How do you think her kid is going to pay her the $250 a month she gave birth to that child if she wants to keep them home if they're willing to stay and work and go to school and save their money that is totally fair credit and finance that's how I learned because I was taught. She secretly saving the money it's no different than a college fund it's a homeowner's fund I think it's beautiful
Same, I was taught the value of money from a very early age without having to be charged rent. Now they live with my sister and I. We DO NOT charge them rent.
Kids should quit playing video games & run around at bars, etc. Get a job, save & let them learn by the tough love method. All 7 kids in our family figured it out & have successful lives now. Kids don’t appreciate money unless they earn it. My 3 kids worked & figured it out too. Not difficult if you use common sense!😅
You either didn't hear or didn't comprehend. If they move out, they will actually be paying rent, utilities, car note, insurance, groceries, miscellaneous items, etc. She specifically said, give it back, for a down payment. The whole reason, for charging the rent, is to get them in the mode of paying bills.
Greek family....we stay at our home until we got married without paying anything,and they pay the wedding,or they help you to buy a house or to make your own business,and babysitting our children,thats the real family...and when they get old our parents live with us,thats my family did and that's what I will do to my kids.. and to my parents❤❤❤❤
My parents raised me and my 2 siblings. I want them to enjoy themselves. My decision to have a wedding and a family and a house I will be responsible for those decisions while having my parents enjoy their grandchildren - not raise them through to old age. And they are still going to live with me when they are elderly.
That's how it should be done 💯instead of making your severely physically disabled kid feel like trash for not being able to move out as soon as adulthood hits even though they weren't told to save their money as a child and then having that kid say fuckit I won't take care of y'all when y'all are old then when the shoes on the other foot 🤷🏽♀️
That’s so sweet I wish I had that type of family love and support. I told my children that when they are older they are welcome to stay at home and save money for a house car and go to trade school or college. Real family send their adult children out into the world prepared to survive and thrive.
As an Indian it always baffled me how western people can throw their kids out at 18. When they dont have any resources to support them and basically no real understanding of the world.
Most of them don’t, it’s typically only the wealthy and the abusive/neglectful parents that do this unless they’re moving for college. My sister stayed home until she was 25 because she attended a community college still stayed after she dropped out and I moved out after high school because I was going to a college three hours away and when I graduated I moved back for six months before getting a job in my field of study and moving again 4 hours away.
They don't. My oldest is 17 and will stay home til he is 25+. I moved out at 18, but my parents didn't make me and I moved back home at 24 after university.
Because our whole culture revolves around the notion that we need to force kids to be more self sufficient so parents don’t have to deal with them. This begins as a baby when they’re forced to cry out their issues and in turn learn to disassociate themselves from their parents because of that detachment they are forced to endure which goes completely against their ingrained instincts to survive. Then they shuffle them off to school at an early age as soon as they can wipe their own butts and force them to be segregated all day long and away from their families and are taught to be seen and not heard in everything they do. Their needs are ignored and forced to be stifled because it’s inconvenient for anyone and everyone that’s not the child otherwise. They are brought up in an adult only environment where anything that disrupts that system, is seen as being annoying and unnecessarily disruptive to their way of being. Children in this culture are treated with disrespect and not to be trusted because they don’t know what’s good for them, yet when they become of age to leave home, are treated like they should be better off than they are just because they are deemed that arbitrary age to do so. It’s no wonder why so many return home because they didn’t make it the first time they left the nest. Parents in our culture are raised themselves to see being done with their kids as soon as they can be to have their own time to themselves because they are taught to disassociate from their children their whole childhood. It’s easier for them to treat their kids like this and it’s no wonder why their kids ditch them in a nursing home when their own time comes so their kids can go off and live their own lives without them just as they were taught to do with them as children. It’s just the mainstream way of doing things here and honestly, I find it sad! Children are not raised with compassion or empathy and that’s why we lack it in our culture today. Parents are not raised that way themselves and they cycle just goes on and on because it’s what we’ve always done. I’m not in any rush to kick my kids out. I actually missed out on half of half of my kids’ childhood for circumstances beyond my control and sadly for those children that I missed out on, I’m just waiting for their ‘other parent’ to get sick of them at that arbitrary age and kick them out so I can actually be able to spend time with them to make up for all of those opportunities taken for me. For my other kids, they won’t be kicked out just because they turn 18, but they will be prepared to be in their own by then if they choose to leave by then. I know I was out of the house before that age and couldn’t get away from my parents to get freedom but that was also because I never was made to feel like I mattered even being home anyways.
I did this with my younger brother I practically raised. I charged $150 and I gave him the money and the interest it had earned at his engagement party when he was 27. It was darn near 20k so I rounded it up. It took forever to convince him to accept it and that it was his rent money saved up. I do recommend giving it to them not when they turn a certain age but at a changing point in their lives: buying a house, marriage, first apartment after college graduation. Something that has them thinking about the future and their lives and they will be much less inclined to spend it on stupid things.
@@saffron1996 as Asians, each of our rooms are with our own designations. The living room is left us for joint decision but grandparents leave it to us. Our parents have most inputs and we have innovative ones. And the comfort, happiness and content feeling that joint family gives is more than our want to design own home 💙💙. What's a huge pretty house without family?
In my eu country you don’t get kicked out you need to do something really mess up to get kicked out and a lot don’t even pay any rent get a free first cheap car and help with college, because of financials age of leaving home is ~33 years old
These Asians in the comments actually believing Western parents "kick" their kids out has to be the funniest shit ever loL whatever these Western parents do seems to be working better than all of these Asian countries combined. Ive been to Asians countries and The Western countries and damn Westerners are way happier, more successful, morally and ethically superior than the rest of the World. And I'm not Westerner lmao.
It’s so messed up that kids In america move out when they are 18, literally most other places in the world you stay with your family till you are married, no wonder there is such loneliness, pressure, lack of community, empathy and depression in the country
@@zelena.pupavka I know, having a family at home gives you a support network, I’m not saying live as a child, when I say stay at home I don’t mean let your parents do everything, you still do the washing and cleaning and you cook for your family, you look after your parents and they make sure you have a home, that way when you finish university you aren’t as crippled by debt.
I am from Germany and also lived in the USA for 4 month. Here in Germany it is similar to the USA. The majority moves out with 18-21 I would guess. It just feels wrong to stay at home with your parents, after growing up in such a culture, because the peers and siblings do the same thing. It feels like you miss an important step in development. Maybe it would have been different if I grew up in a different culture. But for me it just felt right to move out and it felt wrong to stay at home.
Im not in America, Im in NZ but I moved out at 15. Old methods of parenting have not caught up with modern teens. Moving out early for my own independance was the best thing I ever did.
My grandparents actually did this for my uncle. He was in the army in desert storm and for years he was sending them money, but they saved all the money he gave them and then gave it back to them. I thought wow that’s amazing and a real beautiful blessing ❤️🙏
Did they invest the money in bonds that paid guaranteed interest to beat inflation? If not, then the money was worth less when your uncle returned. I love your grandparents for being so selfless and caring to your uncle.
I’m Hispanic, 39 years old, and still live with my parents. My mother is on disability and my father close to retirement. I help them out financially and we enjoy each other’s company. Don’t plan on leaving ever! I’m in good hands here and vice versa.
My Nigerian parents NEVER charged us to live at home after 25. We went to a local college, made us get a job at 18, and taught us how to drive at the same age.😂
I was just about to say that. Although I guess it depends on where you live. I’m in California so I could maybe use that as a down payment on a shed. 😂
I did an FHA loan and got a 3 bed 1 1/2 bath with yard garage and shed and my closing costs in total that I had to cover was around a thousand and maybe about 300-400 $ in materials to fix the house before I moved in to qualify for the loan
YES. The idea that at 18 Everybody has lifeskills is NOT the " normal" thing to do in many cultures. Stronger family bonds & values are forged because of this.
My parents charged so much rent when i was young that i only had a few dollars a week to survive on. I made 80 a week and my rent was $250 a month. Meanwhile they claimed poverty but they could afford to go out for fancy dinners and booze. Taught me what i would not do to my kids
I am 33 and still with my mom. Dad and bro were already in the heaven. I am giving my mom 25% of my salary and I cook my own food. Whenever there is something in the house that needs repair or replacement, I am in charge. We dine out and I pay the bills. Different people, different culture
Dad never charged me rent. Instead he taught me how to work, save money, pay bills and build my credit score. At 23 years old, I move into my own place Sunday. Thank you dad. ❤
I like your dad's approach better, compared to the video on saving up the money for the kid to hand over when they reach 25yrs old. Though they don't state in the video, they may have taught similar values to your dad, hopefully before handing that money over to them. Once you hand them the money, they can change their mind and do whatever they want with said cash. I think what your dad taught you was far more important than handing straight up cash (not literally). 😅 He's a fisher of men. A fisherman. He gave you the tools to teach you how to fish without handing you the fish first. Wise dad. 🩷✨️👍
My mom and step-dad told me I had to get a job when I was 15 years old because "I needed to pull my weight and help out with the finances" I was homeschool through the county I lived in and therefore was expected to clean the house aswell throughout the day because I was already home. I swear looking back I was so stressed out all the time because my parents never let up about how finances were tight and were so upset at me when they found out I was falling behind in school because of the responsibilities, mind you I was 15! They didnt even try to help me find a job becaise what did I know about that at that age, even my teacher at the time would ask if my home life was ok occasionally but at the time I thought it was normal. Dont get me wrong I love my parents but some put their responsibilities on their children and make them carry the burden of their decisions which I know now is wrong.
My mom did something similar. I didn’t stay until I was 25, but she gave me back all of the rent she “charged” me and helped me set up my first place. I was shocked and happy!
Its a great idea, I just dont like the title you use. Why would I kick them at 18? So they can put you on a nursing home at 70? You get what you give. Im hispanic we show them to save. You know family oriented.
@@margaretfalde that's nice. I can't buy groceries cuz I have no stable job and I have to buy my medicines regularly so I just help by paying the month end bills.
As an Indian we live with our parents more than that. For a guy,they stay with their parents forever.This is very common except they don’t charge us money to live.
Cool. Now understand that not all parents want to live with their kids and our living situations is different than yours. Even indian immigrants in the US are moving out of their parents house.
not everyone tho. i turned 18 a week ago and I'll be leaving home in 6 months. my brother's 15 rn and he will leave too once he turns of age. while majority of families follow what u mentioned, its not true for a lot of them.
I had nine siblings. Was told to pay $25 week rent in 1981. Mom said she'd save it for my wedding someday. I asked her for it when i got married. She said " Are you kidding? We needed that money for food and bills!" 😂
@KendraVeverka it's OK. I got married at 32. Already had my own home for years. I didn't need the money, just wanted to hear her reaction to me asking. I liked messing with her. 🤪🤪
My Egyptian parents never charged me for anything. They only stopped giving me an allowance when I started working. Later on my mom noticed my bad spending habits and that's when she started taking money from me, can't remember under what pretense. A few years later she took me to the bank and made me open another account and placed a huge sum of money in it. The money she was saving up for me ❤God rest her soul❤
I heard a story of a youngman whose "parents" dumped him in Colorado from California as soon as he turned 18. Kids turn into adults! Some people treat their own offspring like pets.
And I bet he didn't tell you the inside addition to himself 😮 most people dont😮 if you raise your children and they do not respect your rules and your ways.. considering the rules and ways are coming from protection and not controlling.. then they need to know that at 18 that will be there last yr in the nest. You have x amount of days or mths to leave. That is the real world..
@@HeseesyouYou're assuming the parents are well adjusted people. People with children can have personality disorders and be terrible human beings, etc.... just like any other person can be. Having a child doesn't change that, it can actually make some worse and we all know people like this exist. People need to stop automatically assuming the 'parent' is right and the child is just disobedient, unprepared or ungrateful, that's not reality. My mother, for example, did exactly what the original commentor suggested...to all 6 of her children... and is now addicted to drugs and will be all alone in her old age due to her poor choices in life. As one raised to be the scapegoat I can tell you I was obedient, loving, a good student, it did not matter. I was ditched the day before my bday when the child support checks stopped coming. Sooo, hope this broadens your perspective a bit and you stop making baseless assumptions and victim blaming.✌️
@yoface9079 sounds like you haven't forgiven your care takers? I see your still a sinner and continuing to deflect and escape your up bringing. You do know Jesus came to set the captives free and died an awful death so you and I can live for him.. you haven't given me a different perspective, you just given me another example of excuses.. which are well planned lies.. and who is the author of lies? Satan.. your father. You need to repent and forsake your sin.. not your moms sin but your sin..
@@HeseesyouThat is the real world in North American, very cold family culture. I cant imagine kicking my kids out at any age or charging them for their room, but it is totally a cultural thing. We latino families love and take care of each other forever.
My cousin is 30 and lives with his parents. He helped out and respect them. He work hard to save his money all he can to get his own place. We love him very much ❤️
Don't stop them from trying,on their own, everyone has to live their life you can't stop life happening to them.I saw this with my neice and my sister it ended badly.She wanted to be the ground my neice walked on.NPD. behavior. Really bad.
I agree 👍 i mean, i can't leave my cat alone in my room for 30 minutes. How will i be able to leave my flesh and blood outside without a home or a meen of survival
Yes … having a plan is key. What many people don’t understand is sometimes children are crippled when they are never challenged. Some parents say “you can stay with me forever”. So now you have 40 and 50 year olds still at home. Not because they can’t leave but because they never chose to do the work to take care of themselves.
People who kick their OWN KIDS out of the house at 18, barely after high-school and not college graduated yet , do not love their kids . They use the law as an excuse to abandon them
I completely agree with this. I idea of your children becoming not your child anymore when they turn 18 is wild. The difference between the day when they were a minor and the day when they became an adult doesn’t change who they are. In the eyes of the law they are adults, but to a parent nothing should change. Your child should be your responsibility no matter what their age is. If it’s 5,18,35, it shouldn’t matter cause they will always be the person that your raised and love.
I paid $200 in rent a month when I made $20k/yr and never saw any of it ever again from my Mom. My brother paid $400 a month when he made $60k/yr. She no longer charges him rent, he still lives with her and has never moved out and he’s mid-60’s.He was allowed to hoard things in every room where I had to live in only one room. He physically hit and hurt me and she would tell us she’ll kick both of us out when I didn’t do anything wrong. I left home almost 8 years ago. Best decision ever. Both are Narcissists.Narcissism is a Helluva drug.
my parents split up a week after I turned 18, I had just finished school a month prior, so I didn't have a job yet. they split and said "good luck" and sent me off into the wild with nothing. im so jealous of the people who got to spend a few more years with their parents, so they had time to prepare for real adulthood.
Don't be jealous/ envy them g.... we all have our experiences. My folks divorced wen I was 3 and I moved out at 17 etc etc long ass story But I say that 2 say u got this, and yes it's fucked what happened 2ya but u can only move forward and build from there
The world is upside down my darling, I wish my children never move, but they did... I also divorce my my children stay with me, my daughter move at 20 with her boyfriend...
@aldastroud9671 both of my parents have passed away before I even turned 35. I spent 10 years of that resenting my mom and not speaking to her. we reconciled in 2020 and I only had a few good years with her (she survived breast cancer in 2020 and failed to survive liver cancer in 2022) I implore others to reach out to their parents and reconcile, if possible. I'll regret not doing it earlier for the rest of my life.
I may be an odd case, but at 29, I still live with my parents, but only because they’ve been financially dependent on us kids since I was 18. They will never move out and it’s draining my bank account and ruing my credit. I’d say, it’s probably great to have a few more years with your parents as long as they’re supporting you and you’re not supporting them. Although, I think I’d still rather support them together than have them divorced.
@@pimzae I also lost mine 😢 my mum was only 45 when she died and my dad, well just like I told him a few days before he passed " I whish we never lost so many years with rubbish" he agreed and that was the last time we ever spoke... Is all very sad. Is nothing more beautiful than a family that stay together and support each other doesn't have to be perfect, just family or what I understand of the word family, that seems doesn't mean the same for all ☹️
Forget saving money, İ helped my parents paying bills and was not able to save money. İt's very privileged to have parents in such a situation. When I'm thinking back buying food for the family of 6, studying at one of the best colleges and having several jobs on side. İt was taff bit I survived and learned a lot 😊
It was cheaper for me to be out on my own than work so danged hard just to give almost all my money, for food etc, to my parents to feed my adult siblings who didn't even live there. I was just a kid still. Adult financial responsiblities since I was babysitting at 10 was horrendous! 😔
My dad was attached to our (my siblings and i) savings account and in order to live at his house past 18 we had to show we were Saving a certain percentage of what we were making at our jobs. He still paid all the bills and fed us, he just taught us to be dilligent savers. It's helped me immensely. Left his house with enough money to buy 6 acres in the mountains.
Speak for yourself! My Mexican alcoholic dad was very much with the idea an adult is 18! And you pay your own bills. He couldn’t wait to get rid of us! We go no contact now
My 15 year old works has a car, that she maintains, pay her bills and still can pay $250 if I asked her too (but don’t) and she stills save….sounds like you have a lot of excuses..
@@sahw8811 sounds like you’re looking for a reason to pick on someone just trying to share my situation with others that don’t make enough to save after paying bills as well . But go off 👍🏽
@shaolinqueen3684 But if you're living there, you're making the bills go up. You're eating the food, using the water and electric. Where do you know of that you can get your own room in an apartment or house for 400 dollars other than your parents house.
Our car broke down and even with my husband and I working full time we could not afford the down payment or car payment for a new car. My son started working a few months ago when he turned 16 and he makes pretty good money working part time. He saved up a large amount very quickly and we put our money together for a down payment and he had the choice to either pay the light/phone/internet bill each month or the car payment each month. I also gave him the option that if he pays the car each month it will be his by the time he graduates and paid off so he can have a vehicle for college. He chose option 2 and he also saves whatever is left of his check in his savings account. I’m am beyond proud of him 😊
Lol as someone who grew up in the “can’t afford this option”- where should the parents pull that money from? Should we pretend that kids will just not be impacted by their parents’ finances? To be clear- I agree with this option but let’s be real. Not everyone has it like that.
@@12rapdlFrankly having a less than market value rent is a gift from a parent even if they don’t get the money back. If mom and dad need to use that money to not make the budget as tight for the house…then a relatively modest rent is a gift in itself.
@@clakams Nope. Parents are not and never were wealthy. They simply collected "rent" from me as a young working adult, then returned the money I'd given them when it was time for me to put a down payment on a home of my own. I am not wealthy, but managed to pay of my mortgage less than 20 years later. I'm not wealthy, but smart planning allowed me to pay my house off.
I come from a family of eight children … our parent charge us a little rent once we started working … to help out and be responsible.. we all feel it made us who we are today … ♥️ Thank you mom & dad for how you raised us and to be responsible… RIP mom & dad ♥️🫶🏼🙏🏽
Where I live, families just kinda stay together in the same house. It's a given. No one bats an eye if you're 30 living with your parents lol. The kids generally don't move out at 18, they stay until they've finished University, gotten a job and most of the time, gotten married. You basically don't leave until you're ready to leave 😂 Sometimes even if you're married, you live there until you can afford your own house, or it just becomes and multi-generational family home. Ofc not all houses are like this but yeah
This is how it is in slovakia, the avrage move out age is about 30. My aunt moved out when she was like 33 with her fiance, and now theyve been living out on a small farm ( but on a giant propaty) for like 6 years now…
Yeah I don't really get why adult children living at home has a negative connotation where I live. Especially when the cost of living (esp rent and homes) is so expensive!
alot of people are doing just that since so many jobs are remote or work of traveling, there are people who live in their vans because their business requires them going to the clients where ever they are.
You’d be surprised, that’s pretty standard for houses ranging from the 500-600,000$. That’s about what the down payment would be, five grand per month. If you want to do it the right way, though, you gotta be making at least 250K a year to pay that comfortably. That’s where I say you gotta be fucking kidding me.
Ehh actually depends on the area you live in and what type of loan you have. I had first time homebuyer and only put $11,000 down and pay less for my mortgage than I would renting an apartment in my area.
If you use a USDA or FHA loan your down payment will be much lower. I'm about to close on my first home with less than $100 down because I'm using USDA. And that's nationwide because it's federal
I have struggled so much with poverty as someone who HAD TO move out at 18, i am now 40. I wish people stopped having kids they cannot afford. I always admire people who were raised by stable parents, things just seem to come quicker to them in life. I have chosen never to have children i cannot clothe and feed comfortably. Tough love is bullshit.
True... actually its not even tough love..its dumb concepts and law..where we r treated as animals.. family has purpose..if family act like business..then they aren't worthy..
My mom charged me $200 a month rent since I was 17. I moved out when I turned 18 and was renting a duplex with a friend. My share of the rent was $140 a month. This was back in the late 70s. I found out later that my mom's house payment was $275. She had me open a savings account when I was about 10 years old and put every penny I earned doing chores into said savings account. In my teens I started doing odd jobs. I put that money into my savings account as well. Because I was under age my mother was the trustee on my account. She stole all of my money and closed my account before I turned 18. And no she wasn't low income or needed it she was just greedy and doesn't care about anyone but herself. She did the same thing to my father when he developed cancer. Stole every penny from his personal savings account and then closed it. He was very upset. He died the following year. 😢 I don't have much to say to her.
Some people are dispicable... sorry you went through that, & your dad, people like that at the end will see when no ones at their side hope you got your life together away from her...
Don't honey! She is not worth your words and feelings. She chose her actions so she should bear the consequences. Let her spend Christmas and Halloween with that money. She can eat Thanksgiving dinner on her dining table with that money. Let the money grow up and when that money has children/her grandkids, then she can attend their recital. Stay out and stay away from negative energy. And remember to never repeat her mistakes! Stay blessed!
My mom did this with my grandma. She lived with her till 37 when she met my dad. She helped with the mortgage but by grandma kept all the money and when my mom got married she gave it to her as a wedding present. ❤
And what if child can't pay rent? That means kicking them out after 18. That's so stupid. In our country, children can stay with their parents as long as they want
Charge them $250 per month for rent while in college ? Instead help your kids get through college. They'll be educated and be able to afford a home, travel and have a family. Believe me, they'll thank you.
All kids wanted to leave home when they left school at 18, where I’m from. It was just the normal accepted thing to do. No kid wanted to be stuck at home with their folks once they went to uni or got their first job!!
@@mandyellis876sad you kids saw your parents as a burden and ‘non freedom’. That’s taught behavior. Not an aspect of culture to be proud of. There is no love between parent and child? Because the child wants to get out of the parents ASAP it seems. But when the child is in need, it will go back to the parents to USE them. Sad all around.
@@truehappiness4Unonsense. It is natural that the children grow up and want to get out in the world. Would the parents still want to live with their parents? It's not using parents if they need to come back. It's just getting help from family
@@Deejaay83urj38 again, that’s your culture and it’s nothing to be proud unless the teens want to go out themselves. But many in Europe have that culture as well, but the children really never get prepared to leave house at 18. Why? They have conducted research: the prefrontal cortex isn’t fully developed until age 25, meaning it is hard for them to make good decisions. Them moving out means: suddenly no one to cook for them, to clean after them etc. Many boys and girls cannot cool for themselves at age 18, they don’t even have money to rent or buy a house! You must be American. Even the Europeans are realizing that culture aspect is not okay, and many want to stay at home until age 26 (approx.) so they can save money up for a decent house and they can learn to cook and clean up and have responsibilities step by step.
@dawnjohnson3263 in many cultures especially Asian culture, parents, children and their grandparents all live together, it's a multi generational home, not coz they can't afford it, it's mostly coz nobody likes to move out. It's called a close kit family where everyone supports each other in their own way. Children grow up best with grandparents while parents can go on make money worry free and in return they take care of their parents heath. It's a chain of support system that unfortunately the western world lacks and boasts about freedom at 18😅 which is complete bullshit
In India, sons live their parents to serve them in their old age. Now a days situation is changing. But staying with parents and looking after them is looked upon as great service to family.
Problem is sons dont serve their parents they expect their wives to serve them. Thats the issue ,otherwise living together and taking care of old parents would not be a issue.
@@expertgamingOur parents dont throw us out at 18. They pay for our education . They love us ,discipline us. Its extremely selfish to not repay their care in their old age. Thats why your west is broken down societaly. Grandparents also teach small kids lots of Sanskar. They should help in raising kids.
@@bapparawal2457Did they say they were from the west? Also, most Indian parents are emotionally manipulative and their discipline is too harsh at times. They raised us because they brought it into this world by THEIR choice. Most parents everywhere have to do that. That doesn't mean it's a child's obligation to take care of their parents at old age. It should be a choice. Sometimes children are not financially stable to take care pf themselves as well. Moreover, our Indian society glorifies the concept of families a bit too much. They don't show how draining it is to live in the family (How many families are actually happy together?) . 'Sanskar' concepts are outdated now. It's no use upholding them unnecessarily. Stop following older people's ideaologies blindly. Regarding this short, I think 18 is a bit too young to leave home, maybe 24-25 is a good age to leave.
Or try teaching them about finance at 5. They are not stupid, most of us started banking through school, but parents/carers can also teach kids the value of money. They will thank you more, when they're capable by the time they're 18. Keep them home until whenever, but teach them how to manage money as soon as possible. Savings will still happen. 13 years of saving, is better than 7, js.
Our sons and daughters live with us till they get married, when we retire they provide us. We never kick our family and they never leave us at old age. Every Arab. 😊
It's your responsibility to take care of them because you brought them into this world - they didn't ask to be here, you forced them into the world. It's not their responsibility to take care of you in your old age. If they do, then they're doing you a favor.
Yeah, but you force them into careers and lives they don't want. Our kids can choose their paths, and I don't want them caring for me, I want them building their lives.
I told my daughter as long as she makes something of herself and is a responsible, thriving adult, she can live with me as long as she needs to. Plus, we’re Latina, it’s not uncommon for families to live together. 😊❤
That's what my family is doing right now, but I need my independence. My parents treat me like a child when it's convenient and an adult when it's convenient. It's very exhausting.
@@rubyciounderstand you 100%. Thats why i ultimately decided it was best for me to live on my own. No amount of "money saved" could compete with my autonomy and peace of mind. But with oarents that arent difficult, I could imagine it would be a wonderful set up.
My parents are helping me out, too. They know I’m working to make a life for myself and to be honest rent is incredibly expensive for a single person to pay. And thankfully they understand that and don’t make me feel bad for having to live with them longer than some adults live with their parents. We help each other and work together to keep the house running. For us this is completely normal and not a big deal for us at all. Lol. I love them and am so grateful for them❤
@@kimgilson7903 legal and cultural, obligations or wildly different things. My parents don’t give a shit if I get married or not so that has nothing to do with whether or not or financially provide for me. In fact, they taught me that as an adult no one but myself should be responsible for financially providing for me.
Whenever I was 16 my father started asking me "So what are you going to move out" whenever I turned 18 they didn't kick me out.... Then I moved out whenever I was around 23, then I moved back in a few months later, then I moved out when I was like 25 or 26. My sister's almost 30 and she still lives with my parents.
My parents tried to charge me “market rate” to rent my childhood bedroom from them while I lived with them when I was over 18 and working. This was in addition to all of the chores I did around the house and all of the rides I gave to everyone in the family. So I said OK if I’m paying market rate rent anyway then I’m going to rent a room somewhere else for the same price where I don’t have to also do all this additional work around the house. They backtracked real quick and never asked me to pay them rent again. Not too long after I was able to afford my own studio apartment and permanently moved out which they were upset about.
@henryk8744 I think kids should help with bills to help relieve financial strain... but market rent to live at home and get used? Hell no, lol. As claric said, they showed their true colors early on. They could have enjoyed more time with their child, but now they may have fractured that relationship?
@@inwiththenew414 I disagree. I think parents should make adjustments to their own expenses to relieve financial strain. Our bills and debt should not be the burdens of our children. They will have their own bills and debts one day.
@katriecedavis898 well, sorry to say it, but you made the choice to procreate, no one is forcing people to have kids they can't afford. That responsibility rests with parents since theywanted to produce offspring. It is the parents responsibility to provide a solid foundation for kids to start off from and then ensure their kids go on to be successful, respectful, well-rounded human beings. People should not have kids if they can't afford the responsibilities that go along with it.
Where I am coming from, we are still relatives after this age, so we don't go that route. We would never ever be so greedy as parents to charge own kids. Then you wonder why they are not visiting later.
The parents give the money back. That was the whole point of the video and you completely missed it. The video is only two minutes long. How much time do you spend watching UA-cam shorts?
That makes sense if you own your home outright but many parents will struggle to pay utility bills, pension contributions and rent or mortgage payments. Their adult children shouldn’t exploit them by living at home and contributing nothing.
@@Vitobandito434 the fact that I stated my opinion clearly has nothing to do with giving the money back. Why taking the money in the first place? It's ridiculous. It's my job as parent to take care of my child, even after 18. I will help in any way, whilst guiding to save or look for a place once he/she got a job. My parents, paid my living costs when I studied at Uni. I will do the same for my kid.
@@gaviota-sibila1093who says they don't contribute? It is exchange/family life. But setting a pricetag and executing it every month makes this relationship extremely transactional....just for them to give it back anyway? Best if kids make decision where to live and for how much or how to save. What is parents will need to move in with children at old age? Kids charge them back? 😊
You do understand that you’re doing your kids a complete disservice by not charging rent? This is where entitlement stems from. You leave school and start work, of course you’re going to be expected to contribute to the household!! You don’t get a free ride for life, that’s not how the real world operates!!
@@zelena.pupavkaokay but understand that we all have different living conditions. Especially 1st world vs 3rd world countries. Its happening to Japan, south korea, us and parts of Europe. Even china would kick their kids out for marriage. If your country wants to be a first world, be prepared for mental conditions and working yourself to the core for money.
@@ButtsceatcgeeThat’s bullshit. It’s a matter of culture, not level of development. In many countries in Europe it’s actually regulated by law that parents must sustain their kids until they finish their higher education (up to the age of 26).
This advice works great for families that are not in the poverty level, that minimum is going towards electric and the internet service that everyone uses while parents pay the rent/mortgage/other utilities. If there are 2 parents and 2 children then every other week the grown kids can buy the groceries.
No. This actually encourages the kids to move forward and work hard to learn to earn money and later, they may even be able to support the parents. This is EXCELLENT advice. Don’t keep the poverty train going strong. Stop the madness and the victim mentality. (Said the woman who grew up very poor, got out at 18 and made her own way)
And then the cycle of poverty can continue.. I refuse to charge my child rent, it's my responsibility to provide for my children not the other way around.
Works even better if you are in the poverty level. Because if you are too broke to live alone, you can pool resources and at least access a warm room and a hot shower. If you are struggling, even an air mat on the floor of a hallway can help you stay clean, rested, and employable. Even if you don't get a stack of cash when you move out, you still save money by not struggling to spread dollars even more thin because you are going it alone.
Reading the comments, and I feel 😢. Despite that the situation in my country is so bad, but I feel privileged to have Arabic parents where I still live with them at the age of 29 as well as my siblings (33 and 25 years old) without paying anything, not for rent, food or even clothing. They also still give me money even though I am working. They also paid for my uni and will pay all the money needed for my marriage. May Allah pless them and make me do the same for my kids 🙏🏻
Everybody has different preferences. I am 29 too and couldn’t wait to move out at 18. I loved living with people my own age during university and being free to do whatever I felt like.
You can teach them how to save while also saving that $250 per month for rent they pay. It doenst have to be one or the other. The parent is already teaching then to pay bills by charging $250 per month for rent. And many parents who do this don't even tell their kid they are giving all the " rent" back to them when they turn 25. They wait until it's time and surprise them with it when it's time after the kid have proved themselves to be responsible with it by paying the $250 per month rent and probably saving too.
Not just save, but invest. If you just let the money sit, then it is being eaten away by inflation. A high yield CD or high yield savings account should be the minimum act of having the money work for you.
I lived with my mom until I was 23, I am 30 and now my mom lives with me 😊 I am proud to provide because I was provided for til I could stand on my own
Lots resonates... And I LOVE that time-shifting Divine gifting... I have experienced it here and there in life, but in the last few weeks, it has been happening a LOT... I have been very ill and exhausted, with so much to do, and I keep needing extra breaks... and somehow I keep getting to step outside of time... and I give gratitide for it! I track all my day's tasks etc. including medical breaks... Lately, there's been many times where I've done 2-4 hours of tasks, calls, paperwork, e-mailing, plus breaks, then go to track it and chk what's next on my schedule, and only half or less of that time is showing as having passed, and I have to squeeze it all in my digital agenda! Blew my dr & therapist away when I showed them! 😂 🙏🎉🌟🌌
Our culture doesn't kicked kids after university graduation. Family is important and grow in their professions with parents, so when parents grow old, we take care and love rhem too.
Okay but understand the mental conditions. And no a lot of parents don’t get “kicked out. I dont know WHY you guys keep using that word just by watching videos about it on youtube. But no, children don’t kicked out. If anything the kids want to move out. And try to understand that not ALL families are kind and caring, and can cause mental exhaustion.
My mom asked $200, but also had a savings account since we were born and had us on a joint credit card so we came out into the world with perfect credit 😊
I lived on my own since I was 14. I’m 41 now I can promise you this would have been literally life-changing parents. Please do that for your children. If I was to change anything on death, it would be to put the money into a ETF every month because realistically, at that point it would double every seven years so it would give a larger down payment for a house
@@akabga it’s basically a pool of different stocks most 401k etc will use vanguard ( voo ) ticker symbol because it will be a pool of the top 500 stocks like apple tesla etc Also look up the big 50 dividend paying stocks there are 50 companies that has paid out high dividends year after year for 50 plus years
@@akabga”ETFs or "exchange-traded funds" are exactly as the name implies: funds that trade on exchanges, generally tracking a specific index. When you invest in an ETF, you get a bundle of assets you can buy and sell during market hours-potentially lowering your risk and exposure, while helping to diversify your portfolio.” TL;DR: Many investors like ETFs and index funds because they’re generally low-risk, low-cost, and a “boring” way to invest in the stock market to reap the benefits of historically good returns.
Maybe an index fund... or at least a high-yield CD or high yield savings account if you want to protect the principal with guaranteed returns. Today, you can find CDs paying over 5% and savings over 4%.
What a disgrace to CHARGE your own child to live in your/their house, yes, because it's their house too. They are not your tenants or an investment, they are your children. Can you imagine when you become elderly and move into your child's home and they CHARGE you rent? Yeah, your child charges their elderly parent RENT to live in their house. Stop that nonsense. Teach your children how to be decent and responsible adults instead.
Exactly...or kids charge parents for taking care of them. We talk about the lack of community and a "village" people used to have...this is exactly this type of thinking that contributes to division in generations.
I mean, it’s just different cultures. Different cultures, different values. What’s considered bizarre in one place seems totally normal elsewhere. My parents would laugh in my face if I provided rent money, so I get it. But it seems like people of this type of culture are fine with it, so as long as it doesn’t harm anyone, I’m okay with it.
Its a proven way to teach a young adult to be committed to a bill..when they move out it becomes normal for that person to pay rent/mortgage and to priorities spending.
Well it does cost the child to take care of their elderly parents. You don't realise that when they reach those ages, the adult child would usually be the one in charge of the money and whatever pension comes in. It all works out similarly to charging your adult child rent in the end. What goes around, comes around and there's nothing wrong with it.
You do realize every body in that house is an expense? Energy, water, garbage, internet, etc., but also wear and tear of the property itself. Yet, this person wasn’t even actually charging their kid rent. Just saving it up for them so that they 1) get used to paying a sum each month, and 2) have a nice lump sum when they move out. Idk where your outrage/offense is coming from, but it definitely seems misplaced here.
A lot of Caribbean parents are like this- we don’t expect our kids to leave home at 18 years old! It’s like, at 11:59 your are a kid and then 1 minute later at 12:00 midnight, you grown. Kids stay at home, save, go to school - most parents done even want their kids to leave home. It was strange to me when I heard about this “18 years old, now get out”
True lol my mom says i can stay with her till 26 but by then im exepcted to jave moved to study, may i ask what caribbean island your from? Im dominican🇩🇲 You give jamaican, trinidadian or st lucian vibes though😂
It's mind blowing to me reading comments about people actually having both parents in the home; being actually wanted instead of wanted because u prove useful... I moved out alone at 17 to a whole different state. 26 now have learned a lot n been thru wayy too gahhhdamnnn much but ayye I'm still alive and I can't say the same about too many people in my life 🙏🏾
Carribean american person here and yep, this is so true. I once told my mom I thought of leaving at 18 because everyone else was and I got an earful about how I wasn't an adult just because the time changed and that just because everyone else is leaving doesn't mean I should and that I should focus on college. Education has always been her #1 priority and she said she'd never kick me out. I don't understand kicking kids out at 18.
My wife and I considered it that our kids are our responsibility. Therefore we never told them that they have to leave. We had 3 girls, so I told them up front that we would not pay for any weddings, that was their responsibility. However, we paid for their education. One went to a state university, one went to a beauty school and the last went to one university and then to the Art institute in Chicago, attaining a PHD in Education. We gave them all a down payment on a home, before they got married.
@@BedmomentsI was kind of wondering, most comments seem to be making a lot of assumptions. Many parents are on a fixed income, or have just assisted in paying for the kid's college-- and have multiple kids! If a parent needs a kid to kick in $250 to help pay the rent or help pay for groceries, yeah it'd be nice to sit at a side so you can give them back $21,000 or something later... But it's also nice to buy the groceries, So you all can eat.
@@clarem8784 it’s pretty unrealistic for the vast majority of families to not need some form of participation when it comes to household expenses. Especially when considering the offspring become adult enough to be employed. I think there is a large element of using this arrangement as a status symbol type thing, a bit like a poor man’s trust fund. A way for the lower middle classes to show off by making out they themselves don’t need financial assistance blah blah. It’s all rather silly really and is very much gladly received and expected by many a spoilt child. After all who would be able to refuse this arrangement, giving up basically nothing as you will receive it all back whilst living Scott free.
@@monsoonrain2436 this has a lot to do with the fact that in other countries the welfare system has not covered the care of the elderly or destitute like it has in the west. The children have not had to give anything in return to their parents, in fact many are squeezing the last dime out of them and sitting back waiting for them to die so they can gobble up their inheritance. Some of the disgusting entitlement that many of the commenters on this thread have shown is utterly staggering. Not only would they be completely unwilling to assist their parents in their elderly years but the idea of making a small cash contribution to their family home is abhorrent to them, pure selfish grifters. Some of these disgusting entitled, lazy self centred dullards are going to be in for a shock in the future anyway, many of the parents will not be in the same financial situation as they maybe now and some will lose everything and the state may not cover any of their costs. Things are rapidly changing in the west particularly due to mass immigration that will see to it that what ‘free’ care we had enjoyed in the past will be financially harvested from relatives. In your culture this idea that the family club together and support themselves is in fact a survival mechanism that would see thousands of elderly people die on the streets otherwise. Not one of these greedy useless grifters would willingly give a home let alone care to their elderly relatives or extended family, but look what privileges they expect from their parents. Their grabbing hands want to live basically Scott free in their parents house for years whilst waiting for their big payout at the end, they won’t be grateful and they won’t extend the benefit, they will simply be waiting for them to die and leave them more money….. these days are coming to an end however, life is being changed significantly and not for the better.
If the parents want to give the rent money to help their kids out, let them. I don’t get why you guys keep seeing it as something negative. What if the parents want their kids to have a good life therefore they gave them money?
My MIL did this for my husband, she also got a credit card in his name & only paid utilities with extra money he would give her. So he has really good credit now too. Wish my parents would have done that for me lol.
@theDurgaLove How is her MIL living her sons life for him? She set her son up very well financially without putting much of her own money into it. Financially literacy is part of a parent's job to help their child out as an adult.
I was today years old when I learned something new 🤯….I will definitely be doing this with my kids when they get older….I want them to be smart and responsible. Thank you for this advice👏👍🤗❤
21k is a down payment in 1995, the average home price in the US is 430k, a 10% down payment is 43k and that still doesn’t get you past PMI insurance, they’ll need 86k for that.
Plus, why are you buying an average priced home? I'm buying my first house now, it's a nice 3 bedroom/1.5 bath brick house in a small town in Florida. Less than 220k and I'm paying less than $100 down because I'm using USDA
@@annewithane7876what part of Florida? Nothing specific for privacy, but like rural small town? Unfortunately, not all industries allow for that possibility, though, and require you to live closer to one of the bigger areas.
@@the_rachel_sam I get that. I am in a kinda small town south of Jax. USDA does have restrictions on where you can buy (can't be in the city), but I believe you can use an FHA loan to buy in a more urban area. Another thing we did to make buying a home more achievable was negotiating for the seller to pay closing costs. We used to live in the city and thought about buying there, but most of the affordable areas were not very safe. 😕 If we had needed to stay there for work reasons, we probably would have gotten a townhome because they're cheaper and some of them are gated communities which seem a little more secure.
That's great if you have one child. I have 4 boys, athletic boys that eat like a barbarian! Between the electric bill from staying up all night, running water, cooking gas, heat, etc. my monthly bill will be $3k easy, just to support them. It's best they get a place within their means or together and I teach them to save $250 a month until they're 25. Meanwhile, my sanity and bank account are both in tact... 🤦🏽♀️
They should definitely pay their way I agree. This idea of giving all their money back to ‘teach them to save’ is actually pathetic and will teach them nothing. All it is is a nice touch for wealthier families to give their kids the financial support without looking like their spoiling them, they are spoiling them however and making it difficult for ordinary families to extract the much needed cash out of their adult kids. My two boys pay their way and wouldn’t dream of having the money back they know it is necessary to keep the house running.
As soon as we got a job at 16, we paid$50 a week but we never got that money back, it showed us responsibilities, we moved out when ever we felt we wanted to and moved back in when we needed to
My mother in law let me live with her family for free and Im so grateful because i was able to get a car, pursue my education, and get my own place to live before 19 because of her. Shes honestly an angel and my husband definitely gets his big heart from her.
It payed off for both of them,,you in turn have turned out to be a good wife and DIL,,she took a chance on you.CONTINUE TO REMAIN THE SAME,,REMEMBER WHO WAS THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU NEEDED HELP.CONTINUED BLESSINGS TO YOU.
Asian here.
I tried moving out at 18 and they hit me with the “so you don’t love us anymore?”
Haahahhaha this is relatable
All of Asian Feel thisb😅
Off, the old Asian parent guilt bomb.
😂
This is all non white people. Africans and Latin Americans live with their parents for years even until marriage
My parents never charged me rent instead they teach me how to save, how to pay bills and how to work.
How do you think her kid is going to pay her the $250 a month she gave birth to that child if she wants to keep them home if they're willing to stay and work and go to school and save their money that is totally fair credit and finance that's how I learned because I was taught. She secretly saving the money it's no different than a college fund it's a homeowner's fund I think it's beautiful
Same, I was taught the value of money from a very early age without having to be charged rent. Now they live with my sister and I. We DO NOT charge them rent.
We do rent for our kids and it's very low. The purpose is to get them used to bills and having foresight and responsibility.
Kids should quit playing video games & run around at bars, etc. Get a job, save & let them learn by the tough love method. All 7 kids in our family figured it out & have successful lives now. Kids don’t appreciate money unless they earn it. My 3 kids worked & figured it out too. Not difficult if you use common sense!😅
You either didn't hear or didn't comprehend.
If they move out, they will actually be paying rent, utilities, car note, insurance, groceries, miscellaneous items, etc. She specifically said, give it back, for a down payment. The whole reason, for charging the rent, is to get them in the mode of paying bills.
Greek family....we stay at our home until we got married without paying anything,and they pay the wedding,or they help you to buy a house or to make your own business,and babysitting our children,thats the real family...and when they get old our parents live with us,thats my family did and that's what I will do to my kids.. and to my parents❤❤❤❤
a
Beautiful❤
My parents raised me and my 2 siblings. I want them to enjoy themselves. My decision to have a wedding and a family and a house I will be responsible for those decisions while having my parents enjoy their grandchildren - not raise them through to old age. And they are still going to live with me when they are elderly.
That's how it should be done 💯instead of making your severely physically disabled kid feel like trash for not being able to move out as soon as adulthood hits even though they weren't told to save their money as a child and then having that kid say fuckit I won't take care of y'all when y'all are old then when the shoes on the other foot 🤷🏽♀️
That’s so sweet I wish I had that type of family love and support. I told my children that when they are older they are welcome to stay at home and save money for a house car and go to trade school or college. Real family send their adult children out into the world prepared to survive and thrive.
As an Indian it always baffled me how western people can throw their kids out at 18. When they dont have any resources to support them and basically no real understanding of the world.
Most of them don’t, it’s typically only the wealthy and the abusive/neglectful parents that do this unless they’re moving for college. My sister stayed home until she was 25 because she attended a community college still stayed after she dropped out and I moved out after high school because I was going to a college three hours away and when I graduated I moved back for six months before getting a job in my field of study and moving again 4 hours away.
They don't. My oldest is 17 and will stay home til he is 25+. I moved out at 18, but my parents didn't make me and I moved back home at 24 after university.
They don’t. Educate yourself. As a westerner I’m baffled by arranged marriages .
@@smileandsaycheese44 do you even know how arranged marriage work? Mr. ignorant westerner
Because our whole culture revolves around the notion that we need to force kids to be more self sufficient so parents don’t have to deal with them. This begins as a baby when they’re forced to cry out their issues and in turn learn to disassociate themselves from their parents because of that detachment they are forced to endure which goes completely against their ingrained instincts to survive. Then they shuffle them off to school at an early age as soon as they can wipe their own butts and force them to be segregated all day long and away from their families and are taught to be seen and not heard in everything they do. Their needs are ignored and forced to be stifled because it’s inconvenient for anyone and everyone that’s not the child otherwise. They are brought up in an adult only environment where anything that disrupts that system, is seen as being annoying and unnecessarily disruptive to their way of being. Children in this culture are treated with disrespect and not to be trusted because they don’t know what’s good for them, yet when they become of age to leave home, are treated like they should be better off than they are just because they are deemed that arbitrary age to do so. It’s no wonder why so many return home because they didn’t make it the first time they left the nest.
Parents in our culture are raised themselves to see being done with their kids as soon as they can be to have their own time to themselves because they are taught to disassociate from their children their whole childhood. It’s easier for them to treat their kids like this and it’s no wonder why their kids ditch them in a nursing home when their own time comes so their kids can go off and live their own lives without them just as they were taught to do with them as children.
It’s just the mainstream way of doing things here and honestly, I find it sad! Children are not raised with compassion or empathy and that’s why we lack it in our culture today. Parents are not raised that way themselves and they cycle just goes on and on because it’s what we’ve always done.
I’m not in any rush to kick my kids out. I actually missed out on half of half of my kids’ childhood for circumstances beyond my control and sadly for those children that I missed out on, I’m just waiting for their ‘other parent’ to get sick of them at that arbitrary age and kick them out so I can actually be able to spend time with them to make up for all of those opportunities taken for me. For my other kids, they won’t be kicked out just because they turn 18, but they will be prepared to be in their own by then if they choose to leave by then. I know I was out of the house before that age and couldn’t get away from my parents to get freedom but that was also because I never was made to feel like I mattered even being home anyways.
I did this with my younger brother I practically raised. I charged $150 and I gave him the money and the interest it had earned at his engagement party when he was 27. It was darn near 20k so I rounded it up. It took forever to convince him to accept it and that it was his rent money saved up. I do recommend giving it to them not when they turn a certain age but at a changing point in their lives: buying a house, marriage, first apartment after college graduation. Something that has them thinking about the future and their lives and they will be much less inclined to spend it on stupid things.
Bless you!
Good job. I applaud your thinking. ❤
What a good suggestion.
Bless you & bravo to a job well done ❤
Beautiful advice
Asian here. We live with our parents and grandparents for however much time life gives us. Joint family is the best thing💙💙💙.
I agree!!
not until you want to have some free will with your house and do what you want with it
@@saffron1996 as Asians, each of our rooms are with our own designations. The living room is left us for joint decision but grandparents leave it to us. Our parents have most inputs and we have innovative ones. And the comfort, happiness and content feeling that joint family gives is more than our want to design own home 💙💙. What's a huge pretty house without family?
No sich thing for Americans. Kids have to pay back.
@@doc2log it's American culture, yes.
Here in Africa we live with our parents till you got married or you are dead….Love my African culture ❤
Same in Mexico. Family sticks together for as much as possible and we always support each other ❤
Not all people
I'm still at home , 40 yrs old... I struggle with mental health.
Uk - my adult daughter still lives at home , other daughter & grandson next door & son with grandkids round the corner
😊😊
I love it :)
@@Dinadino994 that is great i see no reason in yh sending out your children from your home..
As an Arab, I'm very grateful we live with our parents tbh
Who as an adult wants to live with their parents? If you can move out. If you can't I understand. Like when you start dating your boyfriends go there?
And when your parents are having sx? Do you hear them? I never grew up with with two parents only one single parent so I don't know
As an Arab girl I agree 👍
In my eu country you don’t get kicked out you need to do something really mess up to get kicked out and a lot don’t even pay any rent get a free first cheap car and help with college, because of financials age of leaving home is ~33 years old
These Asians in the comments actually believing Western parents "kick" their kids out has to be the funniest shit ever loL whatever these Western parents do seems to be working better than all of these Asian countries combined. Ive been to Asians countries and The Western countries and damn Westerners are way happier, more successful, morally and ethically superior than the rest of the World. And I'm not Westerner lmao.
It’s so messed up that kids In america move out when they are 18, literally most other places in the world you stay with your family till you are married, no wonder there is such loneliness, pressure, lack of community, empathy and depression in the country
Exactly, I am shocked to see this kind of mentality. Hyper-individualistic society will only further perpetuate the loneliness epidemic...
@@zelena.pupavka I know, having a family at home gives you a support network, I’m not saying live as a child, when I say stay at home I don’t mean let your parents do everything, you still do the washing and cleaning and you cook for your family, you look after your parents and they make sure you have a home, that way when you finish university you aren’t as crippled by debt.
Ummmm....I wanted to move out at 18! Most kids do!
I am from Germany and also lived in the USA for 4 month. Here in Germany it is similar to the USA. The majority moves out with 18-21 I would guess.
It just feels wrong to stay at home with your parents, after growing up in such a culture, because the peers and siblings do the same thing. It feels like you miss an important step in development.
Maybe it would have been different if I grew up in a different culture. But for me it just felt right to move out and it felt wrong to stay at home.
Im not in America, Im in NZ but I moved out at 15.
Old methods of parenting have not caught up with modern teens.
Moving out early for my own independance was the best thing I ever did.
My grandparents actually did this for my uncle. He was in the army in desert storm and for years he was sending them money, but they saved all the money he gave them and then gave it back to them. I thought wow that’s amazing and a real beautiful blessing ❤️🙏
Did they invest the money in bonds that paid guaranteed interest to beat inflation? If not, then the money was worth less when your uncle returned.
I love your grandparents for being so selfless and caring to your uncle.
@@bobhilton2643 Sometimes information is not only unnecessary, but unasked as well. Communicate positively with strangers for maximal effect.
I greatly appreciate your Uncle’s Service to our country! Your Grandparents did a wonderful thing!!
❤❤❤
I’m Hispanic, 39 years old, and still live with my parents. My mother is on disability and my father close to retirement. I help them out financially and we enjoy each other’s company. Don’t plan on leaving ever! I’m in good hands here and vice versa.
Same I'm 40 and black. It's good to be here helping be her caretaker. I get qt with the family and save at the same time, win win lol
So you don't date or plan to ever marry
@lwinston5950 you can still date and get married and live with your parents, I know a few people like that and I'm in my late 30s
@@AndrewDaniele87But it’s not optimal or ideal
@AlignWithJesus not for everyone but I'm just saying situations like it do exist
Helping your children build wealth is one of the best things you can do for their future stability.
In this economy, the ones moving out are more likely living with roommates. So I guess staying with parents is best ❤ (unless is a toxic environment)
My Nigerian parents NEVER charged us to live at home after 25. We went to a local college, made us get a job at 18, and taught us how to drive at the same age.😂
Why only start working at 18?
A Nigerian parent would never
@@mchanel.because in many countries it is illegal for underaged people to work, as it falls under child labour
@@Lumosnight interesting
@@giftedchild9490 Yes they would
$21,000 down payment is a thing if the past 😢
I was just about to say that. Although I guess it depends on where you live. I’m in California so I could maybe use that as a down payment on a shed. 😂
I only paid 10k Down on a 3bed 2bath
Definitely depends on where u live
First time homebuyer programs.
@@MotherofDragons937😂😂
I did an FHA loan and got a 3 bed 1 1/2 bath with yard garage and shed and my closing costs in total that I had to cover was around a thousand and maybe about 300-400 $ in materials to fix the house before I moved in to qualify for the loan
YES. The idea that at 18 Everybody has lifeskills is NOT the " normal" thing to do in many cultures. Stronger family bonds & values are forged because of this.
My parents charged so much rent when i was young that i only had a few dollars a week to survive on. I made 80 a week and my rent was $250 a month. Meanwhile they claimed poverty but they could afford to go out for fancy dinners and booze. Taught me what i would not do to my kids
I am 33 and still with my mom. Dad and bro were already in the heaven. I am giving my mom 25% of my salary and I cook my own food. Whenever there is something in the house that needs repair or replacement, I am in charge. We dine out and I pay the bills.
Different people, different culture
Dad never charged me rent. Instead he taught me how to work, save money, pay bills and build my credit score. At 23 years old, I move into my own place Sunday.
Thank you dad. ❤
I like your dad's approach better, compared to the video on saving up the money for the kid to hand over when they reach 25yrs old.
Though they don't state in the video, they may have taught similar values to your dad, hopefully before handing that money over to them. Once you hand them the money, they can change their mind and do whatever they want with said cash.
I think what your dad taught you was far more important than handing straight up cash (not literally). 😅
He's a fisher of men. A fisherman. He gave you the tools to teach you how to fish without handing you the fish first.
Wise dad. 🩷✨️👍
God bless your dad!❤
@@LindaQueLeenda I definitely will! ❤️
@@crystalwaters8852 ❤️✨
@@maylin1986 thank you for your kind words! My dad says thank you!
My mom and step-dad told me I had to get a job when I was 15 years old because "I needed to pull my weight and help out with the finances" I was homeschool through the county I lived in and therefore was expected to clean the house aswell throughout the day because I was already home. I swear looking back I was so stressed out all the time because my parents never let up about how finances were tight and were so upset at me when they found out I was falling behind in school because of the responsibilities, mind you I was 15! They didnt even try to help me find a job becaise what did I know about that at that age, even my teacher at the time would ask if my home life was ok occasionally but at the time I thought it was normal. Dont get me wrong I love my parents but some put their responsibilities on their children and make them carry the burden of their decisions which I know now is wrong.
Hearing this as a FILIPINO MAKES ME CRY HOW LUCKY I AM
I would cry if I had to live with parents forever and never have a place of my own and privacy as an adult
@@ravenc4912 You don't "have to", you *can* , without the need of paying to your parents as you were a stranger in your childhood house lol
My mom did something similar. I didn’t stay until I was 25, but she gave me back all of the rent she “charged” me and helped me set up my first place. I was shocked and happy!
I hope you treat her well.
My Parents didn't give the money back that they charged me, instead they paid off my student loan and gave me what was left.
Did she come over do your dishes, laundry , cook and wipe your butt too baby?
Its a great idea, I just dont like the title you use. Why would I kick them at 18? So they can put you on a nursing home at 70? You get what you give. Im hispanic we show them to save. You know family oriented.
I'm 37 and still living with my mama. I pay the bills, and she does some groceries when her pension comes.
So sweet ❤❤❤
❤❤❤
I'm 41 and me too...except I buy groceries and help take care of my dad who is bed-ridden
@@margaretfalde that's nice. I can't buy groceries cuz I have no stable job and I have to buy my medicines regularly so I just help by paying the month end bills.
@@margaretfaldeI’m a caregiver too. My mom lives with me and I don’t charge her. I’m 40. Hang in there. Caregiving isn’t easy.
As an Indian we live with our parents more than that. For a guy,they stay with their parents forever.This is very common except they don’t charge us money to live.
Cool. Now understand that not all parents want to live with their kids and our living situations is different than yours.
Even indian immigrants in the US are moving out of their parents house.
not everyone tho. i turned 18 a week ago and I'll be leaving home in 6 months. my brother's 15 rn and he will leave too once he turns of age. while majority of families follow what u mentioned, its not true for a lot of them.
@@Buttsceatcgeeyour answer sounds so passive aggressive, they just wanted to comment about their lifestyle and share their experience.
I bet you don't live in India then @@sahilpreetkaur1190
@@Highmind_420 probably because a lot of them indians/asians watched a video and judged all of Americans as if we hate our parents…
I had nine siblings. Was told to pay $25 week rent in 1981. Mom said she'd save it for my wedding someday. I asked her for it when i got married. She said " Are you kidding? We needed that money for food and bills!" 😂
Its okhh, they need help from their children as they are growing old and weak😊😊
Being that they raised ten, it's likely the truth. However, I'm truly sorry to hear that happened after you were told otherwise. 🥺
@KendraVeverka it's OK. I got married at 32. Already had my own home for years. I didn't need the money, just wanted to hear her reaction to me asking. I liked messing with her. 🤪🤪
😂😂😂 so relatable
😂😂😂😂 funny story
My Egyptian parents never charged me for anything. They only stopped giving me an allowance when I started working. Later on my mom noticed my bad spending habits and that's when she started taking money from me, can't remember under what pretense. A few years later she took me to the bank and made me open another account and placed a huge sum of money in it. The money she was saving up for me ❤God rest her soul❤
Good to hear you have such a great mom!
I went to Egypt last year!! Beautiful place & rich with culture
You got an allowance? Interesting!
@@meiyosei78 thank you. She passed away last year, God rest her soul.
Yes God rest her soul ❤ that's the first time I heard it in English though sounds different From allah yer7amha for some reason
I heard a story of a youngman whose "parents" dumped him in Colorado from California as soon as he turned 18. Kids turn into adults! Some people treat their own offspring like pets.
And I bet he didn't tell you the inside addition to himself 😮 most people dont😮 if you raise your children and they do not respect your rules and your ways.. considering the rules and ways are coming from protection and not controlling.. then they need to know that at 18 that will be there last yr in the nest. You have x amount of days or mths to leave. That is the real world..
@@Heseesyou 👆. EXACTLY!! 💯
@@HeseesyouYou're assuming the parents are well adjusted people. People with children can have personality disorders and be terrible human beings, etc.... just like any other person can be. Having a child doesn't change that, it can actually make some worse and we all know people like this exist. People need to stop automatically assuming the 'parent' is right and the child is just disobedient, unprepared or ungrateful, that's not reality. My mother, for example, did exactly what the original commentor suggested...to all 6 of her children... and is now addicted to drugs and will be all alone in her old age due to her poor choices in life. As one raised to be the scapegoat I can tell you I was obedient, loving, a good student, it did not matter. I was ditched the day before my bday when the child support checks stopped coming. Sooo, hope this broadens your perspective a bit and you stop making baseless assumptions and victim blaming.✌️
@yoface9079 sounds like you haven't forgiven your care takers? I see your still a sinner and continuing to deflect and escape your up bringing. You do know Jesus came to set the captives free and died an awful death so you and I can live for him.. you haven't given me a different perspective, you just given me another example of excuses.. which are well planned lies.. and who is the author of lies? Satan.. your father. You need to repent and forsake your sin.. not your moms sin but your sin..
@@HeseesyouThat is the real world in North American, very cold family culture. I cant imagine kicking my kids out at any age or charging them for their room, but it is totally a cultural thing. We latino families love and take care of each other forever.
My parents are the reason I didn't have any money when I moved out.
My cousin is 30 and lives with his parents. He helped out and respect them. He work hard to save his money all he can to get his own place. We love him very much ❤️
I’d never kick my kids out of the house without them having a plan surrounding how they’ll survive on their own out there
Hmmm never say never
Don't stop them from trying,on their own, everyone has to live their life you can't stop life happening to them.I saw this with my neice and my sister it ended badly.She wanted to be the ground my neice walked on.NPD. behavior. Really bad.
I agree 👍 i mean, i can't leave my cat alone in my room for 30 minutes. How will i be able to leave my flesh and blood outside without a home or a meen of survival
Yes … having a plan is key. What many people don’t understand is sometimes children are crippled when they are never challenged. Some parents say “you can stay with me forever”. So now you have 40 and 50 year olds still at home. Not because they can’t leave but because they never chose to do the work to take care of themselves.
People who kick their OWN KIDS out of the house at 18, barely after high-school and not college graduated yet , do not love their kids . They use the law as an excuse to abandon them
Some 18 year olds are way too troublesome to keep in the same home. If they can’t behave they have to leave.
@@user-oy3yo7qe6o given them extraordinary cheap rent to enable them to save for themselves is definitely helping them.
@@user-oy3yo7qe6o me too but this other method is the other end of the spectrum.
I completely agree with this. I idea of your children becoming not your child anymore when they turn 18 is wild. The difference between the day when they were a minor and the day when they became an adult doesn’t change who they are. In the eyes of the law they are adults, but to a parent nothing should change. Your child should be your responsibility no matter what their age is. If it’s 5,18,35, it shouldn’t matter cause they will always be the person that your raised and love.
But they always keep supporting the golden chosen helpless child while they theirselves are in their 80s and 90s...SMDH.
I paid $200 in rent a month when I made $20k/yr and never saw any of it ever again from my Mom. My brother paid $400 a month when he made $60k/yr. She no longer charges him rent, he still lives with her and has never moved out and he’s mid-60’s.He was allowed to hoard things in every room where I had to live in only one room. He physically hit and hurt me and she would tell us she’ll kick both of us out when I didn’t do anything wrong. I left home almost 8 years ago. Best decision ever. Both are Narcissists.Narcissism is a Helluva drug.
I was given into a childrenshome at 13. I was the scapegoat too. I'm sorry for what happend to you!
my parents split up a week after I turned 18, I had just finished school a month prior, so I didn't have a job yet.
they split and said "good luck" and sent me off into the wild with nothing.
im so jealous of the people who got to spend a few more years with their parents, so they had time to prepare for real adulthood.
Don't be jealous/ envy them g.... we all have our experiences. My folks divorced wen I was 3 and I moved out at 17 etc etc long ass story
But I say that 2 say u got this, and yes it's fucked what happened 2ya but u can only move forward and build from there
The world is upside down my darling, I wish my children never move, but they did... I also divorce my my children stay with me, my daughter move at 20 with her boyfriend...
@aldastroud9671 both of my parents have passed away before I even turned 35. I spent 10 years of that resenting my mom and not speaking to her.
we reconciled in 2020 and I only had a few good years with her (she survived breast cancer in 2020 and failed to survive liver cancer in 2022)
I implore others to reach out to their parents and reconcile, if possible. I'll regret not doing it earlier for the rest of my life.
I may be an odd case, but at 29, I still live with my parents, but only because they’ve been financially dependent on us kids since I was 18. They will never move out and it’s draining my bank account and ruing my credit. I’d say, it’s probably great to have a few more years with your parents as long as they’re supporting you and you’re not supporting them. Although, I think I’d still rather support them together than have them divorced.
@@pimzae I also lost mine 😢 my mum was only 45 when she died and my dad, well just like I told him a few days before he passed " I whish we never lost so many years with rubbish" he agreed and that was the last time we ever spoke... Is all very sad. Is nothing more beautiful than a family that stay together and support each other doesn't have to be perfect, just family or what I understand of the word family, that seems doesn't mean the same for all ☹️
Forget saving money, İ helped my parents paying bills and was not able to save money. İt's very privileged to have parents in such a situation. When I'm thinking back buying food for the family of 6, studying at one of the best colleges and having several jobs on side. İt was taff bit I survived and learned a lot 😊
Taff bit?
@@ReneeWright69 it should be "taff but" 🙂
İng hazırlık fln okuyup hala böyle yazıyorsan allah yardımcın olsun kanka nerede okudun
It was cheaper for me to be out on my own than work so danged hard just to give almost all my money, for food etc, to my parents to feed my adult siblings who didn't even live there. I was just a kid still. Adult financial responsiblities since I was babysitting at 10 was horrendous! 😔
@@bruh-hr1mtsorry??? would you please write in English when you have any questions? If you can of course.
My dad was attached to our (my siblings and i) savings account and in order to live at his house past 18 we had to show we were Saving a certain percentage of what we were making at our jobs. He still paid all the bills and fed us, he just taught us to be dilligent savers. It's helped me immensely. Left his house with enough money to buy 6 acres in the mountains.
That sounds amazing! Good job dad!
I paid room and board, 300.00/month, as soon as I was working a full time job. It helped my mom and did not hurt me. That was on the early 80s.
Same
I'm Hispanic, we don't kick our kids out. Ever.
Asi es!
Take in your illegal friends
Well Hispanics are poor and will have like five families living in a one bedroom apartment together
Speak for yourself! My Mexican alcoholic dad was very much with the idea an adult is 18! And you pay your own bills. He couldn’t wait to get rid of us! We go no contact now
@@Youwish34 I think they're talking about the collective of Hispanics. There's always an exception to the rule.
I pay rent my mom is not able to save what I pay as we are just trying to survive but this is a lovely idea for those that can swing it ❤
My 15 year old works has a car, that she maintains, pay her bills and still can pay $250 if I asked her too (but don’t) and she stills save….sounds like you have a lot of excuses..
@@sahw8811 sounds like you’re looking for a reason to pick on someone just trying to share my situation with others that don’t make enough to save after paying bills as well . But go off 👍🏽
@@sahw8811, I suggest you read the comment again.
You are a sour soul. @@sahw8811
@@sahw8811- i hope your ignorant comment stems from the fact that you didn’t ACTUALLY read the post and not the privileged entitlement it sounds like.
My mom charged me $400 a month & used it on the bills lol she don’t want me in her house for free 🤣
Facts 😂😂😂😂😂😂 mine too 😂😂😂
Fair enough!
But she owes you that money back. Her bills are in HER name, therefore she is responsible for HER home.
Mine did too but mine a single mom she has no choice and it’s okay when we move out well already know how to save For rent 😊
@shaolinqueen3684 But if you're living there, you're making the bills go up. You're eating the food, using the water and electric. Where do you know of that you can get your own room in an apartment or house for 400 dollars other than your parents house.
Our car broke down and even with my husband and I working full time we could not afford the down payment or car payment for a new car. My son started working a few months ago when he turned 16 and he makes pretty good money working part time. He saved up a large amount very quickly and we put our money together for a down payment and he had the choice to either pay the light/phone/internet bill each month or the car payment each month. I also gave him the option that if he pays the car each month it will be his by the time he graduates and paid off so he can have a vehicle for college. He chose option 2 and he also saves whatever is left of his check in his savings account. I’m am beyond proud of him 😊
That’s great. I always say it’s a blessing to have good kids because not everyone has good kids. You should be proud.
We did this with both of our kids, allowed them to pay off all their debts, and both of them are homeowners in their 20s
Most Parents couldn't afford
to give that back though 🙏🇬🇧
Shouldn't have kids.
And why are their child responsible for that?
Lol as someone who grew up in the “can’t afford this option”- where should the parents pull that money from? Should we pretend that kids will just not be impacted by their parents’ finances?
To be clear- I agree with this option but let’s be real. Not everyone has it like that.
@@12rapdlif the "child" is 18+ then it is their problem 😂
@@12rapdlFrankly having a less than market value rent is a gift from a parent even if they don’t get the money back.
If mom and dad need to use that money to not make the budget as tight for the house…then a relatively modest rent is a gift in itself.
💯 This is EXACTLY what my parents did. I am forever thankful now as a homeowner.
Guess the bank is the homeowner? If not, congratulations!
@@annabellebraeuning9205thank you 🎉
@@annabellebraeuning9205pessimistic for what?! I bet you find zero joy in your life. Hope you kept that attitude in 2023.
That’s some generational wealth shit right there
@@clakams Nope. Parents are not and never were wealthy. They simply collected "rent" from me as a young working adult, then returned the money I'd given them when it was time for me to put a down payment on a home of my own. I am not wealthy, but managed to pay of my mortgage less than 20 years later. I'm not wealthy, but smart planning allowed me to pay my house off.
My daughter stays with us until she is ready. Period. I fill with a plasma hot rage when people talk about kicking their kids out.
Maybe you should calm down Becky and not let what other people do ruin your happiness.
I come from a family of eight children … our parent charge us a little rent once we started working … to help out and be responsible.. we all feel it made us who we are today … ♥️ Thank you mom & dad for how you raised us and to be responsible… RIP mom & dad ♥️🫶🏼🙏🏽
Where I live, families just kinda stay together in the same house. It's a given. No one bats an eye if you're 30 living with your parents lol. The kids generally don't move out at 18, they stay until they've finished University, gotten a job and most of the time, gotten married. You basically don't leave until you're ready to leave 😂 Sometimes even if you're married, you live there until you can afford your own house, or it just becomes and multi-generational family home. Ofc not all houses are like this but yeah
That's how my family is. Very grateful 🙏
Brazil?
This is how it is in slovakia, the avrage move out age is about 30. My aunt moved out when she was like 33 with her fiance, and now theyve been living out on a small farm ( but on a giant propaty) for like 6 years now…
Yeah I don't really get why adult children living at home has a negative connotation where I live. Especially when the cost of living (esp rent and homes) is so expensive!
True, my family also like that...and I'm very grateful because of that
Down payment on a used van more like it.
alot of people are doing just that since so many jobs are remote or work of traveling, there are people who live in their vans because their business requires them going to the clients where ever they are.
You’d be surprised, that’s pretty standard for houses ranging from the 500-600,000$. That’s about what the down payment would be, five grand per month. If you want to do it the right way, though, you gotta be making at least 250K a year to pay that comfortably. That’s where I say you gotta be fucking kidding me.
If you like 4k amonth mortgages sure. Do it
Ehh actually depends on the area you live in and what type of loan you have. I had first time homebuyer and only put $11,000 down and pay less for my mortgage than I would renting an apartment in my area.
If you use a USDA or FHA loan your down payment will be much lower. I'm about to close on my first home with less than $100 down because I'm using USDA. And that's nationwide because it's federal
I have struggled so much with poverty as someone who HAD TO move out at 18, i am now 40. I wish people stopped having kids they cannot afford. I always admire people who were raised by stable parents, things just seem to come quicker to them in life. I have chosen never to have children i cannot clothe and feed comfortably. Tough love is bullshit.
True... actually its not even tough love..its dumb concepts and law..where we r treated as animals.. family has purpose..if family act like business..then they aren't worthy..
Very courageous of you.
My parent would never kick me out at 18 and they'll never charge me for rent, instead they'll teach me how to save
Its beautiful things
My mom charged me $200 a month rent since I was 17. I moved out when I turned 18 and was renting a duplex with a friend. My share of the rent was $140 a month. This was back in the late 70s. I found out later that my mom's house payment was $275. She had me open a savings account when I was about 10 years old and put every penny I earned doing chores into said savings account. In my teens I started doing odd jobs. I put that money into my savings account as well. Because I was under age my mother was the trustee on my account. She stole all of my money and closed my account before I turned 18.
And no she wasn't low income or needed it she was just greedy and doesn't care about anyone but herself. She did the same thing to my father when he developed cancer. Stole every penny from his personal savings account and then closed it. He was very upset. He died the following year. 😢
I don't have much to say to her.
Some people are dispicable... sorry you went through that, & your dad, people like that at the end will see when no ones at their side hope you got your life together away from her...
Don't honey! She is not worth your words and feelings. She chose her actions so she should bear the consequences.
Let her spend Christmas and Halloween with that money. She can eat Thanksgiving dinner on her dining table with that money. Let the money grow up and when that money has children/her grandkids, then she can attend their recital.
Stay out and stay away from negative energy. And remember to never repeat her mistakes!
Stay blessed!
Wow😮
That’s terrible, I am really sorry 🤍🍀❤️
Iamso sorry for you. Hope you are at peace now.❤
My mom did this with my grandma. She lived with her till 37 when she met my dad. She helped with the mortgage but by grandma kept all the money and when my mom got married she gave it to her as a wedding present. ❤
And what if child can't pay rent? That means kicking them out after 18. That's so stupid. In our country, children can stay with their parents as long as they want
Charge them $250 per month for rent while in college ?
Instead help your kids get through college. They'll be educated and be able to afford a home, travel and have a family. Believe me, they'll thank you.
Must be nice to have responsible and caring parents
Fr…
I can’t believe people kick their kids out and that that’s a thing when they turn 18 that’s so cruel 👹
All kids wanted to leave home when they left school at 18, where I’m from. It was just the normal accepted thing to do. No kid wanted to be stuck at home with their folks once they went to uni or got their first job!!
@@mandyellis876sad you kids saw your parents as a burden and ‘non freedom’. That’s taught behavior. Not an aspect of culture to be proud of. There is no love between parent and child? Because the child wants to get out of the parents ASAP it seems. But when the child is in need, it will go back to the parents to USE them. Sad all around.
@@truehappiness4Unonsense.
It is natural that the children grow up and want to get out in the world.
Would the parents still want to live with their parents?
It's not using parents if they need to come back.
It's just getting help from family
@@Deejaay83urj38 again, that’s your culture and it’s nothing to be proud unless the teens want to go out themselves. But many in Europe have that culture as well, but the children really never get prepared to leave house at 18. Why? They have conducted research: the prefrontal cortex isn’t fully developed until age 25, meaning it is hard for them to make good decisions. Them moving out means: suddenly no one to cook for them, to clean after them etc. Many boys and girls cannot cool for themselves at age 18, they don’t even have money to rent or buy a house! You must be American. Even the Europeans are realizing that culture aspect is not okay, and many want to stay at home until age 26 (approx.) so they can save money up for a decent house and they can learn to cook and clean up and have responsibilities step by step.
@dawnjohnson3263 in many cultures especially Asian culture, parents, children and their grandparents all live together, it's a multi generational home, not coz they can't afford it, it's mostly coz nobody likes to move out. It's called a close kit family where everyone supports each other in their own way. Children grow up best with grandparents while parents can go on make money worry free and in return they take care of their parents heath. It's a chain of support system that unfortunately the western world lacks and boasts about freedom at 18😅 which is complete bullshit
In India, sons live their parents to serve them in their old age. Now a days situation is changing. But staying with parents and looking after them is looked upon as great service to family.
honestly ive always disliked that, i believe we should have a choice not be forced to take care of our parents, especially if they are abusive.
@@expertgaming Asians love their filial piety but it’s not always the case.
Problem is sons dont serve their parents they expect their wives to serve them. Thats the issue ,otherwise living together and taking care of old parents would not be a issue.
@@expertgamingOur parents dont throw us out at 18. They pay for our education . They love us ,discipline us. Its extremely selfish to not repay their care in their old age.
Thats why your west is broken down societaly.
Grandparents also teach small kids lots of Sanskar. They should help in raising kids.
@@bapparawal2457Did they say they were from the west? Also, most Indian parents are emotionally manipulative and their discipline is too harsh at times. They raised us because they brought it into this world by THEIR choice. Most parents everywhere have to do that. That doesn't mean it's a child's obligation to take care of their parents at old age. It should be a choice. Sometimes children are not financially stable to take care pf themselves as well.
Moreover, our Indian society glorifies the concept of families a bit too much. They don't show how draining it is to live in the family (How many families are actually happy together?) . 'Sanskar' concepts are outdated now. It's no use upholding them unnecessarily. Stop following older people's ideaologies blindly.
Regarding this short, I think 18 is a bit too young to leave home, maybe 24-25 is a good age to leave.
I hope and pray that I can set my 5 kids up like this in the future ❤🙏🏿
@ShadesofSage Let it be done in Jesus mighty name! 🙏🙌
@@M.A-zd3fs Aww! Thank you so much 😭❤️! I really appreciate that encouragement 🙏🏿!
Or try teaching them about finance at 5. They are not stupid, most of us started banking through school, but parents/carers can also teach kids the value of money. They will thank you more, when they're capable by the time they're 18. Keep them home until whenever, but teach them how to manage money as soon as possible. Savings will still happen. 13 years of saving, is better than 7, js.
I agree 💯 What she's saying is not how real life works.
Our sons and daughters live with us till they get married, when we retire they provide us. We never kick our family and they never leave us at old age. Every Arab. 😊
It's your responsibility to take care of them because you brought them into this world - they didn't ask to be here, you forced them into the world. It's not their responsibility to take care of you in your old age. If they do, then they're doing you a favor.
That’s why you have like 10 people living in one house on top of each other 😂
Yeah, but you force them into careers and lives they don't want. Our kids can choose their paths, and I don't want them caring for me, I want them building their lives.
Just think of all the rent those 10 people save every month. Like 20k.
You hope.
As indians our parents don't kick us out untill we are married in case of girls, boys can stay throughout the life of the parents
I told my daughter as long as she makes something of herself and is a responsible, thriving adult, she can live with me as long as she needs to. Plus, we’re Latina, it’s not uncommon for families to live together. 😊❤
Or just buy a big ass home, and it becomes the "Family Home" and everyone lives there and pitches in and everyone saves a shit ton of money.
That's what my family is doing right now, but I need my independence. My parents treat me like a child when it's convenient and an adult when it's convenient. It's very exhausting.
@@rubyciounderstand you 100%. Thats why i ultimately decided it was best for me to live on my own. No amount of "money saved" could compete with my autonomy and peace of mind. But with oarents that arent difficult, I could imagine it would be a wonderful set up.
That's the beat way to do it in this economy
Depends on the family. Do you really want 5 different families living under the same roof? 😬
Ain't no way in hell I'm living with my psychotic father
My parents provided for me until I got married and moved out. They taught me how to save and make smart purchases.
My parents are helping me out, too. They know I’m working to make a life for myself and to be honest rent is incredibly expensive for a single person to pay. And thankfully they understand that and don’t make me feel bad for having to live with them longer than some adults live with their parents. We help each other and work together to keep the house running. For us this is completely normal and not a big deal for us at all. Lol. I love them and am so grateful for them❤
Are you a woman? If so, that’s ok. But not for a man.
They are good parents. I did the same for my son and he appreciated it.
Which is what parents are supposed to do.....parent.
@@kimgilson7903 legal and cultural, obligations or wildly different things. My parents don’t give a shit if I get married or not so that has nothing to do with whether or not or financially provide for me. In fact, they taught me that as an adult no one but myself should be responsible for financially providing for me.
Charging your kids money is such a wild concept
Whenever I was 16 my father started asking me "So what are you going to move out" whenever I turned 18 they didn't kick me out.... Then I moved out whenever I was around 23, then I moved back in a few months later, then I moved out when I was like 25 or 26.
My sister's almost 30 and she still lives with my parents.
My parents tried to charge me “market rate” to rent my childhood bedroom from them while I lived with them when I was over 18 and working. This was in addition to all of the chores I did around the house and all of the rides I gave to everyone in the family. So I said OK if I’m paying market rate rent anyway then I’m going to rent a room somewhere else for the same price where I don’t have to also do all this additional work around the house. They backtracked real quick and never asked me to pay them rent again. Not too long after I was able to afford my own studio apartment and permanently moved out which they were upset about.
You are right - family shouldn’t be a business.
You did the right thing. It's sad but just be grateful they showed their true colours early.
Give thanks when people expose themselves.
@henryk8744 I think kids should help with bills to help relieve financial strain... but market rent to live at home and get used? Hell no, lol. As claric said, they showed their true colors early on. They could have enjoyed more time with their child, but now they may have fractured that relationship?
@@inwiththenew414 I disagree. I think parents should make adjustments to their own expenses to relieve financial strain. Our bills and debt should not be the burdens of our children. They will have their own bills and debts one day.
@katriecedavis898 well, sorry to say it, but you made the choice to procreate, no one is forcing people to have kids they can't afford. That responsibility rests with parents since theywanted to produce offspring. It is the parents responsibility to provide a solid foundation for kids to start off from and then ensure their kids go on to be successful, respectful, well-rounded human beings. People should not have kids if they can't afford the responsibilities that go along with it.
Where I am coming from, we are still relatives after this age, so we don't go that route. We would never ever be so greedy as parents to charge own kids. Then you wonder why they are not visiting later.
The parents give the money back. That was the whole point of the video and you completely missed it. The video is only two minutes long. How much time do you spend watching UA-cam shorts?
That makes sense if you own your home outright but many parents will struggle to pay utility bills, pension contributions and rent or mortgage payments. Their adult children shouldn’t exploit them by living at home and contributing nothing.
@@Vitobandito434 the fact that I stated my opinion clearly has nothing to do with giving the money back. Why taking the money in the first place? It's ridiculous. It's my job as parent to take care of my child, even after 18. I will help in any way, whilst guiding to save or look for a place once he/she got a job.
My parents, paid my living costs when I studied at Uni. I will do the same for my kid.
@@gaviota-sibila1093who says they don't contribute? It is exchange/family life. But setting a pricetag and executing it every month makes this relationship extremely transactional....just for them to give it back anyway? Best if kids make decision where to live and for how much or how to save. What is parents will need to move in with children at old age? Kids charge them back? 😊
You do understand that you’re doing your kids a complete disservice by not charging rent? This is where entitlement stems from. You leave school and start work, of course you’re going to be expected to contribute to the household!! You don’t get a free ride for life, that’s not how the real world operates!!
Parents are not kicking....kids are running...
We only leave home when we get married 😂
I can’t imagine still living with my parents at 25, you would need good communication and boundaries
you need those anyway
In most of the world, it is normal to live with your parents at that age
@@zelena.pupavkaokay but understand that we all have different living conditions. Especially 1st world vs 3rd world countries.
Its happening to Japan, south korea, us and parts of Europe. Even china would kick their kids out for marriage.
If your country wants to be a first world, be prepared for mental conditions and working yourself to the core for money.
@@Buttsceatcgee f the 1st world, I wanna be happy and take my time.
@@ButtsceatcgeeThat’s bullshit. It’s a matter of culture, not level of development.
In many countries in Europe it’s actually regulated by law that parents must sustain their kids until they finish their higher education (up to the age of 26).
This advice works great for families that are not in the poverty level, that minimum is going towards electric and the internet service that everyone uses while parents pay the rent/mortgage/other utilities. If there are 2 parents and 2 children then every other week the grown kids can buy the groceries.
Oh my God
No. This actually encourages the kids to move forward and work hard to learn to earn money and later, they may even be able to support the parents. This is EXCELLENT advice. Don’t keep the poverty train going strong. Stop the madness and the victim mentality.
(Said the woman who grew up very poor, got out at 18 and made her own way)
And then the cycle of poverty can continue.. I refuse to charge my child rent, it's my responsibility to provide for my children not the other way around.
@@user-if4ib4gg9uagree. Her method poverty will never end.
Works even better if you are in the poverty level. Because if you are too broke to live alone, you can pool resources and at least access a warm room and a hot shower.
If you are struggling, even an air mat on the floor of a hallway can help you stay clean, rested, and employable.
Even if you don't get a stack of cash when you move out, you still save money by not struggling to spread dollars even more thin because you are going it alone.
This is amazing advice!
as an asian...i live forever with my parent, no need to charge me😊
Reading the comments, and I feel 😢.
Despite that the situation in my country is so bad, but I feel privileged to have Arabic parents where I still live with them at the age of 29 as well as my siblings (33 and 25 years old) without paying anything, not for rent, food or even clothing.
They also still give me money even though I am working. They also paid for my uni and will pay all the money needed for my marriage.
May Allah pless them and make me do the same for my kids 🙏🏻
Everybody has different preferences. I am 29 too and couldn’t wait to move out at 18. I loved living with people my own age during university and being free to do whatever I felt like.
@@Marly123 I agree with you, I hope everyone lives the life that makes them feel more comfortable.
Same thing in India.. Blessed to have been born in such a culture I mean I can't live like this where the only person I have to talk to is a wall...
@@manusingh1732 Most 18 years olds don’t live alone though. It’s normal to share a house.
@@manusingh1732😅
Or , and here is a better idea. You teach them to save it and they have the money when they move
You can teach them how to save while also saving that $250 per month for rent they pay. It doenst have to be one or the other. The parent is already teaching then to pay bills by charging $250 per month for rent. And many parents who do this don't even tell their kid they are giving all the " rent" back to them when they turn 25. They wait until it's time and surprise them with it when it's time after the kid have proved themselves to be responsible with it by paying the $250 per month rent and probably saving too.
Some children may not save it
This thank you 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Nope. I like her way too. Even better, pay 300-400 a month n they'll have more than needed for a downpayment.
Lmao 😂 I just heard my moms voice reading that.
European here! I still don't get it why Americans move out so early..Here people move out even in their 30s..
What does being “Asian” have to do with anything? Normal people don’t kick their children out at 18. Period.
I will never push my baby out. I will teach her how to save and ensure she has a brighter life and strong start in life for sure❤🎉
Not just save, but invest. If you just let the money sit, then it is being eaten away by inflation. A high yield CD or high yield savings account should be the minimum act of having the money work for you.
My dad did that! But he returned the money back to me when I moved out. 😊. Grateful!
That’s what she said in the video. To give it back.
What'd you do with the money? What do you have to show for it?
You have a great dad
Your dad is a great dad.
@@rainetravels1410 What business is that of yours?
I lived with my mom until I was 23, I am 30 and now my mom lives with me 😊 I am proud to provide because I was provided for til I could stand on my own
Lots resonates... And I LOVE that time-shifting Divine gifting... I have experienced it here and there in life, but in the last few weeks, it has been happening a LOT... I have been very ill and exhausted, with so much to do, and I keep needing extra breaks... and somehow I keep getting to step outside of time... and I give gratitide for it!
I track all my day's tasks etc. including medical breaks... Lately, there's been many times where I've done 2-4 hours of tasks, calls, paperwork, e-mailing, plus breaks, then go to track it and chk what's next on my schedule, and only half or less of that time is showing as having passed, and I have to squeeze it all in my digital agenda! Blew my dr & therapist away when I showed them! 😂
🙏🎉🌟🌌
lady!? when's the last time you bought groceries?!
Our culture doesn't kicked kids after university graduation. Family is important and grow in their professions with parents, so when parents grow old, we take care and love rhem too.
Okay but understand the mental conditions. And no a lot of parents don’t get “kicked out. I dont know WHY you guys keep using that word just by watching videos about it on youtube. But no, children don’t kicked out. If anything the kids want to move out.
And try to understand that not ALL families are kind and caring, and can cause mental exhaustion.
Smart. They are not ready at 18. Let LOVE abide...❤❤❤
feeling blessed to be an Asian .
My mom asked $200, but also had a savings account since we were born and had us on a joint credit card so we came out into the world with perfect credit 😊
😅😅😅😅
I lived on my own since I was 14. I’m 41 now I can promise you this would have been literally life-changing parents. Please do that for your children. If I was to change anything on death, it would be to put the money into a ETF every month because realistically, at that point it would double every seven years so it would give a larger down payment for a house
What's an ETF?
@@akabga it’s basically a pool of different stocks most 401k etc will use vanguard ( voo ) ticker symbol because it will be a pool of the top 500 stocks like apple tesla etc
Also look up the big 50 dividend paying stocks there are 50 companies that has paid out high dividends year after year for 50 plus years
@@akabga”ETFs or "exchange-traded funds" are exactly as the name implies: funds that trade on exchanges, generally tracking a specific index. When you invest in an ETF, you get a bundle of assets you can buy and sell during market hours-potentially lowering your risk and exposure, while helping to diversify your portfolio.”
TL;DR: Many investors like ETFs and index funds because they’re generally low-risk, low-cost, and a “boring” way to invest in the stock market to reap the benefits of historically good returns.
@@akabga Exchange-traded funds are exactly as the name implies. Money that is traded on exchanges. Risky if you ask me.
Maybe an index fund... or at least a high-yield CD or high yield savings account if you want to protect the principal with guaranteed returns. Today, you can find CDs paying over 5% and savings over 4%.
I paid £300 to my parents as rent in the 1980s. Never got a penny back, it helped pay the bills.
We don't throw our kids out. Our kids are our kids till we die..
What a disgrace to CHARGE your own child to live in your/their house, yes, because it's their house too. They are not your tenants or an investment, they are your children.
Can you imagine when you become elderly and move into your child's home and they CHARGE you rent? Yeah, your child charges their elderly parent RENT to live in their house.
Stop that nonsense.
Teach your children how to be decent and responsible adults instead.
Exactly...or kids charge parents for taking care of them. We talk about the lack of community and a "village" people used to have...this is exactly this type of thinking that contributes to division in generations.
I mean, it’s just different cultures. Different cultures, different values. What’s considered bizarre in one place seems totally normal elsewhere. My parents would laugh in my face if I provided rent money, so I get it. But it seems like people of this type of culture are fine with it, so as long as it doesn’t harm anyone, I’m okay with it.
Its a proven way to teach a young adult to be committed to a bill..when they move out it becomes normal for that person to pay rent/mortgage and to priorities spending.
Well it does cost the child to take care of their elderly parents. You don't realise that when they reach those ages, the adult child would usually be the one in charge of the money and whatever pension comes in. It all works out similarly to charging your adult child rent in the end. What goes around, comes around and there's nothing wrong with it.
You do realize every body in that house is an expense? Energy, water, garbage, internet, etc., but also wear and tear of the property itself. Yet, this person wasn’t even actually charging their kid rent. Just saving it up for them so that they 1) get used to paying a sum each month, and 2) have a nice lump sum when they move out. Idk where your outrage/offense is coming from, but it definitely seems misplaced here.
A lot of Caribbean parents are like this- we don’t expect our kids to leave home at 18 years old! It’s like, at 11:59 your are a kid and then 1 minute later at 12:00 midnight, you grown. Kids stay at home, save, go to school - most parents done even want their kids to leave home. It was strange to me when I heard about this “18 years old, now get out”
True lol my mom says i can stay with her till 26 but by then im exepcted to jave moved to study, may i ask what caribbean island your from? Im dominican🇩🇲
You give jamaican, trinidadian or st lucian vibes though😂
@@qitarabeaupierre4551 come to India my friend kids live with parents forever
Exactly. They don't know how to make a family grow up together.
It's mind blowing to me reading comments about people actually having both parents in the home; being actually wanted instead of wanted because u prove useful... I moved out alone at 17 to a whole different state. 26 now have learned a lot n been thru wayy too gahhhdamnnn much but ayye I'm still alive and I can't say the same about too many people in my life 🙏🏾
Carribean american person here and yep, this is so true. I once told my mom I thought of leaving at 18 because everyone else was and I got an earful about how I wasn't an adult just because the time changed and that just because everyone else is leaving doesn't mean I should and that I should focus on college. Education has always been her #1 priority and she said she'd never kick me out. I don't understand kicking kids out at 18.
My wife and I considered it that our kids are our responsibility. Therefore we never told them that they have to leave. We had 3 girls, so I told them up front that we would not pay for any weddings, that was their responsibility. However, we paid for their education. One went to a state university, one went to a beauty school and the last went to one university and then to the Art institute in Chicago, attaining a PHD in Education. We gave them all a down payment on a home, before they got married.
I left home at 18 because I was ready to go…I turned 18 and officially became more mature than the adults..
I give my parents 1000 rent every month and I will not take it back. They deserve it.
What a considerate person you are, pretty rare in this comment thread, I’ve never seen such freeloading ungrateful grifters in all my life.
@@BedmomentsI was kind of wondering, most comments seem to be making a lot of assumptions. Many parents are on a fixed income, or have just assisted in paying for the kid's college-- and have multiple kids!
If a parent needs a kid to kick in $250 to help pay the rent or help pay for groceries, yeah it'd be nice to sit at a side so you can give them back $21,000 or something later... But it's also nice to buy the groceries, So you all can eat.
@@clarem8784 it’s pretty unrealistic for the vast majority of families to not need some form of participation when it comes to household expenses. Especially when considering the offspring become adult enough to be employed.
I think there is a large element of using this arrangement as a status symbol type thing, a bit like a poor man’s trust fund. A way for the lower middle classes to show off by making out they themselves don’t need financial assistance blah blah. It’s all rather silly really and is very much gladly received and expected by many a spoilt child. After all who would be able to refuse this arrangement, giving up basically nothing as you will receive it all back whilst living Scott free.
@@monsoonrain2436 this has a lot to do with the fact that in other countries the welfare system has not covered the care of the elderly or destitute like it has in the west. The children have not had to give anything in return to their parents, in fact many are squeezing the last dime out of them and sitting back waiting for them to die so they can gobble up their inheritance.
Some of the disgusting entitlement that many of the commenters on this thread have shown is utterly staggering.
Not only would they be completely unwilling to assist their parents in their elderly years but the idea of making a small cash contribution to their family home is abhorrent to them, pure selfish grifters.
Some of these disgusting entitled, lazy self centred dullards are going to be in for a shock in the future anyway, many of the parents will not be in the same financial situation as they maybe now and some will lose everything and the state may not cover any of their costs.
Things are rapidly changing in the west particularly due to mass immigration that will see to it that what ‘free’ care we had enjoyed in the past will be financially harvested from relatives.
In your culture this idea that the family club together and support themselves is in fact a survival mechanism that would see thousands of elderly people die on the streets otherwise.
Not one of these greedy useless grifters would willingly give a home let alone care to their elderly relatives or extended family, but look what privileges they expect from their parents. Their grabbing hands want to live basically Scott free in their parents house for years whilst waiting for their big payout at the end, they won’t be grateful and they won’t extend the benefit, they will simply be waiting for them to die and leave them more money….. these days are coming to an end however, life is being changed significantly and not for the better.
If the parents want to give the rent money to help their kids out, let them. I don’t get why you guys keep seeing it as something negative. What if the parents want their kids to have a good life therefore they gave them money?
My MIL did this for my husband, she also got a credit card in his name & only paid utilities with extra money he would give her. So he has really good credit now too. Wish my parents would have done that for me lol.
Why?
You mean you wish your parents would have lived your life for you?
@@theDurgaLovethat's not at all what i meant
@theDurgaLove How is her MIL living her sons life for him? She set her son up very well financially without putting much of her own money into it. Financially literacy is part of a parent's job to help their child out as an adult.
You can do it for yourself and work towards a great credit score. I did that for myself. It's doable
Indian people living their whole life with parents😂💀
I was today years old when I learned something new 🤯….I will definitely be doing this with my kids when they get older….I want them to be smart and responsible. Thank you for this advice👏👍🤗❤
21k is a down payment in 1995, the average home price in the US is 430k, a 10% down payment is 43k and that still doesn’t get you past PMI insurance, they’ll need 86k for that.
But it will be their first home, meaning they can use a USDA or FHA loan and put down way less
Plus, why are you buying an average priced home? I'm buying my first house now, it's a nice 3 bedroom/1.5 bath brick house in a small town in Florida. Less than 220k and I'm paying less than $100 down because I'm using USDA
@@annewithane7876could you give details on how to get that.
@@annewithane7876what part of Florida? Nothing specific for privacy, but like rural small town? Unfortunately, not all industries allow for that possibility, though, and require you to live closer to one of the bigger areas.
@@the_rachel_sam I get that. I am in a kinda small town south of Jax. USDA does have restrictions on where you can buy (can't be in the city), but I believe you can use an FHA loan to buy in a more urban area. Another thing we did to make buying a home more achievable was negotiating for the seller to pay closing costs. We used to live in the city and thought about buying there, but most of the affordable areas were not very safe. 😕 If we had needed to stay there for work reasons, we probably would have gotten a townhome because they're cheaper and some of them are gated communities which seem a little more secure.
That's great if you have one child. I have 4 boys, athletic boys that eat like a barbarian! Between the electric bill from staying up all night, running water, cooking gas, heat, etc. my monthly bill will be $3k easy, just to support them. It's best they get a place within their means or together and I teach them to save $250 a month until they're 25. Meanwhile, my sanity and bank account are both in tact... 🤦🏽♀️
Why did u raise them to stay up all night????
They should definitely pay their way I agree. This idea of giving all their money back to ‘teach them to save’ is actually pathetic and will teach them nothing. All it is is a nice touch for wealthier families to give their kids the financial support without looking like their spoiling them, they are spoiling them however and making it difficult for ordinary families to extract the much needed cash out of their adult kids.
My two boys pay their way and wouldn’t dream of having the money back they know it is necessary to keep the house running.
@@elba6811they are adults living under a parents roof not kids.
That would be fun for them to split an apartment together!
As soon as we got a job at 16, we paid$50 a week but we never got that money back, it showed us responsibilities, we moved out when ever we felt we wanted to and moved back in when we needed to
My mother in law let me live with her family for free and Im so grateful because i was able to get a car, pursue my education, and get my own place to live before 19 because of her. Shes honestly an angel and my husband definitely gets his big heart from her.
It payed off for both of them,,you in turn have turned out to be a good wife and DIL,,she took a chance on you.CONTINUE TO REMAIN THE SAME,,REMEMBER WHO WAS THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU NEEDED HELP.CONTINUED BLESSINGS TO YOU.