggles. And lit a spark. Thank you!! 🧡💥
What you said in this podcast is very similar to what another podcaster & ADHD coach, Caren Magill says. Caren says: "No one comes out of the gate even close to perfect. You have to put in the reps that you want to get good at."
I'm a perfectionist so often feel like if I can't do something perfectly it's not worth doing at all but I have to embrace the crappy and just do what I can.
Nice ending 😉 "It's amazing how being bad can be so good." Love that ❤ ("Let's break bad" - haha - well with stuff that is good) Thx - really helpful and inspiring.
Thank you Cas love this oh heck I love everyone of your podcasts ❤. Yes so me I do crappy steps to get me by and today I didn't do alot but I did fill big donation box and took care dirty dishes and laundry filling medications day isn't finished. Thank you I feel it's ok 👍
This is helpful! I have several overwhelming projects I’ve been putting off. I didn’t really do anything while watching this, but I did pause your video in the middle and went and filmed a low standard UA-cam video and then came back and watched the rest - does that count? haha.
Most days, I do the dishes and related wiping up, vacuum, and put things away. Because of this, people think my house is really clean. It's not. For instance, I don't wash my floors very often. But they see tidy and no obvious dirt, and it registers as clean. More importantly, I feel that way. My place is far from perfect and there are things I think I should clean more often but it's much better than it used to be and I feel good about that.
You are so singing more song. Although I played all sports and have had a successful career. I have sucked at being a wife homemaker and mother. You are so right I have always felt like I was never going to.accomplosh this i always going to.have a messy cluttered house and didn't grow.up that way but ADHD is a kicker the. Menopause starts and girl it is 100% worse. I told my crazy doctor that I just want to get my house done where I can feel like I accomplished something in my life. She the pointed out all the I had accomplished with my career but for some reason that isn't the same to me. I am so grateful to have found you and this group
With depression I’ve forgone the to do list and find it better just to do a random job. I found I was stressing about getting motivated to do the list. I also try job doubling where if I taking out the trash, I might take out the gardening gloves and fill the organics bin for 5 mins.
Genius! My shitty project is the mountain of boxes that has been growing in the garage rather than being recycled. I’ve been waiting for the “perfect” time to remove labels and break them down. They are now in the recycle bin for the trash truck to crush them. Thanks for the encouragement to do a shitty job.
My tip that I keep forgetting to do 😂😂is tighten your butt and tummy muscles when your working at the sink, or do leg lifts; especially if your like me and have hours of sink work todo everyday! ❤
I am so glad you found what you are good at!!! I’m 8+ min into your video and almost crying. Most people would have given up. You are so strong, so talented and so beautiful. And, helping and encouraging so many people!
I try doing chores when I’m feeling blah so when I’m happy again, I can do a fun thing instead of the boring thing.
I hit the like button at “today I’m giving you permission to really suck” 😂😂😂 thank you. I needed that
This “do things shitty” talk reminds me of the time I overheard a surgeon talking to his second surgical patient of the day. The man was all angry because the first surgery had run late. The surgeon told him “well, I can do a half-ass job on you and get caught back up” Dude got quiet real quick.
Some things can be done shitty and some can’t. Hope we can all figure out which is which. 😂
Haha good one!! 😂😂😂😂
This is sooooo trueee! From crappy solution to crappy solution, I ended up with a functional home ✨️
My motto is “It doesn’t have to get done perfectly, it just has to get done”. Then later I can make it pretty. Thats the fun part! 😁
Love ur moto 👏🤗❤
For me, that's like the difference between drafting a paper and editing it
I so love your concept of doing it poorly, but at least getting something done instead of doing nothing.Because we can't do it perfectly.Thank you Cas I love that
I cannot express how thankful I am for this video, Cass. I so needed to hear all this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤❤ ALSO, I'm super proud of you!! I was listening to your story and tearing up because your background brought you here, to this point in life where you are helping SO MANY PEOPLE. You're a gorgeous woman, inside AND outside. Thank you for your kindness ❤❤❤❤
You have been a huge inspiration for me. I didn’t have much positive encouragement growing up, and you’ve been that cheerleader and example for me. Thank you! ❤
Your whole life's testimony has been set up to save all of us. Thank you for being able to be so honest with us so we can be pulled out, too. It's so inspiring.
Cas, this is such freeing advice. My mother was a very good teacher and tutored students after school in her retirement for 30 years, only stopping in her mid 80s as dementia set in. Her specialty was teaching children to read and maths. She helped so many children who struggled in primary school who went on to have very successful careers, one a world renowned orchestra conductor.
Something I noticed during her tutoring years, and verbalized to her, was that she gave them a safe environment to fail without shame. Many children won’t try in the class environment because they don’t want to fail and be embarrassed. When they went to her, it was one-to-one and she would try different techniques with them until she found something they could succeed with. Then she would help them build their academia with appropriate building blocks and techniques from there. Many students became very precious extended members of our family, and she theirs, and they stayed with her right through till they left high school.
I am a perfectionist too - thank you again for giving us permission to fail until we don’t. Much love from NSW Australia ❤ 🇦🇺 ☺️
Thank you so much for the permission to do things half-assed, because crappy is a heckuva lot better, than not at all.
You are a genius! Also, I can't believe how gorgeous you're looking lately. That part of whatever you're doing, sure isn't crappy!
YES. I've passed up countless opportunities in the past because of my fear-based perfectionism. Cas, I think about your philosophy surrounding this everyday and it's slowly but surely made my life ridiculously, wonderfully better! 🤯 Thank you for being BRAVE and putting your vulnerabilities out there; you are changing lives. We are HUMAN and we will make mistakes, but the point was never to be perfect! I will be first in line for your book when it comes out!
My best example of doing things badly was deciding that I would limit my sugar intake by ONLY switching how I took my coffee. I was already someone who mostly made their own at home, but I was a triple triple girl who always added a sour cream glazed doughnut on the side when going through the drive thru. And I had a chocolate bar at least once per day,.. and that was the least of it. My sugar intake was high! I decided to switch to a coffee with milk only - but my rule for myself was that I could eat as much chocolate as I wanted while drinking that coffee. My sugar intake is now 1% of what it once was. Here's how that went: I initially indulged in a lot of chocolate until I liked the coffee enough that when I "forgot" to stock up on chocolate, I was okay. The chocolate habit just sort of tapered off over time. And since Timmy's coffee doesn't taste as good as the stuff I make at home, the drive thru no longer appealed, so the doughnuts became rarer. I only consciously switched my coffee and saw huge results that felt mostly effortless. The remainder was all in (sort of) following the spirit of the initial goal without making additional rules for myself. By the way, I love making rules to follow, but I'm a rebel at heart. It's a problem.
I'm still trying to find the equivalent non-negotiable for keeping my home clean, but for now, if I'm stuck about getting started, I just sweep my floor. It fries my perfectionist brain because I've started with the wrong thing. And then I've somehow given myself permission to finish as badly as I started, so more gets done. That's the first win. If I stop after sweeping, though, I've done the thing that matters most to me. I seem to get anxiety from stepping on dirt, so I can calm down just by breaking out my lobby broom for a few seconds if I find myself more irritable some days. I love that a bad mood can now trigger a solution that leads to a cleaner home.
Thanks for all the inspiration! Your approach has been super helpful. I'm a perfectionist that was raised by perfectionists, but while I still have the eyes that see the crazy details, I know I have better strategies now so I can relax a lot more and in the end get better results.
I especially loved your 30 day challenge in September. And by the way, I did that badly. I blitzed more than I should have and finished in October, but it kinda honoured my cleaning style, and my home is much better now than it was in August, so thanks! I've also implemented that "5 items in 5 minutes" goal since then for spaces that I didn't reach during the September blitz. That challenge was a huge gift!
To be honest, I first tried this method on a household cleaner, and then on a child. I introduced learning system to my child based on small portions, something every day. It requires planning, but for a child with ADHD, a system of small doses of learning works wonders. it's the same with the house, small doses, morning and evening, washing and drying, 3 minutes each, then no problem, I fold one piece of laundry and take it out while listening to my favorite song, it takes less time than the song. The system of doing things in small, imperfect portions is very effective in many areas of life.
Just don’t let anyone put you down for doing something to a standard lower than theirs. Enjoy getting something done! ❤
I had been putting off re-doing the sealant around the top of the bath - it had gaps so was probably letting water go down the side.
But its such a hassle to do it "properly " that I'd left it for months. In the end I decided it was fine to just go over the top of it with some clear sealant I'd had to use in the kitchen that day because that sealant just fell off when I was cleaning!!
It took 15 minutes to sort the bathroom and is now watertight. One day when I have the time and energy and will to "do it properly" I can scrape it all off and re do it beautifully in bathroom white instead. Or it can live like that till this stuff fails in several years, more likely
I can relate. Ive distractions, to help other people, instead of working on my personal. Caring of husband ex a kid and aging parents. Today everything has changed, divorce, kid grew up, my mom recently passed away. So it is just me to take care of, its the hardest thing in my life at 61
I painted two canvases in kind of a goopy abstract galaxy inspired vibe that I've been putting off for 2 months. Now I have art for my wall with colours I like that didn't cost an arm and a leg. 😊
I am too … I am 52 no kids and have ME/CFS … so ADHD … chaotic house … fed up boyfriend … so I know what you feel, I am a looser in every area in my life … my decisions are crappy 🤷♀️ so … watching you gives me hope … 😘🤗🤗🤗
I am such a perfectionist it can be frustrating. I think it came from my mother, she could be very over critical towards me and it somehow sticks in your head that feeling that you need to be perfect otherwise you're a complete failure. I'm always trying to remind myself I don't need to be perfect.
So I embraced your advice to do it crappy today. The soft ginger cookie dough seemed way too soft when I tried to roll it into a ball before rolling it in sugar. All I did was smear it all over my palms!
I almost gave up in tears, but then I remembered what you said. So instead I dolloped the dough into the sugar, covered it roughly, and put it on the cookie sheet.
Baked for 10 minutes, they came out a bit flat and too crispy on the sides. So I reduced the time to 8 minutes. But as the batches went on, they got flatter and flatter.
By the end, they looked really sad. But family members who ate them said they were still soft and fluffy in the middles and made happy "mmmmm" sounds.
So I adjusted my recipe to remove the dough from the fridge in smaller batches and bake it for less time to accommodate its softer nature. I chalked it up to a learning experience and ate a warm, yummy cookie. Thanks, Cas!
I use your podcasts every morning to get ready for my day. Some days it's just hard to get up. Thank you for helping, Cass.
I love your video podcasts so much. I have been coming to these videos for a little dose of gentle tough love and some very grounding reality checks.
It’s taken me about 10 years to get to a clean and organised home I’m happy with. I tried all the systems that wouldn’t work for me and I got really frustrated. It all started to fall into place when I was watching a medical show that mentioned that phrase “First do no harm” and I decided to apply that to my cleaning an organising. Taking the pressure off, not striving for an end goal just committing to not letting it get worse. Gradual improvement over a long time and I feel I’m good, not perfect, but good.
I never would have got there if I kept going for perfect and best
Perfect will change anyway, as your seasons change 😊
YES! Example: before kids vs after kids and what "good enough" looks like
Cricket here folding 3 full 11kg loads of laundry and feeling good to put them away neat and colorcoordinated.But thanks to you I declutter my home crappy every day, 1 to 2 big trash bags a week.Don't organize yet just throwing stuff away,gets easier everytime.Thank you for giving permission to suck
Got your message: Perfectionism and procrastination are both paralyzing. Thanks for the encouragement to make progress - one shitty step at a time.
You’re the best, Cass.
I've just started on decluttering our storage room in the basement and I decided to move all the stuff into our spare room upstairs and then only put the stuff back into storage that we actually want to keep. This has been doubling as a great workout going up and down the stairs a million times!
In the past I would have probably thought that it would be too much work to do that, but since I want to get in shape, I've convinced myself that it's a good thing that the two rooms are completely across the house from each other. I also have a time limit because we'll be getting a new foster kid in the spare room soon, so I just gotta motor through it whether I feel like it or not.
I used to only keep a clean home because my mom is a neat freak and I would invite her over once a week so that it would force me to clean.
My whole family is autistic and ADHD and we always end up getting foster kids with ADHD and autism as well, but there's something about the need to get it done that forces me to get it done (organization helps a lot with kids on the spectrum, even if they have a hard time keeping organized).
In the beginning, home inspections were so stressful and now keeping up with the housework is almost second nature. It's still not fun, but there's something about the challenge that makes it more rewarding.
🔔 Ding! Yes, this resonates with me. The nurse asked me what I do for fitness. I said stationary bike. Every day? Half an hour? Nope, 3 days per week and 8 minutes at a time. It's lame. But it's what I can do.
it's not lame at all, it's incredible! 3 times a week takes dedication and commitment and eventually, those 8 minutes may turn into 10 OR you just might pedal faster because it feels easier... All around, this is a perfect example of how doing something "crappy" is also doing something amazing.
I have such a problem with this, it's terrible. I am in such a rut right now because of my tendencies, I really needed to hear this right now. Thanks so much! ❤
I just want to reach out and hug you. I want to let you know that you excell at bravery.❤ You're a great teacher for this. Thank you for being you 🥰
This was truly therapeutic...... Thank you!!!
Totally resonates with me. Cas you are such an inspiration and have followed you for a few years. Thank you for all you share ❤️ xx
Thank you for sharing your real life with us! You are so good at connecting with real people! ❤❤❤
You are an awesome lady! I so enjoyed the decluttering month with you! I have recommended you to some friends. I appreciate your story. Thank you for all you are doing to help people. May God bless you!
I’m so glad you are taking baby fitness steps. It will all add up!
Thank you for your inspiring programs. It’s a whole new world for me since I retired and my husband passed away. I am making sense of things, slowly and steadily. Your messages are of such benefit! 💐💐💐
Taking action - getting ready for bed at a decent hour - thank you ADHD lol - so letting my brain rest and recharge for tomorrow with your message of self love, grace, and compassion despite crappy childhoods with bad decisions like compounding interest. Working towards peace. Thanks for sharing your stories and inspiring us 🤗
I am so ready for this book Cas!
I may be just passively listening to this video, but I have to soak my feet and apply a medical cream to my toes 3 times a day. Your videos help make the time pass so much faster.
Yesterday, I washed the dishes, picked up all the clutter from my cars and house, tidied the kitchen and family room, and swept the kitchen and my bedroom, and the trash was out by 4 pm. Everything looked so much better. Plus, I had to treat my feet 3 times. My next step is the office and pay bills, file papers, and fold and put away all the laundry. I'm also making weekend plans. If you're taking a trip, Grandma Walton said, "If you pack your bag today, you won't miss your train tomorrow." Oh, I forgot to shred the paper by the shredder. If the shredder is near your desk, you will use it. Thanks for your videos that I watch over and over for dozens of reasons.
I think you are brilliant and see the world in a unique way that has changed my life so much. Thanks, Cas!
Thanks so much. Problems seem so big today. But every little bit does matter. Less to worry about tomorrow too!😊
Great I've been telling myself it doesn't have to be perfect for 7 days and I've done so well....I'm so thankful for your .....time honesty humanity wisdom humour just being you!
Thanl you for your authenticity and honesty. So refreshing and comforting.
I love this message! I had a lot of early success in life and when i started to fail instead of picking myself up I beat myself down. I feel like my life is so chaotic and messy. I tried one of your programs but just didn't put the time into it and over a year passed and I feel I've gotten worse.I guess I get caught up in the details and it stops me from trying just like your daughter. Thanks for giving me a glimmer of hope.❤ ❤❤
Cassie, you are such an inspiration!!! I need your upbeat personality in my life! It motivates me to get things done.
I fold n kept my laundry while listening to you cass . Thank you.
Such an inspirational insight. Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable.
Just wanted to give you BIG HUGS Cass! You are amazing!
Cass, I love the episodes where you are sitting in a chair, talking right to me while I'm cleaning - a little heart to heart. When I put these on, I can clean and declutter for hours. Any chance you could pop all the solo episodes into a playlist?
I'm trying to get my daughter to get inspired by you and minimal Mom, 🙏😊. She is so good at organizing put I think she is over welmed , finally she's letting me help her 🙏, she has a 22 month old baby girl I'm so excited about going to spend time with them ❤. thank you wonderful Cass I'm so proud of you 👏❤️.
I love this video! I will say, as a fellow chronic fail-er, my fear of failure is mostly just knowing how bad things can get and not wanting it to get that bad again.
Sometimes just dusting my vanity and clearing it out of trash and doing my bed makes a difference in my room! It’s still so bad but it gives me peace in places that take up a lot of visual space
This speaks to me SOOO much. I am your daughter (not in a creepy way 😉) and that’s why I’ve struggled for YEARS!!!! Tell her she is so privileged to learn that lesson young. ❤️
It’s crazy to hear about you not being good at everything, because I have learned so much from you! You have changed my life.
And that’s probably why we’ve learned from her and why she’s so passionate at us “getting it.” I’ve noticed that the folks who have it down and are great at stuff frequently lack the patience to teach others how!
I took notes. I’m constantly cleaning and decluttering. I feel like I’m never getting to the end I understand and I have 58 years of clutter. I love love love your podcast my son‘s room hadn’t he switched to a smaller room. He didn’t want his dresser anymore cause he’s 17 so I fixed that I put a smaller dresser in the closet and raise the bar for his clothes and shut the door and he has the perfect amount of organization and still gets what he wants more floor space. I also bought a very tall bookcase to get everything off off the floor, including his like 15 boxes of shoeboxes empty because he thinks it’s cool to have shoeboxes for some reason so they’re on the top shelf and he’s happy. It takes me five minutes to clean the house. I mean the room sorry It’s not hard to put his laundry away because I have someplace to put it so I just collect the trash, the dishes, the dirty, laundry, and fold the laundry put it away and then I walk out and I breathe. It’s funny how it causes him anxiety to have a messy room, but that’s all he ever does is mess up his room, but it’s funny because it causes me anxiety as well to have a messy house and I feel like it’s the only thing I can control in life how clean my house is love you girl
Time to let the 17 yo do his own cleaning?
@@jacki838yeah his name is Jack too haha - so he does but when it’s out of handit’s like he can’t function so I make it better and then he maintains -he’s 17 in birth years I feel like he’s going on seven😂
@katebaker8763 my son doesn't have a lot of "executive skills," so he had an awful time trying to clean or organize his room.
And his ADHD wasn't diagnosed until his senior year of HS, so he'd be distracted by each thing he picked up to put away!
It wasn't fun, but the diagnosis gave us a place to start looking for information and help!
When I have no energy, which happens frequently, I use my down time to plot ways to break up different chores that need doing.
As simple as carrying something with me into the kitchen, or dropping a basket of laundry by the cellar stairs.
I look at my list of tasks that's building on my phone, pre-thinking the easiest way to get them done.
I have a lot of yard work to do. I stepped outside the other day, grabbed a light-weight seat and my loppers, sat near some tall weeds and lopped every weed within reach near its base, building a good-sized pile behind me. Every few minutes, I moved my seat closer to the next batch.
I had to take a few breaks, but I didn't do anything too strenuous, so I was able to return to my task.
I'll go back to gather them onto a tarp on another day, and drag them off the lawn. It can be done!
The front door has some spots that need paint. I can gather the paint, brush, and stirrer ahead of time, so it won't be a day-long project when I get the opportunity. I just need to focus on assembling what I need ahead of time, then it'll take 15 minutes to do.
Sounds very much like your September 5 minute challenge and Dana’s 5 minutes better. For years I had what I called “stolen moments” (washing two dishes while microwave is running). What you and Dana teach is a level up from what I was doing. I am getting better at the doing incomplete jobs more consistently. I’ve used baby steps to get out of debt and to build savings, now my house is benefiting from other baby steps. Close is good enough, gets you closer to your goal than doing nothing.
Thank you Thank you. It is a relief. I have follow you advice a few months ago and it's liberating
It is temporary.
So when you said get up and do something, I actually did for a change! I'm a long time fan and this is maybe the 3rd time I've done that when you said it. The other times were decluttering. I am making progress. Today, I emptied the dishwasher and scrubbed the gunk on the flat top stove! (My pet peeve).
I am the same as your daughter and I'm 65!
So glad she has your teaching to learn earlier that you don't have to do things perfectly or not at all. A little bit helps so much and it does become a habit if you DO SOMETHING! Years ago, I made a cross stitch of the saying, "Little things mean a lot". Maybe I need to do another that says, "little things add up to big things!" Love you Cas and kudos on turning around your life and thinking to make a good life for you and loved ones. Greetings and love from another (now former) volunteer fire lady 😊
Well done Cass. You deserve all the success you have achieved. Great advice for us ADHDers
This definitely resonated with me! I've started to take this approach with fitness, specifically strength training. A few push-ups here, a few sets of dumbbell exercises there, a walk around the neighborhood, etc. Not even every day, maybe a few times a week. It doesn't feel like much, but I have to remind myself that it's more than what I was doing before - which was nothing 😂 and after a few months of this, I've already noticed my strength and muscle tone slowly increasing. Seeing several little improvements consistently seems much more rewarding than seeing one big "success".
Perfectionism is such a struggle for me. I would totally buy your book in a heartbeat!
This very much resonates. I don't think anything could resonate more 😅 working on it... Slowly & crappily!
Thank you Cas!!!! Ive been on the overcoming perfectionism journey for just over year and had hit a bit of a road block. Thank you for allowing me to be average (that word makes my skin crawl🫣) but average and crappy is how I'm going to cary on. Baby step by baby step. Thank you ❤
This is ALL such great advice!, makes so much sense. Reminds me of the book "Atomic Habits" which I read recently and loved !!!! Thanks Cass for always providing great content. One tip for you maybe I've learned with my kids is a rule of No eating in their rooms!
I suck at everything too Cas. ❤ At least all the life skills/ adulting stuff. I am good at intangible stuff. Like being friendly and kind and compassionate and content and wanting the best for others and being honest and forgiveness. And a great sense of humor. All really great qualities that I do know don't come naturally to everyone. But I am a hot mess in life. Always love hearing from you and your wisdom and journey. And all the wonderful things you have done and achieved and changed. And all the ways you continue to grow. I am big on growth. ❤ I am not a perfectionist. And I do things shitty. I fully agree it is better than doing nothing.
You've Changed My Life over the years! Now I get started without a perfect plan, because I never got started waiting to create a perfect plan.
You can walk a 5k or even a marathon. You’ll be one of the last ones finishing, but you’ll probably still get a medal for finishing.
I'm almost 10 minutes in and had to stop to say how uncanny the similarities are in my life compared to Cass's. I'm so grateful that we get to listen to her talk to us like friends. ❤ p.s. I just finished putting my laundry put away! 🎉
And now you are a firefighter.
This mindset of "It hasn't to be perfect, only better" helped me so much this year. It first was very foreign, now I'm trying to teach it to my mom, lol.
Loved this episode!
Oh, I can't even break down cardboard boxes and listen to a podcast... No idea what kind neuro-divergency I have. I cant multitask very well. So I do some stuff first, and then sit down and listen to you. 😂
Thanks, Cas! Spot on!
This method works for me. I have to innoculate myself to do something Ive dreaded. I can do a little . Next day a little more. Cant do the marathon.
Today I’ve been pondering on doing something for tomorrow me. The phrase has just released my anxiety and it’s ok, I think I’ll be able to do things today (without thinking of it as today) but for tomorrow me. Not sure why I’ve just had the massive mind shift. Thanks Cas.❤
Right now I just use whatever kinds of containers I can find; old baskets, different sizes of cardboard boxes and baggies. Eventually I plan to either have better containers or to do the cardboard ones up fancy (for example, cover them with fabric). I find that the boxes canning jars come in are a great size for storage.
I used to be a perfectionist and not trying something unless I felt I’d be perfect the first time. Then my kids’ school curriculum was called Learning Journey. That day I gave myself permission to learn something and not judge my efforts. I’d have success whether I found out I liked it or not or enjoyed it and looked forward to having another go.❤
Our “shity” thing or idea we did with my teen boy (but actually not a bad idea) we had two twin beds in his room one in each corner plus his computer desk, with very minimal room to walk around, but the he came up with the great idea that why not push both beds together into one and move it one corner and his desk to the other corner and let me tell you just by moving those two things the room looks soo spacious and now he has a queen bed 😂 without having to spend a dime. Its a win win situation. Never in my mind did it crossed my mind to combine bothe twin beds into one and u get a queen bed instantly. 🎉
Its may not look perfect but hey my teen loved and thats all it matters we not here to be perfect right. Its was works best for you. ❤😊
As we know better, we do better. It's all an evolving process. I am glad you got to the positive stuff, I was feeling bad about your description of yourself. We all have history.
Ooph..."..wishes and dreams if you're not brave enough to make it a goal." That revelation pretty much summed up one of my life's struggles. And lit a spark. Thank you!! 🧡💥
What you said in this podcast is very similar to what another podcaster & ADHD coach, Caren Magill says. Caren says: "No one comes out of the gate even close to perfect. You have to put in the reps that you want to get good at."
You are an inspiration!!!! Keep going!!!!!!❤❤❤
Baby woke up 5 times tonight! I was so excited you had a video drop!
I'm a perfectionist so often feel like if I can't do something perfectly it's not worth doing at all but I have to embrace the crappy and just do what I can.
Yes this resonated with me. I'm taking it to heart.
I didn't know this was the topic of your next book. Really looking forward to reading it!
Nice ending 😉
"It's amazing how being bad can be so good."
Love that ❤
("Let's break bad" - haha - well with stuff that is good)
Thx - really helpful and inspiring.
Thank you Cas love this oh heck I love everyone of your podcasts ❤. Yes so me I do crappy steps to get me by and today I didn't do alot but I did fill big donation box and took care dirty dishes and laundry filling medications day isn't finished. Thank you I feel it's ok 👍
This is helpful! I have several overwhelming projects I’ve been putting off. I didn’t really do anything while watching this, but I did pause your video in the middle and went and filmed a low standard UA-cam video and then came back and watched the rest - does that count? haha.
Most days, I do the dishes and related wiping up, vacuum, and put things away. Because of this, people think my house is really clean. It's not. For instance, I don't wash my floors very often. But they see tidy and no obvious dirt, and it registers as clean. More importantly, I feel that way. My place is far from perfect and there are things I think I should clean more often but it's much better than it used to be and I feel good about that.
Love this! This helps!! Thank you Cas ❤️❤️❤️
You are so singing more song. Although I played all sports and have had a successful career. I have sucked at being a wife homemaker and mother. You are so right I have always felt like I was never going to.accomplosh this i always going to.have a messy cluttered house and didn't grow.up that way but ADHD is a kicker the. Menopause starts and girl it is 100% worse. I told my crazy doctor that I just want to get my house done where I can feel like I accomplished something in my life. She the pointed out all the I had accomplished with my career but for some reason that isn't the same to me. I am so grateful to have found you and this group
With depression I’ve forgone the to do list and find it better just to do a random job. I found I was stressing about getting motivated to do the list. I also try job doubling where if I taking out the trash, I might take out the gardening gloves and fill the organics bin for 5 mins.
Genius! My shitty project is the mountain of boxes that has been growing in the garage rather than being recycled. I’ve been waiting for the “perfect” time to remove labels and break them down. They are now in the recycle bin for the trash truck to crush them. Thanks for the encouragement to do a shitty job.
Cas, you are such an inspiration 💙
Thank You!!!
Thank you. I needed to hear this today.
Thank you so much Cas!!!!
Your "pep talk" episodes are my favorite! ❤ thank you for sharing this message
This totally resonates with me!!!! Thank you
Thank you! I needed to hear this.
My tip that I keep forgetting to do 😂😂is tighten your butt and tummy muscles when your working at the sink, or do leg lifts; especially if your like me and have hours of sink work todo everyday! ❤
Always an important topic. I love listening to you impart wisdom, you're such an honest and relatable person ❤
I am so glad you found what you are good at!!! I’m 8+ min into your video and almost crying.
Most people would have given up. You are so strong, so talented and so beautiful. And, helping and encouraging so many people!